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Author Topic: Dormant Guardian  (Read 343 times)

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Offline Lakhdar

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Dormant Guardian
« on: July 09, 2017, 10:37:02 AM »
Hi, I'm working on illustrating my already finished story: Dormant Guardian.
Genre: sci-fi, fantasy, adventure
only few pages left for chapter #1 to be finished.
Cover is left to the end

Story: Molly Ringgs came from the future to find Neptune Ringgs (Yep!) and kisoko to deliver few messages:  Destroy the time markers. that's the first.
But why and what happened? Molly's mom is a guardian who fell dormant years ago.. to reach her one must control time travel. But the problem is, that there's a legend about a bulk universe and its Key, Trappist lords think that the dormant guardian is the Key.

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« Last Edit: July 12, 2017, 05:40:10 AM by Lakhdar »
Dormant Guardian manga:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,18359.0.html
"We'll bring her back!"

Offline Forlorn Serpent

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2017, 10:51:17 AM »
Hello Lakhdar. I'm a little confused with what is happening in the second to last page, top panel.

I noticed you haven't introduced yourself in the welcome center. Please do so. That will kinda determine how I should respond to your manga here.
No actual link
self-publishmycomic.com

Offline Lakhdar

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2017, 11:03:07 AM »
Sorry about that, I totally forgot introduction myself (due to the heat wave maybe, I'm a desert dweller)

the story is a bit complicated, the next two chapters will make some stuff clear, I'll be happy to spoil the events if you want.
Dormant Guardian manga:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,18359.0.html
"We'll bring her back!"

Offline Forlorn Serpent

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2017, 11:14:07 AM »
No spoilers needed. It's better to read without knowing what's going to happen.
No actual link
self-publishmycomic.com

Offline S8N

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2017, 12:12:58 PM »
Yea, there's some holes in the story. Assuming it's the beginning of a series, there's some things that were too ambiguous.

For example, what is the significance of a "wandering calligrapher"?

The people Molly encountered seemed to be delinquents. We can assume their motives, but it was too subtle to make a call on.

The most important fundamental of creating a story is to make sure that your view of the story is in line to the reader's. The author knows exactly what his story is like, but the reader does not. Though it is difficult for you to view your story from a different angle, it is an important skill to have. Alternatively, you can have a reader base (like us) to give us our opinions through it ;)
~~~
S8N

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2017, 03:37:50 PM »
I'm impressed with the artwork, very much 90s as you said. I didn't realize you had already posted this when I commented in the welcome center (my bad). Some of the linework is a little rough, but the coloring is quite smooth. I look forward to seeing updates on this. Leaving things ambiguous for me has made me interested to see what's happening, although leaving the question unanswered for too long may cause a reader to lose interest. For now, though, it seems fine to leave some things open. We're still being introduced to the universe, and things have some wiggle room to fall into place.
"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!"--Marquis de Sade
"A loss of innocence / one hand to wash the other / be a perfectionist / you're nothing if you're just another"--TBM, "Goodnight"
Got Ecchi? Join us.

Offline Lakhdar

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2017, 03:43:07 PM »
Quote
Yea, there's some holes in the story. Assuming it's the beginning of a series, there's some things that were too ambiguous.

For example, what is the significance of a "wandering calligrapher"?

The people Molly encountered seemed to be delinquents. We can assume their motives, but it was too subtle to make a call on.

The most important fundamental of creating a story is to make sure that your view of the story is in line to the reader's. The author knows exactly what his story is like, but the reader does not. Though it is difficult for you to view your story from a different angle, it is an important skill to have. Alternatively, you can have a reader base (like us) to give us our opinions through it ;)

I knew from your post that you're  :biggrin:

I'm in love with a specific type of story telling that I don't know its name, it gives mysterious fragments of the story, in the end it forms a chain and everything becomes clear.

I'll use your idea to create an extra page.
Dormant Guardian manga:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,18359.0.html
"We'll bring her back!"

Offline Lakhdar

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2017, 03:53:55 PM »
I'm impressed with the artwork, very much 90s as you said. I didn't realize you had already posted this when I commented in the welcome center (my bad). Some of the linework is a little rough, but the coloring is quite smooth. I look forward to seeing updates on this. Leaving things ambiguous for me has made me interested to see what's happening, although leaving the question unanswered for too long may cause a reader to lose interest. For now, though, it seems fine to leave some things open. We're still being introduced to the universe, and things have some wiggle room to fall into place.

I couldn't explain my idea better than you!
I like putting mysterious rocks to cover them later in time.
Maybe this is a bit odd but calling  my work a universe made me happy.  :blush: means a lot to me

thank you very much for feed back
Dormant Guardian manga:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,18359.0.html
"We'll bring her back!"

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2017, 04:03:22 PM »
Not a problem. And, also, as a note, there is a way to quote multiple people in one posts. As you're posting, you can scroll down and select "Insert Quote" which will enable you to quote along the thread.
"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!"--Marquis de Sade
"A loss of innocence / one hand to wash the other / be a perfectionist / you're nothing if you're just another"--TBM, "Goodnight"
Got Ecchi? Join us.

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2017, 06:07:08 PM »
I don't fully get whats going on But love the art style.

Offline Lakhdar

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2017, 09:51:54 AM »
[Page #14 & #15 added]

Thank you MahluaandMilk, I wasn't aware of that.

I don't fully get whats going on But love the art style.

Hi KeanFox, it's going to be clear as story moves on. ^^

I have a question:

Is it OK to add pages every time I finish, to the post of a particular chapter I make, if it is not against the rules. Because sometimes I'm off the internet for months.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2017, 02:38:49 PM by Lakhdar »
Dormant Guardian manga:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,18359.0.html
"We'll bring her back!"

Offline Shane

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Re: Dormant Guardian
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2017, 01:40:40 PM »
*O* SO many event happen in 1 chapter