What do you think of this art style?

[MK]

Ended up doing some quick line art for you so you can see what I mean



And some screentones (not sure how they come up here but this would be if you want to darken something without hatching/cross hatching


Idk how much criticism you want but if you want more then feel free to ask (panel layout/artwork).  Just know that I am a pretty strict critic if you really want to learn from me.

[Hammilton]

I'm planning on doing some screen toning to the train; When you do it as straight lineart it really emphasizes how badly constructed that panel is.

I wonder if screentones could be overlaid on the first panel in such a way to darken it some without eliminating all the work that went into that panel.  I think something needs to be done to emphasize that the man standing on the tracks is illuminated by the light on the train and surrounded in blackness.  Do you agree with that?

[MK]

I'm planning on doing some screen toning to the train; When you do it as straight lineart it really emphasizes how badly constructed that panel is.

I wonder if screentones could be overlaid on the first panel in such a way to darken it some without eliminating all the work that went into that panel.  I think something needs to be done to emphasize that the man standing on the tracks is illuminated by the light on the train and surrounded in blackness.  Do you agree with that?

I didn't use a ruler for most of the lines to save time but if you take the time to do good line art then it'll probably look better.  Also you could use a lighter screentone which will show more of the original lines, my suggestion would to get a textured brush as it will save you tons of time and still look pretty cool.  About the man standing on the tracks, you need to use contrast to make things pop out more or you could also direct the reader's eyes by changing the vanishing point of the train tracks to his face.  Honestly, i think some of these panels need to be bigger so you can show more detail

[Hammilton]

I think Panel one could be digitally resized without much issue, panel two could be smaller for sure, and panel three could be redrawn larger to better effect allowing more detail.  I think I like panel four the way it is, though I'd like to darken the shadows on his face more, brushed ink I think.  I think along the tracks should be blackened more, but not solidly.  I'm still working on panel five, though I'm still not enamored with it.

I've been planning on adding more dials and such on panel two digitally, but I don't want to do too much digitally.  Screentones, sure, but I don't really want to redo linework much that way.  I like the effect lines though.

[Gabryel]

I've read the thread so far and just wanted to add I didn't feel Hammi being that passive agressive ... but, well, personal feelings. I don't feel attacked quickly, especially not when I critisize peoples work. Also wanted to say, I admire you pushing yourself through the last 6 months and I'd love to help. So first things first. Biggest problem:

I have no idea what the page is actually showing. Let's tackle that issue.

Tell me what is happening or supposed to happen on this page. There is a guy on the railway and the train is coming. Who'se hand is that and what is it pulling? Is it supposed to be the train conductor? Is he trying to stop the train? Or speed up to run the guy over? Why is the guy first on the railway and then the train passes him by?

It's ok to not show faces at first, but if you don't, you need to give hints in the surroundings with which the reader can find a kind of orientation. If it's supposed to be the train conductor, research a uniform and how the controls of a STEAM!!!! engine train looks like so the reader knows what he's looking at.

You can also tell me what you wanted to show with this page and I'll try to help setting up a page for you. I'd need to know if you want a closed panel manga or an open one too. 

[Hammilton]

That'll take longer than maybe belongs here.  When I get back home I'll write you a pm more properly on my laptop, my phone is ill equipped for a long reply.

[Happytimedoggy]

I have to say that I really like your style there.

Why?

Because it's something different and unique that you usually don't find in the average manga. I like what you did with the lines on the walls and from the train smoke stack. It kind of has a chaotic appearance and a pattern to it at the same time.

Manga and anime lately really looks all the same. Big round eyes, spiky, bright hair, big heads because that's how students are taught to do it in manga college. (Yes they really have colleges in Japan dedicated just to anime and manga.)

Don't ever let anyone tell you that your style there isn't any good because it isn't "manga style." Manga isn't a style it's just the Japanese name for comic books . Crayon Shin Shan is just as much manga as Tokyo Ghoul, Sword Art Online or Bleach is.

That aside, you've come a long way in only six months. I would stick to your style if that's how you want to draw, don't force a different style that doesn't feel right for you. But I would work on the cross hatching and shading and refine it as well as pay closer to symmetry to anatomy. For example your character's face looks a bit unbalanced to me.

On the close up panel, where his hand is on the lever, his chest short of looks barreled out to me and I get an impression that the side of the shirt below the chest is just hanging lose. This is just my opinion though and others might disagree with me.

Keep up the good work.

[IndecisiveChild]

It looks cool unique and original in its own way. Its amazing... That's for sure

[Gabryel]

So, Hammilton told me what it is that the page is supposed to show and I made a quick sketch for the paneling. I thought it might be a good idea to show it here too, because maybe one or the other can learn a thing or two about setting up panels. I'm not a master of that myself, but after the first 120 pages of my own manga I start getting a hang of it.

The scene is supposed to show a train stopping in front of the guy on the rails.

I would go about that like this: You see the train coming from another angle, to show the distance and show the small figure standing on the railway. on the right you see train details from the top, overlapping the first two pics because it's happening simultaneously. Then you show the hand on the break with speedlines next to the breaking wheels throwing out sparks with some loud sound FX. On the bottom you see another closeup of the face next to the black silhouette of the man and the train.



I would also not go too  much about shonen or seinen or what ever art style because there are so many different styles that are all legitimate. Manga means nothing but "comic" in Japanese. The genre does divide alot, but you should not focus on "what style do I have" but more on "how do I show what I want to show".

In many shojo, so girls mangas, it's alot about relationships and pretty people. So the panels show alot of faces, emotions, cool poses and not alot of background, because that's not what it is about. If you look at some manga like Hunter X Hunter, you'll see that there is a lot of background because the figures interact with the world much more than with the people itself. What you need to find is what your story is about, and focussing on how to show that best.

In this case, it is a kinda mysterious flair and the "coolness" of the guy who stands on the railway stopping the train. So I focussed on showing the speed of the train and simulate something like a zoom in on the character.

Oh and Hammilton, if you like it, you are most welcome to use this set-up as it serves you best :)

[Walter B]

I really dig that surreal style. Love it!!