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Author Topic: Negitoro Mix! ! !: Luka's Little Present - Vocaloid - Miku x Luka - Rated T  (Read 1142 times)

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Offline Kisa Kisa

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(I posted this on FF.net already, check me out if you can?)

Alright, next up is kyub3y14's plot bunny: "If i were to suggest a one shot it'd involve a hickey somehow and miku failing to hide it." A pretty open plot you gave me there, but since it's humor then I'll rate this one T.

________________________________________


Luka's Little Present

________________________________________

Miku groaned as she pulled the collar of her shirt up as far as it would go. Nope, still there in all its bruised glory. She had told Luka to be careful, but it seems that the pinkette had let her passions overtake her... yet again. But this was the only time that Miku hadn't been able to stop Luka from forming the one thing that girls never wanted on their necks the next day at school - a hickey.

"I could wear a scarf," Miku thought to herself hopefully as she turned on her TV to the weather channel.

"Good morning, Tokyo! This is meteorologist Kamui Gakupo, bringing you the latest weather update! It's gonna be a scorcher today in April, as an unexpected heat wave rolls over us for the next two days!"

"Dammit!" Miku screamed as she threw the remote at her wall, the force of her throw making the batteries fall out of their slot. Well, the scarf was out for sure. She couldn't wear her blazer either. 'Screw you Luka," Miku thought darkly as she sulked over to the kitchen. If she had some make up, then she could use concealer; unfortunately for her, she didn't wear makeup, seeing as her school didn't allow it and she looked fine without it anyway. Miku's mom was cheerily swaying her hips as she stirred something in a bowl. Miku self-consciously covered the hickey with her long teal hair. This was going to be a long day.

"Good morning, sweetie," Miku's mom chirruped in her high pitched voice. Miku sat down at the table and tried to pretend that everything was okay, that she didn't sneak out last night for a steamy make out session with Luka, that she was oh-so-innocent.

Um, yeah. Sure. Maybe if she kept telling herself that, the hickey would go away. Yeah right.

"Morning, Mom. What's for breakfast?" Miku asked as she began tapping her fingers against the dark wood.

"Pancakes... more like, they're supposed to be pancakes. I think I put too much flour, and I don't want to make too many, so I'll fix it later. Would cereal be alright with you for this morning?" Miku's mom asked. Miku perked up at this. Flour... this could be it!

"Mom, can I have some of that batter? I need some for an... experiment, and this way you can fix the recipe without wasting ingredients."

"Uh, sure thing, sweetie."

________________________________________

Miku grinned as she walked confidently through the school gates with her hair up in two buns. Her pale skin was unblemished at the neck, and Miku was practically skipping to get to class. A flash of pink hair caught Miku's eye in the hallway and Miku felt her cheeks grow warm along with the rest of her body. Was it hot in here, or was it just her? It was supposed to get to be 33 degrees today, so it was only natural that she was hot, right?

Teal eyes met cerulean ones, and Miku felt her heart thump. Luka gave her a slight impish grin and mouthed some words - "I love you" - before disappearing into her class. Even though Miku was mad at Luka right now (not really), she yet again wished that they were in the same class so they could at least pass glances with each other.

"Miku-chan!" a certain greenette's voice caught her attention before a ball of green known as Gumi barreled into the tealette. Miku stumbled backwards a few steps and shouted.

"Gumi, what the heck!? Why are you running?" Miku scolded the green haired girl. Gumi rubbed the back of her neck and stuck out her tongue.

"Ehehe, it's faster this way. Walking is too slow," she said. Miku facepalmed herself and shook her head before heading into her own class.

________________________________________

"And so, in order to apply this formula, you must do the following steps..." the teacher's voice droned on and Miku was getting tired (due to a certain pinkette from last night). Miku propped her head on her hand and cursed at her bad luck for not getting a window seat. She was smack dab in the middle of the class, right next to Rin the Loli, Gumi the Runner, Lily the Pervert, and Miki the Quiet. All were interesting girls, but they all seemed too interested in Miku for some reason...

"Miku-chan, what are your sizes?" Lily asked, gazing at Miku's chest area. Miki silently swatted the perverted blonde with a stack of papers, and said blonde yelped in false pain.

"Miku-chan, how far have you gone with Luka?" Rin asked curiously. Miku's face burned.

"Pretty far, right Miku-chan?" Gumi teased the tealette. Miku nodded her head in defeat.

"Oh my god, you're right Gumi! Just look at the color of that hickey!" Lily exclaimed. Miku's eyes snapped open. Her hickey!? Miku's hands flew to her neck and she felt her heart sink to her stomach. The pancake batter that she had used as homemade concealer had melted away to reveal the deep violet hickey that Luka had proudly made.

"It's to show that you're mine, and no one else can have you," Luka tried to explain as Miku crossed her arms and fumed, not letting Luka touch her.

Well, she certainly was marked as Luka's, seeing as the pinkette practically scared off any boy that tried to talk to Miku with her infamous 'death glare'.

Miku moaned as she sank her head into her arms. She regretted putting her hair up now. Miki kindly patted her back as Gumi and Lily guffawed and teased the tealette, while Rin blankly looked upon the scene with mild interest.
When lunch time came around, Miku sprinted off to the bathroom with Miki in tow. The two instantly got to work, Miku keeping still as Miki applied the concealer. Miku resisted the urge to move as the red head daintily applied the makeup.

"Thanks, Miki," Miku said in a grateful tone. Miki nodded and gave Miku a thumbs up, which was her way of saying, "You got this." Hopefully the concealer would work. It would work, right?

________________________________________

"Dammit!" Miku shrieked as she touched her neck, feeling the mixture of sweat and concealer come off her neck. It had only been an hour until Miku had noticed a faint tickling sensation at her neck during P.E. The girls had been outside in this ungodly weather (Miku could have sworn it was more than 33 degrees), where Coach Sakine had mercilessly made them run laps. Miku wiped her forehead and grimaced. So far no one had noticed the hickey besides Rin, Gumi, Lily, and Miki, and she was planning on keeping it that way. Miku let her hair tumble out of its twin buns and felt herself sweat even more profusely. The sun had turned her teal hair into a stove, it seemed. Miku wished that she could cool off somewhere as Coach Sakine blew her whistle.

"Alright, ladies, time to hit the pool!" the brunette shouted.

Pool!? The situation of other girls seeing her hickey (and other ones that Luka had made on, er, more intimate parts of her body) filled the short girl with dread.

"Why... why me..." Miku asked the sky, holding her fist up and shaking it. She really did have the worst luck out there. The image of Luka's grinning face popped up into Miku's mind, and Miku then decided to get her revenge later when Luka least expected it. Oh, she was going to get it.

The girls chattered as the filed into the locker rooms, sighing as they entered the air conditioned room. The clanging of lockers and giggles filled Miku's ears as she tried to pick a corner to change into her bathing suit.

"Miku, can you tie my top?" a girl called out to the tealette.

'Why me?! There's 30 other girls!' Miku wanted to scream at the smiling girl.

________________________________________

'This is bad,' Miku thought as she tried to blend into the shadows. If she were wearing her middle school swimsuit, it wouldn't be a problem - but alas, she was in high school, and the school allowed girls to bring their own swimsuits from home as long as it was fairly decent.

Miku really wished she hadn't picked out that striped bikini as she watched the other girls line up at the pool.
'How can I get out of this one?' Miku muttered in her mind. Luka hadn't just made a hickey on her neck; no, she had went on and made one on her back and thigh as well! The two had certainly been rather busy last night.

'The one on my thigh is fine, but the one on my neck and back is too noticeable,' Miku thought. Then an idea struck her head. She was going to have to use her acting skills for this one.

________________________________________

"Lady problems?" Coach Sakine asked, doubtful of the tealette's claim.

"Y-Yeah! I just got it right now, and I'm totally unprepared. So I can't swim today," Miku explained. Coach Sakine raised an eyebrow.

"Why can't you just ask someone for a tampon?" *censored*, she was right.

"I-I'm too embarrassed to use one," Miku asked, squeezing her thighs together for emphasis. "Aha…ahahaha..."

Coach Sakine waved her hand dismissively towards the locker rooms. "Go ahead and change, but you're going to need to do extra laps in the pool the next time we do swimming." Miku nodded her head enthusiastically before sprinting for the locker rooms. Only two more hours to go.

________________________________________

The rest of the day went surprisingly well for some reason. Miku couldn't help but feel like something else was going to happen though, considering her luck. A quick peck on her cheek caught the tealette off guard. A smiling Luka filled her vision, pink hair and all.

"How was your day?" The taller girl asked as she affectionately ruffled the shorter girl's bangs. Miku wanted to kiss her, but instead she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Terrible. Your little mouth got too happy with my neck last night, and I spent the whole day trying to hide your mark," Miku said, looking away from her girlfriend. Luka grinned and held out her hands to her sides, as if she was saying "What did you expect?"

"Really? I think your neck got too happy with my mouth as well. I distinctly remember you saying, 'Oh Luka! Don't stop, give me more! Yes, baby!'" Luka answered, imitating Miku's high pitched voice and succeeding to make the tealette's face turn red.

"I did not!"

"Um, yes you did. Especially when I was giving you ora-"

"Don't you dare say it out loud." Miku was ticked off now, and Luka was still grinning that same grin. Did she even know what shame was?

"I especially liked the part when you were moaning out and-"

"Seriously, Luka! Stop it!" Miku screeched. Geez, what was wrong with her?! Miku didn't mind their little late-night love sessions, but those were meant to be private. Not public.

Snap. The sound of a fake camera shutter registered in Miku's mind as she watched Luka type something into her phone.

"Luka..." Miku began, her voice soft and dangerous, "what are you doing?" Luka tapped the screen with a final tap in the corner and put away the smart phone.


"Just taking a picture of my cute girlfriend. I used the flower crown filter on you." Miku's jaw dropped as she reached for her own phone and checked her Snapchat. There on Luka's story was an off-guard picture of Miku, with the caption "Miku is mine." The pinkette didn't fail to circle the obvious hickey in bright red. Miku felt herself become angry. Slowly...

"Now everyone knows you're mine!" Luka proclaimed, her tone proud and playful.

The sound of a laughing pinkette being chased by a very furious tealette filled the school hallways.
________________________________________

Eh, I wanted to do a perverted-ish Luka for this one. Miku really has terrible luck sometimes, just like me. Submit your plot bunny in the reviews section if you want your Negitoro fantasy to come to life! :D

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Offline MahluaandEggnog

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Ahaha, cute little story, although it almost breeches over some MR rules (that I would totally let slide given the overarching nature of the fic itself still follows a PG13 outline--but then again, I'm not a mod). It is a little cruel, though, to discuss private things so publicly.

Other than that, I think the structure and time flow of this one is a little more well done than the previous one. By chance, was this one written a little later?

Offline Kisa Kisa

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Uhn yeah, I published this a bit later. This fanfic is part of a one-shot collection so I just let it become humorous (or so I think).
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Offline MahluaandEggnog

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I also noticed that some other character's roles changed, especially Gakupo's, but I kind of assume that's because each of these fics takes place in sort of their own universe.

I'm not sure how to take your emotion on "Uhn yeah", but I will say not to feel bad about it. What I saw was growth, and that's a good thing. It's okay to take some positivity to heart. Generally, I try to critique based on what I see established in a writer, so for you I see a fairly well-structured approach, so overall my takeaway after reading two of your works is that characterization changes from work to work, and that's fine as far as Vocaloids go. I just wonder how that would translate to a more solid state of character for higher level things like character development which generally aren't found in one-shots and rather in short stories or longer fics. If you'd like an example of a fanfiction author that does show some amazing characterization, I'd recommend ff.net user whutnot, although her most powerful works for me were the Claymore and Avatar: the Last Airbender/Legend of Korra works. She also has a Harry Potter one, and a few others that I'm not in the fandom of. Then again, if you don't care much for the fandoms her works are in, then that probably won't be of much help.

Offline Kisa Kisa

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I think Gakupo's an idiot in humor stories. A lovable idiot though :3

Oh, don't get me wrong! I was saying that about the publish date, I couldn't remember and I was too lazy to go and check on FF to see how far between these two were published!

I'm working on a multi-chap right now that's of sci-fi genre, but I'm not going to publish it here since it's kind of long (15,000 words for the two chapters so far). You're welcome to check it out on FF.net though. I'll be sure to check her out later, I probably won't finish the stories tho since I like to stick with the Vocaloid and PMMM fandoms.
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Offline MahluaandEggnog

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That's totally fine. I'll try to check out your story when I'm around FF.net again, but I generally only like to read completed stories (if only because too often, especially with whutnot, was I just going around reading through a fic and it's so good and I go to hit the "next chapter" button and am met with immense disappointment and then I look at the publish date and it's like 2010 or something and I'm just like "Oh.")

If you don't mind me asking, what exactly does PMMM stand for? My brain auto-corrected it to PWKM for .5 and I'm pretty sure that's not the same thing.

Offline Kisa Kisa

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Well I'm not forcing you lol XD I've always wanted to do an alien!Miku, so this fic is really fun to write for me (although I've been busy with schoolwork and whatnot lately).

Oh, stands for Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I was just too lazy to type out something longer :P MadoHomu is my first yuri ship, plus I just love this anime! I can't wait for the fourth movie X3
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