November 18, 2017, 09:49:23 PM

------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Author Topic: Penance  (Read 1969 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Penance
« on: September 30, 2016, 08:33:46 PM »
I finally finished Penance Chapter 1. After the first six pages I made a huge break and was going to let this just vanish into the wind as I usually do, but some miniscule thing finally clicked and I went ahead and made a first issue. I doubt I'll make any more chapters, but I'm glad to have this under the belt in some tiny way.

Crowds are death, perspective is not my friend and anatomy is non-existent. All I can hope is that the story seems interesting in some way or the other.

Cheers



"Chapter 1"








































"Chapter 2"

page 1


page 2

page 3

page 4

page 5

page 6
[/URL]

page 7


page 8

page 9
[/img]

page 10

page 11

page 12

page 13

page 14

page 15

page 16



"Chapter 3"

















"Chapter 4"


















"Chapter 5"

















"Chapter 6"































Spoiler
The celebrated Chosen One, The Hero Ro Graver, faced off against The Demon King with his two masters who were heroes in their own eras. Victory was not certain, but a good fight was expected.

But Ro choked completely in the face of real battle, and his masters died. The Demon King leaves, and the Leaders of the Kingdom must now decide his fate...
« Last Edit: November 01, 2017, 05:54:39 PM by legomaestro »

Offline Forlorn Serpent

  • Children's Book Author and Screenwriter
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 913
  • Gender: Male
  • Your Typical Unpublished Author... by choice
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2016, 09:05:59 PM »
Now you can say someone read your chapter  ;)

I'm happy to see someone finishing a chapter. I wish I could do that. The wall I hit can only be jumped and I broke my leg just trying to climb it.  :(

It was a little dry for me in the beginning, but everything made sense and the character and panel placement was okay.
« Last Edit: September 30, 2016, 09:41:10 PM by Forlorn Serpent »

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2016, 09:26:47 PM »
Yeah, there's a lot of rubble I built up in my engines for getting things done. Its still blocked up by other doubts but I think I can get it fixed. I used to doodle comics and animations for my friends back in the day without any issues, so id really like to get that back.

Your art is on the up dude.  Just keep at it and you'll get over that wall. If not then smash it with a giga drill breaker.

Haha, it was more fun making Heartbreaker Samantha for sure


Offline Manimal

  • God of Thunder & Rock n' Roll
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3428
  • Gender: Male
  • Kanan Ball The Future
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2016, 02:07:33 PM »
Right on Lego, whatever it takes to get stuff done do it. Although this is quick and sparse in terms of imagery it tells the story fine. If doing it this way works for you then go for it man. Soon enough I bet you can develop a nice fast style. I'd suggest using less white space, I know backgrounds are your mortal enemy, but they are for most everybody. I feel it might look better if you wrote the speech bubbles as the digital text is a bit weird with the images.

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2016, 06:13:20 PM »
Thanks man. The thing is I have so much more things to learn that just hanging around not being able to draw comics isn't worth it anymore. I need to be able to make pages at least.

Yeah, backgrounds are the plague for me tbh. I'll see what I can do. And I do suppose digital text only works on more refined pages.

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2016, 05:22:43 AM »
First two pages of the second chapter are up. I have no idea how this'll end up, but I'm hoping I'm actually doing this series. Took a bit long to make the pages because of reasons, but I'm ready to get on the wagon again.

Offline KeanFox

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 234
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2016, 12:01:35 AM »
I've read it twice.This is very interesting.

In the first page panel, its better to show someone sobbing. Don't use *Sob* *Stand* *jump**land* Show the character doing it. Its okay to use them in storyboard but not in the finished pages.

I think you should cut pages 2 to 12 out of the first chapter. Page 13 should be the start of story. And the cut pages add them later in the story

Adan and Babel are the most overused city names in webcomics. Its good to think of other names to go with you story.
I really like Graver and will love to see where the story go.
My questions so far.
How much time passed between the events of page 12 and 13?
Did you have fighting and magic system figuredout?
Sorry for my english.

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2016, 12:26:23 PM »
Thanks Kean! Glad you found it so.

Haha, good point. I guess i'll avoid using actual words next time.

Hm, I can see how it looks strange there. I thought I'd only have the first chapter so the pacing is weird. I should've in fact put more in that chapter to set up the characters.

I love complicated names as well haha, I guess Babel was too simple, but I don't want to come up with new names for demon kings and magic and everything. I haven't even researched the clothing that people wear in this world haha.

He's an interesting type, but I hope he has more to offer.


There was around 10 years between the past and now


I have a general idea. Basically everything inherently has mana in it. The structure affects how well it flows and how much is generated. Some people attach significance and personality to certain objects, others think it's just natural energy with no will or thought.

Fighting is nothing fancy - The more powerful you are, the less you need technique.

No problem Kean, and really, really thanks for reading

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2016, 06:52:25 AM »
Updated with two more pages, and I think I understand now. I've definitely got to have a script if I want to keep sane. There's just too much energy wasted thinking of the next pages without a general idea of where it's going.

I can do that easier when writing, but if I want to get a nice streamline I guess I've got to bite the bullet and script to some extent. I do hope that speeds things up.

Definitely not going to see much of change in quality for a while. Right now I just want to be able to get the comic out.

Offline KeanFox

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 234
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2016, 10:40:01 PM »
Nice! new pages.
Yea. Having a script helps alot.

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2016, 05:03:10 PM »
After a 9 hour rush while binge watching Netflix, I finished the second chapter for Penance! I have a flue and feel like crap, but I'm happy I finally managed to achieve something with a little push.

Offline suupertramp

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3231
  • Gender: Male
  • How to draw.....?
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2016, 05:58:22 PM »
well done!
it was an enjoyable read, and the action and effects are nicely done. obviously face quality and whatnot is not perfect, but the story and characters are believable.
i would love to read more when you do it :P
let me know if you want anything specific critiqued, otherwise i will just geenrally praise :P

There's just too much energy wasted thinking of the next pages without a general idea of where it's going.
that is why i cant churn out pages at my top speed for too long, i run out of story and stuff :P

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2016, 08:41:51 AM »
Cheers Suuper! Funny enough, I ended up finishing the chapter usuing the same concept. I need to learn to take my own advice, sometimes.

Thanks man. For now I'm really just aiming to finish the next chapter. I'm happy to hear some tips on good toning and scanning of my linework, since I'm suing a ballpoint pen and it's pretty hard to have some characteristic lines like you get from thicker brushes. Just trying to develop a style on that front.

The anatomy has to take a back burner seat for now for sure. Perspective too. You're free to point out how you'd make the buildings look less sucky though. Still impressed by that 3d render-over for the first page of this thing.


Offline suupertramp

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3231
  • Gender: Male
  • How to draw.....?
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2016, 04:20:13 PM »
cool.
it looks like you already use some level/colour control on the scanned images, they look digital at a glance, so i cant offer much advice on that.

as for toning/shading, i use the pencil tool to draw an outline and then fill it, this gives you more control with smaller patches of shade, and you can use the paintbrush if you want a softer edge. you can also overpaint and use the eraser to remove parts as well, thats a similar thing you might like that better.

you can obviously do manual shading as well, even manga artists that use screentone do this when it is quicker, especially shading on the neck under the chin.

as you can tell from my mangas, i recommend speed over quality, because sometimes your maximum quality isnt what you want anyway, so theres not too much point spending the extra time to get half-quality anyway, its better to work on other aspects, like composition etc which you can do with any level of drawing skill.

i often do anatomy gestures in between pages of manga to keep refreshing my skill level, if i draw for too long in one go (specially manga) my anatomy ability drops really low and my art looks like stuff from 4 or 5 years ago. it sort of refocuses me so i dont get used to my own bad style.

with a ballpoint pen, you can go over the same lines multiple times to get a tapering or thickening effect. or use a secondary pen like a fineliner to get extra thickness where you want it.

really g-pens and all that are there for the reason that its hard to get nice tapering lines with normal pens and stuff.

speed of drawing, specifically speed of individual lines will affect how they look, try varying your speed in practice, with lines, shapes, shading and stuff, and see how the length of line, wrist movement, arm movement, pressure, angle and all that affect your stroke. i normally draw hair very fast, so the edges taper quite nicely, even with ballpoint.

try drawing a picture quickly and then slowly to see the difference you have in control as well. you might notice that the slower one may be more accurate, but the faster one is more expressive.

consider this picture part 1 of my ballpoint tutorial :P

"soft multiple" lines are easier to make look thicker, as you dont dent the paper and form a groove that you then get stuck in :P

the scribble ones are looser than normal so you can see what i am doing with them

Spoiler


as for buildings, really going slowly to get the perspective right is the only way to get it good. with practice you can draw basic shapes permanently in perspective, and that helps for building up good guidelines

if you want, you can still commission me to do a 3d model, then you can use that to trace over whatever angle or scale you want. even a simpler model can give you the first guidelines, which minimizes your error overall.

even during action pages, try to not have 2 pages in a row without a single background, just drawing a couple of bricks or a door or a tree can make it seem that much more real.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2016, 04:26:20 PM by suupertramp »

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18397
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Penance
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2016, 04:56:41 PM »
You're a beast man haha. Are all those with a freaking ballpoint pen? You're joking!!! This is super helpful!

I think I'll switch to the pencil tool method as well. I've been using Paths, but the add up of layers and switching around is too annoying. I lose a lot of steam easily when drawing a comic page, so I try to keep things as streamlined as posisble.

For now I want to keep things traditional, but I have a few ideas of a background I'd love to have. Ro's Barracks for one. The City possibly sometime much later down the line.

Thanks again for the help suuper