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Author Topic: No I In Team, Really! Discussion  (Read 415 times)

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Online Forlorn Serpent

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No I In Team, Really! Discussion
« on: July 17, 2016, 11:25:58 AM »
Let me know what you think.  Vote on top :thumbsup:

If you vote "no", when you have time please come back to explain why. A short sentence will be enough but a long explanation will be appreciated. 
« Last Edit: July 19, 2016, 07:21:33 AM by Forlorn Serpent »

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: No I In Team, Really! Discussion
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2016, 12:06:07 PM »
I saw a couple of homophone errors, i.e. "close" instead of "clothes" towards the end there with Vici and also "of" instead of "have" when Killall discovers the broken egg. Nothing too major, but worth noting to fix in the final draft version. Other than that, I do like your script style. You certainly have a way with comedy that I don't.
"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!"--Marquis de Sade
"A loss of innocence / one hand to wash the other / be a perfectionist / you're nothing if you're just another"--TBM, "Goodnight"
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Online Forlorn Serpent

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Re: No I In Team, Really! Discussion
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2016, 12:23:54 PM »
ah great, thanks for the quick edit. i'll make sure to fix everything through the second read.