Demons Vs Aliens Discussion

[Forlorn Serpent]

I get the sense that not many readers are willing to leave comments. That sucks for writers because we see the views but can't get any actual feedback.

please take your time, the 10 seconds it takes, to vote.

Thank you for your time.

[Forlorn Serpent]

This post is to get the attention of past viewers. Please vote so I can get feedback. It saves both our times.

[AmanoMai]

the member counts of this forum is low anyway, I don't think you can expect people to read the story to begin with.
Try royalroadl or other webfiction sites maybe

[Forlorn Serpent]

the member counts of this forum is low to begin with anyway, I don't think you can expect people to read the story to begin with.
Try royalroadl or other webfiction sites maybe

Thanks for the advice. Will do.

[MisterSherbetLemon]

It's hard to comment when people have to locate the original story, I suggest editing your first post to include the story so people don't have to hunt out the story they're voting on.

Also, haven't checked if you've done it but people tend to be more willing to critique your stuff if you critique theirs. 

[AzimuthComics]

that's basically the first rule of writing. You start the story immediately. This isn't a novel. And even then, novel publishers want character development through action.

Plenty of good fiction doesn't start with action.

[Forlorn Serpent]

Please give actual discussion points, not generalities. You mentioned it lacks comedy. I thought i put comedy in every scene. That is something to discuss.

I come from a screenwriter perspective where you start with action. You don't waste time world building or character building. You put them in the world and have them go. Basically, you don't spoon feed the audience. I don't mean to imply anything with that statement. That is just what my professors have used to explain the process. Exposition slows down the story. Have the information revealed through action.

Since i am talking about movies and television, can you name one that starts with the method you prefer? i might be able to find a middle ground between the two.

[Forlorn Serpent]

If you think i started the scenes too late then that is an important issue that i need to fix. At what point are you confused in the story or wish you actually had background info with the characters?

[AzimuthComics]

Please give actual discussion points, not generalities. You mentioned it lacks comedy. I thought i put comedy in every scene. That is something to discuss.

I come from a screenwriter perspective where you start with action. You don't waste time world building or character building. You put them in the world and have them go. Basically, you don't spoon feed the audience. I don't mean to imply anything with that statement. That is just what my professors have used to explain the process. Exposition slows down the story. Have the information revealed through action.

Since i am talking about movies and television, can you name one that starts with the method you prefer? i might be able to find a middle ground between the two.

You might want to stop giving orders. It doesn't seem like you actually want help... If not, why did you post your script here?

You said in literature, now you've changed your statement. It's usually good to start a Television Series or movie with action. Novels don't necessarily have to, and it's certainly not the first rule of writing. 1984, Frankenstein and A Tale of Two Cities all start with very important non-action descriptions that set the tone and theme of the novel.
Lost in Translation is a movie that doesn't start with action, and Alien also comes to mind. You can also add Dr Strangelove, the Shining and Cinema Paradiso to that list, all well known masterpieces. Even The Godfather starts without major action.

[AzimuthComics]

If you think i started the scenes too late then that is an important issue that i need to fix. At what point are you confused in the story or wish you actually had background info with the characters?

All the time. I can't even give two personality traits of each character after reading the whole thing. It's too fast-paced to get to know them properly.

[Forlorn Serpent]

i want to take a step back. I do want feedback, i just want you to know where i come from. I don't want you to confuse a novel with a screenplay.

I will review my story for character traits. what i thought i made clear probably wasn't clear. That is why i want feedback.