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Author Topic: Balthazar the Fury  (Read 2427 times)

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Offline NO1SY

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Re: Balthazar the Fury
« Reply #15 on: July 04, 2016, 08:17:42 AM »
Cheers guys :)

@Lego - shame about the restrictions... I hoped I had found links that would be available for everyone... I'm sure you can find them just by searching the titles though.

I was wanting to give Balthazar his own horse but 1) I didn't want to pull a horse out of thin air and 2) him riding in "pierced, gaunt and red" didn't quite fit what I had already written. Hopefully I found a decent compromise in this piece.

And thanks again for the comments, it's good that I managed to create my own imagery in line with the songs own. It's one thing to retell, but it's something else to expand.

@Sherbet - haha I certainly wouldn't suggest trying to read and listen at the same time! That would be incredibly difficult! Although it might be cool to hear some of the distinct parts musically in line with some of the writing! I'm glad you enjoyed the fight scenes though.

I'm gonna get on and start the workshop soon I think, something fun for members to get stuck into :)

Offline Aozora

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Re: Balthazar the Fury
« Reply #16 on: July 04, 2016, 11:19:10 AM »
Absolutely great work here NO1SEY!! You've received a lot of praise for the writing/imagery aspect, as deserved of course, but I was more impressed by the storytelling aspect of it and the themes and talking points that were addressed. I think the idea of how ego, pride, desires for fame and glory can cloud our judgement and send us down the wrong path was superbly portrayed. Well done man. Looking forward to seeing how/if this connects to your main story and for any more backstories.

Also a side note: Balthazar reminds me of Mordekaiser from League of Legends
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Check out my stories here: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=12492.msg213349#msg213349

Offline Echo_River

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Re: Balthazar the Fury
« Reply #17 on: July 04, 2016, 12:09:27 PM »
I really enjoyed reading this story, No1sey. Loved how well it flowed and how you related the songs to each part. Like the others said, the imagery, description in battles were amazing. I particularly liked this line - "It’s orange eyes faded, like dying suns in the abyss, as they fell away."

Also can't get over how cool Balthazar's attacks are haha. Fire and weapons together wowwie.
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Offline NO1SY

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Re: Balthazar the Fury
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2016, 04:51:02 AM »
Thank you, you two. The compliments mean a lot, although on a read-through a few days later, I'm not so sure they are deserved... but hey, you're always your own harshest critic and what-not...


@Aozora - I can't really claim too much credit for the themes explored here. Parkway Drive take quite this political and anti-dystopian stance in a lot of their songs, so the themes from the songs really set the tone for the story itself.

As for looks, I was always imagining some sort of cross between War from Darksiders and War from this artwork (Far right):
Spoiler

Although Mord's not far off.


@Echo - That line is actually one I tweaked a bit from the lyrics, because I couldn't find the right place to use "Like new sun's shine through the abyss". So I cheated a little... but I'm glad you like it! Sometimes it pays to be transformative.

Yeah I've always had this thing - If I'm ever gonna have elemental super-powers, then they aren't just gonna be standard fire, water, earth, air... Plus thematically with the 4 Horsemen and stuff... great opportunity to expand a bit.[/size]