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Author Topic: Deltron X Prologue  (Read 990 times)

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Offline Xela Orion

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Deltron X Prologue
« on: May 18, 2016, 06:36:07 PM »
I probably should have done this from the beginning but oh well, here is the entire first arc of my story

Alex wakes up in the middle of a field unfamiliar to him.

           Alex Strauss
What the heck is this place? I know i just fell asleep but this dream feels different...

He walks forward and looks over a cliff. He sees a large village with a castle in the center. The castle is the only structure made of stone. The houses are made of wood that looks oddly metallic. There are large boat like battleships floating around the kingdom .

           Alex Strauss
 Woah, whatever this place is it sure looks weird

Alex makes his way down the cliff to be greated by a woman with silky long hair and radiant green eyes
       
         Vestia
Oh my son has returned!

 Vestia hugs alex tightly, alex hugs back awkwardly and confused

       Alex Strauss
Its uh, its good to see you (he plays along knowing it's a dream)

      Vestia
How me and your father awaited your return! Come now, lets go home

Vestia grabs alex by the hand and takes him through the village towards the castle. As they make their way through town they are greeted with parade like cheers, as if the entire village was waiting for them. They finally make into the castle, alex is greeted by a large, menacing man in dark blue armour lined with white fur. As the man towers over alex, he puts his hand forward. Alex grabs his hand for a handshake. The man shakes his hand violently making alex flail like a noodle, he is then pulled in for a hug, which smashes alex's face into his chest plate

        Cerberus
You've grown so much my boy. It's good to see you won't disappoint !
   
    Vestia
Dear!
   
    Cerberus
What? He'd make a great soldier! The best of the best!

     Vestia
But he has so much potential as a scholar. Especially with his passion for astronomy. He is a bright man and we know that will reflect his future. Isn't that right my little space man !

Vestia smiles brightly as Alex's face turns red from embarrassment

      ALEX STRAUSS
Hey! I'm not a little kid!

      Vestia
 I'm so sorry, you've just grown up so quickly! I wanted my hot tempered little boy back. Well it is getting late so we should be going to sleep

      Alex Strauss
How is it already getting late?  I've only been in here for like 3 minutes there's no way its night time

Alex walks to the front door and peeks outside only to see it is dark outside. He closes the door and turns around

      Alex Strauss
 (in a voice of defeat) so umm... Where's my room again?

      Vestia
 Its on the second floor,  first door to the left
      Alex Strauss
 Thank you

 Alex starts walking up stairs

      Vestia, Cerberus
Good night

      Alex Strauss
 (his voice echoes) goodnight

Alex gets in bed, he stares out the window and sees two moons

      Alex Strauss
(in his head) what the heck is this place? Its so wie-

He loses control of his body and wakes up in his apartment. The alarm clock is screeching, Alex looks at the time and sees it's 7:40

      Alex Strauss
HOLY CRAP IM GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!

He jumps out of bed and dives into his closet, he comes out in a black hoodie, black jeans, and white sneakers. He runs through the apartment, catapults his backpack over his shoulder and bolts to his motorcycle. He quickly starts up the bike, puts on his helmet and hurries off .

Alex rushes into class just as the late bell rings.
 
    Alex Struass
 (breathing heavily) made it!

 The class room stares at alex as he's sluggishly makes his way to his desk. A girl with bright blue eyes and stunning blonde hair tied into a pony tail and a boy with bright messy red hair and grey eyes greet alex.

    Acacias
Hey alex!

    Rei
Sup dude? you look dead!

   Alex Strauss
Hey guys (he catches his breath) i woke up super late and had to run from the entrance

    Rei
HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!? THERE'S ATLEAST 3 SETS OF STAIRS AND 2 HALLWAYS YOU HAVE TO TAKE TO GET HERE!

    Alex Strauss
I ran through ALL of it (he collapses on his desk and naps)

    Rei
Dude wake up (he shakes alex), (in a dramatic joking voice) Dont go into the light!

    Acacias
(smacks rei on the back of the head lightly) just let him sleep! He's obviously had a rough morning.

Alex's eyes open, he's submerged in pitch black water, he hears rei and acacias arguing then a voice he's never heard before.

     Mysterious voice
 We've been waiting young bishop.

Alex panics and tries to swim away from the growing darkness but drowns in it. Alex wakes up in his bed in the castle. Vestia walks with a satchel and goggles.

     Vestia
You sure like to sleep dont you? Well we found your bag in the field and i thought id give it back to you. You can go back to sleep now.

she puts his satchel off to the side of the room, closes the door then walks away.

     Alex Strauss
(in his head) something isnt right, why am i back here again, arent dreams always different? Also how do these people know me so well... and why do i have memories of this place..

Alex gets out of his bed and grabs his satchel and goggles, he puts both on and walks out of the room and makes his way out of the castle.

     Alex
The forest... There's something there for me...
     
    Vestia
Alex where are you going? you just got back!

     Alex Strauss
Sorry, i have to get something.

     Vestia
(in her head) has he found out already?

Alex is running through the city, he grabs a map from the satchel and sees areas highlighted, he puts his Finger on one of the areas.

     Alex Strauss
Its here, i know it!

Alex puts the map back in his satchel and continues running. He ends up on a river bank, he then makes a raft and paddle and sails off. It's night now, the moonlight is covered by all the trees surrounding the river, alex barely reached land, in front of him lies what seems like the ruins of an old stone structure, nature won over the material as most of what was left was covered in vegetation and weeds. Alex finds a slab with an odd symbol on it, he has his doubts about inspecting it but chooses to anyway.

    Alex Strauss
This stone... It almost feels like metal.

A small blue wisp leaves the slab, alex is regretful of his decision and steps back as the wisp encircles his hand, it then slashes his hand and goes inside the cut

    Alex Strauss
GAAHH! crap!

Alex cries out in pain and holds his hand, the pain instantly leaves, as alex lifts his hands, he sees not only that the cut is gone but that the same symbol thats on the slab is now on his hand. alex picks up on the sound of footsteps and immediately turns to it, a shadowy figure slowly approaches alex.

    Shadow man
Hey, calm down im not gonna hurt ya'.

    Alex Strauss
(keeping his guard up) who are you?

    Shadow Man
Thats not important, whats important is that im gonna help you and in a way you're gonna help me

    Alex Strauss
(still hesitant) and how does that help?

   Shadow Man
Don't you think i would've attacked already if i was out for you?

   Alex Strauss
I guess i could trust you...

The man puts his hand on alex's forehead alex is confused as his body suddenly spasms. He is helpless, his eyes roll back and his mouth begins to foam. The man then takes his hand of alex's head, letting him lay lifeless. The man then puts two fingers on his own head.

    Shadow Man
Its done but he's out cold. We're at the fuuygah ruins. Sorry but things got messy during the transfer..

    Cerberus
(in the man's head) it's fine as long as he's alright... Ill send some people now.

     Shadow Man
Roger that.

The man slowly begins to fade away.
 
     Shadow Man
Sorry kiddo, i really mean it...

The man fades away completely. Alex is immediately waken up in his class room. He sits up quickly, as if he was startled by something.

     Alex Strauss
Guys?? How long has it been?

     Acacias
It's only been a couple of minutes. Did you have a nightmare? You look really stressed.

    Alex Strauss
I guess you can say that...

    Acacias
Aww (she pats his shoulder) well everything's ok now.

    Rei
Dude?!?! Was there a monster??, i bet if i was there we could of taken that thing on no sweat! It'd be just monster mash!

Alex remembers thats the game he plays online with rei and smirks lightly.

    Alex Strauss
Haha yeah.. I bet we could have.

Alex goes through the day without speaking of the odd dreams and makes his way back home. He is still convinced that the dreams are normal.

Alex finds himself back at in the castle, except this time something's different, more then what was expect, he can feel the atmosphere, the wind that poured in from the window, the ray of sunlight illuminating his room and even weirder, he felt his phone in his pocket. Alex had never been able to bring his belongings with him into his dreams. He reaches for it and sees that he has a message from Rei

   Rei's message
Hey bro you still up? There's a raid boss even on monster mash you should get on, we could really use you!

  Alex
What the hell.....?

Alex ignores the message thinking its fake. He is then greeted by a familiar man, someone he remembers but doesn't exactly know

   Merrick
We need to talk

   Alex
(quickly becoming confused) Who are you?

   Merrick
(with a saddened face) thats right.... My name is Merrick Gideon

   Alex
Well Mr Gideon, what do you want with me

   Merrick
Cerberus and Vestia ordered me to go through your satchel and i found your studies, im here to teach you the full extent of your abilities

   Alex
Who the heck are they?

   Merrick
(he is slightly annoyed)...they're the one's who found you in the first place

   Alex
Oooohhh

   Merrick
Anyways...lets get back to the subject, im here to train you as much as possible

    Alex
Sounds good to me i guess

Alex and Merrick leave the room and go into a training room like area, there are wooden weapons sitting in the corner and some test dummies almost strategically placed around the room. Merrick tosses him a necklace with a dark blue crystal attached to it.

   Merrick
Put it on, it'll bring out your soul

Alex puts on the on the necklace, the ground begins to shake. An immense power is felt throughout the room, merrick is astonished by the amount of power given off by alex. Alex is then encased in a pillar of blue fire. The fire and the energy slowly calm down until the pillar is completely gone. Alex stares at his fist, clenching it as blue fire emerges from his hand

   Alex
I feel...powerful

   Merrick
(in complete amazement) I knew you had talent, but that was not what i expect. (he collects himself) alright, what you just saw is magic, specifically, elementalism

   Alex
Elementalism?

   Merrick
You see magic is a manifestation of the soul, a person's soul determines which magic he or she will specialize in, elementalism is magic so powerful, it can use an element to its purest form and will take its form in coherence with the user's soul. Though there many forms of magic, elementalism only covers the basic elements, you know? Fire, Ice, Water and Earth

   Alex
Wait but ice isnt a core element, isn't it technically water?

   Merrick
Yes, ice is water but conjuring ice and water take two different types of training, so they're categorized as two different types

   Alex
Ooh i see

   Merrick
Alright kid let's start training. (Merrick pulls out a leaf from his pocket) You're first task is to burn this leaf, but only this leaf (he seats it on the ground)

   Alex
That's easy

Alex puts his hand out but nothing happens

   Alex
So how does this work?

  Merrick
Just imagine the flow of energy moving from your heart to your hands, when the energy reaches your hands, put strain it

Alex closes his eyes and imagines the flow, he follows merrick instructions and feels heat in his hands, he then shoots a fireball out of his hands and reduces the leaf to ash

   Alex
I did it! (he smiles in accomplishment)

   Merrick
Thats good, you got the basics, now we just work on control, remember i said burn only the leaf, not the floor too.

Before merrick could start the next lesson, a man walks in and asks to speak to him

   Merrick
Alright, thats it for now, be ready for tomorrow

Merrick then leaves the room, alex feels his phone go off again and sees another of Rei's messages

   Rei's message
Hey again, not sure if you're up or not but if u are im not gonna be online anymore, im getting really tired so goodnight bro

Alex looks up from his phone and sees stone tabs on the floor, they have a weird writing on them, curious of the writing he takes a picture of it with his phone, he is then quickly sucked back into his apartment with his phone in his hand. With hesitation he unlocks his phone only to be freaked out by what he sees, the stone tablets picture, saved to his phone. Knowing about Rei's skill of topography he sends Rei the pictures and waits for a response.

Alex finally gets a response from rei.

 Rei’s message
Dude why didn't you tell me you got on last night? I really could've used your help clearing a dungeon i'm stuck on!

 Alex texts back.

 Alex
Dude i wasn't on last night… i didn't know where i was at all.. Never mind that i need to know if you'd be able to read that or translate it, they kinda look like the runes from monster mash so i thought you'd have a shot at it.

As Alex waits for Rei to respond he gets ready for school and contemplates on his little adventures he's had in the dreams.

    Alex
Man wouldn't this be a crazy story to tell everyone?

He leaves to school and talks to acacias and rei about the dreams.

   Acacias
Wow, That's a weird dream!

  Alex
Yeah, what's weirder about it is I've been in the same place in my dreams at least 3 times now and i wouldn't doubt the possibility of ending up there again

   Rei
Dude...we could make the best movie ever! No no wait! The best mmo!

  Alex
(him and acacias laugh a little) Only you would be thinking about mmo’s right now
 
  Rei
Also i deciphered the text on the picture you gave me (acacias peeks at rei in curiosity), well in the language in Monster Mash, it just says either crystals, where were you when you got the pic anyway?

   Alex
That's still pretty interesting and well i found the picture online (alex hoped his lie would work)

   Rei
Ahhh i see what you dude, online to much last night i see? (rei assumes alex had ended up on an unknown website when he said he didn't know where he was)

 Alex
Haha yeah i guess so.

The class ends and the three say good bye, alex gets by the rest of the school day and when he gets home, he's completely drained and decides to take a nap. He's wakes up in the castle again. He gets dressed and walks out his room and down the stairs only to be greeted by merrick again

 Merrick
Hey kiddo. Ready for the next lesson?
 
 Alex
Yeah actually, i've been looking forward to it! (he finally lets his sense of adventure take over)

 Merrick
Alright then follow me

Merrick walks out the door and alex follows. They end up in an empty field, merrick stares at alex's hand before speaking

  Merrick
Thats an interesting design on your right hand, how'd you get it?

  Alex
I uhh just kinda got it haha (he laughs nervously)

  Merrick
Nice try kid, i'm not stupid. But it seems like you don't even know what it is so ill teach you. Put your right hand out

Alex follows Merrick's orders

  Merrick
Now repeat after me, i summon thee, sword of the starry heavens!

  Alex
I summon thee, sword of the starry heavens!

The symbol on alex's hand begins to glow a dark blue, then a great sword materializes into alex's hand.

  Alex
Thats awesome! (alex plays with the sword) why's it so light?

  Merrick
You made a blood pact with it, there for the spirit of this blade is one with yours, it'll be easy for you to handle but near impossible for others. Also it has a name, Zodiac Chaser

  Alex
Zodiac Chaser… how did it get that name?

  Merrick
There's a legend of a group of Warriors known as the constellation, they were the guardians of an ancient council known as the council of light, fearing their power would drive them mad, the councilmen crafted this sword to latch on to one who is pure of heart, this person would be given the task of defeating the constellation once the time has come

  Alex
(scared) what the heck?!?!? How the hell am i supposed to beat them?!?!

  Merrick
Calm down it's just a legend.

  Alex
(slowly calming down) Oh man, you had me worried there for a second.

  Merrick
Back to the training, for today's lesson i'll show y-...  we've got company.

In the blink of an eye merrick turn around and sees two shadowy figures, instead of there colors coming to light, an intense orange emerges from their eyes and claws. The glare of the bright orange eyes frightens alex.

  Alex
What the hell are they?!?!

  Merrick
Darkness....they're just grunts anyway. Well i was gonna teach you to use the sword on some dummy's but this is the next best thing, get em!

Alex regretfully charges in and starts swinging the sword with both hands, as well as dodging all the enemy's hits

  Merrick
You look to stiff, try to loosen up!

Alex thinks about it and tries using one hand to swing and the other to block. It works great, alex advances on the grunts

  Alex
Woah! I feel awesome

Getting to cocky, alex messes up while dodging and gets cut by one of the grunts
 
  Merrick
Kid, switch out!

Alex jumps back and lets merrick into the fight. Merrick rushes the two grunts with a volley of electrified strikes

  Merrick
Tempest Strike!

  Alex
(in his head) a special move?.. Is this guy a video game character or something?

The grunts fall onto the floor and shatter into what appears to be glass that soon evaporate

  Alex
Are they dead..?

  Merrick
No, you can't die outside your own dimension.

Before alex gets the chance to ask a large monster looms over them and speaks

  Monster
Very good young bishop, but can you fight without your guard dog?

  Alex
What the hell do you me-

Alex drops to floor and wakes up back at his apartment. It's night now, He's confused and scared. Alex then runs out to the balcony and looks over the city. He's relieved to see everything's peaceful, his face turns from relieved to worried

  Alex
I don't what's gonna happen...but i know it won't be good.


Alex is unable to sleep the rest of the night, he sluggishly gets out of bed, gets dressed and leaves the apartment to get to school, everything's fine. Alex makes his way to class, acacias and rei see him, he's a mess. He's slumping his shoulders and has bags under his eyes.
 
  Acacias
Alex are you ok..? Are the dreams getting to you?

  Rei
Yeah are you alright dude? You look more dead then the first time.

  Alex
I'm fine guys, just couldn't sleep.

Alex couldn't believe his eyes, two grunts broke down the door to his classroom. Alex, Rei and Acacias get up in fear.

  Acacias and Rei
What the hell are those things?!?!

  Alex
Darkness grunts, (alex faces the grunts) what the hell are you doing here?

  Grunt one
(it gasps) young bishop?! What are you doing here with these insects?!?!

The name clicked in alex head as he remembered it wasnt the first time he was called that.

  Alex
Young bishop…. Ahh i get.

Alex looks down and sees zodiac chaser’s mark on his hand. He then smirks and puts his hand forward.

 Alex
I summon thee, sword of the starry heavens! (as the sword appears he slashes through the two grunts) Zodiac Chaser!

Acacias and Rei watch in astonishment.

 Rei
Dude.. You have to show me how the do that some time!

  Alex
I will but for now i gotta find out what's going on, because i shouldn't be able to do this…

Alex, Acacias, and Rei storm out of the building and what they see petrifies them, the sky's a deep scarlet, portals are emerging from everywhere, the city is overrun with grunts. The invasion has begun. More grunts storm in after alex, he charges at them as well and swings with all his might, cutting through almost all of the grunts except one which managed to dodge in time, it tries to hit alex from behind, before alex has the time to move his arms, Rei jumps in and hits the grunt in the head with a pipe. Rei’s attitude completely changes almost as if his usual laid back nature was a fa?ade, he speaks demanding and without slang.

  Rei
I have no idea what's happening but i'm gonna at least try to help

  Alex
Good to see you're focused

  Acacias
(cuts in) there's more coming in

A full platoon of grunts walk in but stop several feet in front of alex, they then split up into two groups with an opening in the middle. Standing there is a tall man in robes

  Zasahmel
Allow me to introduce myself, i am the great darkness general zasahmel. You may ask yourself why such an upper class of beings are here with you sub-par garbage, well it's simple, we want the boy with the brown hair. Our bishop

  Alex
No way in hell are you getting me! I don't care how much i have to give up but i'm not giving in to you bastards! This is my world, these are my people, and you'll hurt none of them!

Alex charges in to attack but zasahmel floats up

  Zasahmel
What a shame, this would have gone a lot easier. Get him!

All the grunts attack alex at once, he has trouble maneuvering around the massive group but he manages to fight. One of the grunts sneaks up on alex and claws his stomach, he coughs up blood but the pain give him more incentive to fight, alex bursts through the horde in a frenzy of flame. Zasahmel gets down and stares at alex

  Zasahmel
If you're so eager to die ill make it quick!

He leaps at alex but alex is quicker and block with his sword. Fire emerges from his right hand and punches zasahmel in the stomach, blowing him back a couple of feet. Zasahmel gets and stares down alex angrily

  Zasahmel
How does a worm like you know any type of magic?! And furthermore how can you damage m-

 Alex
Shut up! (alex charges in and punches him again) i don't know what i'm doing nor do i give a damn about how low i am to you, it doesn't matter if you're stronger then me, all i know is you're not winning today

 Zasahmel
Damn Cretan!

Zasahmel summons his own sword and goes to attack alex. The two lock sword for a while, each landing hits from time to time. Alex is slouched, fatigued and bleeding. Zasahmel is a little cut up but stands properly.

  Zasahmel
All that heroic blabbering for this? Though ill give credit where it's due, you were an interesting adversary at best.

Zasahmel stabs alex in the stomach, Rei and acacias watch in shock. Alex grabs the blade in his stomach and slowly pushes it out, he then looks zasahmel in the eyes.

  Alex
I'm not going down that easily!

Alex swings his sword with what little strength he has left and cuts off zasahmel’s arm. They both move back, alex takes the sword out of his stomach painfully. Before the fighting continued, a bolt of lightning landed between the two. It's merrick, he emerges from the lightning bolt and charges zasahmel.

  Merrick
Tempest Strike!

Zasahmel is pushed back, he then starts to flee.

  Zasahmel
Damn you ishtarian! This isn't over!

Zasahmel teleports. A siren goes off alerting all soldiers to retreat. They had won. Acacias and rei run to the wounded alex, he looks at them both.

  Alex
Heh...i'm not gonna make it..

  Acacias
Don't say that you'll be fine!

Rei is too choked up trying to hold back his tears to speak. Alex smiles brightly and hugs them both.

  Alex
Sorry we can't go on anymore adventures rei...sorry we can't get to go to the park anymore acacias…but atleast you guys are safe…

Alex falls over with a smile on his face as his eyes close. Rei finally breaks and cries, he falls to his knees and punches the ground hard.

  Rei
I was useless! All i did was freeze up and let him do the fighting! I probably couldn't have done anything but i could've tried damnit!

Acacias holds Rei as they cry together. Merrick looks at alex's lifeless body. He kneels and puts a clear crystal over alex's chest. He too is in tears.

Acacias and Rei watch the crystal fill with a dark blue tint, once filled, Merrick picks up the crystal and opens a portal and walks away. Acacias looks at Rei and wipes her tears.

  Acacias
He saved us...he actually did it.

  Rei
I wouldn't expect anything less…

He breaks back into tears. Another portal opens, merrick steps out with a cross-shaped box almost as large as him. He put the box down and opens it. What's inside shocks rei and acacias. There's a body of a familiar man in the box. merrick places the crystal onto the body's chest and watches it become absorbed. Acacias and Rei look at the man dumbfounded.

Acacias and Rei
A…..Alex?!

As if those words triggered existence into him, the man's eyes open widely
« Last Edit: June 03, 2016, 01:47:03 AM by Xela Orion »

Offline Fortis Scriptor

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Re: Deltron X Prologue
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2016, 09:23:53 AM »
Alright before I even read this I'm just going to give you one tip and one question. First the tip (bow chicka bow wow) you're going to want to put a summary of what in the name of Jesus Tentacle Hentai Christ I'm looking at here. And now the question What in the name of Jesus Tentacle Hentai Christ is going on in this story and where in the name of Jesus Tentacle Hentai Christ is this story happening. Alright I've read through it, and I can say that it seems pretty good but I do have a couple of thoughts and questions. First off I feel like this is more of a summarized version of your first chapter/episode/ you get the bloody point what I'm getting at here. Either that or you're rushing a wee bit dialogue especially. As I said though it's a good start and I'm also going to make a guess here that you may also be an artist? could be wrong but hey. Anyway moving forward your story has potential, seems like a mind screwingly fun or scary story that will make an epic manga or web comic or hell maybe even a full on anime one of these days. It was a pleasure to read it and if you have any questions or want me to read more of it just send me a pm and if not then I will at least be on the look out for the next installment of this work in progress. I'm also always open to giving writing advice on the more technical level.

Offline Xela Orion

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Re: Deltron X Prologue
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2016, 01:24:13 AM »
Thank you for the feed back i really appreciate it. Yeah this was kind of a prototype script for the first 2-3 chapters (still figuring out the sectiong). I have a more updated script with some dialogue Added into to make the story transition a bit better and to give some more in sight into things, though that will most likely not be released due to the fact that i have actually found an artist and we are current drawing out the first chapter so imma just wait and post that page by page on a thread here