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Author Topic: The Manimal's Art  (Read 7672 times)

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Offline suupertramp

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #15 on: June 13, 2016, 10:43:45 AM »
pretty good poses when they are holding the microphone, and good layout. i dont really like music based comics and dont know much about music so no comment on the feedback :P
but if something is buzzing like you used the BUZZ sound word, you could make the word itself buzz by using a style of lettering that is shaky and spikey, sort of like what you did but more spikey everywhere, like its electricity. just a thought :P

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #16 on: June 13, 2016, 10:55:56 AM »
Lego, I haven't seen Beck. This is a goofy thing, the whole point is everybody sucks and the only reason they come together is because they can't play with anyone else, so they just sort of deal with each other. Right now it's just the two characters but you know how these go. Well I'm using my own reference pictures for this one so I gotta make all these dumb poses. It's fun though, the guitars are pretty hard but everything else is fun so far. Also yes I plan to use songs I know all on instruments to show things in a technical sense. "Rip It Up" is hard for this because it's more about the rhythm section, and there is also a bassist and a gutiarist who isn't even playing in this first part so there isn't much to show other then the singing.

Suuper, ya I could get more fancy with that. I don't know what sound effects to use for feedback because it kinda sounds like shrieking or droning or...I dunno. It's hard to display music things in a comic form but it's a challenge worth taking on, I'm just trying to show that he's bad at singing (as indicated by the notes twisting up in the last page) and he can't play guitar and sing at the same time.

Offline suupertramp

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2016, 12:15:42 PM »
yeah experimentation can lead to good results. keep trying and develop your own style :P
the messed up notes were good :P

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2016, 04:34:47 PM »
Page 4. It's hard to tell from the tab but he is playing a crappy guitar solo in this part that goes all over. The x's in this context mean he is sloppily hitting whatever strings he feels like. Also some of his strings are out of tune as seen by the notes on the side.

Spoiler

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #19 on: June 14, 2016, 03:10:25 PM »
Page 5. Kind of meh, I think I could frame some of this better.

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #20 on: June 14, 2016, 03:16:50 PM »
Disaster is imminent.

The actions are really clear and easy to see. Like the panelling too. Good stuff Manimal

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #21 on: June 15, 2016, 06:35:01 AM »
Page 6. The first part of scene 1 is done!

So a couple of things, my way of doing this is flawed as coming up with solid designs earlier would've been a good idea. Also the room is pretty bare but I feel that can be a plot point for later. Doing comics this way is fun because when you improvise you don't think "ugh 28 pages left" you just take it in sections instead which makes it much easier. I'm thinking this will be a good comic to ink, the instruments will be super tough but it could be good line practice, to get them looking good.

I feel I should stylize a bit more as I'm just drawing in "copy the reference" mode. It might be clear which shots are referenced here and which aren't. I'm getting a tad bit impatient because I want to introduce everybody, but I should take my time with these two first.

So here it is.

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Offline NO1SY

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #22 on: June 15, 2016, 12:53:51 PM »
Hey dude, just want to chip in and say that I love the way this "goofy" little comic is coming along. It's cool that you are improvising this too, although it can be difficult winging a full story and strip in one go...

In response to the comment about the framing on page 5, I'd say that when something is happening in quick succession - like the amp cable being ripped from the socket and walking the MC in the face - it feels better pacing-wise if the frames are smaller and side by side usually. This just has to do with the way people learn to read and the way we process pages we are looking at. Small and next to each other = quick scan left to right or right to left and everything in those panels gets looked at and processed quickly. they don't have to be less detailed, just maybe more compact - there is lots of blank space in that second panel. Anyways just some composition stuff to think about for the future. I really like the framing of the bottom half of the page though - super funky and a bit messy like the situation!

Another note to do with the composition is that it's great to sometimes draw an image without a frame that kinda overlaps with others. Like in page 2 when the MC is in his power stance I think that could really do with being the main focus of the page, so if the second panel was moved to the bottom of the page/into a corner and the MC was drawn panel-less right in the middle of the whole page kinda super-imposed so it's almost in front of everything else, I think that effect would be awesome. It's something that Manga does amazingly well compared to Western comics and really makes pages and compositions more interesting and more focused.

And lastly about stylisation... this isn't stylised? I don't see anyone else drawing like you do!??!?!

Anyhow good work dude, keep it up!

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #23 on: June 15, 2016, 01:23:29 PM »
Thanks for the comment!

Yes it's sometimes iffy to improv but I find I can get through a comic better if I take it part by part. Plus it's a lot more fun as well.

I see what you mean, ya perhaps big panels where not suited for that as they are very rapid actions. The second panel could've been split into two. I'm always trying to work on cool framing, but my approach with this so far has been pretty standard past page 2. I agree on the second as well, that would've made it pop more since it's a full body shot.

Well I suppose so, the expressions atleast. I was just thinking the way I draw people doesn't have much style but that's something to work on. I like it this way anyway, the faces lend themselves to ridiculous expressions pretty well, I just have to work on fundamentals more.

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #24 on: June 15, 2016, 07:02:49 PM »
Pages 7,8 & 9.

Meh, lots of mistakes here and things I could've done better. The guy looks different in every frame.

Spoiler

Featured song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9BLw4W5KU8

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #25 on: June 15, 2016, 08:30:50 PM »
Page 10

At this point the improv is becoming an issue. Not coming up with a good resolution or anything to a scene like this and then writing dialogue off the top of my head just doesn't work all the time. But this is really just to stay productive more then anything so ya...

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Offline suupertramp

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #26 on: June 16, 2016, 12:09:49 PM »
wow coming along really nicely, and well done for keeping up such a good pace as well, its hard to keep churning out pages like that :P
story is quite interesting so far, and sort of funny as well.

regarding this page:
Spoiler
-good work on backgrounds, but your diagonal split panels are quite hard to orientate myself, its hard to instantly know where the ground is. i would recommend even if the panel has diagonal borders, draw your panels aligned vertically.

how that i look at it, one panel in the split reads one way, and the other panel reads diagonally the other way, so you have to twists your head twice to read/look at it.
also, on a completely diagonal split, i dont know which panel to read first. see my drawing which explains a bit better perhaps:
Spoiler

of course, drawing a panel at an angle is not wrong, i think it just didnt work in that instance with the diagonal split at the same time.
well done so far, and i look forward to reading more, even though i typically dont like music manga :P

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #27 on: June 16, 2016, 01:44:24 PM »
Thanks for commenting. Ya I'm trying to do 2 pages a day or as much as I can, I did 4 yesterday to cover for today if I can't do anything.

I see what you mean, that was a pretty odd choice of framing, it's a trick I did in the first page as well where I split the panel, did it straight on the first and on a 90 degree angle for the next one.

I do think your confusion with reading is only something that might mess with someone who reads manga though. Because if you think of it it being in a comic and you like, move your eyes from the last page or flip, you would look at the left corner first, but if it was manga it would be a bit confusing perhaps in the placement of panels.

Maybe, I dunno, I can only see it how I see it you know! Naturally everything makes sense to me!

Offline legomaestro

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #28 on: June 16, 2016, 04:23:20 PM »
10 Pages! Yikes!

Haha things went badly for him from the start. I wonder if she hung around so long because she saw potential in him or is a good friend?

I think the panel of him falling to his knees could work better with him looking shocked in the face, or some motion lines for him hitting the floor.

The camera tilt page is weird... Because it time skips to him singing. I think if it were a full page it'd show the impact of his despair or something haha. Or maybe before the him singing panel it'd show him tuning the guitar before he goes in.

Love the expressions, and your background jutsus really do fill out the pages. Nice work Manimal. Keep it up

Offline Manimal

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Re: The Manimal's Art
« Reply #29 on: June 16, 2016, 09:10:22 PM »
Ya that was a lot of weird and fast framing!

Speaking of fast cuts, page 11!

Spoiler

Featured song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqvIplzjH1Y