April 21, 2018, 01:43:59 AM

------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Poll

Who is Best Girl?

Yoko
Isabella
Aika
Izanami
Tsukiakari
Shoku Twins
Shinju
Rei
Kagutsuchi
Amatsutsuki
Hima
Annabel
Carmilla

Author Topic: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)  (Read 35402 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline IndecisiveChild

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #360 on: September 12, 2017, 04:18:39 PM »
This is an awesome read with anime vibe and I can definitely see it play in my head, I'm gonna have to binge read all the arcs😁.  Waku waku💜
A joureny of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #361 on: September 12, 2017, 08:01:25 PM »
Thank you, I appreciate it! I commend anyone who manages to binge read this long, depressing tale  :ninja:

Anyway, I've been busy making a few adjustments here.
-The front page arc navigation is no longer a bloody mess. Links snap you right to the start of each arc
-Added Senkumo War Stories to the arc navigation
-If you haven't already been able to tell, I finally got around to doing some major reconstruction on the rather lackluster arc Letting Go. Much more depth being added to Rousoku's part of the story, as well as adding stories focused on Amatsutsuki and
-Will soon add the extra chapters for Inari Standoff to this thread, just so you don't have to go somewhere else to read them

Also just now realizing that Senkumo War Stories is 63 chapters long in totality  :ninja: By comparison, Dawn and Dusk was 20/21 chapters, Inari Standoff was 27, and The End of Osamu Ashikaga was around 42 or something like that. Geez...

« Last Edit: September 13, 2017, 03:08:38 AM by OhGodHelpMe »

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #362 on: September 15, 2017, 03:21:10 AM »

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #363 on: September 22, 2017, 05:03:57 AM »
Re-Worked Letting Go Rousoku Finale

The finale to Rousoku's part of Letting Go was originally pretty trash, but hopefully this greatly improves things and nails the helpless misery this part of the story is supposed to capture  :hmm: If having your ex lover explode into a tidal wave of blood, bone, and organs ain't enough....

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #364 on: October 05, 2017, 04:48:53 PM »
Ring a ding ding, folks. I know keeping up with this story can be tough on MR. So, if you're just starting out on Aika Crisis, this PDF is for you! Hopefully this makes it a little easier. I'll be doing the same to War Cloud and all the other arcs, though that may take me another year to complete. Don't even get me started on the 63 chapter titan that is Senkumo War Stories  >:(

Enjoy

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #365 on: October 20, 2017, 10:42:21 PM »
.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2017, 12:33:27 AM by OhGodHelpMe »

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #366 on: November 23, 2017, 03:16:18 AM »
This was meant to be posted after Amatsutsuki's and the Shoku Twins's stories, but as I've been unable to write anything for over a month, I figured you could just have this until the rest is up


https://youtube.com/watch?v=LWQeAaWKELY

Rousoku's Final Message To Osamu
Spoiler


....

....

"Moving on." That was my fate as a wandering spirit. Our ilk die with regret nested deep within our hearts, our anger and agony tethering us to the earth. This tragic state of existence is our own fault. My own fault. I committed suicide and wound up in Kyoto, as if some force of nature was at work to bound our fates together just one more time. Yours and mine.

You get it now, don't you? Yes, I know you know. I was a wandering ghost, but my existence came to its second end that scarlet night, the coastline baptized in my blood. Osamu...I'm finally home.

But you...my god...what has become of you? You may not be dead, but you linger around like a ghost. You've become me, and that's the last thing I would ever wish for. My phantom has already been laid to rest. So why is it that I'm still with you? Why am I even writing these words?

Yes...

You understand. You've always known. The phantom you carry with you, the specter you've declared as a symbol of your punishment...it's not real. I'm not real. All of the ghosts you carry with you, we're all just pieces of your broken, weary heart. Your torment, Osamu, is partly an illusion. And it is torment that you do not deserve.

I know what emotions coil and slither around you. I know your agony. But no matter how many days you spend bedridden, no matter how much ash you consume, no matter how fiercely you hate and destroy yourself, your punishment will never bring me back to life. Rousoku Hinawari, your former lover, is dead. And she will never return to you.

Deep below all of that anger, that vexation, the sorrow and pain....I know what emotion truly lies at the bottom of your heart.

Let it out, Osamu.

Let it free. Let it sing and cry, wail and scream. And at last, at long last, forgive yourself. Blow the candle out, let the smoke rise into the night sky, and be at peace.

Though our memories together are interwoven with bitter sadness and resentment, there are still so many happy, beautiful moments. You don't have to look back in anger or anguish. You don't have to reminisce with a heart burdened by guilt. Fate brought us back together for a reason. It tested us, reshaped us into something more than our previous selves of yesterday. If we hadn't met again after all those years, I'd still be wandering the world, lost and alone.

I am gone, and I am finally at peace. It's time for you to do the same, Osamu. And so, this ghost of a ghost shall disappear for good, until the day when you too are chosen to cross over to the other shore, when your cinders and ash join the soil with mine.

Until then, seek peace, Osamu. Seek comfort. It's okay for you to live. It's okay for you to mourn. I know it will take time, but time is the surest anodyne for your pain.

It's time for this candle's flame to be blown out. I think I know exactly what I want my parting words to you to be.

Osamu...

Rejoice!

For it's time...

To let it all go.


Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18611
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #367 on: November 26, 2017, 12:28:05 PM »
Review for Day 18
1. [That day...Aika's birthday. When I woke up beside Isabella in bed, it was raining. Not just some kind of 'thin clouds and 20 minutes of rain' kind of rain either. It was a real storm. Looking at the calendar, I realized it was already September. The fall equinox was just right around the corner. So, in essence...it was like the storm that declared that summer was over.]

- You have a knack for introducing scenes. Whether it was prose or a screenplay the reader/stage director/ artist/ animator has a clear scene of what everything looks like. So good stuff.

2. Osamu and Isabella watched the rain from their bedroom window, both of them sharing the blanket for warmth.
- I want to share a blanket with an Isabella-chan one day.

3. (Not good! I think that rumor about girls becoming more amorous during the colder seasons is true!)
- Wait is that true? *Scribbles down notes*

4. Isabella: Ah, I know what you're thinking. Don't think I don't mister!
- Wait, honestly not sure. Isn't mister always supposed to be capitalized?

5. Isabella: Calm down, horn dog. It's not true for every girl. Now, personally, I do get more of an urge to kiss and cuddle during this season.
* Sighs and tears out page, tosses notes.

6. (I don't know if I can handle where this is going...)
- We both know you're not going to do anything in the end Osamu! Bastard! You have all the chances but don't use them!

7. Isabella: I just want to find the biggest one possible and just let it release my tension, like a volcano finally erupting.
* reading intesifies

8. Isabella: Hmm? You didn't think I was going all Betty Dodson on you, right? I'm not that dirty! You know that! In fact, I'd argue I'm as pure as the rain.
- I'd google what Betty Dodson is, but I'm smarter than that *opens incognito tab*

9. Aika took a few moments of silence to make her wish and then proceeded to blow out the candles. Every one clapped as all 20 of the candles were extinguished with just one blow. It was truly impressive.
*That is some impressive lung capacity.

10. ...Thank you for caring, and thank you for doing this. And Osamu...
(Huh? She's addressing me?)
Aika: I love you, and I forgive you. I'm sorry for holding my grudge for so long.
- That was quite the speech

11. Aika had just finished sucking chocolate icing off of her finger as she spoke.
- Kawaii desu-nee!

12. Osamu turned his cheek for Aika to examine, only realizing he was tricked when she kissed his cheek instead.
- Hahaha! Lucky bastard!

13. Yoko and Isabella didn't mind the kiss so much, but it was the way their eyes locked after the kiss that troubled them both. It was the kind of stare that signified when two people rediscover each other.
- It felt odd, Osamu describing the kiss in a 3rd person perspective. If he'd described the eye lock himself and then their jealousy it'd flow better imo.

14. Isabella: Hey, you don't mind if I sleep naked tonight, right?
(Temptation!)
Osamu: I'd prefer if you kept your clothes on.
- face palm


15. (Today, my top brain was JFK, my bottom brain was the Soviet Union, and we narrowly avoided a nuclear strike on America...)
- Hahahaha

16. Aika: Which of us do you truly love?
- Oh wow now the plot thickens. You've finally been put on the spot. No hilarious shenanigans to get in the way, no nosebleeding here. Choose ye bastard, choose!!

17. The question hit Osamu like a bullet from a sniper rifle.
(I truthfully...don't know how to answer that question. What am I supposed to say to that? Ever since I got to spend time with all of them again, I remembered why I loved every one of them in the first place. Aika's no different...)
- Not good enough dammit!

18. Osamu: That's not fair...I didn't get to say anything.
- You weren't going to say anything though.

19. [... That's just how big her heart was. That cold season...it took Aika away from us.]
- No nothing bad happens to Aika otherwise I riot.

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #368 on: November 26, 2017, 06:29:09 PM »
“No nothing bad happens to Aika otherwise I riot”

YOU WILL GROW ATTACHED

AND YOU WILL LOSE EVERYTHING

OVER AND OVER AGAIN

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18611
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #369 on: November 29, 2017, 07:41:01 PM »
I swear to Haruhi if anything happens to Aika gaddamit.

Sadist!

Are you Urobochi!?

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #370 on: November 29, 2017, 07:45:12 PM »
I’d answer that, but I might spoil the series

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #371 on: December 04, 2017, 01:38:13 PM »
You know, there was actually supposed to be a 4th part to Senkumo War Stories. The Book of Phantoms. It takes place in the two month gap between the end of Betrayal and the start of Vengeance. Healing and preparing for her upcoming slaughter of Bishamon and his co-conspirators, Tsukiakari comes across the ghosts of her fallen comrades, all of them having taken dark or demonic form. They all try to kill their former commander, but not all of the ghosts and battles end up being real. Some of them were just guilt induced hallucinations.

It was going to be quite the ride through Tsukiakari’s emotions, as the ghosts that hunt her take on some pretty trippy forms meant to symbolize what they felt when they died. Even Mayumi and Ebina, with the latter apparently leading the spectral hunt against her. Taeko is the only ghost that isn’t vengeful, but Tsukiakari can’t figue out if she’s a real ghost or yet another mirage of sorrow.

In their final talk, Taeko tried to convince her that there are more emotions in her than hatred, more purposes for her than war and ceaseless conflict. There was so much more of the Senkuno clan to remember than just its tragic downfall. But of course, Tsukiakari refuses this and sticks to her path of carnage. Once all the Ghosts are Laid to rest, both real and hallucinations, she goes off to find Oyamatsumi to begin her massacre, tying in with the start of the Book of Vengeance

Buuuut that would’ve put the whole arc well over 100 chapters and I’m still not sure if I should write it. Anyone have any thoughts? Do you think it might flesh out the arc a little more?

Offline Operative13

  • Self-Proclaimed Writer and Anime Enthusiast
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1033
  • Writer of Caesarea
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #372 on: December 04, 2017, 02:45:15 PM »
The lack of words is a quality in of itself. That said, if you believe it would do things more justice, then by all means go for it  ;)
“To give of oneself is the noblest of all acts.”

Offline OhGodHelpMe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 733
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #373 on: December 05, 2017, 12:27:13 AM »
Yeah I probably will. The story does alright without it, but it will add just that extra layer of suffering. Gotta make the reader as miserable as possible lol I also left out a lot of battles and some homely happenings at the Senkumo mansions, but whatever. Even shaved down, the whole thing is still 60+ chapters

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18611
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« Reply #374 on: December 10, 2017, 04:57:23 PM »
Review for Day 19
1. Yoko: Do you love him?
Aika awoke early in the morning to those words. The rain was beating against the windows, but the black blinds shut out any light and made the room dark. Their backs were turned to each other in bed.
Aika: Yoko?
Yoko: I asked you if you loved him.
- Dun dun duuun.

2. Osamu: No way. Believe me, starting your day without breakfast is suicide!
- I beg to differ. Coffee is all a man needs.

3.
Aika: Izzy, you are crying!

Isabella: N-no! I-

Aika: Both you and Yoko! You're hurting by neither of you will be honest with me! You love Osamu, and so does Yoko! I should've thought more carefully before opening my mouth yesterday! I didn't consider your feelings, and I was being unbearably selfish. I thought, maybe I could be with him again, the first boy to show me what love was. But if I had recognized how hurtful it would've been to you-

- Yes. Will the problem with harems finally be addressed? Will they finally talk it out and figure out that this situation is not tenable? I mean, the hijinks are hilarious but come on gals, you've got to put this on the table and talk about this. School Days had a point really on how these sorts of things turn out. I'd like to be optimistic, but I really don't think Osamu knows how to commit to a single gal. Be free of him! *jealous rage*

4. Aika: I've looked at you every day for the past month and I know you don't feel that way in your heart! Both of you, your love shines beyond your eyes! You live and breathe for him, just like me!
- Wait Aika, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here, make them compete?

5. Yoko slapped Aika across the face, bloodying the inside of her mouth and knocking her on the floor.
- Well now.

6. Yoko: You're damned right it hurts. I gave you a home, food to eat, a place to sleep, and a love to take. You already know why I've been so calm about it. Before you even arrived here, before Osamu left this place, even before your mother died, you've always wanted to disappear, haven't you? Even now, you still feel that way! I gave you those things because I've had days where I didn't want to wake up too! I've been scorned, repudiated, and laughed at like some freak at a side show! That man was the first person to understand me, to smile at me while everyone else walked away! My life is not the one that's in danger, it's yours! I'd gladly sacrifice everything I have if it means someone who had to go through what I had to go through doesn't end up killing themselves! Isabella doesn't even know you wanted to die, but even she saw that you needed Osamu more than the both of us! She didn't want you to disappear!
- Aika was suicidal?

7. Aika: I fell. I'm pretty clumsy when I don't get enough sleep.
- Okay Osamu, you better have a clue in the near future that she was lying, otherwise you'll fit the harem protagonist persona way too much ye bastard.

8. Picking from among her gifts, her outfit consisted of nothing but black. Black leather jacket, plain, black long-sleeve underneath, black jeans, and a necklace with a black stone pendant. She noticed her birthday tiara, which was decorated with roses to look like a crown of flowers. She decided to wear it as she walked out of her room, through the kitchen downstairs, and out through the front door. Izanami and Osamu didn't think of bothering her.
- Back in blaaack!

9. Osamu: Yeah. It's probably best not to poke too much at it though. Aika is a really sensitive girl.
- So you DID realize something was up ye bastard. I still hate you, but kudos.

10. The cat took a liking to Aika, allowing her to pick it up without receiving scratches to the face. It's fur was warm and fuzzy, and its meows were faint.
- Nice cat. FAAAAAAAT cat.

11. Aika: You are so adorable! I guess you were taking shelter from the rain earlier, huh? Cats tend to really dislike water. I guess I'm taking shelter too, but not from the rain.
- 'Cats tend to really dislike water' seemed like something the narrator of the story would say, and not Aika for some reason haha.

12. Aika used her leather jacket as a pillow and laid across the bleacher seats. Her eyes were so heavy that going to sleep was completely effortless for her. Dressed in black and flowers, and with the multi-colored light of the stained glass shining on her and her surroundings, Aika drifted off into sleep.
- Nice cinematic scene as always.

13. Osamu: Hey...you've gotten much more accustomed to Japanese manners!
Isabella: R-really?
Osamu: Yep! That was seriously something I'd expect Yoko or myself to say, but you nailed it this time. Great job, Izzy!
- Is it truly so important in Japanese culture that everyone eats together?

14. (I didn't want to bug her about today, but maybe I should've been more careful and expressed deeper concern. Not only did Aika disappear from the house, but Yoko hasn't left her room all day and refuses to eat anything. I wonder if they actually had a fight or something. But about what? Was it about what she said at her birthday party? Hah, knowing the dynamics between those girls, it does make sense. I'm sure it's nothing. Once Aika gets back, they'll apologize and thing will go back to the way they were.)
- Baaaaka.

15. Aika: He has a name! His name is Coco!
- COCO! Niiiice cat. FAAAAAAAT cat. I want to pet it.

16. (Seriously? You named a stray cat?)
- You don't understand cats are to be named, you heartless creature!?

17. Aika: I want to apologize for asking you that question yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking, putting you on the spot like that. It only makes sense that you weren't able to answer properly.
- No no no, Aika, it's an important question. Osamu should be the one clearly defining who he loves the most or at least be upfront about loving more than one girl at once. Instead he stays on the sidelines and waits for you girls to suffer miseries amongst eachother. His lack of initiative is almost abusive dammit. He literally only came to pick you up at the prompting of other girls! Vanish, Osamu! Vanish and give me your harem! 

18. Osamu: W-what?! No it's not! Geez, it's like your my mother all of a sudden.
*you're

19. Aika: And so what if we did, nyaa?
- KAWAII DESU NE

20.
(Nyaa? Oh man, talk about cute!)
- Yes. Yes indeed

21. (So there really is a conspiracy!)
- hahaha

22. Aika: Osamu? Can I ask you one more time? Be honest. I don't care what your answer is.
- You're going to ask an honest and deep question again Aika, but you misunderstand Osamu, gal. He's Mr. Master of Lukewarmness and Inactivity. He is Passivity extreme. He won't give any satisfactory answer. I gaurantee it!

23.
Aika: Who do you love?
Osamu: I...my heart hasn't really settled yet. But still...I find myself thinking and worrying about you the most. I just feel like I should be there, that I SHOULD have been there. Maybe it's just me wanting to make-up for neglecting your situation all those years ago. I really do regret getting mad at you like that back then. So, I suppose...if I had to give you an answer...I...I still love you, Aika.
- You'd make a good politician man. Although to be fair, she should've made her question clearer by adding 'the most'. As it is Osamu could just say 'My parents' (Wait... Does he even have good relationship with his parents?)

24. Aika: Thank you, Osamu. Thank you for everything. You don't owe me anything at all. We were both young and dumb, right? We both made our mistakes and we could've been better to each other. You don't blame me, so I won't blame you. We did alright, you and I. I'm proud you were the first one to teach me what love was.
(She...she really just said that. And I still love her...)
- And you don't deserve it ye bastard!

25. She looked around and around...and there she was. There was Aika. She was the source of the signal of one's passing.
[The next person to see her was Izanami. Her body was washed up on the shore at low tide, her skin cold and pale, and her body motionless. Dressed in black and flowers...]
- Gaddamnyou OGHM. You did not just do this. Why would you do this.

26.
Izanami: No....no! No! No! Aika!
Izanami ran to Aika's body and cradled her. There were no signs of life to be found.
- Why would you do this.

27.
[Of course...that day...Aika dressed for her own funeral.]
The moon was reflected over the ocean as Izanami cried louder than the waves. This would be the most painful soul to take from the earth.
- Just why.