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Author Topic: (Currently no title)  (Read 1150 times)

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Offline Haruhiko

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(Currently no title)
« on: June 30, 2015, 04:44:10 AM »
So, In this world everyone has the choice of Learning the way of a hunter or to live differently. There are two types of hunters The natural and the engineers. The natural hunters have the ability to copy elemental animals/beasts. The engineer hunters have the ability to be faster than regular humans/natural hunters, and make enchanted items.

 So, 2 brothers grow up (with dead parents, they were brutaly murdered by one of the sacred beasts) homelessly in a world where there is 7 sacred beasts that are hunted. Their bloodline is among ancient heroes of the past (such as Hercules, Ares, ect),and have special abilities because of it. They are faster stronger and are more resistant than almost every other person in the world. One is a natural hunter and the other is and engineer. They both attempt to hunt the sacred beasts, get stronger ,and to kill the one who killed their parents..

Current Sacred Beast

1.Paw Bear
2.Mondorm(Mongolian Death Worm)
3.Golem*
4.Magma - Rex*
5.Absolute Zero(Leviathan)
6.L. Dragon(Lightning Dragon)*
7.Phoenix

* = Better name

P.S. I am currently looking for a mangaka artist.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2015, 09:39:21 AM by Haruhiko »

Offline Peraso

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Re: (Currently no title)
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2015, 05:14:05 AM »
Well, I would like to say that the story is pretty straightforward as how you put it. Gaining these abilities to kill their parent's killer, straight enough. I am sure that as you go and make progress you will elaborate more on the plot and such.

I also see you are new in the community. I would recommend you to go the welcome center and present yourself there. I also reckon that any links of before a certain number of posts is also not acceptable.

I would suggest for you to work on the stroy and make a better elaboration if you wish to have an artist. Artists, as well as a numerous amount of people, would like to know more information before taking on into any kind of work with someone.

I say if that is introduced then you may get yourself well and going. Stay classy, lad.


Offline gelolanuza05

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Re: (Currently no title)
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2015, 05:45:25 AM »
Hey, Nice idea you got there brother, But the way you present the plot of it is not really working for me

-Mission : Get stronger and avenge their Parents.. Thats nice,  but put a little more detail

-Place/Settings : I am kinda confused In this one, You said this, the world have 2 choices of which you want to learn, then you used the word "World" again Where the 2 Brothers grow up and lives..

-Characters : Names would be nice :)

________

I am also a newbie writer, but i recommend you that, :D good luck on the manga feel free to message me for helps or others.. Cheers.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2015, 05:47:45 AM by gelolanuza05 »
HELLOOO THEEREEEE

Offline Haruhiko

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Re: (Currently no title)
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2015, 09:16:17 AM »
Current Sacred Beast

1.Paw Bear
2.Mondorm(Mongolian Death Worm)
3.Golem*
4.Magma - Rex*
5.Absolute Zero(Leviathan)
6.L. Dragon(Lightning Dragon)*
7.Phoenix

* = Better name


Offline gelolanuza05

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Re: (Currently no title)
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2015, 09:19:34 AM »
Current Sacred Beast

1.Paw Bear
2.Mondorm(Mongolian Death Worm)
3.Golem*
4.Magma - Rex*
5.Absolute Zero(Leviathan)
6.L. Dragon(Lightning Dragon)*
7.Phoenix

* = Better name

Filing it to the post is better than commenting it,, so everyone can see it . Cheers
HELLOOO THEEREEEE

Offline Hasith

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Re: (Currently no title)
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2015, 09:36:09 AM »
Don't post email addresses.

Offline Lumaria

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Re: (Currently no title)
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2015, 09:37:55 PM »
Right now you have a very bare world that doesn't contribute to reason.


First off, you're not establishing the value of being a "hunter" as opposed to anything else in your story. Is society in this world more driven to being hunters or is it just an optional way of living? What do hunters do and what do they gain?


Second, you already added in the typical things that any character has. Their orphans. Most of the time, simply being orphans and gifted isn't what makes them interesting. What is it like for them as orphans or perhaps why are they orphans in the first place or both.


The names for the creatures less than consistent, they seem more random. if there was some form of "theme" involving it, it would be better. But also why are they being hunted is also a good reason to put in (even if that reason is for sport)
Stop playing victim....you know what you did.