March 29, 2024, 04:35:04 AM

------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Author Topic: Grey: Home for Strays  (Read 38616 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays (Prologue Ready for Review/Critique)
« Reply #105 on: December 24, 2016, 05:17:14 AM »
I did a few edits to what I wrote, not enough to make another version but I'll put them here.

  • In the prologue and first chapter:
    I changed the parts where it said "demon" to say "monster". It works better.
  • In the prologue:
    I added in a description saying the Chief closes his eyes on page 4.
  • In the prologue:
    Old:
    "Man at the desk” (=): To a town on the western border called Evansburg. A normally peaceful place, but recently there have been a string of murders where the corpses have been found partially devoured.
    New:
    “Man at the desk” (=): To a town on the western border called Evansburg. A normally peaceful place, but recently there have been a string of disappearances where their remains are later found, or at least pieces of them. The bodies appear to have been devoured and there were traces of dark magic so I've been told.

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #106 on: January 11, 2017, 04:25:07 AM »
Alright... *cracks fingers* I'm finally working on advancing the plot. Also I'm scraping the script format and going back to the novel format I was using when I was actually making progress. That said, I still need to rewrite/finish the fight scene I left off on. I'll rewrite the fight after I get the arc mostly written, but for now I'm just going to finish it up so I can move on for now.

School starts back up on the 17th so I'm not sure what I can get done before then and I'm skipping around to writing scenes out of order so no promises for a quick update, but at least I'm working.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2017, 04:53:54 AM by Robin Ryuu »

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey - Chapter 1, part 4
« Reply #107 on: March 12, 2017, 03:20:20 PM »
Well, what do you know? I finally finished the chapter. It took an insanely long time for me to do it, but this is the first chapter I've ever written to completion. I will need to fix up the chapter more at a later date, but I'm moving on for now... probably...

This is the conclusion to chapter 1 of Grey: Home for Strays.


Chapter 1, Part 4
The young man leaned on his good arm as he watched the fight before snapping back to his senses. I need to get out of here.
Glancing behind him he saw a smaller alley that he could escape through. He rose, careful not to use his wounded arm, and glanced back at the fight as the combatants continued to clash. There's nobody coming to help him is there? As the fight continued a lunge from the monstrous dog sent the dropped dagger skidding across the alley. The young man watched as its momentum was halted by the pile of wooden crates that had served as his earlier hiding place.

Glancing past the beast the girl noticed that she had lost track of the young man's whereabouts. Tch, he must have run off. She was growing impatient with the fight. If she hadn't lost hold of her other dagger, she could've finished this quickly. She debated on using her powers, but the thought of revealing her tricks against a puppet irked her. She cursed at her own carelessness and searched for her dagger once more. When she spotted it she saw that the young man was reaching for it from behind a crate. She turned back to her opponent for a moment to sidestep another lunge before turning to where the young man was trying to get her attention, he was holding her dagger. Before she could think to grab it she noticed a figure emerging from the shadows behind him. "Run!!!" she shouted knowing she wouldn't make it over in time.

The young man was bewildered and frightened as he looked at the girl and saw the dog quickly approaching. What!? He's the one that should run!

"Too late~," came a singsongy voice from behind the young man that made his blood run cold.

Before the young man could turn he felt a burning pain from the side of his neck and quickly turned dizzy and his mind slowed. Through fading vision he saw a blinding flash of light that enveloped him before he fell to the ground, unconscious.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 03:58:09 PM by Robin Ryuu »

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays (Chapter 1 Ready for Review)
« Reply #108 on: March 12, 2017, 05:55:06 PM »
There wasn't as much editing to do as I thought so I went ahead and compiled the parts. I suggest giving it a read because some things have changed since I first started writing the chapter.

The word count is at 2533 words if anyone wants an idea of length.


Chapter 1: Creeping Shadows
A carriage traveled down a murky road. The road’s uneven surface was causing the carriage’s lone passenger to have a difficult time to get comfortable on the old wooden bench. The young man had grown tired of watching the road behind him and ignored it now, trying to distract himself and thinking of what he was going to do next. He pulled out a tattered note from his coat’s pocket. It was hard for him to believe that he had traded practically everything he had for this piece of paper. It doesn’t matter now I guess… I just hope this works… He was in the process of trying to decipher some of the words that had gotten blurred when he fell into a puddle of muddy water when escaping his pursuers a few towns back when the carriage came to a stop.

The driver knocked on the wall “We’ve arrived,” the man announced.

The young man climbed out of the carriage and was stretching his stiff muscles when the driver interrupted him.

"Sure you want dropped off here?" he asked with a semi-concerned look.

“Yes. Why?” replied the young man, puzzled.

The driver gave him an odd look and stated,”I suggest not staying long”, before flicking the reins. The young man watched as the carriage quickly departed and scratched his head. "Well that was strange," he commented to himself before turning to walk towards his destination, not noticing the broken signpost laying on the ground. He walked toward the town he could see in the distance, not noticing the broken sign that lay in the bushes beside him. On it was the word “Evansburg”.

As the young man entered the high stone walls of the town he found it to be nearly deserted, contrary to his expectations. The few people that were outside turned and gave him wary glances. Not fond of the attention he was getting he avoided them. He glanced toward the setting sun and sighed. Guess I should find a place to sleep. Soon he saw the sign of an inn etched with an image of a leaping rabbit. Above the rabbit gave the name of the establishment, The White Hare. When the young man arrived he knocked on the door and soon heard footsteps from the other side..

"Who is it?" a woman asks from behind the still closed door.

"I'm a traveler. I am looking for a room for the night."

After a moment of silence the woman replied. "I'm sorry, but I don't have any rooms available at the moment. Please leave." He could hear footsteps and whispers from inside.

"Mommy... I'm scared,"

"Hush little one."

The young man lingered a moment, but then he turned and left.

He passed many roads lined with boarded up stores and other businesses. Among the vacant buildings were a couple groups of vagrants who gave him hostile, wary stares as he passed. Moving on with growing unease he saw a damaged store sign dangling by one of its chains. Beyond it was an area that was closed off with various talismans and seals. Not willing to linger there he quickened his pace until well past the spot.

Soon he came to find another inn. Spotting movement out of the corner of his eye the young man turned to find at a crow peering at him from the inn's roof. After knocking he watched it with concern till the door jerked open and revealed a large intimidating man glaring at the visitor.

"Travelers aren't welcome here anymore. Leave," the large man told him before slamming the door closed and latching it.

"But..." the young man started dejected. He stood with only the light of a fire illuminating him. Hearing the sound of a laugh the young man turns to find another small group of vagrants. A man tending the fire and the man who had laughed.

"What's so funny?" the young man asks slightly annoyed.

"Cuz ya've got yaself ah problem, boy," Said the man who had laughed before taking a swig of alcohol.

"What happened here? I thought this place was supposed to be a bustling market town," the young man stated, wrinkling his nose at the smell.

"It had been," the other man spoke, giving him a questioning look. "I'm surprised you hadn't heard of what's been happening lately."

The young man shifted uncomfortably. "I haven't had the chance to learn the latest news for a while..."

The man considered the boy for a moment before speaking. "Most of the people here left a few months back when this town turned into a monster's feeding ground."

"A monster!?" said the young man in shock.

The drinking man spat on the fire causing the young man jump back to avoid the alcohol induced flare. "En there's us who've got nowhere to go."

Seeing the boy's confusion the sober man explained. "The people who remain have become wary of those who are brave or foolish enough to walk these streets and have barred their doors to strangers. I don't blame them for hiding if they can.”

"I see...," replied the young man, not liking where things were going. “Do either of you know the whereabouts of a man named Everard Wruck?”

“Why are you looking for a smuggler?” asked the fire tender, obviously surprised.

“It’s… complicated…,” fumbled the young man who was regretting asking.

The drunken man pointed his bottle towards the young man, tipping it so that the liquid was on the verge of dumping out. “I’ll tell ya if ya got tha coins.”

“He's dead,” the man tending the fire, interrupted. “Some fisherman found his body in the river yesterday… What was left of it rather.”

Of course things didn’t go as planned… When do they ever do? The young man mulled over his options. With his plan now obsolete and now being in a precarious location he decided that he had no choice but to keep moving. “Where can I find a ride out?” he finally asked.

"Gettin col feet are ya?" the drunken man laughed again.

No coachmen have lingered here ever since the citizens fled and travelers stopped coming. There is the option of going to the town's guildhall. If you've got the coins, there might be someone who could escort you to the next town over,” suggested the man tending the fire.

The drunken man snorted. "Bunch'a cowards if ya ask me"

"Good men have died facing the monster," the fire tender stated, giving his companion a glare.

The drunken man snorted again, but didn't press his opinion.

“Ah… I can’t go there,” the young man stated quietly. After a moment of hesitation he turned to leave. "Thank you for the help," he told them.

"May the Gods protect you," the sober man told him.

"Be careful, boy. All the attacks happened at night," the sober man called out to the departing figure.

“Could'a made ah killin,” muttered the drunken man grudgingly.

The fire tender looked at his companion with a look of exasperation. “You would only buy more liquor.”

“Bah. I wan't share with ya then,” retorted the drunken man.

“You would never part with even a drop,” stated the fire tender.

The young man walked for a while, but as he walked he became progressively unsure of his way. He stopped when he reached a small clearing that was surrounded by several old buildings that were in a desperate need for repair. This doesn’t look familiar… The young man looked over his shoulder. Did I take a wrong turn? He turned to face back the way he came. Was it that way?

As he stood he caught the faint sound of footsteps approaching from down the nearly empty street. Moving swiftly he hid himself behind some crates near an alleyway. With bated breath he waited as the footsteps drew nearer. He stayed still as a crate started to move. Several moments later he heard a person's mumblings and untensed enough to peek through a gap between the crates. He watched an older lady sift through the contents of a crate. The young man turned around with a soft sigh of relief.

"Huh? It's just an old granny," said a voice from an unseen source.

The young man had little time to register the scenario before he heard the old lady's scream. It ended abruptly followed by a heavy thud. On the ground the young man could see the old lady's hand from around the corner of his hiding place.

“Aww,” came the voice from behind the young man. "I thought you were going to lead me to a good score. Not a bag of bones with barely a shred of life left." The young man heard a sigh. "It'll have to do for tonight. You clean up here."

The young man listened as the source of the voice departed. A moment later he saw the old woman's hand slide back into the darkness and heard the sounds of ripping flesh and cracking bones. The young man felt sick as he listened and tried to make himself smaller, bumping an object in the dark.

The ripping sounds stopped as he heard a low growl followed by a series of sniffs. Then the sounds of claws on stone as the creature fled.

The young man waited for a while before slowly removing himself from behind the crates. He had covered his mouth and nose as the smell of blood was overpowering. He stood over the remains of the mess that was formerly an elderly woman. "I'm sorry," he told her quietly.

"Hey!" called a voice from behind him.

He turned sharply at the sound spying a person at the end of the alley. The young man stared frozen in place.

The girl, though she looked like a boy to the young man, looked at the corpse and gained a furious, hateful expression as they looked back at the young man. "You... monster," she said, voice writhing with anger.

The young man didn't register the comment. He was more concerned with the appearance of the person. Particularly their eyes. They're red... Vampire! he thought right as it charged him.

The young man's assailant drew two daggers from her sleeves before leaping towards the young man who was backing away. She quickly slashed her left dagger upwards.

Unable to escape her attack range in time the young man rose his arms to take the blow. The blade sliced through his coat and bit into the flesh of his right arm, drawing blood. He let out a yelp of pain as he stumbled backwards, gripping his arm.

Jumping back after she delivered her attack she gave the boy a glare,"Shut it. Murderers don't have the right to complain."

"Mu.. Murderer?" he asked, stunned as she charged him again. "You're wrong!" he defended himself. He made another attempt to evade.

She ignored his statement and brought down both her daggers, narrowly missing, but giving him a slight hair cut.

"Wait a minute!" he pleaded, watching her prepare a third attack.

"Why should I?" she growled. "I bet you didn't give her one."

"I wasn't the one who did this!" he replied.

"And you expect me to believe that?" she spat, standing straight.

The boy opened his mouth to reply, but a sudden movement behind the girl caught his eye.

In an instant the shadow lunged at the girl as she turned. It's fangs sunk into her right shoulder as it pinned her to the ground with it's weight.

The boy fell back in shock as he looked at the huge shadowy hound. It turned it's red eyes towards the boy with a vicious intent.

With a sudden swing of her arm the girl brought her left dagger through the belly of the beast causing it to dissipate and reform a few feet away. The girl got up on unsteady feet and faced the hound.

It gave a menacing growl, black saliva and red blood dripping from its gaping maw.

"Come then," she answered, taking a fighting stance.

Without a second thought they charged each other. The girl dodged another bite aimed at her leg. Jumping she landed on the beast's head momentarily before springing behind it and striking at it again with her dagger. Like before, however the beast only reformed taking no damage.

"Thought so," the girl stated. "You're a summoned spirit, aren't you? Where's your master?" she asked receiving no reply. She pointed her dagger over her shoulder at the stunned boy. "That him?"

The hound gave an offended look before becoming infuriated. It charged her and attempted to bite her once again and the girl swung her left dagger at the beast. It met the blade with it's teeth and wrenched it out of her grasp. She followed up with her right dagger, slashing into the beast's head. The dagger dropped and skid until it hit the wall. The girl attempted to dash after the dagger, but was stopped with another attack by the hound.

"Keh, you're not going to make this easy are you?"

The young man leaned on his good arm as he watched the fight before snapping back to his senses. I need to get out of here. Glancing behind him he saw a smaller alley that he could escape through. He rose, careful not to use his wounded arm, and glanced back at the fight as the combatants continued to clash. There's nobody coming to help him is there? As the fight continued a lunge from the monstrous dog sent the dropped dagger skidding across the alley. The young man watched as its momentum was halted by the pile of wooden crates that had served as his earlier hiding place.

Glancing past the beast the girl noticed that she had lost track of the young man's whereabouts. Tch, he must have run off. She was growing impatient with the fight. If she hadn't lost hold of her other dagger, she could've finished this quickly. She debated on using her powers, but the thought of revealing her tricks against a puppet irked her. She cursed at her own carelessness and searched for her dagger once more. When she spotted it she saw that the young man was reaching for it from behind a crate. She turned back to her opponent for a moment to sidestep another lunge before turning to where the young man was trying to get her attention, he was holding her dagger. Before she could think to grab it she noticed a figure emerging from the shadows behind him. "Run!!!" she shouted knowing she wouldn't make it over in time.

The young man was bewildered and frightened as he looked at the girl and saw the dog quickly approaching. What!? He's the one that should run!

"Too late~," came a singsongy voice from behind the young man that made his blood run cold.

Before the young man could turn he felt a burning pain from the side of his neck and quickly turned dizzy and his mind slowed. Through fading vision he saw a blinding flash of light that enveloped him before he fell to the ground, unconscious.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 05:56:54 PM by Robin Ryuu »

Offline Echo_River

  • Mild Observer
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2074
  • Gender: Female
  • Need Chips
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays (Chapter 1 Ready for Review)
« Reply #109 on: March 13, 2017, 02:01:08 PM »
Yay a full chapter! ;w;

General thoughts:

Spoiler
What a suspenseful beginning to the story! O: I like how you set the mood and slowly gave the info about the situation through the setting and characters. That young man's got himself into a predicament.

I'd just watch out for where certain words are repeated, like "wary" or "vagrant". They pop up a few times and feel a little jarring....? Maybe other synonyms would work in their place.

At the part where the young man is looking for a way out, it feels a little quick towards when the old lady gets killed. I think it'd be also nice to know some more of the young man's thoughts there, and what he's feeling.

Overall, it flows fine. Congrats on doing the fight scene ^^ and that cliffhanger ending....(write more! moooaaah!!).

Hope this helps. I enjoyed reading the chapter.  ;)

Some proofreading / copy editing things:

Spoiler
1) A carriage traveled down a murky(?) road.

- I'm not sure about this word. Murky usually reminds me of dirty or muddy water. Did you mean hazy or dusty, perhaps?

2) ...before turning to walk towards his destination, not noticing the broken signpost laying on the ground.
He walked toward the town he could see in the distance, not noticing the broken sign that lay in the bushes beside him. On it was the word “Evansburg”.

- You repeated the sentence here ^^;

3) "Who is it?" a woman asks  from behind the still closed door

- Verb tense.

4) Hearing the sound of a laugh the young man turns to find...

- Verb tense.

5) "What's so funny?" the young man asks  slightly annoyed.

- Verb tense.

6)"May the Gods protect you," the sober man told him.

"Be careful, boy. All the attacks happened at night," the sober man called out to the departing figure .

- Separated on purpose? Maybe you could combine them, or put the scene where the young man is leaving first before the dialogue to give a sense of time.

7) The girl, though she looked like a boy to the young man...

- This seems a little too obvious to start with. Maybe you could try to describe her appearance from the young man’s view so that it really seems like he thinks she's a boy.


8 ) Before the young man could turn, he felt a burning pain from the side of his neck and quickly turned dizzy and his mind slowed.

- This sentence feels a little long for the quick action that takes place in it. Maybe split it into two sentences?

No one is perfect . . . that's why there's erasers and extra paper.
DA: http://neysun.deviantart.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/neysun_hao/
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/noteriddler

Offline a

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 657
  • Gender: Male
  • Does the censor work here? *censored*, *censored*? Ok?
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays (Chapter 1 Ready for Review)
« Reply #110 on: March 13, 2017, 05:41:42 PM »

I liked it, my main issue is that your writing is all over the place and you use the same phrases over and over again (The young man appears 45 times).

Your grammar is also a bit messy. Examples, "A moment later he saw the old woman's hand slide back into the darkness and heard the sounds of ripping flesh and cracking bones" uses 'and' twice in the same sentence for no reason. Instead, something like; "A moment later he witnessed the old woman's hand slide back into the darkness. The sound of ripping flesh and cracking bones echoed". You do this a few times, such as "The young man was bewildered and frightened as he looked at the girl and saw the dog quickly".


Similarly, you're misusing "It's" quite often. Remember, "It's" means "It is". So when you say "It's fangs sunk into her right shoulder", you're saying "it is fangs sunk".
Your text is just, written awkwardly sometimes. Particularly in action scenes, shorter sentences can be used to portray the sense of urgency. So when you write; "The girl dodged another bite aimed at her leg. Jumping she landed on the beast's head momentarily before springing behind it and striking at it again with her dagger", it could be reworded to be less nuanced. "The girl sprung to dodge his bite, striking its neck with her dagger. Still no damage."


I am not a writer, so my examples aren't the best. It's just what i personally know.

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays (Chapter 1 Ready for Review)
« Reply #111 on: March 13, 2017, 09:07:09 PM »
Thanks for reading and the reviews you two. ^^


Reply to Echo_River
I did overuse "wary" quite a bit. I cut down a few of them, but I'll go back through and see what I can do. (It doesn't help that Thomas is wary of everything. :glare:) With where I said "vagrants" though... I was thinking that saying "homeless people" would have been even more out of place.

It is quick isn't it... This might be something I'll have to come back to after I have more of the arc written out. And working on adding thoughts now that I actually know how to format them a little better. ^^

1. I was trying for "foggy". Might as well just change it to that.

2. Whoops. ^^;

3-5. Looks like I missed those.

6. Nah, I probably just forgot to combine it.

7. Yeah, I don't really know what to do here... I completely skipped all the character descriptions since I intend for people to see for themselves.

8. I'll see what I can do. ^^

Will try getting another section up. (Maybe sometime this week, but no promises.)

Reply to The SlamJam
Trust me, the "young man" thing bothers me too, but I'm not sure of another way to do this without revealing his name early... His name will be revealed towards the beginning of the second chapter however.

Yes, my writing could use a bit more polishing. XD I've gotten a bit better at it since when I first started writing the chapter, but my confusion is still clear at times. ^^;

I'm aware of it's and its. It's just a hard habit to break. :sure:

I honestly struggled with the fight scene. (Which is one of the reasons the chapter took so long.) I'll see if I can make it flow a little better though.

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays - Question on Familiar Summoning Items?
« Reply #112 on: July 24, 2017, 03:55:56 PM »
Alright, so I'm working on a few drawings and one of them is related to this story. I'm still deciding between two things story wise...

Okay so I forget if I've posted it here yet but basically Jasper's crow familiars, Blacky and Whitey, are her dual daggers. These spirits have three forms; the crows, the daggers, and her feather hairpiece. The hairpiece is like their dormant state/where their connection lies.

My question is are the feather's the familiars themselves or are they the connection the familiars have to their master? The former would mean that the feathers physically transform into the birds/daggers (similar to Orihime's Shun Shun Rikka) and that if their dagger/bird forms are destroyed the feathers are too. The latter would mean that the feathers would remain in place while their "spirit" forms are released and though the birds/daggers may be weakened directly you would have to destroy the feathers or their master to "banish" the familiars.

How this relates to the art... I need to know if the feathers would be there while she's using her daggers.

Offline Flames

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 164
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays (Chapter 1 Ready for Review)
« Reply #113 on: July 24, 2017, 05:14:19 PM »
Uh Well,  crows have more than one feather.. So maybe you can make a design where its just an extension or something of their true form.

Like at the handle you could probably make a elaborate design on the dagger. Maybe like a fencer sword handle/hilt with feathers caressing or running up the handle.  Or you can make a chain of feathers on the end of the dagger with feathers hanging off of them.

Since their true form is a crow I think it should be present in all versions of their other forms in some way. At least it would make sense that way. 

Kind of hard to explain I guess, think of it as a mid stage metamorphosis or something along the likes.  But yeah I guess you can make the feathers their summoning tool of the sort. Or where their spirit/soul rests.

« Last Edit: July 24, 2017, 05:18:53 PM by Flames117 »
Message me for any assistance you need! I'd be glad to help.

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #114 on: January 30, 2018, 08:31:17 PM »
@Flames
I think feathers might be a bit much. I have the feeling that the design should be somewhat simple, but I'll think on having it reference their bird form in some way. (I have a bad habit of not replying until I post again it seems. XD)



So... Since Crow posted stuff for Society X I got annoyed with myself for letting my stories stagnate and I wrote a scene for Grey last night. Problem is that it's from arc 2 so I don't know if I should post it or wait. (It doesn't spoil anything if you've kept up with the characters here and in Crow's MR Project.)

Also I might post a scene at a time from now on. Less intimidation compared to completing a chapter. Plus I'm not that great at deciding where a chapter should end or begin yet. :P
« Last Edit: January 30, 2018, 09:09:40 PM by Robin Ryuu »

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #115 on: June 29, 2018, 01:49:46 PM »
*grumbles* May have to rewrite everything I've done for Grey so far. *grumbles more*

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #116 on: July 09, 2018, 09:04:24 PM »
Finished the flowchart/timeline for arc one of Grey. Now on to arc two.

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Grey: Home for Strays (News Update)
« Reply #117 on: January 22, 2019, 08:43:59 AM »
Figured I should give an update over here. I'm back to working on this series in with both concept art and writing. I'm completely rewriting what I have posted here as I've changed how things proceed.

For now I think I've settled on Grey being a light novel with a comic adaption farther in the future (likely after I've graduated in two years and can hire an assistant to help with the art). Tentatively I'm looking at publishing the written version series on Tapas, starting early June (I have a lot of work ahead of me).

Due to potential spoilers and the like I will likely not be publicly posting my writing here anymore. That said, for those who are still willing to review my writing, you are more than welcome to see it through pms or Discord.

Offline Action Animation

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 345
  • Gender: Male
  • Towards the dream we share.
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays (News Update)
« Reply #118 on: March 19, 2019, 01:26:00 AM »
Figured I should give an update over here. I'm back to working on this series in with both concept art and writing. I'm completely rewriting what I have posted here as I've changed how things proceed.

For now I think I've settled on Grey being a light novel with a comic adaption farther in the future (likely after I've graduated in two years and can hire an assistant to help with the art). Tentatively I'm looking at publishing the written version series on Tapas, starting early June (I have a lot of work ahead of me).

Due to potential spoilers and the like I will likely not be publicly posting my writing here anymore. That said, for those who are still willing to review my writing, you are more than welcome to see it through pms or Discord.


your art has become almost indistinguishable from the pros haha, your dragons post blew me away^^

also the mark of any good writer

is to know when their work needs to be rewritten

the fact you see so many issues your past self made

only proves just how far you have come ^^

not to mention this story dates back to 2015

another mark of passion is all i see^^

doubtless you already figured out why Im posting

if you want the same in deph reviews I give others then let me know

our discord is on our signature ^^
-Action
« Last Edit: March 19, 2019, 01:29:21 AM by Action Animation »

Offline Robin Rain

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #119 on: March 19, 2019, 01:45:32 AM »
Hrm, I let the writing slip between concept art and college (and a period of apathy towards my creations). I do have chapter 1 ready to review however. Maybe I can get the ball rolling again. I'll dm you in Discord.