Now that my life is no longer burdened with the great proverbial boulder on my back that I call 6 Cataclysms, I've had time to read all of this. Initially, anything with Vampires and Werewolves gets me worried, unless there's the themes of purity of the species, heritage, and asserting the dominance of the species. Maybe I'm cynical about it because of Twilight. Jesus, I still get flashbacks
The first thing I noticed about you as an author is your organization. It seems you like to flesh things out before writing, which is interesting to me since I just wing it all the time with only a basic concept in mind. Considering personality traits and physical traits for your character isn't easy, so I can commend you on that
What I worry about though is your writing efficiency, specifically, how much you can write/quality of writing/time you spend writing it. It seems writing those scenes really took it out of you
That could reflect on the writing if you're not careful.
As for the content itself, the skeleton is there and it's solid, thankfully! I know it may seem tedious, but you've got to be as detailed as possible when you're writing. The environments, the actions or positions of the characters, everything. Add details that convey the mannerisms and personalities of your characters! I felt like I wasn't getting enough of that as I was reading. Either that, or again, I'm just a cynic
If you can paint a good picture with the details, you'll find your ideas translating onto the pages pretty well. You may end up churning out 2000+ word chapters in just an hour or so if you take it far enough.
So really, just work on bringing your characters and environments to life with the beauties of the English language. Always remember that SHOWING is always more effective than TELLING
Just add that and you'll already be making a story involving Vampires/Werewolves that I'll be excited about reading
Keep up the good work, Robin.