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Author Topic: Grey: Home for Strays  (Read 14583 times)

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Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey - Summaries
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2015, 07:59:39 PM »
I will be keeping summaries for the story's current progress here. I'll try to remember to update this as I post new parts.



Contains spoilers!
(If you wish to discuss a part that I have not written to yet please put it in a spoiler tag along with a warning for those who are reading along.)


Arc 1: The Battle of Evansburg (In Progress)
A wanted halfwolf and a dhampir bounty hunter coincidently meet after arriving in a demon plagued town.

Ch. 0: Premonition of Unease (In Progress)
Jasper is given a mission to hunt a strong demon that is plaguing a town. /Spoilers ->/ Later that day the demon claims yet another victim.
Ch. 1: Creeping Shadows (In Progress)
Thomas arrives at the same town that Jasper was sent to and "witnesses" a kill by the demon which is revealed to be a team of two killers. Jasper finds Thomas at the scene, mistakes him for the culprit, and proceeds to attack him. Meanwhile, one of the real culprits, a black dog spirit companion, is still nearby and attacks Jasper while she is distracted. Jasper recovers and turns her attention towards her attacker /Spoilers ->/ while Thomas takes the chance to begin running away. Thomas stops however and he attempts to distract the demon when he sees that she is having trouble. Enraged by his actions, the black dog turns it's attack towards him instead causing Thomas to attempt to defend himself and in the process reveal his heritage. The attempt however is futile and Jasper steps in using one of her daggers' powers to wound the hound. After pausing to wonder why she hadn't used the power to begin with, as he watches the now reversed tide of battle, Thomas is alerted to a presence behind him only to then collapse, losing consciousness.
Ch. 2: The Furtive Fugitive (In Progress)
/Spoilers ->/ Thomas wakes in a dungeon cell. He is then interrogated by Jasper about who he is, why he is here, and about the attack. When Thomas refuses to talk she reveals that she found the instruction note that he had on him. And questions why he was trying to get over the border and making the accurate claim that he was trying to escape the bounty on his head. Then the innkeeper lady starts making a commotion in the place because her son was just taken by the "demon" and the people there are too afraid to go and save him. Then steps in Jasper with a plan… In exchange for Thomas' bounty being kept quiet from the rest of the guild instead of turning him in Jasper releases Thomas to have him help her find the missing boy.
Ch. 2: A Light in the Dark (N/A)
Coming soon...
Arc 2: The Strays (N/A)
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Arc 3: The Black Bands (N/A)
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Arc 4: Fleur (N/A)
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Arc 5: The Wolf (N/A)
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Arc 6: The Pack (N/A)
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Arc 7: The Girl and the Raven (N/A)
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Arc 8: Snowbound (N/A)
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Arc 9: "Monster" (N/A)
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Arc 10: Collared (N/A)
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Arc 11: Flight (N/A)
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Arc 12: Loyalty (N/A)
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Arc 13: Fight (N/A)
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Most of the arc titles are probably temporary and might not even be mentioned in the actual work.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2016, 04:25:16 PM by Robin Ryuu »

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey - Prologue
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2015, 04:00:29 AM »
I don't believe it... I actually sat down and wrote part of one of my stories... Well a scene at least.

Well here it is...


Prologue (DPCE: 4)
A man works at signing the papers that are stacked on his desk. There is an open window behind him showing the trees and around the room there are books and scrolls as well as a couple racks of weapons and armor. When a knock is made on the open doorway he looks up to see who it was. He sees the girl. "Ah, Jasper."

"Morgan said you wanted to see me for something?" she said, leaning on the door with a bored expression.

"Yes, I did," he replied, moving some papers out of the way before folding his hands and placing them on the desk. "How would you like another mission?"

"Where to?" she asked, becoming interested.

"To a town in the west called Evansburg. A normally peaceful place, but recently there have been a string of murders where the corpses have been found partially devoured. We have been contracted to find the culprit and stop it."

"Right, I know the drill," Jasper replied, getting up from her leaning position against the door.

The man closed his eyes. "Jasper... I was told that this mission was given to several teams before us and that they ended up as corpses themselves shortly after arriving. It is likely that the culprit is among the strongest that you have faced thus far. Are you certain that you'd like to accept th..."

"Talking to yourself again, Chief?" a voice interrupted him.

The man opened an eye spying a tall younger man standing where the girl had been. "Hexus? Where is Jasper?"

"I saw her running down the hall a moment ago," Hexus replied, walking forward.

The older man sighed. "That girl needs to learn a thing or two about patience."

After a few moments they heard a whinny and turned to look out the window watching as the girl raced out of the courtyard on horseback.

"She'll be fine," stated Hexus.

"I hope so," replied the older man as he watched her pass out of view.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2016, 02:14:31 AM by Robin Ryuu »

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey - Chapter 1, part 1
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2015, 10:19:49 PM »
I am dead... Half a chapter perhaps and a lot of hours spent writing... Yep... definitely dead... *casts a spell of self resurrection* I've still got a lot more to do so I guess I can't take a break yet. Anyways here you guys go. Feel free to comment if you want to. I'd love to hear you guys' thoughts on it. (I do know that I was switching between past and present tense. That won't matter when I go to draw it.)

Ch.1 P.1 Claws, Fangs, and a Shadow (DPCE: ?)
A young man stands yawning and stretching after a long public carriage ride. He was the only one who had gotten down from it.

"Are you sure you want to be dropped off here?" asked the driver with a semi-concerned look.

"Huh? Why not?" the man replies.

The driver gives him a wary look before flicking the reins. The man watches as the carriage quickly departs and scratches his head. "Well that was strange," he commented to himself before turning to walk towards his destination, not noticing the broken directional signpost laying on the ground. He steps past and the word "Evansburg" is revealed along with an arrow pointing the direction the young man went.

As the young man enters the high stone walls of the town he finds it to be nearly deserted, contrary to his expectations. The few people that were outside turned and gave him wary glances. Not fond of the attention he was getting he avoided them. He glanced toward the setting sun and sighed. "Guess I should find a place to sleep." Soon he saw a sign of an inn and when he got there he knocked on the door. He soon heard footsteps leading to the door.

"Who is it," a woman asks from behind the still closed door.

"I'm a traveler. I am looking for a room for the night."

After a moment of silence the woman replied. "I'm sorry, but I don't have any rooms available at the moment. Please leave."

The young man was stunned at the reception, however he didn't want to linger and left.

He found another inn a short way down the road and knocked once again. There was no answer, but he could hear footsteps and whispers from inside. "Daddy... I'm scared," "Hush little one." He turned and left with a growing sense of unease.

Travelling farther into the town the young man finds a third inn. As he approaches he notices a man in rough clothes tending a makeshift fire container. Spotting movement out of the corner of his eye the man turns to look at a face peering at him from one of the inn's windows. As he was about to knock the door jerked open and revealed a large intimidating man glaring at the visitor. "Travelers aren't welcome here anymore. Leave," the large man told him before slamming the door closed and latching it.

"But..." the young man started dejectedly. He stood with only the light of the fire illuminating him.

The homeless man grins at the rejected man, laughing a bit before developing a coughing fit.

"What's so funny?" the young man asks slightly annoyed.

"The fact that you've chosen a bad time to come sightseeing, traveler," he spoke before coughing again.

"I thought this place was supposed to be a bustling market town," the young man stated.

"It had been," the homeless man gave him a questioning look. "I'm surprised you hadn't heard of what's been happening lately."

The young man shifted uncomfortably. "I haven't had the chance to learn the latest news for a while."

The homeless man considered the boy for a moment before speaking. "Most of the people here left a few months back when this town turned into a demon's feeding ground."

"A demon!?" he was shocked.

The man nodded "And because of that the people living here have become wary of those who are brave or foolish enough to walk these streets and have barred their doors to strangers." The man coughed. "Well that's likely for the best. I don't blame them for hiding behind doors if they have them."

"Maybe I should have kept going after all," the boy thought. "When does the next carriage come?" he asked.

"Getting cold feet already are you?" the man laughed again before coughing. "Unfortunately, the carriages only come now if they have a passenger."

"Oh..." he replied, worried. "Guess I'll be going on foot then."

"Good luck with that," the homeless man told him and went back to tending his fire before looking up to see the young man holding out several coins to him.

"Thank you for the help," he told him.

The homeless man looked at him with a mixture of awe and suspiciousness. "You sure?"

"It looks like I won't be using it for a room anyways," he replied placing the coins in the man's hand. He turned and started to walk back to the town's entrance.

"Be careful, boy. All the attacks were done at night," he called out to the departing figure.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2016, 02:15:45 AM by Robin Ryuu »

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey - Hexus' Info + Morgan's Info
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2015, 01:24:46 AM »
Here are the profiles for the Chief's first two apprentices and the adoptive older brothers of Jasper.

Hexus
Character Info

Info box
Full Name: Hexus ??? (Hex)
Gender: Male
Their age: 27
Species: Maned wolf-folk
Background Info: ???
Their personality: Sarcastic, cocky, rude, thick-headed, but very loyal.
Things they like: Training, fighting, swords, meat, pretty ladies.
Things they dislike: Mental work, clothes, baths, Morgan's more feminine qualities.
Other: Human form looks similar to Dirt from Magician, but with longer hair and pale grey skin instead of tan/brown. Has a X scar on his back and is missing most of his tail.

Art

Pictures drawn by EmikoPhararoh of DeviantArt.

Morgan
Full Name: Morgan Lauritz
Gender: Male (Looks and acts female)
Their age: ?
Species: Vampire
Background Info: ???
Their personality: Caring, prideful, loyal, protective, easily angered.
Things they like: Pretty things and people, magic.
Things they dislike: Physical work, sunlight, filth, brutes like Hexus.
Other: Thin, long blonde hair, red eyes, pale, wears decorative robes/cloaks.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2016, 12:38:50 AM by Robin Ryuu »

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2015, 08:27:38 PM »
So earlier I was able to think of how I want for this story to play out and then I wrote the last two scenes. I never thought that I would look forward to advancing one of my stories to it's end, but I am. It's a strange feeling. The ending is probably my favorite part of what I have planned. I hope everyone will enjoy it as well.

Also I have a number for the amount of arcs that I want to have. There will be 13 "missions".

Offline WhiteCrow

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2015, 09:17:12 PM »
If people don't start offering their thoughts on here, then I'm going to be sending some rude PM's with tongues sticking out mouths, L's over foreheads, and Get Well Soon cards! Robin is an MR Vet who is an active member, let's treat her as family and not as one of these forgettable individuals who comes to the site asking for Dedicated artists to work for free and whatnot...

Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #21 on: December 29, 2015, 09:50:39 PM »
Now that my life is no longer burdened with the great proverbial boulder on my back that I call 6 Cataclysms, I've had time to read all of this. Initially, anything with Vampires and Werewolves gets me worried, unless there's the themes of purity of the species, heritage, and asserting the dominance of the species. Maybe I'm cynical about it because of Twilight. Jesus, I still get flashbacks  :unsure:

The first thing I noticed about you as an author is your organization. It seems you like to flesh things out before writing, which is interesting to me since I just wing it all the time with only a basic concept in mind. Considering personality traits and physical traits for your character isn't easy, so I can commend you on that  :thumbsup:

What I worry about though is your writing efficiency, specifically, how much you can write/quality of writing/time you spend writing it. It seems writing those scenes really took it out of you  :hmm: That could reflect on the writing if you're not careful.

As for the content itself, the skeleton is there and it's solid, thankfully! I know it may seem tedious, but you've got to be as detailed as possible when you're writing. The environments, the actions or positions of the characters, everything. Add details that convey the mannerisms and personalities of your characters! I felt like I wasn't getting enough of that as I was reading. Either that, or again, I'm just a cynic  8) If you can paint a good picture with the details, you'll find your ideas translating onto the pages pretty well. You may end up churning out 2000+ word chapters in just an hour or so if you take it far enough.

So really, just work on bringing your characters and environments to life with the beauties of the English language. Always remember that SHOWING is always more effective than TELLING  :thumbsup: Just add that and you'll already be making a story involving Vampires/Werewolves that I'll be excited about reading  :thumbsup:

Keep up the good work, Robin.

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #22 on: December 29, 2015, 10:44:49 PM »
Ah, yes the terror of Mr. Sparkle... My sister forced me to watch most of the movies with her, but when she tried handing me the books I just walked away.

I can't focus if my resources aren't where I can find them at a glance. :sure:

Nah, the "exhaustion" things were jokes where I was making fun of myself for not writing anything until now.  ;)

I get what you're saying about the details, but considering that before Crow's crossover project started I had never tried writing in novel format, I think I'm doing pretty good. I know that it's not very pretty, but I was mostly writing to get the dialogue set along with the major actions that happen with them. I left most of the details out so that I could focus on the interactions of the characters before I forgot what I thought of them saying/doing. I do have a clear picture of the scenes including viewing angles, panel shapes, and all the other details that I will include when I go to the storyboarding phase. That said I'll go over it again to see if I can improve it once I write the rest of the chapter.

The previous example of when I tried to write something from my stories... Yikes...

http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,12742.msg217210.html#msg217210

Anyways thank you for taking the time to read and reply. :heart:

Offline Nairbons

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #23 on: December 29, 2015, 11:35:54 PM »
If people don't start offering their thoughts on here, then I'm going to be sending some rude PM's with tongues sticking out mouths, L's over foreheads, and Get Well Soon cards! Robin is an MR Vet who is an active member, let's treat her as family and not as one of these forgettable individuals who comes to the site asking for Dedicated artists to work for free and whatnot...

Yo! Sorry about that. Aside from the usual apathy that permeates the internet, the holiday season is rough on a lot of folks. This hits the supply of reviews pretty hard, and even more so to the few folks that regularly put up content. Even the dedicated roundtable of writers looking for reviews got put aside the first few times it got sidetracked.

If I forget, pester me with PMs and I'll get a review up in the next few days.

Ah, yes the terror of Mr. Sparkle...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiAaEPcnlOg

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #24 on: December 29, 2015, 11:47:08 PM »
Ah, yes the terror of Mr. Sparkle...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiAaEPcnlOg
I'm wary of clicking it. XD


Anyways, it's fine. I'll try to get chapter 1 finished up here soon.

Offline Hope4Future

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #25 on: December 30, 2015, 12:43:32 AM »
If people don't start offering their thoughts on here, then I'm going to be sending some rude PM's with tongues sticking out mouths, L's over foreheads, and Get Well Soon cards! Robin is an MR Vet who is an active member, let's treat her as family and not as one of these forgettable individuals who comes to the site asking for Dedicated artists to work for free and whatnot...

i couldn't agree more, I'd hate for this website to become one-sided when it comes to reviews.

truth is, i haven't read the chapters yet but i at least read the summaries and character profiles. i like what i see and i hope the story is as good as I'd imagine it to be. I'll read the chapters when i get the chance to.

Initially, anything with Vampires and Werewolves gets me worried, unless there's the themes of purity of the species, heritage, and asserting the dominance of the species. Maybe I'm cynical about it because of Twilight. Jesus, I still get flashbacks  :unsure:


that's what i thought at first too, the whole vampire and werewolf concept is too familiar to twilight ... much like zombies in literally everything. frankly, i want them to bring back mummies to put in some variety ... where's all the mummy love?  :(
« Last Edit: January 03, 2016, 08:25:15 PM by Hope4Future »

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #26 on: December 30, 2015, 03:45:01 AM »
I feel like I should mention this before I get yelled at... um...

Spoiler
I am going to have an innocent romance element between Thomas and Jasper farther into the story. It's still mainly going to be a action and friendship story though. :blush:

Offline Hope4Future

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #27 on: December 30, 2015, 11:37:52 AM »
... i thought that was already implied ...  :unsure:

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #28 on: December 30, 2015, 03:02:40 PM »
I guess so...

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Grey: Home for Strays
« Reply #29 on: December 31, 2015, 09:45:11 PM »
I am going to do some revisions to the first part of Ch. 1. I'm going to be adding some more stuff about when he is walking around the town. I am also going to rewrite the conversation between Thomas and the homeless guy. I'm not satisfied with it. The guy just doesn't seem to fit and it's bugging me. I have a few ideas on how to fix it though. When I post it I would love it if you guys compare them to see if I was able to improve anything.