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Author Topic: Political manga "Between Two Hawks"  (Read 2367 times)

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Offline Icanttakecritiscism

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Political manga "Between Two Hawks"
« on: August 06, 2015, 07:58:30 AM »
Between Two Hawks is a political manga which focuses on two countries, the Republic of Stolsland and the Kingdom of Dunamisia. The two countries undergo separate revolutions and turn into, respectively, a socialist democracy and an aristocracy. It would follow the two new countries and their respective leaders, the President and the Philosopher Kings.

The protagonists would be political rivals:

President Sebastian (Bio coming soon) of Stolsland
King Ciel (Bio coming soon) of Dunamisia

Chap. 1 coming tomorrow!

Offline Icanttakecritiscism

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Re: Political manga "Between Two Hawks"
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2015, 11:11:47 AM »
At the beginning of manga (character will obviously develop):

Name: Ciel Artius
Age: 14
Personality: ISTJ
IQ: 265
Traits: - Just/fair
- Genius
- Calm and polite
- Gullible
- Impatient
- Introverted
- Obsessive
Biography: Living with his mother (and his sister until she left the house when he was 11) and grandfather. His grandfather is a smart man who has been teaching him seemingly useless things... Now of great importance.
Height: 161 cm
Appearance: Chinos and a polo shirt, short but wild white hair. Light blue eyes, slim and weak body.

Offline Icanttakecritiscism

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Re: Political manga "Between Two Hawks"
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2015, 03:42:36 PM »
Name: Sebastian Blair
Age: 24
Personality: ENFP
IQ: 243
Traits: - Courageous/brave
- Genius
- Eloquent
- Arrogant
- Obtuse
- Ambitious (unchecked)
- Greedy hypocrite
Biography: Originally veering towards social working, Sebastian got an office job. Boring and long days became the norm and the commute and food in the capital city of Stolsland leaves him nearly penniless. He harbours a hate (or envy?) of the rich and it saddens him to pass tramps everyday. With a young man's anger burning in his eyes, his ambition and ideas are his very own opium...
Height: 187 cm
Appearance: White shirt and red tie. Usually a black suit, sometimes dark trousers and a caramel Harrington jacket. Tall and lean, short shaggy (think Light Yagami) chestnut hair and amber eyes.

Offline Icanttakecritiscism

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Re: Political manga "Between Two Hawks"
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2015, 12:47:58 PM »
A young man walks along the damp concrete slabs of the Main Street. In his right, hand, an umbrella, in his left, a leather mallet. The rain hammers down onto his umbrella, quickly sliding off and splashing onto the ground. The man has a cold impassive face, showing no emotion. He passes a homeless, person, and briefly turns, fumbling in his pocket. He takes out a handful of coins, about two dollars.
Sebastian: Here you go.
He hands the tramp the coins, who smiles and nods.
Sebastian (thoughts): How can we let this happen? Leave people on the street to starve and die if they don't have money. That man has not even got access to water... A branded, marketed product!
A look of revulsion and contempt can now be seen on his face.  He arrives at his destination, a small internet café just off the main street. A familiar figure gets up and greets him.
John: Hey, Seb!
Sebastian manages a grin and embraces his friend. John leads him back to where he was previously having a drink, and the two sit down.
John: So, what did you want to talk about?
Sebastian: Just needed to unwind, really.
John: Another tough day at work?
Sebastian: They're all tough days, John.
John: The pay's worth it.
Sebastian: I get by, sure, but I don't want the money. I have what half the people on Earth would give a ball for, and I don't want it. Is something wrong with me?
John: We all want to be good samaritans Seb, but you do need money.
Sebastian: In this kind of society, sure. We need money, or we wouldn't have a roof, or water.
Sebastian makes gestures with his hands as he lists the two necessities.
John: Communism? That didn't really work out before, you know that.
Sebastian: I do. That wasn't communism, not truly. Just like this is not democracy. The goverment is broken,  our justice system is corrupt to the core and idiots manage this country. Imagine a world where there were not so many worries. The needs of everyone could be satisfied, everyone would be happy.
John: You're dreaming. Utopias aren't possible.
Sebastian: Aren't they? I'm not talking about Brave New World style happiness... Just an end to war, poverty, all our destruction. Earth will be gone soon, that's inevitable... So why squabble like ants over a speck of dust in an infinite space?
John: You know, you're right. But people don't like change, and they wouldn't accept it.
Sebastian: People aren't aware of what's happening. If we show them the truth of what's going on, the corruption, the deceit... They'd gladly accept the most drastic changes. We must form an organization...
John: A party?
Sebastian: Not only a party, but also a group of people who think like us, who would denounce the government for what it is, rotten to the core!
John: Tell you what, let's go back to mine. We can talk privately there.

Offline Synctual

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Re: Political manga "Between Two Hawks"
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2015, 05:55:14 PM »
Really interesting read. Sebastian is an interesting character. He's big-hearted and according to his profile, a genius. He seems to be a bit naïve, but big-hearted people are often, if not always, like that. I like the idea of him starting his own organization and rising to political power. It seems like one heck of an "adventure", they'll be going through. I'll be waiting to see more.

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Offline Icanttakecritiscism

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Re: Political manga "Between Two Hawks"
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2015, 06:15:31 PM »
A chalkboard hangs over the wall. On it is scribbled "Democratic Socialist Party". John nods.

John: "I see. What would the values be?"
Sebastian: "To eliminate poverty. To bring an end to money going to the rich, stop violence in our streets. Put an end to deaths being mere statistics. If your entire family was murdered, John, they'd be numbers on a page in some grotty local newspaper."
John: "Yeah..."
Sebastian: "We live in dark and dangerous times. More so that in the past five thousand years. Go outside at night and you'll get stabbed or raped. Stop working for some reason, or don't have enough money? You end up on the streets, and wake up getting robbed, chased off or raped."
John: "It isn't fair, no."
Sebastian: "We can adopt the deer as our symbol. It means hope. We'll make this country progress, rather than stagnate. I can write up a constitution."
John: "I know a guy who'll print us some pamphlets."
Sebastian: "I can organize public talks. Rallies."
John: "Let's do this. We need a motto, don't we?"
Sebastian: "For the People, For the Future, For You"

Offline Kata_Misashi

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Re: Political manga "Between Two Hawks"
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2015, 07:54:26 AM »
You know, I've never been one for political-type stories but I'm liking how this is starting out. Its easy to jump into and the dialogue is compelling me to read more. I want to see this organization grow; its not like its being 'forced' upon us to know. Hope to keep reading more of this. :thumbsup:

Offline IamKeria

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Re: Political manga "Between Two Hawks"
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2015, 10:16:41 AM »
Hello, I am from the Review Swap group. The piece I would like for you to review for me is A Humble Man Pain . Okay here is my take on your work:


BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS MY KIND OF STORY!!! Although sometimes i get confused of what's going on in the political world it interests me to the very least. I agree and disagree with Seb though. He wants to eliminate poverty but however there will always be some type of measurement to the have and the have nots. Whether if money never exist humans are people who judge one another off of some type of ability of wealth thus leaving room for envy and jeaolusy. I must wonder will religion play a role in this? It kind of remind me of this book I just recently finished and dropped the second. It's called The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson. There are a lot of political fortes in it. However, a lot of fantasy of little gods and stuff. I like the political side more lol. I will be looking for more soon.

I find it hard to imagine a Gullible but Genius person lol. Maybe an Albert Einstein then? Like can calculate the measuement of the sun and mass and the distant it takes a comet to reach such and such place in a matter of minutes but don't have the common sense to understand the common status of things lol.