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Author Topic: Seven Samurai (Rugby Sevens)  (Read 1115 times)

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Offline SugarSam

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Seven Samurai (Rugby Sevens)
« on: March 04, 2015, 06:59:29 PM »

FRAME 1; In class, 4 is diligently paying attention, looking cute and feminine, perfectly ordinary female Japanese High School student. SUBFRAME; Her rugby ball keychain, with the NZ? logo on it.

FRAME 2; 12 sitting behind her, looking at her suspiciously instead of focusing on class. Her rugby ball keychain or maybe her blonde hair will be in-frame to identify her. 12 thinks “I wonder where she goes after school?”

FRAME 3; sound effect of school bell or Japanese equivalent ringing, crowded School hallway, highlighted 12 watching highlighted 4 walking away confidently, unaware of his observing.

FRAME 4; 12 follows 4 out to the girls’ locker room, spying of a more innocent sort.

FRAME 5; 12 finds a place to hide to see her secret.

FRAME 6; A gaggle of girls come out of the locker room, soccer players or maybe softball, and behind them,
somewhat blended in, is (SUBFRAME ZOOM) 4, with full rugby gear and a scrumcap.

FRAME 7; 12’s face is shocked!

FRAME 8; 4 walks on some more, separated from the girls’ team, looking like a boy with her blonde hair neatly tucked beneath her scrumcap.

FRAME 9; looking at 4’s front, we see her walking along unassumingly, and 12 sneaking behind her to another hiding spot.

FRAME 10; a lock of blonde hair falls from 4’s scrumcap, [subframe] which 12 noticespn .

FRAME 11; 12 hears someone out-of-frame say “The Samurai!”

FRAME 12; [full page frame] 1,2,3,9 and 10 are in full gear, headed for practice. 9 is shouting “First step for the Samurai!”

FRAME 13; [overhead frame] around the corner from and invisible to 4 are 1,2,3, and 9. 12 can see both parties.

FRAME 14; 12 looks at 4 who is fixing her hair and thinks to himself “she’ll be found out!”

FRAME 15; 12 jumps from (his hiding spot) in front of 1,2,3, and 9 and shouts “Hey!” 9, likely in front, reels in fright, while 1, 3, and 9, are surprised.

FRAME 16;  1 says to 12 “Don’t you have any manners?” 3 interjects to his brother, “You don’t have an obligation to correct everyone’s manners.” 9 is still in shock and shouts, “State your business, mischievous spirit!”

FRAME 17; 12 looks a little mousy now that he is beyond the first and only step in his plan. Time to improvise. “Uh, well, I uh, I wanted to ask you guys . . .”

FRAME 18; 2 is becoming impatient, (a particular character flaw for him) and loudly demands, “Spit it out!”

FRAME 19; Startled, 12 blurts out “ . . .About Rugby!”

FRAME 20; 12’s [inner monologue]: “Wait, that is exactly what I don’t need to know more about! What’s wrong
with me?”

FRAME 21; The four returning players grin to each other devilishly.

FRAME 22; 9 says overly enthusiastically, “Wonderful! Come along with us, young man with poor manners and wracked with indecision.” The other players are behind him looking equally insidious

FRAME 23; The four players toss 12 up into the air and carry him off above their heads to his protests of, “I was lying! Sometimes I say the exact opposite of what I really mean! Please don’t sacrifice me!” this all happens in the background of the frame, in the foreground is 4, watching confusedly, her rugby gear no longer in any discernible disarray.

FRAME 24; 5,7, and 8, and 10 are tossing a ball and getting ready for training at the pitch. 5(captain) looks into the distance and asks aloud, “It looks like the front row found another sacrifice.”

FRAME 25; from behind the four at the pitch, we see the herd carrying 12 above them very much against his will.

FRAME 26; The front row throw 12 down at 5’s feet, and in the frame his face is indistinguishable, but his frame is seen by 12 as impressive and intimidating. “Welcome,” says 5

FRAME 27; 5’s profile, and he looks cool. He says, “ You must be this year’s freshman sacrifice.”

FRAME 28; 4 comes virtually unseen from behind the front row.

FRAME 29; 12’s inner monologue, “Well then I suppose I won’t live a full life. At the very least, I hope that they will say I was brave.”

FRAME 30; 5 says, “Welcome to [school]’s rugby sevens team. We’re always glad to have newcomers. We don’t often get new recruits.”

FRAME 31(split); 12 timidly says, “T-Thank you.”

FRAME 31(split); 12 inner says, “Being a ritual sacrifice is probably nothing to be thankful about.”

FRAME 32; ‘Whistle blows’ and everyone looks up.

FRAME 33; A bearded man in a suit with an authoritative stance says, “Welcome to the first convening of the [school]’s Rugby Sevens team.”

FRAME 34; 12 inner asks,”Sevens?” and four seems to try to hide behind 12 from the coach’s line of sight.

FRAME 35; Coach continues, “We will meet three times a week, and you will exercise on your own on days off. I have a prescribed program if you would like one. Do not exercise the day before a tournament.”

FRAME 36; Coach continues, “We will attend 5 tournaments this season, with one training camp after the third. Three of the tournaments will be national qualifying tournaments. If we place in top three at two of the tournaments, we will be entered into the National championship tournament.”

FRAME 37; continuing, revealing a real katana and admiring it, “The [school]’s Rugby sevens team is nicknamed the Samurai. You will earn that name or you will collapse in its pursuit.”

FRAME 38; coach points the Katana at a returning third of the team, who look challenged, inspired, confident, and he says, “At the end of this season, we all hope that you will be good rugby players and exceptional athletes.”

FRAME 39; points the sword at the other returning third, who also look excited and such, “At the end of this season, I hope we will be a winning rugby team. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

FRAME 40; points the sword at the freshmen, 4 looks away worriedly, 12 and 11 look terrified, and 6 looks angry, “But you WILL be two things: Samurai have nothing if not discipline! You WILL be disciplined.”

FRAME 41; smirking, the coach says, “And this IS rugby sevens, so it almost goes without saying that you will be in the best physical shape of your life. And there’s one really good way to do that, isn’t there?”

FRAME 42; Coach thrusts the sword into the air; “We RUN!” the whole team except for the freshmen start running out of frame.

FRAME 43; Coach pulls his thumb over the sword’s blade, as if testing its sharpness. He whispers, “If you four don’t start running, I might have to use this thing.”

FRAME 44; the freshman look over their shoulders and see that the others have already taken off

FRAME 45; the freshman look back at the coach, who is grinning demonically with the sword in hand.

FRAME 46; the freshman run for their apparent lives as the coach runs behind them waving the sword and shouting, “You better run faster! I don’t give very good haircuts! AhahahHAHA!”

FRAME 47; 7 and 5 are at the front of the pack, 7 asks 5 semi-discreetly, “Is it true that he cut a kid on accident one year?”

FRAME 48; 5 responds, “I doubt it, but he’s definitely cut himself a couple of times.”

FRAME 49; the freshman approach the now stopped senior members of the team.

FRAME 50; the Freshman try to catch their breath while they turn around and see that the coach is no longer chasing them, but pulling off his coat and his tie is loosened.

FRAME 51; The coach picks up a rugby ball and holds it defiantly in front of him. “Samurai! Let’s play rugby!!”

« Last Edit: March 05, 2015, 06:59:04 PM by SugarSam »

Offline NO1SY

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Re: Seven Samurai (Rugby Sevens)
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2015, 07:07:34 PM »
You may get screwed for copyright with that title...

Also I'd suggest formatting your text so that it's easier to read.

The content needs buffing out and to be a bit more complete with actual characters and actual description of actions, but I'm interested to see where you go with a story about Rugby Sevens.

Offline darlingGrim

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Re: Seven Samurai (Rugby Sevens)
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2015, 07:37:53 PM »
I'd suggest adding a space after every line so it's easier to read. Also consider comic script format. I assume frames is panels, I highly doubt your going to have 51 frames on one page (I haven't the faintest clue what you mean by subframe unless you mean to have a panel in a panel).
I know you mean for these to be over several pages but you need to specify pages. Oh, unless this is vertical webcomic format in which case nevermind.

It's pretty hard to read without any names, but I can get the gist. It's a good start!

Comic Script format (it doesn't have to be exact but each part should be clearly separated).

Offline SugarSam

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Re: Seven Samurai (Rugby Sevens)
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2015, 07:05:48 PM »
Comic Script format (it doesn't have to be exact but each part should be clearly separated).

Thank you very much for showing me this! i had never really looked into it so I guess I invented my own. And yeah, each player is currently named for their position. In rugby, each player wears the number of the position that they're playing. When I finalize the new formatting, I will repost.

Also, I figured Seven Samurai would be all kinds of taken, so maybe I'll have to do The Samurai of Sevens. I hope the allusion to Kurosawa wouldn't be strictly speaking copyright infringement, but if it is, oh well. Thanks again.


Offline SugarSam

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Re: Seven Samurai (Rugby Sevens)
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2015, 11:09:06 PM »
Issue 2 Rough Draft
still not formatted properly, but I'll get to that soon.
Also, characters are not yet named. All characters are named by their position number. 4's name will be Malin, but that's the only one I know so far.

Seven Samurai Issue 2
FRAME 1; Rugby Montage: swift pass from 5 to 7, 7 screaming “Right”

FRAME 2; Rugby Montage: 7 tears down the side of the field

FRAME 3; Rugby Montage: 2 calls for a switch from 3

FRAME 4; Rugby Montage: 1 breaks down to miss a tackle on an evading 4

FRAME 5; Rugby Montage: 10 gets tagged by two hands on his thigh by 6 with eight calling for pass to the left.

FRAME 6; 12 standing off on the wing, technically in the game but not participating very much.

FRAME 7; Coach comes up to him, in dress shirt and rolled up pants. “Hey, what’s your name?”

FRAME 8; “[12]” He replies. “I’m sorry, coach, I don’t really know how to play.”

FRAME 9; Coach crosses his arms, “I had guessed as much. Do you know anything about rugby?

FRAME 10; Ashamedly, 12 admits, “I only know that you can only throw the ball backwards, and that there is tackling.”

FRAME 11; Coach replies, “Those are, in fact, two very important things to know. Ok then, I will give you a quick rundown of how the game plays, but we won’t deal with all the tackling yet. Look out there.”

FRAME 12; watching 5 run the ball, Coach explains, “The ball carrier may only advance the ball towards the goal (Forward) by running it or kicking it. We like running because it has less chance of giving the ball to the other team.”

FRAME 13; 4 passes the ball off. Coach continues, “The ball carrier’s hands may not move the ball forward in any way, but any other option is available.”

FRAME 14; 6 touching the ball down for a try. “By moving the ball around, the offensive team tries to go around or through the defense and touch the ball down in the other team’s tryzone to score a try, worth 5 points.”

FRAME 15; 4 tags 5 with both hands on his hips. “The defense must stop the offensive team by tackling the ball carrier or stealing the ball. To safely mimic a tackle, we stipulate that touching the ballcarrier with two hands below the waist is a sufficient tackle.

FRAME 16; 5 then rucks over and 3 pulls the ball out, “When ‘tackled’, the ballcarrier must stop his advance completely, place the ball on the ground, and one of his teammates must put the ball back into play somewhat quickly or forfeit the ball.”

FRAME 17; 7 knocks on a ball “For our purposes today, any infraction, such as a forward pass or unintentionally moving the ball forward with ones’ hands results in a turnover of possession near the spot of the infraction.”

FRAME 18; 2 quick-taps the ball back into play, “Play is restarted when one team kicks the ball through the ‘mark’, which is where play stopped or the infraction occurred. Other than this, we won’t kick if we’re not playing touch rules.”

FRAME 19; 7 tries to kick an Irish and shanks it, “NO KICKING in touch rules! And you still can’t kick very well, [7]!”

FRAME 20; Coach looks back down at 12 and asks, “Do you think you understand enough to play touch rules now?” 12 responds nervously, “I – I think so.”

FRAME 21; Coach smirks, “Great, let’s both get in some plays.”

FRAME 22; 12 inner, “Both?”

FRAME 23; Coach is already sprinting in to take a switch pass from an unsuspecting everybody.

FRAME 24; 12 grits his teeth and runs after them.

FRAME 25; 12 throws a pass into the ground

FRAME 26; 12 misses a tackle

FRAME 27; 12 catches a pass and gets tagged.

FRAME 28; [whistle blow] coach calls for a big meeting.

FRAME 29; Coach calls out to the huddle, “Returning players introduce themselves and their positions to the new players in numerical order.”

FRAME 30;  1: “[1], 3rd year, loosehead prop.”

FRAME 31; 2: “[2], 2nd year, hooker.”

FRAME 32; 3: “[3], 4th year, tighthead prop, and the best brother on this team.” (Out-of-Frame) 1 says “You are not!”

FRAME 33; 5: “[5], 4th year, flyhalf and captain.”

FRAME 34; 7: “[7], 3rd year, the Samurai’s bullet train.”

FRAME 35; Coach looks at 7 mockingly, “Is that because you can’t turn easily without falling over?”

FRAME 36; laughter from out of frame, 7 says dejectedly, “ . . .Among other things.”

FRAME 37; 8, shyly: “[8], 2nd year, I didn’t play much last year, but I liked centre when I did play.”

FRAME 38; 9: “[9], 3rd year, all-purpose forward.”

FRAME 39; 10 “[10], 2nd year, wing.”

FRAME 40; Coach says, “Glad to see all of you again this year. Freshman players, tell us your names and desired positions.”

FRAME 41; 6: “[6], …”

FRAME 42; 6, out-of-frame, pointing accusingly at a scared 8, “ . . .and I WILL be playing centre this year.”

FRAME 43; Coach says to 6, “Save the ferocity for the matches.”

FRAME 44; motioning to 12, coach bids them continue, “What about you?”

FRAME 45; 12, still confused, says, “my name is, uh, [12], and, I uh, I actually don’t know what position I should play. I’ve never played before.”

FRAME 46; 11 blurts out, “if you’re faster or quicker you should play in the backs, but if you’re stronger or bigger you should play in the forwards. I am shorter and heavier and not very fast, so I play hooker, #2, like [2]. It would seem like [7] is very fast but not very big.”

FRAME 47; (3 side-by-side frames, over 12’s shoulder) 12 surveys the options before him. First is 2, who is not very attractive and somewhat overweight. 2 is saying outloud “We bring the POWER to the team.” 12 says to himself, ‘I don’t really want to look like that.’

FRAME 48; (3 SBS) 7 is saying out loud, “I love going fast! AhahaHAHAHA!” 12 says to himself, ‘I don’t want people to look at me like that.”

FRAME 49; (3 SBS) 12 looks at 6, who looks confused as his position is not an afore-mentioned position. 6: “Eh?”

FRAME 50; closeup on 12’s eyes, which are very determined.

FRAME 51; 12 points to 6, as if calling him out personally, and declares much more loudly than necessary, “I will play Centre!” 6 looks annoyed/confused.

FRAME 52; Coach leans down to 12 and whispers, “You don’t have to challenge anyone today, but I like your enthusiasm.”

FRAME 53; Coach points to 4, says, “What about YOU!? You look like an angry monster of a player! What’s your position?” 4 is looking surprised and unprepared.

FRAME 54; zoom in on 4, still surprised

FRAME 55; zoom more on 4, more surprised

FRAME 56; Whole team staring at 4 in anticipation

FRAME 57; 12 blurts out, “He’s my friend!”

FRAME 58; Whole team looks at 12 again, who stumbles some on his words, “And, uh, he is really shy. He doesn’t handle speaking to people very well. At all. But he loves rugby. A lot. But I’m not sure what position he wants to play.”

FRAME 59; 4 looks a little astonished.

FRAME 60; (S)He holds up the number four on his(her) fingers, suggesting scrumhalf.

FRAME 61; Coach exclaims, “Scrumhalf! Excellent! A full squad finally! Let’s get right into the first drill! . . .”

FRAME 62; Coach looks devilish again, “I hope you freshman have life insurance . . .!”