August 16, 2018, 12:25:42 AM

------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Author Topic: "Enchiridion" Development Thread  (Read 3613 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline darlingGrim

  • Deleted
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 304
  • Gender: Female
  • Fight the moe
    • View Profile
"Enchiridion" Development Thread
« on: December 20, 2014, 04:35:19 PM »
(I'd like to give a shout out to my friend for helping me name it! Even though it's a temp name I like it the best.)
----------------------------------------------------------
*Last Modified to add more info/add storyboard 1/5/15
----------------------------------------------------------
Here is the draft of the main character, Fiore (Fee-your-ay), her name and design are still subject to change but I really like her so far.
Spoiler


[Cover Progress]
Spoiler
[Manuscript Progress ] Pg 17/? -Right to Left-
Spoiler







« Last Edit: February 11, 2015, 10:46:22 PM by darlingGrim »

Offline Vio

  • Listed in the MR blacklist
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3111
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Need Help Developing Idea.
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2014, 05:02:00 PM »
I'm a little busy with a project I'm working on ATM, so I haven't read the synopsis yet. However, the character and the brief description are interesting to me. ^^ ;D

Offline darlingGrim

  • Deleted
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 304
  • Gender: Female
  • Fight the moe
    • View Profile
Re: Need Help Developing Idea.
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2014, 06:20:59 PM »
Thank you! That makes me feel a bit more confident.

I drew a bit more if the character to get more familiar with drawing her. :')
Spoiler

Offline Lovus Eternius

  • Firstborne INC. Grandmaster Chief Chief Executive Officer
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1347
  • Firstborne INC. Making life great again.
    • View Profile
Re: Need Help Developing Idea.
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2014, 09:09:07 PM »
Mmmmm...

-stares intently at text, reads through whole thing-

...You write how I used to write.

Offline darlingGrim

  • Deleted
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 304
  • Gender: Female
  • Fight the moe
    • View Profile
Re: Need Help Developing Idea.
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2014, 11:00:47 PM »
Mmmmm...

-stares intently at text, reads through whole thing-

...You write how I used to write.

I wouldn't insult your writings (by comparing them to mine) XD
I'm not a writer (I'm not suited to it), I'm just trying to convey the idea I have. I don't know how to approach what happens after the currently unnamed 'beast' explains himself, and the girl easily solves his 'can't leave the temple' problem. What should happen next. I know who the main enemies are, but I need minor enemies and a reason for them to explore. The hero is seeking out her mother which is why she's seeking out temples (two others have been dicovered but are heavily guarded), and the beast companies her.

Because of reasons (I have them but it'll take a few paragraphs because there is a lot attached to it) he has lapses in his memories. With his newfound freedom he also seeks out the other temple.

There is also another humanoid species on the planet. I am unsure of whether or not I should keep them or not (they were suppose to be the only ones other than beasts capable of magic). There is also a bit of politics involved, but I can't just toss the information in the first chapter so it'll have to be slowly let in.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2014, 10:59:51 PM by darlingGrim »

Offline Vio

  • Listed in the MR blacklist
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3111
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Need Help Developing Idea.
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2014, 12:01:32 AM »
I have the time to review and offer my opinion now~  ;D

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH
]

Alrighty! From what I can tell, this idea seems like a female, younger version of Indiana Jones in a magical world full of monsters. All right. that seems ok with me. ^^

Now, whether or not this idea will fly I can't say. Everyone has their own taste and preference. Ten people may say that this idea is overused and won't do well, and another ten people may say that this fantastic and should have more audience. It just what it is and how it is presented. Simple as that.

But as I said before, it's interesting to me for now. ^^ ;D

Offline darlingGrim

  • Deleted
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 304
  • Gender: Female
  • Fight the moe
    • View Profile
Re: Need Help Developing Idea.
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2014, 12:29:08 AM »
I have the time to review and offer my opinion now~  ;D

Alrighty! From what I can tell, this idea seems like a female, younger version of Indiana Jones in a magical world full of monsters. All right. that seems ok with me. ^^

Now, whether or not this idea will fly I can't say. Everyone has their own taste and preference. Ten people may say that this idea is overused and won't do well, and another ten people may say that this fantastic and should have more audience. It just what it is and how it is presented. Simple as that.

But as I said before, it's interesting to me for now. ^^ ;D

I'm glad it's a least a little interesting. :D

Idk if you read my response to Gnash-Sama but this response has connected information : D

I definitely acknowledge that it has a lot of cliche elements (actually I left out the most cliche part out of embarrassment, I know I should change it but I'm attached shhhh). "Magic gems (or orbs in this case), Gods/Goddesses (this is the most cliche part I was avoiding), towers, temples, and probably more" Although there is magic in the world it's alchemy based rather than elemental. They can animate inanimate objects like golems or create scrying glasses (or similar). There is mist though and exclusionary tactics too. Usually if people want fire weapons they just make bombs... which the 'magic' people are also good at.

As I mentioned there is one set of "Gods", but there existence is mostly a joke. The main god likes to take the form of a human female (the other switches between different monster shapes). The human god, has a love for gambling with the other god. The reason why there are two humanoid species is because one created humans and the other created the other species. The 'human' god is surprised that the other god proposes the bet, because normally it's all on her end. The monster god always asks why she takes on a human female form and her response is always "I'm bored" or the like.

They debate on what the reward should be for the 'victor' race. The 'monster' god suggest that the winning race becomes the only race, the 'human' god changes it. Idk if I should mention it. Although if I decide to keep it, she'll say it in the prologue chapter anyway.

Although I guess they are important (only in the beginning and end), they are humorous characters. They have a slightly stronger connection to the orb beasts then I've mentioned.

Of course even though I have the main villain planned (not the gods), I can't really  approach it or at least I don't know how. I also have a rough idea for a minor villain.

Do you think this is too cliche? Maybe I should scrap the two gods and other species. Also put all this information in the first post?

Offline Vio

  • Listed in the MR blacklist
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3111
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Need Help Developing Idea.
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2014, 01:02:58 AM »
It can be too cliché, but it's just how it's presented. Let's take the magic trope here as an example. There's lot of stories were magic is used, but it's not really explain how it works or it's limits; thus that phase, "It's magic! Ain't gotta explain sh!t" plays out. But in this case, it seems that alchemy, "magic gems/orbs" and etc. are good to see. If magic rules are explain in the story, I'm happy. ^^

It's all about how you pull the string in the story. Character development, relations, plot, progressions, dialog, settings, interactions and reactions, history, time line, and all that fun stuff ;D. Damn near all adventure stories play the same tune, yet it's how you play it , whether it's interesting character, fantastic artwork, or enriching progression that get the story attention. ^^

Whether or not if the two gods depends on how the story flows. You just got to write and develop the story to see if there's any bumps to upset the flow. I try to be open-minded yet focus on the point of the chapter, story, progression, whatever. 

Try to be open-mined with ideas, but also try not to commit until the final review. ^^
« Last Edit: December 21, 2014, 01:18:26 AM by Vio »

Offline Lovus Eternius

  • Firstborne INC. Grandmaster Chief Chief Executive Officer
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1347
  • Firstborne INC. Making life great again.
    • View Profile
Re: "Enchiridion" Development Thread
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2014, 02:54:31 PM »
If it lacks anything, it is a good plot, character interaction, humor and a good reason for all this stuff that's going on. Of course we read an introduction to the character - but what we need is a monologue or a good introduction to the whole concept for it to be a suitable MAWNGUH (Manga -coughs-).

Offline darlingGrim

  • Deleted
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 304
  • Gender: Female
  • Fight the moe
    • View Profile
Re: "Enchiridion" Development Thread
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2014, 01:35:49 AM »
I didn't put all the words, but when she finally see's the ruins it stats her name in a descriptive box. There is also a bit of words in the prologues chapter and the likes. I'm working on a manuscript for the first bit so it's easier for a non-writer like me to explain X'D. I hope I can have some of it roughed out soon.

Offline MK

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1276
  • Super Critic
    • View Profile
Re: "Enchiridion" Development Thread
« Reply #10 on: December 22, 2014, 04:37:33 PM »
Ok I read the idea of the story and the work you have but you need to do what sport mangas do: Make/inspire the reader want to do what the manga is about.  Since you are writing about an archaeologist then you want to explain why archaeology is so fun/interesting to the point the reader wants to be an archaeologist.  To make it a little bit simpler why did you decide to make the manga about archaeology?  Was it because you haven't seen one about it or was it because you are really interested in archaeology.

The second part is how is the mom connected to the clues around the world?  Was she an archaeologist too and her daughter is following in her footsteps to find her/complete the book?

This manga seems to have a few possibilities but a major thing you have to realize, how does the main character get the money to just travel the world to find her mom and complete the book?  A couple possibilities are she comes from a very rich family and she can just do as she pleases or she is part of a team funded by some sort of organization.  If she is funded by an organization she would need permission to leave the site she is at (usually they stay at sites until everything that could be found is found which takes a long time).  Also if it is somehow connected to another part somewhere else in the world then she would have to provide enough evidence to be able to make a new site (they can get really expensive) but that could be a major conflict of the story too.  Trying to get enough evidence to move to the next place.  Another conflict could be there is another group that is trying to solve the mystery before her (could make it a shady group with other motives if you want).

Anyways, work on your ideas and when you have more of the story I could help you with storyboard/panels

Offline darlingGrim

  • Deleted
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 304
  • Gender: Female
  • Fight the moe
    • View Profile
Re: "Enchiridion" Development Thread
« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2014, 06:38:30 PM »
Ok I read the idea of the story and the work you have but you need to do what sport mangas do: Make/inspire the reader want to do what the manga is about.  Since you are writing about an archaeologist then you want to explain why archaeology is so fun/interesting to the point the reader wants to be an archaeologist.  To make it a little bit simpler why did you decide to make the manga about archaeology?  Was it because you haven't seen one about it or was it because you are really interested in archaeology.

The second part is how is the mom connected to the clues around the world?  Was she an archaeologist too and her daughter is following in her footsteps to find her/complete the book?

This manga seems to have a few possibilities but a major thing you have to realize, how does the main character get the money to just travel the world to find her mom and complete the book?  A couple possibilities are she comes from a very rich family and she can just do as she pleases or she is part of a team funded by some sort of organization.  If she is funded by an organization she would need permission to leave the site she is at (usually they stay at sites until everything that could be found is found which takes a long time).  Also if it is somehow connected to another part somewhere else in the world then she would have to provide enough evidence to be able to make a new site (they can get really expensive) but that could be a major conflict of the story too.  Trying to get enough evidence to move to the next place.  Another conflict could be there is another group that is trying to solve the mystery before her (could make it a shady group with other motives if you want).

Anyways, work on your ideas and when you have more of the story I could help you with storyboard/panels

Oh, I think you might have misunderstood. It's a fantasy story (It's not really about archaeology, the main character 'works' -or rather worked- in the kingdom as a researcher... but extremely low on the totem pole). Though, you're right I never really thought of a source of income.

The world is covered in monster and a good chunk of the world is unexplored (I mentioned it in another post but most people can do some form of combat).

My biggest problem is connecting the plot points. Or as you said " Trying to get enough evidence to move to the next place".
I also have a 'main villian' but I can't make them get really involved in the story which I'm going to have to brain storm some more.

I always struggle with panel planning so that would be nice once I get the manuscript planned. :D
« Last Edit: December 22, 2014, 06:40:09 PM by darlingGrim »

Offline darlingGrim

  • Deleted
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 304
  • Gender: Female
  • Fight the moe
    • View Profile
Re: "Enchiridion" Development Thread
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2014, 12:02:04 AM »
Woah, the prologue was really short. It's only 3 pages so I'll just stick it to the front of chapter 1. I'll probably revise it though. Do they flow okay?

Spoiler

I was thinking, do you think I should do the first 4 pages in color (yeah I like planning way in advance). I really like seeing the color pages in manga. I was really bummed when I realized there was suppose to be color pages in Death Note but they were changed into monochrome. Although I don't know if it was only america that made them monochrome or not.

Offline MK

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1276
  • Super Critic
    • View Profile
Re: "Enchiridion" Development Thread
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2014, 12:28:04 AM »
Japan also makes things black and white (occasional color pages) but if you read "The Gamer" it is Korean but in all color.  If you think about it, manga is Japanese comics and America has their comics in color (Spider man, Hulk, etc).  So if you enjoy coloring your pages then do it ;)  Thing is you need to be consistent so if you have it all in color or black in white then the only color pages would be credits (last few pages, maybe last page), the cover (and maybe first few pages) but doesn't mean manga has 0 color at all it is more based on the extra time to color and how it has been a tradition for a long time. 

By the way, you kind of confused me with the prologue because it doesn't transition into the first chapter (maybe add some kind of *x amount of time later*)

Offline darlingGrim

  • Deleted
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 304
  • Gender: Female
  • Fight the moe
    • View Profile
Re: "Enchiridion" Development Thread
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2014, 12:43:07 AM »
Japan also makes things black and white (occasional color pages) but if you read "The Gamer" it is Korean but in all color.  If you think about it, manga is Japanese comics and America has their comics in color (Spider man, Hulk, etc).  So if you enjoy coloring your pages then do it ;)  Thing is you need to be consistent so if you have it all in color or black in white then the only color pages would be credits (last few pages, maybe last page), the cover (and maybe first few pages) but doesn't mean manga has 0 color at all it is more based on the extra time to color and how it has been a tradition for a long time. 

By the way, you kind of confused me with the prologue because it doesn't transition into the first chapter (maybe add some kind of *x amount of time later*)

Oh that's a good idea! I think I'll put "Several centuries later".
Thank you~!