November 17, 2018, 02:25:30 AM

------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Author Topic: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.  (Read 6204 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline kinre

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 543
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #15 on: December 02, 2014, 05:23:05 AM »
well i don't know what he trying to do, or understand what his plan.
but as far as i can see , he never really say anything about his world design,  and never really say how he will make the story. it lack too many information to be able to understand all the detail, etc the world,  the char, or creatures .

all i can see now is that he only putting up his idea here.
 and what is the diff  of worlds and dimensions, it seem about the same to me, the only diff i can think of is that world is alot bigger and alot more thing/detail then dimensions, dimensions can have nothing inside or very small.

and just to say i just remember the kh the main char is only on a island , it does feel like  a small dimensions, and not a world. so if i remember right, they are going to dimensions to dimensions , and not world to world.
trying to be pro drawer

Offline Dangerous8

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 115
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #16 on: December 02, 2014, 08:07:53 AM »
I got this Dimensions from DC and Marvel comics or TV Shows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mesHt-3i2oA
« Last Edit: December 02, 2014, 08:10:52 AM by Dangerous8 »

Offline Lumaria

  • Editor Group
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4093
  • Gender: Female
  • Someone who will tell you what you need to hear
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #17 on: December 02, 2014, 09:41:00 AM »
But DC and Marvel.do it for the sake of writing an original story of the same character while at the same time all of it being canon. Here you want the story to literally be about dimensions. And the organization is really bad.
Stop playing victim....you know what you did.

Offline Dangerous8

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 115
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #18 on: December 02, 2014, 09:57:40 AM »
But DC and Marvel.do it for the sake of writing an original story of the same character while at the same time all of it being canon. Here you want the story to literally be about dimensions. And the organization is really bad.

Jeez give a guy a break. You are just a bully like those who said that Kishimoto can't be a Manga artist. Look at him now.

I'll do a better ending then he did with Naruto. I'm trying to get Lady GT since me and her are NaruSaku Fans.

Offline kinre

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 543
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #19 on: December 02, 2014, 11:46:41 AM »
the big diff that i see between you and Kishimoto is that he is a artist and you are not.
i my self will say that , making a manga is very very hard. is not a job that every 1 can do.

if you just want to be a writer, then you should understand that that there will be many thing need to be make , not just simple the idea of a story, but the skill of making people understand . and the skill of writing thing very detail, since it need to change to a pic/drawing, what you have write is what it will be draw.

and for now , i see that you lack exp in alot of thing, include communicate with other. and again if you want to be a writer only , communicate skill is very important for a writer.
trying to be pro drawer

Offline Dangerous8

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 115
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #20 on: December 02, 2014, 01:10:39 PM »
I think you guys forget everyone whose have became any Author or Artist at first lack exp.

That's why I'm here to improve my writing.

Offline Dangerous8

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 115
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #21 on: December 02, 2014, 01:18:19 PM »
the big diff that i see between you and Kishimoto is that he is a artist and you are not.
i my self will say that , making a manga is very very hard. is not a job that every 1 can do.

if you just want to be a writer, then you should understand that that there will be many thing need to be make , not just simple the idea of a story, but the skill of making people understand . and the skill of writing thing very detail, since it need to change to a pic/drawing, what you have write is what it will be draw.

and for now , i see that you lack exp in alot of thing, include communicate with other. and again if you want to be a writer only , communicate skill is very important for a writer.

That's what Editors is for. Duh.

Offline kinre

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 543
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #22 on: December 02, 2014, 01:50:15 PM »
then what is the job of a writer.........
Editing type  job is not to write/edit the writer story but to choose if the story/writing that the writer write can be use/good after that then edit what is needed for selling. and if the writing are very bad, no 1 can edit it.
and if your mind set , is   just push job to other to do, then i will really say good luck.

and yes we all have to learn at start, but all the information or thing that we say is also thing that you will need to understand. since is about communicate.

and what you lack is not a simple exp, but more on the right mind set to learn. again i believe that most people don't really understand what is your idea  about and what is your plan or how you will show your idea.
so shouldn't you fill that up? and not just waiting for people to ask you Q which you don't like.

and again, making a manga is very very hard, and i am sure that you don't understand how hard that is.
and if your mind set is that since you can't draw and just find a artist that you like and get it done with. and not try to understand artist job, like learn how to draw or draw story board/name. then i am very sure you have a wrong mind set.

so to make it simple, if you want to improve in writing, i believe you need to write more thing for people to understand what is your story, and how you will show it. and not just giving information, story are not information.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2014, 02:08:01 PM by kinre »
trying to be pro drawer

Offline Dangerous8

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 115
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #23 on: December 02, 2014, 02:38:00 PM »
The reason I'm giving small amount of information. Is to test the waters with my story Idea.

Since you think I live under a rock or some thing like that. I live in OHIO, USA. 

Kishimoto didn't know how he would've done the Naruto. He just dragged on.

That's one thing I won't do.

Offline kinre

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 543
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #24 on: December 02, 2014, 03:03:15 PM »
i just think that you don't understand what it need to make a manga.
as you already prove it many time that  you don't.
Kishimoto earn money, and that is the point of dragging. and he have the skill of doing it, which you don't

here you keep trying to act that you have alot of skill and understand alot of thing. but what i see again and again is all just acting.

you say before that you come here to improve, and now you say why you give so little information is to test the water. so which 1 it is.

and living in a city have noting to do with understanding thing. if you simple just close your mind , is the same as living under a rock.

in the end you keep like to talk about kishimoto, but you are not doing the same thing as him which is draw the manga him self.  so there for where you standing is very diff from kishimoto.
trying to be pro drawer

Offline Dangerous8

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 115
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #25 on: December 02, 2014, 04:18:10 PM »
i just think that you don't understand what it need to make a manga.
as you already prove it many time that  you don't.
Kishimoto earn money, and that is the point of dragging. and he have the skill of doing it, which you don't

here you keep trying to act that you have alot of skill and understand alot of thing. but what i see again and again is all just acting.

you say before that you come here to improve, and now you say why you give so little information is to test the water. so which 1 it is.

and living in a city have noting to do with understanding thing. if you simple just close your mind , is the same as living under a rock.

in the end you keep like to talk about kishimoto, but you are not doing the same thing as him which is draw the manga him self.  so there for where you standing is very diff from kishimoto.


I understand more of your Cyberbulling than you anything. Since I was bulling in from Elementary  to High School. It's my fault that I haven't exp some of the stuff like you so called 'normal' people do like go to college or anything like that. Isn't my fault that way you normal people treats special needs people like a second rate.  It isn't my fault that I had to take special classes from Middle School to High School.  You think I didn't tried to draw Manga? You are dead wrong. I stink at drawing it but I'm better then my parents at drawing.  I have friends that better artist than me. 

Before you bash someone like you did me. You should get to know them a little better.  You talk a big game but you don't have the teeth to do anything about it.  From this point on you are chihuahua in my eyes. All bark no bite.

You want make yourself feel so MACHO. Go head pumped you ego until it's exslpode.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2014, 04:21:46 PM by Dangerous8 »

Offline Vacant

  • MR's official no.1 present wrapper
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1868
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #26 on: December 02, 2014, 04:23:35 PM »
hey there Dangerous,

I think what's happening is you've put a lot of ideas down, but people are struggling to form them into a story in their head. I'm sure you've probably got a good idea how you want to start this story, or a plotline in mind. My advice would be to try writing a bit of the story, maybe a prologue or the first chapter. Perhaps this will help people get a better idea of the story and what your vision for it is. Hope that helps  :thumbsup:

Offline Dangerous8

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 115
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #27 on: December 02, 2014, 04:51:36 PM »
Here's the story just the first chapter:

In Hamilton, Ohio, USA. Daniel Butz just turn 30. Daniel Butz reach the height of five-three, darkish brown hair, dark rich chocolate eyes and he's natural skinny.  He's living with his parents cause he's a special need person but he can walk and talk but his speech is low average cause have sometimes people couldn't understand him when he talks. So some things he have to spell the word out for them. 


He has a younger brother named, Douglas Butz. Douglas is the opposite  from his older brother.  He's more upper body. While Daniel is more legs than anything. Douglas is more bulk not a football player body but more like a Basketball player.  His hair is slightly lighter than his older brother and his eyes are slightly lighter too than his older brother. He move out  and he got married to his former Boss from the Library. Now Douglas is an Assistant Director of Councilor job. Which he help.  When Daniel was in the youth group. Douglas was one of four hot guys. One of them was Douglas's best friend Peter Jennings but Daniel called him P.J. for short. PJ is a musician and a opera singer.  third hot guy in the youth was name Kris Rose. He's the technical guy and his parents rich but their jobs was High School teaching but now Kris Rose fellow in his parents footsteps. The last fourth hot guy in the youth group was Fred Filander who was around the height of 6'3" feet. While Kris Rose and PJ was about the same height as Douglas at 6'0" feet. All the girls in the Youth group have crush on one of those four hot guys.  This girls make Daniel Butz feel left out.



His job is one day job. He only works on a Saturday cause that's when his work is the most busiest. He got his schedule. He's an extra hands for a  The DEN Extreme Entertainment. One of his co-workers nickname is Sticks. Sticks could do all the different accents and other dead accents as well. He's also one of the best drawer that Daniel ever seen.  Sticks is a funny guy as well.

Daniel Butz is a idealist. While Sticks is a Realist person. The reason Sticks is his nickname is cause show he loves so much. That show is called, "Lolo & Sticks". Sticks is ten inches taller than Daniel.

On this day. Daniel's life will change. When he got off work and his father picked him up from work. Before Daniel went to bed. He look out the window to see a Red Moon. Daniel felt a shiver went down his spine. He knows something bad is going to happen but he shake it off.

All sudden in the middle of the night. Terrorists all of the world bombed and suicide bombers blew up in every countries and nations. When Daniel felt the aftermath earthquake. When Daniel open his eyes.  He was shock to see what he's seeing. What he saw was seven angels protected him. This isn't his first time see an angel at all.

Flash Back:

When Daniel was in third grade and he's in a new school. He's feeling lone. He had no friends. He felt alone. That's when an angel came to him by becoming Daniel's shadow for not scare the other kids. Due to Daniel's imagination. At first he thought he was imaging this Angel. First he rubbed his eyes twice. The Shadow Angel was still there. Just making sure. Daniel look at all of the other kids' shadows but their shadows were going the opposite way from his shadow.  That's when he felt his spirit kneel down. The angel said, "Don't be afraid. I'm here to kept you company." When Daniel rubbed his eyes the third time. The angel wasn't there anymore. 

Flash Back end.

One of the Angels said, "Your journey just began. Our leader the Alpha King. He's  wants you to have the abilities of magnetism manipulation, crystal manipulation, plant manipulation, weather manipulation, regeneration, intangibility, invisibility, cloth manipulation, replication, speed, Durability, teleportation, talk to animals and babies in their own languages. As well with a Half wisdom of King Olom (Solomon).
 
An other angel spoke up by saying, "We gather all of the wealth of this earth and it's technology. Now it's all yours. All of the Comics and other things to make your new home more homely. We'll send you to another dimension."

Daniel Butz have all of the comics from his favorite comic creators. Lance Stee the creator of the Amazing Comics. Max Sickson  the creator of the Radical Comics. Lance Stee's two major comics are called, "Dancing-Man and the Misfits Extreme Nature aka for short M.E.N." Max Sickson's  two major comics are called, "Dangerous-Man and the Dashing-Man." His favorite movies form a Wally Ranger who created a whole theme parks around the world.

One angel said, "We was ordered to asked you. How would you like the buildings to be built?"  Daniel replied, "I want every building have  eight sides. Strong against the weather."

Orange Sprite of light guiding Daniel into a the first portal he'll begins his journey. The last thing he heard from one of the angels was this, "Our leader wants you to find love. We know there is a female human from... " 

 



If you think I need to change some thing. please use the blue color as the highlight.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2014, 09:23:50 PM by Dangerous8 »

Offline Robin Ryuu

  • Robin Shadow Ryuu
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1151
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #28 on: December 02, 2014, 11:10:01 PM »
Quote
Do you mind if I can use you as a character?
I'll consider it if you show that you can write characters well.  ;) After all, even if you base a character on someone, you will still need to be able to fill in the gaps of information that you don't know about him/her.

Offline Lumaria

  • Editor Group
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4093
  • Gender: Female
  • Someone who will tell you what you need to hear
    • View Profile
Re: Daniel The Dimension Guardian.
« Reply #29 on: December 02, 2014, 11:36:13 PM »
Once again, what Naruto has in comparison to your story is consistency in theme, and a foundation. your story unfortunately has no ground. it can be about anything, and unfortunately, everything else seems to be generic.

You realize what dimensions are and what you are making doesn't appear to be consistent. You're making separate worlds based off things in our world. Makes it difficult to say what is "our world' in your story.
Stop playing victim....you know what you did.