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Author Topic: Galactic Raiders  (Read 35299 times)

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Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #690 on: January 17, 2018, 07:18:47 PM »
Ch. 56

Spoiler
President Khai stood on the stage. Millions of lights on him, millions of beings in the crowd, and millions of SIA agents located around the planet. Some stood on stage with him, some were waiting in the crowd, but most were undercover. He could not afford any mistakes.

He cleared his throat and began his speech. "Everyone, I would like to thank you for electing me as the new President of the One Democracy. I know we have been through some troublesome times as of late and I would like to thank you all for taking the time out of your day to vote for me. I would just like to let you know that just because I have received power that I will not change my views in any way."

The crows goes into a frenzy, cheering his name. Khai smiles and waits for the commotion to die down before continuing. "Regardless of what they may tell you, the Cosmos Corporation and the ORSA's are responsible for all of our current problems. If they didn't drag us into war after war, we could be living at a much higher standard of luxury. Your family members wouldn't be having their lives thrown away to support outdated views and systems. That's why I will continue with my promise to completely dismantle those institutions."

"False prophet!" a hooded man screams as he jumps onto the stage and rushes at Khai. He is taken down with a single shot before he can come near.

But this was just the start.

Several hundred hooded men in the crowd begin attacking citizens and SIA agents alike. Khai sprints for the exit, but he is blocked by another hooded man. Though this one looks different, he is wearing a black robe and there was a green liquid dripping from his wrists onto the ground. Burning little holes into the ground.

"No," Khai says stumbling back. "Crow, you live?"

"The best I can Mr. President."

Crow attacks the President and forces him to drink the liquid. "Everybody wants to rule the world. But only 1 can actually do it. The Buzzards have been calling me lately,  they do not like you too much. A true government should have a strong leader, you are not that."

Khai begins convulsing before his body stops completely.

Crow turns to his minions who are overwhelming everyone and begins slowly rocking back and forth, singing to himself,"Everybody wants to rule the world. Everybody. Everybody."
« Last Edit: January 31, 2018, 02:34:40 AM by Roshiro Byakko »

Offline Coryn

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #691 on: January 17, 2018, 07:51:09 PM »
Hm. It seems you missed a critical word in that last chapter. The president promises to change his views now that he's gained power. Doesn't seem right.


And as I suggested before, I leave my fate in your able hands here. Although if I were to give it a thought, I'd say there's not much to be done about an enemy I can't see.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #692 on: January 29, 2018, 08:49:18 PM »
It's all good Corn, I just don't wanna change the format.

And to every one waiting on the next chapter. It is on the way. School caught me off guard and I have several people who are   interested in joining so I have to fix some things on the story to make it enjoyable for them while seeming plausible for the story.

Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #693 on: January 31, 2018, 03:54:06 AM »
Chapter 57
Spoiler
Fearal sits in the corner of his cell, writing frantically on his wall. A combination of strange letters and symbols. Sweat covers his forehead as he mumbles to himself.

What is the end plan? He gets up and looks around. The room was completely barren, not even a bed to lay on. No window, just a door on the end that he couldn't open.

He was not sure where he was, but he knew his contact should've been there by now. There are not many cells that could hold someone of his strength.

That's when the door opened and standing there were 3 SIA agents. Two lackeys and General Khei and his eyes were full of rage.

"Hey, I'd suggest-" Fearal is caught off guard as Khei tackles him to the ground and begins choking him. Slamming his head against the cold concrete floor. A pool of blood begins forming around his skull. He's alive, but barely.

Khei stands up,"Pick him up!"

The two agents lift Fearal to his feet where he is incapable of even lifting his head. Blood falling from his mouth. His breaths extremely shallow and infrequent.

Khei lifts Fearal's head and smacks him with enough force that he almost falls out of the agents grip. "Did you orchestrate this?!"

"No...idea..I orchestrate...a lot of...things." Fearal manages to say with the little strength left in him.

Khei pulls out a strange medallion that has a smiley face on it and shoves it into Fearal's face hard enough to leave it an impression. "Is this one of your group's? Do you know what crew this is?'

"I don't know." Fearal responds.

"You better have something," Khei shoots back. "These bastards just massacred a planet and killed the president."

Fearal's eyes widen and he manages to lift his head very slowly to face Khai. A sinister smile on his face,"Aw, your brother is gone? How unfortunate that it wasn't my blade to do him in. Haha, guess someone is fighting for the sake of the people."

With this, Khei flies into a rage and begins beating Fearal with the pistol on his waist. He picks him up and hurls him into the wall. Hopping atop him he begins choking the life out of him.

Fearal closes his eyes. So this is how it ends.

That's when one of the agents quickly take out the other and pull Khei off of Fearal in a chokehold. Before Khei can fight back, he is quickly knocked out with a chop to the back of his head.

"Were you waiting for him to kill me?" Fearal coughs out. "Hired help is so sub-par now that the war has killed most of them."

The agent turns around and takes off his helmet, a stoic look upon his face. "Follow me."

Fearal scrambles to his feet and makes his way out the door after the agent, using the walls as a support.

Leading him through multiple hallways and upstairs, they end up at an exit. A control room near where the man in charge of watching appeared to have been burned alive.

The agents turns to him,"I must be parting ways with you now. There is a ship out there already. Get in and get far away. You are of no use in your condition."

Fearal begins to protest,"I'm no weakling. I can take these cowards on from my grave."

"And you'll be in a grave if you don't leave it to me. This is my mission after all." The agent points at the security screen where multiple agents are seen rushing up the stairs." I'll hold them off while you escape."

Fearal looks at him dumbfounded," You've got a death wish. I like that. It means you're dedicated to your craft. A cold blooded killer. I could use more of those."

"I wouldn't get my hopes up." The man responds. "One day, I may be hired to exterminate you rather than to rescue you."

Fearal opens the door," Your not ready for that day. I guarantee it."

He runs off towards the ship.

The man presses a button and his armor falls to pieces revealing a black duster with a hood and combat boots. A tomahawk and pistol on both sides of his waist.

He walks into the control room just as agents storm up there and cuts destroys the breaker box with a single swing of one of his tomahawks.

He takes his climbs on top of the control panel and into an air vent. He crawls until he is right over the agents who are all panicking and drops a single ball shaped bomb.

The bomb sends out an emp shock and the soldiers are stuck in place, unable to escape their armor. He continues his Britney through the vents until he reaches the entrance of the building.

He drops down on the ground and begins walking to the exits with prisoners causing chaos all around. With the power off, they could easily escape their cells and we're also trying to escape.

That's when one of the prisoners touches the man and he swiftly slams the prisoner on his back and puts his gun in his face all on one motion.

The prisoner was Master Koba who had a look of astonishment on his face. "Fortis Sicarius? Your here for Fearal aren't you?"

Fortis doesn't move an inch. His finger mere seconds from squeezing the trigger.

"No loyalty to anyone. You have slain warriors of both sides in your endless chase of money. Fight with us, then kill us when the other side offers more." Koba shakes his head in disappointment. "Why would you choose to live like this?"

"I'm good at it." Fortis says standing up and walking with Jobs in close pursuit.

Koba begins gathering energy in his hands,"I can not allow you to just pass by me. As an ORSA, I must stand for the good of the galaxy and you are a menace."

Fortis looks into the sky and sees SIA ships coming towards them. They were close, but not too close.

I don't have time for this old man. Maybe I could pick up a quick bounty if I killed him and took him with me. It'll be a lot of trouble if those agents catch up though.


What does Fortis do? Engage or make off with the money he's already made?

Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #694 on: January 31, 2018, 03:55:17 AM »
And I'm so close to rapping this arc up, then I can continue more freely with the story.

Offline Fortis Scriptor

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #695 on: January 31, 2018, 10:12:45 AM »
Fortis will run off, his job is done there.  :thumbsup:

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #696 on: January 31, 2018, 06:07:23 PM »
I thought Fortis Scriptor was a legend of the darkness. Nice to see you around again, dude.

Okay I need a lot of rebooting to know where I am, but I've caught up to the latest chapter.

Two small things I just wanted to point out

Writing in present is awesomeness defined... But hard to pull off. Please read Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. That or Black House by Peter Straub and Steven King. They are bibles of the genre. You shall understand everything that needs to be done to make such scripts amazing. Keep at it man haha. I love writing in the style.


1.
Quote
That's when one of the agents quickly take out the other and pull Khei off of Fearal in a chokehold. Before Khei can fight back, he is quickly knocked out with a chop to the back of his head.

The present-tense style  is based on the fact that it describes every minute action. So summarizing what could be a great action scene with 'quickly take out the other'  or 'he is quickly knocked out' are no nos. How exactly did the agent 'take out the other?' What's the biggest noticeable factor about his features ? Is he bald headed? Big? Does he have an expression when he does it?

Also, words that end with '-ly' tend to make for unexplained instances in stories, so try to avoid them as much as you can.



Ahem. So, I am a lazy creature of the night so I sort of forgot where I was? Help me out here, Roshiro. I remember WhiteCrow being supposedly dead, but I'm not sure.

All I know is that I want my hair back.

Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #697 on: February 01, 2018, 01:13:24 AM »
Since I regularly dive into the abyss for extended periods of time, I can bring some Raiders back up with me if they are willing. ;)

As for a quick summary of where you are Lego. Your character has gone to the ancient planet where Coryn and Hikari are currently. Your character hasn't caught up to them yet, but he's making his way there.

Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #698 on: February 01, 2018, 03:32:41 AM »
Chapter 58

Spoiler
Fortis ignores Koba, walking down the street towards a hoverbike.

Koba squints his eyes, the ball of energy now about as large as a basketball. He holds it with his hand shaking, a look of slight indecision upon his face.

He couldn't attack someone who was not going to fight back. Even if he was the scum of the world, he just couldn't do it. Koba extinguishes the energy in his hand and watches as the Fortis rides off.

Knowing that they'd meet again if fate called for it.


Lego inspects a strange puddle upon the ground. Red and almost blood-like , but it moved as if it was breathing. Up and down at a consistent pace,

Not taking any chances, Lego shoots a burst of flame from his hands at the puddle. And that's when it moves.

Lego jumps away from it, but it moves too click and sticks to his face. Clawing at it with one of his ripcord knives, he manages to tear a piece of it. It is not enough however, as the puddle grows into a spore of a sort. Slowly covering his entire body.

Lego closes his eyes and concentrates his energy and creates a shock wave that pushes the creature off of him. The spore makes a screeching noise as two legs sprout from the bottom, giving it the appearance of an egg with two legs and arms. It sprints past Lego who follows in hot pursuit.

The thing was much faster than Lego, but he could still keep up behind it. They run outside of the pyramid and into the forest  surrounding it.

Lego prepares to blast the creature when he senses a strange energy and stops dead in his tracks. He scrambles up a tree and looks as the creature runs to a man with wild hair and unkempt beard. The spore wraps around the man's body, completely covering him in a hard red form-fitting suit. The man jumps several hundred feet in the air and lands somewhere in the distance.


Will Lego follow the strange individual or head to explore the pyramids some more? Maybe a completely unrelated action?

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #699 on: February 01, 2018, 07:38:18 AM »
Sigh, I remember I once had a fleet of awesome known as the black knights. Good old days, now slime monsters are attacking me!

Follow strange individual I guess

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #700 on: February 02, 2018, 03:09:46 PM »
I do hope my galactic fortune 500 corporation shall rise once again for the greater "good" again.

Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #701 on: February 02, 2018, 04:30:40 PM »
Yeah, The Black Knight's downfall was a very unfortunate event for the entire galaxy. At least you can rest easy knowing that you're one of the stronger people in the galaxy.

Always Vio. It will rise until someone destroys it.

Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #702 on: February 14, 2018, 03:06:16 AM »
Don't worry, not gone again, just had to settle into my first few weeks of my school. I have some chapters for you guys though. I couldn't forget it.

Offline Roshiro Byakko

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #703 on: February 14, 2018, 05:31:33 AM »
Chapter 59

Spoiler
Vio looks into the sky and sees an enormous fireball blasting off into space. He instantly could sense the energy of his daughter as it disappeared into space along with her presence.

He turns back to face Sparrow who is mysteriously gone, but he didn't care.

He had to get to Meadow.

Running into his ship, he jumps into the cockpit and races off towards the direction of the fireball.

As he is going up, he notices that the entire city below him had been leveled and that bodies and buildings lay about everywhere. This was gonna be bad.

As he entered space, he could see a body floating just barely in the distance.

Vio recognized the energy as his daughter, but her hair was now completely white and reaching her knees. She appeared to have grown aged a few years. Now looking about 16 years old with a small glowing purple star symbol under her right eye.

And instead of being unconscious, she was facing the ship. Floating perfectly still with a look of pure anger on her face

Meadow closes her eyes and a silver aura surrounds her. The pressure was so great that Vio's ship begins compressing in on itself.

Seeing that he had seconds before the ship was destroyed, Vio throws on a helmet and leaps through the window of the ship.

Meadow opens her eyes, but she was looking right through Vio. It was as if she didn't notice him. Looking back down at the planet she was just blasted out of, in the blink of an eye she was rushing back down towards it.

Vio uses his Akabo, but he's nowhere near strong enough to keep up with her.

Sparrow looked down into the crater Raven was lying in, a disappointed look on her face. "You let that little demon rough you up like this? Your getting sloppy."

Raven climbs out the hole, taking a few moments to get steady on his feet. "This wasn't what we planned for. We must evacuate as soon as we can. She has the power of The Master, not just training from him."

"What?," Sparrow replies. "How is that even possible? You must be mistaken. No child could handle such power. Her body would sooner give out."

Raven gasps," Sparrow look!"

Meadow was rushing down towards them, her finger outstretched and pointing towards them. She fires an enormous ball of energy that covers the entire area in a dark ball of energy.

When the ball dissipates, Sparrow is on the ground with thousands of little cuts all over her body. Her breathing extremely loud and shallow as she desperately clung to life.

Right next to her stood Raven, his torso exposed and bleeding from a deep vertical cut on the left side of his chest. His mask was now destroyed, revealing a young adult male with short red hair and glowing yellow eyes with no irises.

Struggling to stay stand he says," No restraints eh? I can play that game too."

He rushes towards Meadow and begins a barrage of punches that she blocks very easily. She grabs his wrist and punches him.

As Raven is flying back, he fires another giant fireball at her face . As she raises both of her hands and catches it, holding it over her head, Raven rushes and begins unloading kicks and punches all over her body. With an uppercut, Meadow goes flying into the air, the fireball now out of her hands, but a few inches above her.

Raven quickly follows up with another fireball, sandwiching Meadow in between both of them. An explosion of flame covers the sky and Meadow's body falls to the ground.

The aura around her was gone and the purple star underneath her eye had stopped glowing. She still stands, though she was visibly tired, Raven knew she was no where near done.

He raises his hand and creates a another fireball. He falls to his knees as he's charging it, he was pushing his body too hard, this would have to be it. The fireball he formed was hardly bigger than his head, but if he aimed properly, he could end this.

Raven throws it at Meadow but it is nullified before it can even get close as Vio stands upon a roof. "That's enough of that."

Raven falls face down as Vio leaps off of the roof next to him, "You cannot contain this. Your power isn't enough for this."

Vio points his gun at the back of Raven's head," I've been doing it her whole life and I will continue to do it."

Raven chuckles," There's a darkness in her soul that I haven't felt in a long time. Not even in my lord. It will only continue to become more and more corrupted as time goes on. Look at her now, you may think that she is helpless, but there's a maniac obsessed with control hiding within that child's body."

Vio cocks the gun," You should watch what you say."

"Show her how we finish a conflict in this existence." Raven says with a hint of fear in his voice. "It'll push her to the next level of her training. I would like to be a part of this journey."

Vio puts his foot Raven's back and aims carefully, an uncomfortable look on his face.

Raven raises his voice," Show her what happens to the weak in this world! Show her what The Master showed you! A lost battle equals death in this world! Show her that The Master was correct!"


Does Vio show Meadow the law of the land?

Ch. 60

Spoiler
Lego sneaks his way towards the mysterious man's location. Staying high up in the tree branches so that he would not be seen. Always staying about 30 feet behind the man.

After following him for some time, Lego sees the man sit down in the middle of a field. He didn't move at all once he sits. Just sits with his legs crossed facing the ground.

Lego pulls one of his arms back to throw his ripcord knife when he feels a tug presence behind him. He whips around quickly and swings the knife, but the blade is blocked with a rapier.

Now he was face to face with a young guy with a wide smile on his face. The stranger was hanging upside down from a tree branch and was holding the rapier in his left hand. In his right hand was a bright red stake.

"How you doing," the young guy says. "Lego."

Lego doesn't move an inch," Who are you?"

The stranger smiles once again," I was once an observer, but I think that I would prefer to play now. You can call me Zet."

Lego doesn't reply, instead he lunges forward with his free hand in an attempt to grab him.

Zet quickly swings himself onto another tree, still hanging upside down. "I'm friendly man. I don't want to have to destroy you."

"You're quick," Lego replies. "But that isn't enough to face me. Tell me who-."

Lego is then attacked by the spore again and falls through a series of branches before landing back-first upon a rock. The spore covers him completely now and appears to be absorbing everything that it can.

Zet jumps down next to Lego who is now motionless as the spore drains his body. Zet walks around the spore inspecting it before putting the stake right in the center of it.

The spore lets out a shrieking sound and races back off towards the man who is now standing and facing Zet and Lego.

Lego gets back to his feet and closes his eyes for a second to get his bearings back. The creature had left him disoriented, he couldn't even charge Akabo in this state. "What is that thing?"

Zet smiles as he watches the spore cover the man's body in the red armor again," Too long to explain. Just don't let it attach to you. It'll drain your life-force."

Lego smirks," Good to know."

The spore covered man splits into two clones and each one rushes Lego and Zet.

Zet easily deflects the attacks of the one attacking him, but Lego is being pummeled by the spore which had absorbed his energy. Using what was his against him.

Zet stops the creature with Akabo and pulls it towards him, now facing both of them alone as Lego lays out of breath on the ground.

"Go, I'll handle them." Zet says. "Your in no condition to help me like this. You're a liability."

Lego stands and leans against a tree. He sees that Zet is now being struck ever so slightly as time passed. Both of the spores were giving him a run for his money, especially since they had absorbed Lego's energy.

It looked as if the kid would be trouble himself if he didn't separate the two spores.

Zet fires a shock wave from his hand and it reveals that within one of the spores was the man who seemed to be in some sort of meditative state.

Zet quickly scrambles up a tree when both of the spores split once more making 4 of them. They all fire Akabo at the trees, forcing Zet back onto the ground and in the open.

Once again, all 4 rush him, but they were quickly overwhelming him. Zet blows fire from his mouth and it temporarily stops the creatures, but then they are right back at it.

Lego looks at his ship in the distance, he could probably make it.


Does Lego help Zet or leave him to his enemies?
Does Zet have any ideas?


Offline Vio

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Re: Galactic Raiders
« Reply #704 on: February 16, 2018, 01:09:22 PM »
Naturally, my situation is clearly Coryn's fault.

I'm not sure what to do atm. Be a good example or not, hmm. :hmm: