Alright, I finally got around to playing the updated version. That one annoying grammar issue is fixed (sighs with relief) and the spinning transition is nice! though we still need to darken up those backgrounds and add a swoosh sound effect. here I found this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs6xtWpaw_YYou can probably find a tutorial to turn day scenes to night scenes for whatever photo editor you have lego, of if you link me to the images you used I can probably do it too.
also when Raid transforms, we should move him up to the regular distance, since he's now a part of the conversation.
when they arrive in protag's living room, and MR-tan asks about what kind of box you got, it says "What bout you", should be "What about you"
the "several hours later" text should probably go against a black screen, then fade in.
Alright, I think that's it. good work lego! we've almost got that scene finished out!