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Author Topic: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion  (Read 7512 times)

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #75 on: May 05, 2015, 06:40:08 PM »
Great.

Hehe, as for the anthology Frono swearzy and I have something for that too. The formatting of the actual pages still hasn't been decided yet though...

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #76 on: May 07, 2015, 06:00:58 AM »
Review for Chapter 29 & 30
     HEAVY RAYNE CHAPTER 29: Smoke and Fire

1.
Panel 5: *The Agent shakes his head*
             Daniels: "Don't worry about me General, I'll be okay"           

- Might be poisonous or something though

2.
Panel 1: *As kai looks around, the group hears several calls and roars beyond the trees*
             Creature: "Roarrrrr!"           

             Creature: "Graarrrhhhh!!"
*Kai

3. Panel 6: *At his touch, the sphere cracks and shatters, revealing the pair inside*           

- I thought Fairchild would have some combat abilities too

4.
Panel 6: *Daniels speaks up*
             Daniels: "General Fairchild is a non-combatant. Her strengths don't lie on the battlefield"   
- Oh, guess that was answered for me

5.
Panel 5: *He turns to the noise empty handed*
             Shio: "I must of lost my Sword up there!"           
- have

6.
Panel 3: *He stands facing off against the beast empty handed*
             Shio: "Lately...It never is"   
- No kidding

Well pretty short and action packed chapter there. Not much to mention other than that, but Shio sure suddenly got himself in a bind there! Use more water magic!




 HEAVY RAYNE CHAPTER 30: Scattered
1. Panel 2: *Shio looks suprised*
*surprised

2.

Panel 1: *The beast throws itself forward towards him, it's horn and tusks pointed ahead*
   
*its

3.   
Panel 5: *Shio looks confused at this*
             Shio: "It can change it's form?"           
*its

4.
Panel 6: *Shio rubs his neck, while looking irate*
             Shio: "It was just something he bought up one time!"   
*brought
5.
             Shio: "How am I supposed to remember every little thing anyone tells me?"     
  - Haha, this dialogue is pretty amusing
- I’m surprised he hasn’t talked about Zamizuchi to his closest friends though... And where was she when that girl got killed that one time

6.     
Panel 2: *Shio shakes his head*
             Shio: "You've got to be kidding me!"

-Seriously. Where did they all suddenly pop up from ? Youd think the team would be aware of them, or Zami would sense them arriving. Something fishy about this sudden Revenant attack...

7.
Panel 4: *This person comes into view and is revealed to be Leaz, wearing a smile on his face*
             Leaz: "Look at us, having to save your skin. Just like the good old days"           

- Wow, so Leaz isn’t useless huh. Nice dramatic entrance there

8.
Panel 4: *All three of them with weapons drawn, stand against the Enemy*
             Shio: "Lets take care of this together!"         
- Nice

Again, not much to say but great fights as usual.
I wonder, with magic are there Lore’s that deal with more specific tasks other than killing things? Like a magic location spell, or magic that changes hair color e.t.c Basically the magic  I see is all combat oriented. Even Shio’s water spells don’t have that sort of specific finesse of some magic you see popularly. Just curious.

Will get to the other chapters as soon as I can...

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #77 on: May 09, 2015, 12:14:13 PM »
So I'm finally all caught up, dude! Good stuff.

Random question though. I'm not sure I asked but how did you make such a detailed map? It'd be great to make one too but yeah... Easier said than done.

Chapter 31 & 32
           HEAVY RAYNE CHAPTER 31: Dual Lore

1.
Panel 4: *We see the figure is revealed to be Kai, sword drawn and stomping forward with a purpose*
    - Hahaha nice.

2.
Panel 2: *They look to Shio, who is out of breath*
             Shio: "We need to completely destroy it, otherwise when it disipates, it'll just regenerate"           * dissipates

3.
Panel 2: *Leaz pats him on the back hard*
             Leaz: "Then lets leave her to it and focus on our part"           
*let’s

4. Panel 5: *He gestures out to Amber, who is strafing the creature*
             Leaz: "It wont sap as much of our energy, if we use it"           
* won’t

5
Panel 4: *The Major smiles cockily*
             Kai: "Okay, maybe I need to work on my timing as well"

-Nice. And to think that the two of them failed so spectacularly. I wanted to see an epic Lore








     HEAVY RAYNE CHAPTER 32: True Bonds


1.
Panel 1: *We join the group still in the forest, sat slightly away from the stream. Night has fallen. A small fire has been lit in the center of the group. We see Leaz standing gazing into the flames, several bandages wrapped across his head, neck and right arm*

-Haha, I haven’t seen Times New Roman used in quite a while

2.

Panel 1: *Kai stands back up, still looking down at Shio*
             Kai: "If I had to guess, I'd say that you attempted a Dual Lore spell, but it backfired..."           

             Kai: "Because of you"

- I suspected as much, though mostly because of Shio’s inability to use other magics or something.

3.

Panel 1: *Shio doesn't make eye contact and keeps his head down*
             Shio: "I'm sorry"           

             Shio: "I let you guys down..."

- It’s cool that he apologized.

4.
 
Panel 6: *Leaz glares at him*
             Leaz: "Its for being an idiot!"
   *It’s

5.
Panel 2: *Leaz lets go of his collar, looking imploringly at Shio*
             Leaz: "It was my idea to try the Dual Lore, not yours. So if anyones to blame, its me!"
   * it’s
- So Leaz isn’t a complete douche after all. Though for some reason I think of him as Malfoy.

6.
Panel 3: *Shio looks at Kai skeptically*
- Hmm... Suspicious indeed.



Offline Vacant

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #78 on: July 21, 2015, 07:12:46 PM »
Again, not much to say but great fights as usual.
I wonder, with magic are there Lore’s that deal with more specific tasks other than killing things? Like a magic location spell, or magic that changes hair color e.t.c Basically the magic  I see is all combat oriented. Even Shio’s water spells don’t have that sort of specific finesse of some magic you see popularly. Just curious.

Hey dude, sorry for the very late responses!  :ohmy:

Thanks for reading dude. Now in regards to the spells. The short answer is.....yes. There are spells in the lores of magic that are used for non-fighting purposes, however there isn't stuff like you'd see in harry potter or fairy tail (self scrubbing pans and stuff like that). The lores are primary designed to be combat oriented. I'm glad you picked up on it, since its a plot point that comes into play later on (magic being a primarily destructive force).


As for the map. That was just done on MS Paint :tongue: But before I did it, I sketched one out on paper before, so I had an idea of the geography. Maybe its something I could go into a bit more on my school of thought thread  :hmm:

Offline Vacant

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #79 on: July 21, 2015, 07:14:44 PM »
Oh!!! Folks a huge thing I need to ask. But for the story. Would you enjoy it more in a novel/prose form, as opposed to script?

This would be a big undertaking to change 33 chapters of work (and counting), but if it made for a better way of telling the story, then I would knuckle down and plough through it.

Offline Aozora

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #80 on: July 21, 2015, 11:20:11 PM »
Yeah I think novel prose would be great. But then again I don't want to ask you to change 34 chapters worth of work. That's some solid output man. Might be the most ever in MR history I think :hmm:
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #81 on: November 01, 2015, 06:00:08 PM »
1.
Quote
PAGE ELEVEN

Panel 1: *Shio, Leaz and Amber have closed ranks*
             Shio: "Who are you!?"           

Panel 2: *From the treeline, more men step forward, carrying flashlights and all in similar grubby fatigues. Many have weapons in their other hand*           

- I wonder how the flashlights work for some reason. An ore or magic? Random question I know, but I'm wondering if magic is common enough to be used in every day object or are resources still enough for 'technology' to still be the more practical way to achieve things.


2. 

Quote
Panel 3: *The man raises an axe in his hand menacingly*
             Man: "I don't take orders from you Bannon...."           

             Man: "...and I don't take disrespect either"

Panel 4: *Bannon seemingly unfazed by the gesture, waves him away as he continues walking*
             Bannon: "I ain't firewood so put that axe down Drayl"           

Hmm, the line didn't feel as threatening as it should for some reason



3.



Quote
Panel 1: *Amber stands looking at the two downed figures*
             Amber: "Next time you threaten a woman..."           

Panel 2: *She stands with a scarily fierce look on her face*
             Amber: "Make sure it's not one that can kick your ass with her hands tied behind her back!"           


*Claps hands

Now that was badass



4.
Quote
PAGE ELEVEN

Panel 1: *They both then turn to Shio*
             Leaz: "Guess soaking them to death isn't going to do much good"           



And this was just rude. I laughed man



5.
Spoiler

           
Panel 5: *A smile passes her face as it nears her*
             Tachi: "Sound Lore...."           

Panel 6: *Her fist meets out and punches the fireball*
             Tachi: "Verse of Discord!"


Eeeeeh!? Sound Lore magics?! Hacks! It must be! Just how many magics are out there. I share Kai's surprised to be honest.




I thought you would switch to prose for the later chapters, but I suppose that is planned for some massive rewrite? I suspected the girl would escape, but am really interested in knowing who the culprit is this time.


Really like the dynamic between the characters, and thank goodness things aren't too predicteable and follow a certain logic. Shio surrendering to find out information felt so real of a character thing to do I was really impressed. It's nice to see a shounen-esque story have characters with actual gray matter between their ears.

Taichi of the seven swords thing though... I excpected an epic sword battle for some reason.

This arc has been pretty long. I'm looking forward to seeing how things wind up. It's been pretty fun, but I particularly enjoyed the first arc and would love to see more of that sort of action!


Keep at it man



Offline legomaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #82 on: August 09, 2016, 06:45:18 PM »
General thoughts on chapter 35 and 36
Quote
Panel 5: *She looks surprised*
             Tachi: "Silent Sc--"           

             Shio: "Water Lore, Crashing Wave!!!"

Quote
   
Panel 2: *Suddenly, they all throw down their weapons*
             Bandits: "We surrender!"         
 

I found myself having difficulties imagining how these panels would be drawn. Maybe because events are described as to what's happening on the panel rather than as they're happening? Er... in past tense rather than continuous. It's easier to know how many actions fit with the dialogue when you write e.g

Shio *Hands stretching out* : Water Lore! 

or

Tachi *surprised*: Silent Sc-


I get what happens, but it felt weird as I first read it because all I saw was that she was surprised. Now I know she's being interrupted by Shio, but the flow felt wonky.
 
Just nit picking pretty much.


Otherwise it looks like it reached another lull for the action. There's some pretty good story content there, and it seems things are building up for the grand conclusion with the peace festival. It's great that Shio is finally an officer and not eternally in cadet mode. I haven't been keeping up so the others' are fading from memory so maybe some screen time would be nice for them in the future. Curious as to the Westlanders and their system of magic.

Also wondering how effective Sound Lore is. It seemed nasty that it could distort fire, but what about actual damage to a human body? I can imagine any number of horrible (and effective) effects it could have on enemies, so it felt weird how splash-damagy her attacks were.

Kai's effective use of Earth law was pretty cool. Made me think of Kakashi from Naruto.

Nice to see the story continuing! Keep at it.