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Author Topic: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion  (Read 9337 times)

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Offline Vacant

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #15 on: May 05, 2014, 12:27:59 PM »
Nah not really, in and out the same day, just need to heal an open wound which requires me to be off for a few weeks, Thanks dude, I appreciate the thoughts  :)

Yeah, he could of used her to get out unscathed, but then we wouldn't have a multi-chapter battle to enjoy! :P (Don't know about you, but I love and hate writing battle scenes, but I think this one turned out okay, we'll see)
And I totally agree, I hate the hot headed and/or clueless protagonist that so many shonen stories have, I prefer the Lelouch Lamprouge kind of style, Cool, calm and collected. Of course, Shio is not a dark character like Lelouch, he's very much a good guy.

Yeah, the reason I chose to visit his village was to give a bit more depth and understanding to Kai's character and why his relationship with Shio is how it is. Kai has come off a bit of a jackass so far, so we need to understand why to sympathize with him I think. Oh and the Village Head, holds Agent's in contempt and would refuse to hire them, due to Kai being one of them.

Shio has a psychological flaw, due to past events that causes him to obsess over the protection of others, particularly girls. It could almost be described as a mental defect, as it would override rational thinking. He is also a firm believer of what Academy stands for, which is the protection of other's. He's bought into their philosophy shall we say :P



 

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2014, 10:16:01 AM »
Damn it! I thought things were going well! Congrats on reaching your 10th chapter, and it's good to see you going at a steady clip.

Now let me raeg over useless Shio.

Oh by the way when Shio was taunting Mutou you accidentally made Keiji reprimand Shio as Shio himself >.> forgot which panel...

Offline Vacant

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2014, 05:19:59 PM »
Cheer's dude. I aim to post a chapter weekly, but with all this free time I have I've done three in four days! (And started work on another project but that's something very much in it's infancy so I'm saving it for later!) Seriously, with this latest chapter 12, we're about halfway through the first arc! although this first arc is a pretty short endeavour, not looking forward to writing out the 4th arc, it is going to be updwards of 100 chapters plus easily on its own.  But that's off topic, anyways :P

Ah, good spot man, I've rectified it now. My poor eye for proof reading strikes again!

And yeah, he can't win that easily, but Shio is always got a trick or two up his sleeve. (Not a shadow clone, he's not suddenly going to vanish and then pop out from a tree! :P)

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2014, 05:30:36 PM »
Yeah that would be cheap >.>

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2014, 07:16:08 AM »
"Thoughts on Chp 12 and 13"
Yes! Fist pump Yes! Oh man! You did so many things right. I could learn a thing or two from you. Especially with chapter 13, all the reveals and the dialogue was really interesting. But no chapter was greater than the other. Just good writing in general for both of these. Sure would read this manga. On the killing thing, you'd think to expect that sort of conversation from Naruto, but Kishimoto completely side-stepped that issue! It's totally a legitimate question for someone to ask. Even the great one piece side-steps mentioning what zoro or luffy are actually aiming for when cutting someone down. They don't explain their motivations for letting someone live, or rather if they even care about it. I don't want it to go gothic or dark or anything, but stop acting like you're wary about what the audience would think just because you have a realistic conversatoin.

*Takes a deep breath after rant

Kai explained his stance well. I think it'd be forced if he was still too abrasive over everything. Someone clearly went out staking their beliefs on their job and took down two experienced combatants. No matter what you think that's impressive. It's sad though, that I'm so cynical i don't find 'protecting the weak' to be that cool a phrase, but Shio holds the title pretty well. I like how he only collapsed when he delivered Amarissa to safety. I imagine he'd have been willing to try to fight a little more if the others didn't get taken out by his attack.

I thought it was being sidestepped, but it looks like his impossibru water magic proficiency has come up again. I thought it was the same old 'oh look he can do this spell!' thing from Mutou and Keiji, but Shio definitely did something suspicious by using that spell just like that.

The way mages and magic works is also pretty great. I have my theory that Shio is a mage and he somehow forgot everything, or he's definately related to one in the first place. Freaking Zami. Reveal your secrets already!

The governments of the countries is also truly interesting.

I think I have issues with some of the magic spell names. That last healing art seemed especially random, but no biggie there.
 
And even after all that juicy content, the chapter ends on that nice reveal. Tis was fun reading.

Keep writing

Offline Vacant

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2014, 10:42:38 AM »
Why thank you dude, I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter, I was cautious of it from turning into a chapter that was essentially an info drop, but I'm relieved it came off okay.

Ahh, Spell names! They are the often a sticking point for me. Every attack needs to sound cool to me, but I have trouble doing that. Happily the Lores of Magic are pretty short names for spells. The Warrior Arts are the ones that have trouble reigning in the words.

The Healing Arts spells was especially annoying in terms of a name as they all tend to be too "wordy"
But I don't like in Naruto for instance, where they have 500 different Fire Jutsu, then just one unnamed healing one :P I had the concept of naming all healing spells as prayers, hymns or Psalms, but they quickly all become a mouthful. Shall keep working on them!

And yeah, I totally get what you're saying.  When people in Shonen fight, they bust out swords, fireballs and earth shattering explosions......but they're only intending to knock out their opponent? I call shenanigans on that shizz :P

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #21 on: May 14, 2014, 11:14:35 AM »
True that.

Ao no exorcist has an interesting take on healing spells and what not. The same idea of reading from scriptures, perhaps that could be of interest

Offline Vacant

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #22 on: May 15, 2014, 08:42:04 AM »
Oh yeah, they read verses from religious scriptures for certain demons, I forgot about that.  I really liked that mechanic in the series.  Hmmm, damn I would steal that if I could :P Shall ponder about it and see.  Perhaps, it could be activated via meditation and a mantra of sorts?  Come to think of it I think that's included in blue exorcist too : P

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #23 on: May 15, 2014, 10:43:52 AM »
Well everything is cannon fodder for stories, especially with famous religious texts like The Bible. It'd have to fit with your world though.

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #24 on: May 15, 2014, 11:50:39 AM »
True dat! And yeah, well It probably would to be honest. I don't think it's come up just yet in my chapters but the religion the Academy follows is based off of Christianity, or it's creation story at least (Single Deity creates the world). So I reckon I could build upon it.

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #25 on: May 15, 2014, 01:16:32 PM »
You do know you can go cheap on creating some of these backstory things right? Just google a few good verses here, some greek latin god names there. So long as it adds meat to the story go for it. Fine tuning can be done later haha.

I'd like to see those true mages though. sound interesting

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #26 on: May 19, 2014, 08:10:48 AM »
Quote
Panel 3: *His head slumps down*
             Shio: "I should've known she wouldn't stay put. She never listened to what I told her to do"           

             Shio: "I should of told the Professor she was there, I should done something..."

Panel 4: *A sad smile crosses his lips*
             Shio: "Heh, they called me a genius, Yuki did too...."           

             Shio: "And yet I couldn't even predict the actions of a 15 year old girl"

Panel 5: *Shio then raises his head and looks at Amarissa*
             Shio: "I blamed myself for her death. It made me think I couldn't help anyone"           

             Shio: "But then...I saved you"

Yes. Exactly this, and I don't pity him at all. If he really was her friend in the first place, he'd know she would do something so risky, I mean she didn't care about any reprimands and followed him on the ship!

It's not the greatest tragic scene, but I think personally on her side it must've been terrifying, which is sad. 3rd years don't know any magic at all? If she died thinking Shio would save her then that'd be even worse.

Well, looks like I hate yet another main character haha. Shio went down several notches in my book.

Nice chapter. It wasn't a great wham or anything, but it's a necessary chapter in his life  I guess. As a side note I wonder what Agents are like in general. Flying around in airhships and having control of magic and technology... I wonder if they are mostly dutiful or if they get proud?

Is there any moral code for gaining personal riches as an Agent?

Offline Vacant

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #27 on: May 19, 2014, 09:42:49 AM »
                     Yeah, to be honest I've been looking at the chapter and was in half a mind to re-write it. I wasn't happy with how it turned out. The main thing is the Flashback wasn't meant to be anywhere near that long! I think it's 3/4's of the chapter, which I wasn't intending to do. But I trimmed pretty much all I could from it. There is a piece I deliberately didn't use just after he reaches her and her final words, but that is visited later on. Ah well.
                    It's funny you should say that, because one of the lines I omitted was Yuki saying he would rescue her if she was ever in any danger with a wink :P But I left it out because it felt too forced how I wrote it, as it was too close to her death.

                    And yeah, you should see the documents I have about the Academy, I think I know it's history and mechanics more than my own places of Education!!! To break it down simply, Agents enroll at Academy as Cadets. The Standard training is for 6 years. 99% of Agents are enrolled at the age of 12 so they graduate at 18. In the first 2 years, they mostly study the Academy philosophy, standard Academic subjects (Maths,English, History etc.)  as well as work on conditioning to get into shape. They then take an Exam, which upon passing they get to the 3rd year. Once in the third year they learn Combat, train with all kinds of weapons and learn the basics of Magic. After passing the 3rd year exam, they go on to the 4th year, where they focus heavily on combat and magic. This is again followed by the end of year exam. After passing the 4th year exam, the Agents then use their final two years to study specialized fields they choose as well as hone their magic ability.

                   Although they are taught to be noble, selfless and kind, they are above all else Human. There are some who are arrogant, stubborn and untrustworthy. Even the higher up's are not immune to this, which shall be explored later. The image I try to portray with the Academy is although it is supposed to be all innocent and good. There are some things that contradict their virtues and they are not perfect. One of the key points of this ties into what you said as well. Agent's can't take payments from other people, instead the person who requests a job pays the Academy. The Agent's are paid a wage by Academy. This leads some people to be sceptical of Agent's and to consider them simply as mercenaries.
 
 

Offline Vacant

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2014, 09:56:53 AM »
Oh yeah, by the way I totally stole your chapter list with links idea! Hope you don't mind, but it really makes it easier to find chapters now they're listed in the first post.

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Heavy Rayne Manga sidenotes, Character info, general discussion
« Reply #29 on: May 19, 2014, 09:59:34 AM »
You really have it all developed don't you? Nice! And  I notice you're watching SAO. *Looks disapproving haha

I'm not really feeling sympathy for Yuki so I doubt there's a different way to write that chapter.

I thought there'd be repsite for a muscle head in The Academy. Looks like you need smarts as well as brawn. And all of them get their magic activated? Interesting.


EDIT: Haha, it's not my idea, it's just the better way to do things. You've got to make reading your chapters as easy as possible for the reader.