Recent Posts1
Develop Your Story / Re: Looking for feedback
« Last post by fear0knight on June 25, 2022, 01:08:12 PM »Hey,
Thank you for your feedback it was very helpful.
I have edited chapters 1 and 2.
Chapter 1 script draft 2
Chapter 2 script darft 2
Thank you for your feedback it was very helpful.
I have edited chapters 1 and 2.
Chapter 1 script draft 2
Spoiler
Page 1:
In a large colosseum
Takes up a full-page
Eleanor's face crying out in pain while several images are around her face.
These images are her perspective of her being attacked. E.g. Getting hit by a mace.
Mage casting fireball, getting stabbed by a great sword.
Eleanor: AHHHH!!!! Someone save me. Help me!!!!!
Page 2:
large bedroom with en-suite bathroom. Early morning (3.30 am) Arthur and Camilla are sleeping
Panel 1:
Arthur suddenly wakes up from his sleep. He’s drenched in sweat from the dream he just had.
Arthur: Gasp (heavy breathing)
Panel 2:
Arthur rushes out of bed covering his mouth
Panel 3:
Arthur enters the en-suite bathroom.
Panel 4:
He’s leaning over a sink throwing up
Arthur: Blech
Panel 5:
Arthur looks into the bathroom mirror. Face wet from the sweat.
Arthur: Gasp (heavy breathing)
Page 3:
Panel 1:
Arthur is back in the bedroom and is getting dressed.
Camilla is looking slightly awake while sitting up
Arthur: Sorry for waking you.
Camilla: Come back to bed.
Arthur: I’m sorry but I can’t, I’ve got work to do
Panel 2:
Camilla is looking at the clock. While Arthur does up his jacket.
Camilla: What work It's half three in the morning
Arthur: There is something important that needs doing.
Panel 3:
Arthur walks over to Camilla
Arthur: I should be free for dinner if you wish to join me.
Camilla: Fine,Just don’t be late
Panel 4:
Arthur leans into Camilla to kiss her on the forehead
Panel 5:
Camilla: Pushes him away
Page 5:
Panel 1:
Camilla making an EWW face while Arthur stands over the bed
Camilla: EWW your breath sticks. Have a mint or something
Panel 2:
Arthur opens the bedroom door to leave the room
Panel 3:
As Arthur is about to leave the room he turns to Camilla. Who is now fast asleep again
Panel 4:
Suddenly Arthur’s face turns pale as he can hear screaming
Eleanor: AHHHH!!!!!
Page 6:
Panel 1:
Arthur is now in a hallway with 4 rooms on the left side. The Right side has several windows and plant pots. Two guards in power armour are at each end of the hallway. Seeing Arthur the guards stand at attention.
The power armour is black with a shoulder cape on its right arm. A three-barrel gun is attached to the left arm. In the right hand is a halberd. Blue energy is coursing through the weapon.
Arthur Thinking: Her screaming is getting worse.
Panel 2:
Arthur walks through the hallway two of the guards are now following him. Outside of the window, you can see a sci city
Panel 3:
Arthur Yarwing
Arthur thinking: I really need a coffee
Panel 4:
Arthur breaths into his hand
Arthur thinking: And some mints.
Page 7:
Panel 1:
Arthur is now in a small room with no windows and only one door. In the room, there is a table with a chess board. Arthur and a hooded figure are sitting at the table playing chess
Horns are coming out of the hooded figure hood
Panel 2:
Arthur's head in this hands
Arthur: I can still help her cry for help even now
Figure: Check
Panel 3:
The figure looks up at Arthur while Arthur's head is still in his hands.
Figure: I can save her, you just merely just need to ask.
Panel 4:
A knock at the door
Panel 5:
A maid with a trolly enters the room
Page 8:
Panel 1:
The maid is handing over the coffee to Arthur
Maid: Your Coffee and mints your grace
Arthur: That will be all, Thank you
Panel 2:
The maid bows to the Arthur as he picks up the coffee
Panel 3:
The maid leaves the room however the hooded figure is not their
Maid thinking: Is the king talking to himself again
Panel 4:
Arthur sips the coffee
Page 9:
Panel 1:
Flashes to Eleanor screaming as she is being hit with a fireBall
Eleanor: AHHHHHH!!!!!, Someone save me... Please
Panel 2:
Arthur turns to the side to throw up
Arthur: Blech
Panel 3:
Arthur's hand on his heart catching this breath
Arthur: Gasp (heavy breathing)
Page 10:
Panel 1:
Arthur facing the figure
Arthur: Please… Please save her
Panel 2:
The Figure has a creepy smile on his face. Horns can be seen coming out of where his eyes should be. There is a single eye in the middle of his forehead
Figure: Seeing as you asked so nicely
Panel 3:
The figure snaps his fingers
Page 11:
Panel 1:
Bird-eye view of the room - A large throne room full of guests.
Panel 2:
Four girls chatting. Including Eleanor
Noble 1: How is your sister doing? I heard that she defeated the demon king.
Noble 2: I heard that most of the party got killed.
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks a little worried with the news of her sister losing her friends
Eleanor: She's doing well… At least that's what she told me in her letters
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks a bit down as her sister is not here
Eleanor: I was hoping she would arrive back in time for tonight.
Noble 3: It's a real shame that she's missing her birthday
Panel 5:
Eleanor looks hopeful
Eleanor: I'm sure farther will arrange something special for her
Page 12
Panel 1:
The king is tapping this glass with a fork to get the guess attention
Eleanor waving bye to her friends as she heads off
Eleanor That is my cue to go, Chat soon
Panel 2:
Eleanor is standing next to the king and queen. The whole room is watching them
King: I would like to start by thanking everyone for coming here tonight to celebrate. We have had a tough couple of years with the Demon Queen Lilith pillaging our land
Panel 4:
King: But I'm happy to announce that those years are behind us, As the Demon Queen was slain just the other day, by my beloved daughter, the royal hero, Persephone.
Panel 5:
Raising His glass
King: Let's all raise a glass to the fallen, to the hero and to the future.
Page 13:
Panel 1:
The crowd raised their glasses in celebration
Panel 2:
King: Sadly Persephone is still on her way home so can’t make it tonight but…
Panel 3:
Eleanor is blushing . The king's arms are showing her off
King: …My eldest daughter Eleanor is here celebrating her 18th birthday
Panel 4:
The king gesturing to the crowd with his arms
King: So which young nobleman would like to take my daughter's hand for the first dance of the night?
Page 14:
Panel 1:
A young noble steps forward
Panel 2:
The noble bows to Eleanor while offering his hand for a dance.
Noble: May I have the pleasure of having the first dance.
Panel 3:
Eleanor Smiles and takes the guy's hand
Eleanor: You may
Panel 4:
The two of the head to the centre of the hall
Page 15:
Panel 1:
The crowd has crowded around them
Panel 2:
The two of them are dancing
Panel 3:
Eleanor and the noble are smiling while dancing
Page 16:
Panel 1:
Eleanor and the noble are spinning (dancing). Eleanor sees a maid chatting with the king and queen
Panel 2:
The maid with the king and queen leave the room
Panel 3:
Close up on the king and queen's faces. They look annoyed
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks a bit concerned
Eleanor Thinking: I hope nothing wrong
Page 17:
Panel 1:
It's the next morning the king and queen are having breakfast. Eleanor enters the room yawning. The king and queen are chatting about last night.
Queen: I can’t believe the nerve of her…
Eleanor yawning: Morrnning
Panel 2:
The king and queen quickly stop their conversation.
King: Morning dear, did you sleep well last night?
Queen: Morning, Please join us
Panel 3:
Eleanor is curious about what she just overheard. Eleanor walked to the table
Eleanor: I sleep great thanks, what were you two talking about?
Panel 4:
Eleanor is now sitting down. A servant is passing over a fruit bowl to Eleanor
Queen: It’s nothing dear. Here have some fruit
Eleanor: Thank you, mother.
Page 18:
Panel 1:
Persephone enters the room Smiling.
Persephone looks almost the same as Eleanor (Showing that they are twins) however her hairstyle is different.
Persephone: Good morning
Panel 2:
The king and queen look displeased
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks overwhelmed with happiness
Eleanor: Sis, when did you get back?
Page 19:
Panel 1:
Eleanor hugs Persephone but Persephone is not hugging her back
Persephone: I got back late last night.
Eleanor: I missed you so much
Panel 2:
Persephone now hugging Eleanor her face looks like is hiding her anger
Persephone: I missed you too, Sorry I missed last night.
Panel 3:
Persephone and Eleanor are now looking at each other. Both girls are smiling
Persephone: So what did I miss last night? Did anything happen?
Page 20:
Panel 1:
The king, queen, Persephone and Eleanor are sitting around the table. Empty food plates are in front of each of them. Eleanor has her arms out wide
Eleanor: And you should have seen the cake. It was huge. I saved you a slice as well.
Queen: It's your favourite. Chocolate.
Panel 2:
Persephone hides her anger behind a smile.
Persephone: It sounds like a wonderful evening, It’s shame that I missed it
Panel 3:
The king looks displeased
King: Well it can’t be helped. Just be sure to come to make it to the next one.
Panel 4:
Persephone looks annoyed
Persephone: Sorry father, Next time I will ask the demon queen to rearrange her invasion.
Page 21:
Panel 1:
The king is angry
King: Don’t get lippy with me, young lady. You might be a hero but you're still my daughter. You have a royal dutyto attend these events
Panel 2:
The Queen is looking displeased
Queen: You really are an ungrateful child, Why can’t you behave like your sister?
Panel 3:
Persephone slams the table
Persephone: I'm sorry. That I’m not the daughter you wanted.
Page 22:
Panel 1:
Eleanor looks upset
Eleanor: Stop this. Please stop fighting, why can’t we all get along for once.
Panel 2:
The king and queen look stunned by Eleanor's action
King: Yes you're quite right
Queen: Persephone apologise at once to your sister
Panel 3:
Persephone still annoyed
Persephone: Sorry
Panel 4:
The king passing his cup over the table
King: Persephone mind grabbing me some water
Queen: Make that two dear
Page 23:
Panel 1:
Persephone is pissed off
Persephone: We have servants to do that,
Panel 2:
The king with a serious face:
King: I asked you to do it. Or would you prefer a command?
Panel 3:
Persephone is still annoyed but has a fake smile on her face
Persephone sarcastically: Certainly farther,
Persephone: Eleanor what one as well?
Panel 4:
Eleanor smiling and waving her hands no
Eleanor: I'm good, thank you
Page 24:
Panel 1:
Persephone pouring the drink back towards us.
Eleanor facing her mum and dad and they are facing her
Eleanor: Could you two be nice please it’s been too long since we have all been together
Queen: Your right dear
King: I guess I have been a bit hard
Panel 2:
Hand passing a cup to the king
Page 25:
Panel 1:
They are all sitting around the table
Eleanor: Oh I know, let's have toast
Panel 2:
Eleanor raising her cup
Eleanor: To all being reunited again at last, and to you sis for saving the world,
Panel 3:
The king and queen are about to drink
Eleanor: Oh and to good health
Panel 4:
Persephone smiling and looking at Eleanor
Persephone: you speech still needs work
Panel 5:
Eleanor smiling back at Persephone
Eleanor: It wasn't that bad was it. What do you think father?
Page 26:
Panel 1:
Eleanor smiling face turning to face the king
Panel 2:
Eleanor's face looks shocked, small blood splatter on her cheek
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks worried, Screaming
Eleanor: mother father!!!!!!
Page 27:
Panel 1:
The king and queen are facing both Eleanor and Persephone The faces are covered in blood.
Blood is coming out of their eyes and mouth
Panel 2:
A small panel showing the cup of water being spilt over
Page 28:
Panel 1:
Eleanor is sitting in a hallway opposite a door. Outside the door are 2 guards.
Eleanor's head is in her hands the moon can be seen in the sky from the window
Panel 2:
Close up on Eleanor sitting down
Eleanor thinking: Why... Why is this happening? Everything was meant to be back to how it was.
Panel 3:
Persephone leaving the room
Panel 4:
Persephone sits next to Eleanor
Panel 5:
Persephone's arm around Eleanor
Persephone: I’ve used healing magic to try and help with the pain. But it's not working against the poison.
Page 29:
Panel 1:
Eleanor looking at Persephone tears are running down her face
Eleanor: Why.. Why is this happening sis
Panel 2:
Persephone: Followers of the demon queen are probably behind this
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks worried, Persephone now hugging Eleanor
Panel 4:
Persephone: Don’t worry I will protect you, I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise
Panel 5:
The magic spell is behind Eleanor's head. Eleanor's head buried into Persephone's shoulder
Persephone: This will help you sleep
Persephone: Sleep
Page 30:
Panel 1:
Eleanor bedroom
Eleanor wakes up in her Bed (springing forward)
Panel 2:
Eleanor’s hand on her head
Eleanor thinking: Aww my head is pounding
Panel 3:
Eleanor leaves her room
Panel 4:
Eleanor standing outside her room. No one is visible
Page 31:
Panel 1:
Eleanor looking worried
Eleanor: Hello, Anybody here?
Eleanor thinking: where is everyone
Panel 2:
Eleanor remembers Persephone mentioning the Followers of the demon queen(Page 29- Panel 2)
Panel 3:
Eleanor looking really worried
Eleanor thinking: I need to find Sis
Panel 4:
Eleanor running through the hallway
Panel 5:
Eleanor opens a door. Eleanor looking nervous
Eleanor: Sis you in here … something …..
Page 32:
Panel 1:
Persephone's bedroom (smaller than Eleanor bedroom) Eleanor standing in the doorway
Looking at Persephone and the noble that Eleanor danced with. The noble has a dagger in his hand.
Eleanor: ….doesn't feel right
Panel 2:
The noble head turns to face Eleanor smiling
Noble: Eleanor … I’m
Panel 3:
Persephone grabs the noble’s hand
Panel 4:
The noble turns to face Persephone with shock on his face
Page 33:
Panel 1:
The noble dagger is in his heart. This hand is still holding the dagger with Persephone hands holding his. Fast move action around the dagger as Persephone cast magic to help stab the noble.
Persephone Shouting: Swift wind
Panel 2:
Persephone runs to Eleanor. The noble body falling over. Persephone has the dagger in her hand.
Panel 3:
Persephone hugs Eleanor. Eleanor looks in shock
Persephone: Thank the gods you're safe.
Eleanor: Sis … wh…ats (gulp) What's ..going.. on
Page 34:
Panel 1:
Persephone looks Eleanor in the eyes, Eleanor is still looking at the body
Persephone: I need you to listen
Persephone Shouting: Eleanor, Eleanor!!
Panel 2:
Eleanor looking at Persephone, Eleanor is looking pale
Eleanor: Ye... Yes Sis
Persephone: We don’t have much time. I need you to listen closely.
Panel 3:
Persephone: General Judes has staged a coup,
Panel 4:
Persephone looks at the floor
Persephone: Mother and father are dead and we are next.
Panel 5:
Eleanor shakes in disbelief. She looks scared and pale
Eleanor: Dead - No it can’t be.
Eleanor shouting: That can’t be true!
Page 35:
Panel 1:
Persephone looks Eleanor in the eyes again
Persephone: We have to get out of here now.
Panel 2:
Persephone hands the knife over to Eleanor
Panel 3:
Eleanor pushes the knife away
Eleanor: I .. I can’t
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks at the body again
Eleanor: That was the guy I danced with
Panel 5:
Persephone also looking at the body
Persephone: He was going to kill you but he mistook me for you
Page 36:
Panel 1:
Eleanor: But... Why would he want...
Persephone: … are you forgetting that you next in line for the throne
Panel 2:
Heavy Footsteps can be heard rushing towards them in the hallway
Panel 3:
Persephone hands the knife over to Eleanor again
Persephone: Please, take it. It will make me feel better
Panel 4:
Eleanor grabs the knife but is unsure how to hold it
Eleanor: Ok, but what will you use
Page 37:
Panel 1:
As Eleanor takes the knife she cut Persephone's hand
Eleanor: Sis are you hurt
Panel 2:
Persephone Smiles at Eleanor
Persephone: I’m fine, it's just a scratch
Panel 3:
Persephone pick up her sword and the corner of the room
Persephone: Anyway, I’ll be using my good friend here
Panel 4:
The door burst open with several armed knights now in the doorway.
Page 37:
Panel 1:
Eleanor turns to face the knight. She looks terrified while holding her knife in front of her. Persephone is wielding a sword.
Eleanor: Sis help
Persephone Shouting: Swift wind
Panel 2:
Persephone darting towards Eleanor
Panel 3.
Eleanor lying with her back on the floor. Persephone on top of her. Her sword pierced into Eleanor’s stomach.
Eleanor has tears running in her eyes and is screaming in pain
Eleanor: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Page 38:
Panel 1:
Persephone looks glad and relieved
Persephone: Guards help before she escapes
Panel 2:
Eleanor trying to speak
Eleanor: Sis, Wh...
Panel 3:
Persephone twist the sword as Eleanor tries to speak
Eleanor screaming in pain
Eleanor: AHHHHH!!!!!
Panel 4:
Persephone and the guard captain look at each other. The captain is kneeling, Persephone has a smile on her face
Captain: Thank the gods we were in time to help my queen
Page 39:
Page 1:
Eleanor coughing up blood with tears in her eyes
Eleanor: Wh..y... Sis…
Page 2:
Persephone and the captain stand up while Persephone takes her sword out of Eleanor.
Page 3:
Persephone casts heal on Eleanor
Persephone: Can’t have you dying on me.
Persephone: Heal
Page 4:
Persephone pointing to the guards
Persephone: Take her to the dungeon. I’ll deal with her soon
Page 5:
The guards drag Eleanor.
Eleanor: W..hy.. Si..s…
Page 40:
Page 1:
Persephone and the captain standing next to each other. The other guards have left
Captain: Most of her supporters have been dealt with. Though a few still remain.
Persephone: Have your best men deal with them.
Captain: They are already on it
Page 2:
Persephone Smiling
Persephone: Perfect, Now I can finally get the reward I deserve for saving the world
In a large colosseum
Takes up a full-page
Eleanor's face crying out in pain while several images are around her face.
These images are her perspective of her being attacked. E.g. Getting hit by a mace.
Mage casting fireball, getting stabbed by a great sword.
Eleanor: AHHHH!!!! Someone save me. Help me!!!!!
Page 2:
large bedroom with en-suite bathroom. Early morning (3.30 am) Arthur and Camilla are sleeping
Panel 1:
Arthur suddenly wakes up from his sleep. He’s drenched in sweat from the dream he just had.
Arthur: Gasp (heavy breathing)
Panel 2:
Arthur rushes out of bed covering his mouth
Panel 3:
Arthur enters the en-suite bathroom.
Panel 4:
He’s leaning over a sink throwing up
Arthur: Blech
Panel 5:
Arthur looks into the bathroom mirror. Face wet from the sweat.
Arthur: Gasp (heavy breathing)
Page 3:
Panel 1:
Arthur is back in the bedroom and is getting dressed.
Camilla is looking slightly awake while sitting up
Arthur: Sorry for waking you.
Camilla: Come back to bed.
Arthur: I’m sorry but I can’t, I’ve got work to do
Panel 2:
Camilla is looking at the clock. While Arthur does up his jacket.
Camilla: What work It's half three in the morning
Arthur: There is something important that needs doing.
Panel 3:
Arthur walks over to Camilla
Arthur: I should be free for dinner if you wish to join me.
Camilla: Fine,Just don’t be late
Panel 4:
Arthur leans into Camilla to kiss her on the forehead
Panel 5:
Camilla: Pushes him away
Page 5:
Panel 1:
Camilla making an EWW face while Arthur stands over the bed
Camilla: EWW your breath sticks. Have a mint or something
Panel 2:
Arthur opens the bedroom door to leave the room
Panel 3:
As Arthur is about to leave the room he turns to Camilla. Who is now fast asleep again
Panel 4:
Suddenly Arthur’s face turns pale as he can hear screaming
Eleanor: AHHHH!!!!!
Page 6:
Panel 1:
Arthur is now in a hallway with 4 rooms on the left side. The Right side has several windows and plant pots. Two guards in power armour are at each end of the hallway. Seeing Arthur the guards stand at attention.
The power armour is black with a shoulder cape on its right arm. A three-barrel gun is attached to the left arm. In the right hand is a halberd. Blue energy is coursing through the weapon.
Arthur Thinking: Her screaming is getting worse.
Panel 2:
Arthur walks through the hallway two of the guards are now following him. Outside of the window, you can see a sci city
Panel 3:
Arthur Yarwing
Arthur thinking: I really need a coffee
Panel 4:
Arthur breaths into his hand
Arthur thinking: And some mints.
Page 7:
Panel 1:
Arthur is now in a small room with no windows and only one door. In the room, there is a table with a chess board. Arthur and a hooded figure are sitting at the table playing chess
Horns are coming out of the hooded figure hood
Panel 2:
Arthur's head in this hands
Arthur: I can still help her cry for help even now
Figure: Check
Panel 3:
The figure looks up at Arthur while Arthur's head is still in his hands.
Figure: I can save her, you just merely just need to ask.
Panel 4:
A knock at the door
Panel 5:
A maid with a trolly enters the room
Page 8:
Panel 1:
The maid is handing over the coffee to Arthur
Maid: Your Coffee and mints your grace
Arthur: That will be all, Thank you
Panel 2:
The maid bows to the Arthur as he picks up the coffee
Panel 3:
The maid leaves the room however the hooded figure is not their
Maid thinking: Is the king talking to himself again
Panel 4:
Arthur sips the coffee
Page 9:
Panel 1:
Flashes to Eleanor screaming as she is being hit with a fireBall
Eleanor: AHHHHHH!!!!!, Someone save me... Please
Panel 2:
Arthur turns to the side to throw up
Arthur: Blech
Panel 3:
Arthur's hand on his heart catching this breath
Arthur: Gasp (heavy breathing)
Page 10:
Panel 1:
Arthur facing the figure
Arthur: Please… Please save her
Panel 2:
The Figure has a creepy smile on his face. Horns can be seen coming out of where his eyes should be. There is a single eye in the middle of his forehead
Figure: Seeing as you asked so nicely
Panel 3:
The figure snaps his fingers
Page 11:
Panel 1:
Bird-eye view of the room - A large throne room full of guests.
Panel 2:
Four girls chatting. Including Eleanor
Noble 1: How is your sister doing? I heard that she defeated the demon king.
Noble 2: I heard that most of the party got killed.
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks a little worried with the news of her sister losing her friends
Eleanor: She's doing well… At least that's what she told me in her letters
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks a bit down as her sister is not here
Eleanor: I was hoping she would arrive back in time for tonight.
Noble 3: It's a real shame that she's missing her birthday
Panel 5:
Eleanor looks hopeful
Eleanor: I'm sure farther will arrange something special for her
Page 12
Panel 1:
The king is tapping this glass with a fork to get the guess attention
Eleanor waving bye to her friends as she heads off
Eleanor That is my cue to go, Chat soon
Panel 2:
Eleanor is standing next to the king and queen. The whole room is watching them
King: I would like to start by thanking everyone for coming here tonight to celebrate. We have had a tough couple of years with the Demon Queen Lilith pillaging our land
Panel 4:
King: But I'm happy to announce that those years are behind us, As the Demon Queen was slain just the other day, by my beloved daughter, the royal hero, Persephone.
Panel 5:
Raising His glass
King: Let's all raise a glass to the fallen, to the hero and to the future.
Page 13:
Panel 1:
The crowd raised their glasses in celebration
Panel 2:
King: Sadly Persephone is still on her way home so can’t make it tonight but…
Panel 3:
Eleanor is blushing . The king's arms are showing her off
King: …My eldest daughter Eleanor is here celebrating her 18th birthday
Panel 4:
The king gesturing to the crowd with his arms
King: So which young nobleman would like to take my daughter's hand for the first dance of the night?
Page 14:
Panel 1:
A young noble steps forward
Panel 2:
The noble bows to Eleanor while offering his hand for a dance.
Noble: May I have the pleasure of having the first dance.
Panel 3:
Eleanor Smiles and takes the guy's hand
Eleanor: You may
Panel 4:
The two of the head to the centre of the hall
Page 15:
Panel 1:
The crowd has crowded around them
Panel 2:
The two of them are dancing
Panel 3:
Eleanor and the noble are smiling while dancing
Page 16:
Panel 1:
Eleanor and the noble are spinning (dancing). Eleanor sees a maid chatting with the king and queen
Panel 2:
The maid with the king and queen leave the room
Panel 3:
Close up on the king and queen's faces. They look annoyed
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks a bit concerned
Eleanor Thinking: I hope nothing wrong
Page 17:
Panel 1:
It's the next morning the king and queen are having breakfast. Eleanor enters the room yawning. The king and queen are chatting about last night.
Queen: I can’t believe the nerve of her…
Eleanor yawning: Morrnning
Panel 2:
The king and queen quickly stop their conversation.
King: Morning dear, did you sleep well last night?
Queen: Morning, Please join us
Panel 3:
Eleanor is curious about what she just overheard. Eleanor walked to the table
Eleanor: I sleep great thanks, what were you two talking about?
Panel 4:
Eleanor is now sitting down. A servant is passing over a fruit bowl to Eleanor
Queen: It’s nothing dear. Here have some fruit
Eleanor: Thank you, mother.
Page 18:
Panel 1:
Persephone enters the room Smiling.
Persephone looks almost the same as Eleanor (Showing that they are twins) however her hairstyle is different.
Persephone: Good morning
Panel 2:
The king and queen look displeased
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks overwhelmed with happiness
Eleanor: Sis, when did you get back?
Page 19:
Panel 1:
Eleanor hugs Persephone but Persephone is not hugging her back
Persephone: I got back late last night.
Eleanor: I missed you so much
Panel 2:
Persephone now hugging Eleanor her face looks like is hiding her anger
Persephone: I missed you too, Sorry I missed last night.
Panel 3:
Persephone and Eleanor are now looking at each other. Both girls are smiling
Persephone: So what did I miss last night? Did anything happen?
Page 20:
Panel 1:
The king, queen, Persephone and Eleanor are sitting around the table. Empty food plates are in front of each of them. Eleanor has her arms out wide
Eleanor: And you should have seen the cake. It was huge. I saved you a slice as well.
Queen: It's your favourite. Chocolate.
Panel 2:
Persephone hides her anger behind a smile.
Persephone: It sounds like a wonderful evening, It’s shame that I missed it
Panel 3:
The king looks displeased
King: Well it can’t be helped. Just be sure to come to make it to the next one.
Panel 4:
Persephone looks annoyed
Persephone: Sorry father, Next time I will ask the demon queen to rearrange her invasion.
Page 21:
Panel 1:
The king is angry
King: Don’t get lippy with me, young lady. You might be a hero but you're still my daughter. You have a royal dutyto attend these events
Panel 2:
The Queen is looking displeased
Queen: You really are an ungrateful child, Why can’t you behave like your sister?
Panel 3:
Persephone slams the table
Persephone: I'm sorry. That I’m not the daughter you wanted.
Page 22:
Panel 1:
Eleanor looks upset
Eleanor: Stop this. Please stop fighting, why can’t we all get along for once.
Panel 2:
The king and queen look stunned by Eleanor's action
King: Yes you're quite right
Queen: Persephone apologise at once to your sister
Panel 3:
Persephone still annoyed
Persephone: Sorry
Panel 4:
The king passing his cup over the table
King: Persephone mind grabbing me some water
Queen: Make that two dear
Page 23:
Panel 1:
Persephone is pissed off
Persephone: We have servants to do that,
Panel 2:
The king with a serious face:
King: I asked you to do it. Or would you prefer a command?
Panel 3:
Persephone is still annoyed but has a fake smile on her face
Persephone sarcastically: Certainly farther,
Persephone: Eleanor what one as well?
Panel 4:
Eleanor smiling and waving her hands no
Eleanor: I'm good, thank you
Page 24:
Panel 1:
Persephone pouring the drink back towards us.
Eleanor facing her mum and dad and they are facing her
Eleanor: Could you two be nice please it’s been too long since we have all been together
Queen: Your right dear
King: I guess I have been a bit hard
Panel 2:
Hand passing a cup to the king
Page 25:
Panel 1:
They are all sitting around the table
Eleanor: Oh I know, let's have toast
Panel 2:
Eleanor raising her cup
Eleanor: To all being reunited again at last, and to you sis for saving the world,
Panel 3:
The king and queen are about to drink
Eleanor: Oh and to good health
Panel 4:
Persephone smiling and looking at Eleanor
Persephone: you speech still needs work
Panel 5:
Eleanor smiling back at Persephone
Eleanor: It wasn't that bad was it. What do you think father?
Page 26:
Panel 1:
Eleanor smiling face turning to face the king
Panel 2:
Eleanor's face looks shocked, small blood splatter on her cheek
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks worried, Screaming
Eleanor: mother father!!!!!!
Page 27:
Panel 1:
The king and queen are facing both Eleanor and Persephone The faces are covered in blood.
Blood is coming out of their eyes and mouth
Panel 2:
A small panel showing the cup of water being spilt over
Page 28:
Panel 1:
Eleanor is sitting in a hallway opposite a door. Outside the door are 2 guards.
Eleanor's head is in her hands the moon can be seen in the sky from the window
Panel 2:
Close up on Eleanor sitting down
Eleanor thinking: Why... Why is this happening? Everything was meant to be back to how it was.
Panel 3:
Persephone leaving the room
Panel 4:
Persephone sits next to Eleanor
Panel 5:
Persephone's arm around Eleanor
Persephone: I’ve used healing magic to try and help with the pain. But it's not working against the poison.
Page 29:
Panel 1:
Eleanor looking at Persephone tears are running down her face
Eleanor: Why.. Why is this happening sis
Panel 2:
Persephone: Followers of the demon queen are probably behind this
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks worried, Persephone now hugging Eleanor
Panel 4:
Persephone: Don’t worry I will protect you, I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise
Panel 5:
The magic spell is behind Eleanor's head. Eleanor's head buried into Persephone's shoulder
Persephone: This will help you sleep
Persephone: Sleep
Page 30:
Panel 1:
Eleanor bedroom
Eleanor wakes up in her Bed (springing forward)
Panel 2:
Eleanor’s hand on her head
Eleanor thinking: Aww my head is pounding
Panel 3:
Eleanor leaves her room
Panel 4:
Eleanor standing outside her room. No one is visible
Page 31:
Panel 1:
Eleanor looking worried
Eleanor: Hello, Anybody here?
Eleanor thinking: where is everyone
Panel 2:
Eleanor remembers Persephone mentioning the Followers of the demon queen(Page 29- Panel 2)
Panel 3:
Eleanor looking really worried
Eleanor thinking: I need to find Sis
Panel 4:
Eleanor running through the hallway
Panel 5:
Eleanor opens a door. Eleanor looking nervous
Eleanor: Sis you in here … something …..
Page 32:
Panel 1:
Persephone's bedroom (smaller than Eleanor bedroom) Eleanor standing in the doorway
Looking at Persephone and the noble that Eleanor danced with. The noble has a dagger in his hand.
Eleanor: ….doesn't feel right
Panel 2:
The noble head turns to face Eleanor smiling
Noble: Eleanor … I’m
Panel 3:
Persephone grabs the noble’s hand
Panel 4:
The noble turns to face Persephone with shock on his face
Page 33:
Panel 1:
The noble dagger is in his heart. This hand is still holding the dagger with Persephone hands holding his. Fast move action around the dagger as Persephone cast magic to help stab the noble.
Persephone Shouting: Swift wind
Panel 2:
Persephone runs to Eleanor. The noble body falling over. Persephone has the dagger in her hand.
Panel 3:
Persephone hugs Eleanor. Eleanor looks in shock
Persephone: Thank the gods you're safe.
Eleanor: Sis … wh…ats (gulp) What's ..going.. on
Page 34:
Panel 1:
Persephone looks Eleanor in the eyes, Eleanor is still looking at the body
Persephone: I need you to listen
Persephone Shouting: Eleanor, Eleanor!!
Panel 2:
Eleanor looking at Persephone, Eleanor is looking pale
Eleanor: Ye... Yes Sis
Persephone: We don’t have much time. I need you to listen closely.
Panel 3:
Persephone: General Judes has staged a coup,
Panel 4:
Persephone looks at the floor
Persephone: Mother and father are dead and we are next.
Panel 5:
Eleanor shakes in disbelief. She looks scared and pale
Eleanor: Dead - No it can’t be.
Eleanor shouting: That can’t be true!
Page 35:
Panel 1:
Persephone looks Eleanor in the eyes again
Persephone: We have to get out of here now.
Panel 2:
Persephone hands the knife over to Eleanor
Panel 3:
Eleanor pushes the knife away
Eleanor: I .. I can’t
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks at the body again
Eleanor: That was the guy I danced with
Panel 5:
Persephone also looking at the body
Persephone: He was going to kill you but he mistook me for you
Page 36:
Panel 1:
Eleanor: But... Why would he want...
Persephone: … are you forgetting that you next in line for the throne
Panel 2:
Heavy Footsteps can be heard rushing towards them in the hallway
Panel 3:
Persephone hands the knife over to Eleanor again
Persephone: Please, take it. It will make me feel better
Panel 4:
Eleanor grabs the knife but is unsure how to hold it
Eleanor: Ok, but what will you use
Page 37:
Panel 1:
As Eleanor takes the knife she cut Persephone's hand
Eleanor: Sis are you hurt
Panel 2:
Persephone Smiles at Eleanor
Persephone: I’m fine, it's just a scratch
Panel 3:
Persephone pick up her sword and the corner of the room
Persephone: Anyway, I’ll be using my good friend here
Panel 4:
The door burst open with several armed knights now in the doorway.
Page 37:
Panel 1:
Eleanor turns to face the knight. She looks terrified while holding her knife in front of her. Persephone is wielding a sword.
Eleanor: Sis help
Persephone Shouting: Swift wind
Panel 2:
Persephone darting towards Eleanor
Panel 3.
Eleanor lying with her back on the floor. Persephone on top of her. Her sword pierced into Eleanor’s stomach.
Eleanor has tears running in her eyes and is screaming in pain
Eleanor: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Page 38:
Panel 1:
Persephone looks glad and relieved
Persephone: Guards help before she escapes
Panel 2:
Eleanor trying to speak
Eleanor: Sis, Wh...
Panel 3:
Persephone twist the sword as Eleanor tries to speak
Eleanor screaming in pain
Eleanor: AHHHHH!!!!!
Panel 4:
Persephone and the guard captain look at each other. The captain is kneeling, Persephone has a smile on her face
Captain: Thank the gods we were in time to help my queen
Page 39:
Page 1:
Eleanor coughing up blood with tears in her eyes
Eleanor: Wh..y... Sis…
Page 2:
Persephone and the captain stand up while Persephone takes her sword out of Eleanor.
Page 3:
Persephone casts heal on Eleanor
Persephone: Can’t have you dying on me.
Persephone: Heal
Page 4:
Persephone pointing to the guards
Persephone: Take her to the dungeon. I’ll deal with her soon
Page 5:
The guards drag Eleanor.
Eleanor: W..hy.. Si..s…
Page 40:
Page 1:
Persephone and the captain standing next to each other. The other guards have left
Captain: Most of her supporters have been dealt with. Though a few still remain.
Persephone: Have your best men deal with them.
Captain: They are already on it
Page 2:
Persephone Smiling
Persephone: Perfect, Now I can finally get the reward I deserve for saving the world
Chapter 2 script darft 2
Spoiler
Page 1:
Panel 1:
Openings with a location image of a dungeon. The dungeon has a rat in and dripping water.
Eleanor is dressed in a prison rag outfit. Her hands and feet are tied up. She is hanging from the ceiling with her hands in a dungeon Her head is lowered as she is sleeping.
Panel 2:
Two guards enter the room
Guard: Wakey Wakey
Panel 3:
Eleanor is being splashed with a bucket of water. The shock of the water hitting her wakes her up
Panel 4:
Guard 2 - it’s time for execution
Panel 5:
Eleanor looking terrified
Eleanor: My execution??
Page 2:
Panel 1:
Guard punching Eleanor in the stomach
Guard: You deaf whore… You are guilty of treason
Panel 2:
Eleanor with tears down her face
Eleanor: No that can’t b…
Panel 3:
The guard punches Eleanor again
Panel 4:
Eleanor has a pillory around her hands and 2 chains around her neck. Each guard is carrying a chain
Page 3:
Panel 1:
Eleanor is in the archway of a huge colosseum.
Around the colosseum are people being crucified
With a crowd shouting
Crowd: Traitor, Murder, Kill the traitor,
Panel 2:
Close up on a crucified person show one it’s of Eleanor's noble friends from chapter 1
Her mouth is red where her tongue has been cut out
Noble: Sabe me….Pweaze…
Page 4:
Panel 1:
Eleanor being dragged to the middle of the colosseum
Stones can be seen being thrown at Eleanor
Eleanor is crying
Panel 2:
Eleanor sees her sister in the middle of the colosseum
Eleanor: Sis pleas…
Panel 3:
A stone hit Eleanor in the eye causing it to bleed
Eleanor screams out in pain AHHHHHH
Eleanor: AHHHHHH!!!!
Panel 4:
Eleanor is forced to kneel in front of Persephone
Persephone raises a hand gesturing for the crowd to be silent
Panel 5:
A magic circle appears in front of Persephone and around Eleanor's neck
Persephone: Enhance speech
Persephone: Silence
Page 5:
Panel 1:
Eleanor is squirming in pain covering her eye the best she can
Persephone: I Queen Persephone II am shocked by my treasonous sister act, The murder of our father and mother, Your King and Queen, as well as Duke Richard.
Panel 2:
The crowd start shouting
Crowd: Kill the traitor
Persephone: Even so I still see the sister I loved and cared for. If she confesses and repent for her sins I will show her mercy.
Panel 3:
Persephone looks at Eleanor who is pale with fear
Persephone: So sister what will it be. Mercy or …
Panel 4:
Eleanor no longer has the silent spell around her neck and the Loud in font of Persephone is also removed
Persephone leans into Eleanor's ear
Eleanor: Sis, please. Why are you doing this? I love you
Panel 5:
Persephone looks furious
Persephone:’ WHY WHY.
Page 6:
Panel 1:
Persephone stops herself from getting carried away (Hand over mouth)
Persephone: If you don’t confess I will make you suffer After all we are above the Pit, I'm sure those criminals will love to have you
Panel 2:
Eleanor images her in the pit with the criminals
Panel 3:
Eleanor crying:
Eleanor: Please sis. I don’t want to die
Panel 4:
Persephone: If you confess I promise you, that you will not be sentenced to death
Eleanor thinking: What do I do. I don’t want to die
Panel 5:
Persephone: 10, 9…
Page 7:
Panel 1:
The look of panic washes over Eleanor's face
Panel 2:
The crowd are shouting:
Crowd: Kill the traitor, Burn her alive
Eleanor thinking: I don’t want to die
Persephone: 2,1
Panel 3:
Eleanor whispered: I did it.
Persephone: Louder Louder so the everyone can hear
Panel 4:
The loud magic spell is infont of Eleanor, tears are running down Eleanor's face
Persephone: Enhance speech
Eleanor: I did it. I killed my mother and father,
Please sister show me mercy, you promised
Panel 5:
Persephone has a sadistic smile while snapping her fingers
The Magic spell is now longer their
Persephone - Unlike you, I keep my promises
Page 8:
Panel 1
A giant slug is being dragged from the gate
Panel 2:
Eleanor's face looks confused
Panel 3:
Persephone: And for your punishment, I will grant you the wonderful life of being a living training dummy. You will only be allowed to eat once a week from the sewage waste. I would say this is a fitting end for someone you only take from the kingdom. Now Its time to give back
Panel 4:
Eleanor's face is pale
Eleanor: but you said I would be shown mercy
Page 9:
Panel 1:
Persephone Laughing
Persephone: Promised you that you won’t be sentenced to death
Panel 2:
Persephone's face next to Eleanor's ear
Persephone has a sadistic smile on her face.
Persephone: How I have longed for the day. I have always hated you sister. Every day I saw you, was a reminder that I was less than you just because I was born 2nd.
Panel 3:
Eleanor’s face next to Persephone's ear
Tears running down Eleanor’s face
Persephone: But have joy know that you won’t suffer alone. Mother and father are suffering too in an eternal nightmare
Page 10:
Panel 1:
Persephone Cast a spell on the slug and Eleanor
Eleanor Eleanor cries out in pain
Persephone: Now… Soul Exchange
Eleanor: AHHHH!!!
Panel 2:
Persephone pointing to her old body
Persephone: Dump her old body the in the pit I have no need for it
Panel 3:
The guards drag her old body away. Standing back up, Persephone casts another spell, Eleanor on in her new slug body
Persephone: Life regen
Persephone: Nealy forgot about this spell. And as promised, you won’t die
Page 11:
Panel 1:
Persephone raises both arms
Persephone: Now lets the Coronation games begin
Panel 2:
The crowd cheer A group of gladiators line up
crowd: Long Live the queen Long live the Hero
Panel 3:
Persephone: First off let's have the are contestants show us their strength on our new target
Panel 4:
Eleanor Half slug face half-human face. Her human face has tears running while nothing shows on the slug's face.
Eleanor Thinking: Help me please, someone, please
Page 11:
Panel 1:
Chapter 1 Page 1 panel 1 is shown
Panel 2:
Behind her is the Figure wielding a scythe. Horns have replaced where eyes would normally be. The figure has an eye in the middle of his forehead, and white wings coming from his back. Time has been stopped at this moment
Panel 3:
The figure swings this scythe at Eleanor
Page 12:
Panel 1:
Suddenly Eleanor teleported to a room. Eleanor is panicking. She is naked.
Eleanor: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Eleanor: Someone save me Please
Panel 2:
Eleanor looks at her hands and starts to realise that she is no longer a slug and that her wounds have healed
Panel 3:
Eleanor is hugged behind by a priestess (Illyria) The hug is also adding a white rob coving Eleanor's body.
Illyria's charming voice: Don't worry your safe
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks at the priestess (Illyria), Illyria smiles calmly at Eleanor
Illyria: You're safe now. The hero can’t hurt you here.
Page 13:
Panel 1:
Illyria is sitting next to Eleanor. Holding both of Eleanor's hands
Illyria: I’m Illyria, What's your name?
Eleanor still catching her breath: El.. I'm Eleanor. Am I dead?
Panel 2:
Illyria is waving her hands
Illyria: Oh no no no. You are still very much alive
Panel 3:
Eleanor signs a breath of relief
Panel 4:
Illyria is looking pleased.
Illyria - The King heard your cries to help. So he saved you. Just like he saved me. Isn’t that nice of him
Panel 5:
Eleanor looks confused
Eleanor: Saved you?
Page 14:
Panel 1:
Illyria nods while standing up holding both of Eleanor's hands again to help her stand.
Illyria: I’m just like you, a victim of a hero. This place is a sanctuary for people like us.
Eleanor: So where am I?
Panel 2:
Both girls are walking towards a window. Illyria and Eleanor are looking at each other
Illyria: This is a lot to take in but you have been teleported to another world.
Eleanor: Another world?
Panel 3:
Illyria thinking
Illyria: That's not even the hard bit. This world hmm… how to put it. It's very different from the one you're used to.
Eleanor: different how?
Panel 4:
Illyria opens the curtain to the window
Illyria: It will be easier for you to see for yourself
Panel 5:
Eleanor's face is in awe with what she seeing
City reflection can be seen in her eye
Page 15:
Panel 1:
A huge sci-fi city with towering buildings with tinted glass. Flying cars, Billboards etc
Page 16:
Panel 1:
Eleanor's face is in awe. Illyria standing next to her with an arm behind her to support her in case she faints
Illyria: The world is far more advanced than what we are used to
Panel 2:
Illyria looking at Eleanor's face, Eleanor is still looking at the city
Illyria: Come let's get you dressed and grab some breakfast
Panel 3:
Eleanor and Illyria are on a balcony. Eleanor leaning on the bannister looking at the city while Illyria sitting down.
Eleanor is wearing a dress. The table has an empty fruit bowl. Two guards are present in power armour
Page 17:
Panel 1:
Illyria holding a cup of coffee.
Illyria - I still remember the 1st time I saw this place it truly is amazing isn't it.
Panel 2:
Eleanor turns her head towards Illyria
Eleanor: Yeah it's breathtaking, What was your world like?
Panel 3:
Illyria holding a cup of coffee still
Illyria: Probably similar to yours. It was beautiful then the demon king attacked. Shortly after we defeated him, One of the party members in my world became corrupt. He became worst than the demon king that we fought.
Panel 4:
Illyria has fear in her eye and is trembling slightly. The background becomes dark
Illyria: He.. he
Page 18:
Panel 1:
Eleanor holding Illyria's hands
Eleanor: I understand.
Panel 2:
Eleanor is smiling at Illyria to reassure her
Panel 3:
Eleanor is now sitting next to Illyria
Eleanor: So what's this king like?
Panel 4:
Illyria thinking
Illyria: He’s and kind and just ruler…
Panel 5:
Illyria is smiling while nudging Eleanor's shoulder
Illyria: .. and he’s cute.
Page 19:
Panel 1:
Illyria: has a serious face
Illyria: But best of all he made this world safe haven for us
Panel 2:
Illyria is looking a bit upset:
Illyria: He’s sadly busy today, so I will show you around if that sounds good to you?
Panel 3:
Eleanor: That sounds nice thank you, but are you positive my sister won’t find me here?
Panel 4:
Illyria's hand on her heart
Illyria: I promise she won’t find you. As far as I’m aware not a single hero has ever existed in this world
Panel 5:
Illyria pointing
Illyria: Plus look that them
Page 20:
Panel 1:
Illyria's hand pointing at a guard
Guard: Fear not princess, As long as I have breath no harm will come to you
Illyria: See, nothing to fear
Panel 2:
Illyria stands up while taking Eleanor's hand while walking to the balcony
Illyria: Come I want to show you something
Panel 3:
Illyria and Eleanor at standing on the balcony looking at the city.
Illyria: See that stone building over there.
Page 21:
Panel 1:
1st person view of Illyria's hand pointing at a stone building in the city.
Illyria: That's the Imperial Museum
Illyria: It's also the oldest building in the city
Panel 2:
1st person view of Illyria's hand pointing at a stone building in the city. Chibi face of Eleanor looking confused and Illyria sighs
Eleanor: Museum???
Illyria: It's a type of building with all the history of this world. It might be worth going there later today or tomorrow to learn about this world.
Panel 3:
Illyria's hand pointing at a Tokyo/ Eiffel tower build
Illyria: Over there is the Imperial Tower. It's a great way to see more of the city. We can add that to the list of places to visit
Panel 4:
Illyria pointing at a grand cathedral
Illyria: And lastly over there is the grand cathedral
Page 22:
Panel 1:
Illyria proudly
Illyria: If you ever need me I’ll likely be there, After all, I am the High saintess of the church
Panel 2:
Eleanor looking hopeful
Eleanor: Would it be ok to visit there as well?
Panel 3:
Illyria's face lights up
Illyria: Of cause. We can go at once if you like.
Panel 4:
Illyria proudly
Illyria: I had a feeling you would be a follower of god
Page 23:
Panel 1:
Eleanor: Yeah if we can. I’ll like to pray to the gods
Panel 2:
Illyria's smile leaves her face
Illyria: Their only one god here
Panel 3:
Illyria looks serious
Illyria: The creator, the god of everything, Life, death, Heaven, Hell
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks like she pleading with Illyria
Eleanor: But...
Panel 5:
Illyria puts her finger on Eleanor's lips cutting of Eleanor
Page 24:
Panel 1:
Illyria is still serious but understanding
Illyria: Look, I understand how you feel, But in this world worshipping gods is a sign of heresy.
Panel 2:
Illyria has a strict face
Illyria: Be grateful that these guards are understanding, Anyone else overhearing you mention gods would brand you a heretic.
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks sad
Eleanor: I'm sorry, I just want to pray to my mother and father and let them know that I'm ok.
Panel 4:
Illyria hugged Eleanor but still is looking at her face
Illyria: I understand, I have a private room, that I use to pray to the gods of my world. You can use that
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks relived
Eleanor: that would be great, thank you
Page 25:
Panel 1:
Illyria no longer hugging Eleanor. Illyria looks happy
Illyria: Perfect then let's get ready and head out then
Panel 2:
Eleanor looks worried
Eleanor: I don’t know if I'm ready to leave, what if something happens
Panel 3:
Illyria looks disappointed at Eleanor
Illyria: Trust me bad nothing will happen, we will be going to one of the safest places in the empire
Panel 4:
Illyria points to the guards
Illyria: Plus we will have these guys with us the whole time
Panel 5:
Illyria holding Eleanor's hand as if she is begging
Illyria: And you did want to pray, after all, I’ll even pray with you if you like?
Page 26:
Panel 1:
Eleanor still looks a bit worried
Eleanor: Ok but only for a bit ok
Panel 2::
Illyria is happy
Illyria: Perfect, then let's go
Panel 3:
Illyria look at the guards
Guard: The security detail can be ready in 35 mins princess.
Panel 4:
Illyria is smiling at Eleanor while taking Eleanor's hand. As they're walking back into the palace
Illyria: Wonderful, I can see us being best of friend
Page 27:
Panel 1:
A phone starts ringing.
Panel 2:
An old priest picks up the phone. A voice comes from the phone.
Phone: The saint princess will be heading to the church shorty. She will be accompanied by the king's newest girl. Praise be the creator
Panel 3:
The phone goes dead. The old priest puts the phone down
Panel 4:
The priest starts smiling sadistically
Page 28:
Panel 1:
The priest has his arms out in an embrace stance front of him are several other priests and priestess
Priest: Brothers, sisters. Our faith is being tested now more than ever. The king has abandoned god in his pursuit of lust. He has brought another heretic to our world.
Panel 2:
Priest: So we must right these wrongs ourselves. In the name of the creator. We must cleanse this world of its corruption before it’s too late.
Panel 3:
Priest: Praise be the creator
Priest and priestess: Praise be the creator
Panel 1:
Openings with a location image of a dungeon. The dungeon has a rat in and dripping water.
Eleanor is dressed in a prison rag outfit. Her hands and feet are tied up. She is hanging from the ceiling with her hands in a dungeon Her head is lowered as she is sleeping.
Panel 2:
Two guards enter the room
Guard: Wakey Wakey
Panel 3:
Eleanor is being splashed with a bucket of water. The shock of the water hitting her wakes her up
Panel 4:
Guard 2 - it’s time for execution
Panel 5:
Eleanor looking terrified
Eleanor: My execution??
Page 2:
Panel 1:
Guard punching Eleanor in the stomach
Guard: You deaf whore… You are guilty of treason
Panel 2:
Eleanor with tears down her face
Eleanor: No that can’t b…
Panel 3:
The guard punches Eleanor again
Panel 4:
Eleanor has a pillory around her hands and 2 chains around her neck. Each guard is carrying a chain
Page 3:
Panel 1:
Eleanor is in the archway of a huge colosseum.
Around the colosseum are people being crucified
With a crowd shouting
Crowd: Traitor, Murder, Kill the traitor,
Panel 2:
Close up on a crucified person show one it’s of Eleanor's noble friends from chapter 1
Her mouth is red where her tongue has been cut out
Noble: Sabe me….Pweaze…
Page 4:
Panel 1:
Eleanor being dragged to the middle of the colosseum
Stones can be seen being thrown at Eleanor
Eleanor is crying
Panel 2:
Eleanor sees her sister in the middle of the colosseum
Eleanor: Sis pleas…
Panel 3:
A stone hit Eleanor in the eye causing it to bleed
Eleanor screams out in pain AHHHHHH
Eleanor: AHHHHHH!!!!
Panel 4:
Eleanor is forced to kneel in front of Persephone
Persephone raises a hand gesturing for the crowd to be silent
Panel 5:
A magic circle appears in front of Persephone and around Eleanor's neck
Persephone: Enhance speech
Persephone: Silence
Page 5:
Panel 1:
Eleanor is squirming in pain covering her eye the best she can
Persephone: I Queen Persephone II am shocked by my treasonous sister act, The murder of our father and mother, Your King and Queen, as well as Duke Richard.
Panel 2:
The crowd start shouting
Crowd: Kill the traitor
Persephone: Even so I still see the sister I loved and cared for. If she confesses and repent for her sins I will show her mercy.
Panel 3:
Persephone looks at Eleanor who is pale with fear
Persephone: So sister what will it be. Mercy or …
Panel 4:
Eleanor no longer has the silent spell around her neck and the Loud in font of Persephone is also removed
Persephone leans into Eleanor's ear
Eleanor: Sis, please. Why are you doing this? I love you
Panel 5:
Persephone looks furious
Persephone:’ WHY WHY.
Page 6:
Panel 1:
Persephone stops herself from getting carried away (Hand over mouth)
Persephone: If you don’t confess I will make you suffer After all we are above the Pit, I'm sure those criminals will love to have you
Panel 2:
Eleanor images her in the pit with the criminals
Panel 3:
Eleanor crying:
Eleanor: Please sis. I don’t want to die
Panel 4:
Persephone: If you confess I promise you, that you will not be sentenced to death
Eleanor thinking: What do I do. I don’t want to die
Panel 5:
Persephone: 10, 9…
Page 7:
Panel 1:
The look of panic washes over Eleanor's face
Panel 2:
The crowd are shouting:
Crowd: Kill the traitor, Burn her alive
Eleanor thinking: I don’t want to die
Persephone: 2,1
Panel 3:
Eleanor whispered: I did it.
Persephone: Louder Louder so the everyone can hear
Panel 4:
The loud magic spell is infont of Eleanor, tears are running down Eleanor's face
Persephone: Enhance speech
Eleanor: I did it. I killed my mother and father,
Please sister show me mercy, you promised
Panel 5:
Persephone has a sadistic smile while snapping her fingers
The Magic spell is now longer their
Persephone - Unlike you, I keep my promises
Page 8:
Panel 1
A giant slug is being dragged from the gate
Panel 2:
Eleanor's face looks confused
Panel 3:
Persephone: And for your punishment, I will grant you the wonderful life of being a living training dummy. You will only be allowed to eat once a week from the sewage waste. I would say this is a fitting end for someone you only take from the kingdom. Now Its time to give back
Panel 4:
Eleanor's face is pale
Eleanor: but you said I would be shown mercy
Page 9:
Panel 1:
Persephone Laughing
Persephone: Promised you that you won’t be sentenced to death
Panel 2:
Persephone's face next to Eleanor's ear
Persephone has a sadistic smile on her face.
Persephone: How I have longed for the day. I have always hated you sister. Every day I saw you, was a reminder that I was less than you just because I was born 2nd.
Panel 3:
Eleanor’s face next to Persephone's ear
Tears running down Eleanor’s face
Persephone: But have joy know that you won’t suffer alone. Mother and father are suffering too in an eternal nightmare
Page 10:
Panel 1:
Persephone Cast a spell on the slug and Eleanor
Eleanor Eleanor cries out in pain
Persephone: Now… Soul Exchange
Eleanor: AHHHH!!!
Panel 2:
Persephone pointing to her old body
Persephone: Dump her old body the in the pit I have no need for it
Panel 3:
The guards drag her old body away. Standing back up, Persephone casts another spell, Eleanor on in her new slug body
Persephone: Life regen
Persephone: Nealy forgot about this spell. And as promised, you won’t die
Page 11:
Panel 1:
Persephone raises both arms
Persephone: Now lets the Coronation games begin
Panel 2:
The crowd cheer A group of gladiators line up
crowd: Long Live the queen Long live the Hero
Panel 3:
Persephone: First off let's have the are contestants show us their strength on our new target
Panel 4:
Eleanor Half slug face half-human face. Her human face has tears running while nothing shows on the slug's face.
Eleanor Thinking: Help me please, someone, please
Page 11:
Panel 1:
Chapter 1 Page 1 panel 1 is shown
Panel 2:
Behind her is the Figure wielding a scythe. Horns have replaced where eyes would normally be. The figure has an eye in the middle of his forehead, and white wings coming from his back. Time has been stopped at this moment
Panel 3:
The figure swings this scythe at Eleanor
Page 12:
Panel 1:
Suddenly Eleanor teleported to a room. Eleanor is panicking. She is naked.
Eleanor: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Eleanor: Someone save me Please
Panel 2:
Eleanor looks at her hands and starts to realise that she is no longer a slug and that her wounds have healed
Panel 3:
Eleanor is hugged behind by a priestess (Illyria) The hug is also adding a white rob coving Eleanor's body.
Illyria's charming voice: Don't worry your safe
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks at the priestess (Illyria), Illyria smiles calmly at Eleanor
Illyria: You're safe now. The hero can’t hurt you here.
Page 13:
Panel 1:
Illyria is sitting next to Eleanor. Holding both of Eleanor's hands
Illyria: I’m Illyria, What's your name?
Eleanor still catching her breath: El.. I'm Eleanor. Am I dead?
Panel 2:
Illyria is waving her hands
Illyria: Oh no no no. You are still very much alive
Panel 3:
Eleanor signs a breath of relief
Panel 4:
Illyria is looking pleased.
Illyria - The King heard your cries to help. So he saved you. Just like he saved me. Isn’t that nice of him
Panel 5:
Eleanor looks confused
Eleanor: Saved you?
Page 14:
Panel 1:
Illyria nods while standing up holding both of Eleanor's hands again to help her stand.
Illyria: I’m just like you, a victim of a hero. This place is a sanctuary for people like us.
Eleanor: So where am I?
Panel 2:
Both girls are walking towards a window. Illyria and Eleanor are looking at each other
Illyria: This is a lot to take in but you have been teleported to another world.
Eleanor: Another world?
Panel 3:
Illyria thinking
Illyria: That's not even the hard bit. This world hmm… how to put it. It's very different from the one you're used to.
Eleanor: different how?
Panel 4:
Illyria opens the curtain to the window
Illyria: It will be easier for you to see for yourself
Panel 5:
Eleanor's face is in awe with what she seeing
City reflection can be seen in her eye
Page 15:
Panel 1:
A huge sci-fi city with towering buildings with tinted glass. Flying cars, Billboards etc
Page 16:
Panel 1:
Eleanor's face is in awe. Illyria standing next to her with an arm behind her to support her in case she faints
Illyria: The world is far more advanced than what we are used to
Panel 2:
Illyria looking at Eleanor's face, Eleanor is still looking at the city
Illyria: Come let's get you dressed and grab some breakfast
Panel 3:
Eleanor and Illyria are on a balcony. Eleanor leaning on the bannister looking at the city while Illyria sitting down.
Eleanor is wearing a dress. The table has an empty fruit bowl. Two guards are present in power armour
Page 17:
Panel 1:
Illyria holding a cup of coffee.
Illyria - I still remember the 1st time I saw this place it truly is amazing isn't it.
Panel 2:
Eleanor turns her head towards Illyria
Eleanor: Yeah it's breathtaking, What was your world like?
Panel 3:
Illyria holding a cup of coffee still
Illyria: Probably similar to yours. It was beautiful then the demon king attacked. Shortly after we defeated him, One of the party members in my world became corrupt. He became worst than the demon king that we fought.
Panel 4:
Illyria has fear in her eye and is trembling slightly. The background becomes dark
Illyria: He.. he
Page 18:
Panel 1:
Eleanor holding Illyria's hands
Eleanor: I understand.
Panel 2:
Eleanor is smiling at Illyria to reassure her
Panel 3:
Eleanor is now sitting next to Illyria
Eleanor: So what's this king like?
Panel 4:
Illyria thinking
Illyria: He’s and kind and just ruler…
Panel 5:
Illyria is smiling while nudging Eleanor's shoulder
Illyria: .. and he’s cute.
Page 19:
Panel 1:
Illyria: has a serious face
Illyria: But best of all he made this world safe haven for us
Panel 2:
Illyria is looking a bit upset:
Illyria: He’s sadly busy today, so I will show you around if that sounds good to you?
Panel 3:
Eleanor: That sounds nice thank you, but are you positive my sister won’t find me here?
Panel 4:
Illyria's hand on her heart
Illyria: I promise she won’t find you. As far as I’m aware not a single hero has ever existed in this world
Panel 5:
Illyria pointing
Illyria: Plus look that them
Page 20:
Panel 1:
Illyria's hand pointing at a guard
Guard: Fear not princess, As long as I have breath no harm will come to you
Illyria: See, nothing to fear
Panel 2:
Illyria stands up while taking Eleanor's hand while walking to the balcony
Illyria: Come I want to show you something
Panel 3:
Illyria and Eleanor at standing on the balcony looking at the city.
Illyria: See that stone building over there.
Page 21:
Panel 1:
1st person view of Illyria's hand pointing at a stone building in the city.
Illyria: That's the Imperial Museum
Illyria: It's also the oldest building in the city
Panel 2:
1st person view of Illyria's hand pointing at a stone building in the city. Chibi face of Eleanor looking confused and Illyria sighs
Eleanor: Museum???
Illyria: It's a type of building with all the history of this world. It might be worth going there later today or tomorrow to learn about this world.
Panel 3:
Illyria's hand pointing at a Tokyo/ Eiffel tower build
Illyria: Over there is the Imperial Tower. It's a great way to see more of the city. We can add that to the list of places to visit
Panel 4:
Illyria pointing at a grand cathedral
Illyria: And lastly over there is the grand cathedral
Page 22:
Panel 1:
Illyria proudly
Illyria: If you ever need me I’ll likely be there, After all, I am the High saintess of the church
Panel 2:
Eleanor looking hopeful
Eleanor: Would it be ok to visit there as well?
Panel 3:
Illyria's face lights up
Illyria: Of cause. We can go at once if you like.
Panel 4:
Illyria proudly
Illyria: I had a feeling you would be a follower of god
Page 23:
Panel 1:
Eleanor: Yeah if we can. I’ll like to pray to the gods
Panel 2:
Illyria's smile leaves her face
Illyria: Their only one god here
Panel 3:
Illyria looks serious
Illyria: The creator, the god of everything, Life, death, Heaven, Hell
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks like she pleading with Illyria
Eleanor: But...
Panel 5:
Illyria puts her finger on Eleanor's lips cutting of Eleanor
Page 24:
Panel 1:
Illyria is still serious but understanding
Illyria: Look, I understand how you feel, But in this world worshipping gods is a sign of heresy.
Panel 2:
Illyria has a strict face
Illyria: Be grateful that these guards are understanding, Anyone else overhearing you mention gods would brand you a heretic.
Panel 3:
Eleanor looks sad
Eleanor: I'm sorry, I just want to pray to my mother and father and let them know that I'm ok.
Panel 4:
Illyria hugged Eleanor but still is looking at her face
Illyria: I understand, I have a private room, that I use to pray to the gods of my world. You can use that
Panel 4:
Eleanor looks relived
Eleanor: that would be great, thank you
Page 25:
Panel 1:
Illyria no longer hugging Eleanor. Illyria looks happy
Illyria: Perfect then let's get ready and head out then
Panel 2:
Eleanor looks worried
Eleanor: I don’t know if I'm ready to leave, what if something happens
Panel 3:
Illyria looks disappointed at Eleanor
Illyria: Trust me bad nothing will happen, we will be going to one of the safest places in the empire
Panel 4:
Illyria points to the guards
Illyria: Plus we will have these guys with us the whole time
Panel 5:
Illyria holding Eleanor's hand as if she is begging
Illyria: And you did want to pray, after all, I’ll even pray with you if you like?
Page 26:
Panel 1:
Eleanor still looks a bit worried
Eleanor: Ok but only for a bit ok
Panel 2::
Illyria is happy
Illyria: Perfect, then let's go
Panel 3:
Illyria look at the guards
Guard: The security detail can be ready in 35 mins princess.
Panel 4:
Illyria is smiling at Eleanor while taking Eleanor's hand. As they're walking back into the palace
Illyria: Wonderful, I can see us being best of friend
Page 27:
Panel 1:
A phone starts ringing.
Panel 2:
An old priest picks up the phone. A voice comes from the phone.
Phone: The saint princess will be heading to the church shorty. She will be accompanied by the king's newest girl. Praise be the creator
Panel 3:
The phone goes dead. The old priest puts the phone down
Panel 4:
The priest starts smiling sadistically
Page 28:
Panel 1:
The priest has his arms out in an embrace stance front of him are several other priests and priestess
Priest: Brothers, sisters. Our faith is being tested now more than ever. The king has abandoned god in his pursuit of lust. He has brought another heretic to our world.
Panel 2:
Priest: So we must right these wrongs ourselves. In the name of the creator. We must cleanse this world of its corruption before it’s too late.
Panel 3:
Priest: Praise be the creator
Priest and priestess: Praise be the creator
