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Recent Posts

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1
Starter Gallery / Re: Legomaestro's Art Box
« Last post by Walter B on Today at 10:25:26 AM »
Those action scenes look awesome! Great work buddy!
2
Manga Creations / Re: EMerge
« Last post by Ocky88 on Today at 09:19:13 AM »
another round of edits done
3
Develop Your Story / Re: "La Sanctum" Club (Watered down 18+)
« Last post by DeAngelus on Today at 06:08:45 AM »
Chapter 8 : Exposed

Spoiler
In a pitch black background , a series of voices echoes within that is again accompanied by the sound of feet dragging on the ground ...

Female voice : RonRon ? *Barely audible*

...

Female voice : ... RonRon ? *Barely audible*

...

Female voice : ... Ron ... Ron ... ? What's wrong , RonRon ? Why am I- *Audibility gradually got clearer*

"RonRon" : Everything's going to be alright .

Female voice : RonRo-

"RonRon" : I'm going to make everything better , for both of us ... I have to ... I must , this time ... or I ... I ...

Female voice : RonRon ... what are yo-

"RonRon" : Wait for me ! I'll be right back and get rid of the "monster" and bring home the big treasure chest we both wished for !

Female voice : W-wait ...

*Sound of distancing footsteps that differs from the ongoing dragging footsteps sound in the background*

"... I will be back ... just wait for me ..."

The pitch black scene soon turned into a blurry blob of colors that soon clarifies itself into a scene of a wooden , ornate tester with curtains on it's side being drawn , allowing sunlight to shine within it .

Ron :  ... where am I ?

Alinna : You're feeling okay now , Ron ?

Alinna greeted Ron from the couch , holding a book with bookmarks and photos pinned in-between pages on one hand while facing right at the bed where he is , all dressed in an extravagant sleeping gown with her hair free to flow with the breeze .

Ron : Alinna ? Wait , how did I-

Alinna : You were right at my front door in the middle of the night and you literally fell down flat right in front of me . I nearly shot you there for scaring the living s*** out of me . *Holds up the gun in question*

Ron (Scared) : *Gulps*

Alinna : That is now over . However , when I dragged you all the way here , I'm surprised that you're very light .

Ron : ... I didn't realize I'm thin .

Alinna : VERY thin . I can feel your rib bones as I carried you here . You seriously need to take care of your health more . *Points at the end table opposite of her* Your meal's on the table over there .

Ron (Mesmerized) : Th ... these foo- ... I'm not worthy for the-

Alinna : *Puts up a serious tone and looks* Eat it .

Ron : *Sweats and startled* Y-yes ! *Gobbles up the meal*

Alinna : *Sighs and shakes head* Good grief ...

And so Alinna resumes reading the book in hand while Ron gobbles up the meal being offered like a hungry animal . Halfway into the meal , he caught a glimpse of one of the picture pinned in-between the pages of the book she's reading , a picture of her when she was young and a guy .

Ron : Umm ... the picture ...

Alinna : ??? Oh , this ? That's me when I was still a small kid .

Ron : That guy ...

Alinna : That's my big brother . We haven't talked or met for more than ten years already .

Ron : What happened to him ?

Alinna : No clue . My parents told me that he had a big business that needs handling oversea . *Tch* What a blatant lie ...

Ron : They're lying ?

Alinna : This was his personal house that I regularly visit . All of his belongings I saw when I was here the last time is still here . *Got up and took something from one of the drawers* Also , if he was on a business trip , he would've brought this with him *Flashes his travel passport* . Luckily , I've managed to convince them to let me have this place before they put it up for sale . I can bet you that they're trying dispose evidences of his existence as if they don't even acknowledged his existence .

Ron : Oh ...

Alinna : *Closes the book in hand with a loud thud* Now that I've spilled my personal life issues on you , it's time to spill yours out . Are you really okay there ?

Ron  : *Startled* E-eh ? What do you mean ? I'm fi-

Alinna : *Approaches Ron real close with a suspicious and slightly intimidating look* You're NOT okay . Muttering the same lines over and over again , sweating a pool of sweat that we had to keep changing the bed sheet throughout the whole time you're out - that's not okay in my book . No more excuses , no more avoiding . It's time for you to tell me , right now .

Back at Ron's house .

The humming sound of a running refrigerator and clicking sound of an wall-mounted clock were the only sound that makes up the otherwise sheer silence of the house . Atramille can be seen sitting on the couch with her head slightly lowered as if something weighing her down . Several knocking sound on the sliding window door is being made , prompting her to get up and make her way to the source of sound . Standing on the other side of the door , a hooded figure greets her

Hooded figure : *Presents a piece of paper* The location you requested ...

Atramille : Much appreciated .

As quick as the meeting was held , the hooded figure disappears to the back of the building wall . Having obtained what seemed to be a crudely drawn map , Atramille studies it thoroughly for several minutes before she walks out of the house and makes her journey towards the unknown .

Back at Alinna's "mansion" .

The room was unusually silent as it's supposed to expect some sort of conversation between Ron and Alinna after she 'demanded' that he'd tell her what going on with his life that led him to such state . Instead , Ron had his head turned away from Alinna's concerned expression in hopes that she doesn't continue on talking about his personal life . She shook her head in disbelief as if she didn't get what she'd hoped for . An awkward atmosphere starts enveloping the room as no one hasn't spoken anything still ...

Flashback scene of the interior of a night bar with a signboard 'Catnip' mounted at the top of the counter , currently filled with people seemingly drowning themselves in happiness , either by singing their lungs out at a nearby karaoke corner , chugging in tankards after tankards of beer uncontrollably or having a group chat among themselves all while having some laughter , being serious or anything in-between . The focus of the scene is then directed towards a table with six people , who wore the same company name tags , engaging in some sort of conversation .

Male staff 1 : And then he ends up ... behind bars . Serve him right for not acting modest towards people around him .

Male staff 2 : Wow , buddy ! You don't even care if he's your brother .

Male staff 1 : Nah , it's just a few days only . Besides , I did warn him of his misdemeanor , only to get scolded back at . Well ... justice have been served . That's life ...

Female staff : Still a big brother at heart , huh ... that's sweet of you still sharing this with us .

Male staff 2 : Hey , that's what friendship is for . I hope that your brother regrets it after that .

Male staff 1 : Thanks ! I hope so too . Say , Joshua and Alinna , is that the new 'sacrificial goat' we saw a few months ago ?

Joshua : Yep , we both became friends with him as soon as he worked alongside us all . We just had to ... he looked so 'fragile' when we met him face-to-face , despite his positive-like energy .

Alinna : Go ahead , Ron . Introduce yourself to them as well .

Ron (Hesitant) : U-umm . A-ah ... I ... I ...

Joshua : Nervous , eh ? Then allow me to introduce ourselves then . I'm sure you know both of us by now - I'm Joshua , the self-proclaimed leader of this small circle of miserable lads who gather around to let out some steam and get some life advice from other members in this group , especially from me because I'm the Messiah of Wisdom !

All but Ron : We'd never wanted your tainted wisdom , "Pervo Donna" !

Joshua : *Curls at the corner , depressed*

Male staff 1 : Well ... I'm Zachiel , been working in the 'Hell's Cook Pit' that is the marketing department under that self-absorbed 'Satan' ...

All but Ron : *Nods in acknowledgement of the representation of the department and the section chief*

Alinna : Lets keep it concise and state the following ... Your name , accumulated work time , reason for remaining in the 'Hell's Cook Pit' and a life struggles you're willing to share .

Zachiel : Right . Six years , can't leave because I'm still looking for a job suited for me . As you've heard , Ron , I have a brother who had 'respect' issue and that he's entitled to be a d*** and spreading his idiocy wherever he goes . My parents are too pre-occupied with their interest to even 'educate' him , leaving me to do all of it ... *sigh*

All but Ron : Amen ... bless you with better future .

Male staff 2 : Fallon's muh name . The most senior among the people at 10 years of clocked work-time .

Female staff : But still make lots of 'Doodoo' mistake ...

Fallon : Sez you ! Oh ... *Ahem* I couldn't leave due to lack of academic qualification to get a better job . My family's already poor to begin with and we had a lot of brothers and sisters to boot . So I made the sacrifice by not accepting any funding from my parents and worked my butt off in 'Hell's Cook Pit' , just so that the younger ones get it and have a slightly better life . Also , I want to further my studies ... I hate being called a 'Doodoo' ...

All but Ron : Amen ... bless you with better future .

Alinna : Need financial aid , Fallon ? I can still spare you some .

Fallon : Thanks , but I'm okay for now . I'll look for you when it's dire .

Female staff : Name's Kaleen . worked for 5 years . I'm a single mother of three beautiful daughters . Had a terrible husband , terrible accident and now , single and a massive debt to pay off , thanks to lawyer fees and house mortgages . I halfway done on that ... now that I'm rid of that guy .

All but Ron : Amen ... bless you with better future .

Kaleen : By the way , I'm only 22 . 19 when I had my first child .

Ron : U-umm . I got a question though , why did you all tell me about your personal life ?

Joshua : Why not ? All those who worked in that same department as you had issues in life that can be seen as ... dire , hence the alternate title for the department , 'Hell's Cooking Pit' .

Alinna : You can already tell the similarities in the level of severity from all of their stories . This humble little circle exist to help each other out . There are other circles just like ours being made as well but held their meetings elsewhere .

Joshua : So , what's your reason working in Hoff's Advertising Agency ?

Ron : Nothing in particular . I just need money and just so happen to find this job .

Alinna : Is that ... all ?

Ron : Uh ... yes ... ?

All but Ron : *Looks at Ron with a dubious expression* ...

Ron : *Shocked by their intense gazing* Heh ? I mean it ! That's all !

Joshua : *Shrugs* Wwwhatever then . Alright then , let's party on !

Fallon , Kaleen and Zachiel : Oh ~~~ !

Ron : O-oh ...

Alinna : *Continues to stare at Ron* ...

And so they drown themselves in booze to forget all their troubles . While they danced themselves to the karaoke corner , Alinna went back and sat next to Ron , who sat still at the same spot , feeling out of place , and puts a hand on his shoulder , comforting him .

Alinna : Just to let you know that we're here to help each other , as friends . If you need one , feel free to look for us , okay ?

Ron : U-umm ... I'm fine still the way it is ...

Alinna : ...

"And that never came at all . We all know that you needed help in something , but what's keeping you from asking for one and be open with your problems with people whom you've been with for almost six years already ? You even lost that 'energy' you once had the first day we saw you . How long are you going to keep going like this ..."

Flashback ends .

Alinna and Ron : ...

Alinna : *Deep sigh* ... alright then , time for you to give me your reason as to why you came here .

Ron : Uh ... I don't know myself . I just ... have to ?

Alinna (Puzzled) : Huh ? Really ?

Ron : S-sort of . After all of these unexplained freakish abnormalities I've been experiencing recently , especially whoever that person in my house has been doing and behaving , I just had that urge to just get away from it ...

Alinna : Let me guess ... is that person your "personal maid" ?

Ron : Personal maid ? *The thought of Atramille dressed up almost like one by default came into mind* Ah ! Her . Yes , away from her ... wait , you knew her ?

Alinna : By coincidence . You probably can't recall all of it because I and your cab friend of yours , Mr.Danny brought you home from a night bar not far from your workplace ... Stone.Cold.Drunk , you were . I never knew you're a drinker .

Ron : Ugh ... I've relapsed ...

Alinna : Don't bother knowing and telling the details , all I want is her name .

Ron : (I remember about the promise but it didn't mention about keeping names a secret ...) Atramille de Surquouis .

Alinna : What kind of ... nevermind , that's all I need to know . Now , what are you going to do now ? Remain here ? I don't mind you settling in this room a little longer until she's gone .

Ron : Yeah , I think I'll ... wait ... how long have I been here ?

Alinna : You were out cold for about two days . The doc-

Ron : WORK ! I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK !!! *Runs out of the room*

Alinna : Returning to your home ? She'll most probably be waiting for you there ...

Just the thought of having to face the same person whom he ran away from in the first place makes all muscles and joints stiffened , freezing him motionless instantly just before he exits out of Alinna's line of sight .

Alinna : *Sigh* ... you can borrow my brothers working suit . It's similar to what you wear . I'll make a call for a chauffeur to come and send you there .

Ron : *Nods gratefully*

In front of Ron's boss's desk inside Hoff's Advertising Agency .

Ron's boss : You're fired .

*An out of place sound of a pen dropping onto the floor being made among the usual quiet office environment*

Ron : ... heh ?
4
General Discussion / Re: Drawing with Devola!
« Last post by Lewd Cat on Today at 01:26:00 AM »
@Devola
How do I get in line?
5
MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2017
« Last post by Forlorn Serpent on Today at 12:48:16 AM »
I was reading some Buzzfeed "articles". it was titled Job horror stories or something like that.

Some of these were clearly stupid. that is the point after all. But this one screamed of egocentric bullcrap. So this chick was going to miss her graduation because of work schedule conflict.  You would think this would be in the perspective of the employee. No. it wasn't The horror story is in the perspective of the manager.  He's pissed that the employee quit because she didn't want to miss the graduation. He goes on to add, this is her first job, no one in her family ever had a professional job ( i don't even know how he knows that), and she was leaving her job with idea that she could potentially do this again in her next job. LIke, she isn't being professional at all.

Dude, STFU. I can't believe this guy complained!
6
break Room / Re: How shuld I deal with this?
« Last post by araithiel on Today at 12:03:52 AM »
Once you've rejected someone, time to block and move on and try your best to avoid him at school
7
Develop Your Story / Re: ASTRAL Lore - The Astral Hunters
« Last post by Fortis Scriptor on Today at 12:01:26 AM »
*Cracks knuckles*, alright somebody who likes their world building.  :clapping:

Three years in the making eh? I commend you for taking the prep time.

Alright hang on hang on, I feel like I'm missing other lore posts here. *goes to look for other posts* Okay I had a feeling. Just a suggestion for you, I would condense your lore postings to one thread so that it's easier to get all of the needed information.

So to start I'll be going over your first lore post covering the Hunters, and then I'll be looking at the Astral Hunters.
Spoiler
So considering this is a shounen and you probably won't go into these things too much in your actual story I will breeze through this. But here's the deal, you need to clarify where these Hunters stand in human society. If they are a private organization that does not answer to any government then there would in any world be government military forces, now whether or not these forces were as capable of fighting monsters and possibly Hunters is up to you. To bring up a shounen example, in Fairy Tail, it's pretty obvious that Wizards were the most capable forces to protect people from whatever threats tried to face them, however the Kingdom of Fiore where the Fairy Tail Guild resided still had a military force, and while I don't know if Fairy Tail ever included it, I wouldn't be surprised if they had wizards in their ranks. What I'm saying is, if they're a private group like the wizard guilds in Fairy Tail, then there should be clarification and limitations to what the Hunters are allowed to do without repercussions from the nation's they live in.

That leads me to these Hunter Cities, again it brings up the sort of question are the Hunters part of or the entire body of government? It also brings me to ask, are these the only cities around or are these just what I'll refer to as Hunter City States of sorts.

Alright, so can Bloodline Hunters develop their own special powers or are they completely limited to their parents powers? What happens if two Hunters from different Bloodlines marry and have children? Both on the social level and the genetic, so could you end up with kids with both lightning and ice powers to throw out two random ones.

As I continue reading this I get more of a feel of not just a caste system within the bloodline clans, but I feel like in the Hunter City States as a whole. I imagine at the very bottom you have standard civilians without any beast blood coursing through their veins, then above them you have the transfusion Hunters, and then above them would be the Bloodline Hunters with perhaps one specific Bloodline at the top ruling over everyone else. That's just the feeling I'm getting from reading this.  :noidea:

Wait hang on, earlier you mentioned that Bloodline Hunters inherit their abilities from their parents. Unless I read that wrong, in which case tell me if I did. If I didn't though what's the difference between their 'abilities' and their 'mutations'?

Alright those questions aside, this reminds quite a bit of a number of Shounen manga and anime, but I'm guessing that's the point, as this is supposed to be a shounen manga.

Onto the Astral Hunters.
Spoiler
Okay, Hang on. So before I get into who the Astral Hunters are, I have to address this. If Aeon formed the Court, which (correct me if I'm wrong) is basically a world government ruled by the Astral Hunters, there shouldn't be nations left to oppose him. This is just something about human nature, if there are multiple nations there's a reason for it and they're probably not going to take the whole "Hey guys by the way I'm not letting you fall back on your old inter-human warring ways so I'm taking over," sitting down, they would have resisted and fought back immediately there would have been no chance for an era of peace without the Astral Hunters giving the armies of these nations a serious beat down first. That's just my two cents on that front.

So with the souls of the Astral Hunters stuffed inside another person, are they still conscious, and perhaps fighting to take control of their host's body? Just a food for thought there.

All in all, this seems like an interesting world that I look forward to see living and breathing in a story. I hope the points and questions I brought up above are helpful to you in the development process, and if you would ever like to discuss world building in general it is one of my greatest passions, I've spent the past year working on a fully living breathing world of my own from geography, to culture and religion it's my jam.  :thumbsup:
8
General Discussion / Re: Drawing with Devola!
« Last post by devola on November 19, 2017, 07:04:20 PM »
@ Lewdcat
Sorry, you'll have to get in line  ;)

@Eukocar
I'll send you the Discord info via PM, I forgot to check back here but the practice session you missed should be archived in the Discord chat! Tonight's study will be a very thorough examination of Kimi no Nawa, I'm gonna be watching the entire movie while taking notes and doing on the go sketches to prep for tomorrow's exercises. You're welcome to join for that.
9
Develop Your Story / ASTRAL Lore - The Astral Hunters
« Last post by Gasha on November 19, 2017, 03:36:24 PM »
Hi guys! Gasha here. Thanks for taking the time to read further into the upcoming Manga series ASTRAL. This is a project 3 years in the making and, as promised, we’re going to continue giving you guys sneak peeks into the world I’ve created! Today we take a look at one of the most pivotal aspects of the Shounen - The legendary Astral Hunters. Who they were, what they stood for and what happened to them. Thanks for reading :)        -Gasha

The Astral Hunters:

The Astral Hunters were Hunters of unparalleled power that existed over 700 years ago. Where most Hunters of that time suffered negative side effects from Transfusion of Beast Blood, the Astral Hunters were 10 individuals, rumored to be descendants of the First Hunter himself, whose blood blended harmoniously with the Beast Blood and the resulting combination created Hunters unlike anything else the world had ever seen, void of any negativities other Hunters were facing at the time. Their unmatched strength forged them as Heroes in the eyes of the populace, their power being that of Gods; because of this, they were dubbed Astral Hunters by the Nations of the world and together, they protected mankind from the threat of the Monsters.

Once the Monsters had been culled to manageable levels and were no longer a threat to humanities existence, mankind began to turn on itself once again, giving in to petty differences and old rivalries between Nations. Aeon, one of the most powerful of the Astral Hunters, was unwilling to allow the world to revert back to its old ways. Having convinced the other Hunters to join him, the Astral Hunters formed The Court, made up of all ten of the Astral Hunters -

Aeon - the founder of The Court, whose mutation allowed him to manipulate time and space. After witnessing the atrocities of humanity, Aeon decided humans could no longer freely govern themselves and needed a higher power to command them.

Lucia - the most powerful of the Astral Hunters, Lucia’s mutation allowed her to conduct and manipulate a unique form of Lightning Mana far more powerful than standard Lightning - this power was called Lucia’s Light.

Citicus - One Of the most secretive of the Astral Hunters, with questionable motives. His mutation allowed him to perform a new form of magic called Necromancy, which was looked down upon by the general populace. He generally secluded himself from the rest of the Astral Hunters and he founded the Metropolis of Sera.

Kael - rivals with Lucia and forever envious of her power, Kael was a brash and antagonistic Hunter who consistently fought Aeon over the leadership of The Court. His mutation allowed him to not only conduct Fire at unmatched ferocity, but allowed him to Cinderstep, transforming his body into burning smoke and embers and reappear in another location at high speeds.

Payne - the youngest of The Court, Vayne was a prodigious Hunting specialist whose mutation heightened her senses far beyond that of regular Hunters. She could call Mana to a specific sense, increasing that sense temporarily. Because of this, she generally used her heavy crossbows and smaller hand-crossbows in combat, able to accurately hit targets at impossible ranges.

Theron - Theron was considered the weakest in terms of combat compared to the rest of the other Astral Hunters, but he was still leagues ahead of standard Hunters. The gentlest of The Court, Theron’s mutation allowed him to heal any wound on himself or anyone he touched.

Vern - Vern was Aeons elder brother, who disagreed with him on nearly every point. Vern greatly believed in Humanity and believed that someday true peace would be achieved through love and compassion. Verns mutation granted him strength, speed and endurance leagues above average.

Solis - Solis was Vern’s best friend and the father of Payne. His mutation allowed him to directly call upon energies of the Sun, using intense heat and radiation to defeat his enemies.

Umbra - Umbra was an Astral Hunter whose mutation allowed him to open rifts to and from Space. He would often pull entire meteorites from the cosmos to hurl at his enemies. Umbra was considered the most dangerous of the Astral Hunters next to Aeon, due to his ability to pull his enemies into the Cosmos.

Raa - Raa was an Astral Hunter whose mutation allowed him to have full control over ice and cold, however, he could only use the immensely destructive spells in short supply as he could potentially freeze his own body through overuse. He could create entire blizzards and snowstorms which engulfed regions.


When the Court was formed, an era of forced peace began - but overtime, by the actions of Kael(who regularly injured and even sometimes killed disorderly civilians)and Citicus, whose necromantic practices caused fear within the populace, the Nations deemed the Astral Hunters far too powerful to be allowed to live. The Nations of the World made a deal with Citicus, offering his assistance in exchange for the bodies of the Astral Hunters, which he wanted to resurrect and use to his own benefit. Citicus summoned legions of undead, and with his strength combined with the Nations Hunters, one by one the Astral Hunters fell. With Citicus’ help, the Nations prevailed - but they had no intention of honoring their agreement. Instead, with each Astral Hunter slain, the Nations stripped their souls from their bodies and sealed them to be used as weapons, sealed within human hosts, called Astral Hosts. Each Nation received one Astral Spirit, which they sealed within a human vessel. These Hoss inherit a portion of their Astral Spirits power, creating immensely powerful Hunters under the control of the Nation. With the end of The Court, the age of the Great Nations began, and peace was at an end as the lust for power once again took over humanity.




Thanks for reading. Next week we’ll be bringing you more ASTRAL Lore, this time touching on the Astral Hosts and what they are, their abilities, etc. See you next week :)
- Gasha



10
Welcome Center / Re: Oi Mangaraiders, I'm Ogono.
« Last post by Ogono on November 19, 2017, 11:49:49 AM »
Will do! :)
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