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Messages - Cj45

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yeh sorry im re-reading it now i wrote it on word and a lot of the grammar didnt transfer over when i copied and pasted for some reason  i might have to copy it out directly sorry guys

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okay before you read the story if ive formatted this incorectly or i havent tagged this correcly im sorry. Secondly im posting this here for good AND bad reviews i wanna get better and honest reviews are the only way to do this ( but please dont rip me to shreds it is my first time writing anything like this) anyway dont let me put you off carry on reading.

‘Come on please I need that it’s my sisters’ the boy pleaded wiping the blood from his nose ‘Its not worth anythin anyway. Seriously please just gi—‘The boy slid down the trunk of the tree clutching his stomach trying to draw all the air that had been knocked out of him. ‘Shut up’ hissed the first man greedily eying the pendant ‘anyway if it aint valuable why you ssso desperate to keep it, huh? DON’T LIE TO SLIPTER BOY’ the sudden change in tone surprised the boy and at once the biggest but dumbest looking of the three men pounced upon the surprised look ‘Look slipter the weaklings being a liar let me smack him please slipter let me smack the son of a bitch’ at once the man called slipter turned and glared at the large man. The big man in turn recoiled in fear covering his face as if shielding his eys from the venom of a cobra. At once slipter began to cackle. A cough from the tree interrupted the small man’s laugh.  I’m not lying its*cough* not valuable I swear*cough* just please can I—‘‘SHUT UP, WHY YOU WANT IT THEN ? STOP LYING TO SLIPTER’ with this slipter struck the boy across the face again. From behind the three men came a rustle. ‘I’LL KILL YOU BOY STOP LYING’. The big man turned and let out a sound of surprise ‘Huh?’ . Slipter so consumed with his rage at the boys apparent lying didn’t notice the sound  at first but eventually he slowly turned his head and glared at the big man with such anger in his eyes that the big man physically flinched. ‘ Jean? you done with that girl already?’ Slipters eyes shone with the thought of the naked young girl lying just out of sight battered and bruised’ If you’ve broken her im gonna cut you jean, I still want my go with her’. There was a rustling in the bushes. When no reply came slipter eyed the bush suspiciously but before he could say anything there was a louder rustle and the body of the man that was Jean slowly rolled through the leaves and stopped at the bottom of the small incline where slipter stood. The big man raised his club trying to appear threating and slipter looked from one corner of his eye to the other surveying the small opening in which they stood. The boy was so occupied with catching his breath  and his eyes so full of blood he did not realise the situation confronting his tormentors and once again pleaded for the return of his pendant ‘ it aint worth nothing *wheeze*it’s my sister’s that’s all’ Slipter , who only understood greed, was so frustrated by the boys answer that he forgot his situation and turned on the boy gripping his dagger so tightly his knuckles went white ‘ STOP LYING WHY YOU WANT IT IF IT WORTH NOTHING?!’Everything was still. Both the boy and Slipter were confused as to why neither had felt the dagger sink into the boy. Then with eyes open wide in fear and surprise Slipter slowly looked down at the pale hand that held his arm perfectly still inches away from the boys face. Slipter slowly followed the muscled arms and up the broad shoulders until he was staring at a pair of light red eyes so close that he could feel breath upon his face. The man spoke calmly and deliberately ‘ he told you he why wants it , like he said it belonged to our sister’ and with those words the man sprung back sliding across the leaves as he landed, there was a thud where the large mans club connected with the ground, Slipter wailed as he shouted at the large man to kill the intruder and the forest exploded into action.



Anyway that was just a intro of sorts i just put together not too much planning went it so pleas eput a review (if you could one good thing and one bad thing would be good please thanks guys)
Cj

3
break Room / Re: Anyone else read or have read Ares vagrant soldier?
« on: June 20, 2014, 06:23:35 PM »
Wait did u read it and not like it or is it me going on and on cause if it is uhhh sorry ? Its just i really like it and think it deserves more recognition im sire maestro agrees

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break Room / Re: Post your birthday ...
« on: June 20, 2014, 06:17:22 PM »
28 06 1999 soon now  :notunderstand: in young huh

5
Music / Re: Favorite Band/Artist?
« on: June 20, 2014, 06:11:38 PM »
From fear to eternity is great lots of remasters and a wide range of their stuff i like powerslave a lot and piece of mind is quite iconic

6
break Room / Re: Anyone else read or have read Ares vagrant soldier?
« on: June 20, 2014, 06:05:25 PM »
Have u read any of the authors other stuff but god i want to make it more popular so there's a chance of an anime (i know it wont happen but le me dream)

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break Room / Re: Anyone else read or have read Ares vagrant soldier?
« on: June 20, 2014, 12:28:14 PM »
Yeh baroona is awesome there's way more chapters than i thought cause there's like 2 chapters which are 200 pages each i never realised it was so under the radar but my god i wish it would be bebmade into n anime cause tht would just be bloody amazing  :ohmy:

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break Room / Re: Anyone else read or have read Ares vagrant soldier?
« on: June 19, 2014, 05:13:38 PM »
Yeh sorry not listening to my self. would say more but England are out of the world cup now ffs......... >:(


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break Room / Re: Anyone else read or have read Ares vagrant soldier?
« on: June 19, 2014, 01:03:45 PM »
Trust me it gets good. Really good. I listen to my Iron Maiden playlist while i read it its great but fair enough at the start its not great but really its great im reading it now Youre missing out if you havent read it
Stop read this crap and go read it
CJ

10
Starter Gallery / Re: Bad drawigns little hepl please
« on: June 19, 2014, 12:38:11 PM »
sorry :blush:

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break Room / Re: Anyone else read or have read Ares vagrant soldier?
« on: June 19, 2014, 12:37:24 PM »
IKR its so great to meet someone else who reads it. Gotta agree its just gritty and bloddy enough for something about war but the twist with Micheal really really hurt me deep in my soul :( ( he WAS my fav character) but yeh its great cant wait to read all of it

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Music / Re: Favorite Band/Artist?
« on: June 19, 2014, 12:35:02 PM »
I used to be obsesses with run to the hills but some of their lesser known stuff is just ... :clapping:

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Manga Writers wanted / Re: Manga artist looking for good writer
« on: June 18, 2014, 04:41:19 PM »
Thts pretty cool any special powers can the guy with glasses teleport or sumthin ?

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Welcome Center / Re: Uhhh guess i should say hi first?hi.
« on: June 18, 2014, 04:32:31 PM »
Thanks for all the welcome messages and timezone tells people its hepling me decide when to come on thanks

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Music / Re: Favorite Band/Artist?
« on: June 18, 2014, 04:28:51 PM »
I like kiss not gonna lie but IRON MAIDEN are just the greatest rock band ever sorry if tht contradicts what uve said but the truth hurts lol just messin but seriously give Iron maiden a chance their not quite as heavy as everyone thinks em to be but they can be heavy and id have to say its between paschendale and man on the edge for my fav song bith by iron maiden
CJ

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