August 20, 2019, 01:07:19 AM

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Messages - evand498

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5
1
Can you check my PM Mkdanon

2
Yeah I don't want to deal with procrastination either and what your offering is very interesting its just I'm tight with money I want to be able to have this as a job one day and support myself. If it were the case we can practice our drawing skills together making this with satisfying art like I would imagine. Like making story boards and webtooning it page by page several times and redrawing it over and over in the sense that I would very much love my talent and story very much. I'm just hoping that I can be my own manga artist. This is something I have to think about??

3
I changed the prologue to make it more simpler

The Ancient threat levels are contracted with the secrets of learning the true terrestrial power. 1 of the Ancient threat level called the Giant Mandarin fish becomes implanted in the world of coma and death. This only plays a role in one of the characters name Andou a boy who needs to evacuate the Ancient Civilization due to the valuable secrets of the Ancient Civilization Market. As he reaches outside of the border. The world he carries one day affects other people. Andou and the others plot to subdue every Amalgamation event due to the Dead People who brought history and magic in the world of modern society.

I got some ideas for the tournament after the sewer dungeon

S class
A class
B class (Top 5 in tournament) Andou, Elliot, Oulu, Dmitri and Motarike
C class (Have to go to the tournament and get top 10)
D class (Everyone starts off here by doing a test at their organization)

After passing the tournament each class gets a contract a golden letter. This golden letters reveals the Ancient threat level to able to be a Ancient Threat Conqueror you have to learn the true terrestrial power you have to subdue the world of the Ancient threat level.

This is one of the Ancient threat level which is connected with the secrets of the Ancient Civilization Market. This Ancient Threat Level will bring the ones who are involve to do missions like for example the clan war waves or the wilderness of hell. There will be a Magisterial Esper there to fight you plus train you and he will tell you when you can exit the world. This is the Ancient Threat Level called the Giant Mandarin Fish. I can explain it. The whole world becomes a small area leaving just a house and caves around it below it is a big pit all around you can imagine it to be just like Zathura and there you will find the Giant Mandarin Fish that everyone scared about.

Then you have the Asian Lung Period and The Mimes which is the low class kingdom having also a Ancient Threat Level a world of their own. As I can say it will be different in how the characters will encounter them. They might have their own individual exploit around these type of situations. I have many ideas as well but I think i'll focus presently on what I have and reveal later.

They'll have many different situations I want to make it epic like fate stay night and hunter x hunter plus katekyo hitman reborn and a certain magical index etc..

4
contact me soon

5
Sounds like a great idea I'm gonna be writing and see this thread if I get anymore community feedback

6
Check your email man, hope to see your projects

7
I want to reach that dream too you can check out my thread diesinglong. I want to be my own manga artist and achieve progress the same as you I am planning to do webtoons, satisfy my artskills, write alot, go to manga school like kyoto seika, be a manga assistant, become a manga artist and have physical copies. If I get to see your works maybe you can connect with me on twitter maybe we can work something out and help each other reach our goals.

8
- I agree with that

One thing I do when I'm struggling to plot a chapter/arc is I make a couple of lists. I list the objectives that I the writer want to achieve, the goals and motivations of the main characters involved and any major events/developments I want to happen.

From there, I bullet point the arc. It gives me a rough skeleton of the plot and helps figure out which pieces go where and what scenes will be pivotal. It also helps with hammering out any major inconsistencies or plot holes.

 - I don't agree with that. I would like to make it the first arc because it is exciting with a thrill and when the scenarios pop in then the viewers could figure our how they can be introduce to the characters and it could be explained later. I could set up the world and the conflict, i'll see what I can do

My advice for the arc in question would be to put it in the second arc of your plot. Spend the first introducing the characters, setting up the world and showing the reader the conflict that happens that tears his life apart and requires him to flee.

 - The Sewer Dungeon is the first part of the story because I want it to make it look like to the viewers to try to figure out whats going on. There isn't any other routes but there could be one route though that would be introduce further in the story which is forbidden for the characters or something like that.

The Sewer could be seen as a last resort perhaps and referred to as they attempt other routes.

 - Yeah that seems ok but there would be trials, twist and deaths. Dramatic stuff but not too dramatic I'll have to see what I can do. It would be like not a regroup but entering a alliance with foes and allies where they all have to trust each other. Idk how to explain it but Andou is the only one who really needs to evacuate the Ancient Civilization and about the others i'm trying to figure that out as well. As explain Andou Dad Siegmund has plans from the Ancient Civilization Market and enemies are after it so they can expand their territory but there could be other corruption in the Ancient Civilization but I want to make it clear that the Ancient Civilization is not a bad place. 

Perhaps the culmination of the first arc would one such attempt. They regroup and then try the sewer to cross the border and into the other territories.



Yeah and I want to know what this means I like the sound of it I can use it: Does the superior ranking allow him to pass through the border uninhibited? What you said earlier remember?

9
I speak only English i'm Filipino and 12.5% Chinese I'm just not good with comprehension and cognitive but I can understand well. Thanks for the meaningful questions I'll have to ask myself those ones when I can. Yeah I agree with you I'm over complicating things when I should simplify things segment by segment I just don't know how to do that. Hope I can later on.

 - When in the story do the events of this dungeon/tournament take place? (A rough percentage of completion is fine)

Well its a borderline to get to the other side the terrestrial territories. So at the beginning Main character is being evacuated from the Ancient Civilization like trouble is coming. So Kilimanjaro the organizer of the band of misfits is going to get him to the other side with Elliot. The band of misfits is chosen from family blood just like katekyo hitman reborn mafia family.

 - How many characters are involved? Grand total, and how many of that grand total are part of the main cast of character?

There are deadly magic organizations but I wouldn't say kingdoms 3 of them are low class kingdoms compared to the Golden Kingdom. Mime, Serpent Knight and Asian Lung.



There is Andou, Elliot, Oulu, Motarike, Irugin Andou brother and Dimitri there could also be girl characters and younger characters some of them could help but others are not a part of the help they just support characters.

Variety of characters clash like hitman, demons and dead people but I would like it to be somewhat a one man show and for some characters to have there own individual exploit. There could be death involve scenario to scenario also good for character development.

Andou, Elliot and Oulu are mainly the main cast but I also like a group of people just like Ueki and his team in the law of ueki or like tokyo underground anime I also like soul society in bleach and hunters association in hunter x hunter.

Irugin I like to based of of anime characters such as Hibari Kyoya from KHR anime, Nishi from Gantz but not personality like him, Sai from naruto, Kurei from flame of recca. Kinda want to make him like sesshomaru in inuyasha or like a Jellal character in fairy tail. Motarike Pisuke can be around but I'm trying to figure out his character to my own liking.

Oh yeah there is Lchiv one main antagonist villain in the 10 most deadly magic organization. Ancestor to Andou and Irugin. Lchiv possesses the power of the pterodactyl. Lchiv can transform into a pterodactyle and can be a Asian Lung combined with pterodactyle. He is also known as Mame Puteradakuchiru his ethnicity was forwarded to Andou and Irugin when they were born. I could figure out outfits later I like Marie Antoinette clothing and Mythology for the villains some could look like ninja or whatever.

Siegmund Hamilton involved with Ancient Civilization market, enemies are after Ancient Civilizations and plans rarely not heard. Father of Andou and Irugin he becomes deaf and dumb due to a accident to his physical well being.

Other than that trying to figure out characters

 - In a single sentence, what is the result of this arc going to be? If you can't sum this entire thing up using a single sentence, then I can tell you just from that that you have over complicated the whole thing

Escaping Corruption of the Ancient Civilization so that Andou can live life from being not being a fugitive. I want to get around what What Vacant said: Does the superior ranking allow him to pass through the border uninhibited? Between Ancient Civilzation and Terrestrial Territories. A High Spirits license could be involve like

Ranking system 5 tiers like one punch man

S class
A class
B class (Top 5 in tournament)
C class (Have to go to the tournament and get top 10)
D class (Everyone starts off here by doing a test at their organization)

 - What do you want your readers to feel during this arc? If you can, sum it up in a single word.

HYPE and feeling the suspense.
 
 - Now tell me what makes that word different from the word you would chose for the arcs on either side of this one.

There isn't a belonging seems like the character is lost he wants to do something about it. He wants to have a enjoyable life.

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Right Now I want to understand the Sewer Dungeon story and how I could build it so that the characters can go to the shrine tournament and gain access to the terrestrial territories.

10
Develop Your Story / Re: stuck at a crossroad
« on: July 21, 2019, 05:19:03 PM »
thanks it means a lot Coryn

11
water levels, other people (rivals)

elevator cage
scavenger hunt
making a cage to use an an elevator like finding random bars and melting them together
Mandarin Fish knights
Giant Mandarin Fish knight Boss..

for the sewer dungeon and yes I agree with the giant labyrinth and puzzles. So far I put 20 people in there and including 5 boat men called the trumpets who wore astronaut outfits also having lance weapons and having air tanks on their backs they are gonna be sorted in groups of 4 and later on enters the gate with a grimoire and suddenly gets separated by a multiple water falls.  A water fall is about to begin. Zero and Abraham team manage to close a floor so that It wouldn’t reach bottom. Now they are all in different groups.

Andou, Elliot and Oulu reach a pathway that led to a guessing room. This room gave out a puzzling quiz. It needed Gregorian grimoire, colorful stones. It had to be put in order. It gave out riddles to find each stone.

Turtle, Motarike and Bursey met up in underneath a pile of stone steps and cliffs leading to various caves.

There was one entrance leading to another one but it needed a grimoire and colorful rocks. First they have to get Gregorian. Gregorian is the one who used his grimoire in the slot of gate entrance of the sewer dungeon.

Ross, Gregorian, Zero, Cyanide and Avellino were all alone trying to find ways to activate a bridge leading to another bridge.

Bompensiero, Todd, Salvatore, Maud, Reiji, and Dimitri come across with 2 mandarin fish knights blocking a gate leading to a lever for water. With this lever they can enter another path. This situation will bring out terror.

Andou and the others left the room they found swinging boats. They decided to separate when they landed each pulled their own lever. The boat became a rollercoaster leading to a anonymous location. Hoping to find Gregorian and his grimoire.

for those who don't look at the link I can explain here but atleast look at the wikia

1) Start with a situation/problem
2) Character needs to find a solution to problem
3) By finding the solution the character is rewarded with a skill and/or item in the future based on how they solved the problem

To make it more interesting repeat steps 1 and 2 before going onto step 3
Example
1) Room is flooding
2) Andou/Elliot notice the airtanks on the Trumpets and ask to share
1) The Trumpets refuse
2) Andou/Elliot take the airtanks by force
1) The room is now flooded and they don't know how to get out
2) They try exiting through a doorway underwater
1) Turns out to be a dead end
2) They go back and find the real exit
3) Upon reaching the surface Andou/Elliot now have airtanks in their possession

I'm also thinking I wonder how the sacred water vase peak and other abilities can be introduce for Andou I was thinking that he gets a concussion to activate his powers. When he saves the day I want it to make it similar with like the Gantz mission when Kei Kurono vs. the tanaka alien.

I want to put a twist where Kilamanjaro helps Andou get the turf leader sealed in his amulet but something happens during the fight where he becomes an enemy and turns into this



after that there's a tunnel and a pathway leading to a shrine tournament. A Tournament to upgrade ranking could be a ordeal to rank against espers. We hope the characters get passed through. What do you mean: Does the superior ranking allow him to pass through the border uninhibited?

Yeah I mean like other parts of the story I would like to put stuff like similar in championship unreal like capture the flag, catch the ball, or team death match. Stuff like that but for now will just have these situations that lead Andou and some people leave the Ancient Civilization and then I want to introduce a couple of characters through out the story while Andou gets a manufacturing/laborer job and goes to school. I could also put delinquents in other parts of the city having their own turf in a abandon school and can put mafia and hitman in there. Some random esper can target Siegmund sons just get into Siegmunds plans. Later on these individual have there own exploits facing deadly magic organizations having there own situation. Btw Siegmund is deaf and dumb due to a accident to his physical well being.

Trying to figure out the sewer dungeon and its scenarios

12
Develop Your Story / Re: stuck at a crossroad
« on: July 20, 2019, 07:17:58 PM »
Hey Viking are you good now and Coryn can you check out my thread
yeah I'm good, I solved the problem I had

Thats good

13
Develop Your Story / Re: stuck at a crossroad
« on: July 20, 2019, 07:16:38 PM »
Yeah Coryn last time I had patience no one bothered to look at my thread I was being ghosted. But I can try to have patience, I hope to hear from you http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,19556.msg301266/topicseen.html#msg301266

14
MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2019
« on: July 20, 2019, 08:50:54 AM »
Can any of you guys check out my thread called Diesinglong

15
Develop Your Story / Re: stuck at a crossroad
« on: July 20, 2019, 08:49:38 AM »
Hey Viking are you good now and Coryn can you check out my thread

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