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Messages - OhGodHelpMe

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MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2017
« on: September 24, 2017, 02:25:16 PM »
I'll bite.

1) not all labor should equal each other (doctor vs plumber) or should it???

No, it shouldn't. You're going to face a serious problem when you have jobs that hire on the fly and jobs that require degrees, tens of thousands of dollars in tuition fees, and years of studying all pay out equally. The value of a degree and college in general plummets, and yet it will still be a requirement to get those jobs. Granted, anyone who wants to become a doctor will become a doctor if that's their passion, but there's less incentive for others to take all that time and money and invest it in their education instead of just being the plumber who gets paid the same amount.

Realistically, I can't imagine an actual scenario where a traditionally low paying job matches a traditionally high paying job, but the decrease in value of a degree is a real issue. Work has value, and though that value can't be pinned to an exact salary, we shouldn't be in a position where work that requires a specialized set of skills and education pays the same as any other job. Well, unless you believe in Communism, I guess.

2)min wage has not kept up with inflation. ($ is worth less than before) does it matter???

Take a good look at Venezuela if you want to see what happens when a country raises the minimum wage in an effort to put more money in the hands of its people, all while inflation spirals out of balance with the minimum wage itself. But in a more relevant example, let's just go back to the US, I suppose. I'll be going by data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Census Bureau.

The idea is that if you raise minimum wage, you're helping the poor earn more money. The reality is that of all the people working at the Federal minimum wage, only 22% are below the poverty line. 68% of those people produce income that's 150% over the poverty line. 62% of these people are in school during the non-summer months. These numbers play out the way they do because most of the people who work at the minimum wage are teens and young adults, with most of them enrolled in school. More than half of the older folks who work at the minimum wage only work part time as a means of gaining extra income, with most of them earning around $42,500 in family income, well above the poverty line of $33,500 for a a family of four. Raising minimum wage means you're increasing the earnings of teenagers and young adults who are already well above the poverty line. You wouldn't really be helping the poor as much.

Seeing as the US already has an inflation rate of nearly 2% (Versus Japan having 0.2%, last time I checked), I'm pretty certain that the only thing you'd get out of increasing the minimum wage is increased prices and unemployment. Prices rise because of the issue of minimum wage not being kept in balance with inflation, and unemployment because your average business will be quicker to fire most of their employees in the face of an increased minimum wage than keep them all. If your minimum wage is at $8, it's easier for a business to consider hiring two people and paying them a total of $16 per hour, but if the wage is at $16, the other person is getting fired. so they're not spending $32 per hour for those two people. And a lot of the businesses that will raise their prices to account for all of this are going to be places like Walmart or your local fast food place, places where those who are actually poor are going to do most of their shopping. At the end of all of it, you would have helped no one.

A weak currency provides issues in international trade as well, but honestly, we pedal the Dollar like a criminal organization. There are goods in this world that you can only purchase with US currency, requiring buyers to get some $ in order to make the purchase. That's probably one of the only things keeping the Dollar from completely falling under at this point, but I digress.

It matters in a multitude of ways, especially considering that raising the minimum wage will most likely the exact opposite effect than intended.

3) majority believe in trickle down economy without citing examples of when it workeD.

Why spend your fortune when you can just can stash it in a Swiss bank or an offshore account free from taxes and government reach? I don't personally believe in trickle down economics.

4) tariffs hurt business which should be eliminated (but what about homegrown products which are usually more expensive? Remember buy American  :sick:)

Tariffs hurt foreign businesses and protect domestic ones. You really don't want to be in a position where your own Automobile industry is stagnating because everyone is buying the latest cars shipped to your country from China or Japan. You'll end up importing yourself right out of being able to send out your own automobiles to other countries while keeping your domestic industries in healthy condition. Keep doing this to other industries, and I'll guarantee you're going to end up with a trade deficit (which we already have with China).

I don't really have any idea or solution for that kind of issue

MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2017
« on: September 23, 2017, 10:39:35 PM »
When will people learn that you can't just arbitrarily increase the minimum wage? I could write a book about my economic grievances with several nations.

"People Are Poor, So We Should Just Give Them More Money!: A Child's Guide to Economics"

General Manga writer discussions / Re: Tugging At Your Heartstrings
« on: September 22, 2017, 02:42:06 PM »
You, as the god of your universe, are just as responsible  :ninja: (Not that my hands are clean either)

Anyway, thanks for your advice, Op! I've been adding and reconstructing things in my stories as of late and desperately needed to nail the feeling of sorrow and somber doom during a particular section of DbEG's Letting Go arc. I'm still not sure if my application of this advice is sturdy enough, but it certainly helped me piece everything together  :thumbsup:

Develop Your Story / Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« on: September 22, 2017, 05:03:57 AM »
Re-Worked Letting Go Rousoku Finale

The finale to Rousoku's part of Letting Go was originally pretty trash, but hopefully this greatly improves things and nails the helpless misery this part of the story is supposed to capture  :hmm: If having your ex lover explode into a tidal wave of blood, bone, and organs ain't enough....

General Manga writer discussions / Re: Tugging At Your Heartstrings
« on: September 20, 2017, 04:19:26 PM »
Hold on, they all did too?! Op, you murderer!

General Manga writer discussions / Tugging At Your Heartstrings
« on: September 19, 2017, 01:29:58 AM »
When you're reading a story, whether it be on here or elsewhere, what is it, when a story is trying to convey sadness, that really tugs at your heartstrings? Is it the mere subject matter, something like a dying loved one? Is it overt sadness and drama that gets you, or a slow, painful march into the ultimate sorrow ahead? When a story is trying to make you feel this way, what specifically about the story or characters actually makes you feel saddened?

Trying to master the art of crushing sadness in my writing, so any input would be greatly valued  8)

Music / Re: OGHM's Wacky Slappy Guitar Riffs
« on: September 18, 2017, 02:29:28 AM »
OGHM solos on Taeko Ohnuki's 4AM

Develop Your Story / Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« on: September 15, 2017, 03:21:10 AM »

Develop Your Story / Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« on: September 12, 2017, 08:01:25 PM »
Thank you, I appreciate it! I commend anyone who manages to binge read this long, depressing tale  :ninja:

Anyway, I've been busy making a few adjustments here.
-The front page arc navigation is no longer a bloody mess. Links snap you right to the start of each arc
-Added Senkumo War Stories to the arc navigation
-If you haven't already been able to tell, I finally got around to doing some major reconstruction on the rather lackluster arc Letting Go. Much more depth being added to Rousoku's part of the story, as well as adding stories focused on Amatsutsuki and
-Will soon add the extra chapters for Inari Standoff to this thread, just so you don't have to go somewhere else to read them

Also just now realizing that Senkumo War Stories is 63 chapters long in totality  :ninja: By comparison, Dawn and Dusk was 20/21 chapters, Inari Standoff was 27, and The End of Osamu Ashikaga was around 42 or something like that. Geez...

MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2017
« on: September 10, 2017, 08:43:54 PM »
Someone hold me. I had a nightmare that anime didn't exist

Develop Your Story / Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« on: September 07, 2017, 05:43:57 PM »
Letting Go: She Who Gave Her Flesh, Her Kith and Kin
Ishigaki island was the island of your most pleasant, heavenly dreams. The wind, constantly tugging here and there at Shinju's blue poncho and fire-like hair like a playful child begging for attention, carried the salty aroma of the glittering, blue sea with it. The clear skies were as vibrant as the beautiful, green grass disturbed only by narrow, dirt roads leading across the island. The small, private jet Shinju arrived on sat parked behind her, her sunglasses-wearing pilot shouting out to her from the top of the retractable stairs.

Pilot: Be careful out there, Shinju! We'll be here if you need us!

Shinju smiled and held up two fingers in an optimistic peace sign.

Shinju: Don't worry about me! Enjoy your time here! Get a cool drink and something to eat!

The pilot saluted her with a cheek-lifting grin as she trotted along the dirt road. It didn't take her long to spot a small, white house situated just beyond the beach with a view of the ocean and its seemingly endless horizon. Shinju casually approached the entrance to the house, noticing that all the curtains were drawn, and yet the windows were open. She hesitated for a moment, looking around at her surroundings but noticing no other suspicious aspect of the house. Even the roses in the front yard grew and swayed inconspicuously in the wind.

Shinju: Don't mind if I just let myself in...

In an act that seemed unbecoming of a justice-loving girl like her, Shinju climbed through the open front window rather than knocking on the door or ringing a door bell. Her first step inside was one of creaking hard wood, followed by another thorough survey of the house with her eyes. The interior was a different story than the exterior. The couch in the living room, along with all of its pillows were toppled over and strewn about. Shards of broken glass shimmered and dazzled on the floor like sacred diamonds. Shinju carefully crept her way towards the bedroom, the door of which was covered in ofuda, all of them bearing the name "Tsukiakari Senkumo".

There were no noises, no signs of current activity beyond the door, nor anywhere else in the house. Yet still, Shinju took a deep breath as she wrapped her fingers around the bedroom doorknob, preparing for any unpleasant surprises or attacks. She released her breath and slowly opened the door, her hair immediately being flirted with by a sudden breeze coming from the open window in the bedroom. The blue of the sky reflected off of the wooden floor as even more ofuda flew around the room, just slightly obscuring Shinju's view.

Laying upon the canopy bed with the sheets drizzled with dried blood, a young girl no older than 14 opened her eyes as if she was just waking up. Shinju's heart dropped just looking at her, for most of what remained of her body was bandaged up completely. The bandages around her head spared only the sight of her one, blind eye and weakened smile. One of the sleeves of her white yukata lied flat on the bed due to her missing arm. The other was bandaged and rested across her stomach. Both of her legs were gone, and so nothing protruded out the bottom end of her yukata.

Shinju: Lucrezia? Is that you?

Lucrezia's voice carried with it the weight and sadness of exhaustion and forlorn hope.

Lucrezia: Shinju. I knew you'd come eventually. I'm sorry to shock you with such a sight. My flesh has been riven and torn asunder. I fear my heart is no different. It''s been a long time...Shinju. Since the failed mission to kill Hima Chinagaregawa, I believe.

Shinju had to catch her breathe and steady her heart, as if she had seen a phantom. Though she expected to find Lucrezia here, she could've never prepared herself for her terrible physical condition.

Shinju: What on earth happened to you?

Lucrezia: Punishments, of course. You know how cruel our handlers can be if we fail important missions. After we failed to assassinate Hima, I lost my right arm. That was the initial punishment, anyway. I had my face disfigured as additional punishment.

Shinju: Additional punishment? For what?!

Lucrezia: Asking for your pardon. The price for that was doubling up on my own punishment to make up for what was supposed to happen to you.

Shinju: ...And your legs?

Lucrezia: I lost those recently, as you can see. I removed them myself.

Lucrezia could see the weight of guilt bear down on Shinju's conscience. She averted her eyes from Lucrezia, cursing in whispered breath.

Lucrezia: I've always been the other side of your coin, Shinju. I never wanted you to feel guilty about any of this.

Shinju: How else am I suppose to feel? All these years, and you never once mentioned to me that I cost you your arm and face! Why did you cut off your own legs?! What the hell are you thinking?!

Lucrezia: I'm thinking that I want to protect you one last time, Shinju.

Shinju: What are you talking about?

Lucrezia: It was over a year ago, your mission to eradicate the Sentani twins, both Satori and Amatsutsuki. You successfully carried out the most important objective of that mission when you killed Satori and destroyed his mansion, burying all of his stolen toys in the rubble and exorcising the place. However, for some reason, you failed to accomplish the other half of your mission. You didn't kill Amatsutsuki. Why is that?

Shinju:...Killing her at the time would've required a war against Kyoto's crime syndicates. No one knew Amatsu's whereabouts, so going after her directly would've been far too risky. I may be Mizuhame's descendant, but I can't survive a bullet to the temple, Lucrezia.

Lucrezia: But she did reveal herself to you afterwards. You even scheduled to fight. She was supposed to die then, Shinju. What happened?

Shinju: Look, I saved the damn girl, alright? I saved her life instead of letting her die!

Lucrezia: Why?

Shinju remained silent.

Lucrezia: Shinju. I know how compassionate you can be. Finding alternative solutions that still fit within the realm of legality is part of your specialty. It's why you're so loved as an exorcist. But you had specific and strict orders to kill both of them, not just one. Continuing to harbor Amatsutsuki will put your lives in danger.

Shinju: So was it you? Did you organize the recent attempts on her life?

Lucrezia: Wow...I'm wondering how you figured that out so fast. You were always known for your quick thinking and nearly prophetic deductions, but this is something else. Why was I the first person you thought of?

Shinju: It wasn't some genius deduction, actually. It was just sheer luck. I had a list of suspects consisting of Kyoto's finest exorcists. It included you, Heavy Metal, Belle, and White Saint. I was going to visit all of them and question them about Amatsutsuki, but I lucked out on the first shot. I knew to check my fellow exorcists because I was completely aware of the dangers of keeping Amatsu alive. On the surface, you did a good job making it look like it was purely a re-emerging crime feud, but there's more to it after all, isn't there? That's why you used them to get to her. They have every reason to want her dead.

Lucrezia: You're right. You're right about it all. That's amazing, Shinju. I was the one who initiated the current Hunting Game for Amatsu's head. She knows everything about the crime syndicates of Kyoto and Tokyo. She knows the names of the police officers they bribe, the accountants they use to help launder their money, the lawyers they hire to keep them out of trouble, their contraband smuggling routes, safehouse locations, weapons dealers, she knows it all. Hearing that Amatsutsuki was alive naturally sent them into a panic. Everyone was eager to tie up the loose end. I only blew on a rock that was already about to fall off the cliff, Shinju. Eventually, this would've happened without my help. So, I'm afraid that I'm only a single part of the puzzle here. An insignificant one at that.

Shinju: Is getting Amatsu killed your way of protecting me too?

Lucrezia: Of course. I preemptively cut off my legs, you see. I had to find a way to scrub away your sin and draw their attention to me instead. I had to eat your crime and commit one of my own. I figured that would be the perfect diversion, so that Amatsu could've already been dealt with by the time they come to me asking questions. Having already lost my legs, I fear no punishment from them. All they can take from me now is my life, and I don't care too much for it anyway.

Shinju sat at the foot of the bed, realizing that Lucrezia couldn't even see her. She was looking in Shinju's general direction, but she couldn't see well enough in order to make eye contact with her. Shinju's inner sadness grew just a little more bitter upon her realization.

Shinju: You damned fool. I'm working to save Amatsu right now.

Lucrezia: Oh...I see. Well, I expected you would do that. Regardless, the gangs of Kyoto will try to kill her. I doubt even you can fight them off.

Shinju: You have the gangs on your side, and I've got Tsukiakari, Cyanide, and the Shoku Twins on mine, with Izanami as our ace in the hole. I think we can manage.

Lucrezia: Shinju, you know the problem with getting gods involved in human affairs.

Shinju: They know as well. They don't care. What you didn't realize when you did what you did is that Amatsutsuki was taken into a large family of...irregular people. It is the only family right now where humans are intermarried with gods. So for them, it's a personal issue. In that regard, they have every right to intervene. None of them know that my mission was to kill both of them, so even if a squad of exorcists come busting down their door, they can't be held legally responsible.

Lucrezia: And you? What would happen to you if such an event occurred?

Shinju: I'd be punished despite your sacrifices. What I don't get is why a 14 year old girl would sacrifice her mind and body for me, over and over again, over the course of many years. You're so young, Lucrezia. It just wasn't supposed to be this way. You've robbed yourself of a future, and for what?

Lucrezia smiled, her lips trembling just slightly.

Lucrezia: It's a simple reason, but the words themselves are so difficult to say, Shinju. One thing I can say is that I've put all my faith in you as Heaven's Police Officer, as an agent for change. But that can't happen if you ever end up like me.

Shinju: An agent for change?

Lucrezia: The lives of exorcists are nothing but suffering. We're human pawns forced to do the bidding of the divine, to carry out their edicts and laws. Often, our failures result in...this. You know, Belle recently lost her eyes as punishment. Her eyes, the poor girl. Eventually, this system will need to stop, don't you think? Someone will need to change all of this for the better, so that no more children have to fight and lose their limbs for refusing to do so.

Shinju: Damn it, Lucrezia! It's like you're stuck in your own wildest dreams! You're asking for a revolution that I can't give you! There's nothing I can do about your lost limbs, or Belle's lost eyes! It's like everyone thinks I'm invincible or something because I'm related to Izanami! Despite your wildest expectations of me, I'm still a human! Someday, I'll die, just like the rest of you! I can't save the world and erase all of its great evils! I can only do so much!

Lucrezia:...Are you angry with me?

Fighting back her own tears, Shinju turned her back to Lucrezia, whose smile faded into a guilty frown.

Shinju: I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm denying the wish of a dying child...

Lucrezia: You know...I've always thought of you as my hero. The great Shinju Miyakawa, one of the most renowned exorcists on earth. You were always enveloped in that shroud of mystery, this elusive veil of heroic essence. Even now, you're still my hero. I don't believe you'll be some sort of leader of a grand revolution, nor do I expect you to fulfill such a tall role. But one day, Shinju, I think you'll be put in a situation where you really have to decide who you want to be.

Shinju returned her sorrowful gaze to Lucrezia.

Lucrezia: When that time comes, will Shinju Miyakawa be an exorcist, or a hero of her own right and her own world?

Shinju: What is this? You do prophecies now?

The joke produced a joyful giggle out of Lucrezia.

Lucrezia: It's just my gut feeling.

Shinju: And what will you do when that time comes?

Lucrezia: Oh, I doubt I'll be alive to see it, Shinju. But if I am, I'll continue to cheer for you and protect you.

*N O I R*

Shinju: Come on, don't talk like that. Don't tell me you're not going to be alive when you're so young.

Lucrezia: Look at me, Shinju. I'm not going to last much longer. I really didn't want to end my life with you and I as enemies. I'm sorry.

Shinju: We may be at odds, but I'll never consider anyone who sacrifices their body for me as an enemy. You're just a misguided young girl who thought that someone like me was worthy of being your hero. Still...I can at least be the best Shinju Miyakawa you've ever seen. And you get front row seat, Lucrezia!

Shinju suddenly pulled her up by her arm, bringing her in for a warm, tranquil embrace. Shinju unwound the bandages around her head, revealing Lucrezia's long, thick head of snow-white hair that glared in the sunlight like threads of heaven's clouds. More than half of her face, discolored and scarred by old burns, still maintained its childish innocence and curious, adolescent glow. Though she couldn't see Shinju out of her remaining, blind eye, she could feel her and breathe in her aromatic scent like never before. Shinju's embrace felt like sunshine, and her very aura felt like a countryside home.

Shinju: You're too young to die for my sake. How cruel are you? Let the hero take the risks for you, not the other way around. If you die, you'll break my heart.

Like a dam cracking and crumbling under the pressure of a torrential downpour, Lucrezia's entire body shivered as gentle whimpers escaped her lips. She held onto Shinju tightly with the one arm she had, as if she were a prized possession, a rock during a storm. Her whimpers quickly erupted into thunderous, heartbreaking sobbing, for Shinju finally allowed her to release all of her years of suffering.

Shinju: You fool. You're more of a hero than I could ever be...

Develop Your Story / Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« on: August 30, 2017, 08:54:39 PM »
Yep, Osamu's been that down before. The Corpse's Romance is about Osamu's life before he left Kyoto, and how he tried to commit suicide at Izanami's shrine. That's how they met.

Looks like you're almost done with the first arc, Lego! After Aika Crisis comes War Cloud  :clapping:

Develop Your Story / Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« on: August 28, 2017, 06:14:21 PM »
I had been wondering if this script/novel hybrid format would work on a kindle while I transition the rest of the story to traditional novel format  :hmm:
Ah, lucky for you, next chapter is an Izanami chapter

Manga Writer workshop / Re: Writers Novel Marathon Workshop: Day 22
« on: August 22, 2017, 12:58:26 AM »
The Coming Storm - Parts 9-11 - Op13
More reminders of the ridiculous requirements of the military. HEY JUMP INTO THIS POOL OF ICE COLD WATER WITH ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES AND 40 POUNDS OF GEAR ON. Of course, it's all to produce the best quality of troops. Let's see, important bits. Nothing wrong with the writing itself. It's all been consistently superb, in fact! No grammar or spelling issues as far as I saw. Since these were training chapters, the dialogue was strict and rigid, as one would inspect from their instructors. Made it feel pretty real  :clapping:

That weapon just seems messy. Messy, but effective. I mean, the safety gear it requires, the training it requires, the troops were learning how to NOT blow themselves up with the damn thing. Is that the weapon's fault, or would it be the fault of a novice? Either way, did Kondor really give them a shipment of some of their best infantry weaponry, or were these table scraps? You never know in this universe  :ninja:

Forever in Our Dreams - Part 7- Krurisuchristina
So short! Ah well, we're steadily moving along with the story. Maybe next chapter you can focus more on Cato and Sasha's interactions here. In terms of writing, I didn't spot any mistakes in grammar or spelling. The parts before this one had some of those, but this was pretty clean as far as I could tell.

I feel like you may be missing a cool opportunity here, or perhaps you haven't gotten to it yet in the detail you should, but wouldn't the feeling of being trapped inside of a dream be scary? I mean, no matter what you do, you can't seem to wake up, even if you kill yourself. Or paralysis inside of a dream? Or falling?! So many things can go wrong in a dream after all, as Cato probably already knows by now. I can definitely see Sasha getting duped by one and being unable to properly believe in either one of them (Cato and the girl, I mean)

I wonder if Sasha will keep Cato as his concubinae  :ninja:

By Heart By Soul - Chapter 1 - Shishi02
Whew, that's quite a lot of concepts presented in one chapter  :hmm:
Character backgrounds, soul color concept, and very quick scene transitions. I couldn't help but feel that so many of these things were explained to me rather than shown to me. If done right, the contents of chapter one could've been two big chapters. There's no time to get settled into the setting before we get into the action  :unsure:

So I have no information about what kind of town Hana is. I know it's a very small town, but is it a small coastal town? A small suburb? A district within a larger area? A countryside town? Is the weather cold, hot, or tropical? It would be nice to have some details, especially about Seishun's apparent bullies and the discrimination involved there. There's cool concepts, but the first chapter doesn't flesh them out, but rather, it plops the skeleton on the reader.

Remember, show, don't tell!

Forever in Our Dreams - Part 6 - Krurisuchristina
The first part of this chapter made me remember how much I hated my friends for their mood swings.
 Like, hot damn, would you like a bra with your twisted panties  >:(

Anyway, it seems like the descriptions got better this time around! They're getting much more cosmic and dreamy,
 it's very pleasing. I knew Sasha would chicken out of suicide if it felt like it was way too real. I think we all know the feeling, if you've ever actually experienced falling in a dream. There were also a few more typos than usual. I'm not one to point those kinds of things out since they're an inevitability when you're writing anything, but you might want to read over that part again and proofread it. Most of the errors are spelling related, not grammar related.

I really liked this one, especially with the rising action at the end! Makes me hope the rest of the story is this gruesome and dreamy as well  :clapping:

The Coming Storm - Parts 7-8 - Op13
Well well well, what do we have here. I wouldn't say it's really a death flag quite yet, but a Pain and Suffering flag for sure. We all know what happens when someone makes promises before leaving somewhere.
 It NEVER works out.

The descriptions of fort life remind me much of real life in forts and other military encampments. The restlessness and exhaustion of it all, to be precise. It's quite disheartening to know that everyone has such low opinions of the young lads serving now, but maybe the people really did see better days with a better quality of troops. Perhaps battle will strengthen Allen and Wallace in that regard, stealing away whatever innocence they have left.

The descriptions were quite nice too! Well, as always, but I did feel the glory of the day passing by Allen's eyes.
 I would've reflected more on Allen's thoughts during the ride to the fort, but that's just me. Or even if he doesn't know what to think and his head is a mess of having to leave home and looking forward to what awaits him at the fort, that might elevate the experience a bit.

Nice word count, too  :clapping: What's our target word count for this day, anyway? In totality, I mean. 20,000?
 I probably couldn't reach that. Anyway, good work!

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