May 26, 2018, 01:13:28 PM

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Messages - MahluaandMilk

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Manga Art Gallery / Re: Mahlua's Lair of Drawings n' Stuff
« on: May 24, 2018, 11:17:39 AM »
You know it. Pronounce me dead if I ever stop trying.

MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2018
« on: May 24, 2018, 11:12:44 AM »
Getting ready to go to a con and whoops I started smoking again due to a certain drama llama coming back to bite me on the ass.

I mentioned in my art gallery that two friends of mine pointed out last night that they feel that my art is getting worse instead of better and considering the other drama I'm going through I may be on the verge of a personal radioactive meltdown but it's fiiine. Just gonna go to the con, have some fun, come back, and work on things some more.

At least art and writing are good work to distract yourself from things that are out of your control.

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Mahlua's Lair of Drawings n' Stuff
« on: May 24, 2018, 11:10:01 AM »
Yeah, I have four fursonas and Fro has been building up a Fighters Division in one of his writing projects for MRverse.

I had a bit of a squabble with my friends last night. For some reason they seem to be under the impression that my art is getting progressively worse instead of better? I did my best to explain that my art never had a solid foundation, so now that I'm exploring fundamentals, it's like working one muscle and not the supporting group; some areas are going to be very weak and prone to mistakes simply because the foundation was never solid. It's not that I'm getting worse, per se, so much as my art is probably going through puberty.

Still, that conversation was a tough one to have (mostly because one of my friends said something along the lines of "You're just mad that I've improved more over the last two years than you"--which, first of all, our styles are too different to make value judgements between and compare, and secondly--what a dick move!)

Can confirm. I've branched out on some social media. It helps to get on the big sites like DeviantArt and, in my case, FurAffinity to get on the ball. Browse around. Comment on other art. Set up a type of upload schedule. Participate in the community.

I hit 250 followers on a social media app called Amino that's super fanbase specific and held a little "free icon raffle" that bumped me to over 270 followers in 24 hours. It's been a little over a week and due to my upload frequency and sharing my link around I have over 100 pageviews on DA.  I don't think it'll be too long now before someone wants something for cheap.

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Mahlua's Lair of Drawings n' Stuff
« on: May 22, 2018, 07:09:29 PM »
I suppose I've always put a lot of thought into it. After all, I have over 100 OCs and even going back through old art I never mix any of them up.

Bruh I have a couple of outfits like that. Considering that he's basically the fursona for my Drag King persona, it makes sense that his clothes are styled slightly after things from my own wardrobe.

Manga Creations / Re: The Lost Ones:A Blazing Beginning
« on: May 21, 2018, 10:53:02 PM »
Well, I'd critique as much as I could, but at it's current state, the text block is hard to read because it's all one giant paragraph. Not only can small paragraph breaks make it easier for eyes to stay in the lines where they need to follow, but it can also help set pace. Trying to read it as is, it kinda feels like what it sounds like when someone keeps talking without stopping and not breathing and it kind of rags on like this sentence.

A couple of visual breaks spaces the story out and gives it room to breathe, visually and textually.

General Manga writer discussions / Re: Writer Discussion Table
« on: May 21, 2018, 10:50:05 PM »
Ah, yeah, and exactly how you go about that is an indicator of style. It's clear form my fight scenes that I am not a big risk-taker in my writing. I go a little too "by the book" sometimes. Listen to that guy.

Welcome Center / Re: Hey all, Im new!
« on: May 21, 2018, 10:48:37 PM »
Welcome aboard. I see that you already posted something of a story, so I'll hop on over and look at that.

Develop Your Story / Re: criticism wanted
« on: May 21, 2018, 07:32:12 PM »
No problem! I look forward to seeing how it turns out.

Develop Your Story / Re: The Will
« on: May 21, 2018, 07:26:52 PM »
Interesting premise, but the execution being in present tense is a bit of a confusing choice to me. Clearly her suicide is a past event that sets up the story. Perhaps it's the reliance on the word "when" that makes it awkward for me. It kind of confuses the chronology of events.

In any case, this looks like a story that could lead to some interesting places. I feel like a very similar premise has been worked with before, but I can't call to my mind just what.

Hmm...I suppose there is one thing that can help flesh this out a little more. If the readers are more familiar with the friends who find the notes in her locker, then it's possible that the increased sympathy will help push the story along. As of right now we don't even know their names. They carry no weight. It will be difficult to establish that momentum after the first chapter if left like this.

Develop Your Story / Re: criticism wanted
« on: May 21, 2018, 07:19:31 PM »
Pardon if this critique sounds a little harsh. I'm mostly going to focus on the big things that can be easily fixed.

The first thing that hits me off the bat is the overuse of commas. This could probably be fixed by working with shorter sentences until you have a better grasp on how longer sentences actually function. I highly recommend looking into grammar books and all sorts of articles on the use of punctuation. They're a handy tool for any beginning author. My biggest tip is this: if the subject of the sentence doesn't change, you DON'T need a comma before a conjunction.

The next biggest issue I see is a bit of a plothole. It's not the exact definition of a plothole, per se, but it is a big something all right. It is stated that the girls' parents had some wolf and vampire in them, but somehow Chinatsu came out half and half. Genetically speaking, this is highly improbable if not impossible. I understand that this is fiction and some suspension of disbelief is required, but when something that glaring comes to light, many readers will turn skeptical. Even if both parents were a quarter of each to add up all the genes possible to make her half and half, Chinatsu would not be seen as such ethnically; she would instead be seen as a quarter of each despite the dominance of the genes. It is also unlikely that someone who carries a quarter of both vampire and wolf blood wouldn't notice. The whole reveal is kind of a non sequitur. Perhaps this area of the story's lore needs a little more focus and fleshing out so readers can follow without immediately jumping to the conclusion "Well that's dumb."

General Manga writer discussions / Re: Writer Discussion Table
« on: May 21, 2018, 06:52:55 PM »
Yeah. Longer sentences just have a natural tendency to slow down time. They're meant to hone focus, so it sounds like if you want the reader to really focus and experience a particular moment, a longer sentence is a way to go.

Manga Creations / Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« on: May 21, 2018, 06:30:29 PM »
Don't feel bad. I once found my stuff for my previous account that's now defunct because the email associated with it crashed. Hhhh middle school me was garbage.

I mean, I'm still garbage, but the point is that I understand the feels.

General Manga writer discussions / Re: Writer Discussion Table
« on: May 21, 2018, 06:19:17 PM »
It's all about sentence structure and length, my friend. I'm someone who can easily write a 30 word sentence without thinking, so I frequently have problems with pacing in a different way than most people. When you want things to happen quickly, you gotta cut all that down. Pacing is all about how much detail you put. Theoretically, the longer the sentence, the more focused the action becomes, the more it slows down kinda. The inverse is also true. Quick flashes of action are best expressed in short sentence bursts. Sometimes one word is all you need.

In my experience, "-ing" verbs are pretty weak. You'll want to cut those out to keep the fight feeling fresh. -ing verbs often function more as a type of adverb anyway and don't ask me about all the complicated hooha behind English; it gets weird fast. Another protip is to cut out "to be" verbs during the fight, and words like "slightly" or "almost".

I know none of that really answers the question per se, but I figured the advice could be helpful nonetheless.

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Mahlua's Lair of Drawings n' Stuff
« on: May 21, 2018, 11:22:49 AM »
That's a pretty sharp observation there. Erik's colors are a little more saturated on the whole, whereas the only saturated color on Bruce is the blue on his nose, eyes, tongue, and pawpads. Because that blue is so saturated, I was cautious with how saturated I made his furs, because I wanted the blue to pop rather than clash. I suppose it does make him look a little dingy, but at least that suits his character, lol.

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