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Messages - Coryn

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 1680
1
Manga Art Gallery / Re: Suuper's manga (+digital and 3D)
« on: August 14, 2018, 08:40:36 PM »
Yeah, there's definitely a nubbiness to the hands that you overcame.

2
I'll take a look for that typo. Thanks!

It's a good write up. There are a few things I see I'll smooth out, but nothing major. Mostly when I make edits to people's write ups, it's just for clarity/maintaining a consistent voice.

The To-do list isn't in any particular order, so no worries about skipping ahead.


On a slightly different note: I've done a topic rebranding because holy crap I didn't need to get so specific about what's happening here.

3
Develop Your Story / Re: My Manga Story!!
« on: August 14, 2018, 01:41:40 PM »
That's the spirit!

4
Well, I'm not sure I want start throwing spreadsheets in there. I think a simple rubric would probably do us. Honestly we don't need THAT much detail. I just want it to be better organized.

5
I have read many a book that reference name brands before, so I don't think you've got any worries there. Same should go for video game titles.

The problem you run into with anime, is that you're crossing over into a visual representation. It's one thing to put in as a word in a book, it's another to splash it across the screen.

Still, I wouldn't worry unless you're really getting ready to publish something. Call of Duty isn't going to worry about someone posting stories on the internet.

6
I encourage you to. Although right now I'm thinking of a better way to standardize the character bios. So maybe you can help be a guinea pig for that too.  :thumbsup:

7
Maybe you can serve as a good test case Suuper. After all, if you're coming in blank, you would be a good reference point for the new layout  :ninja:

8
Manga Art Gallery / Re: Anmonia's gallery
« on: August 13, 2018, 11:03:24 AM »
Good stuff! (Although the coneheads on those first couple figures kinda creep me out   :ohmy: )

I like the colors on that last piece too! (You're really fond of those two aren't yah?)

9
Manga Creations / Re: Coryn's Saga Arc 3
« on: August 12, 2018, 10:20:52 PM »
And so begins another round of chapter releases. Unfortunately I didn't get a whole lot done in the first half of July, but I was really cooking the last couple weeks. The only downside now, is that this is the first time since getting back on the writing wagon that I don't already have the next chapter and a half already finished. But if I keep up a good pace, that shouldn't delay the next round too badly *fingers crossed* On the bright side, got some real chapter length chapters this round. No skimping on CS this time.


THE SPITEFUL HEART

THE SPITEFUL HEART

To begin, there was an expectation of light, but no light came. Then there was the expectation of noise, but the world remained silent. Next came touch and taste, but these too failed to arrive.
   Instead, all that came was pain. A splitting, unforgettable, unforgiving pain.
   It was not the kind of pain that you only felt in a single spot. It could not even be localized to a definable portion of the body. This pain was total. It covered all flesh, cut into it, slicing its way down into the very core of the soul. The agony built and built, until there was nothing to do but writhe in it. Finally, after what felt like years, the pain disappeared, replaced by an unceasing numbness. Both were torturous, but between the two, the numbness was vastly preferred.

   Only now, did the light come, and behind it, the rest of the senses slowly filtered in.
   At first it was just light. No distinct images could be discerned among it. But, as unused nerves awoke, so did the surroundings. There were hospital beds lining a long room, each of them empty, except for one. Windows were drawn open, and cool, but fresh air flowed through them. Machines hummed and beeped silently next to the occupied bed. On one monitor was a pulsing line, each leap the beat of a living heart. The bed’s occupant watched the heart chart its path across the display. Slow and steady. Then, without warning, the realization came. The heart beat was that of the viewer who lay in the bed. That heart beat was theirs. They were alive.
   Naomi Amano, was alive.
   She knew exactly where she was now. It was not a long process of elimination before she reached the correct answer. Despite this truth, she was also awake enough to realize that she was alone in the room. Naomi was neither guarded, nor, as best she could tell, restrained. She moved to push herself up into a sitting position, but her body did not want to obey her commands. Naomi tightened her core, and with great effort, rolled up into a sitting position. Her muscles screamed at her to stop, to lay back down and return to a drug filled sleep. But years of battle had instilled within her the ability to override the urges of the body, and Naomi could not convince herself that this was no battlefield. She grasped the railing of the bed with her right hand to steady herself. Her head did not want to turn, but by pushing against the rail, she pivoted her torso to the left, and could see a door at the end of the long room. Naomi could not tell if there was anyone outside of it, but it was the only way out of the room that didn’t involve jumping out of a window. So, she decided it would be her escape route. Naomi engaged her legs. At first there was no response, but gradually the feeling came back into them. She slid the railing back with great effot, and gingerly slipped her legs out from beneath the bedsheets. Their weight helped pull herself upright as they dangled off the side of the mattress. Naomi paused for a moment, breathed deeply, and stepped up.
   At least, that was the plan.
   The moment Naomi put an ounce of weight down on her feet, both legs buckled. She swung up her left arm to keep herself from bashing her face on the tiled floor, but it must have still been sluggish, because her head hit    the ground cleanly. Worse still, the rapid descent ripped from her body the needles which had connected Naomi to an untold number of tubes. They tore her flesh as they came free, and blood welled up from the fresh wounds. Naomi cried out in pain. To muffle the sound, she buried her face into her hospital gown, which had bunched up around her chin during the fall. As the involuntary howl subsided, Naomi listened. All was quiet for a moment, but sure enough, she soon heard footsteps outside the door. The poor girl directed her gaze through the feet of the hospital beds. She watched the doors swing open, and there appeared a set of legs. Naomi thought to hide, but there was no place to go. Whoever was coming down the aisle would know who she was, which bed was hers, and likely, the state that she found herself in. For the time being, they had nothing to fear from her. So, Naomi continued to lay on the cold tile floor, and waited to be discovered.
    The pace of the newcomer slowed as they approached her location. Naomi heard a loud crunch as they were about to round the bed next to hers. She turned her head to meet the stranger, and no sooner then she had, did Coryn Sken appear from around the adjacent bed, a freshly bitten into apple in his hand. He halted his advance, and for a moment the two simply locked eyes. Coryn finally broke the deadlock with another bite of his apple. And with his mouth still full, he spoke to her. “The doctors were right. You really do look like you’ve been beat six ways from Sunday.” Naomi was immediately enraged, and she swiped at him with her left arm, as her right was trapped beneath her. The man seemed to be in range, but she didn’t feel the strike connect with anything. Naomi figured that the arm was still waking up, but she could not get a good view of it. It was then that she came to the realization that a bandage was covering the left side of her head. She hadn’t noticed it in her confusion, but the sensation of the wrapping pressing against her skin was now present to her mind. Above her, Coryn shook his head. His face was half pity, and half amusement. He didn’t strike Naomi as the kind of person who would laugh at a helpless prisoner, but even she had to admit that she likely looked ridiculous. Coryn knelt down, and grabbed her under her right elbow. Naomi found herself lifted back into her bed like she was a child, and did her best to relax herself as Coryn began reattaching the various tubes and sensors. As the fog in her mind continued to clear, it had quickly revealed that escape was an impossibility.
   Coryn spoke as he finished his work. “I’m surprised to see you so lively. Most people aren’t up to doing much after spending three weeks in a coma.” So, it had been some time after all. Although Naomi was surprised to have woken up at all. She watched Coryn as he stepped back. He was without his coat or weapons, and his clothes were fresh looking. His own wounds had healed, whereas Naomi was stuck hospitalized, still feeling like she should be dead three times over. On that subject, Naomi said her first words to him. “Why am I alive?”
   The question turned into a pregnant silence. Coryn seemed to contemplate it as he reclined on the adjacent bed. He took another bite of his apple before replying. “I admit, I didn’t think you were alive at first either. You looked like a hunk of burnt meat when we found you. I’ll show you the pictures later. But, you’re too stubborn to die outright. You were taking your time with it, and the meantime, we intervened.” He let this sink in for a few moments before continuing. “And if I do say so myself, we did a half decent job of keeping your heart beating for the trip back. The doctors here took you the rest of the way.” He bit into his apple for a third time, and left Naomi to her thoughts.
   She did not like his answer. It was not complete. “That’s just how. It’s not why.”
   Coryn’s face was unreadable. “Because we decided to. That’s why.”
   Naomi hated that devil-may-care attitude he was exuding. She didn’t like her life being decided upon by the whims of immortals. Shiro had given her that existence for years. “Show me.”
   Coryn raised a brow. “Show you what?”
   Naomi forced her neck to turn to face him. “Show me how bad I was.”
   The blonde seemed on the verge of denying the request, but he conceded the point without a word, shrugged, and moved to the screens. After a moment at the holographic interface, images began to form around the bed. Naomi knew that it had to have been herself, but there were no outward indications that it was. All she could see what exactly Coryn had described.
   Burnt.
   Meat.
   It was a form vaguely recognizable as human, but aside from that, it only looked like black char, with bright pink occasionally seen in the depths of deep cracks. The pictures must have been captured by the doctors as they were preparing her, and they appeared in most of the shots, often blocking off the camera. Finally, Naomi came to an image that looked down on her directly. It reminded Naomi of an autopsy photo, but that was not the detail which caught her eye. Undeniably, it something which had not been clear in the previous pictures.
   Gingerly, Naomi wrapped her right arm over her chest, and placed her hand down on her left shoulder. Even though it was staring at her in the face, it took this moment for the truth to solidify. Naomi grasped the stump where her left arm should have been, and squeezed it so tightly that blood appeared from beneath the bandages. As the pain sharpened, she released her shoulder. Her curiosity aroused, she slowly dragged her hand up the left side of her body, following the bandage. Naomi felt below the surface of the cotton. Her skin was rough and painful to the touch. Where once an ear had been, she could only detect a ruined lump of cartilage. Her hair was clearly gone beneath the bandage, although she could feel short strands once she got closer to the top of her scalp. By Coryn’s description, it was likely the result of a few weeks of growth. Finally, drew her hand back down her face, and brought her fingers over her left eye. When they arrived, she found nothing. Naomi traced the rim of the hollow pit with her fingertips. At last, her strength for the venture gave out, and Naomi let her arm flop down beside her. Coryn closed out of the images, and Naomi’s view cleared. They sat in silence for several minutes, before Naomi found the power to speak. “How?”
   Her voice was craggy, and Coryn could hear suppressed tears in her voice. “You didn’t really get to meet her, but there was a woman we brought to fight Shiro with us. Claire, is her name. She got messed up bad. We brought in some medical equipment from the Alliance to help fix her. It’s not able to bring you out of a coma, but it does wonders for patching up wounded flesh.” He stood up from the bed. “You’ve spent most of the last month floating in a tube of chemicals as it put you back together, stitch by stitch.” Coryn reacquired his apple for another bite. “So then, what do you plan to do?”
   Roughly a thousand thoughts flew through Naomi’s mind, but thanks to whatever drugs were being pumped into her, she couldn’t concentrate on any of them. Half of her was still trying to understand how the ruined human which she had seen could have ever been her. The other half was still demanding that she escape in some way, preferably with a middle step in which she killed everyone around her. Ultimately, she could only decide that she needed to fall back asleep. Naomi’s muscles began to relax without her input, and it did not take long before Coryn picked up on what was about to happen. Intentional or otherwise. As he began to leave, Coryn was stopped by Naomi’s voice. It had grown tired and small, but was still audible. “Just…one last thing.” Her eye met his. “I feel…like I’m missing something…”
   Naomi had been feeling a sense of loss since regaining consciousness, although she could not place her finger on it. It was something that went beyond the loss of her comrades. She felt like a part of her soul was now absent. Coryn drew his mouth into a thin line as he processed the statement. Yet again, he seemed to vacillate on giving her an answer. When he decided on the affirmative however, Naomi wished she had held her tongue. Coryn reached around to his back pocket, and produced the ruined hilt of her katana. “I’ve been holding on to it. When we got back I asked about it, and they told me that your abilities are directly linked to the sword. And with it destroyed, well…” He gingerly set the hilt into the bed with Naomi. “There’s no one who can fix it.” Coryn walked away, only turning back before crossing the threshold into the hallway. “Your powers are gone, Naomi. Your fight’s over.”
   The doors slid shut behind him, and Naomi lay in silence. Tears streamed down from her good eye, wetting the sheets. She expected herself to be angry, spiteful. But as she fell into a restless sleep, all she felt was broken, and defeated.

   The room was now very cold. Naomi was vaguely aware that she had been slipping in and out of consciousness for some time. Occasionally it would be light outside, occasionally it was night. From the orange light coming through the windows, it was now either early morning, or evening. Naomi reached up, and took a rough measurement of time based on her own progress. The bandages on her head had been removed, revealing dark, rough scar tissue. A medical eyepatch graced her empty socket, and she estimated that her hair had regrown to be roughly a half inch. All of it together brought Naomi to believe it had been around two weeks since she had awoken the first time.
   She hadn’t been sure what had happened, but it seemed she wasn’t fully recovered from her coma. Naomi didn’t have an experience in that field, but she was definitely sleeping for multiple days at a time. Her body was telling her all she needed to know, on that front. For the first several minutes, she felt as stiff as a stone. Upon her initial revival, adrenaline had filled her veins enough for her to move, but now that at least part of her mind had processed her predicament, no such help existed. Slowly but surely, she forced her digits, and then limbs to awaken. They felt better this time around, and Naomi guessed that her doses of sedatives and pain killers had been reduced. A relative lack of equipment around her, and tubes in her, confirmed this. What surprised her, was that she still lacked bindings. Even with Naomi’s powers stripped away, they should have restrained her. She, would have restrained herself, if the situation was reversed. Perhaps they were more kindhearted than she gave them credit for, or far more likely, they had already accepted her powerlessness. That was something Naomi herself was still grappling with.
   Her neck was once again under her control. Naomi tilted her head to the side, and discovered what was chilling the room. She knew his name was Jack Frost. She knew that he commanded an innate ability to form and manipulate ice. But aside from the scant information she had discovered in battling him, she knew almost nothing about him. Shiro had been tightlipped when it came to any of his old friends. Even though it had become part of his reason for being to kill them, he had not chosen to share details. Naomi knew better now, but when Shiro first instructed the four girls to help him attack Coryn and steal his energy, they basically went in blind. That initial victory was a fluke, in the end. But that first time had led her to overestimate her chances. And now, it had cost her. Looking at the man before her though, she was once again beginning to reconsider her opinion of him.
   Jack sat in a back turned chair, facing Naomi’s bed in the same spot Coryn had stood when she last was awake. But his form was limp, one arm dangled in the air, and the other formed a makeshift cushion between his head and the chair’s back. He was completely asleep, snoring gently as if had accidently fallen asleep while reading a book. And with every breath he took, freezing air rolled out from his mouth and on to the floor. It was beginning to have a pronounced effect on the climate of the room, and Naomi pulled up the thin hospital blanket as far as she could. She couldn’t conceive how someone could peacefully sleep in a room so frigid with only a thin t-shirt and trousers. Naomi was convinced that it was the cold which had roused her, so she went about waking the sleeping immortal. “Hey! Wake up!” Her voice was hoarse, and unused. She tried again, this time with better results. “Wake up! You’re going to kill me with this cold!”
   This finally seemed to penetrate Jack’s sleeping mind, and he began to stir. The temperature of the room began to improve almost instantly as that which was producing the chill disappeared. It was almost as if Jack was unconsciously sucking the cold back into himself. Perhaps it was simply a part of his biology, or maybe he was conscientious of his sleeping habits. In either case, Naomi was thankful for the reprieve. She spoke to him once again as he rubbed the sand from his eyes. “Do you always freeze people in your sleep.”
   “Only when I’m not in my own room.” Said Jack with a wink. Or perhaps it was simply a spasm as he cleared out the last of the sand. Naomi couldn’t tell for sure. He continued. “I guess you’re awake again huh? Your vitals were up, and it was my turn again to take watch duty, just in case you came around. Guess I’m lucky?”
   Naomi returned her head to a neutral position facing the ceiling. “Maybe so…”
   The pair sat in silence for a while. Naomi occasionally heard Jack’s mouth open as if he meant to say something, but it took several minutes before he committed. “If you’re feeling up for it, would you like to go on a walk? The doctors here said you weren’t likely to relapse into the coma if you fully woke up again. So, maybe leaving you in bed isn’t the best idea.”
   Naomi hated the mundane way he said it, but replied. “My legs don’t work right now. I’m not strong enough to move them.”
   “Oh!” Said Jack, as slight look of embarrassment appeared on his face. “I mean, you’ll need a wheelchair, obviously, but I can push it for you. On account of the…well y’know.”
   She did, and she disliked him dancing around it. “On account of only have one arm. Yes, I do know.” Naomi turned back towards him. “I thought you immortals could heal people with enix. Isn’t that how you stay alive in the first place?”
   Jack was not expecting to be confronted by such a question, but he took a moment to form his answer, and replied. “Well, sure, kinda. I mean, healing yourself is easy. You just sorta…make your body the way it was before you got hurt? Like, you make it remember how to be whole, and then it fills in the rest? I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.” Jack knitted his brow in thought for another moment before continuing. “So, fixing your own body is simple, but it’s a lot harder for to fix other people. We can heal moderate wounds, assuming all the original…bits, are still around. But it’s not the same as creating parts of another person from scratch? And you…well…that was beyond our expertise.” He took another moment, as if he had lost the thread of what he was saying. “Coryn said he told you about the tank, right? It’s got all these capsules full of raw materials, and it can read your DNA and then sorta, clones the parts it needs? I don’t really get it, but hey, results are results.”
   Naomi leaned in towards him, her face full of malice. “Then why don’t I have an arm? Where is my missing eye? And why is my left side still covered in scars?”
   Jack looked guilty, but he pressed on anyway. “To be honest with you, we decided that we’d prefer you went without.”
   Even guilty as he otherwise looked, Jack’s eyes were set. The white-haired man may have played a good fool, but there was obviously something beneath that jester’s crown. Naomi stared him down for a little while longer, before relenting, and relaxing back into the mattress. “That’s the first sense you’ve made all day.”
   Jack, for his part, felt a tinge of relief at this sentiment, and sprung up from his chair. “Let me go find that wheelchair. It’ll do you some good to get some fresh air. You’ll see.”

   Ten minutes later, Naomi was loaded up into the wheelchair with her various accoutrements, and with Jack as her helmsman, she exited the hospital wing for the first time in over a month.
   Jack greeted and smiled at nearly everyone they passed. Naomi noted how he ignored the looks the castle staff gave her while they were being addressed. She didn’t begrudge them for it, but it brought into stark realization how alien her landscape was. Most were looks of apprehension, but some were of clear disdain. It seemed that the general population had not been consulted when it was decided to bring her in. Naomi pondered how much sway the four immortals actually had with these people. She knew some of their history with them, but the details had eluded her. In any case, they seemed to trust them enough to let the Five do it. That, or they were fearful of what would happen if they denied their whims, but Naomi let that idea pass from her mind. Power and intimidation were how her own version of the Tomoshibi were run. She doubted that the same was true for this one.
   Naomi kept expecting to see a face she knew. Not among the workers, but one of the three girls which stood in for those she had grown up with. Even after losing hope in each of them, Naomi was not ready to confront her loss. Although the priestesses of this universe felt like cheap imitations to her, an imitation may be all it took in that moment to tear her the rest of the way down. Naomi relented to her own inner torment, and kept her eyes affixed firmly on the ground in front of her.
   The rest of trip through the castle passed uneventfully, until Naomi found herself being wheeled into the open air. She recognized it as the courtyard behind the castle, and despite herself, lost a breath as she marveled at the well-kept state of it. Images of childhood drifted back to her as the smells of fragrant flowers hit her nose. In her past, the rear courtyard had been a small refuge of peace when she was very young, and had not yet grasped the trajectory of her life. She had quickly been broken of that longing, and Naomi did not regret losing it. Still, this was a potent reminder of things she had thought long forgotten. Anger welled in the pit of her stomach, but she had to let it go as the chair came to a sudden halt.
   Jack had parked her near a small fountain, and under the shade of a tree. Naomi hadn’t noticed her at first, but an older woman stood before the pair. Her hair was already white, but she was yet to completely lose all the youthfulness in her face. Jack gave her a quick wave, and the chair shuddered as Jack kicked down its brakes. “Mornin’ Chiyoko! What brings you out so early?”
   Chiyoko smiled back at Jack, but betrayed nothing. “Please Jack, I’ve been up since four. It is you I am so surprised to see out and about.”
   Jack laughed a little at himself. “Well you got me there. But I was on watch duty this morning, and she’s feeling so good I decided to take her out for a spin.”
   “That’s a very relative term…” Thought Naomi. She still hurt, immensely, but it was no longer unbearable. Each bump in the chair had sent ripples of pain through her fried nerves. Even if their machine could fix her on the surface level, it left much to be desired in long term healing. She felt no urge to let them know her discomfort however, and only acknowledged Chiyoko with a grim stare. The older woman’s expression refused to yield however. It denied Naomi any sense of victory. Chiyoko turned to Jack without losing an ounce of composure.
   “Jack, have you had breakfast yet? I’m sure young Amano would not mind if you left her be for a little while.”
   Jack was slightly taken aback by the proposal, on the one hand, he knew he was supposed to be keeping an eye on Naomi. On the other, he knew she couldn’t walk, much less try to escape or hurt someone. He stepped back from the chair, waved himself off with a word of parting, and disappeared back into the castle. Naomi found herself utterly alone with Chiyoko, and as soon as it was clear that Jack was gone, the old woman’s veneer dropped like a stone. Gone was the warm smile, replaced with a stern look which, had Naomi not experienced it from her own trainers, caused her to shrink back into the thin leather of the chair. Instead, Naomi leaned in, and asked what had been on her mind since first laying eyes on Chiyoko. “What do you want from me?”
   Chiyoko studied her quietly, the whole time she showed nothing of what she was thinking. Finally, she spoke. “My name, is Kamisaka Chiyoko. Do you know who I am?”
   Naomi at first considered lying, but decided it would not advance her purposes to do so. There was nothing she had worth hiding from this woman anyway. “No. I’ve seen your name recorded as one of the former head priestesses, but no, I have never actually met you.”
   “Dead?” Chiyoko said matter-of-factly.
   “Head priestesses didn’t last long in my reality.” Replied Naomi.
   “Serves her right.” Was Chiyoko’s only response.
   It was then that Naomi knew that this was not a woman to be trifled with. The Tomoshibi of her world were built on the bones of the strong. If Chiyoko had been powerful enough to claim that title in Naomi’s world, she would have no trouble doing the same in this one, if it had come to that.
   “Just so you are aware.” Said Chiyoko. “I do not begrudge you for doing what you’ve done. It is my understanding that with the way your life has played out, there really was no alternative. However, now that you are under my protection, I want you to be aware.” The older woman bent down, and spoke directly into Naomi’s face. She dropped her voice down so that it was barely more than a whisper. “If you betray our trust, or endanger anyone in my charge, I will not hesitate to dispatch you myself.”
   Naomi believed her. She would have told Chiyoko this, but the head priestess was already heading back inside. When the doors shut behind her, Naomi was alone. And for the first time in a long time, she truly felt that way.

   The next thing Naomi knew, she was being jostled over the bottom of the door frame which led back inside the castle. She sprung back to reality with a start. It felt like she had been asleep for days, but as she took in her surroundings, she realized it couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes. Naomi hadn’t even noticed dozing off, but she figured such a thing wasn’t unnatural for someone in her position to do. Jack was once again steering her through the halls, and she could hear him gently humming to himself.
   For the rest of the trip back to the hospital wing, Naomi remained silent. Her thoughts were still jumbled, but slowly, they were beginning to form something whole. She didn’t know what that whole would be yet. No matter how she approached her situation, it always felt like pieces of the puzzle were missing. There was no hope of going back to her previous life. It felt the same, she thought, as when Shiro had first conscripted her. But this time there was no Shiro to tell her how to behave, to make her a slave. This time her future rested entirely in her own hands, and that scared her more than anything.
   An angry pit grew in Naomi’s stomach as they approached the door to her room. Having had a small taste of life outside of it, Naomi found herself wanting to delay her return as much as possible. So, as Jack was about to push her through, Naomi stopped him. “Jack.” She hesitated. “I…can you show me to the other woman you were treating here?”
   Jack seemed mildly amused by the suggestion. Naomi couldn’t tell if he thought it was a joke or not. But no matter what he thought, he gave a shrug, and answered her with an affable ‘Sure.’

   The room that Jack brought Naomi to was only a few hallways down. It was a private suite, unlike the communal recovery room Naomi found herself in. Once fully inside, Naomi took in the visage of the woman she knew only as ‘Claire’. She had a vague recollection of the woman, based on what Coryn had told her, but nothing more than that. Seeing her now though, Naomi found it to be situation of high strangeness. Naomi had only ever seen these immortals as being nearly indestructible, and yet one lay in a coma before her. The room’s relative lack of medical equipment spoke to Claire’s constitution, but even that did not compensate for the conflict of expectation versus reality.
   As Naomi studied Claire further, noting the loosely tied hair, tightly trimmed nails, lack of make-up, it was hard to imagine that it was the same highly done-up fighter from a year ago. Naomi didn’t suspect she was being lied to, yet she pressed further. “Why hasn’t she woken up yet? Was the damage that bad?”
   Jack had stepped up beside the chair, and gently massaged his shoulder. “It’s hard to say, isn’t it? That machine can physically put you back together, but it can’t fix what you’ve got going on in your mind. If you ask me, I’d say Claire’s wrestling with herself, based on what I’ve learned about her.” He shook his head. “I guess she had some beef with Shiro from when he first went bad. She let it get to her, and it nearly got her killed.” He gave her a half smile. “But Coryn would be the expert on that. The rest of us only just met her during that debacle with Shiro. We didn’t really get the chance to bond.”
   Naomi looked incredulous. “Coryn just brought her in at the eleventh hour?”
   “It was an eleventh hour kinda day.” Shrugged Jack. “She’ll get better eventually, but until then, we gotta let her rest. C’mon. Time to head back.”
   This time, Naomi did not fight her urges to stay out of the recovery room. She could already feel herself drifting back to sleep. But there was at least one thing galvanized in her mind now: Even immortals could be ruined by their emotions. If she didn’t get away from the Five soon, she might just get dragged down along with them.

10
Triple post, but whatever.

Guide Mega-Update Progress Report:

'Loremaster's 'To-Do' List document added. Document to keep track of all needed work going forward.

'Prime Universe Characters' document reorganized per new standards. New features include:
  • Updated format
  • Added art references for all NPC's
  • Updated Moderator roles
  • Revised Pub-tan on characters list
  • Added Artist-tan to characters list
  • Added Mahlua to characters list
  • Added Sherbet to characters list
  • Alphabetized all characters within their sections
  • Updated and added to Notes section


Next document in the reorganization crosshairs: Groups & Organizations. Once again, thanks to Fro and all of our members for their hard work.

End report.

11
Manga Art Gallery / Re: Echo Archives
« on: August 12, 2018, 08:29:30 PM »
That's a thought to keep in mind :-X

12
I tells yah, I'm gonna need more bourbon to get through fixing up this entire guide. Past me really shot current me in the foot by not keeping a list of everything people were putting up and sending me.

FROM NOW ON, I'M MAKING A WORKING DOCUMENT FOR THIS KIND OF THING!

13
Develop Your Story / Re: My Manga Story!!
« on: August 12, 2018, 12:39:54 PM »
Vikings, if I may offer my words of advice, Lego has been the only one reading my story for years now, but I've still managed to grow well beyond where I was thanks to him. If you've got only one faithful follower, than it's better than having ten people read just the first couple of chapters.

14
Develop Your Story / Re: i need tips to improve my story
« on: August 11, 2018, 10:59:36 PM »
Well the problem with quick little summaries like this, is that they don't really tell you much behind the base concept. And at their core, all concepts have the ability to be good if written well. So you see how it gets difficult to judge. That being said, it does sound like a good staring point. I like how the person's body changes. So maybe you can work on how that would be a drawback?

Do you have any specific questions you're looking to get answers to?

15
Welcome Center / Re: Hi from France!!
« on: August 11, 2018, 12:31:22 PM »
Welcome to mangaraiders!

We get plenty of non native speakers. Probably more of them than native speakers to be truthful, so no worries! In fact the forum was co-founded by a French woman, so you're not in a strange land!

Just let us know if there's anything you need!

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