December 14, 2018, 12:32:18 AM

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Messages - Coryn

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Develop Your Story / Re: Jumbled Idea Journal and Random Scribbles
« on: December 11, 2018, 10:52:44 AM »
Alright let's continue.

3. Related to point 2, every character should have a distinct way of speaking, just like all of us do in real life. After all, we're all individuals with past histories and experiences. Things will change. Now, this is definitely not an easy thing to achieve. I have definitely struggled with it myself. But there are some ways to combat it.

First up, you need to have a well defined image of eagc character in your head. Right now Asher and Magnolia are basically cookie cutter fantasy characters. They've got nothing to set them apart. You need to work in the little unique quirks that add to their humanness. The more you shape them, the more it will be apparent to you as their creator how they will sound. It's a long process, but it will be worth the effort.

The second thing is something of a game you can play. Take all of the lines of dialogue each character has, arrange them at random, and then see if you can pick out who says what. If you can do it, congratulations you're at least at a 2 out of 10. You wrote it after all. Now get someone else who has read the story to do it. If they can, it's a 5/10. If you can get someone who hasn't read the story to do it, then you're 8/10 territory. I don't say 10/10, because while having distinct dialogue is going to mean you've made it a lot of the way to having really good dialogue (You'll be learning along the way, after all), there's still the question of how well it's written from a general standpoint.

4. Understand your world inside and out. The more you know your world, and your characters' place in it, the more you will understand how that world informs their character. It is always interconnected. And that's true for all of this advice. Character development has as much to do with writing good dialogue as having a good grasp on the language itself. You should always look for the lines that connect them.

I hope that helps you out. Good luck!

Develop Your Story / Re: Jumbled Idea Journal and Random Scribbles
« on: December 10, 2018, 03:04:38 PM »
Well, you asked me to take a look at the dialogue, and I'm pretty sure I can offee some advice.

1. There is an awful lot of your characters just announcing what they feel/what is happening. This is the first thing on the list of dialogue don'ts. Nobody has ever proclaimed "I've been walking for days and I'M LOST!". The character already knows it, and obviously there's no one around to tell. Maybe if Magnolia had asked the question, he would have said it, but she certainly wasn't in scene yet. Have the character do something to express his being lost. Maybe he offers up a prayer to the gods asking for help. Oraybe he's angry and starts yelling at the map itssld. Just something that is coupled with an action.

2. Asher speaks in a very proper way. If he's supposed to be a country bumpkin, make him sound like a country bumpkin. Give him slang, contractions, poor grammar. It can be excused potentially by Magnolia, if she's from the fancy capital, but there should be an immediate difference between their speech patterns.

I have more thoughts, but duty calls. Those are the top two points though. I'll be back around later to add more.

break Room / Re: Xmas Raider MR
« on: December 09, 2018, 08:57:24 PM »
Let's see.

- Long, red santa hat. Big fuzzy ball, nice and long.
- Long, red santa coat. Like, down to the knees. Open in the front.
- Black gloves. Mittens really. Just a thumb, and one big pocket for the other four fingers.
- Black pants, warm with fur at the bottoms. Full length.
- Mandatory pointy shoes, apparently. But i'll opt for boots. Pants tucked in to them.

Comics and other Gallery / Re: Miscellaneous Arts and Sketchbook
« on: December 09, 2018, 08:25:55 PM »
generally with concrete, you have a metal frame that the concrete is poured over.

Also, always bottom to top. General rule for all buidling

Definitely my point. Smart people only tend to be truly knowledgeable in specific fields. You will certainly have your share of polymaths who are interested in multiple subjects (heyoh), but they will only be truly versed in one or two. That's just from human time constraints and what not. Like, I sure would like to go back to college and get a bunch of different degrees. That sounds great, but I have neither the time nor cash to do so.

As far as fact checking goes, it can be amazing how much you just miss on a subject because you don't realize it needs to be included in the first place. It's less a matter of getting things wrong, and more just missing things entirely because you don't know they exist. Research helps of course, but you rarely need to go so in depth. Most of the time, you just need to get what you need specifically, and then you can move on.

That being said, maybe it would be cool if we had a topic where people could list what they are specifically qualified to be experts on, that we could all use as a reference. For instance, I might be able to list

1. Small town life
2. Kansas
3. State college
4. Buildings

etc, etc, etc. A reference for life experience and knowledge that could be tapped from willing participants.

Comics and other Gallery / Re: Miscellaneous Arts and Sketchbook
« on: December 09, 2018, 06:44:07 PM »
So, a thing to remember when drawing structures that are 'under construction', that people might not think about, is that when we're talking about early stages (beams and what not), these buildings are put up one floor at a time.

That is, you won't see like, a phone connection diagram that resembles a set of stairs. It's going to be flat up to  a certain level, and then the construction will be happening. After all, you have to finish one level to start another.

Also, if it's a particularly tall building you're going for, there will be a big crane in the middle of the building. Shorter buildings will have ground based cranes, but the real big ones have cranes that raise as the building does. What's really important to remember though, is that if you're adding steel to a building, you're going to have a crane. You can't just get a bunch of workers to haul that stuff up on their shoulders.

Yes, Paipis has brought up an excellent point there. Research is always key. If you really want to sell a character that has a knowledge base about a real life subject, you need to get out there, and at least read some wikipedia articles on it. If it's all pseudo science bull*censored* of course, then you just need to be a good bull*censored*ter.

Research of course is the gateway to being a believable writer anyway, but especially in this situation

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Legomaestro's Art Box
« on: December 09, 2018, 12:06:49 PM »
Cool animation Lego! I don't know where you're going to take it, but good luck! (Protip, get liberal with the size of the shield orbs. Variety is the spice of shield orbs life)

I swear, we used to have a topic with exactly this same title, but I just searched a 28 pages of this board with no luck, so maybe I've just lost it.

Anyway, the first step is to assume you can't write a character that's smarter than you. I know that sounds silly but I'm sure that's were 90 percent of the hang up is. Just imagine smart characters being portrayed in movies. What's his face definitely isn't as smart as Stephen Hawking, but he sure did play the role.

Next is to stop thinking that a smart person is going to have a smart person personality. That doesn't exist. People who are smart can have any kind of personality imaginable. Always start with a personality, then work your way backwards. If a smart character has a *censored* personality, then you might as well replace them with a search bar because all they're going to become is a mouth that spits out information.

Next, realize that a smart person doesn't have to act smart all the time. A lot of smart people act just like you and I during any given moment. The smart aspect only kicks in when something related to what they're smart in is happening.

Finally, stop using the word "smart" entirely. Erase it from your vocabulary. It's a worthless, reductive word that comes far short of actually describing what humans perceive as being intelligent.

Let me explain.

There's really no difference in intelligence between you, me, and the other 7.6 billion people on the planet (excepting obvious special cases). Some people know more about certain subjects than others, sure, but that is not a measurement of how "intelligent" someone is. That's just a tally of ignorance. There's a lot of stuff that I know that you don't know. There's a lot of stuff that you know that I don't know. It doesn't mean one of us is "smarter" than the other. It just means we have had different experiences than the other.

"But Coryn!" You may be thinking. "I always had a hard time learning in school, while the kids are next to me always got straight A's! Obviously they were smart right?" Well you would be wrong! Again, we all share the same capacity to learn (a good a definition for intelligence as I've ever seen). The difference between you and the honor student next to you isn't that your capacity to learn differed, but that they were suited to learning in the single environment public school sets up for us to learn in, and you weren't. That doesn't mean you're less intelligent. It just means that sitting in a desk and repeating whatever the teacher told you back to them is not the optimal way for you to learn.

The easiest way to understand this, is through what we've all heard before. "Some people learn by hearing, some people learn by doing." Personally, you can demonstrate something to me a 1000 times, but until I get in there and do it myself, it's never going to sink in.

So okay, I know none of that really answered the question you were asking directly, but it's all necessary to understand in order to write a 'human', which is ultimately what we're all going for here.

Manga Drawing Workshop / Re: Character Vs. Food
« on: December 09, 2018, 10:10:44 AM »
Well, they tend to be overpowering to my pallet raw. It's not that it's a bad flavor, just that it tends to keep me from tasting other things.

Cooked onions are translucent gold though. Make no mistake there.

General Manga writer discussions / Re: Weird Writing Habits?
« on: December 07, 2018, 05:34:04 PM »
Well, persistent and surgical capitalizing does certainly lend itself to adding import to whatever you apply it to. There's something to be said for that. It's like how Pratchett always capitalized Death's lines. It made you stand up and notice.

Honestly that's the danger of doodling characters. When they're all just in your head, it's a lot harder to look at them and start thinking up different things for them to do.

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Legomaestro's Art Box
« on: December 06, 2018, 10:24:31 PM »
With an umbrella for a head, I think a bath might be your only option anyway.

break Room / Re: Discord
« on: December 06, 2018, 10:21:34 PM »
Dude the last time I remember people talking about a happy hour discord was years before I even had a discord. I think there was some carts before horses in this scenario.

Manga Drawing Workshop / Re: Character Vs. Food
« on: December 06, 2018, 10:19:41 PM »
@Lego: Pardon? Have I made special reference to garlic and/or onions in the past?

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