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Messages - Coryn

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MR Pub / Re: Comeback/holidays/departure notice.
« on: August 09, 2019, 12:40:27 AM »
Greetings y'all! This is my official announcement that I'm going to be on vacation starting tomorrow! What that means in practice is that I am going to be pretty much unavailable for the next week (until the 17th). You might see me pop on here or there, but if you need any moderating done, please send me a PM with your request. If it's something that needs immediate/drastic attention, your best bet will be to PM Hasith, who should be able to get a fix in within a few hours per usual. But if it's something that can sit around and won't hurt anybody, just shoot me a PM and I'll get to it when I get to it.

So be good y'all! I look forward to seeing everyone when we get back!

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Echo Archives
« on: August 09, 2019, 12:33:26 AM »
Good advice, honestly, a similar mantra got me through college: "Do it now and you won't stress about it later." Getting things done is always easier on the soul than worrying about them.

Members Manga / Re: Read Before post your Manga
« on: August 09, 2019, 12:23:10 AM »
If it just goes to the image, that's fine, but it should only be a temporary measure while you look for a way to host your images that work for everyone. I suggest uploading to a site like imgur.

Welcome Center / Re: Hey there! Trying to start a Comic book label!
« on: August 09, 2019, 12:21:22 AM »
Hey welcome to MR! I'm going to be straight with you, we are primarily a forum for learning here. You seem to have done a good job with reading our rules, but know that if you just go around pushing your own website, you won't receive the warmest welcome from people.

That being said, we welcome all types. Just try and keep helping out other members at the forefront of your mind, and recruiting for labels second.

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Echo Archives
« on: August 06, 2019, 04:37:17 PM »
Sheesh, good luck! If it's any consolation, I've found more often than not that the practice exam is longer than the actual one. At least they tend to be when the professor is trying to round you out.

MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2019
« on: August 04, 2019, 05:03:36 PM »
If you have a second place you and only you have access to (I have my desk at work, for an example), it is never a bad idea to keep a second physical back-up there with your documents (Again, nothing like, truly important). That way even if your house/dorm/apartment burns to the ground and your google drive gets corrupted on the same day, you'll still have something to show for it all.

Manga Creations / Re: Story Summary Testing No.1
« on: August 04, 2019, 05:00:56 PM »
Well with all due respect Krislalev, I've got a whole two sentences to work with here. It doesn't take long to process through pretty much every angle there is to approach it from.

It's a summary. It works in that it is a summary, and gives me the basic understanding of what you're laying down here. I can judge it purely by that criteria, but really we're here to help with the actual content of the story. Happy to help with the summary bit, but that's more of a technical exercise than anything else.

I will say there's no real hook. There's nothing there that's grabbing me and making me go 'Wow! That sure is an interesting and unique idea that sets it aside from a bunch of other stories I've seen before!'. Where's the gimmick? Magical monk, divided lands, based on the elements. That's the three talking points you've put in your summary. End of the day, that's all it's giving us. The war, the magic barriers, that's all just set dressing. Where's the twist on the formula? The spin?! The pizzazz?! Where's the ol' razzle dazzle?! What are you giving us that we haven't seen before? What is the innovation you're presenting?

You need a third sentence, and that sentence needs to tell everyone who reads it why they should check out your story instead of just watching ATLA on netflix for the 5th time.

Vacant had definitely laid out some good points. Actually sitting down and doing the writing is the single most important part of the story creation process. You gotta do it, or you're not actually a writer.

I'm glad to see you doing this, but I'll throw in a few more cents in regards to plotting out the actual dungeon.

As we've covered before, we can sit here and talk all day about interesting ideas of things that they could experience in the dungeon/tournament. But those things will always need some order, so here's my advice on that.

If you've learned literally one thing about story telling in your life, it's probably the plot curve. Y'know, this guy:

We set everything up with some exposition, then we have our point of no return (in which the protagonist accepts their quest and can no longer go back to the normal life they had before). Then we have a long sloping rising action, and then a climax. That's your moment of highest passion. The most intense and real the story is ever going to be. Afterwards we have falling action and resolution, which is basically the deescalation of the final conflict to until you set the protagonist back on neutral ground. The story is over, and the credits roll.

That is the case for the story as a whole, but each of your arcs should follow this exact same pattern. Every part of your story should be a fractal of the whole. In other words: Each building block of the final narrative resembles the complete story in microcosm.

So think of the arc in these terms. Things have to start out normal, and then the point of no return comes (the protagonists realize they must enter the tournament). Then you have to build and build and build and build. Hype is good, but a reader will get burnt out with just hype (You wouldn't want to eat the same thing for dinner every single day). Eventually they'll grow tired of it and want something different. So for every big bump in action, you have to given the reader (and the characters), a moment to rest. They need a little time to collect their thoughts. Think of these moments of stillness like little plateaus on the rising action line. The story is still moving along, but you aren't increasing the intensity yet. The reader has a moment to adjust to the new level, and then you can crank things up even further. So between every big action set piece, give everyone a moment to relax before moving on to the next one.

More importantly, it will give you as the writer a little time to collect your thoughts and discover the best place to go from where you currently are. Think it out logically. If you know you're universe well, you'll know what's on the other side of that door already. It will be the natural next thing for the characters to face. You won't have to think about it too hard. The right thing will come to you.

Best of luck with the actual writing! I look forward to seeing it!

MR Pub / Re: MR Visual Novels
« on: August 04, 2019, 04:24:59 PM »
Yeah, the script is in y'alls hands now. The coders and artists are free to do what they have to to get stuff done.

Manga Writer workshop / Re: Story Brainstorming
« on: August 04, 2019, 04:22:19 PM »
@Kean: Your point is taken, but just because it's common practice, doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to disagree with it conceptually. Like I said though, I'm thinking about it less in terms of selling it to someone, and more in terms of thinking about the thing yourself. A story needs an elevator pitch, but your story can't use an elevator pitch as a foundation.

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Echo Archives
« on: August 04, 2019, 04:18:37 PM »
I really like Raven! Spooky corvid girl for the win!

MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2019
« on: August 04, 2019, 04:16:20 PM »
Maybe you'll get lucky and it will spontaneously start working again? Computers are sorta magic like that. What makes you so sure it's dead dead?

Manga Creations / Re: Story Summary Testing No.1
« on: August 04, 2019, 04:12:48 PM »
Couple questions/critique points:

1. If we got 4 empires, why do we have 5 monks? If the number of the monks doesn't matter than why bring it up?

2. The names of all your locations are very on the nose. Like 80s saturday morning cartoon on the nose. Is that intentional? If not, are you looking at obfuscating them any?

3. So if this kid is a monk, are they same the same order of monks as the ones before? If so, what has this order of monks been up to all this time? Are they able to move between the empires freely? Are they still invested in keeping the walls up? If this kid wants to break them down then is that going against they doctrine?

4. Related: What exactly do these monks do on a daily basis? Do they all have crazy magic powers? What kinds of powers are though?

5. Why are the empires split up by element anyway? What actually separates them in actual practice? Clearly each need all 4 kinds of element to survive normal life (don't tell me the fire guys don't drink water). Please don't say they're basically just benders either because otherwise you will never see the end of ATLA comparisons unless there is a real good twist to the formula.

6. So he want's to destroy the barriers, even though the barriers are what kept people from all that fighting in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I'm very much a 'abolish the border' kinda idealist, but what's the actual plan here? Does he actually have a solution to the underlying root societal causes that probably kicked this whole shindig off in the first place? Cause otherwise it feels like he's just going to end up making things worse.

7. If the kid is from the water empire, isn't he going to be biased in their favor somewhat?

8. What is the geography of this world like anyway? Cause right now I'm just imagining it as set up like it's on a giant wheel, with the barriers being like spokes. Otherwise you're going to have some weird lines of those barriers cutting each empire off. Who borders who?

So yeah, that's what comes to mind immediately.

Manga Writer workshop / Re: Story Brainstorming
« on: August 03, 2019, 08:54:21 AM »
To start, I'll give you a popular refrain around here: A summary tells us little. It's how you actually write the story and what happens in it that makes it good and unique. So just remember that us looking at something like this can only ever really be a surface level evaluation (after all, they are surface level descriptions). There is no substitute for actual written work!

That being said, let's get down to business.

1. Reaper definitely comes across as having the most potential of the three. Although one must question that if this is the grim reaper of grim reaper fame that we're talking about here, why they need permission to take the protagonist's soul. It reads much more like your classic deal with the devil sort of situation. Maybe than just a generic "eat your soul" threat, the reaper should be making an actual deal here. Cause right now it sounds like death is really not getting anything out of this. Maybe in exchange for the rest of their natural days, the protagonist must accomplish a task for death that death cannot. Y'know, on account of them being death and what not. That way you're also introducing your actual plot right away. Whereas right now I have no idea what the story would actually be.

2. Remember what I said above, but at the same time, this idea has also been done to death already. So to elaborate on a previous point, it's not that I can't be made new and interesting, but it will take 10 times as much work. Plus, I generally find it a bad idea to couch your new idea as "blank meets blank". If possible, you should never draw from a recently dried well.

3. Do Cthulhus make pearls? I digress. Seems like it could go somewhere, but as with 1, you're kinda lacking a plot to take us away with. My only real critique I'd that just putting a Cthulhu face on the pearl is pretty cliche. Peals in real life are odd, organically formed things. In their natural state they are often oddly shaped and a variety of colors. Put some thought into making it unique amongst pearls, while still leaving it in the organic realm. A touch of realism like that is what breaths life into a story.

4. So this is actually a good set-up for an adventure story. However. I wouldn't set it on Earth. Two big reasons for that: Using "undiscovered science" in a story is great. Real good fun. But using straight up "anti-science" isn't, especially Ina the when a lot of people aren't overly trusting of academics. This is especially true if you plan to incorporate actual parts of flat earth theory. Second reason is that you will have a lot more room to play if you set this in a fantasy (in the generic sense, I'm not suggesting high fantasy) world. A lot of stories (Chronos Ruler and Dragon Ball immediately spring to mind, are set on earth, but not on Earth so much. They use 'near earths'. They call them Earth, they're like Earth, but taking a look at it, it's clearly not capital E, Earth. Using a setting like this leaves you free to invent, without having to invest time in researching actual earth. You can leave hard truths of geography and politics behind and get on with the good stuff.

Anyway, that's my two cents spent. Hope you got something from it.

Manga Art Gallery / Re: A Runaway From Reality (aka my gallery)
« on: August 01, 2019, 10:25:57 PM »
That first piece is amazing! You really captured a huge level of fidelity! What kind of references did you use for it?

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