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Messages - Yinyang6

Pages: [1]
1
Manga Creations / Re: Cross the Lines
« on: March 20, 2019, 05:46:00 AM »
Post 1 edited slightly thanks to legomaestro's suggestions, and Chapter 2 added.

2
Manga Creations / Re: Light & Darkness
« on: March 19, 2019, 02:44:40 AM »
Woah, that was surprise. Might be worth adding in her reaction though, as this made it feel a little short, almost as if I could skip over it without noticing. Gotta admit, her having a son also caught me off guard, being young with her complicated circumstances.
One thing to keep in mind when you're writing a story that will become a manga is the lack of a narration, in most cases. For example, when you write "she always prioritized her master before herself.", it wouldn't really be something you can convey in a picture. The format is good for sharing though, and it was all clear to me.

3
Manga Art Gallery / Re: Yinyang6's art
« on: March 14, 2019, 06:32:32 PM »
Bonnie's outfit is my favorite too, my sister did a great job designing with the feel I wanted.

Yeah I totally have thought how her top is kinda Wonder Womany and her hair is like Scarlet Witch's headpiece, but I never noticed her expression in this actually looks kinda like Blackfire too.

4
Manga Creations / Re: Cross the Lines
« on: March 08, 2019, 06:38:20 PM »

Quoted feedback
1. So you know if you're interested, put shortly, Cross the Lines is mostly based around action with supernatural powers. It has shonen, seinen, comedic, and political vibes throughout.

-Paratext only mentions keywords without revealing the useful overall details. It's fine to call a work sci-fi, but is it about a prince struggling for a throne on a distant planet or a galaxy hoping pirates? Are we talking augmented reality or sentient bacteria? A little extra info will help the reader.


2.Starts out with a group of men, a woman, and a young girl in a spacious room chatting about the current attack, alarms are on and whatnot.

- What is the spacious room? What is the current attack?

3-Story starts abruptly, sort of. It took me later to understand but with Nagato kicking a training dummy and finishing the chapter to understand the scene properly. I think the problem is there's few descriptions other than size to help me 'see' the scene. What colours are in the area? What time of day is it? What do the alarms sound like? What colour do they have? Is there any special smell/perfume? Is a character wearing a funny hat? A suit of armour? You don't need to describe everything, but little tidbits of information really help place a scene.

4 - Whenever I see the name Pierce I'm always reminded of CoD haha

5-Rule of thumb for dialouge: Either colons or quotation marks. Both is a nono.

A Jack: Hello
B "Hello." said Jack.

6- Kiyomi isn't introduced immediately but the others are. You should probably just introduce the lot of them in the opening description of the scene, since it occurs to me now that this is more of a manga script than prose.  Also, she refers to herself in 3rd person. Interesting.

7- It's after the scene change that I really know that there is a fight between two armies. And it's the mention of a 'spearman' where I know what kind of weaponry is being used. It'd be useful to add more helpful information even at the beginning of the scene. It doesn't need to be very descriptive. Look up some of your favourite war screenplays or drama to see how they 'set' a battle scene up. I'm thinking you want to write your story more in script form than prose, so that could be useful.

8- Gensui is a badass

9 ... but since the mafia soon enough realizes the situation and have much greater numbers they begin to put up a good fight.

- Wait the mafia? Where? When? I had no idea mafia were involved in this story until now. Because of the 'spearmen' and 'king' I thought this was a medieval fantasy.


10 Ken uses his katana to deflect Gensui’s broadsword from his face, diverting the blow.
- Who is Ken?

11. . At the same time a man from Gensui’s squad jumps at Ken and stabs once, twice, three times, but each one is dodged in a Luffy stumbling back style
- I know exactly what you mean by this back step, but depending on how informal your script is this reads weirdly. I mean I get what you want to portray but you might want to try something else.

12.  Gensui is right in front of Ken and has the perfect chance for a killing blow by stab, then hesitates and changes his attack to a slash which is deflected.
- You slow down and weaken the impact of the scene by showing what'll happen. With lesser words and with some 'empty spaces' you can trick the reader into thinking that Gensui will stab Ken. Or you can at least have the reader identify with Ken in a moment of panic. For example.

A. Gensui stood in front of Ken and Ken knew he had made a fatal mistake. A slash came out and Ken narrowly deflected it. (This connects later with 'You had the perfect chance to stab me but didn't take it!)
B. Gensui knew he could take the chance, but smiled to himself and slashed his sword instead. Ken deflected it.

13. The Chosen, huh? Interesting.

14. Kendra Yashi is a pretty cool name.

15. I should learn to say 'Fudge' more these days.

16. Gensui: “Your form is very impressive, maybe even more so than mine, but there’s hesitation in your blade. Why?”
Ken: “Actually… this is my first time using a real blade… really fighting to the death.”
- This and for most of the scene your dialogue is pretty OK. Feels quite cinematic.

17. Ken stabs Gensui, with the view not quite showing where he is stabbed. It is actually in the leg though.
- This is the sort of spoiler information that takes away from the scene. Unless you're writing the script for a manga maker who knows exactly what happens, this'll make the reader lose all the build up of the potentially sad scene. Try to keep tidbits like this too yourself for later chapters. That way the reader will be pleased to see Gensui still alive (if they like Gensui, which I did.)
Those are my quick thoughts on the chapter. All I can say is decide if you want a script or prose and stick with that, and add a little more color to the scenes so that the reader knows where everything is taking place and when it's taking place.  Keep at it!
Thanks a lot! I was aware of a few of these problems (My lack of background setting has been an issue, in the unedited version I don't even specify either battlefield), but you caught a lot of my unprofessional notes and parts only I would understand. Originally, this was meant to be more for the manga artist than otherwise, but I did not fix everything when I decided to submit it for public review, and I should. (i.e. The resistance was originally meant to be called the mafia xD)

5
Welcome Center / Re: Introducing: Myself
« on: March 07, 2019, 07:33:49 PM »
Thanks all! Glad to see you're so welcoming and I can see myself fitting in!

6
Manga Art Gallery / Re: Yinyang6's art
« on: March 06, 2019, 03:58:10 PM »
Awesome characters, do you have any stories or names to go with them? I like the macho guy as well!
Thanks, I tried to incorporate old anime styles (mostly Hokuto no Ken) to suit him.

Yes, I should have put them in the pictures themselves, but I added the names in text before each image.

As for the story, it's in progress, but I'd love to have anyone interested read it! http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,19464.0.html
Spoiler
And in case you get pranked, none of these characters appear in chapter 1 haha

7
Manga Creations / Cross the Lines
« on: March 06, 2019, 03:55:01 PM »
Put shortly, Cross the Lines is mostly based around action with supernatural powers. It has shonen, seinen, comedic, and political elements throughout, following a civil war in a world ruled by one man.
Put longly, coordinating fights has been a favorite of mine for a long time, so I take pride in them, and chose to get right into it more or less. Thusly, the series of battles was organized into a war. The reasons for this war started as a simple matter of the poor vs the rich, but developed to the point of politics becoming semi-important to the plot, and seinen themes for the grey spectrum of morality and what it means to take another's life. Still, influenced by many of my favorite shonen anime, the main characters have friendship, reasons for fighting, and never give up.

The formatting is a bit inconsistent, and this is a working title, keeping that in mind, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1
Starts out with a group of men, a woman, and a young girl in a spacious room chatting about the current attack, alarms are on and whatnot.

Young girl: “Kiyomi wants to know why they’re so persistent! They attack almost everyday and Kiyomi is sick of it!”

Nagato knocked the head off a training dummy and snorted, “It doesn’t matter; we’ll keep beating them back until they give up or die out.”

Pierce: “I’m curious too. By the by, Kiyomi, how long have you been talking about yourself in the third person?”

“Well Kiyomi watched this girl on TV do it, and it made Kiyomi want to try it. It was so much fun for Kiyomi that Kiyomi just can’t stop Kiyomi.”

Aoi: “Okay, okay, but do you really have to phrase your sentences so you have more chances to do it?”

Kiyomi puffs her cheeks up and bites him on his head in the background.

King: “Remember this Kiyomi, they’re attacking because they aren’t content with the cards they were dealt. Unlike the rest of us, who endure our roles, they want to cause chaos and destroy society out of jealousy. It truly is foolish though. These skirmishes make our money go to war and just starve more people. We’ve created the perfect utopia and they seek to destroy it because they cannot fend for themselves.”

The King begins to leave the room and Kiyomi looks up from her target, releasing him from her jaw. “Woah, Otou-chan is gonna go himself?”

King: “Of course not. A king does not fight before his soldiers. I’m going to provide the commander with a tool to sense the Chosen. Lately they’ve been trying to hide them among their troops.”

Scene change, the King is meeting a man in a more distinguished uniform who is kneeling and bowing to him. The King places his hand on the man’s head, and he glows softly. “There, if there is a Chosen on the battlefield, you will feel yourself being pulled to him. Now, what’s the situation?”

Gensui nods, standing up. “The rebels were spotted on a path to Fort Kina. Rather than intercepting them and risking heavy losses, I decided to wait till they reach the fort and immediately come from behind. Their formation will likely scatter and the lack of order should make it a clean sweep for my men.”

The King looked at Gensui with a composed face before speaking. “It’s good that you want to minimize losses, but if we lose the fort then it will fall on your shoulders. Dismissed.”

Gensui seems a bit annoyed but tries not to show it too much, bowing again and saying “Your highness.”

Scene change.

Gensui and his men come up on the rebel army while they try to break through defenses and weapons set up to stop attackers, likely in a bird’s eye view. (Like the wooden shield things with holes to fire back, other cover, and mounted weapons) Gensui charges in from behind and skillfully diverts a spearman’s attack, slashing his throat in a spin slash and proceeding to lock blades with an attacking swordsman. Pushing the swordsman back, he jumps back to dodge an arrow, then cuts another arrow in two while running towards the one firing them, slashing another spearman and any more arrows shot at him before he lunges in and cuts the bow in two before stabbing the archer quickly. There are a ton of archers since this was the formation’s backline.

At this point almost everyone is chasing Gensui to eliminate him, so his squad fires arrows and guns and then charges at the invaders’ open backs. The battle begins as a slaughter since the resistance was caught off guard and all of Gensui’s men are more skillful, which is shown by how they fight. Still, the battle becomes more chaotic as the lines are broken on both sides.

Gensui continues to outclass everyone around him. Soon enough he sees Ken and a light glow emanates from his body. He rushes towards him and stabs with his blade. Ken uses his katana to deflect Gensui’s broadsword from his face, diverting the blow. Gensui wastes no time raising his blade and striking again vertically, to which Ken manages a horizontal block before being kicked in the stomach and stumbling back. An axe-wielder slashes at Gensui randomly, but he dodges under it effortlessly and cuts him deeply. At the same time a man from Gensui’s squad jumps at Ken and stabs once, twice, three times, but each one is dodged as Ken steps back each time, Ken then strikes and the blow is deflected. Another man runs in and stabs at the squad member only to have the attack dodged and be stabbed in the stomach. While his opponent is off guard Ken takes his sword’s handle in both hands and stabs him in the heart from behind. Directly after, Gensui is right in front of Ken and has the perfect chance for a killing blow by stab, then hesitates and changes his attack to a slash which is deflected. Gensui jumps back and Ken suddenly yells at him angrily.

“What was that!?”

“Hm?”(Acting interested and unaware.)

“You had the perfect chance to stab me but you didn’t take it!”

“This isn’t a fair match…”

“This isn’t a duel, It’s a war. I caught your solider off guard and you should do the same to me!”

“You’re right...” He bows to the soldier’s body with a solemn expression. My actions were an insult to my men who created that opportunity.” He raises his sword towards Ken and grins. “Follow me.”

Gensui suddenly ran off and a confused Ken followed. Gensui led him to a large building. Upon entering, he looked at a certain wall. (The place is mostly empty, with one machine because it was directly attached and hard to remove)

“Here. This factory became obsolete and closed down a while ago, so we should have no interruptions. We can have a fair duel without worrying about our comrades.”

Ken: “Why duel me?” Ken interrogates him. “You’re the commander! You shouldn’t stray from your men to duel a foot solider.”

“Yes, but unlike the rest of them, you are one of the Chosen.” He smiles knowingly.

Ken sigh, and then smirks. “So it’s true, some of the King’s men were trained to tell us apart.”

“That’s how things stand. It felt wrong to fight you in a place you couldn’t use your full power without hurting your own men. More importantly, the King declared you Chosen as high priority targets.” He takes a stance and Ken does as well. “Now, I believe I should know the name of the man I am dueling.”

“Truth be told I haven’t quite figured out how to use the power yet, but I’d be happy to oblige. I am Kendra Yashi.”

Gensui: Ah, then my best bet would be to measure my skill against his own and hope his power doesn’t activate during battle. “My name is Gensui Yamanoto, a captain of the Imperial army. Now… come.”

Ken steps forward and proceeds to charge, with Gensui easily dodging the first attack diagonal slash by tilting his body. Ken twists his wrist and pulls back his blade, then attacks again in more of a stabbing motion under Gensui’s left arm, so Gensui jumps lightly to the side and turns his body to swipe at Ken’s head. Ken ducks and jumps in the air, shouting as he brings his sword straight down at Gensui, only to have it blocked and thrown out to the side. Gensui takes advantage of this and continuously stabs at Ken’s stomach, which he mostly dodges by moving his body around, getting small cuts until he swats the blade away and jumps back, panting and holding his stomach.

“Fudge… you’re actually really strong.”

“Fudge?”

“I don’t wanna say… well you know…”

Gensui bursts into cheerful laughter. “And I thought youth was just getting more vulgar these days.”

Gensui seamlessly moves to a stance, and then an attack. This time Ken tries to block with his sword and throw a punch at Gensui’s temple, but Gensui’s strength outmatches Ken’s, so Ken is pushed back by the swing, his feet sliding across the floor as Gensui strikes again. This time Ken blocks with both hands, and they are at a deadlock for a bit. Gensui begins to strike a lot more, Ken blocking each strike but being forced back and losing his balance due to the difference in strength. Finally, Gensui crouches down a bit and throws a low slash at Ken’s waist, and it hits even though Ken stumbles back more, so the cut is a bit shallow. Ken stabs forward and Gensui dodges it barely, getting cut a bit at the shoulder, then yelling as he attacks again.

A hidden camera was in the wall Gensui looked at earlier, and the match is being recorded. In a nearby city, two boys are watching fight which is being broadcast on the news, but of course the Society is being built up while the rebels are called underhanded and frowned upon. Rather than a battle, the encounter is being framed as an assassination attempt.

“Wow, that’s Gensui, he’s a commander in the King’s army.”

“He must be fighting one of the Chosen.”

“Chosen? Like the legendary hero?”

“Yep, I heard they’re the only ones who have ever seen the rebel boss’s face and lived to tell the tale.”

“That’s just hype, the police dismissed all those rumors.”

“Well do you know anyone that’s seen him?”

“Like that proves anything!”

“The police are just on the King’s payroll. The rebels aren’t just criminals anymore, they’re changing the world.”


Scene change

Gensui: “Your form is very impressive, maybe even more so than mine, but there’s hesitation in your blade. Why?”

Ken: “Actually… this is my first time using a real blade… really fighting to the death.”

Gensui: “Are you afraid you’ll cut me? Now you’re the one being disrespectful. With more experience, you really could be a prodigy though. It would be a shame to cut you down here. Surrender if you have no will to fight, and I can at least capture you alive.”

Ken: “I can tell you’re dedicated to the way of the sword, but I am too. If I can’t find my resolve now, there’s no future for me in the blade. I won’t surrender.”

“Heh, what a strange boy you are.”

Gensui runs up to Ken and they fight some more, but soon enough, Ken is caught off guard and over powered. The next panel is black and then a blood splat. He barely blocks the next strike and Gensui’s blade is cut in two, causing him to get cut and jump back in surprise. He says that Ken is stronger than he thought to cut through steel. He draws a second sword from the sheath on his hip and readies it, then the two rush at each other and slash in a samurai duel type thing. Once again Gensui’s sword is cut in two but this time he is cut much deeper and goes to his knees. Ken’s sword is glowing and turns to face his enemy, walking towards him.

Ken: “I am truly sorry. You probably trained your whole life and yet I beat you simply because I was born Chosen.”

Gensui laughs in amusement, although obviously in pain.

Ken looks down at Gensui and puts his sword at his neck. “Do you think, when you recover, you can retire and leave the army behind?”

Gensui smiles at the offer but shakes his head. “I do have a family to look after.”

“Then once again, I am truly sorry.”

Ken stabs Gensui, Ken's back being shown in the panel rather than showing the straight up gore.

Scene change

A man wearing a ninja mask kneels down in a room with a suited man at a desk.

Manji: “It seems our offensive failed, but Ken managed to take down the enemy commander and ordered a retreat in order to lower the amount of casualties.”

Boss: “I see… Well we can’t exactly leave that position under enemy control…” The man gazes over his desk, a map and several pictures displayed on it. “Who shall I send?”
END
Chapter 2
Dialogue box in black panel: Wake up…. Wake up… wake up!

Soft at first, the text and dialogue boxes grow more harsh, sharp, and unattractive until the next panel (now Axel’s viewpoint with eyes partly open) reveals a whip coming, which is then seen smacking him in the face.
 
Axel: Owwww! Gosh dang it Chi!

Whip: Get the *censored* up, piece of *censored*. Ken’s ere’ to report.

Axel, slightly irritated but making a pouted lip, rubs the mark on his face as he turns to face Ken.

Ken: The operation was a failure. Even worse, it seems like the enemy had some way to pick me out even before I was chosen.

Manji: Does that mean…?

Ken: Yes. The commander requested a duel, and he was very skilled. I began to think I was fated to fall there when my blade suddenly cut through his. It did so twice. When I returned to the battlefield, our soldiers were already in retreat, having suffered heavy losses.

Axel: Awww man… that’s tough. Welp, ya win some ya lose some, back to bed.

He lies back down and Tamako sighs at his behavior.

Manji: I see. I’ll share this with the boss and return with his orders…

Manji ninjas out of the room, seemingly vanishing.

Bonnie, patting Ken on the back: C’mon, it isn’t your fault you were ambushed, you weren’t the commander. And you did take out a Captain and unlock your power!

Bonnie, pouting now: What do you feel bad about?! I’m jealous!

Chi chuckles at this then Bonnie gets mad and hits her weakly while flailing, which yields no response from Chi.

Manji is suddenly back in the room, behind Ken, scaring Ken a bit.

Manji: We’ll follow up immediately. The soldiers are weary, but it’s likely reinforcements are on route to Fort Kina. Bonnie and Chi will attack before they arrive, making sure the reinforcements stay on course. Don’t take any dumb risks; you have no need to capture it. This is a decoy mission. Try not to get your troops killed if possible.

Tonfa walks in from the shadows and speaks: Those two? Shouldn’t they have a manly hero to protect them?

Chi, visibly angered: I can handle myself! We don’t need help ‘cause we’re girls. (Well Bonnie might.)

Tamako: Just count Chi as the man. She’s close enough.

Chi slowly turns her head and glares at her, and Tamako smirks.

Manji: Chi has proven her ability to lead a mission, and Bonnie will… be there at least. Meanwhile you need to protect the base assigned to you. I will team up with our new Chosen and attack Area 37. Intelligence suggests Gensui oversaw that area, so with his death we should be able to take it much easier.

Ken: New Chosen?

Manji: Yes, you’ll meet him upon our return. Let’s end the meeting here and prepare to move out.

Tonfa opens the door for Bonnie and raises his fist.
 
Tonfa: If you two are captured by the enemy, I’ll go through the depths of hell to save you damsels!

Bonnie, with a slight bow before leaving: “That’s sweet of you, thanks.”

Chi approaches him: “Go to hell, pig.”

She proceeds to kick him in the balls harshly and leave.

All the males in the room wince as he goes on his knees, and if you look closely, Manji is already gone.

Scene change (At a train station)

Manji meets up with a tallish teenager, his pupils shaped like small x’s. He smirked happily and nodded at him, then Manji nodded back and began to lead him to their destination.


Scene change

Chi screams while harshly whipping an enemy solider: Hiya!

She whips another and then wraps the weapon around a third man’s neck.

Chi: Material: Steel!

The leather whip changed into pure unbending steel. She used the pole-like whip to hit several of her enemies, swinging her poor, choking victim into them as well. Bonnie shot an arrow directly at the neck of a far-off enemy.

Bonnie: Wow Chi, you’re really torturing them. Are you a sadist?

Chi: Agh! Shut up, Bonnie! You better not have started those rumors circulating among the soldiers! I swear… if I find another drawing…

Bonnie shoots a man attacking Chi from behind while she’s yelling and smiles happily.

Bonnie: Sorry!

Chi changes her whip to normal form and pulls the choking solider closer, kicking him in the stomach. She sees a man and uses the whip once more, but his double-bladed pike begins to spin and get wrapped up in the whip, the man not even directly touching his weapon. He motions his hand back and the spear pulls back, trying to pull her whip away.

Chi: Steel!

Once again, the whip changes form, and the man’s weapon is all tangled up by it.

Now Bonnie!

Bonnie fires an arrow.


Kenji and Manji walked through a mostly desolate field of dirt and the occasional plant, Kenji kicking a soda can along. They chat a bit about Kenji joining their group, Manji saying something about how it might be hard, considering Kenji’s past, and then you hear a gunshot. They both jump back, and the soda can is shot and launched into the air. Kenji shoots the soda can from below with a pistol, and then it hits another bullet and deflects it up above Kenji’s head, it went through his hair instead.

Manji: Did you just deflect a bullet with a soda can…?

Kenji: Yeah, I did. Pretty awesome, right?

Grinning, he pulled out a rifle strapped to his back, aimed, and shot it. The small figure of a sniper in the distance could be seen as he fell off the roof of a small lodging.

Manji: Snipers? If this is just a temporary fort, it’s strange they have advanced technology defending it.

Kenji: Your, I mean, our, boss must have good instincts. Gensui’s unit must have come here for a reason.


The man Bonnie and Chi were fighting ducks under the arrow, holding out his hand towards a fallen soldier. The soldier’s spear flies into his hand, then he jumps onto and begins running on the steel whip and jumping just before she turned it back to normal, slashing an arrow shot by Bonnie and landing in front of Chi before he freezes. She uses this opportunity to punch him.

He jumps back, and then speaks quietly.

Solider: You’re girls…

Chi: That’s why you held back!? Grrrrrr….

He held out his spear and dropped it.

Solider: I’m not gonna hurt a girl. It isn’t in my nature.

Chi: Ass!

She whips at him, and he dodges her by swaying his body, but a skillfully flick of her wrist snaps the whip in front of his face, making him fall down.

Chi: Bonnie! Kill ‘im!

Bonnie does nothing, which only annoys Chi more, and she attacks again, so he rolls back and gets to his feet.

Bonnie: Um… what’s your name?

Solider: Pierce.

Bonnie: I’m Bonnie…

He smiled softly, and then dodged another one of Chi’s blows.

Bonnie: Um... Can I ask… why would you fight for the people who oppress us if you’re such a nice guy?

He looked at her, and then turned around, looking over his shoulder and speaking in a solemn, pensive voice.

Solider: Don’t rightly know, I just fight for pay.

Chi in smaller text: Please stop holding a conversation with the guy I’m fighting and help!

He ran as Chi began to attack and chase him, finally giving up as he was much faster. As Chi lets her temper get the better of her, she forgets to monitor her troops and they begin to be overwhelmed.


Chi: What a bitch!

Bonnie: I don’t know… I thought he was kind of charming…

Chi: Whhhhaaaaaatttt?!

Scene change

A few gunshots echo and Kenji blows his smoking gun in a cliché manner, Manji nimbly dodging bullets and whatnot as he slashes vital areas with his dagger. All the troops attacking the two of them don’t seem to stand much of a chance, but soon enough a cackle is heard as the man from the end of episode one runs in and charges at Kenji, parrying each shot with an oddly short halberd with a fat blade. Kenji narrows his eyes and the perspective is changed to see though them, and how like a cyborg he perfectly locks on to his enemy, taking in the path he is on and speed he has. Shooting another bullet, the man comes to a sudden and complete stop, and the bullet soars right past him, grazing his cheek.

The man, now completely still: You’re good.

Kenji: I know. I won’t miss again.

Man: Hahahahaha. Don’t think I’m as weak as that Gensui! I was ready for this! You’ll all see my strength!

He snaps his fingers and more men come out, completely surrounding them.

Manji: How could the generals possibly replace you in the same day?

Man: The generals? Those fools had nothing to do with this… they don’t recognize my strength. But I’ll bring them your heads, and they’ll see…

Manji: Heh, you really are an idiot.

Man: Rrrgh! Get them!

Kenji fires three more bullets, but the man blocks them with his weapon, and Kenji is forced to focus on other targets as they close in. The commander comes closer, but Manji is quick enough to get in his way, giving Kenji the opportunity to aim right at his face and fire. He manages to jump back, but is still shot in the chest by a second bullet before Kenji starts hand-to-hand fighting people too close for comfort, dispatching a few of them by dodging, whacking, or firing his gun at point blank range.

Would-be commander: You’re outnumbered!

Kenji: You’re outmatched.

Manji is behind the commander immediately, and he barely dodges a slash, trying to retaliate but finding that Manji is already gone and fighting other people.

This isn’t a contest of skill. This is a battle!

All the men surrounding them suddenly make way as Kenji and Manji are enclosed by large men with Maxim guns propped on wheels.

Commander: No matter how strong you are, you can’t survive a thousand bullets from all directions…

All of them aimed and Kenji and Manji went back to back.

Commander: Fire!

END

8
Manga Art Gallery / Yinyang6's art
« on: March 02, 2019, 08:49:10 PM »
Axel
Kenji
Tonfa
Chi
Bonnie

EDIT: Added Axel and put images in spoilers

9
Welcome Center / Introducing: Myself
« on: March 02, 2019, 08:40:45 PM »
Hey, I am Craig, feel free to call me that, though I'm also used to Yin; I've been using this username and variations on it for a long time, since I've always liked the light and dark balance idea. I can recall watching Digimon Frontier's final episodes and how the villain mixed light and darkness together to create the ultimate chaotic attack and thinking it was so cool. Now I just think "wouldn't they cancel out?"
But that was a long time ago. I'm twenty three now (which I think is pretty old here?) and I still love anime and manga, and really started getting my biggest idea for one rolling when I proposed writing one with a friend on a whim like seven years back now. He wasn't all that interested so it's a solo thing now, but I can't say I've made seven years worth of progress or anything. As I've gotten better at story structure and whatnot I often go back and revise, much of it is just ideas noted down, and of course I've been busy with schooling as well. I've written 12 chapters in script format, because editing that is easy and I'm confident in my writing, having done text based RP for many years, but I feel my drawings leave much to be desired. My form is lacking in many perspectives and poses, I can't ink or draw digitally, but I do like my designs and ability to capture expressions.
Hmm what else. I'm from California, probably love shonen the most of all genres but watch/read a lot of variety... oh and I waited a few days to post here because I wanted to post some of my work simultaneously in case anyone wanted to see it. I can't say any of my friends are creators, and I would love to talk to more, but I haven't actively searched for a community due to being unsure how committed I was, but hey, I finally googled it, and here I am, looking forward to meeting you all.

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