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Topics - JackOfArtAndProse

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Develop Your Story / Arabic fantasy webcomic script
« on: April 22, 2019, 07:23:48 AM »
Hello folks!

I'm JackOfArtAndProse, a new arrival to these forums. I debated a bit whether I should post the very first comic strip from my main project over here, to get some valuable feedback, and decided that I'd do just that. I'm posting this one without any preface, trying to avoid giving you any references so that I can gauge whether or not I can convey the story's beginning through its own merits alone. I will, however, state that this is written in scrolling format that is common to webtoons. Also, my script-writing is functional, but it doesn't adhere to the most conventional formula.

I look forward to hearing you folks' thoughts and ruminations!

Blood of the Immortal(WIP name)

Comic strip 1

[Panel 1: This is a scrolling panel that continues until all of the exposition is done. The panel is entirely black, sans the white text(this is subject to change; no one wants to read a webcomic that starts with a literal black screen as it is unappealing)]

Narrative: What is a Lifeblood?

(As the readers scroll down the black panel, more sentences appear)

Narrative: The Black Caps have struggled with this question for a millennia already.

Narrative: “Bloods' are items”, they argue, being correct.

Narrative: “Reflections of one's vitality”, they continue, stating but a simple fact.

Narrative: However, I know…

(some blackness in between)

Narrative: If someone were to claim that Lifebloods are something far more, he'd call upon himself the wrath of those who once lived in the shadow of the God-King.

(some blackness in between)

Narrative: You don't play games with the Church of the God-King...

Narrative: ...especially not cat and mouse.

[some black space in between)

Narrative:  Rilad Sylnera’s diary,
113 years after the demise of the God-king

(The black panel fades into whiteness, which fades into a view of a blue sky with an emphasized sun overhead to convey the heat. A distant plume of dark smoke is rising up into the sky.)
(The panel scrolls down, the sky slowly changing into high-rising buildings, then medium-sized buildings and a bazaar. There's people shuffling about and buying goods from bazaar stalls; fruit, roasted meat, all kinds of things. All the time, we can see the plume of dark smoke in the far distance. Then the panel continues down into the shadows of the Shadow District[a slum of sorts], showing two people[Elir and Sari, our main characters] walking down a heavily shadowed street. The high-rising buildings from before cast large shadows over the district, and the mood is somewhat foreboding, as if hinting at things to come. However, the sun is shining RIGHT on the two[we’re only seeing their backs for now, and Elir is walking slightly huddled as if he were assaulted by the heat from th)e sun]. Sari - the girl walking on the right side - has turned her head to look up at the plume of smoke in the distance, shielding her eyes with her hand. Elir - the one walking on the left side - walks huddled as if silently suffering under his cape.)

[Panel 2: Same shot as at the end of panel 1, but we're shown Sari speaking her first line in the whole series.]
Sari: The smoke still lingers.

[Panel 3: Camera cuts to Sari, showing her entire upper body and face as she’s looking upward from between her fingers. We're shown a few small glimmers of sweat on her neck. She’s frowning heavily as she peers into the distance, her gesture suggesting that she has a bad eyesight.]
Sari: Was it that bad…?

[EXTRA PANEL(added during editing process): Same shot as in panel 3, but Sari turns to look at Elir, lowering the hand she had used to shield her eyes.]
Elir(speech bubble coming from outside the panel): Sari...

[Panel 4: Camera pans to Elir as if we were looking from Sari's eyes. We see Elir looking at the “camera” from under his hood. We don’t see his eyes. It is clear that Elir dislikes the hot weather.]
Elir: You won’t figure out what happened last night even if you keep staring at the sky.

[Panel 5: A shot of Sari from behind. We're shown her holding her hand to her waist in a traditional "duh" pose, her other hand pointed towards Elir as if she were demanding for an explanation.]
Sari: Well, excuse me for trying!

[Panel 6: An enlarged shot of panel 5. We still don’t see his face. Sari is agitated, perhaps lifting both of her arms into the air as if exasperated with Elir.]
Elir: Your eyes are already bad as-is--
Elir(second speech bubble):--better not make them worse by looking anywhere near the sun.
Sari: You’re the enemy of all natural curiosity!

[Panel 7: A small shot at Sari who is lowering her hands and looking somewhat despondent. It looks like she’s emotionally overwhelmed by the unknown circumstance looming in the horizon.]

[Panel 8: Same shot as panel 7, Elir’s speech bubble comes from outside the panel.]
Elir: Come on. It’s not much further 'till the bazaar.

[Panel 9: A shot of Elir, showing his upper body.]
Elir: It’ll be cooler there.

[Panel 10: A shot of Sari inhaling deep, as if trying to control herself.]

[Panel 11: A shot of Elir and Sari from the side as they round a corner.]
Sari: You owe me a plateful of fruit.
Elir: Do you know how much fruits go for nowadays?!
Sari: Oh, I know.  And that’s why.

[This last exchange happens in the white space just before the chapter ends]
Elir: ...Fruit addict.
Sari: Numbhead.
Elir: Glutton.
Sari: Boor.
Elir: Blind princess who never does any housework.
Sari: I have to do research!

EDIT: Also, I might combine this webcomic 'strip' with the next one to make it longer and a more coherent whole. For now, however, this is the form that it has taken.

Welcome Center / A wild writer appears!
« on: April 21, 2019, 03:50:15 AM »
Hello everyone!

I'm JackOfArtAndProse, previously known as "Xanedis" online. Never used this site though. I'm happy to join your community, and I look forward to any and all quality interactions on this forum.

Quick summary of who I am:

As mentioned before, I am a writer. More specifically, I write webcomic scripts with a distinct fantasy tinge. Epic fantasy is close to my heart, but so is the isekai genre. I write emotionally potent stories with fun party banter, mysterious worldbuilding, interesting magic systems, roaring action and hilarious comedy... never forgetting the impact of a well-placed scene of harrowing heartache.

I am male(as far as I know XD), 28 years old. I have stumbled upon this forum a few times in the past, but have now decided to join in earnest.

I have read (and watched) all kinds stuff, but I was always in awe of stories that immersed you in their fantastical worlds(Promised Neverland, Re;Zero). I also loved Charlotte despite the fact that it wasn't fantasy-esque. As for mangas, I read anything from traditional mainstream shounen(Naruto, Dragon Ball Z) to popular drama/romance mangas(I''s). I also read regular books and webcomics(Tower of God, Rebirth and Room of Swords are some of my current favourites).

I am a very creative person, and I like to dabble into music as well. I'm still only learning to do music, however.

Here's a few links to my writing online:
(Summary: ["Audiobook" version:] SHORT STORY // Fascinated by all things projectile, "Dingo" finds himself at odds with neighbours, their pets and even his "serene" wife. How will his family react to his latest invention)
(A villain from a fantasy world gets transported into yet another fantasy world. [Please keep in mind that this is from one year ago, and is thus contains slightly weaker writing than what I can muster nowadays])

Finally... I should mention that I joined this forum with the intent of meeting artists and possibly(if the metaphorical stars align) starting a webcomic collaboration with someone. I know that all collaborations(ESPECIALLY the bigger ones) require trust and major chemistry, so I'm looking forward to meeting new people and getting to know them.  Maybe I'll be able to share about my webcomic project one day and see if anyone's interested, although true collaborations(in which both the artist and the writer have say in writing and art) tend to be more popular and get both people more invested in the long run. We'll see.

Thank you for reading this introduction, and I hope to make your acquaintance.


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