April 24, 2019, 10:12:52 PM

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.



------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Topics - PichuDX

Pages: [1]
1
Manga Creations / Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« on: March 11, 2019, 11:30:34 PM »
[Volume 1 Post and Introduction]

(Quick Note: In case you haven't seen on the old thread, we have decided to do a mini hard reset on the series.  We all agreed that the pacing was off, and the development could be much better, so instead of digging ourselves into a hole, we have completely redone all of the chapters! *Dear god have mercy on my fingers, they have worked so hard*  If you have seen the old scripts, please give these new ones a read! The characters are the same, but I think you'll enjoy this new reworked story!)
- Nathan L.

*Old Intro*
Hey everyone! My names Nathan L. and I'm the author behind Dragon Universe, my current manga project. My team of artists and I have been working diligently for the past few years to start this series up, so hopefully you all enjoy it!

A few notes you should keep in mind before you read:

1. The scripts posted here are bit unprofessional, and I realize that. They are written both like a script and with notes all over. I was going to clean it up, but I figured I'd keep it as is. I've found that using this format helps the artists understand more about how to draw the pages, so I thought I'd show you all the full process of how we get that done to help out any future mangaka, if that makes any sense :P. (as a side note, I have removed anything that might spoil later plot points, but besides that most of my work is there. By spoil, I mean anything the reader is not intended to know about while reading the finished product, none of the story was altered, just side notes.)

2. We have tons of artwork and pages done for the manga [ THOSE PAGES ARE NOW OLD AND NON CANON :D], If your interested in our work, and are curious what our characters look and interact like, please feel free to look us up on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dragon-Universe-171809216719052/?ref=bookmarks
Please note that most of our pages are not there, we are waiting until we officially release the manga to show off our hard work to the public! That being said, all of our character designs and concept art is there, which there are a ton of.

3. All comments and criticism is greatly appreciated. there's no point in writing this story if no one enjoys it! We want to make this a great experience, so any feedback you have, please leave so we can review it. Thanks in advance!


Chapter 1 "Rewrite"

Spoiler

Chapter 1 “DREAM” Start

(The chapter opens on a little girl sitting in a field of flowers. The art style resembles that of a little kid coloring with crayons. The little girl is resembling a younger Yuki. Yuki is looking around the field, picking up flowers as she goes. After a few panels of her picking flowers, a grey fog starts to creep up from behind her. Once it moves past her face, she slowly turns around. As she's turning around I believe three small panels in a row with an intensifying light will work, as her expression changes to show disbelief. Once she's fully turned around, a whole page should be dedicated to her standing, facing a mansion that is up in horrifying flames. Yuki should seem small compared to the mansion and flames. The next panel should show the flames in her eyes, and with a close up of her eyes reveal a figure standing in the flames. The view should flip to her perspective, slowly zooming into a sinister looking figure (Make sure he has distorted looking, spiky hair. He should also have something resembling a chain coming from his pocket attaching to his waist) facing sideways, his hand facing upwards and out stretched. Once he is in close enough view, show him turning his head only towards Yuki, pulling his hand a bit closer to himself. Then, he smiles wickedly with two, distinctive red eyes shining directly at the reader and Yuki, clenching his hand into a fist, flames bursting out from inside the fist. His head should also be slightly tilted.)

Chapter 1 “DREAM” End

Real Chapter 1 “Rewrite” Start

(The chapter opens up on Yuki slowly opening her good eye [Her bad one isn’t shown until she's putting on her eyepatch, and when it's shown it's closed.] She rubs her bad eye with her arm, still lying down. She seems to have woken up in a cold sweat, and her breathing is off. Eventually, she pulls herself out of her disheveled bed, and makes her way over to her mirror, the reflection showing herself with a long White T shirt and black shorts on. She sighs, and speaks to herself as she puts her eye patch on.)

(She then goes about her daily routine. The next few scenes show her brushing her teeth, brushing her messy hair, making a coffee in a huge kitchen, and sitting down, sipping the coffee. As this goes on, it should become clear that she happens to be the only one in the mansion, show long, empty halls as she walks by, and empty rooms, with her sticking out. By the next time we see her, she switched out her shorts for casual, comfy jogging pants. She drags herself to the front door of her mansion.)

Yuki: (Guess I should pass the time.)

(She stretches, and walks out to her front yard.)

Yuki: It’s a bit early, but I guess I could get some practice in.

(Yuki arrives to her front yard, which is neatly kept, and walks over to a few logs by the path, a good few feet from the house as to not damage it.)

Yuki: Alright, lets see here…
(Yuki picks up a wooden training sword, which seems worn, and starts to swing it around a bit to warm up.)

Yuki: Yesterday I was able to snap one of these in five swings, so I guess I should go for four.

(Yuki takes her free hand, and picks up a log. She then whips it into the air, and patiently waits for it to fall. Right before it hits the ground, as it passes by Yuki’s face, she swings at the log with her wooden sword. The collision makes a loud thud, and the log flies forward a bit, scraping against the ground. A huge dent can be seen in the log, about ? of the way in.)

Yuki: Alright, lets try again.

(Yuki walks over to pick it up, and it is assumed she continues to train. The scene switches to deeper into the woods surrounding her mansion, and a shot of a few people in cloaks walking down a path can be seen. There are four in total, one of which is Hitachi, which is evident by his sword tied to his back. One of the thugs (Thug 3), is noticeable much older, the others seem to be young adults and in Hitachi’s case, a teenager. The four people all have their hoods up, and are walking in a pack. Eventually, the sound of Yuki smacking the logs can be heard by the group.)

[Note to artist: Feel free to design the other three thugs in any manner you wish.]

Thug 1: Did ya guys hear that?

Thug 2: Yeah. Maybe someones come to deliver us some damn food.

(The three laugh, while Hitachi keeps to himself.)

Thug 1: Let’s check it out.

(Thug 1 takes out a small pocket knife, and from his palm a streak of poison is created, wrapping around the blade. The title card for Talents and names appears, and lists this man’s talent as “Talent: Poison Produce”. The other three follow him and they stop right before moving into the clearing of Yuki’s mansion. They see Yuki training, and they seem dumbfounded.)

Thug 2: Whoa. I didn’t know something like this existed way out here.

Thug 3: It’s an odd place to call home… though I think we can work it out.

(The three thugs eye each other with vicious intend.)

(Hitachi is eyeing Yuki, who is now sitting on one of the logs and taking a break.)

Thug 2: Well, looks like we found our place to laylow. Bout time, Huh?

Thug 1: Yeah, I’m getting pumped up just thinking about it!

(Hitachi looks worryingly at the ground.)

Hitachi: What do we do about the girl?

(Thug 3 pushes Hitachi back, with enough force to knock him on his ass.)

Thug 3: You can’t hesitate in this kinda world, kid. This here is a golden chance to finally settle down, and your gonna blow it because you don’t want to hurt some girl?

(Hitachi slouches down, in embarrassment, as the three exit the woods and walk towards Yuki, menacingly. Yuki hears a noise behind her, and before she can turn around, the knife from early is pinned against her throat, she is in a choke hold with Thug 1.)

Thug 1: Don’t ya dare scream, kid. Wouldn’t want to hurt ya!

(The other two thugs laugh, and walk towards the house, as Yuki is mortified. As they walk towards the house, Yuki bites Thug 1’s hand, and runs over to her wooden sword and points it towards them.)

Yuki: W-what do you people want!? Leave me alone!

Thug 1: You little-

(Thug 1 rushes towards Yuki, and slashes at her. Yuki stumbles a bit as she moves out of the way, and she is pushed down to the ground by Thug 2, whose Talent is revealed to be a sort of clay. The Talent panel reads “Talent: Clay Produce”. She is then stuck to the ground, unable to move.)

Yuki: No- Let me go!

Thug 1: Hehe, shoulda played nice, ya little *censored*, you woulda last much longer.

(A scene is shown from a similar path from the one earlier in the woods, a shot of Bryan, his face covered by the shadows of the trees, is shown. He is walking with some sort of device in his right hand, which is outstretched in front of him like a compass. During this scene, Bryan’s face isn’t revealed.)

Bryan: They couldn’t have gone far, these guys don’t know when to quit.

(The light on the device changes, and Bryan seems to be intrigued.)

Bryan: Hey, they aren't far at all! Alright, time to take them down! Let’s see, there are three of them… so that would be about 40 points?

(Bryan continues to walk as he stares down at his device. The scene switches to Hitachi watching from the woods, as Thugs 1 and 2 kick and mock Yuki as she’s stuck to the ground. Thug 3 is now at the front door or the mansion.)

Thug 3: Now, lets see. Hope I don’t need a damn key or anything.

(Despite the torture, Yuki turns to Thug 3 and screams helplessly.)

Yuki: You, don’t you dare touch it!

Thug 3: Sorry girl, but I think you mean it’s ours.

(Thug 3 laughs as he enters the house, and Yuki squirms around frantically, trying to break out of the clay holding her down.)

Yuki: Nooo-! You guys can’t go in there! Who even are you people?!

(Hitachi watches from the woods as the three thugs torment Yuki, and he thinks to himself silently.)


(Hitachi reaches for the sword on his back, and slowly emerges from the woods. He walks past Yuki and the thugs, and enters the house.)

Thug 1: Hey, Tachi grew some balls!

Thug 2: Bout time. Hey, looks like we got to shut this kid up. Last thing we need is-

(Suddenly, from the woods, Bryan jumps out, in a full sprint, and a dumb grin on his face.)

Bryan: Hey you! What do you think your doing?!

(The two thugs seem more irritated than intimidated.)

Thug 2: Damn, not this stupid kid again…

(Bryan is finally completely revealed, rushing out into the clearing. His face is covered in bandages, and his jacket is a bit torn. Hitachi turns around before entering the house, and he seems dumbfounded.)


Hitachi: Who… the hell is that?

(A quick flashback shows the three thugs walking away from a beaten, defeated Bryan, who is slouched against a tree. Hitachi, not fully aware of the situation, continues to walk in after Thug 3.)

Bryan: Alright, who’s ready for some payback?

(Thug 2 whips his hand outward and attempts to shoot him down with his clay, but Bryan dodges it and manages to run in close. He gets one clean punch in on the thug’s arm before he gets pushed away by the thug’s free hand.)

Thug 2: Damn brat!

Bryan: That was for yesterday, ya damn jerk!

(Yuki is at a loss for words, and then suddenly, as the Thug is hit, the clay around her softens up, and she’s able to escape. She stands up, and backs away a bit. Thug 1 turns to her, his knife dripping with poison.)

Thug 1: Oh, how cute. You didn't plan on runnin’ , did ya?

(Yuki starts to run, but the Thug follows suit. Before he can grab her, she bends down and grasps the wooden sword she dropped. She whips around, smacking the thug in the jaw with the sword, and gets into battle stance.)

Yuki: I don’t know who you guys are…but you messed with the wrong girl.

Thug 1: (Damn, this ain’t gonna be easy, then?)

(Near by, closer to the house, Bryan is dodging and weaving blasts of clay. Thug 2 is getting visibly annoyed.)


Thug 2: Stand still, god dammit! You move around like a goddamn cockroach!

(Bryan dodges one more shot, and then tucks himself in, rushing towards the thug. He lands a punch to the thug’s gut, but this causes the blast the thug was currently charging to go wild, and it flys past Bryan, smacking into one of the mansion’s walls, leaving a good chunk of it ruined. Yuki looks away from her fight for a second and seems mortified.)

Yuki: H- Hey! Stop it!

Bryan: Crap! Sorry, miss! I didn’t-

(Thug 2 punches Bryan on the side of his face, making Bryan stop speaking and stumble back.)

Thug 2: Look what ya made me do! How are we going to live here with something like that!? I’ma make you pay, kid!

Bryan: Wha-!

(Thug 2 starts to rapid fire shots towards Bryan, and a lot of stray blasts are smacking into the mansion, causing even more damage.)

Yuki: My House!

(Yuki starts to rush over, but Thug 1 blocks her path.)

Thug 1: Don’t you think you should be more concerned about your own life!

(Thug 1 thrusts towards her, but Yuki skillfully, and seemingly out of character, is able to smack the knife out of the thug’s hand with her wooden sword, and then smacks his face with the handle, knocking him down. She then proceeds to walk over to Bryan and Thug 2, furious.)

Thug 2: Damn, that chick ain’t playin’ around…
Bryan: Again, I’m so sorry about th-

(As the three interact, they are all suddenly caught off guard by Thug 3, who is then thursted out of the second story, through a window. He lands on his back, coughs in pain, and then knocks out. Hitachi is then visible from the window.)

Hitachi: Sorry… but I’m not really comfortable with taking something like this from someone.


(Hitachi looks down at the other three, and then notices the damage to the house.)


Hitachi: Whoa, what the hell?! Why would you destroy the place if you wanted to live here!?

(Thug 2 is now extremely pissed. He aims at Hitachi with his hand.)

Thug 2: Damn traitor! Get your ass down here!

(Thug 2 then proceeds to rapid fire at the second floor, causing Hitachi to stumble back into the house to dodge the onslaught, but this leads to a lot of damage to the top layer of the house.)

Yuki: You...

(Yuki stomps over to Thug 2, who is still blasting, and attempts to grab him. He then changes his aim to her, but before she gets hit, Bryan steps in the way and starts to tank the blasts.)

Bryan: Get out of here miss, this guy is too dangerous for a civilian!

(Yuki starts to back up.)


Yuki: Who even are you, kid?

(Bryan then cockilly smiles, turn to her as he takes the hits, and speaks.)

Bryan: I’m a future Dragon University Student, Bryan! Nice to meet ya!

(From the top floor, Hitachi’s sword is whipped from the top floor at thug 2, and as Thug 2 is distracted, the sword nails him in the side, knocking him out as well.)

Bryan: Aw, hey! I wanted to beat him...

(Hitachi leans out of one of the broken windows, exhausted.)

Hitachi: A “Thank You” would be nice…

(An hour or two seems to pass. The thugs are now tied up to a tree nearby, unconscious, and Hitachi, Bryan, and Yuki are discussing the recent event. Yuki is slouched down on her steps, seemingly depressed about her current situation. Hitachi has his hood down, his sword lodged into the ground near him, and is leaning against one of the pillars near Yuki’s mansion. Bryan is standing in front of Yuki and Hitachi, upset at the damage he caused.)

Bryan: I’m so sorry about that miss! I wasn’t thinking at all, man…  I’m so ashamed of myself…

Hitachi: Well, at least you were here to help out. I think we coulda managed, but the damage could have been much worse.

(Yuki is still hunched over, silently contemplating the situation, saddened by her destroyed mess of a house.)

Bryan: Well, I hope you guys get it figured out.

(Bryan changes to a happy go lucky mood, and starts to walk over to the thugs.)


Bryan: I’m just glad I finally caught these three, they’ve been running a muck for weeks now! I can’t wait to get home and show-

(Yuki suddenly gets up as he speaks, and places her hand on his shoulder, menacingly. Bryan shudders, and slowly turns his head.)

Bryan: U- Um… can I help you, miss?

Yuki: One million.

Bryan: Excuse me?

Yuki: You owe me one million in repairs.

(Bryan’s jaw drops, and the color fades from his face.)


Bryan: Wh- what?! I don’t have that kind of money!

(Yuki turns coldly to Hitachi.)


Yuki: And you. You owe half of that. Five hundred thousand.

Hitachi: … For a window?

(The two boys seem scared of Yuki, as she turns back to Bryan.)

Yuki: You said you don’t have that kind of money?

(Her grip tightens, and Bryan panics and yelps.)


Bryan: H- Hey! Calm down miss! I’ll pay you back, I promise!

Yuki: And how do you suppose you’ll do that?

Bryan: I’ll earn the money! I’ll work for it, now please let go, your hurting me!

(Yuki’s grip lessens slightly, but she's still holding on.)

Bryan: You… your still holding onto me…

Yuki: I’m not giving you the chance to run away. Both of you are going inside. Right now.

(Hitachi sighs, and the three walk into what's left of the apartment. The sun shines through the trees, as the chapter closes with an ominous shot of Yuki’s basement { A few panels leading the reader down a hall or two, and down the stairs} with her sword, Korace, placed over an empty, dusty fireplace.)

END



Chapter 2 "Departing"

Spoiler

Chapter 2 “Departing” Start

(The chapter opens with the view of a plate of food, freshly prepared, but certainly not full, sitting on the table, in front of Bryan. They three are located in Yuki’s dining room, Yuki herself cleaning up some of the debris, and the other two sitting at the table. Bryan seems hesitant to eat, and as he looks over, he sees Hitachi dig in without hesitation.)

Bryan: Whoa…

Hitachi: [Food in his mouth, eating quickly] What?

Bryan: How can you eat that without worrying if she poisoned it or something?

Hitachi: Eh, food is food. I haven't eaten this good in a few weeks.

Bryan: Yeah, but this girl is kinda crazy…

(Yuki looks back as she was dusting, she is irritated.)


Yuki: I can hear you, jerk.

(Bryan sighs, and starts to eat a bit. As he does, Bryan places his device on the table, and Hitachi notices it.)

Bryan: Hey, why are you even feeding us, anyways? I thought you were going to grill us on how and when you wanted your money, or something like that…

Yuki: Oh, don’t worry. There will be plenty of time for that.

(Bryan shudders.)

Yuki: … I’m not heartless though. You two did save me, so the least I can do is give you a good meal.

(Hitachi bows politely, still eating.)

Bryan: Oh, alright. Well, your welcome miss!

(Bryan starts to rapidly gobble down the food, until he is interrupted by Yuki.)

Yuki: Another ten dollars for the food.

(Bryan can then be seen visablly choking. After this small gag, and after they finish eating, the two are still sitting at the table, as Yuki joins them.)

Yuki: Where the hell did you two even come from anyways?

Bryan: What do ya mean, miss?

Yuki: You do realise I live in the middle of nowhere, right? The closest village is at least 10 or 15 miles out, getting out here by complete chance is kind of hard to believe.

(Bryan sits back and contemplates the question a bit.)

Bryan: Well, I just sort of followed my assignment, and it led me here. I’ve tried hunting down those thugs for awhile now, but I just couldn’t manage to handle all of them…

(Something seems to click in Bryan’s head, and he slams both hands down onto the table, startling Yuki and Hitachi.)

Yuki: Whoa, calm down! Break the table and that’s another 15 do-

Bryan: Miss, I think I have a way to pay you back!

(Yuki seems surprised, and listens.)

Bryan: If we form a rookie party, we can earn money for turning in crooks!

(The room is silent for a few seconds, and then Yuki and Hitachi break the silence in unison.)

Yuki and Hitachi: What?

Bryan: Yeah, if we join together, I think we can eventually pay off our debt within the year! I think it’s a good idea, anyways!

Hitachi: Um… Ok, that’s cool and all, but what is a “Rookie Party”?

(Yuki is also in the shot, thinking/saying the following line under her breath.)

Yuki: (Your the ones in debt… I don’t owe anything.)

Bryan: What? You don’t know what a Rookie Party is? Haven’t you heard of Dragon University?

(Both Hitachi and Yuki shake their heads “no”.)

Bryan: Huh!? How is that even possible!? It’s the number one school for teaching people how to use their Talents, like, for good things and not bad things.

Yuki: Ok, but why would I care?

(Bryan freezes in place, being completely shot down, despite his excitement.)

Hitachi: I’ve heard about it back home, but we don’t really have anything like that out there.

Yuki: Back home?

Hitachi: I used to live in Arcadia for sometime, but I’ve decided to branch out a bit, see the world.

Yuki: Oh, the ice country? How was it?

Hitachi: Well, it’s a lot colder than here, but I was born there, so I was used to it.

(Bryan looks lost for words, staring at the other two.)

Bryan: (They… are completely ignoring me…)

Bryan: Alright, I guess I’ll give you a crash course on how this all works, maybe then you’ll see why I’m so brilliant for coming up with the idea!

Yuki: I don’t think you and “brilliant” really belong together, but sure, go on.

Bryan: (Why is she so mean?!)

(Bryan clears his throat, and then as he explains the following, images of generic students and officers can be seen behind him, for the reader.)

Bryan: Well, as you guys saw out there, people sometimes choose to use their Talents for bad things.

Bryan: Dragon University is dedicated to make sure that people use their Talents for good, and it wants to promote the act of helping others out in the process. Think of it as teaching people how to be a superhero!

Bryan: But to even get into the University, you need to prove yourself. The classes there are rigorous, and the dropout rate is almost half as many kids that get into the school. It’s honestly kind of scary to think about…

Bryan: That’s why you need to show you’ve got what it takes before you can get admitted in.  What people usually do is form small Rookie Parties, typically between three to five people to a party, and take on smaller assignments.

Bryan: These assignments can be anything from doing someone's shopping, to taking on some big bad thugs, like we just did. Usually people will place a request for an assignment into their C.R.O.W, and nearby rookies will receive the call.

(Yuki interrupts Bryan.)

Yuki: Hey, slow down, your saying a whole lot, man…

Hitachi: So can just about anyone take on these odd jobs?

Bryan: Yup! You earn points based on the a few factors, the program considers the person making the request, the request’s urgency, and its threat level. If you earn enough points, eventually you can trade them in for compensation. Stuff like food, money, clothing, the essentials, really. Some people like to make a living off of just being a rookie alone. I guess you’d call veterans to the system Bounty Hunters.

Hitachi: I’m assuming if you stand out enough, the school will scout you, or something like that?

Bryan: Yeah, basically. The system has been around for a few years now, but It’s worked out well. Plus…

(Bryan puts his arm on the back of his neck, and blushes a bit.)

Bryan: I really want to become a student someday.

(Yuki seems unimpressed.)

Yuki: Really? I couldn’t tell… (This kid talks too much…)

(Bryan starts to derail off into a tangent.)

Bryan: Anywho, yeah, it’s a good way to earn some quick cash, and I hear that there are some special classes you can buy your way into. Traveling is easier too, they pay for you to stay overnight in places where your working on longer assignments, and the places you get to go to are incredible! Once I heard that they sent an entire class to-

(Yuki throws a spoon at Bryan’s forehead to shut him up.)

Yuki: You said “Quick Cash”?
(Bryan stops, and nods.)

Yuki: That’s all I needed to hear.

(Yuki gets up, and stretches a bit.)


Yuki: so how does this thing work?

Bryan: Ow… For a rookie team, you need at least three members before you can be considered official.

Yuki: Then I guess I can fill in for one slot, but don’t expect me to do any serious work, I’m only going to keep tabs on you.

(Bryan perks up.)

Bryan: Really! Awesome!

(Bryan turns to Hitachi next, and starts to question him about the team.)

Bryan: And you?

Hitachi: Huh?

Bryan: You should help out too! You said you were trying to see the world, right? Well this is the perfect way! You can help me do some work, and adventure at the same time!

(Hitachi ponders it for a bit, and then looks a little annoyed.)

Hitachi: Yeah but… I don’t really know. I just want to find a place to stay first, really.

Bryan: Why would you need a place to stay if you could stay wherever you wanted? Didn’t you hear me say they pay for your travel costs and give you places to spend the night?


Hitachi: Oh, did you say something like that? Sorry, no offense, but I kind of tuned out midway.

(Bryan, again, is shot down.)

Bryan: You guys are jerks…

Hitachi: I guess I can go along for now then. I do really need a permanent place to stay though.

(Hitachi looks around the room, and then looks over at Yuki.)

Hitachi: Hows about this. I’ll double my debt, but in exchange, when we can fix your home, you have to let me live here with you.

(Yuki and Bryan look a bit surprised.)

Yuki: What? Wouldn’t that be kind of awkward…? Though…

(Yuki turns to ponder.)

Yuki: That’s a lot of money…

Bryan: Is that all you care about…?

Hitachi: Then it’s settled.

(Hitachi gets up, and extends his hand to the other two. The others get up, and all meet in the middle of the room.)

Hitachi: My name is Hitachi Justice. I’m just a wanderer, so there’s not much else I can really say.

Yuki: My name’s Yuki Versai. I’m kind of a shut in, so don’t expect much from me either…

Bryan: And I’m Bryan, Leader of Team Bryan!

(The three place their hands into the middle, and swear to form the team. Yuki and Hitachi are visually annoyed by Bryan.)

Yuki: Team Bryan?

Hitachi: Yeah, no.

Bryan: Aw, was worth a shot…

(The three all part a bit, and get comfortable again.)

Hitachi: So, now what?

Bryan: Well, we need to go and deliver those criminals to the outpost in that Village Yuki was talking about. We should get 30 or 40 points for them, and once we do, we can probably ask around for more work.

Yuki: How much does 30 or 40 points net us in cash?

Bryan: Um… well, lets see…

(Bryan looks visibly distraught.)

Yuki: What is it?

Bryan: Um… to be honest… I’m not really sure.

(Yuki looks annoyed.)

Yuki: You don’t even know how much it pays?

Bryan: Well, up until now, I’ve never actually caught any criminals. To tell you the truth, I’m still pretty new to this stuff as well. I just hang around a lot of people who know what their doing…

(Hitachi sighs, and scratches his head.)

Hitachi: Dumbass… I guess we’ll just have to see when we get there.

Yuki: Well, it’s still early. We should head out soon. I’ve made the trek there a few times, but it’s no walk in the park.

Hitachi: I guess we might not be back here for awhile. Yuki, you should pack everything we might need. I’ll help out. Bryan, go check on the three outside, we should leave within the hour.

Bryan: Huh? Oh, right! Ok, got it!

(Bryan runs outside, and Yuki and Hitachi begin to pack up. They pack two bags, and one suitcase over the course of a few panels, and before they head outside, Yuki pauses.)

Yuki: Hey Hitachi, wait here one sec, I forgot something.

Hitachi: Alright, hurry up though. We don’t want the sun to go down too early on us.

(Yuki proceeds to head down to her basement, where Korace is. She walks over to the fireplace, and gets on her knees, and bows.)

Yuki: Sorry, but I’ll be gone for a bit longer than usual, master.

(The sword seems to glisten through faint sunlight from some cracks made during the fight.)


Yuki: I’ll be back soon.

(Yuki gets up, and begins to walk away, but stops suddenly.)

Korace: I heard what you were discussing. You should bring me with you. This could be dangerous work.

(Yuki doesn't seem to be off putted by the sword, infact, she’s more surprised that it wants to go along.)


Yuki: What? But you said I shouldn’t ever use you unless its an emergency…

Korace: You could have easily lost your life earlier, child. If it hadn’t been for those two, you wouldn’t be here right now. You’ll need to be able to defend yourself, even if that means taking a life.

(Yuki gulps, and walks over to pick Korace off of it’s stand.)

Yuki: Don’t talk too much while your out though, I don’t want to have to explain that you can talk to people all the time.

Korace: Don’t worry, only those that can I deem worthy can hear my voice.

Yuki: Right…

(Suddenly, Hitachi can be heard from the top floor.)


Hitachi: You moron!!!

Yuki: Huh? What’s going on!?

(Yuki takes Korace, her belongings, and runs upstairs. When she arrives, Bryan is bowing on the floor in tears and Hitachi is yelling at him.)

Bryan: I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it!

Yuki: What’s going on? What happened? Did you actually break something else!?


(Hitachi turns to Yuki slowly, seemingly hesitant to tell her.)

Hitachi: This… this idiot…


(Bryan lifts his head dramatically, tears streaming down his face.)

Bryan: The thugs! I let them get away! I’m so sorry Yuki!

(Yuki, normal at first, slowly realises the situation. As she does, within a few panels, her expression changes from concerned, to surprised, to extremely frustrated. A shot of the outside of the wrecked home can be seen as the sun begins to set. Yuki’s scream can be heard for miles.)

Yuki: What!?!?

END



Chapter 3 "Teamwork"

Spoiler

Chapter 3 “Teamwork” Start

(The chapter opens on Yuki and Hitachi walking ahead of Bryan, they have already left on their way into the forest. They are following a linear dirt path, the trees and woodland animals around them all admiring the sun set. Hitachi has all of the equipment tied around him, including his sword, carrying it for the group. Yuki just simply has Korace by her side. Yuki and Hitachi seem highly annoyed, as they walk a good few feet in front of Bryan. Bryan seems upset.)

Bryan: Um… guys?

Yuki: Shut up.

Bryan: But… what are we going to do about-

Hitachi: We aren't on speaking terms.

(Bryan holds his arm in embarrassment and shame, and they continue to walk in silence for a bit.)

Bryan: Shouldn’t we be tracking these guys down?

(Yuki stops, Hitachi takes a few more steps and then turns, and Yuki whips around.)

Yuki: For everytime you speak, for every syllable out of your mouth, I will add one thousand to your debt, are we clear!?

(Bryan shuts up, tears forming on his eyes. Yuki Sighs and continues down the path with the others following.)


Yuki: Besides, we already are tracking them down. This path is barely ever used, and there are faint hints that it was recently used. They are heading down this way.

(Hitachi stretches his neck out a bit, and looks over at Yuki.)

Hitachi: Well, they probably won’t be moving all night, I think it’s ok if we stop soon too. Besides, all of this gear is kind of getting heavy, even for me.

Yuki: Right. Let’s give it another hour, then we’ll settle.

(Hitachi seems disappointed and exhausted.)

Hitachi: ( A whole hour…?)

Yuki: By the way, we should probably discuss how we’ll go about this.

Hitachi: You mean how we will catch the thugs?

Yuki: Yeah, We kind of just acted on instinct and adrenaline back at (Turns to face Bryan) what used to be my place.

(Bryan winces.)

Hitachi: Well, first we should go over our tactics. I couldn’t really tell from inside, how do you two go about combat?

(Yuki brings her sword up a bit to draw attention to it.)

Yuki: I fight with my Katana, although I’ve rarely ever had to use it on actual people.

Hitachi: What’s your Talents? Mine is Strength, it’s why I can carry all of this with relative ease. I also fight with a sword, mines a bit heavier than yours though.

(Yuki walks ahead, in silence, staring at her feet.)

Hitachi:...?

Bryan: My Talent is also Strength! Though I prefer to punch people right in the face! Honestly, I prefer it to using any kind of-

(Hitachi nods his head towards Yuki, and Bryan looks over, both are concerned.)

Yuki: I’m… not really sure, to be honest....

(Hitachi and Bryan stop, and Yuki turns to them, a little embarrassed.)

Hitachi: Wait, are you telling me you don’t know what your Talent is?

Bryan: Huh!? How can you not know? Didn’t you go to school?

Yuki: Um… No. Actually, I’ve lived out by myself for a really long time. I only see other people’s Talents in action rarely when I have to go shopping in the village...

Hitachi: Where’s your family? You must have somebody who’s at least raised you.

(Yuki grips Korace, and looks down. She bites her lip.)

Yuki: No… I don’t really have anyone like that.

(Hitachi and Bryan look at each other, and the Bryan sighs.)

Bryan: Well, don’t worry Miss Yuki! You got us now!

(Yuki looks surprised for a second, but then heel turns back to her previous demeanor, though she is blushing through it.)

Yuki: Shut up.

Bryan: Jeez, just trying to be nice…

(The scene changes to night fall, and the three have set up camp on the side of the path, in a small opening in the forest. Hitachi is sitting on a rock, his eyes closed, as if he is contemplating something. Bryan is messing around on his C.R.O.W near a fire they made, and Yuki is polishing Korace on the opposite side of the fire. Hitachi looks over at Yuki as she’s cleaning.)

Hitachi: (I guess it’s because I’m in a similar situation… but… She's definitely lying to us. I find it hard to believe she would have these kinds of social skills if she lived by herself. Not to mention her house.)

(Hitachi closes his eyes, and sighs to himself.)

Hitachi: (I’m not really in a position to judge her though... so I’ll keep it to myself, for now.)

(Yuki looks over at Bryan, who is still messing with his device. She looks curiously, and eventually notices.)

Bryan: Uh… you good?

Yuki: What are you doing?

Bryan: Hm? I’m just checking if there’s any requests posted. We are out in the middle of nowhere, so I’m not surprised that I’m not really finding anything.

(Bryan continues to tap on the screen, and Yuki leans over a bit to look. She clearly is interested in it.)


Yuki: So… is this that Bird thing you were talking about back at my place?

Byran: A… C.R.O.W?

(Bryan tries not to laugh, but bursts out hysterically.)

Bryan: A “Bird thing”? Come on Yuki, everyone knows what a C.R.O.W is!

(Yuki tilts her head, and Hitachi chimes in.)

Hitachi: Actually, I’m just as curious as she is. How do those things work?

(Bryan looks at the two, smiling at first, but then realises they aren't joking.)

Bryan: Oh my god… you guys are serious…

(Yuki seems a bit annoyed.)

Yuki: Just tell us what it is already.

(Bryan looks perplexed, but clears his throat.)

Bryan: Well, this is a C.R.O.W. It’s what rookies and students use to communicate with the school. It’s also how you can keep track of your assignments. Everyone back home has one of these… I guess I’m just not used to people not knowing what it is… my bad…

(Bryan sulks down, feeling bad for how he reacted. Yuki gets closer, and examines the C.R.O.W up close, while it’s still in Bryan’s hand.)

Yuki: So… you can get requests this way? Where would me and Hitachi get one?

Bryan: Huh? Well, you guys can probably buy one at the outpost. People break theirs all the time, so they make sure to keep outposts stocked. As long as you know your information, you can log into your account from any C.R.O.W.

Hitachi: What does C.R.O.W stand for? I noticed that the letters were printed on the back as if it was an abbreviation.

Bryan: Hmm… I think it’s “C”ather, “R”ecruit, “O”rganize, and “W”in?

Yuki: “Gather” is spelt with a “G”, not a “C”...

Hitachi: So you don’t know?

(Bryan smiles a bit, and answers bluntly.)

Bryan: Yeah, I didn’t really pay attention when my friend handed me one. I just got so pumped to actually start taking on requests that I just rushed the exchange so I could get to work.

Hitachi: Whatever, as long as you know how to use it, I don’t really care.

(A shot is shown of the three chatting from a distance. The scene then fades away, and changes to Yuki sleeping, in the middle of the night. She slowly opens her eyes as she hears a faint noise from a distance away. She raises herself up, and looks around. Hitachi is sitting by a tree, asleep, with his sword by his side, his cloak being used as a blanket. Bryan is nowhere to be seen. Yuki rubs her eyes, and looks around for him, but then hears a noise coming from deeper in the forest. She slowly sneaks towards the noise, and, after stopping behind a tree, sees Bryan, his shirt and Bandana off, and he his punching the air, training. His C.R.O.W is lying on a nearby stump, on.)

Yuki: (Whoa… doesn't this kid ever take a break? Maybe I should try and scare him or something.)

(As Yuki makes a movement to move closer, she's hears an unfamiliar voice, and hides again quickly. She then notices the sound is coming from the C.R.O.W.)

???: So what did you call me so late for? I’m a busy man you know…

(Bryan is punching the air, out of breath, but still conversing.)

Bryan: Just wanted to let you know that I may not be home anytime soon. I met some great people today!

???: So you’re going to stay with complete strangers? Works for me, I hate cooking for you anyways, you lazy bum.

(The screen shows a man in a lab coat in a swivel chair, contemplating something as he talks to Bryan. He has a lot of medicine and notes scattered about his office.)

???: Though, I’m curious. What spurred this on? It’s not really like you to stay away from here for so long.

Bryan: I think… I finally found my team.

(The man perks up in curiosity.)

???: Oh? Well, that was sudden, huh?

(The man presses his hand against his stubble, and seems relieved of something.)

???: Bout time… I’m happy for you.

Bryan: Yeah, I figured you would be, Doc. I’ll keep you posted!

???: I’ll be rooting you on. Go show the world your passion. I’ll keep you posted on my research as well.

(The scene now shows the tree Yuki was hiding behind. It is empty, and a few feet away, she is walking away, with a faint, warm smile on her face. After one final wide shot of the forest at night, the scene switches to morning, as they are packing up to hit the path again. Hitachi is cleaning up the fire place as Yuki and Bryan chat.)

Yuki: Just so we’re clear, I still don’t like you.

(Bryan rubs his eyes.)

Bryan: Yuki, I just got up… Really?

Yuki: Yes.

Hitachi: Well, if we are going to be a team, you two need to get along more. If not, we’re just going to trip over ourselves all the time.

Yuki:[Sighing] He’s right. I guess I’ll pretend to like you.

(Yuki smiles towards Bryan, half assed.)

Yuki: How’s this?

Byran: … your like… the worst. You know that?

( Some time passes as the three continue to walk down the road together.)


Yuki: Hey, Hitachi. Can I ask you something?

Hitachi: Sure, anything to break the silence I guess.

Yuki: How did you manage to get mixed up with that group? I know you must have come in with them. It sounded like they knew you.

Bryan: Huh? Hitachi was with those thugs?

Hitachi: Well, they took me in for about a day, said they had some place to sleep at night and I wasn’t really in a position to turn that down.

Bryan: Wait, doesn't that make you a criminal?!

Yuki: He was just trying to get a place to spend the night, Bryan. If everyone who needed a place to sleep was a criminal, that would make the three of us all criminals as well.

(Bryan freezes up, as if the concept finally clicked.)


Bryan: Oh wow, never thought of it like that before!

Hitachi: You actually have thoughts?

(Yuki chuckles a bit, as Bryan yells at Hitachi. As the three chat, a silhouette can be made out from the the forest, watching them.)

Korace: Yuki, to your right…

(Yuki is caught off guard by Korace, and halts suddenly. Hitachi and Bryan do the same, and look at her.)

Hitachi: What is it now? Did you see something?

Yuki: Uh… Yeah, I think there’s something over there we should check out.

(Yuki turns to the right, and the three notice the silhouette, who is now running deep into the forest after being spotted. Bryan freaks out, and Hitachi grips his sword.)

Bryan: Whoa, creepy! Who was that!?

Hitachi: If I head to guess, our target.

(Hitachi starts running after the figure, Yuki and Bryan follow suit close behind. Eventually, they find themselves deep in the forest, looking around for a trail or hint of their stalker.)

Hitachi: *censored*, I lost him… Did you guys see where he went?

Korace: Tell them to check from the top of the trees. If there is a clearing nearby, it’s likely their hideout.

(Yuki looks down at Korace for a second, and then up at Bryan. Hitachi notices.)

Yuki: Try seeing if you can spot anything from that tree Bryan.

(Yuki points up to one of the nearby trees. Bryan nods, and starts to climb his way up there. Hitachi seems to be catching onto something, but doesn't say anything. As Bryan reaches the top, he shouts down to the others.)


Bryan: There’s smoke coming from… it looks like a bit further east from here! I don’t think it’s the village, too small. What do you think?

Hitachi: Well, Yuki?

Yuki: Huh? Well… It’s probably their hideout… or at the very least where they are camped out for now. We should try and scope it out.

Hitachi: Well put. Alright, let’s get going. Keep a low profile. [Hitachi looks over at Bryan as he gets down from the tree] Especially you Bryan, you talk loud.

(Bryan seems annoyed by that remark. The three sneak their way through the bushes and trees, and eventually they are right by the clearing where the three thugs are set up. Thugs 1 and 2 are eating some meat by a small table, while Thug 3 is scavenging through supplies by a tent.)

Yuki: You know, now that I think about it, I’m honestly surprised Bryan knew which direction East was.

(Hitachi tries not to laugh, and motions for Yuki to be quiet. Bryan seems annoyed, but simply sighs. They eavesdrop on the three. Thug 1 is cleaning his knife, and Thug 2 is chowing down.)

Thug 1: So, any words from the higher ups? I just want to get paid already…

Thug 2: [While chewing] They said funds been tight since security round the big city is really buckling down. We’ll have to go there ourselves, or we can wait for them to send a scout.

Thug 1: Ugh, them damn scouts take forever though, we’d starve before then. Man, If I was the head of this gang, I’d make sure there were small little hideouts all around the country, and funnel money that way.

Thug 2: Listen, if you were actually good at comin’ up with stuff, you wouldn’t be stealin’ from some suckers on the street. Shut up and eat already.

Thug 1: Tch.

(The two eat away, and Thug 3 brings out a few bags from the tent.)


Thug 3: The couple we drove out of here wasn’t really packing much. I only found a few valuables in there. Best I found was a small pocket watch.

Thug 1: What do you expect? They were just a couple of hikers, why would they pack more than they need?

Thug 2: Better then nothing I guess, the watch will buy us a few more days, at most.

(The three behind the cover discuss their plan.)

Hitachi: We need to catch them off guard. We don’t want to give them a chance to act.

Yuki: Yeah… Also, they may have something like the C.R.O.W to call back up, so we should make sure to prevent that.

(Bryan looks over at the tent, and sees Thug 3 looking at a picture he found.)

Thug 3: Damn, makes me sick how happy these people are.

Thug 2: Whatcha got there?

Thug 3: Some photo, just junk.

(Thug 3 drops the photo on the ground, and smirks. He then stomps on it with his heel, glass shattering, and ruining the photograph.)

Thug 3: Oops.

(The other thugs laugh, and the picture is revealed to show the couple, a man and women, with a young boy and girl in the middle of the photo. Only Bryan’s lower face is shown, but it’s clear something snapped.)

Hitachi: Alright, we can each take one. I’ll take the older one, as I think my sword can knock him down easier. Bryan can take the man with the knife, and Yuki can take the clay one. If your quick on your feet Yuki, you can dodge or deflect those shots. They don’t come out that quick, so it should be doable.

Yuki: Understood. What should Bryan do about the knife?

Hitachi: Hmmm, Bryan, have you ever fought someone with a weapon like-

(Hitachi stares behind Yuki, mortified. Yuki seems concerned, and turns to see Bryan is nowhere to be found. [ Note to artist - You can draw a dotted outline of where Bryan was, for comedic effect] The two look beyond that, to see Bryan rushing out of the cover, and screaming at the top of his lungs. His tone is different from before. He is much more serious.)

Bryan: I’m going to kick your asses!

(Thugs 1 and 2 jump up from their seats, and Thug 3 drops what he’s carrying. Yuki pulls her hair, and Hitachi smacks his forehead. During the next thought, show a full page of Bryan breaking out of cover, in a grand entrance.)


Yuki and Hitachi : (Bryan, you dumbass!!!)

(Bryan rushes towards Thug 3, and attempts to punch him right in the gut. Thug 3 braces for impact, and guards the attack with one arm, and smacks Bryan away with the other. Thug 3 is much taller and broader then Bryan. Bryan gets up, wipes away a scratch on his cheek from being hit, and attempts the same thing again.)

Thug 3: Damn brat, how haven’t you given up yet!?

(Instead of messing with Bryan this time, Thug 3’s arm transforms into a metal like material, and he strikes down Bryan in a single blow, directly to the top of his head. Bryan loses consciousness for a split second, as it’s clear that his hurt a lot. The Talent panel reads “Talent: Metal Morph.” as Thug 3 stares menacingly at the boy he just struck down. As Bryan falls, the panel reflects the blurry vision Bryan has. His entire head rattles, and his eyes start to fade as he falls. At this point, Yuki and Hitachi leap out, and the other two thugs are caught off guard. Hitachi reaches out completely with his sword, striking Thug 1 in the gut, and sending him flying off of his feet. Yuki unsheathes Korace, and before Thug 2 can shoot any clay, Yuki throws Korace’s sheath at his face. The thug reacts by smacking the sheath away, but as he does, Yuki has gotten too close, and she is able to smack him in the face with the hilt. Unlike with the first time she did this though, Thug 2 regains his footing, and creates a bar of clay. He swings it into Yuki’s stomach like a bat, and she falls to her knees, coughing. Hitachi looks over at Yuki, concerned.)

Hitachi: Crap, Yuki! Hold on, I’ll-

(Hitachi suddenly freezes up as Thug 3 stands over him. Thug 3 picks Hitachi up by his head, with his metal arm, and starts to crush him.)

Thug 3: looks fellas, looks like I caught us a rat!

(Hitachi screams in pain, as shots of Bryan struggling to get up and Yuki regaining her breath are shown. Thug 2 walks over to Yuki, laughing at them while he strolls over.)

Thug 2: You guys are pushing your luck. You only beat us before because we were careless. Sorry, but this is goodbye... for good.

(While Yuki is on her knees, barely breathing, Thug 2 kicks Yuki’s chin with full force, sending her flying a few feet. She lands on her back with a loud thud, and she drops Korace a few feet away. Hitachi struggles helplessly, but he manages to elbow Thug 3 in the nose, and free himself, but he takes a second to grasp his head, now bleeding.)


Hitachi: God dammit… what the hell are we doing!?

(Before the chapter closes out, the final page shows a splitting shot of all six fighters. There are five flashes at the top of the page of Yuki [Gritting her teeth in pain], Bryan [He can’t seem to gain his balance, and can’t seem to see straight], Thug 1 [Preparing his knife], Thug 2 [Still has his leg in the air, smirking cockily], and Thug 3 [Cracking his metal knuckles, his free arm is also mid transformation]. A final panel towards the bottom shows a close up of Hitachi’s face, blood pouring down past his eyes.)

Hitachi: We need to get out *censored* together… and quick!

END



(Vol. 1 Continued in a separate post!!)

I would normally follow up the scripts with the artwork for the characters, but they tend to crowd up the forum, so if your interested in their designs, take a peek at our facebook, or just ask!

2
Manga Creations / Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« on: October 29, 2017, 11:18:54 PM »
[Chapter 1 Post + Introduction]

UPDATE (12/12/17) {~ Happy Holidays ~}

Hey everyone! My names Nathan L. and I'm the author behind Dragon Universe, my current manga project. My team of artists and I have been working diligently for the past year to start this series up, so hopefully you all enjoy it!

A few notes you should keep in mind before you read:

1. The scripts posted here are bit unprofessional, and I realize that. They are written both like a script and with notes all over. I was going to clean it up, but I figured I'd keep it as is. I've found that using this format helps the artists understand more about how to draw the pages, so I thought I'd show you all the full process of how we get that done to help out any future mangaka, if that makes any sense :P. (as a side note, I have removed anything that might spoil later plot points, but besides that most of my work is there. By spoil, I mean anything the reader is not intended to know about while reading the finished product, none of the story was altered, just side notes.)

2. We currently have up to chapter 6 completely edited and finished, with chapters 7 - 55 written up (With notes and some unfinished bits.) If we can get a few people reading along, I'd love to post the scripts here as I finish :D

3. We have tons of artwork and pages done for the manga, If your interested in our work, and are curious what our characters look and interact like, please feel free to look us up on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dragon-Universe-171809216719052/?ref=bookmarks
Please note that most of our pages are not there, we are waiting until we officially release the manga to show off our hard work to the public! That being said, all of our character designs and concept art is there, which there are a ton of.

4. All comments and criticism is greatly appreciated. there's no point in writing this story if no one enjoys it! We want to make this a great experience, so any feedback you have, please leave so we can review it. Thanks in advance!

- Notice: We are currently looking for volunteers to read through the finalized first chapter, manga pages and all! This is to help us quality check our work. To participate in this, please contact me here or via my email (on my profile page.) You will be required to have a Discord account to be able to discuss with the team live, and have some free time for us to pull you aside and ask some questions. Thank you in advance to any Voluteers~! -

Spoiler
Chapter 1 “DREAM” Start

(The chapter opens on a little girl sitting in a field of flowers. The art style resembles that of a little kid coloring with crayons. The little girl is resembling a younger Yuki. Yuki is looking around the field, picking up flowers as she goes. After a few panels of her picking flowers, a grey fog starts to creep up from behind her. Once it moves past her face, she slowly turns around. As she's turning around I believe three small panels in a row with an intensifying light will work, as her expression changes to show disbelief. Once she's fully turned around, a whole page should be dedicated to her standing, facing a mansion that is lit up in horrifying flames. Yuki should seem small compared to the mansion and flames. The next panel should show the flames in her eyes, and with a close up of her eyes reveal a figure standing in the flames. The view should flip to her perspective, slowly zooming into a sinister looking figure (Make sure he has distorted looking, spiky hair. He should also have something resembling a chain coming from his pocket attaching to his waist) facing sides ways, his hand facing upwards and out stretched. Once he is in close enough view, show him turning his head only towards Yuki, pulling his hand a bit closer to himself. Then, he smiles wickedly with two, distinctive red eyes shining directly at the reader and Yuki, clenching his hand into a fist, flames bursting out from inside the fist. His head should also be slightly tilted.)

“DREAM” End

Real Chapter 1 “Yuki” Start

(The chapter opens up on Yuki slowly opening her good eye (Her bad one isn’t shown until she's putting on her eyepatch, and when it's shown it's closed.) She rubs her bad eye with her arm, still lying down.)

Yuki: (That dream… Why, after all these years, does it still haunt me…?)

(Yuki starts to sit up in bed. She yawns, and gets out of bed. She walks over to her mirror, showing herself in a long White T shirt and black shorts on. Next to her mirror is a plain bust of a face with her eyepatch on it, so she grabs it and puts it on.)

Yuki: (It’s been almost 9 years... Since the fire. You’d think rebuilding the entire place would rid me of those memories…)

(The next few scenes show her brushing her teeth, brushing her messy hair, making a coffee in a huge kitchen, and sitting down, sipping the coffee. By the next time we see her, she switched out her shorts for casual, comfy jogging pants. She goes outside to a courtyard built into the middle of the Mansion, and waters a few flowers that are growing in a garden. She then goes back inside, stretches and yawns, grabs a bag of chips and slouches down onto a fancy couch in front of a TV.)

Yuki: (But whatever. I need to stop thinking the same thoughts everyday, I need something new in my life... Something that will get my mind off it.)

(She turns on the TV with a remote that was on the couch already, and it opens to a news story.)

News Reporter: Sadly, the situation is only getting worse. There seems to be no end to this new crime wave, with every passing day the crime rate must be sky rocketing. On the scene right now is our action reporter.

(the scene on the screen switches to a man in a suit outside of a shop. The glass of the shop’s windows seem to have been bashed in, with graffiti sprayed all over the building.)

Action reporter: Thanks. As you can see here, a local, small shop has been ravaged and cleaned out by a new crime syndicate. On the shop's back wall, it appears the gangsters have left some sort of call sign. (The Tv now shows a wall with the word “ClaW” Written in graffiti across the whole wall. The W in Claw Is made of three claw marks (\I/ <- Like that )) Besides that, there seems to be no trace of the vandalizers. If anyone watching knows anything about this incident, please, inform your local Police Station or Patrolling Officers asap. The rebuilding of our nation can only start with yo-

(The screen shuts off with a flash, with remote in hand, Yuki Sighs.)

Yuki: (Jeez. It seems everyone's getting in on the whole crime thing. I wonder how much I could make doing something like that? I’m sure they need someone with a Talent like mine...)

(Yuki giggles to herself, and gets up from the couch. She then shakes a near empty bag of potato chips.)

Yuki: ( Ugh. I guess I need to go and get some more snacks. I’m running low again…)

(Yuki tosses the now empty bag of chips on a nearby table, which is piled with some other trash and food wrappings. She picks up her coat which was thrown on a chair near the table and heads for the door. She can be seen before the scene switches from the outside of the Mansion, a front on view of the whole thing as she leaves it. It looks in almost perfect condition, but clearly shows she's wealthy. Around her are woods, and in front of her is a dirt road. The scene now switches to a scene in a forest. The sun is shining through the trees, and a boy with a brownish cloak is walking down a dirt path. On his back, he has something huge tied and hidden away with white tape. The item is strapped around him like a sash, and seems to be a large, long rectangle. The boy has his face revealed after a panel or two, showing Hitachi. He continues walking for a bit, when, suddenly, a thug with a bandanna around his mouth walks out from behind a tree. The man has his hands in his pockets, and he confronts Hitachi from a distance.)

Thug: Hey, punk. I’ll have you know, this here is my turf. What brings yeh to this neck of da woods?

(Hitachi doesn't answer)

Thug: Hey, pal, I asked you a question. Or would you rather ...cut... to the chase?

(The thug pulls out a pocket knife from his pocket, and flips it open, showing it off. Again, Hitachi says nothing. This time, he takes a single step back, though.)

Thug: I want all yer valuables. Drop what you got and scram before I hav’ta use this… (Spins the knife around.)

Hitachi: Sir. Please move out of the way. You're annoying.

Thug: What? Kid, are you trying to smart mouth me? Ima make your cocky ass regret it!

(The thug rushes at Hitachi, with his knife pulled back, ready to stab Hitachi full force. Around  half a foot away from him, Hitachi suddenly ducks down, grabs the item off his back, and swings it at the Thug full force. This hits the Thug, sending him flying, back first, into a tree. He slams into it, and falls flat on his face. The scene now shows the bandages/ tape falling off of Hitachi’s item, which turned out to be his sword. By this point, his hood has fallen off, fully revealing his face and hair. The scene should show an emphasis on the sword, but still have Hitachi in the shot as he says this next line.)

Hitachi: What did I tell you? I swear, some people just don’t listen…

(The scene switches back to Yuki, who is now walking down a crowded sidewalk. The area around her is a city, with huge skyscrapers and shops all over the place. It should look like a typical busy city, think New York or Tokyo. She stops in front of a small store, which sticks out a bit more then the buildings around it. It is a medium sized convenience store called “Quick Zip’s”. She walks in, the doors sliding open on their own as she enters. She is sort of slouched over, with her coat covering her mouth. The store clerk, a man around his early twenties waves to Yuki.)

Clerk: Well, if it isn’t our favorite customer. Sup, Yuki!

(Yuki waves with a half assed smile, then walks to an aisle lined with potato chips. As she looks over the selection, another customer walks in. This one looks a bit rough, a sweatshirt with his hood pulled over and a bit of a beard growing on his face. He is around his forties. He checks around, not noticing Yuki, then goes straight for the counter where the clerk is. He slams his fist down on the counter, and pulls out a gun from underneath his sweatshirt.)

Thief: Open the register. NOW.

(The clerk is in shock, and he hesitates to open the register.)

Clerk: S-Sir. Please, there's no need for-

Thief: I said NOW.

(Yuki peaks from behind a shelf and sees the man, but her expression is still her usual moody self. She sighs, then walks over to the thief. The thief jolts around, and points the gun at her, startled.)

Thief: Who?! Hey, get on the ground kid! I’m not playing, I’ll *censored*ing kill you!

(Yuki stares at him for a second, then sighs. She then stares at the Thief with a serious expression.)

Yuki: Dude, if you were gonna shoot me, you would have done it already. No need to fool yourself.

Thief: Wha-

(Yuki looks to her left and lifts up a broom that was leaning against the wall. The Thief walks up to her, the gun trained on her head.)

Thief: Don’t you play games with me, you little bitch-

(At the word “Bitch”, Yuki swings the broom, bashing it against the head of the Thief. He goes flying, letting go of the gun and smashes into a shelf at the other end of the store. Yuki stares him down while he twitches, unable to get up.)

Yuki: Before you continue that sentence, I’d like you to ask yourself who the bitch here really is.

(Yuki turns to the shocked clerk, and sighs.)

Yuki: You guys out of Salt and Vinegar chips again?

(The clerk slowly shakes his head “yes”.)

Yuki: Figures. Well I guess I’ll just grab a chocolate bar or something…

(The scene now shows Yuki, with her coat slightly unzipped, with the chocolate in her mouth, her hands in her pockets, walking home. Then it shows cops rushing past her, heading to the store.)

Yuki: (That man asked me to stay and explain what happened… but…)

(A panel shows the clerk trying to explain to the cops as they handcuff the Thief.)

Yuki: (What's the point? I mean, it's not like there was anything in it for me. Anyone could have stopped that nobody. Everyone's Talent is good for that much, at least I’d hope so.)

(Yuki looks at her right hand as she walks and thinks to herself.)

Yuki: (Honestly, I hate Talents. If they didn’t exist, everyone wouldn’t be so special, so the people with real talent could shine instead of being left in the dust.)

(A brief description of Talents is on the side of this panel, perhaps a Chibi Yuki speaking?)

Brief Description: For the uninitiated, Talents are the special, unique traits almost every individual is born with, thanks to help from the Talent Tree! It can range anywhere from super speed to breathing fire! Stay tuned later for a more in-depth description.

(As Yuki is thinking to herself, a figure rushes past her, brushing her as they dash by, making her drop her chocolate. She turns and looks towards them somewhat startled, Showing Bryan running towards the crime scene. For a second she stares in shock, then looks down to see her chocolate wasted.)

Yuki: (What the…) Hey, watch where you're going, asshole!

(Bryan completely ignores her, screeching to a halt and turning to look inside the shop. He moves back a bit as the criminal is pushed out of the shop, and dragged off by the police. The panel of Bryan speaking should focus on him a bit because it's his first appearance.)

Bryan: Aw, I missed the action… where the hell are the Officers?

(Yuki stomps over to him and places her hand on his shoulder, extreamly pissed.)

Yuki: You see what I did to that guy? (Points towards the thief, being dragged off.)

Bryan: Huh? Wait, you stopped that guy!? I haven't seen you around befo-

(Bryan quickly shuts up as her grip tightens.)

Yuki: If you don’t buy me a new chocolate bar for the one you just made me drop, I’m going to pulverise you the same way.

Bryan: Uh… what chocolate?

(Yuki points to the bar, melting away on the cement of the sidewalk.)

Bryan: Wha- Oh jeez did I run into you or something?! Sorry, I always seem to be doing stuff like-

(Yuki raises her other hand in a fist and gets ready to punch Bryan.)

Yuki: New Bar. Now.

Bryan: Ok, ok! I get it! Just calm down, chick!

(Yuki pushes Bryan against his will into the store, and then the scene switches again to Hitachi, with his hood now off and sword unsheathed and planted firmly into the ground, leaning against a tree. He is a few feet from a tree with the Thug, tied down with the bandages/ tape that was on his sword.)

Hitachi: So, you know where the nearest village or town is?

Thug: Why should I tell you?!

(Hitachi’s eyes narrow, giving the Thug a death stare.)

Hitachi: Because if you don’t, I’m going to bash your skull in with a single swing, and nobody will know where I hid your corpse.

(The Thug, about to *censored* himself, gulps.)

Thug: Alright, alright! You're about a good mile from the nearest City. Its Toaru. You know the place?

HItachi: No, I don’t. What can I find there?

Thug: Well, it’s pretty big. Tons of shops and stuff. It’s famous for being right next to the University.

(Hitachi’s eyebrows raise slightly)

Hitachi: The one for the military?

Thug: Yeah, that's the one. I’d be careful, they have Officers patrolling those streets 24/7. If they even get a quick glance at that sword of yours, you can consider yourself screwed.

Hitachi: Right. Thanks, I’ll take note of that. Welp, that’s all I needed, I’ll be going now.

(Hitachi pulls up his sword with ease, and carries it as he walks away. The thug turns around with an expression that says “Are you serious?”)

Thug: Uh, Hey kid. You're gonna untie me, right?

(Hitachi stops and looks back.)

Hitachi: Eh, not feeling it. What's in it for me?

(The Thug’s jaw drops)

Thug: What do you mean “What's in it for me?” !? Just let me go already!

Hitachi: Hm… Oh, I know. You’ll be my escort.

(The Thug is then dumbstruck)

Thug: … huh?

(The scene switches to back to Yuki and Bryan, Yuki is opening a new chocolate bar, and Bryan is looking at her like shes crazy.)

Bryan: You do realise you threatened a dude you’ve never met before over chocolate, right?

(Yuki gives Bryan a very serious look, similar to Hitachi’s death stare.)

Yuki: It’s more than chocolate. It’s MY chocolate, making it all the more valuable.

Bryan: … you're weird.

Yuki: And you're rude. We can keep going all day dude.

(Bryan sighs, then looks back at the shop.)

Bryan: So were you the one who stopped that guy, or not?

Yuki: Hm? (Chocolate in her mouth.)

Bryan: The criminal, from earlier.

Yuki: Yeah. He was trying to act tough so I kicked his ass.

Bryan: Damn… are you a new Patrol Officer that transferred or something?

Yuki: What?

Byran: You know, you a Soldier? I feel like I would have seen you before, but maybe not. It is a pretty big city.

Yuki: Oh, like one of those military kids? Nah, I just go with the flow. Screw school.

Bryan: What?! But you clearly have an awesome Talent if you were able to stop that guy! You should apply!

Yuki: There's nothing special about it. It’s just some simple Strength. See?

(Yuki takes out a coin, and flips it with her pointer finger and thumb. It sky rockets into the air, and goes out of view for a bit. Bryan is in awe, and Yuki catches the coin as it shoots back to the ground.)

Yuki: Don’t you need some weird Talent to get into it?

Bryan: Well, that's not necessarily true. Even if it's just strength, it's how you use it that counts! Hey, I’m actually going to be applying soon myself, we should do it together! We would probably end up in the same test, but that only adds to the fun.

Yuki: There's a test for something like that? I never would have guessed- Hey wait, I don’t care! I’m not gonna sign up for it. It's a waste of time!

Bryan: Huh? You do something besides threaten people over chocolate?

(Yuki scratches her head for a second.)

Yuki: Well… No, I guess I just relax at home all day... But so what?

Bryan: Oh come on, aren't you bored?! Think of all the cool stuff you could do as an Officer!

Yuki: Like? Last time I checked they are just younger, glorified cops.

Bryan: Miss, you got yourself some learning to do. Listen, I’ve got to start heading home, but I want to convince you to sign up with me, so lets chat for a bit.

Yuki: Ugh...

(The scene switches to Hitachi and the Thug walking through the woods, conversing.)

Hitachi: So, what were you really doing out here.

Thug: What do ya mean?

Hitachi: I doubt you planned to rob people by yourself. Where's the rest of your group.

Thug: To be honest, scattered all over the forest. I’m part of this gang ran by this dude named Emilio, never met the guy, but I was invited to the group and decided I needed the cash. What's your story kid? Not everyday I meet a kid with crazy Talent like yours.

Hitachi: I’m just a runaway. Hated my parents, so I’m just trying to find a place to fit in. So far, not really working out.

Thug: With that strength, I’m surprised you didn’t just kill ‘em. You got guts kid.

Hitachi: I never said I didn’t respect them. I just hated them. I had no reason to harm them, so I just got up and left.

Thug: Well, If you need, I’m sure we got room for a dude like you. What do yah say?

Hitachi: Thanks, I’ll keep the offer in mind, but I like to keep a low profile. Actually, My plan for blending in was going to try and apply to that school you mentioned earlier. They got dorms for kids who don’t got places to spend the night, free food and shelter never hurt anybody. I’ll just drop out when I find something better.

Thug: Hmm, I see. Well, I guess that makes us enemies.

Hitachi: We weren't already?

Thug: Heh, guess your right. What's your name, kid? I’ll be sure to keep a look out for you.

Hitachi: Hitachi Justice. And I’ll try and follow your little crime syndicate as well. Who knows, maybe we'll run into each other some time.

(The scene ends with the backs of the characters on the path towards the city, in the forest. The scene switches back to Yuki and Bryan, sitting together outside the shop on a bench nearby.)

Yuki: You really want me to sign up that bad, huh?

(Bryan nods, with a determined face on)

Bryan: You seriously have some skill. The school could use people like you. Lets meet at the schools gates when the next exam rolls around next month.

Yuki:... Fine. I guess I can try it. But I still think it's stupid.

(Bryan grins stupidly as he fist bumps the air)

Bryan: Awesome! By the way miss, the names Bryan. Yours?

Yuki: Yuki. Yuki Versai.

Bryan: Well then, Yuki, I guess I’ll see you in a month! Don't skimp out on me!

Yuki: Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, I really don't have much else to occupy my time. I'll be there.

(Bryan gets up, stretches, and walks off. Yuki simply watches as he walks away. She is holding an empty chocolate bar wrapper in her hands.)

Yuki: (What a weird kid…)

(A clock in a nearby park starts to ring, and Yuki looks as if she forgot something.)

Yuki: *censored*! My Train!

(Yuki bolts in the opposite direction of Bryan.)

END CHAPTER


3
  As for payment, seeing as this would be both a passion project and long term project (read the post to understand where I'm coming from), I would prefer splitting the money made by publishing/ selling/ general revenue 50/50. I would prefer not to pay up front, mainly because I've only recently got a part time job after school and I'm saving towards college (I'm in all advanced and honors courses, btw).
 I have around 4 years of experience with writing professionally. I've written an animated show for Braydoi on youtube (Soon to air, if you want scripts from the show, which there are currently 19, to see my style, let me know) and I've written one manga (Around 13 chapters long) which is being inked at the time of this post. I've also done commissions and odd jobs here and there. I'm posting here because I've had an idea for a manga that could be a bit daunting for those on Deviant Art (Where I usually post and get my jobs). What I'm trying to get across is that I'm a hard worker and I take my job seriously (I'm friendly though :P)
 I want to finally start work on my dream manga, one similar to the juggernauts that are One Piece, Dragon Ball, Soul Eater, Etc. My manga would, preferably, be long running. I already have tons (And I mean 100s of papers worth) of ideas, characters, arcs, world building, you name it I probably wrote it. I'm very lenient when it comes to the art style, as long as it can be easily adaptable to action scenes (AKA no romance styled characters, that really wouldn't work) However I would prefer to work with someone who is willing to pour a lot of time, effort, and love into this project. I don't mind if your a veteran when it comes to this type of style, or still learning. As long as your dedicated and willing to put in the time, I'd be glad to work with you (I've worked with a ton of "Budding" artists in the past. For the record, all have said I was awesome :3)
 I don't want to make this longer than it has to be, so a brief run down of the manga will suffice here, and if your interested you can email me (It should be on my profile page) or comment to learn more. It is heavily inspired by Soul Eater and My Hero Academia (For full disclosure, I came up with my ideas before I even knew what MHA was :P) The main plot would be based on the adventures of a class of elite students/ soldiers who fight to keep the peace. Similar to Quirks from MHA, A lot of the students have special ability or attributes, however there are only a few main "talents" , with variations branching off from there. Their class, appropriately named The Black Ops, works differently from the normal studying and training the other students in the school endure. They are assigned one or two missions (Recon, Assassination, Escort, Etc.) a week, and they must complete them to earn their grades. There is a lot of character building, for both the main characters, teachers, and villains, and the world building is good too! If any of this rambling has peaked you interest, trust me I'd be more than happy to explain this in further depth if you contact me.
 As for payment, seeing as this would be both a passion project and long term project, I would prefer splitting the money made by publishing/ selling/ general revenue 50/50. I would prefer not to pay up front, mainly because I've only recently got a part time job after school and I'm saving towards college (I'm in all advanced and honors courses, btw). Again, if your interested in learning more, working with me, or in seeing more of my work, please contact me via Email or comment.
Here's Hoping!- Nathan Leite (PichuDX)
[Email me if you want to request references/ past works]

Pages: [1]