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Messages - Operative13

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Manga Writer workshop / Re: MR PROJECT 3: Prelude Stories & Sign Up Info
« on: January 19, 2019, 06:28:56 AM »
I've been waiting for two long years!

Ah yes, this is what our years taking Literature classes have amounted to  :D This reminds me of the great Arthur Conan Doyle's famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, and in particular when I was forced to read a rather dry Hound of the Baskervilles as part of that class.

Yes, Sherlock Holmes is revered to be an S-Class detective by the way in which he conducts his investigative business and seemingly knows everything just by a glance, but in reality he appears that way because he knows what he's doing. There's a difference between knowing what one is doing and just doing something. Smart characters appear smart because they have a clear and concise methodology in which they work. Why do they suspect this person? Because of such and such. What was the decisive evidence? This and that.

It's really not about trying to impress people with near-supernatural talent such as photographic memory or encyclopedic omniscience when it comes to smart people, but rather piecing together the steps, the puzzle, in how they arrived to their conclusion. In some ways, it's much like writing the story itself, only you're writing about a character's thought process and not the plot.

This, my point comes full circle. If you have a good idea how to write plot and how you can piece good high points and low points within a story, you can write a smart character as well. It's the same idea, but in different context.

General Manga writer discussions / Re: Copyrighting and stealing ideas
« on: November 27, 2018, 03:33:15 PM »
Simple rule of copyright: if you made it first, you own it.

You don't need any fancy paperwork or certificate to prove you own the copyright. So long as your work is in some tangible form like a forum post or piece of paper it's yours.

That said, there's a big difference between posting actual work and just putting out ideas. Just putting out an idea about so-and-so is not considered enough to be copyright-able compared to a fully-fleshed out story written down to the word about that same idea. Remember, it has to be tangible, not "in your head." In such cases, it is much better to post your actual work-in-progress rather than vaguely describe it to people (some people figuratively "shot themselves in the foot" because of this). It makes it much harder to prove it's yours in court if you've never actually posted the story.

Glad to see another good soul saving another  ;) You two will be best of buds for the coming years.

Congrats Bobby  :clapping:

A run-off from the previous Three Realms Project, Three Souls focuses more on sole character development in a shared world. Conflicts arise, and old threats emerge. Who will stand among the others as the true Chosen One?

Three Souls Synopsis

Long ago, an ancient hero known only as the Chosen One vanquished a great evil from the land that threatened to tear the world asunder and it shaped it into its own image. With the Trinity Stone, he sealed the evil into the void from whence it came, and peace was restored. Since then however, the stone that stood guard at the Black Gate had mysteriously vanished, and the chains that have sealed the gateway for so long have begun to unravel. It soon came to light that the stone had not simply disappeared: it was destroyed! With the stone no longer here to stop the Black Gate's unraveling, it only seemed certain that the great evil would return once more. However hope was not all lost. The great sages of the land convened, and through their foresight, discovered three souls that bore the essence of the Trinity Stone, the power that could seal the Gate and protect this world for good. What three souls, they do not know. The only catch was that their power must be reunited to fully seal the gateway. Only one was not enough...

We have exactly one position open for this spot, so whoever can stay active every weekend to work on this project (And then some), sign up today!  ;)

Develop Your Story / Re: Chelderan Chronicles: Worldbuilding
« on: October 25, 2018, 02:23:04 PM »
Hadian Union(United Republic of Hadia)

A federal republic formed by the World Union Party from the breakaway regions of eastern Hadia at the onset of the Hadian Civil War, it held a brief existence from 1903 to its downfall in 1910. Efforts to revive the fallen state were lackluster following the 1917 Unionist resurgence, opting for total military control over civil administration to govern its territories. After Hadia’s annexation into the World Union, vestiges of the Hadian Union were incorporated into the new State of Hadia but the Hadian Union itself never fully reformed.

Develop Your Story / Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (COMPLETED)
« on: September 27, 2018, 07:56:02 AM »
Congrats on your new success OGHM! You've come a long way since you first threw this out here  :thumbsup:

As a side note, I'm rather curious you decided to publish this out-or-order  :hmm:

Best of luck to you old friend  8)

Develop Your Story / Re: Chelderan Chronicles: Worldbuilding
« on: September 16, 2018, 03:58:07 AM »
It's been How Long since I last updated!?  :ohmy: Who knew chronic Writer's Block could be this awful... Anyways, a new update on Hadia, regarding the Steam Towns of the Central Mountains.  :D

Hadian "Steam Towns"

The Central Mountains are home to Hadia’s abundant mineral reserves buried deep within its core. The vast majority of steel, iron, copper, and other valuable metals are both mined and refined in large quantities in these very lands, constituting the bulk of the nation’s domestic metal production. After the Chelderan War, a great effort of self-reliance was made to localize production of vital war goods in Hadia. Should another devastating war break out across the continent once more, Hadia would no longer rely on its allies and trade partners to keep their war machine turning if such a grim scenario ever came.

The nation boomed. Industries and businesses sprung up in every corner of the country. Production peaked to a historical high. Blue-collared jobs were plentiful, and people lined up in masses to get them. Such were the reforms of Hadia under the National Progressives. This boom subsequently created the great “Steam Towns” that littered the Central Mountains. Although not as grand or impressive as Kondor’s centuries-old “Steam Metropolises,” these communities left a remarkable impression on the green, undisturbed landscapes Hadia was known for. Hills and mountains were stripped bare of any natural resources on their surface as these mining hubs burrowed deep into the earth to obtain the rich minerals underground. Entire districts grew around these hubs as production demands and job incentives skyrocketed over the years, especially around “luxury mines” that dug up gems, gold, and the rare Philosopher Stones that lie in the deepest mine shafts.

Yet despite the tremendous growth, Hadia was still reeling from the economic downturns of the late-nineteenth century, and the mining sector was no bystander. The life of a Steam Town lived and died by its ability to mine more ores, and when those ores ran dry, so too did the Steam Town. Clusters of abandoned mining hubs could been seen every now and then, with slithers of life trying to ilk what little fortune they had when they first moved to these bustling towns, the faint stench of burning coal and rusty skeletal frames of buildings still around decades after they had been abandoned. There is one thing, however, that remains common with every Steam Town: crime. The Hadian Government  had never sufficiently allocated resources to support the sudden emergence of these communities, as the necessities required by the mass of migrants were simply too huge to compensate in such a short timeframe. Some effort were put forth during the early years of these Steam Towns, but slowly faded out of the public eye as attention turned towards government incompetence and later the Rise of the Unionists. Where the government wasn’t present, organized crime was. The disorganized nature of the Steam Towns’ emergence had allowed these criminal underworlds to develop relatively undeterred by law enforcement, and indeed became the lifeblood for the dwellers that continued to live in Steam Towns long after their mines had run dry.

The Hadian Civil War had changed this dynamic. The threat of total collapse had called the attention of the government to these Steam Towns once more, pouring resources into securing these once-vibrant mining hubs to maintain the war effort against the rebel Unionists. Likewise, the Unionists themselves had found great use in cooperating with the criminal syndicates that run the Steam Towns, acting as command posts, supply depots, and refuge from government forces. Yet this peace remains uneasy, as the Unionists by their very nature are opposed to the existence of these criminal entities. They are not one to shy away from purging an entire Steam Town should their “partners” choose to betray them.

*Snickers in Evil* Another precious to add to my collection...  :biggrin:

Sorry to hear you suffer all weekend. Hopefully you're in a better mood now and can get back drilling through those requests  :thumbsup:

A few things I'll note about Daina Allens before I go. Hope you don't mind my drivel  ;D

1. Daina's rank and party badge on her shoulders.
This is pretty self-explanatory  :D Shirt collar isn't the same thing as a shirt shoulder. The collar is actually the two flaps on the neck.


2. Spats have straps.
Ever wonder why some shoes have that convenient little gap between the heel and your toes? Well that's actually so you can wrap the straps around if you decide to use spats  ;D (The more you know) This is so when you wear said-spats it doesn't go sliding across your entire leg when you run and get dirt, mud and all that other grimy stuff on the ground in your shoes. In this case, Daina doesn't have any  :D

3. Hats
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it annoying how some anime characters don't have proper hats, or simply wear it like its plopped on top of their heads?  :ninja: Proper hat wearing means the ring of the hat goes around the base of the skull. That means just above the ear and no higher than that. Once I've seen it, I can no longer go back...  :ninja:

The hat is actually too big for her head. Half the hat band is actually covering just hair. That problem also makes the hat visor very awkward to make since it's so high up.  :ohmy:

Properly fitted around the base of the head.

These are just my gripes, but other than that, good work there suuper  ;) Maybe I'll throw in another practice when you have the time. I'll wait for your list to clear up first  8)

As it so happens, I've got a stack of renditions from various artists on my (very familiar) character Corporal Daina Allens. If you want to give hers a spin of your own, feel free to do so  ;) On top of that, I've also managed to find that elusive image that inspired her back hair, so I'll put that up with my usual text. Good luck  8)

Character Description
Story: Chelderan Chronicles
Genre of your story: Historical Steampunk Military Fantasy
Name: Corporal Daina Allens
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Personality: Fierce, hardy, and stoic, Daina Allens has endured years of hardship fighting against the Hadian State Military. Having lost her dear friends in a raid she was in charge of, Daina's cheerful and outgoing personality had shattered into nothing more but a grim-dark cynic, believing only death and suffering is what awaits her future.
- Body type: Reasonably slim, yet fit
- Skin colour: White
- Eye type + color: Sleek, bright brown eyes
- Hair colour + style: Long, unkempt hair stopping just before the shoulders, with two strands of hair hanging from the middle of her forehead.

- Clothing: Olive-green military tunic resembling that of the German World War 1 Stormtroopers. The tunic is lengthened to just above the knees and has two breastpockets. A 4-pointed star is worn around the neck, with Daina's rank on the right collar and her former Party badge on the left. A round visor-less cap with a large braid hanging from the top matching the olive-green uniform colour is worn with a small 4-pointed star-in-circle at the front, resembling that of a Scottish bonnet and the German WW1 Cap. Heavy hiking boots are worn, and is typically covered by leather spats to keep mud out.

Back Hair(Only difference is the back hair is only one singular strand, not two as in the picture):

German WW1 Stormtrooper Uniform:

Scottish Bonnet:

German Stormtrooper Cap:

Military Spats:


Artist Renditions

- Operative13

- MusicFreak8800

- calista


Just to keep things in perspective, the Roman Empire at its height could field 500,000 men. Keep in mind though that most of that 500,000 would be auxiliary intended for guarding and patrolling the empire's borders and not for campaigning. Medieval kingdoms were much much smaller for the obvious reasons of supply, logistics, and a much smaller population. The exceptionally large ones could field 100,000 men, while mid-sized ones were expected around 50,000. Most kingdoms back then had forces roughly around 20,000 men, which was considered a large campaign. 5,000-10,000 is your typical army size, with 1,000-5,000 being a much smaller army. Numbers that are in the hundreds, such as 100, 250, or 500 are considered garrison forces.

For further reference on how to size your armies, I suggest you check this out: http://www.writing-world.com/sf/hordes.shtml

You'd be hitting it dead-on Green  ;) It would be that time period.

I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you should know the original artist hasn't been active here for over 6 months now.  :unsure:

I recommend checking more recent offers for a better chance at getting what you're looking for. Otherwise outside sources are also viable.

Good luck  ;)

Before the War (Dominion of Dautora)
“The Sheep does not wish for a sheep to lead them, but a Lion.”

For centuries, Dautora has been ruled by House Claryn, a great lineage of kings and nobles who watched over the lands for as long as the people could remember. They were the first to bring stability after a nearly half-century of divided kingdoms and warlordism plagued the lands. Under their noble rule, Dautora came to grow and prosper. Yet, as the realm thrived, the rule of House Clayrn began to falter. Centuries of isolationism on the Claryn’s insistence of staying out of foreign wars had mellowed the once-proud chivalric orders that had defended Dautora’s lands long before their rule, and corruption began to fester as the House’s rule began to stagnate. Although ages have passed with new knowledge gained and greater wealth obtained, civil and social reform had grinded to a stuttering halt. Past attempts to remedy the issue had been rendered ineffective by aristocrats and noble houses, who feared their powers would be severely weakened, and thereby, as they argued, weaken their ability to stamp down “evil” wherever it may be. It did not take long for corruption to seep into the noble houses themselves. Indecisiveness, ineptness, and inaction became rampant. Raiders and brigands terrorized the people before disappearing into the wilderness outside the realm. Foreign agents abused and exploited the generosity and kindness of Dautorans, whose king would rather reach compromises than risk war and famine. The Royal Officials, sworn to protect and serve the People and the Realm, could do little to stop these misdeeds, if they were not one themselves. The Times had changed. Yet their rule had not. The once proud lion that united Dautora and its people all those centuries ago, had become nothing more than a mellow sheep. Change would need to be had, and change was desperately needed, for the people could not stand passive any longer.

break Room / Re: I got booed at an hospital
« on: July 25, 2018, 02:19:32 PM »
When I volunteered at a youth center back in the days, one of the girls that volunteered with me said she didn't like kids. One of the kids then asked why? "You used to be us," the little girl said. It's funny because I used to say the same thing when I myself was a kid. We say we grow up, but in truth, we really haven't changed much from what we were as kids ourselves. The only thing that's changed is the things we were accustomed to as kids became "dull." We became more infatuated with things that had more "substance" behind it.

It's nothing more than the realization that kids don't have the same "life" experience as you do, and so don't understand the "substance" that you understand. Socializing? Pop References? Manners? All the things you as an adult consider "common sense" is foreign to a newborn who has never heard, let alone experience this "common sense" thing. Trust me that when you find a kid that knows the same as you and acts like you, you'll be best buds in no one. Then again, that goes for everyone. Only it's much harder for kids since they won't have the same interests as you as a given.  :-X

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