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Messages - Operative13

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Manga Art Gallery / Re: Devola's Stuff
« on: April 17, 2018, 10:30:08 AM »
Extra Spicy. Just the way I like it.  8)

Good to see you back Devola  :thumbsup:

Well it more or less died on its own  :unsure: People left during the first few weeks and the momentum just slowed after it became apparent no one wanted to write their stories... so hence another workshop is sent to the grave. May you rest in peace.  :ninja:

This'll probably be my last one, at least for now. I've tried hosting other workshops but with recurring problems of lack of engagement and participation, it simply isn't worth spending my time for. Perhaps when I see more requests for such a workshop, I'll consider it again, but for now, I'll end it here.  :sleep:

I still have my old Skype, but I've since ditched that for the more convenient Discord. Group chats are much easier to manage there.  8)

I suppose it's an open invitation  :-\

Feel free to ask Ol' Op for any help necessary. I'm around the forum most every day of the week. Otherwise, it's good to see you active here again Ryuu  ;)

General Manga writer discussions / Re: The Struggle Of A Writer
« on: March 24, 2018, 05:16:59 AM »
Copyright applies immediately upon creation of the work, not when it's registered in an office. So long as you have an earlier dated copy, that will hold in court. It's a misconception that you can get copyright by getting an office to approve it. But for future reference, I would advise you to be careful with who you work with, especially if they are someone you have no prior experience with and show no real authenticity with their work. It's very easy to get scammed on the internet, so learning telltale signs of fraudulent behaviour will save you a lot of trouble in the long term.

Source: https://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-general.html#what

When is my work protected?
Your work is under copyright protection the moment it is created and fixed in a tangible form that it is perceptible either directly or with the aid of a machine or device.

General Manga writer discussions / Re: Beta Readers
« on: March 22, 2018, 06:18:51 AM »
There are two types of critics: your professional kind who knows the ins-and-outs to everything there is to the subject and therefore knows what the devil they are talking about, perhaps even working within the profession themselves, and then there is your casual critic which consists of average joes like you and I, who simply takes things at face value and gives an arbitrary rating of "I like it" or "I hate it." Both have their ups and downs, which is why you will always see separate scores for both "professional critics" and "general audience." Typically you want to aim for both to be exceptionally high.

With professionals, you should expect them to look at quality and substance. Most importantly, originality, because they'll have likely seen the same ideas tossed around over and over again and are eager to see something spectacular that stands out from the crowd of stories they have to review. With general audiences it's more a matter of being memorable. Is it something that provokes a sense of thrill, excitement, emotion, longing? You're basically acting as a chef of "emotions" and depending on what the customer, the "audience", orders, your job is to present a dish that will exemplify the tastes to wish they seek. Not everything will be to everyone's tastes, but that is why you aim for the most amount of appeal in this case, not the catering to every complaint. Depending on the ratio of likes to dislikes you get, you know you're on the right track.

Though MangaRaiders would in this case fall into the latter category, I would implore you to seek out their opinions either way. Like I said, it's more a numbers game than a ratings game. The more people like your story, the more your story is on the right track  ;)

Week 10 Update

We have officially reached Week 10, the last week of the Writer's Marathon Workshop, and with it, the final stretch of our wondrous stories! By the end of Friday this week, each group will submit their final work. The Grand Community Vote will be held, and one week after, the winner for Best MangaRaiders Story will be crowned! It's been a harrowing journey, but one to have gladly traveled with each and every one of you!

Good Luck Fellow Writers! I'll see you at the finish line! 8)
- Operative13

Week 9 Update

The Writer's Marathon is nearing its closure... in two weeks the final Community Vote will be held, and at that time all stories must be completed to be eligible for participation. Hopefully everyone's been keeping on track for that  ;)

The last Writing Activity is: Reflection. Write an Epilogue for a given story that reflects upon the journey and struggles the characters and the world had undergone in that time. Think of this as a final testament to all the work you have done thus far.  8)

Good Luck Fellow Writers!  8)

Week 7 Update

The Writing Marathon is almost over. In three weeks, the last updates will be completed and our final projects shall be presented to the community in its fullest on the Tenth Week! Though few of us remain to finish the task at hand, we will undoubtedly finish the work we have started and bring this workshop to fruition! In that endeavor, we shall not falter.  8)

The next Writing Activity for this week is: Rewriting. Take an existing work, either your own or someone else's, and try to rewrite it with your own take. This will test not just your understanding of the material, but also your creativity given the limitations of that work.

Good Luck Fellow Writers!  8)

Fifth Community Vote Begins!

Pardon the seeming lack of engagement on my behalf... I should note that although I do try to keep to a rigid schedule, there always is that one thing that nags at us to attend to more important matters. That thing being Real Life. :unsure: Whatever the case may be, I've devoted myself to keeping this workshop up for 10 weeks, and that is exactly what I plan!  ;)

The next Writing Activity for this week is: Stream of Consciousness. You could write from anything. A certain character, an outside observer... so long as it has some particular focus in a story, whatever that story may be. ;)

Good Luck Fellow Writers!  8)

Also, congratulations to No Days Off!'s "Ravens and Revenants" for winning this week's Community Vote!  :thumbsup: Hope to see you guys keep it up until next week's vote  ;)

Better late than never, but I finally got around to reviewing "Ravens and Revenants" by No Days Off!  ;)

Ravens and Revenants - No Days Off! (Review)
Quite impressed by the story-telling techniques in this story. Much of it reads like a proper short story, going straight to descriptive and background details without so much as wasting time with useless details. There's quite a build of unique characters around, although I'm a tad concerned that some of these characters sound too alike in their dialogue... that and it's quite difficult to tell who's talking what.  :unsure: However I'm certain that can be fixed promptly with some good revisions. The story adequately covers the lore behind what's going on in this world and what kind of society these people live in, just touching upon it whenever it fits the current subject. It doesn't mindlessly dump information out of context, at least not so much where it becomes unwieldy, and it keeps the connections and world-building interesting and fresh as one can just picture what sort of world this might be.

Although it's quite too early to tell whether the story will be a worthwhile investment yet, it reads promptly and smoothly enough to be intriguing, but it lacks somewhat of a hook to keep reader investment in. Thus far we are only introduced to characters with no outstanding event or conflict other than the ongoing war between Asturias and the Imperials, and even that appears distant thanks to the carefree mood of the fortress soldiers. Grammar and format are other areas to work on, but other than that, the backgrounds are the most interesting parts to the story itself. Something I might find investment in. Until then, I'll wait for further updates to see whether my faith in these rich characters are worthwhile in this story  ;)

Week 5 Update

In five days, the Writer's Marathon will hit it's official halfway mark, and with it, our nearly finished stories. Hopefully everyone's been keeping up with their updates as of late. Today is the deadline to write last week's review, so if you haven't already, now would be a good time to get it done  ;) Aside from that, we also have this week's Writing Activity Theme: World-Building. There's a twist however... you must tell this lore in the context of a story. No paragraph dumping, no expositions... this activity involves your ability to incorporate details of a story's world and make it flow naturally with the events and interactions between characters.

Do you have what it takes to write the world you want? The Writing Activity begins tomorrow  8)

Good Luck Fellow Writers!  8)

Tuesday is here, and with it, the First Writing Activity: Characterization!  ;)

If you haven't already, get your piece in by tomorrow as we'll be rolling quickly into the next round of Community Votes on Friday.

My pitch for this week's Writing Activity: Characterization.

Interrogation of Genevieve Aristol
“State your name for the record.”

“Genevieve Aristol.”




“I’m self-employed.”

“And what exactly do you sell in this shop?”

“Just little things...”

“Like what?”

“...gadgets, trinkets, the sort.”

“It says here you are a licensed alchemist. Do you suppose you have anything in your shop relating to this?”

“N-No, I... haven’t practiced alchemy in ages.”

“Oh? You mean to imply you haven’t done anything with your license for the past two years?

“Well, I have but.. It was only for a month or so.”

“And what was the reason for this?”

“I... didn’t want to go through the trouble.”


“I have all my things delivered to me from outside sources instead of making it myself... I just didn’t have the time.”

“Let me recap. You obtained your Alchemy License about three years ago, yes?”


“And within one month, you suddenly quit making concoctions yourself and decided to outsource that job.”

“Not suddenly. I had my doubts before, and it was only until it got too much that I decided...”

“Decided what?”


“Ms. Aristol, you need to help me understand this. You went through our certification process to obtain a license to manufacture your own alchemic products, knowing full well you might not make full use of it, then went to another alchemist to obtain the products you now sell in your store?”

The interrogator presents a glass vial.

“Now why would you go through the trouble of all that when you could have simply applied as a Licensed Distributor instead?”


“Be honest with me. Why did you suddenly stop producing your own potions a month into your license?”


“It wasn’t because of... Doubts, was it?”


“Ms. Aristol, I’ve no doubt you recognize this vial, yes?”

The interrogator picks up the vial and examines it.

The subject nods.

“Well, to be fair, it’s just your typical glass vial... in fact most alchemists use these vials to store potions for individual consumption... the residue however is a completely different story. This...”

The interrogator presents another vial with a red liquid inside.

“...is what we found inside your vial.”


“...do you know what this is?”


“It’s a special tonic called Last Lament. Easily mistaken for something harmless as a health potion, for example. But this is no ordinary potion. This thing is extremely potent. When ingested, you’ll feel ecstatic at first, only to suffer internal bleeding and organ failure days later.”


“Ms. Aristol, do you know why we called you here?”

“Am I in trouble?”

“Ms. Aristol, if you call your lawyer now, you might never see your friend live another day.”

The subject is visibly distressed.


“Rayne, I believe her name is. I have reports here telling me you two have been in close contact since your license approval. Yet suddenly you didn’t... show up. Conveniently the week before she disappeared. Care to explain?”

The subject is visibly shaken.

“...I was told she was out of town that week. I didn’t know she was in any sort of trouble until now and I just thought she was...”


The subject nods her head.

“She was your supplier this whole time, wasn’t she?”

The subject nods her head.

“Was she the one that supplied you with the potion?”

The subjects nods her head.

“How much did she give you?”

“Crate-loads... but they were always mixed with the genuine stuff so I could keep up the appearance. The real thing I kept away from the storefront.”

“Did someone come to your store on a regular basis to buy it?”

“Not someone. Some people. It was never the same person.”

“How did you know you were dealing with the right person?”

“A passphrase. It was always different with each meeting. Rayne would give me the phrase beforehand so I’d know I’d be expecting someone.”

“Do you know if Rayne had any connections? Someone we could possibly get in touch with?”

The subject shakes her head.

“She always kept to herself. Never really much the talkative person. I never really took her to be different until... I’m sorry, this is a lot for me right now.”

“Take your time. We have all day.”

“...am I still in trouble?”

“Have I ever said you were?”


“Ms. Aristol, as much as distributing illegal substances is a crime, our priority right now is saving your friend Rayne from possibly dangerous people. Now as I am not a lawyer, I cannot guarantee you will walk free, but I can say that your contribution to the investigation will be taken into consideration.”

The subject is twirling her thumbs.

“If I could, I would... but I don’t know else I can help.”

“Do you perhaps think you could identify some of the people that came looking for the potion?”

“...maybe. I don’t know. I’ve seen lots of faces over the years. I don’t know if I can remember any of them.”

“If we do have some, do you think you can try?”

“...I guess I can. I can’t promise it though.”

“Just do your best. That’s all we ask.”

The interrogator pulls out Suspect One, Suspect Two, and Suspect Three.

“Do any of these men look familiar?”

The subject studies the photographs.

“Maybe one of them...”

“Which one?”

“That one.”

The subjects points to Suspect Three.

“I don’t know for sure. He just looks like someone I’ve seen.”

“That’ll be fine, Ms. Aristol. We’ll let you know if something pops up. That’ll be all for today. You’re free to go.”

-End Transcript-

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