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Messages - ChanellMarie

Pages: [1]
1
Manga Creations / Re: Extinct
« on: September 02, 2015, 04:53:00 PM »
I truly thank you for your advise. =^.^=

2
Manga Creations / Extinct
« on: September 26, 2014, 03:31:20 AM »
Chapter One
   
Drop keys, feed cat, and turn on water. The only solution to one of these kinds of days is a bubble bath. No

matter how much I think about it, there was no reason for those ranges in reactions. I was walking around

minding my own business. Who would have thought they’d try to gain territory around here? When the water was

ready I happily climbed into the bath. After getting quite comfortable there was a scratching at the door. How

could he want in now?

“Hisa-chan I’m busy at the moment.” I expected him to go away, but he is a very persistent cat. You’d think he

was a girl cat by his behavior. Hates getting dirty, has expensive taste when it comes to food, and let’s not even

get started about the litter box. His full name is Hisao. He’s been around for as long as I can remember. My uncle

says we were meant for each other. After about a minute to my surprise, the door cracked open and he came

strutting in. He jumped on the counter and made himself comfortable on my towel. So we just sat there enjoying

each other’s company.


“Hisao today was really weird.” For a second I thought he was going to answer back. We’ve been together for so

long I mistake him for a person. I soon began to fall into a haze. This bath was a good idea. It melts all the stress

right out of your body, leaving you feeling lighter. Now that I think about I feel a little too light. The last thing I

remember was Hisa-chan coming into to the bathroom. Did I fall asleep? I’d better get out of here. If “he” found

out I’d drowned in my own bathroom, he’d never forgive me. I groan loudly to express in great detail my detest

for returning to life. “Hisa-chan can you bring me my towel?” I look over thinking he’s just ignoring me, but he

wasn’t there. There was nothing anywhere for that matter. My entire bathroom was gone, and with Hisao! How

did this happen? The bathtub was still here, just nothing else! I had to calm myself down. I’m just “here” again.

Just wait it out like you use to. This was a dream and nothing is real. So I sat there, waiting for something to

happen. I don’t know how long I’ve waited so far. There was no concept of time in this place. Hold on one second.

If I am unconscious right now, then that means I’m unconscious in the bathtub. And that means I might actually

be drowning! “Wake up! You really need to wake up now Eden!”


“You need to get out of here!” A woman’s voice resonates throughout me.


“I know that!” I looked around in every direction expecting to find someone standing behind me. There was

nothing. I was only presented with a sea of white no matter where I turned. When I looked behind myself again

there was a figure off in the distance. How long had it been there? I wonder if they can see me from that distance.

Now that I think about it the figure was becoming a lot clearer. It was a person, and they were drawing closer.

No, they were running towards me!  Stay calm just get out of the tub. Although when I wasn’t in the tub anymore

gravity seemed to disappear. “What was keeping me in the bathtub then?!” I had no choice it was almost here

now. I twisted and turned as if I was struggling for oxygen. “Wait, am I actually drowning!” This is starting to

freak me out beyond belief.  I need to calm down this is my mind. Take control of your surroundings. I start to tilt

forward until suddenly I’m slammed into a floor. When I opened my eyes it appears that’s what I had exactly

done. It didn’t matter to me though. I’m just glad it’s finally over, but when I looked up, it wasn’t my bathroom. I

was standing in a hallway, wearing the same clothes of that day. It was dimly lit with candle sticks. My eyes had

to slowly adjust, but once they did I was able to make out the decorations. This hallway was very long and

elegant. It had a Victorian flair to it. At both ends sat a large double door. The walls were lined with beautiful

flower themed wallpaper, and under my feet lay the longest rug I’d ever seen. It stretched to both ends of the

hall. Also an end table sat in the center, it held a single lamp. On the wall above that lamp hung a large portrait.

There were three people painted. There was a man, a woman, and a little girl. I reached up to touch the canvas.

It was cold to the touch, almost freezing. Even though everything about it was beautiful, the people portrayed

didn’t have faces. They seem to have been scratched out by someone. I’ve been stuck here before, but I’ve never

seen any of this. I looked closer at the man and woman. Her dress was lovely. She wore a floor length white dress

that had plenty of ruffles. Almost like a wedding dress. And he wore an exceptionally made suit. I wanted to try

my hardest to rebuild the faces. I slowly raise my hand to the canvas once again.

“You need to take her and go now!”

That voice it was the same one as earlier. It sounds kind of sad now. “Take who and go where?” What am I

talking about? This was my mind, none of this is real. I made my way out before I can do it again. I glance down

both ends of the hallway. Oddly enough though, is one of the doors disappeared? Is my mind calming down

finally? I take a deep breath and move towards the end of the hall. My steps start to speed up a bit. A panic ran

through my body. I could feel someone staring at me. Suddenly a pain ricocheted through my veins. It brought

me to my knees. When I looked down I was wearing the same dress as the little girl in the portrait. “Oh no, I’m

getting dragged further in.” I try to endure the pain; I need to get to that door. The more I push against the pain

the stronger I became; it felt good. Almost like I could do anything I wanted, and there’d be no one to stop me. I

start to chuckle a bit. The pain no longer bound me to the floor. Nothing could hold me anymore. I face the

portrait, which was now a mirror reflecting the most horrible entity back at me. It was the shadowed figure, but

different. It now had claws and razor sharp teeth, but the worst thing was the eyes. They were blood red, void of

any humanity. Why was I seeing this? I close my eyes open them again, and it was me.


“It’s me…” I lay a hand on the mirror to find my nails had grown. “No, this isn’t real.” I’m starting to feel trapped

more than ever. The only thing I could do was cover my face. I didn’t want to watch such an appearance shed

tears.


“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” That’s not the voice from before. This one was unsettling to the core. Slowly

I raise my face to find out who my new guest was. To my horror it was the shadowed figure. Obviously it wanted

something from me. “Could I maybe help you with something?” It smirked at me, crouching down beside me.


“There is nothing I could want from someone who isn’t real.” When I said this, the form the figure was trying to

hold began to prickle and spike. The smoky silhouette was now smooth and gleaming, almost to the point of

emphasizing how sharp the points were. Guess I struck a nerve with this thing.

“Is that what “he” told you! That I didn’t exist; a figment of your imagination perhaps?” Its teeth began to grow

even longer. The red of its eyes darkened. It paced in a circle around me. It seemed as though its form was

breaking down.

I knew it wasn’t real. “Huh?” When I finalized that thought it reverberated within these walls. The figure I that was

dissolving before my eyes only grew larger. It stretching and wrapping around me like a dark whirlpool. The

figures claws were reaching, grasping for me in vein. For some reason it couldn’t touch me, but its attempts still

hurt. There was no escaping this monster before me. Then it began to laugh at me, taunting me with those eyes.

Those stupid eyes! I ran for the door. Emotionally this was a devastating. Split between fear and anger. My mind

felt as though it was being shredded. I pushed myself as much as I could to get to the other side of this

hallway. “What do you want?!” I waited for an answer, but I didn’t stop my retreat. Glancing back I could see it

wanted to say something; it moved its mouth to at least. However there was no sound. Merely in its place was a

resonating sensation within me. The same phrase echoing over and over again in my head. Open the door. Open

the door.

 

3
Develop Your Story / Am i on the right track?
« on: September 12, 2014, 11:26:36 PM »
Chapter One

Why do I feel weightless? Did I fall asleep in the bath again? I need to wake up.
   

“You need to get out of here!”
   

What was that? This is starting to freak me out. “Who’s talking?” I wait for an answer, but there was no response.

I look around in every direction. There was only a sea of white as far as the eye could perceive. It looked as if

something was off in the background, but I could make out what it was. I seemed to be the figure of a person.

Wait that figure was moving toward me. No, not just moving it was running! It’s not slowing down. I need to get

out of the way. I twisted and turned as if I was struggling for oxygen. This is starting to freak me out beyond

belief. Suddenly I began to tilt forward until it felt like I was slammed onto a hardwood floor. When I opened my

eyes it appears that’s exactly what I had done. I’m just glad it’s finally over, although when I looked up it wasn’t

my bathroom. I was standing in a hallway. This hallway was long and very elegant. It was done in a kind of

Victorian flair. The walls were lined with very beautiful end tables as well as portraits. I reached up to touch the

canvas. It was cool to the touch, almost freezing.  Even though the pictures were beautiful, there were no faces

on any of the people portrayed. Underneath my feet lay a gorgeous rug stretching ahead of me and behind me.   


   
“You need to take her and go now!”

   
The voice was angrier than before. I don’t know what it wants from me. Take who and go where? I really

need to wake up now! I glance down at both ends of the hallway. Strangely there was only a pair of double doors

at one end. I start to move forward towards the doors, but to my horror the shadowed figure appeared along the

wall behind me. This time it seemed to have claws and sharp teeth. I tried my hardest to get to the other end of

this hallway. It’s as if my legs couldn’t carry me fast enough. What’s going on? Why was this happening to me?

The closer I got to the doors the larger the shadow became. It stretching and wrapping around me like a dark

whirlpool. Its claws and teeth sharp, grasping at me like a wild animal. There was no escaping this monster. And

apparently scaring me wasn’t enough for it. The figure began to laugh, taunting me. For a moment my emotions

were split between anger and fear, but put back in check when I glanced into its eyes. Those horrible red eyes

look as if as though they glaring right through me. Nothing bothered me more than that. I stopped short of the

doors, and took a few steps backwards.


   “What do you want from me?” I didn’t stop my retreat. Again I waited for a response. It looked as if it was

trying to say something, but there was no sound. Of course there was no sound that would be too easy. The voice

before was right, but I can’t find an exit. The further away I got from the doors the smaller the figure became,

until it I were standing face to face. Almost as if it manifested a body of it’s on. It was staring me in the face with

those blood thirsty eyes. For a second I hadn’t realized that I had stopped moving and it had not. Before I knew it

I could feel it’s breath on my skin. It slowly opened its jaws and moved closer. I shut my eyes. I didn’t want to

see what happened next. Suddenly it felt as though I was being yanked into the ceiling. Something had actually

grabbed on to me, and for a second I thought I was dead. When I opened my eyes I was laying in my bed. That

dream felt so real. My heart was pounding with such force that I had to stand up and catch my breath. I glanced

down at my alarm clock. It said it was three o’ clock in the morning. On the other side of my bed lay my cat. She

slept undisturbed by any of my actions. There was no way more sleep was an option. Today is going to be a fun

day.


   Tick. Tick. The sound of that clock is driving me crazy. I turned around and examined it for myself. For some

reason it was louder than usual. The acoustics in my uncle’s office aren’t that good.


   “What should we have for lunch today?” A mother was talking to her daughter across the room. They were

deciding what their day’s plan was going to be. They’ve brought their dog in today. He had gotten in a nasty fight

with another. It was probably a stray or something like that. It was his last check-up in a series of three. We’ve

really gotten to know each other. 


   “I want ice cream!” Her daughter screamed this at the top of her lungs. Clearly the excitement was too

much.


Sadly I couldn’t share in this joy. Mostly on the account of my ears were on fire now. Her shrill voice penetrated

my ear drum making the rest of my body go numb from shock. I tried to play this off by subtly rubbing the inside

of my ears. Maybe I should get my ears checked. In the back of my mind I’m worried it will affect my job. If my

uncle thinks the littlest thing is wrong with me he swarms. Making me put everything in my life on hold until I feel

better. I’ve been in and out of hospitals my entire like. Due mostly to the fact I didn’t sleep. At a young age I was

hospitalized for sleep deprivation. The nightmares kept me from nodding off. They were so frightening; I could

never understand why I’d dream of such images. Death, blood, and loneliness were the only thing waiting for me

when I shut my eyes. I grew weaker; less conscious of the world around me. When my uncle decided he had no

choice he took me to the hospital. I’d never forget when he walked out those doors. Every nerve in my body was

alerted. I tensed as the nurses strapped me to the gurney. I put up such a fight; I didn’t want him to go. Not him

also. He couldn’t leave me behind. Without him the monsters were going to get me. I truly believed him \to be the

only protection I had. Those doctors couldn’t do anything for me. They didn’t understand me.


Tears began to wheal up in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away, checking to see if anyone saw. This isn’t

something I should be thinking about at work. All of that was fixed when I was little. Everything is going to be

okay. 


   “Eden can you send back the next patient,” this was my uncle now. He was calling me over an intercom. For

a second I thought he could read minds, and that I was caught. I waited a moment pretending to be busy.  Sadly

he could just walk down the hall and get the clients himself. He just wants to pretend his clinics bigger than what

it really is. Not to diminish it or anything, but I feel ridiculous going along with his charade. For some reason he’s

always late, but he lives upstairs. I always have to tell clients outrageous stories to cover for him. He’s not a bad

guy, but he could be more responsible.


   “Mrs. Byrne the doctor will see Charlie now.” My suddenness startled her a bit. She stared at me for a

minute before untying Charlie. I gestured to my left at a door. As she and her daughter drew close something

strange happened. Her daughter began to stare at me. No, it was more of a glare. It’s as though the closer they

got the more afraid her daughter became. Charlie also winced at me when I tried to pet him. To lighten the mood

I tried to give them my largest smile. Sadly my plan backed fired on me. The little girl decided to move closer to

her mother. Charlie also had a problem with my stunt. He began to growl and showed his teeth. Today just isn’t

my day. First there was the dream and now this.


   “I’m sorry for this. She’s just a shy child, and Charlie is very protective of her. It’s the reason we adopted

him.” Mrs. Byrne gave me a pained smiled. You could tell it was forced.


The reassurance appeared to be out of pity. She too was shocked at her daughter’s reaction. A few weeks ago she

was playing with me in the waiting area. I’d always print coloring sheets out for her if the visit ran to long. Now

she’s treating me like a stranger. I peered through the door at my uncle. He’s giving me the same smile Mrs.

Byrne had, yet somehow different. Something strange was going on around here. Oh well, time to get back to

work. There’s a lot of filing to do today.


A little later Mr. Harper and his son arrived for their appointment. The husky-mix needed his shots and a bath. Mr.

Harper and my uncle were good friends. Actually I think he’s my uncle’ only friend. He’s a middle aged man,

although he looks younger than so. His son’s the same age as me. He’s a thin guy with dark hair and blue eyes.

Some handsome features, but not enough to get over the fact he talked





4
Develop Your Story / Re: No title yet ( any help )
« on: December 11, 2013, 01:20:48 PM »
I'm going to try and explain what I have right now as best as I can. Please bear with me. The plot centers around a Dampier and two vampires. The two vampires are brothers and the sons of the vampire that over through her father. She wants revenge and they want to help for their own reasons. In this setting the vampires are more like yakuza than anything. They and the government have their own deal made out so there is no wide spread panic. As long as they kill inconspicuously the government will continue act as though they don't exist. More like keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

5
Develop Your Story / Re: No title yet ( any help )
« on: December 11, 2013, 11:50:51 AM »
A Dampier is a half human half vampire. They have the same abilities as a vampire so long as they consume blood although they don't have to. Her abilities could also show if her life was in danger.

6
Develop Your Story / Re: No title yet ( any help )
« on: December 10, 2013, 11:04:42 AM »
I have at least two chapters right now. Actually you have a point now that I think about it. They can keep it instead. Adding to the story I already have. Thanks!

7
Welcome Center / Hello
« on: December 10, 2013, 10:49:37 AM »
Hi,

    My name is Blakely and of course I'm female. I found this forum just searching for a place to help my writing. I have no one around me to whose interested in graphic novels. So I'm hoping you guys can help me better myself. I've always been in love with anime and manga. I've yet to find something that I didn't like. Just hope you take care of me everyone.

8
Develop Your Story / No title yet ( any help )
« on: December 10, 2013, 01:33:07 AM »
Ok, it revolves around a Dampier named Eden. Her family was over thrown by another vampire clan with the help of a warlock's coven. They found the clan leader weak for taking a mortal bride. Since that clan was the head of all the others (meaning he was stronger than any other vampire) they could not exactly kill him. So instead the warlock trapped him inside a pendent. Thinking this spell could never be broken as the ultimate insult they bestowed the necklace to his only daughter.
As this is taking place her mother manages to escape with her uncle. Knowing that her daughter was still with those wretched people she stayed restless. So her and her brother devised a plan to sneak back into the castle and retrieve the daughter. In the attempt the mother is killed, but the uncle managed to retrieve his niece. He vowed to always protect her 

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