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Messages - Crazycone

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Develop Your Story / Re: 3rd Hikari series vote
« on: October 08, 2013, 08:51:07 AM »
I agree with Legomaestro...
You aren't working for someone, therefor you should sieze the moment to work on something you're truly passionate with. Don't write something just because you want to write it and then show it to people, write it because you want to play with the story, because you want to be the one pulling the strings in the story. If you want to sell it, that doesn't change anything, just the fact that you MUST keep the reader's hope at the border.

I don't think you should have us vote, whatever we say will just hurt you unless everyone says that they liked your series... but then again, if we do that then we wouldn't be doing anything good. You should re-read your stories and choose the one's that you like the most, then ask yourself "If someone else had wrote this, would I read it with the same passion?". If the answer is no, then throw it away and work on something else.
You wan't to publish this, don't you? Then this is a time where you should be EXTREMELY picky (unless you are a genius), if you have even the slighest doubt that this isn't going to get published, then MAKE IT BETTER OR THROW IT AWAY!

I haven't read your stories, but I just felt that I had to post this.
Good luck, and may the force be with you!

Welcome Center / Re: Hey there
« on: October 03, 2013, 06:27:53 PM »

Welcome Center / Re: Meet the Gelmra
« on: October 01, 2013, 01:51:49 PM »
Welcome to MR!

Manga Writer workshop / Re: Write Something that brings Emotion
« on: September 30, 2013, 10:10:35 PM »
Well... lets test your deduction ability


A thousand words could not describe the emotion that invaded me that night, as I slept within my dream, and dreamt within my sleep. It was but the epitome of old horror, the disgusting monster that rests beneath your bed, the uncertain reality that threat to remain. I was alone in a small room of a quiet house, waiting for something, someone that would not arrive. It was already five past three and a scent of melancholy filled the room in which I dwelled. She was not there yet.
I walked from place to place, from here to there. I opened the door to my room, and nothing was there, not a single piece of furniture, not a single particle of dust. My hopes reached a climax once I saw the only thing that remained, an old victorian closet, painted white with pink stripes. As I got closer, the wood slowly deteriorated; with each step, the only item that had a lead went from new to old.  It was then when I realized that she would never come, and that I would never go.
To my surprise, the closet door opened. As it did, it emitted a cracking sound, and it broke. The door fell down with a loud thud that echoed through the room and out to the main hall. Right after, silence reigned again; a beautiful woman came out from the closet. She was wearing a long pink dress, decorated with red, black, yellow, and green flowers. I opened my mouth, but I could not speak, my words were taken out and all I could do was watch as they painted the white walls that decorated the house.
“This is not the end, mother.”
That was it, the only thing I could do, the only thing that remained… the hope to please what was not there anymore, just a memory in an infinite imagination.

Luke is missing one eye o.O

Manga Writer workshop / Re: Write Something that brings Emotion
« on: September 29, 2013, 10:03:29 PM »
I'm going to bring this thread up, and then edit my reply with a story once I think of something.
I love the taste I get whenever I expect something in a piece of work I read, specially when the writer knows what he/she is doing. I love emotion in the form of good literature, specially that last dialogue in the end... that short line that brings the shock and unlocks the door to understanding the whole twist of the situation.

Manga Artists Wanted / Re: Looking for 1 (or 2) artists
« on: September 29, 2013, 08:50:24 PM »
3 writers? Eh... why not. If you're using so many writers, I guess time and amount of on-going projects won't me too much of a problem. Since you already have one artist, and are on your way to get a second, I would like to collaborate in order to see it drawn.

I haven't tried my hand with romance, but I want to write a novel that incorporates it as a theme in the future. Philosophy and psychology? I haven't had classes on any of those yet, but I know well how human psychology works, and I am able to incorporate it in about everything I do. Philosophy... well, I always incorporated my own beliefs in my past forum, and in my writing groups, until I found out by my teacher that many of the things I said or wrote were hybrids between works that already existed.

Not to be arrogant or over-confident, but I think thats how an application works... and if you're going to do something, you better stand out.

Here is a link to the project I am working on, in case you need a sample of what I can do. I am still editing chapter one.,8580.0.html

Good luck finding the people you need. :)

Develop Your Story / Re: My Manga project: Symbiotysm
« on: September 29, 2013, 08:32:19 PM »
Since you posted this in the "Develop your story" forum, I guess you want feedback :P

-I like the world you created, how the battle destroyed the city in which the main character resided, and how the war affected the balance between countries.
-Since country (C) was forcibly made to change, you have a lot of room to sprout different storylines concerning that country, which can later lead to another war and an interesting arc.
-However, I have a problem understanding the actual setting, or what you're trying to accomplish with this story. Yes, the chain of events affected the main character and now he has a prosthetic arm and a short remaining life-span... but then what? What are you trying to do? What is the point of the story? To me it looks like you just ended it right there.
-I understand you don't want to spoil, but you should write a summary in order for us to understand the story. I doubt you are going to find an artist that is going to bet his time in order to draw a manga that he doesn't even know what it is about.

-I like your system of using "shots" to describe how the story is going to look like in the manga.
-The only problem I had with chapter 1 is the lack of story, and the lack of dialogue. Personally, I think chapter1 is one of the most important chapters in a book/manga/story overall. Chapter1 serves as a hook, to get the reader to read the rest of the story, but in your case... there is nothing much to read.
-You introduced THE main character (Evan), then proceeded to give us the hint that he likes Sara, and that Samuel is a cheerful guy. I think chapter1 is incomplete.


-Good setting.
-Good theme.
-Incomplete chapter (Lack of fundamental storytelling)
-Lack of dialogue.

Good luck with the story! :) Remember that this is my personal opinion, I just think that chapter 1 is missing PART 2.

Manga Writer workshop / Re: Plot Neverends
« on: September 28, 2013, 10:50:08 PM »
I would post, but I don't want to ruin the story... I like it, and I wan't to know what happens next o.O

Develop Your Story / Re: Fluid (am I doing this right?)
« on: September 28, 2013, 09:30:08 PM »
ha ha don't worry your guess was not even close ;)  but thanks for the input. The one thing is though they meet back in high school and then don't talk for a couple years so it would be like going to something tragic and then skipping back 7 years time to Luke in high school.

Thats good! :D Means you'll suprise the reader. Good luck with the story, ill try to give you some feedback when I read it. :)
Are you going to post it in script format, or like a novel?

Develop Your Story / Re: Fluid (am I doing this right?)
« on: September 28, 2013, 09:06:12 PM »
It all depends on how you tell the story, and how well you can switch between past and present.
I like the idea of starting in present day when the tragic insident happens, and you leave the reader with the big doubt of "what the hell?". After that, you switch to past and start telling the story as if it was the present, except that the main character narrates a little of it. You go back to a moment where he doesn't know April, and as the story progresses they meet each other and marry. It follows up till "present-day", to the beginning of the story, and you reveal the whole portion of the tragic event.


Intro: *Luke stands at the cementery, crying. A group of people dressed in black surround a grave. Luke is holding the hand of child. He is narrating some sad things, etc.*

Arc1: *Story flashes to the past, to the moment when Luke was in High school. Me meets a cute girl named April and tries to make her fall in love with him. At the end of Arc1 he asks her to be his girlfriend.*

Arc2: *April says yes, and the story arc follows with the events that happen as they date each other. At the end of Arc2 Luke asks April to marry him.*

Arc3: *April says yes. They have a daughter. During her daughter's birthday, April rushes to the story to buy a cake. As she drives, some drunk guy crashes with her and she dies.*

Ending: *One of the scene's in the introduction plays, and they go to the funeral. Luke stands at the cementery holding the hand of his daughter.*

Soooo.. yeah. I'd go with choice #1.

PS: I hope I didn't just guess the actual story and posted it.

Develop Your Story / Re: help my story "The Life Of Decoy
« on: September 28, 2013, 06:46:21 PM »
Have you considered using that post as a radio narrative? I think it would be interesting for the start of a post-apocaliptic story, sort of like Book of Eli or something like that.

A group of survivours listening to the radio, a single man speaks: *POST NARRATIVE HERE*

Perhaps Decoy can become the "face" of hope, the same way that Katniss is the face of the revolution in The Hunger Games.
Decoy could guide people towards a new beginning, a village under construction in hopes of re-extablishing civilization. He could guide them to places where they can find supplies, or other suviviours. He could be the head of a group that tries to find survivours, and escort them towards the "safe locations". Every once in a while, just like in I'm Legend, he could speak in the radio in attempt to message other people.

With that setting, and that intro, there are endless possibilities of what you can do.

My only recommendation is that you have to work on the format.

Welcome Center / Re: New creative person here! :)
« on: September 28, 2013, 01:38:41 PM »
Two words: Shinsekai Yori. Watch it. Now.

Whale-cum to Manga Raiders! As a "new guy" I am happy to say that I love the community, its very whale-cumming. They are nice, even when they critic your manga, or write feedback!
Anyways, here's a sheep:  :sheep: 

Develop Your Story / Re: Hide & Seek
« on: September 28, 2013, 01:29:32 PM »
I plan on having 3 arcs: Arc 1 starts at the beginning of the series and takes part till the end, arc 2 will be inside arc 1, and finally arc 3 (the smallest) will be inside arc 2. Mecha, Sci-fi, and Military aren't actually themes, I should take them away to avoid confusion... thats why I pointed them as secondary. The reason why I listed them is because they later become noticeable in the story.
Whenever I introduce a new character that actually matters, Ill give out the name right away, just like the way I did with Ayano.

I didn't give out the names for Boy1-3, and Girl3 because the name doesn't actually matter... I may give out their names in another episode though, through a flashback.

Thanks for the feedback :) Since Ill continue editing this after I write every chapter, I may change the names (Demons-> Ghoruls) depending on the circumstances. At first, I didn't want to call them demons because for some reason I hate "demon" manga, and I don't want this to be considered "mainstream".

PS: Chapter 2 will be a little delayed because I am writing chapter 3 first (i have my reasons). When I finish, Ill post chapter 2, and chapter 3 a week later... then chapter 4, etc.

Develop Your Story / Re: Until the last of us dies
« on: September 26, 2013, 07:23:27 PM »
I will change the name of the series to "Hide and Seek", and work on it full time from now on. The reason why I am doing this is because I finally figured out the middle, and ending for the series, and IT IS AWESOME! The climax will send chills down your spine, and give you goosebumps for a month!
I still accept feedback and comments, so feel free to do so!
Thanks for everything- Crazycone

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