August 20, 2018, 12:53:39 AM

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Messages - Coach Fro

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Naruto Manga / Re: favorite jutsu
« on: August 17, 2018, 09:39:58 PM »
I'm personally a fan of the Sharigan in general. It was complex and possessed so many different abilities that made it downright op. Plus, it really took genjutsus to the next level, and Genjutsu in general is another favorite of mine.

I also loved the water style jutsus as well. Water dragons, water shark bombs, water prisons. I loved all that stuff, especially when either Kisame or The Second Hokage were performing them.

Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« on: August 17, 2018, 09:21:04 PM »
Some Bs I wrote in like fifteen minutes. I don't think im gonna last very long lol.

What if I told you all heroes don't wear capes?

Of course, I wouldn't have to tell you that. I'm sure you know that by now. I mean to be honest though, if cops and firefighters were actually wearing capes along with those already uncomfortable looking uniforms of theirs they would look pretty stupid in my opinion. Plus, are capes even a necessary form of cloth? A waste of thread if you ask me.

But that's besides the point...

So instead of me telling you all heroes don't wear capes, what if I told you instead that one of those cape-less heroes was a sociopath that murdered his girlfriend in cold bold because he thought she was a total evil bitch and an unneeded cancer to God's green earth!?

No, it wasn't me you retard! I would never do such a despicable thing like murdering someone in cold blood. Are you kidding me? I'm usually a bit lukewarm when it comes ripping the heads off of my victims...

Alright alright. I can feel those judgmental eyes of yours hawking me down. I got a story to tell, and if you're gonna pass some righteous judgement on me, at least let me tell it first.

Wow all this time and I didn't even notice the title change lol. To be honest, I never read the entirety of the original topic name, so this definitely makes a lot more sense.

@Lego: Other than getting satisfaction from contributing to something I feel is really important to me, this is pretty much volunteer work for me, unfortunately.

Besides who cares about cash when the magic of the internet provides all of your basic needs for free!? 

Very interesting concept you going on here. I enjoyed it, though there are some things I want to touch on.

Gilbert is depicted as powerless in the beginning of the story, and yet in his interaction with Marmaduke he displays an ability to generate a force of wind in a punch strong enough (That didn't even connect I might add) to blow away the coach's hat from his head. I understand that you were probably going for a cool/funny moment here, but I personally find that to be somewhat of a inconsistency. Although this is me applying logic to a story where logic probably won't be on the forefront, which is fine, especially considering the lighthearted Scott Pilgrim angle you're going for.

I found it kinda weird that Gilbert was in a rush to the arcade with the intentions of looking for Noa, and the first thing he does is play some Good Ol' Street Fighter 4 on a arcade machine (But to be fair, as a big fan of the street fighter series and an avid lover of fighting games period, I probably would've done the same thing, lol.) I probably would just add a sentence or two describing Gilbert looking for Noa at first with no luck whatsoever, and then transition to him sitting down to play street fighter.

His Game Save/Load ability is quite cool as a concept. Can he do it as many times as he like, or is there a limit to it? Is the well the only save point? Also, you mentioned that it took the destruction of the earth for him to discover his power, but we don't see much of an instance of this. Maybe you could've shown this phenomenon via a quick flashback or two, rather than just telling us? I think doing so would help the establishment of the plot feel more important and dramatic, and convince the reader that beneath all of this silliness there's some actual real ish going down that our boy Gilbert needs to handle fast or else.

Other than that, I like what you got so far. It's funny and silly, and the majority of the characters at the moment have distinct personalities that makes them feel different from one another, which I can appreciate. I loved all the little references to video games and arcades you threw in here. Not gonna lie, I was crying when I read that whole Esports has been kinda dead line. That was good stuff man!

If I were to add one more thing though, I would say watch out for typos, improper grammar, and formatting. While not glaring, there were quite a few instances of these things popping up in your story, so be sure to keep that in mind when you're working on your story in the future.

That's all for now mah guy. Keep writing! And I'll be sure to stick around to see where you take this story.       


Manga Creations / Re: MRverse: The Return of the Drifter
« on: August 16, 2018, 11:14:20 PM »
Yeah pretty much man. Though, maybe "changing MRverse as we know it" might've been the wrong way to put it.
Maybe taking the universe in a different direction/doing some things that hasn't been done yet might be a more accurate statement. Eh, I got time to map things out. Certainly not something I'll be accomplishing within the next year, that's for sure.

Manga Creations / Re: Darling be Home Soon
« on: August 16, 2018, 08:43:22 PM »
Reading one of your older works as a writer will always be a cringe-fest, but inevitably helpful in the long run. I'm sure this story is full of mistakes that we didn't see back then, but regardless I still consider it a pretty good story.

Also, MR Tan vs C-Kret probably didn't translate well on paper at the time, but hey, when you imagine it in motion it reads pretty epic still. 

Comics and other Gallery / Re: Miscellaneous Arts and Sketchbook
« on: August 16, 2018, 08:32:26 PM »
Yo some of those hands look so damn realistic. You're right dude, by the time you reach one thousand you'll have it already mastered. Good stuff indeed, Lego! 

Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« on: August 16, 2018, 08:27:25 PM »
That's a real interesting concept you got going there. It left me wondering if the ghostwriting and the mention of magic and dreams was metaphorical or actually literal. Maybe I missed something while reading it. Good stuff nonetheless.

And I'm glad you enjoyed my older works. I'm not sure which "scary story you're referring to (I'm thinking the one about the girl who comes home and finds her father slaughtered by her own mother???), but I'm sure I've could've wrote it better, especially considering I'm way better than I was all those years ago.

I should probably keep the pot stirring with stories of my own. I'll try to whip something up tomorrow. 

Manga Creations / Re: MRverse: The Return of the Drifter
« on: August 16, 2018, 08:16:01 PM »
Haha thanks a bunch Lego for the review. I'll respond to some of those points.

Fortis was the one who wrote his character wielding a glock, along with an assortment of other weapons that he informed me of. Though admittedly, yes, I am a fan of a good Ol' Glock as well.

Clang instead of bang would make more sense. I'll keep that in mind for future reference.

I think talking to Mahlua on Discord on the regular helped me a lot when it came to writing our dialogue exchanges. I'm big on dialogue in general, and usually I like to pay close attention to the way people speak in real life and incorporate those little intricacies of everyday speech into my writing whenever possible.

Yeah, pacing was and still is definitely a demon of mine when writing this piece, and in my writing in general. I personally hated the way Greentrap's portion came out the most out of everyone, and because I couldn't figure out how to write it better I left it as is. I do feel as though I'm getting close to figuring out how to maintain a consistent pace with my work, though. I just gotta keep writing and eventually it'll come to me.

Yeah, Fro's origin is definitely complicated stuff. The origin story is next on my list, and hopefully and I'll have everything mapped out by the time I decide to finally write it. If not, I'm perfectly fine throwing crap at a wall and seeing what sticks.

And as far as a sequel is concerned, I wouldn't call them direct sequels, but every MRverse story I plan to write from here on out (with a few exceptions of course) will continue this narrative I'm trying to tell. It's just that because what I have planned feels so ambitious and so big, I have to spread everything out into a multitude of stories that will ultimately lead into one final story that will change MRverse as we know it. Well, that's how I envision it at least lol.   

Manga Writer workshop / Re: 1 for all, all for 1
« on: August 15, 2018, 07:49:43 PM »
That's why I always copy my longer text frequently when I'm writing in the post window on my phone, and save it to a blank google doc just to be on the extra safe side. Can never be too safe. 

Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« on: August 15, 2018, 07:45:14 PM »
Haha! I said that years ago when I had ZERO confidence in my own work. I'm much more confident in my ability now.
I don't have much to show for my skills in terms of recent work, but if you're interested i can link you some MRverse stories I wrote recently that pretty much displays where I'm at right with my skills currently.

Also, as far as advice, I would start the dialogue with some tags to introduce who's talking. A simple, "Emma asked" or "Jayce said" would do wonders to ease any potential confusion on who was talking in the beginning.

And yeah go for it man! I would love for you to finish this so I can understand what's going exactly lol.

@Lego: What the hell dawg!? Came out of nowhere while I was formulating my reply haha! Nice to see you again and thanks. That action sequence is a start for a potential full length project coming soon.

Took another look at the Character section. Definitely looks a lot more polished and organized. I think there was a typo somewhere in MR Tan's bio. I think you put "He" instead of "Her" in one of the sentences if I remembered correctly. Other than that, good work, Loremaster!

And Suuper, yes, you definitely need to join in on the fun man. I'm telling you it's a lot of fun just being involved in the canon and participating by reading other members' stories and writing your own. I still remember the excitement I had when I found out that my avatar was being used in a MRverse story. Been hooked ever since.

Alright, so I just did a write up for the Fighters Division organization bio this morning. I was gonna wait until I got the character bios finished as well, but I figured I might as well post this up and get it out the way. It's somewhat of a rough draft, so Coryn, feel free to make any adjustments as you see fit.

The MR Fighters Division (MRFD)

The Fighters Division official building is a gym located in a secluded spot in the Pub District. It was formerly owned by Coryn, who used it as a secret training ground. However, after his rebirth as a full fledged scientist, he abandoned the building in favor of his own underground science division, and eventually leased the property to Fro, who now uses it to host MRFD meetups. The gym itself is coated in a sparkly light blue with orange hardwood flooring. To the right of the main entrance are two doors that lead into locker rooms, one for each gender. Beyond that point are restrooms and shower areas that members can utilize when needed. It also should be noted that the division is sponsored by the Science Division, and since Coryn still has ties to the gym itself, the gym plays host to numerous trap doors that lead into the underground science division, trap doors that Coryn is in the process of sealing up.

The MRFD is a training program/hub designed to school the basics of combat to newbie raiders who decide to enroll into the program. The division is headed by Fro, who is the Division’s “Head Coach” and handles all of the training regiments. The Division operates four days a week, with each day dedicated to a particular area of training. The training schedule is as follows:

Day One: General lectures on combat and other related subjects. Trainees are subjected to sit in desks that are completely made of hair and watch Fro draw terribly on a whiteboard and ramble on for three hours straight. Pop quizzes are usually given at the end.

Day Two: General exercises and combat practice. Trainees are required to perform a series of intensives workout regimens and cannot leave until all of their circuits have been completed. Workouts are usually varied and never stay the same.

Day Three: One on One Sparring. Members are pit against one another in friendly sparring matches. The matches operate on a round robin format, in which the rounds do not end until each trainee has fought against one another at least once. There are two rounds in total.

Day Four: Specialist day. Trainees are required to complete a set of unique exercises that are tailored to improve specific strengths for each individual trainee. The exercises vary from trainee to trainee.

Members of the MRFD are also required to adhere to the official uniform policy, which consists of a purple tracksuit for gym related activities, and a field uniform consisting of a black sleeveless hoodie with a golden emblem of a fist clutching either a pencil or a paintbrush (dependent on the Raider’s main occupation), dark green combat trousers, black fingerless combat gloves, and a purple armband with the letters MRFD labeled in gold. On top of that, members are also required to memorize and follow the division’s official rules, all two hundred and seventy nine of them (most of which, are absolutely ridiculous). The Division currently has six members and they are as follows:

Fronomenal- Head Coach

Mahluaand Milk- Assistant Coach

Fortis Scriptor- Trainee

Eukocar- Trainee

Greentrap- Trainee

Filia- Trainee     

Manga Art Gallery / Re: Echo Archives
« on: August 07, 2018, 02:42:11 PM »
Beautiful artwork as always, Echo. Welcome back!

As a general rule of thumb, whenever Fro says he's going to get something done on a particular day, assume he means the day after.

So I was under the assumption that the majority of the holiday stories were located in the writer's workshop, so that's where I did most of my digging. I'm sure there's more lying around in another section, but for now I'll post the ones I found so far.

Dude I didn't even know there was a second episode for WTMR. I'm salty...

Finding the holiday stories will take some work, but digging those up shouldn't be a problem for me. I'll round those up by the end of tomorrow. What sucks though is that when I was still going through the canon stories I found the majority of the holiday stories by coincidence, and I forgot how I found every single one of them.  :push:

The Fighters Division organization bio will be included in the list of Member characters bios I'll be adding to the guide. Should have those done by next week or so.


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