Messages

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Manga Art Gallery / IndigoDoll90's Artwork

« on: November 01, 2023, 04:45:27 PM »

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break Room / Re: The Status Of Our Fellow Raiders

« on: November 01, 2023, 04:32:53 PM »

Well did some talking and I was definitely overreacting about the managers at work thinking I'm stupid. Like I said I have a tendency to overreact. I'm not the best at adding color to my artwork but definitely something else I need to practice on. And definitely could work on turning some of my concept art into something finished. Also been working on figure drawing and poses like you guys mentioned. Will have to post some of my stuff I've been working on lately.

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break Room / Re: The Status Of Our Fellow Raiders

« on: October 31, 2023, 10:11:05 AM »

I might be overreacting about the managers at work. And while I'm good at drawing faces and expressions could work more on poses especially when drawing on the computer. Use to be I would look up action poses and try to draw them but haven't done that in so long might be worth getting back into until I can think of something else.

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break Room / Re: The Status Of Our Fellow Raiders

« on: October 30, 2023, 01:30:16 PM »

I hate to do this but feel like I need to vent a little. Maybe I'm overreacting but lately been feeling like the managers at work think I'm stupid. Also though it's a good start where I'm working I've been there for over 4 years now and worried I'm going to be stuck where I am. I want to be an artist but I feel like while I got some talent I have no brains to go with it and once people realize that they won't care for my artwork. Also not entirely sure how to make money off my artwork anyway and most of what I do is rough sketching and concept art anyway. Also haven't drawn much lately since I can't think of much these days. I'm kind of worried I'm losing my creativity and not sure what to do. Other than being creative I have no other talents and I really want to have talent more than anything else.

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break Room / Re: Giving Up

« on: October 12, 2023, 02:45:32 PM »

Well I am trying to improve on keeping my apartment clean. Also being the tech obsessed person that I am been looking into apps to help me get organized and stuff. Still not entirely sure how well it will all work. Still kind of struggling coming to terms with ADHD a little. I guess as long as I can learn to cope with the symptoms that might be good enough but sometimes I wish there was a cure. Maybe then I could have a more exciting life like I want.

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break Room / Re: Peptalk

« on: October 09, 2023, 05:57:21 AM »

Thanks my self esteem has been rather low lately. Not entirely sure I believe all this right now though but maybe some day I'll get there.

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break Room / Re: Giving Up

« on: October 09, 2023, 05:54:06 AM »

Thanks but still feel so bad that I let it get so messy. My boyfriend keeps telling me not to be so hard on myself and that I'm actually smart but I'm just not seeing it. He doesn't seem to get it anyway. I told him how the Dr says I have ADHD but he doesn't seem to think I really have it. While it would be nice if I didn't have ADHD the Dr is more educated and I'm really starting to think the Dr is right. Maybe I should just tell my BF that I actually do actually have ADHD. Maybe then he would stop thinking so highly of me. No one has ever thought so highly of me anyway.

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break Room / Re: Giving Up

« on: October 07, 2023, 03:10:48 PM »

Yeah it does take a whole to build habits. Still even though I was able to finally get the apartment clean I feel so bad that I let it get so messy and need some help to push myself to get started on cleaning.

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break Room / Re: Giving Up

« on: October 06, 2023, 05:20:54 PM »

Thanks managed to get a little sleep so starting to feel a little better. I have a tendency to get depressed when tired. I really think you got a point about setting smaller more attainable goals and usually that seems to help me. And maybe you're right and dream isn't the right word because the word makes me think of the dreams we have at night. Maybe a better word is a goal. And I seem your sketch survival thread and just might join in and work my way up to doing my own. I kind of hate to give up on the things I enjoy but been still kind of struggling with my self esteem and doesn't help that I'm not the most responsible.

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break Room / Giving Up

« on: October 06, 2023, 11:24:26 AM »

Maybe I'm just saying this because I'm tired but I feel like I'll never be a great artist. I hate to give up on my dream but lately I've come to realize dreams don't really come true. Sorry if I sound depressed probably doesn't help that I'm so tired.

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MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2023

« on: September 25, 2023, 07:36:00 AM »

I still don't see how ADHD doesn't change who I am. Anyway I still would like to be an artist but seems doubts keep holding me back still. Doesn't help that though my Dr stopped saying I have Autism and ADHD he is now saying I have anxiety and depression. I really need to stop seeing him especially since with my new insurance I can't afford seeing him not to mention he keeps putting me down when my self esteem is low enough.

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MR Pub / Re: Chit Chat 2023

« on: September 06, 2023, 05:55:22 AM »

Artist do tend to be their own worst critic including me. Doesn't help that I still have some trauma and low self esteem due to being labeled ADHD and autistic. Really not sure what to do about that.

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Develop Your Story / Manga Diary

« on: July 13, 2023, 10:20:59 AM »

Kind of wanting to get some input on this idea of mine for a short manga before I decide to commit to it. The story is based somewhat on my own life.

Twenty two year old Blance Kindig is a creative, energetic young woman who aspires to be a great artist. However, others around her often misunderstand her causing her to often doubt herself. As she learns ways to overcome her low self esteem she begins to become more confident in herself and her creative abilities.

Sorry if this is kind of a short summary but I'm still coming up with ideas and kind of busy right now.

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break Room / Re: I'm Back

« on: July 07, 2023, 03:56:14 PM »

Yeah its been hard but i feel it was for the best. Like i said he was so stupid and wouldnt give me much affection. Yeah every creative type is different. Though I got a lot in common with my dad we express our creativity in different way. My Dad's main way of expressing himself is through building model cars and stuff like that of all things while I mostly draw and write. I just hope this confidence last and I can find a way to stop these thoughts for good. I'm starting to challenge these thoughts that I'm stupid with research like I mentioned earlier I looked up more on the symptoms of autism and even took a test online to see if I might have it which said I most likely don't. Also I think the thoughts are a way for me to worry and get attention. When I was little I would get attention when I was sad and worried but not much when I was happy.

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break Room / I'm Back

« on: July 07, 2023, 07:45:00 AM »

Sorry it's been a while since I've last posted on here. Ended up breaking up with my BF sadly. I tried telling myself he's just misunderstood and shy but the more I got to know him the more it occurred to me he actually is stupid. Also he wasn't the most affectionate and just couldn't get any attention from him. I thought I'd come back here so I can be around other creative types. Maybe it will help with the doubts I sometimes have. Was having a really hard time with doubts and constantly thinking I have autism so I started looking up the symptoms of autism and even took a quick online test to get an idea if I might have autism and according to my score I likely don't have autism. Knowing that I may not have autism has seemed to help some with the constant worry that I might have it. I'm starting to think I'm different in the fact that I'm creative. In that case maybe I'm different in a good way.