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Manga Writers => Manga Creations => Topic started by: legomaestro on September 23, 2010, 06:44:05 PM


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Title: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 23, 2010, 06:44:05 PM



BLACK PINE H: MR

Okay, I’ve started with the beta-chapters, I’ve got a small idea to run this thing on. Don’t expect a perfect description of your ‘avatars’ in the story but I’ll try my best. I can promise some amount of horror and I’ll try to keep with the same style of the other chapters in the original story: Fast-paced and dialogue run…

This is meant for you to enjoy but also to interact with by making suggestions and commenting. I’ll need them in the beginning stages to get a clear picture of how to go on. Remember I don’t need long reviews, even single words could help me. After all, I began the project with a few five phrases. :D


CHARACTERS: Totsificer,  Doodler (AnimeDoodler) , Coryn , Aero, Sai, Kaijin (Monster in japanese) Litt , Lirne, Matsu, Lego
Feel free to ask to change you're names. I'll do it so long as i haven't gone far.

OVERALL PLOT SUMMARY: An investigation around a blast site turns into another outbreak of zombies when a secret underground bunker that survived the first explosion (See the original story) is discovered


PROLOGUE

    The students who escaped left a horror, thinking that the terrible story in Kuro Matsu had ended, but they were wrong.
    The UN and other secret organizations needed to clean up this mess, and a massive investigation was pulled underway. Things got tense.
    On the field, random people from across the world found themselves tiredly working together on the troublesome investigation, thinking that the storm had blown over. But they were wrong.


The following story happens AFTER Kuro Matsu Central Hospital imploded (If you want to know more read the story by clicking the link, otherwise a couple of things may not make sense at all).

The story begins and ends in the period of 12 hours.



STAGE SUMMARY: Doodler gets an official e-mail recruiting her for a mysterious mission.

STAGE ZERO A: Recruits!


***START MESSAGE***
TO:  (Ex) Captain Doodler
RE: OPERATION SKELETON-CLOSET

(Ex) Captain AnimeDoodler,

By the power invested into me by The Honorable Ambassador, who in turn was directed by The President, I hereby order you to be part of the investigation concerning the event that occurred in the township, Kuro Matsu, in the hospital/facility: Kuro Matsu Central Hospital.

Any more information is restricted: you'll find out more when you arrive.

I can only share that you’re required to control any potential outbreak of this news, and control of any possible ‘dangerous’ situations. You are ordered to call people you trust to come on this journey.

You are also ordered to work with the six other random operatives chosen from around the globe.
As compensation, you will be wired a sum of 1,499,000 USD and all of your minor misconducts in the military will be expunged, you will also be rewarded in other ways.

We expect you on site within 7 hours of receiving this email.
***END MESSAGE***

    Doodler sighed after reading the e-mail and picked up her cellphone. She dialed a number and waited a few seconds-
     “Hello?”
     “Hey, Aero?”
     “Oh, Doodler... wait, you don't need to ask me anything. I got an e-mail too. I phoned Coryn and apparently he’s already on the site of the incident. He just happened to be trekking through that region.”
     “OK… Later, then.”
     “Yeah… Bye.”





STAGE SUMMARY: Sai is recruited

STAGE ZERO B: Visit for Sai

    The large wooden structure was so majestic and artistic it almost looked royal. The two agents even mistook it for a mansion at first glance, since the trees around it made it bigger than it was. But there was no time to sight-see. They knocked on the door frame and the man they were looking for, Sai, walked into view, looking bored as he drank a cup of tea from a wooden mug,
     “What is it?”
     “You’re country needs you.”
    Sai chuckled, “Nice. Respect for a disowned assassin.”
     “You’re the closest to this operation, and we need people who aren’t too public.”
    Sai looked at them both, “I’m on a holiday, you know. Give me one good reason to come with you on some unknown mission.”
    They told him three good reasons.




BLACK PINE MR

STAGE SUMMARY: Another boring day investigating the site of what used to be Kuro Matsu Central, that is until Aero comes with troubling news to Anna May, that an investigation team has gone missing...

STAGE ZERO C: Missing Team

24 September 2007, 12:16 PM

    AnimeDoodler walked up the winding dusty road leading up to Kuro Matsu Central hospital, which was now a black smoking hole of silence. The explosion had completely destroyed it almost completely, leaving charred blocks and pieces within it. It made her wonder what she was doing there, even though she knew exactly why.
    She slung her sheathed broadsword over her shoulder, keeping her hands in her pockets as she arrived at the busy carpark. A jeep roared past packed with soldiers, and at that moment the sunny day slowly dimmed.
     Doodler looked up, "Damn, It's going to rain."
     Through an ear-piece she heard some of the ruckus of activity:
     “Section 23 Clear! Nothing living detected!”
     “Sir! We need new scanners, and our technicians need replacements!”
     “Damn this work… what do they expect us to find in all this ash…”
     “I agree, soldier.” Doodler spoke through the chatter of many voices. The voices all remained silent at once, and the man replied,
     “M-my apologies Captain!”
Doodler smiled, “There’s no need to be so formal. I mean, I’ve brought a sword to work. Does it look like any crisis is about to happen?”
     “No Ma'am!” The soldier replied, still in a tense manner. AnimeDoodler shook her head,
     “Continue. Whoever you are.”
    She removed her earpiece and looked at the crater. Smoke still rose from the remains. Trucks, cranes and people moved around the area, checking each and every section within the wide hole. They were ordered around by teams of scientists and soldiers, and in the distance of the whole thing, in the background were tall pillars of blue flare smoke.
    The entire radius of Kuro Matsu’s mountains were had blue flare smoke, indicating the area of search for survivors… or possibly escaped zombies.
    Zombies… Unbelievable-
     “Hey, Captain?”
     “Hm?Oh, it’s you, Aero. For goodness sake don’t talk too seriously I’m tired of acting like there’s something happening here.”
    Aero looked sweaty as he walked over, he was carrying a digital pad and had headset on,
     “There’s a problem.” He panted.
     “Finally, something to do.” Anna placed the sheathed sword in the ground,
     “What’s up?”
     “Group 24 went missing.” Aero showed Anna the digital pad, “It consists of five members, one of which is Professor Kaijin”
     “That creepy guy? What happened?” Anna held up the pad and scrolled through the details,
     “They’re the ones that went down in the center of the blast hole. Professor Kaijin said he wanted to recover some sensitive material from the Blast Proof Bunker.”
    Anna’s eyes widened, “Blast Proof… Bunker?”
     “Um… yeah?”
     She took off towards the crater and Aero followed,
     “What’s up?”
     “How come I’m only hearing about this now? In all my mission briefings nothing was mentioned about a bunker. FIVE different teams have been here and none reported this.”
     “I had no idea it was top-secret. When Professor Kaijin mentioned it, it seemed normal to me.”
    Anna went down a make-shift path down the ashy, blocky remains of the hospital. The yellow-black metal walkway led down to a rickety elevator, which looked like a metal cage. It seemed to go down into a small hole.
     “Got your gun?”
     “Very funny…  Should I call Coryn?”
     “It’s okay, I may just be overreacting.”
    She wasn’t overreacting. Things were about to get really bad.
Title: Re: Zombie Situation Quiz
Post by: AnimeDoodler on September 23, 2010, 07:15:56 PM
oooo, nice ^^ suspenseful >D

and if tis easier, you can just call me Doodle, or Doodler, everyone else here does O-o...lol
Title: Re: Zombie Situation Quiz
Post by: Coryn on September 23, 2010, 07:18:17 PM
sorry but stories still go in the story section. rename the topic as you will
Title: Re: MR: Zombie Situation
Post by: Coryn on September 23, 2010, 07:26:14 PM
nice work lego! nice exposition for the story. love how monster ended up as some creepy guy. will be looking forward to the rest.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on September 23, 2010, 07:49:37 PM
Uber Lol the creepy guy suits me so well... Though i have always been the funny one too xD.

Looking forward to more... and myself ROFLCOPTER :P
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on September 23, 2010, 08:20:47 PM
nice lego, cant wait to see what happens
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: SaiHawkeye on September 24, 2010, 01:00:20 AM
It's very good so far. I like the details and some of the conversations. The way you introduce characters is alright as well. The point that needs some work is creating the atmosphere of emergency. I feel that even more suspense in the setup and more militarization/mobilization would help make the atmosphere more urgent.

One word I'm thinking of right now is grungy. There doesn't need to be signs of zombies yet but there should be a chill sent down our spine as we continue reading.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on September 24, 2010, 01:02:56 AM
/agree with sai on the grunge and reveal of zombies
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 24, 2010, 03:02:24 AM
Very good, I like it! Although I'm not sure if anyone'd call me 'Toasty' in real life.

I loved 'Anna May'. And I chuckled about the name of the Operation.

Oh oh oh, and an Edit: Please don't let me be the weak, coward one, just a very stupid one which jumps up and runs towards the zombies... With a sniper. And he manages to survive (until, of course, he gets bitten and becomes a zombie too) because of his friends, which have had to help them.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 24, 2010, 01:35:13 PM
@ Doodler. Thanks :D , and i'll change the name accordingly.


@ Coryn sorry about that and thanks. I'm relieved that you liked it.

@ Monster  Glad you liked it XD... but... um... what does ROFLCOPTER mean?

@ aero Thanks aero

@ Sai As you know, I'll definately work on that.

@ Toasty thanks. Though her name is changing. Honestly i'm not sure you'll get a sniper at your age... but who knows what will happen? ... and i thought you wanted to be a zombie ASAP... ? Anyway doesn't matter. I'll go with what seems best.


Thanks everyone. I'll just touch up on this chapter and continue from there, with other characters coming into focus.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 24, 2010, 01:45:26 PM
You DON'T know what a Roflcopter is?!

...Lego, Lego, Lego. You have much to learn.

(http://www.roflcopter.net/roflcopter.gif)
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 24, 2010, 01:45:59 PM
No kidding.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 24, 2010, 01:48:50 PM
Oh, and about getting a sniper...

...

...

...You'll figure something.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 24, 2010, 01:54:34 PM
could be he just proved to be a naturally great sharpshooter despite his young age and was "adopted" by the military when his skills were discovered.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 24, 2010, 02:01:00 PM
That's entirely possible, it being a manga and all...
 I'll see if that works but i'm sure it will. You might have just been saved, Toasty.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 24, 2010, 02:01:13 PM
Or I just found it at a weapon storage.

Heck, maybe santa gave it to me! Might have looked something like this...

(http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/129142928746241932.jpg)
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on September 24, 2010, 08:03:36 PM
ahahah kari XD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 25, 2010, 04:41:09 AM
I know, right?!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 26, 2010, 01:18:43 PM
I had a case of Writer's Block but i burst through it quite suddenly. The story has completely revealed itself and i know what Monster is up to with his diabolical scheme and how things will play out in general.

As always, enjoy the chapter and don't read too much into things. Tell me what you think with even with as few words as possible.


PLOT SUMMARY: AnimeDoodler and Aero descend into the Bunker. They try to call in backup but after some confused shouting and an explosion radio contact is cut off. Before they can even process this fact they're faced by hundreds of bloodthirsty zombies.


STAGE 1: Gracious Hosts

     The cage-like elevator rattled as it sunk underground. Only a single, sad light provided any vision and Doodler and Aero were starting to get tense. There was a wet smell and the walls that the light shone on slowly changed from dirt, to cement, and finally-
     “Metal…” Doodler whispered.
     “Yeah, looks really tough too.” Aero brought up his data pad, “Wow, we’re like 500 metres deep.”
     Then the ‘walls’ disappeared and the elevator descended into a wide open space. Doodler and Aero looked around as they saw different floors filled with metal pipes, spheres, containers and big consoles. There was a constant low hum of activity. The space overall was like a giant square container.
     “Wow…” Aero whispered.
     “Okay, this qualifies as big news. Contact Coryn, tell him to round up fifteen teams to come down and search this place. Then inform HQ what we’ve found.”
     “Yup.” Aero tapped his headset and used the data pad to tune into a frequency. Suddenly the lights flickered, followed by a deep rumble. Aero grabbed the cage to gain his footing.
     “What the-?”
     There was another rumble, and then voices shouted over the radio, they were unclear and full of static,
     “What … hell? Cease fire!”
     “Friendly fire friendly fire!”
     “Who’s chopper fleet is that-?”
     “Watch out!”
     There was another deep rumble that shook the elevator and the voices disappeared to a river of static.
Aero looked at Doodler, “We have a problem.”
Doodler didn’t reply, she just suddenly drew her broadsword, almost knocking Aero in the head with the pommel,
     “Hey- watch it-”
     “Pull out your gun, NOW.” Doodler breathed.
     “I don’t have one. You know I don’t use guns at all.” Aero took out a combat knife, “Why-?”
     But then he knew why she was acting so strange. The lighting in the higher areas was so bright that the floor of the whole space had been cast in shadow. Now that the elevator was finally reaching the floor, Aero could see the crowd of… things… walking on all fours. They clearly used to  be human, and wore dirty grey coveralls…
     “Wait. Are those-?”
     “Don’t think we’ll have time to ask.”
     The elevator landed, and the cage opened with a loud metallic groan, and then the zombies looked up and screamed, then they started running as a whole group towards the two. They’re movements were so instant  that two of them were already on them within three seconds, hardly enough time to make the elevator go up again.
     Doodler stepped forwards and slashed sideways. The thing’s head and body were sliced deeply and it tumbled sideways into the elevator. Its companion had attacked Aero, who ducked and shouldered it over him, making it smack into the elevator wall, then he flung the knife and it stabbed through its skull deeply. It coughed once and remained still.
     Aero was surprised, “They’re bodies must’ve really decayed.”
He turned and took out his last knife, facing the advancing hoard of zombies.
     “Doodler?”
     “I know...”
     “We’re good at this but but…”
     “I know… Fingers crossed, right?” She smiled nervously.
     The two faced off on the hundreds of zombies. In five seconds they would be buried in bloodthirsty beasts.
     - But there was a roar of an engine, and a stabbing light shot over the zombies heads. Some of them turned to look and Doodler and Aero blinked in the light.
     A vehicle roared through the zombies, crushing the things until finally reaching Doodler and Aero. It was a big, heavy off road vehicle, with four seats and an exposed tailgate. On the tail gate there was a young teenager carrying a sniper with ease. Whilst on one of the four seats sat a terrified school girl, while a familiar face drove the vehicle itself,
     “You’re… Sai, right?” Aero said as he slid into a seat.
     “Get in, we’ll share later.”
     Doodler slid over the hood of the car and sat in the shotgun seat. Sai roared off just as a zombie jumped through the air with a howl.
     The vehicle roared along the metal floor, its engine echoed throughout the space. Aero looked back to see the zombies were keeping a regular pace running after the car. The kid with the sniper didn’t seem to care, though. He just stared ahead.
     Soon a hallway was revealed. Next to it was another cage-like elevator. Aero and Doodler could just make out the form of a tired looking individual with a backpack and a gun. A shotgun, as it turned out.
     “Hey, Coryn!”
     Sai stopped the car with a short skid. Coryn shook his head and wheezed as he stepped up onto the tailgate, the car roared off as he spoke,
     “Don’t even think about going back up there. Phew!” He wiped his brow. I like a little action but things were way too intense.”
     Just as he said that there was a loud rumbling and a tongue of fire blasted down the elevator shaft he had come down from, followed by a rain of heavy rocks. Sai passed through the hallway just as rocks rolled to block it. The Hosts screamed in frustration.

Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 26, 2010, 01:28:08 PM
Wow, nice chapter! I love the way they met up with Sai and Coryn, but... What were they doing there in the first place?! I guess we'll find out.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 26, 2010, 01:31:24 PM
Thanks. did you notice someone carrying a sniper hm??? XD
For Sai, yes you will. For Coryn he came down from an elevator... That was what i implied. I'll make it clearer though.

(Oh and on another note i've made sketches of Okuno and Ishikawa i was hoping you'd make your own versions of...)
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 26, 2010, 01:33:32 PM
nice chapter! some grammar things though....hm... towards the beginning you have rumble twice. at the end you should but an "a" before tongue and somewhere you had doodle slide over the boot of the vehicle? boot isnt exactly a word we in america we use for a car part. explain please?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 26, 2010, 01:38:25 PM
Yeah, the sketches! I will make them, of course. I'm just so damn busy!

...Wait, if I make a list of the things I have to draw, I might make them all before tomorrow. I'll try.

And yeah, I did notice that someone... I just couldn't place my finger on who that could be.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 26, 2010, 01:39:38 PM
@ Coryn Thanks. And Ugh... sorry... i didn't correct the first draft where i made that 'boot' mistake.
I meant to say over the front of the vehicle (Over the engine-block?). Let me fix..

@ Toasty thanks. If it's too much you can always do it later.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 26, 2010, 01:49:20 PM
the word you would be looking for is "hood"
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on September 26, 2010, 01:55:12 PM
Lol'ed at sai's appearance xD. Nice stuff lego!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on September 26, 2010, 02:38:08 PM
yeah hoods the correct word... and i allways thought the boot was the trunk O_o

anyways nice chapter lego this is getting really interesting
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 26, 2010, 02:52:32 PM
i guess i have heard the trunk referred to as the boot. but what's described isnt exactly a car. more of a truck thing.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on September 26, 2010, 10:47:25 PM
nice lego!!! love ti so far and am glad to still be alive -w-
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 26, 2010, 10:54:31 PM
cant imagine you'd die yet anyways. i mean toasty is still alive after all.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on September 26, 2010, 10:56:20 PM
ahahah XD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on September 26, 2010, 10:56:40 PM
I'm still wondering how most of us make our appearances, like when I watch an anime of a manga I really liked but my favorite character doesn't appear until later, I am excited for further installments.

Nice job lego. 8)
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on September 26, 2010, 11:17:56 PM
Huhuhuh I really want to see the freaky myself appear too!

Wanting more here too lego! xD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: SaiHawkeye on September 26, 2010, 11:59:21 PM
You use "they're" instead of "their" quite often.

The story has a fast pace but introduces the characters fairly well now. I can't wait to see the next chapter. =)

(Oh and on another note i've made sketches of Okuno and Ishikawa i was hoping you'd make your own versions of...)

Are you saying you want us to draw Okuno and Ishikawa?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 27, 2010, 12:08:25 AM
he was addressing toasty.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: SaiHawkeye on September 27, 2010, 12:11:32 AM
Oh, thank god! I was like "oh crap, more drawing? >.<
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on September 27, 2010, 12:32:26 AM
Niiiiice! I have to second everyone on waiting to see what happens next...I mean, they're locked inside of a hospital full of zombies, and there's still characters to be introduced! Kya XD I just hope that I'll be able to help more than hurt XD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 27, 2010, 12:34:56 AM
actually matsu they're in an a huge bunker thats deep below the crater that used to be a hospital.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 27, 2010, 05:17:24 AM
@ Coryn Ah, yes, Hood. That's the word alright. I've fixed it.

@ Monster i was going for coolness but hey, lol carries much more reaction. Thanks! And don't worry Kaijin will be turning up somewhere soon... With as much creepeness and wierdness (and evil geniusness) as needed

@ Aero thanks, *phew!* relieved that it's interesting. It will get a little horrific soon though.

@ AnimeDoodler like Coryn said the deaths don't happen yet. But that doesn't mean you won't survive... or will it? XD I can't spoil it, though. You just have to keep you're fingers crossed...

@ Thanks Litt! I hope your appearance won't be anti-climatic. But it'll definately happen soon!


@ Sai thanks for pointing that out i'll fix it. I'm glad you liked it. Next chapter will be up pretty soon.

@ Mastu Thanks and yeah it's actually a huge bunker.And we'll see how useful you are. Doodler's sketch might've just saved you from being zombie fodder... The flame thrower she drew looked really inspiring...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 27, 2010, 03:34:25 PM
*An MR member dies today... lalalalala*
I might slow down a little in terms of posting chapters. Got some stuff to handle. The material is there for sure though and i'll definately reach an end. The project is looking like um... Ten Stages long?
Anyhow enjoy and get freaked. Any mistakes noticed will be appreciated.

PLOT SUMMARY: Sai brings the whole group to a hub-like room, where he has set up temporary base until a hacker breaks through a door. Sai gives an explanation for the events up until he found Doodler, Aero and Coryn. However The slight calm of inactivity ends horrifically.

STAGE 2: Hub Chattin’


     The metal hallway twisted every which way until finally, they reached a golden-painted door that had an electronic keypad. Sai stopped the vehicle with a gentle skid and stepped out before it even switched off,
     “Totsificer. Let’s go.”
     “Yeah okay.” The silent kid said in a surprisingly strong tone. He stepped out of the tailgate. The terrified school girl slowly stepped out as well, following Totsificer and Sai. Coryn, Aero and Doodler followed suit.
     When Sai reached the door, he opened the keypad, pressed a couple of numbers and it opened with a hiss.
     A gun greeted him. Sai walked past it without glancing at the soldier who carried it. The soldier lowered the gun as the others walked past.
     Finally they all went through, into a bright room. It was dome shaped, with clean air and many things looking like MRI machines. There were white biohazard suits on racks, guns, medical equipment on tables and machines running white boxes over conveyer belts.
     It was basically like a mixture between an airport, a hospital and a military base. (But mostly hospital-like)
     “You’ve checked these people for infection?” The soldier asked Sai as the golden door closed with a hiss.
     “There’s no need. They weren’t touched.” Sai replied as he sat down on a chair. Coryn suddenly grinned to himself and headed off towards the gun rack, while Aero tuned the dials on his datapad, trying to get a connection with the outside world.
     “Where are we with the door? Have you cracked the code yet?” Sai asked one of the soldiers.
     “The kid says he’s almost got it.” The soldier said as he waved towards a door. At that door a teenager in a black jumpsuit was fiddling with the key pad, “Just about ten minutes remaining.” The kid said without looking around.
Doodler stepped forward and spoke to Sai, “Okay, before you get comfortable give us a brief on what’s happening. We know about the Hosts, and we know an investigation Team came down here, and that you, Sai, are one of the top members involved in this investigation, like us.”
     She sheathed her broadsword, “But who are these people? And how exactly are you already here?”
Sai cracked his knuckles, “We are the other part of the investigation Team. Group 24. Working under Professor Kaijin’s orders.”
     “Huh? I thought he was a major suspect and was being interrogated about this place?”
     “I thought so too. But two high ranking officials released him, and as soon as he lost his hand cuffs he walked up to me and ordered I and four others to follow. Before I could even inquire some higher up contacted me and told me to follow the orders without question… If only I had probed further-”
     Sai leaned back, the chair tipped over, resting on two legs and at an angle, but using sheer balancing skill he kept it from toppling over,
     “-before I continue let me give you introductions,” Sai nodded towards the soldiers, “Falcon, basically a gunner.”
      He waved carelessly towards the person hacking the keypad, “-Legomaestro, hacker from the NextGen Guild. And finally Totsificer, crack sniper, also from the NextGen Guild. The fourth member… Matsurinaoi, an explosives expert, is presumed dead.”
     Doodler raised her eyebrows, “I’ve heard of her… and NextGen Guild… So that insane project to use teenagers in combat is true, huh? Continue…”
     “Yeah…”
     Sai sat the chair down properly, “we went down the elevator, and Kaijin is smiling and talking to himself. Sometimes he glared at me and said, ‘Almost right but not enough. Sad sad sad... The whole situation already annoyed me, and he kept on being random…”
     “...We finally reached the bottom and it was clear. There was that truck waiting for us and Kaijin walked into the passenger side and ordered me to drive. He directed us straight to this hallway we’ve just used without so much as a glance around. He knew the place. We could only keep quiet, as we were under express orders to aid him. We reached this door, got out of the car and we got in.”
     “...We entered this room, and Kaijin just walks on over to that door that kid is now hacking, and walks in. Before we could follow he says, “Save the kids if you can. Being eaten is an unfortunate death.” And closes the door, locking it.”
     “...We aren't using force on this door because bullets bounce dangerously off its surface and explosives wouldn’t be wise Firstly because we have no idea what the room structure is like or what gases are hanging around and Secondly, because we need them for the Hosts, of course.”
     Sai folded his arms, “That’s about it. When we were locked in I ordered Lego to start hacking and Falcon to guard, and I came back to the entrance area with Totsificer. I found this school girl half-dead and about to be eaten by the Hosts. Totsificer took some out, we picked her up and that’s when you two arrived on the scene… And now we are here. I’ve barely had time to get comfortable-”
     “It’s done!” Lego called to the group, everyone looked up as the door hissed open-
     -a zombie jumped and sunk its teeth into Lego’s face. He screamed once before it twisted its head and tore his face off.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: SaiHawkeye on September 27, 2010, 03:55:47 PM
I lol'd at the first death. =P  haha

It started off great but I got confused when random quotation marks seemed to appear in the second half of the story. It seemed like narration and spoken words were being mixed.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on September 27, 2010, 04:13:40 PM
Haha, well it seems as if you died off pretty quickly lego. I find it funny how nobody was ready for that, given there were three snipers in the room, Doodler with a broadsword, Coryn with a shotgun, and Sai being Sai. I would have expected snipers to be ready or something.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 27, 2010, 04:19:10 PM
@ Sai hehe i was hoping for that. About the qoutations i thought the narrative was too long so i was hoping to make breaks in between. I guess it didn't turn out too well. I'll fix it when i can.

@ Litt Well it was meant to be a surprise, since they were busy doing their own things. They do react quickly in the next chapter. This stage went on to make two whole stages so i've split it up.

And i did promise i'd get my character killed.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 27, 2010, 04:58:20 PM
i kinda thought it was funny the way you died. reminds me of how one of my friends will probably die actually...but that's a whole other zombie story.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 27, 2010, 05:03:20 PM
Hehe well... it was meant to be embarrasing so it's good i accomplished a little humor...

* wonders what zombie story that is... feeling insecure...*
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 27, 2010, 05:05:47 PM
the situation as my real life friends thought it would go down for us. it's not very pretty. but maybe i'll write it up sometime. would be interesting for them to see too i would imagine.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on September 27, 2010, 07:10:10 PM
nice chapter lego XD

aside from the strange quotes i would say that your death is rater short worded even though its meant to be a surprise O_o
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on September 27, 2010, 07:23:01 PM
Lawl I appeared in a flashback yay! Why bother saving the kids though... use them as bait!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on September 27, 2010, 07:26:05 PM
Hey! I count as one of the kids.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 27, 2010, 07:37:41 PM
....and?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on September 27, 2010, 07:41:17 PM
That's cold, did you get low Hero points or something? I don't wanna die there, I wanna die going out like a man. Like an anime character I would possibly look up to but know nothing about nor even know the existence of.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 27, 2010, 07:44:19 PM
i got high hero points actually. i hope to have a good run myself. and if i die for it to be the end in an act of self sacrifice that saves the remaining survivors. cause that's how i would hope to go out in real life if it had to happen.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on September 27, 2010, 07:51:48 PM
Dont worry Litt, if you die I'll be sure to kill you before u get eaten. (and then run like hell)
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on September 27, 2010, 10:57:18 PM
Wow, first death came fast...Rest in Peace, Lego
Aah, sorry about that: I thought I could still call it a hospital x_x
Why bother saving the kids though... use them as bait!
...
*swallows*
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: SaiHawkeye on September 28, 2010, 02:13:26 AM
*finds Matsu later in the story*

"Hey Matsu! We were worried about you. We had to carry out the missions, including this one, as though you were dead!" Suddenly a loud banging came from the other side of the wall. Arms of the undead reached for their source of warm crimson blood. Sai kicked Matsu into those arms and ordered the rest of the group to fall back. "Retreat! Sorry Matsu but we made the plans as though you were dead. Now you've served your purpose."
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on September 28, 2010, 03:47:05 AM
ahaha XD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 28, 2010, 07:50:08 AM
@ Coryn yeah i would be interested in seeing how it plays out. Whenever you have the time go for it!

nice chapter lego XD

aside from the strange quotes i would say that your death is rater short worded even though its meant to be a surprise O_o

Ah, well, i didn't want to be in the horror of it all. Plus the Stage became too long and i had to snip it off a little.


@ Monster glad you liked that glimpse of yourself. He'll get more airtime as the story progresses. More evil to come...

@ Litt We'll see how everything turns out, You're coming up soon.

@ Matsu, thanks! and no problem about the hospital thing.

@ Sai hey hey hey how did you know she was still alive? They're way too many psychics in this forum!

Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 28, 2010, 08:47:38 AM
the fact you said her having a flamethrower could prolong her life in the story kinda gave it away
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 28, 2010, 09:53:34 AM
Nice chapter! I was just wondering about one thing, who is this Falcon?

And thus, Lego dies. He dies a horrible death. Actually... This sounds like a nice thing to draw for me. Thanks, Lego!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 28, 2010, 10:06:48 AM
@ Coryn oh yeah... that did it.


and Thanks Toasty! Falcon is a random person. And you know what random people are used for in horrors...

And your welcome... ? ... hmm... it's odd that such a death would inspire you but by all means, go ahead XD.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 28, 2010, 10:11:11 AM
I guess you know me for a while now. Shouldn't have been that much of a surprise.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 28, 2010, 10:13:36 AM
XD well said.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on September 28, 2010, 11:29:47 PM
*finds Matsu later in the story*

"Hey Matsu! We were worried about you. We had to carry out the missions, including this one, as though you were dead!" Suddenly a loud banging came from the other side of the wall. Arms of the undead reached for their source of warm crimson blood. Sai kicked Matsu into those arms and ordered the rest of the group to fall back. "Retreat! Sorry Matsu but we made the plans as though you were dead. Now you've served your purpose."
Aah, I knew I should have tried harder to be funny...XD
I was thinking of trying to draw some of this, too...The more you think about trying to draw the graphics...ahaha...ha...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 29, 2010, 01:38:25 AM
hehe... by all means, go ahead, Matsu
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 30, 2010, 07:34:31 AM
Okay, longish stage (I like to keeping them 500 - 700 words). It may be a bit awkward in changing scenes since this adds the part i snipped off the earlier chapter. (Hence the double chapter name... and there's no pun intended in the first part of the chapter name... wait - that'd only offend me.)



STAGE SUMMARY: Zombies burst into the Hub room and attack! There's a quick slaughter, followed by the group going through the door, and into a white corridor. They're just about to go on ahead peacefully when Kaijin contacts them and gives them bad news.


STAGE 3: Hub Faceoff, Corridor Revelation

     Blood flew and the zombie began chewing on Legomaestro’s body.
     “Crap!” Coryn stepped back.
     The school girl, who had been forgotten for a while, screamed.
     Seven more zombies poured out of the open door, some crouching while others standing on the tips of their toes, fully looking like the mad things they were. They had wide open eyes that looked around hungrily, and their decayed bodies were wrapped in torn gray clothing. They screamed and howled like some nightmare choir.
     Then they attacked.
     Three ran towards Coryn, whilst the other Four went for the others in general. Their speeds were amazing.
     Coryn jumped up and back on the table of guns, and with one kick sent a bunch of pistols and clips towards the first Host that jumped. They smacked its head and it toppled, tripping up another. The third Host was on Coryn but it met the muzzle of a shotgun.
     BAM!
     Its head was mush and Coryn cocked the shotgun for more shots. Before the wasted round even landed on the floor he shot the other two Hosts point-blank in their rotten heads.
     The other four Hosts met similar fates.
     Falcon took a stance and shot two in the head, stepping to the side as Tostificer shot another. The loud roar of the sniper echoed through the room (momentarily disturbing the host who feasted on the dead hacker).
     Only one active Host remained, and it jumped towards Sai. Sai stepped back, kicked his chair up, then put his foot against its seat as it fell. At that moment the Host had run forwards, and found itself caught in the chair’s leg’s. It’s force and Sai’s foot kept the chair up
     “Doodler.” Sai said.
     “Yeah.” Doodler gripped the hilt of her sheathed broadsword.
     Sai put away his foot and ducked. The chair fell and the Host stumbled forwards. AnimeDoodler stepped forward and in one motion unsheathed the broadsword and beheaded the Host. The head rolled around opening and closing its mouth silently.
     Everyone looked at the remaining Host, who was ignorant of it’s situation. Coryn walked up to it and with one hand put the shotgun to it’s head.
     “Err?” The Host looked up.
     BAM!
     “…”
     Everyone exchanged glances and Sai nodded, “The plan is to go after Kaijin. I presume you’ll follow?”
     “There really is no choice.” Doodler carefully sheathed the broadsword, “We need info, and Kaijin has that.”
     “Okay, Aero, Coryn let’s load up and get out of here.”
     “Yes boss.” Coryn said with a small smile,
     He picked out two submachine guns and strapped them over his shoulder, after packing five pistols and ammunition into his backpack, with some grenades. The backpack now sagged heavily.
     Aero got a couple of combat knives and finally a pistol, a berretta, under Doodler’s order. Falcon simply reloaded his rifle whilst Tostificer quietly looked around the room, sometimes looking at Lego's body.
     “Let’s go, people.” Sai said.
     They all silently walked through the door.
     After the silent school girl, Coryn was last through the door. He closed the door catching an unwanted look at the mauled body on the floor.
     “Damn… That’s a bad way to go.”
     Coryn turned and looked at the narrow corridor they had entered. It had a low ceiling and was curved at each corner.
     All its walls were white plastic and little squares and vents were dotted throughout the place. Vents on the ceiling, the squares on the sides. Lighting was bright and was provided by fluorescent strips along the walls and along the ceiling. The entire corridor stretched out endlessly, and was completely covered in black carpet.
     Basically it was like the inside of an airplane with no seats or windows, and painted white.
     “Captain.” Aero suddenly said, tapping on the datapad, “I’ve managed to get a small amount of info on the area. As we walk a map will be created. Hopefully we’ll later find any sort of terminal so I’ll interface and download the entire facility’s blue prints.”
     Someone coughed, “Geek.”
     Aero glared and held up the datapad, “Hey hey, blame it on the technology.”
     -suddenly-
     “Excuse me, SaiHawkeye and… company?” A careful voice asked through the wall. The whole group generally tensed: guns were aimed and stances taken as the group looked at where the voice came from.
     One of the square lines in the walls lit up. Apparently it was a monitor. The pixilated screen showed a rugged looking scientist with lots of hair. He looked lazy as he rested his head on a hand,
     “Kaijin.” Sai seethed,
     “Ah, too serious, Hawkeye. Too serious… Anyhow, I’d better be quick before those little cannibals track my signal… Now listen carefully, children… hmm… lemme see.” He put a finger to his lips,
     “Aha! I’ll put my monologue in a simple numbered list.”
Kaijin smiled widely and brought up fingers as he said the numbers, “One, Most of the Section of the Bunker you’re going through is divided in Segments. Two, the Section depends on artificially supplied oxygen. Three, this oxygen supply works on the Bunker’s power supply. Four, I’m doing something really cool and scientific. Five, this cool and scientific thing needs a lot of power and will over time overload the facilitie’s circuits. ”
     He looked at the screen, “And blackout power in each Segment, one by one…” He chuckled, “Just like a videogame, right? Get caught in a Segment      without oxygen and bye-bye!”
     Sai slammed the monitor, “Kaijin!”
     “Sorry.” He shrugged and said in a cheerful Texan accent, “No gas!”
     The monitor switched off.
     “Okay I officially hate that guy...” Coryn said in the silence.
     Suddenly the monitor turned on.
     “P.S!” Kaijin spoke, “The Hosts get funkier on the way."
     It turned off.
     The white fluorescent lighting in the room flickered, and then dimmed to red. A computerized male voice spoke,
     “Warning, Section C Parition 001 Main and Auxilliary power supplies are severely compromised. Life support systems failing. Sealing Segment now.”
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 30, 2010, 11:00:36 AM
cool. really does feel like a video game when you read it. gives off a strong resident evil feel
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on September 30, 2010, 11:41:24 AM
Funky zombies! Now that's something I have to remember. Anyhow, nice creepy chapter. Love the way you died Lego, couldn't have done it differently.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on September 30, 2010, 11:53:57 AM
@ Coryn Thanks. now I officially feel satisfied with the work.

@ Toasty funky is right. And uh thanks. I'm glad my death-scene impresses you so much. >.> . XD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on September 30, 2010, 12:31:19 PM
nice chapter lego XD

and im looking forward to the afro sporting disco zombies in the future ^_^
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: SaiHawkeye on September 30, 2010, 01:24:02 PM
What an eccentric man...

I'm betting that Lego comes back as a super zombie and we have to fight him. =_=

Wait a minute, what's that? STAAAAAAAAAAAARS!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on September 30, 2010, 01:50:28 PM
Lol xD pretty cool chapter, talk about being evil >: 3
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on September 30, 2010, 07:54:36 PM
haha, nice chapter lego, cant wai tto see how things progress ^^
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on September 30, 2010, 09:02:14 PM
Wow, the scene with Professor Kanjin...I started listening to this random song and found myself visualizing his monolouge:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXKzKnC8Wnk&feature=related
But anyway, nice chapter, Lego!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on September 30, 2010, 09:53:16 PM
that can serve as like the whole story's theme song  :confused:
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on September 30, 2010, 10:22:24 PM
yea o_o ...it could o_o...creepy...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on October 01, 2010, 01:18:36 AM
oooh nice music
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on October 01, 2010, 04:48:41 AM
How come I can't watch it? It says it's 'violating the rules' (or something similar).
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 01, 2010, 11:19:29 AM
@ aero Lol thanks. Ill be sure i'll sneak in an 80s zombie somewhere XD.

@ Sai who knows, who knows? hehe.

@ Monster  thanks Kaij- i mean Monster. If you like that character there must be some kin, right? lol. He'll get even worse as time progresses. Actually it turns out he's a focal villain in the whole thing. Didn't expect it to turn out like that but hey, no foul, right?

@ Doodler thanks XD, and yep things will progress. Very quickly, in fact.

@ Matsu .............. (listening to the music and it's FREAKY.) I think you may have just found the perfect theme song. I swear when the guitars started i jumped in my seat. THIS IS COOOOL.

Thanks Matsu. On both counts. Aw, now you're tempting me to favor you're character...


@ Toasty just download it at beemp3. It's a copyright issue.


...and someone dies in the next stage. *scary piano music*
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on October 01, 2010, 11:21:30 AM
So what do I search for at that site?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 01, 2010, 12:00:18 PM
Beyond The Wasteland Final Fantasy VII (i think.)

 Just copy the youtube link matsu posted, post it in a google search and write down the name the search result displays. then go to beemp3 and download it.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 01, 2010, 12:24:02 PM
though you know you could not have to go through all of that process when i know a site that will make an mp3 file out of any youtube video >.> for free >.> but with questionable legality >.>
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 01, 2010, 12:29:53 PM
lol xD which site is that?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 01, 2010, 12:36:10 PM
i'll pm you. less the cyber police track me down <.<  >.>  <.<  >.>

seriously though here you go www.video2mp3.net

just copy paste the link into the box and select high quality. dont know how long it will take with your internet though
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 01, 2010, 12:39:01 PM
Haha, no kidding. I'll do it at an internet cafe.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on October 01, 2010, 06:35:34 PM
Yes!! I contributed in a positive way! XD
[Edit]: Though on a personal note I think that songs from that soundtrack could be used for a lot of scenes in here...
Thanks Matsu. On both counts. Aw, now you're tempting me to favor you're character...
Augh, no, I already feel guilty for getting a good quiz score DX
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 02, 2010, 03:12:17 AM
Hehe, okay then.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 10, 2010, 08:37:47 AM
Hmmm, somethings wrong, dunno what but i feel it. Anyhow here's the chapter. Read it in your own time. I have a feeling things are really busy here on MR at the moment.


STAGE SUMMARY: The group moves as fast as they can through each door, but almost instantly they have problems...


STAGE 4: Section Suffocation n Hosts

    There was a gentle hissing sound.
    Around a hundred feet in front of them, they suddenly noticed two sections of the wall were moving together. A door sealing the Segment shut.
    “Go go go!” Doodler yelled as she ran. Aero, Coryn, Sai, Tostificer and Falcon ran.
    “What the hell did he mean ‘The little cannibals will track my signal?” aren’t they just zombies!” Coryn asked. Everyone kept silent.
    The door inched ever closer to being fully closed. Doodler side stepped into it, followed by the others. Falcon just barely made it, and the door sealed shut,
    “Wait- what about that girl?” Coryn asked the others as they ran on ahead.
    They all stopped and looked behind. Coryn turned to face the door but it was shut. The girl had been left behind.
    “Damn!” Coryn cursed, he stepped forward and tried to force it open but it was sealed tightly shut.
    “Coryn! We’ve got to go!”
    “H-help me…” The girl whined through the door. They were her first words, and they were heartbreakingly innocent.
    Coryn kicked the door, “Damn.”
    His eyes widened, “Girl, step aside! Now!”
    “Warning, Section C Segment 002 compromised. Life support systems failing. Sealing Segment now…”
    “Coryn!”
    BAM. Coryn shot the door. There was a slight hissing and a dent was left in the door. He reloaded and shot again and again. He placed his shots always between the two doors, hoping to damage the locks, finally he began prying at it again.
    The doors hissed and began closing-
    -Sai and Aero jumped forward and pulled Coryn by the shoulder,
    “Hey!”
    “Shut up!” they shouted and dragged Coryn along, the distance between them and the next closing door shortened, and miraculously, they were through.
The door hissed closed, and Aero and Sai breathed in relief and glared at Coryn. Coryn returned the glare-
-there was a sudden loud roar of a gun. And they all jumped and turned to see Tostificer had fired his sniper rifle.
    Before they could ask, they noticed what he was shooting at. A Host was walking upside down, twisting its head, which hung from its elongated neck. The head whipped around like a tentacle and the host clearly smiled its green teeth. In the red light its ragged clothes looked black. The thing didn’t look wounded from Totsificer’s shot.
    Doodler stepped back, “Sai, this kid is skilled, right?”
    “Obviously.” Sai looked troubled.
    “So missing a shot from this range means that Host is bad news…”
    “It dodged it.” Totsificer spoke, “It’s really fast.”
    Coryn cocked his shotgun, “Why are we discussing this? The doors could close any minute and we need to pass.”
    “Go ahead” Doodler drew her sword, “Don’t blame me if you get killed.”
    Coryn smiled and ran forwards. The Host’s head swung to the left and right like a pendulum, and it smiled at him.
    Coryn aimed and fired.
    BAM
    The thing blurred out of the way of the shotgun blast, and was on Coryn. It hugged him and sunk its teeth into-
A pistol.
    “Hehe.” Coryn chuckled, and shot the thing. It jerked and fell off him. Coryn bashed it in the head with the butt of the shotgun, cocked the shotgun and BAM. It’s neck was blown apart.
    “Clear!” He saluted to the others and went forward.
    “Show off” Someone coughed.
    “Blame it on my awesomeness.”
    “Warning, Section C Segment 003 compromised. Sealing Segment now…”
    The door ahead hissed and began closing. And the group began running.
    They made it through the door, and passed through the next segment without any activity. They passed through some more, and finally arrived at a short curved turn. Then they arrived in another segment.
    “What-“ Sai began.
    “The-“ Aero added.
    “Fu-” Coryn paused and retched slightly.
    Falcon vomited.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on October 10, 2010, 02:09:02 PM
intrigue o_o
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 10, 2010, 02:34:17 PM
hehe. blame it on my awesomeness.

good chapter lego! and really MR hasnt been too busy this week.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on October 10, 2010, 02:44:22 PM

"Blame it on my awesomeness"  best phrase ever xD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on October 10, 2010, 02:48:57 PM
If falcon vomited... Something must have happened there. SHOW US LEGO!

And indeed, I couldn't ever miss. I'm an ace. He just dodged it.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on October 10, 2010, 03:04:03 PM
The innocents are the first to go...Meep.
They turned the corner and--?!
...It was another live action movie! Nooo!
Really, though, I'm assuming it's more zombies llD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on October 10, 2010, 03:10:54 PM
Nooo! Not a live action!

I think it's some gross half-exploded zombie which's guts are all over the place. Or something.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 10, 2010, 03:12:23 PM
nah. they'd just shoot that. most likely its just slaughtered people. like really horribly slaughtered
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on October 10, 2010, 03:16:57 PM
Yeah, with torn skin and open pieces, perhaps a bit of burnt skin (because honestly, that looks horrible).
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on October 10, 2010, 03:32:02 PM
yeah, im assuming its gunna be a mass of ravaged bodies..


anyways the only thign with this chapter is that its a little short with the girl being left behind, yeah theres the door but it seems like an abrupt change in mood between the door not opening and the zombie walking in
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 10, 2010, 07:36:00 PM
@ Doodler - that is what i hoped for. More intrigue coming up, i hope. It depends on how Kaijin acts really

@ Coryn - phew! i thought i was pushing it a little. Thanks and yeah i guess so... lucky me i guess.

@ Kaij, er Monster - Thanks! Now i'm completely confident about it.

@ Totsificer - hehe yes something happened indeed. I have the chapter ready but i need to touch it up. I'll post it tomorrow. (good to see your adopting the character XD)

@ Matsu  No that would be too horrific. o.o It'd raise the story from P 13/16 TO R18. I wouldn't do that...

@ Aero oh so you spotted it huh? Sharp. This is another chapter that got way too long and got split up. There were all these descriptions and descriptions and it sorta disturbed the flow if i kept it in one piece. I'll try to pace it more with um what was that term? 'grungy' descriptions.


And keep guessing, people. But it's not terribly far from your guesses.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 12, 2010, 08:06:55 PM
And another stage... and the story has been finished on paper. All that remains is for me to type it up. So the ending is definite...

Okay, to the stage itself then:



STAGE SUMMARY: The group sees the xxx. Time is running out even faster. Falcon makes a rash decision.


STAGE 5: Segment Mutation

    The slimy, veined, green sacs that lined both sides of the corridor had hands, faces and legs sticking out of them. All body parts dripped sickly trails of mucus and all seemed half melted. The faces that stuck out of the sacks were twisted in many forms, some showed pure pain, others showed surprise, some anger, while some showed peaceful death. Amongst the mess and decayed smell of the disgusting sight, hundreds of orange worm like tentacles sprouted, tickling the air lazily. Many of these tentacles seemed to enjoy growing out of limbs or faces.
Only a small strip of corridor remained.
    “Aw dammit man.” Falcon mumbled.
    “This. Is. Disgusting.” Sai commented.
    Totsificer looked troubled. His hands trembled.
    Falcon and Coryn simultaneously pulled out grenades from their pockets, and nodded at the others. Who shook their heads in reply, Doodler spoke,
    “Still a bad idea. Especially since they use artificial oxygen in here. (Oxygen is flammable)”
    “Error in Segment sealing. Possible contamination. Running options.” The computer spoke, everyone stepped back into the curve of the corridor and listened.
    “Option 09 decided, beginning UV radiation and Microwave treatment… Segment 001 radiation activated… Segment 002 radiation activated… Segment 003 radiation activated…”
    “We’ve got to go through... without touching... this” Doodler said, looking sick as she said it.
    “Segment 004 radiation activated…”
    They all felt distinct heat.
    Falcon swore, took a deep breath, then ran forwards with a yell.
    Then Falcon fell down in neat pieces of meat.
    The movement of the tentacles had been so fast, it was hard to tell how exactly they had sliced him, but they had. Even as they watched, the tentacles moved forward comfortably and pulled the sliced pieces of the soldier into the green sacs, decorating the mess with some legs, pieces of a rifle, and a surprised face of a soldier. A tentacle slowly grew from the nostril peacefully. The sacs bubbled and sealed the pieces tightly in place.
    Everyone just... stared.   
    “Segment 008 radiation activated…”
    Aero’s data pad began making a crackling sound.
    “This is it. We’re getting boiled.” Coryn sighed.
    “Hug the floor and brace yourselves!” A girl shouted.
    They all complied automatically.
    “There was a loud roar of fire and a really bad stench of fried rotten meat mixed with pure grossness and then heat washed over the group. When it stopped they all stood up slowly. The mutated sacs were all charred black, and at the door ahead stood a person heavily geared up in full body armor. The sort bomb-squad troopers used. She carried a flamethrower.
    “Segment 009 radiation activated.”
    “COME ON!” The girl shouted.
    They all ran as fast as they could.
    “AH!”
    “Segment 010 radiation activated.”
    They made it through the door. A school student quickly tapped in some buttons and it sealed shut as intense heat seeped out of the doorway.
    The computer’s voice then moaned “… power… EXHauste… shut DOOOoooown.”
    Then there was darkness in the entire room they had entered. There was only the sound of heavy breathing,
Sai panted, “Thanks… Matsu...”

Note: From here on out. There will be no more mercy. MR members WILL die. Depending on the flip of a coin, of course.
 
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on October 12, 2010, 08:12:46 PM
I only have one thing to say: I call heads.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 12, 2010, 08:19:40 PM
Well... you did sorta already call you're lucky side. Remember the quiz question which said choose between 'A' and 'B'? that was Heads or tails...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on October 12, 2010, 08:21:05 PM
Ah...wait, that's out deciding factor of death? Well that sucks, I always lose the coin toss.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 12, 2010, 08:24:21 PM
It also depends on you're 'Luck' Score..... um... you expressed a desire to become a zombie so yours is currently at Zero... unless you change your mind?  You better tell me now because i'm sticking to quiz statistics...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on October 12, 2010, 08:27:09 PM
I don't remember saying I want to become a zombie, just that it'd be hella likely. :tongue: I'm just commenting though, not actually trying to change anything in the story, continue as before.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 12, 2010, 08:56:58 PM
nice chapter lego. although on a technical note grenades dont actually make fire balls like you see in the movies and on tv. so the oxygen factor wouldnt come into play
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on October 12, 2010, 08:59:57 PM
awesome, matsu is pretty BA if you ask me XD

EDIT: what coryn said, and the flamethrower would be worse then using grenades
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on October 12, 2010, 09:27:54 PM
Matsu= badass

AD= hoping she doesn't killed next or at least goes down in a blaze of glory.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on October 13, 2010, 12:14:11 AM
How dare matsu toast my babies D:<  !!!! RAEEEEG

hahaha they sure pwned captain falcon lol!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 13, 2010, 12:16:38 AM
FALCON LIVES FOREVER!!!

*just got back from a melee match we're i screamed that at around 250% while being triple teamed for having too many lives*
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on October 13, 2010, 12:43:21 AM
MELEEE!!
I helped after all! (Well...maybe not Monsterful...[or Falcon]). Now I shall not die [brutally] in vain llD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on October 13, 2010, 09:46:32 AM
Yeah, what Coryn said. Frag grenades just make the grenade itself blow, and send pieces and shards of the grenade all over the place. That's why you don't use them to destroy vehicles.

...Although those things leave a hell of a mess.

Interesting stage anyway. I wonder how I'll become zombie though.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 13, 2010, 10:12:31 AM
Xp   *stabbed by logic!!!*

Maybe they'll just swallow the grenades, eat the bullets and then falcon goes on to kill himself... yep that will do.

and now...
Five to Three stages to go!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on October 13, 2010, 10:16:50 AM
FALCON LIVES FOREVER!!!

*just got back from a melee match we're i screamed that at around 250% while being triple teamed for having too many lives*

Hehehe, my friend got stage-, item- and smashraped in brawl. I pwned him a bit too hard I guess.

Ganondorf rocks.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 22, 2010, 10:10:25 AM
Ugh! Writer’s block! A bad case of it too. It stopped me from translating the already-complete details into a proper stage.
Everything is there but I simply couldn’t write! Well, I’ve finally gotten around to it and the chapter is HUGE. At least by BPH standards this isn’t a proper chapter size. Splitting it up wouldn’t help too well.
Anyhow Two MR members die, and the ‘coins’ have been flipped. (I used a self-compiled program to run the coin tosses. The final results are not as tragic an amount of deaths as expected... but meh, i had no pleasure in too many of those)

Enjoy and make sure to point out the mistakes, because I’m really sure I made some in my rush to get this stage over with.


STAGE SUMMARY: The group arrives in another cavern room with elevators that appears to have held a battle. Matsu explains the events leading up to her rescuing the group. Hell breaks loose.


STAGE 6:  Cavern Battlefield (Gracious Hosts II)

     Someone strained against a lever and there was a deep rumbling as a generator turned on and lit up rectangular lamps spread up across an entire cavern like room. In design it was an exact reflection of the one the group had entered.
     It would take too long to describe the mess of everything that the generator lights shone on. All one could fairly compare the sight to were the trenches of a world war, except the trenches were made of twisted metal, and the bodies were mixture of dead lab-coated scientists and combat geared soldiers amongst Hosts in all forms of mutations and clothing.
     Fires raged, smoke rose and stench filled the room. There was a huge open door on the opposite side of the room.
     Apart from Matsu there were fours students. One of them, a bored looking teenager had just operated a generator embedded in a wall. The others stood amongst trucks, crates and other military supplies, except radios. The trucks were like the ones driven earlier.
     “Before you ask questions.” The bored teenager said and stepped forwards, “My name is Litt. These are… colleagues. Andora, Lirne and Yuuki. I guess you already know Matsu.”
     “Hey.”
     “Hello.” The one named Andora coughed.
     “Hi”
     The others nodded to the students in silent reply.
     “How did you end up here?” Sai asked Matsu. Matsu unstrapped her flamethrower and handed it over to Litt, and she removed her helmet and sat down on a crate.
     “It’s a really long story… In brief some real funky looking Host’s chased me through the Bunker’s massive network and finally cornered me. (Yes, it got that bad.) I met up with a large group of survivors from Kuromatsu Academy, and they had enough firepower to save me… It was really bad.” She added again.
     “What the hell happened here, then?” Sai asked.
     “Here? Kaijin.” Matsu pointed three gloved fingers towards the silent ‘battle field’.
     “I and the others came here hoping to escape using an elevator shaft. Uh we were using a data pad. We were battling a small group of Hosts when two separate groups (one of scientists and another of soldiers) arrived in waves through elevators and the other doorways.”
     Matsu waved around at the trucks and crates, “They came with all these supplies looking ready to wrap up something until they met eachother. Things got really confusing and heated up from there. From what I gathered in the ruckus they were both under Kaijin’s orders, each promised different things: Scientists were promised a look at a ‘Book of Life’ whilst the soldiers a payday and some political leverage of some sort.” Matsu paused, “In the midst of this argument Kaijin announced his thanks to both groups and said…” She sighed… “He said he had gassed the entire room with the Host virus…”
     “!!”
     Matsu continued, “Many immediately mutated. And it was a mess after that as more Hosts arrived on the scene… There was only time to shoot, not think. We just barely survived…”
     “…”
     “What happened next?” Doodler asked.
     “Kaijin checked in on us. He said we were the last survivors. ‘If we beat the virus’… For us there is obviously a chance of infection, but I doubt we’re in any trouble now since it’s been a while now and nothing’s happened. You are obviously in the clear…” Matsu stood up and headed over to a crate, she pried it open and began picking out a huge gun and reloading it,
     “Kaijin also said that you would be coming through this way. He hinted that you’d need help. You know the rest.
      And now here we are.” Matsu stood up and strapped the huge gun to her back. Litt handed her the flamethrower,
      “You had all better stock up on weapons and such. Otherwise my advice ends there. It’s up to you, boss.” She nodded to Sai.
     Sai seemed thoughtful, then he shrugged, “AnimeDoodler this is you’re department.” He walked over to the crates and opened them one by one. Studied the trucks, studied the environment... looking for something. Coryn and Tostificer headed to the crates and restocked their ammo, ignoring the students.
     “Matsurinaoi, right?”
     “Yes?”
     “Do you still have that data pad you used?”
     “Here” Litt handed over a cracked data pad.
     “Aero.”
     “Yep.” Aero took the datapad and aligned it next to his. He pressed a few buttons and his data pad lit up excitedly, downloading information.
     The room echoed with the hum of the generator and the crackles of fires. The silence seemed to grow… Andora coughed.
     “Got it.” Aero announced and scratched his chin, “All elevator shafts are dead, except the one next to the big door. That one’s working. Also these elevators lead to the centre of Kuromatsu township, from there I remember the landing strip and chopper pads are very closeby…” He looked thoughtful… “Apparently there is no communication happening at all up there… but I can’t really tell, as this map was last updated twenty minutes ago.”
AnimeDoodler nodded, “Okay, good, let’s-”
     “AUUUGH! AAAAAH!”
     “!?”
     The boy known as ‘Andora’ had just bitten Lirne’s waist. He buried his head there and bit deeply. Blood gushed out and Lirne struggled but the student pinned him down with a rifle, growling hungrily. Litt jumped and pulled out a pistol, along with Tostificer and Coryn.
     Sniper, shotgun and pistol roared out at the same time, and Andora and Lirne jerked wildly and toppled over. One bullet had accidentally hit Lirne.
     Lirne coughed and looked up to Litt in pain, he coughed blood, “Fly.”
     “What?” Litt stepped closer. Lirne coughed and remained still.
     “Look out!”
     There was a loud flapping sound and a black thing that looked more like a ghost floated over Litt. He looked up in shock and black tentacles whipped around his shoulders and pulled him up.
     “Open fire!”
     Everyone was about to fire when there was a mass of buzzing, swarming sounds. Hundreds… then thousands of small black shadows flitted across the minimum lighting as a mass of flying black things swarmed past the lights.
      Everyone looked up to see black masses pour out of elevator shafts and the ceiling, descending in a waves of death.
     Sai spotted them quickly, twisted  was in the seat of one of the trucks.
     "Let's go!" He shouted.
Doodler jumped into another and they both started the engines.
     Coryn and Yuuki hopped into Sai’s car whilst Aero and Tostificer entered Doodler’s.
     Litt was almost out of reach forever, but Matsu lumbered over and stepped on the back of Doodler’s truck as it took off. She kneeled down, opened a grenade and held it in her hands as seconds ticked away, then she threw it with a powerful thrust, where it exploded in mid-air next to the thing. It screamed as the shock rattled its body. It lowered it’s height and dizzily crashed through the metal floor.
     Litt was freed from its tentacles to slide and tumble painfully. He barely had time to check his injuries before Sai’s car skid over to him and Coryn pulled him up with one hand.
     Both trucks finally sped away with full intent, and the flying Host’s arrived. The mass was so thick the room  was thrown in darkness. Sai and Doodler switched on the truck’s highbeams, which lanced through the room to show gray bat-like wings, tentacles and red eyes.
     Coryn pulled out another pump-action shotgun to add to his first from his backpack and began firing them all around. He reloaded them by ramming them along the back of Sai’s seat. Litt recovered enough to fire his pistol in the air.
     He was slow but reliably added to the firepower.
Tostificer fired a shot every second. The sniper barely made a noise above the ruckus but the bullets brought down two to three hosts at once. He placed the shots only to protect the driver, not himself. Aero on the other hand gave Doodler instructions on navigation. As he really didn’t need to do anything else, due to Matsu’s blitzkrieg tactics...
     …In three seconds she pulled out a belt of five grenades. Her hands moved like she was playing a piano and she flicked each pin as she whipped the belt in the air like a sling, letting the grenades fly in all directions. She followed the grenades with three flash bang grenades, and two incendiary grenades’ which lit up the place with brilliant flame and light.
     Their effect was devastating to the hosts, which tumbled every side in smoldering pieces or shock.  Finally Matsu picked up her flamethrower, opened the flow and bathed the air with liquid fire.
Within moments the general area was clear of Hosts enough for both trucks to see well ahead, and as a result they were able to dodge the ‘trenches’ of twisted metal. The two trucks weaved left and right over them, and the wave of Host’s began to intensify once more.
     “We’ve made it!” Aero shouted. The vehicles were close enough for them to hear eachother.
The wide door and elevator shaft were just up ahead.
     Sai cursed, “There’s no way were getting in that with this escort!”
     There was no reply. Sai made two quick studies: Coryn and Litt were unconscious. The other truck…
Slowed down as a heavy winged host landed on its back. Matsu bathed it in flame but a tenatacle whipped her away in darkness.
     Aero and Tostificer were about to react when it covered the truck in it’s wide wings and turned it away to darkness.
     “Damn.” Sai breathed.
     He quickly concentrated on his own situation. With his speed he quickly whizzed past the elevator shaft and into the doorway. He added more speed and the winged hosts reduced, then he turned the car around in a long silent skid and waited as the engine rumbled. He thought…
Go after them? Or after Kaijin?


Next Stage: Gracious Hosts III
after that: Kaijin.
followed by the finale Stage. Three final stages remaining. It's almost done!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on October 22, 2010, 11:51:02 AM
nooo dont leave me matsu and doodle!

i like the bat hosts and stuff that was pretty awesome,kinda curious though of what actually made those trenches O_o

also do i get to fight later or am i like data in star trek?

Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 22, 2010, 12:19:40 PM
even data got to fire off the occasional phazor.

good chapter though! rather interested in what rendered litt and myself unconscious though since that wasnt really explained.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 22, 2010, 01:13:42 PM
Don't worry aero you'll get you're chance to fight. You're more of a martial artist so you don't use guns often. The thing that caused the trenches is most likely dead but maybe i'll reconsider... hmmm...


@ Coryn yeah i didn't explain it but you'll know eventually.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on October 22, 2010, 03:55:17 PM
Oh, come on xD Not even a blaze of glory??

ah well, Come on sai! Rescue us!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 22, 2010, 04:47:35 PM
well you aren't quite dead yet doodle. so there's still hope for your blaze of glory. i'm more worried about what rendered two of us unconscious randomly. you know whatever did it is going to *censored* someone up later on.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 22, 2010, 05:20:04 PM
fufufu. You're uneasiness is well founded.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on October 22, 2010, 09:33:49 PM
O.O
Zombies can fly after all...Meep.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on October 22, 2010, 09:51:07 PM
One of the bullets "accidentally" hit Lirne? I swear that I thought it was gonna say, "One bullet had actually hit Lirne, Litt's bullet." xD

Also, I'm just as curious as to what put Coryn unconscious, I figured my injuries could do away with me, but Coryn too? I am confused to a great extent. :confused:
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 23, 2010, 08:34:56 AM
@ Matsu well Kaijin did promise funky zombies (they don't do disco dances but it's something)

One of the bullets "accidentally" hit Lirne? I swear that I thought it was gonna say, "One bullet had actually hit Lirne, Litt's bullet." xD

*lego whistles while looking the other direction*

The one responsible for that knock-out will be revealed soon.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 25, 2010, 03:39:50 AM
Ack! I need to finish this! The story is spawning so many other chapters in my head i may overextend it. As a result i'll posting second drafts of the stages. I'll make final revisions once i'm done. Anyhow. Enjoy.

STAGE SUMMARY: What happened to AnimeDoodler, Aero, Matsu and Yuuki? - The group is seized by a deadly mutant host. A showdown ensues.


STAGE 7  SHOWDOWN WITH A BIRD AND WORM

     The car swerved, and it's stabbing lights danced in the darkness.
     "Hold On!" Doodler yelled.
     She waited a second then pressed the braking button as hard as she could, she followed this with a hard pull on the handbrake.
     The car rapidly lost speed, and stopped on its two fron't wheels, almost overturning. The Host lost its balance and flipped over. It screamed in frustration and launched a tentacle to the car, splitting it in half.
     Doodler and Aero launched themselves out, whilst Yuuki was a little slow and a wild piece of metal stabbed itself in his left knee. Matsu lay listless in the darkness beyond the car.
     Despite it's complete uselessness as a vehicle, the car's headlamps still worked. And they were angled and broken just right to provide light against the opponent.
     "Whoa man," Aero said. He flipped out two combat knives from his belt and twirled them as he studied the host.
     The Host was ugly. Everything on it was just not right. Its wings were definately batlike put were unequally sized and position. It had six three-clawed legs sprouting out from a body that also held a shrub of black tentacles. It's  sharp face and completely red eyes looked down on its prey. The only thing it could be compared to was a very, very, mutated pterodactl.
     "This is a first. It doesn't resemble a human at all..." Doodler said as she drew her broadsword.
     "What the hell is it waiting for?" Aero stopped twirling his combat knives and watched.
     "..." The Host looked back at them.
     Yuuki moaned in pain.
     -its tentacles blasted up and a way from its body, disappearing in darkness, then appearing next to Aero and Doodler.
     Aero ducked and slashed his two knives towards eachoter - like the blades of a scissors - at the fat bunch of stabbing tentacles. The remaining tentacles moved away and the Host screamed in agony. At that same time Doodler had done the same action.
     It didn't meet resistance with its other two attacks, however.
     Yuuki could only shuffle away before he was ploughed deep into the metal. He coughed blood and was pulled up and towards the Host.
     Matsu had only been able to roll aside before tentacles dislocated her left shoulder. She screamed in pain but quickly bashed her shoulder back into place. White dots swam in her eyes and she struggled to stay conscious.
     The Host growled and waited another moment. Yuuki had dissapeared under its belly.
     Aero took a step forward
     - and its tentacles moved again.
     This time the majority of the attack headed for Doodler and Matsu. Doodler ducked low and slashed at the bunch of tentacles headed for her. THe other bunch rocketed towards Matsu, who had just come to her feet.
     Doodler  yelled and spun up and away from her kneeling position. With that motion she swung her broadsword like a frisbee. The bronze colored sword slashed through the air and sliced through the tentacles.
     Matsu held her breath for a moment before the tips pierced her, but they stopped in mid-air and fell down uslessly.
      She nodded to Doodler,
     "Thanks."
     She produced the big gun which was behind her shoulder.
     "Stand away! It's blitzkreig time!" She cocked the gun. Compartments opened up and steam hissed from many pistons.
     Doodler and Aero moved away and the Host growled and stepped forward to take her up on the challenge.
     Matsu flipped a switch on the gun and-
     -was swallowed by a gigantic mouth.
     "!!!"
     The Host was a gigantic, decayed human head, stuck onto a worm body.
     It burst from the metal floor and rose to the ceiling, before curling and bashing through the metal again, dissapearing into the battlefield.
     "... so that's what caused those trenches..." Aero's mouth was open. The Host took the opportunity to attack him.
      It didn't use any tentacles this time, just flew forward to smother him.
     Aero threw his two knives. They stuck themselves deeply in it's right eye, and it screamed and spun around, slashing the air with its wing.
     Aero curled backwards and layed flat as the wing slashed. It continued it's deadly path and Doodler slid under it.
      She held out a hand to Aero
     "Toss me a gun!"
     Aero threw her two of his pistols and pulled out two more combat knives.
     "This thing... It's very idiotic... It's taking long to make any combat decisions. Let's attack it full on."
     "And the worm?!" Doodler smiled sarcastically.
     "Vibrations... In her case that girl was too distracted so..." Aero trailed off.
     "Right." Doodler ran sideways and opened fire. The Host screamed in pain as it's already spoiled eye was punctured with bullets.
-it slashed its wings and Doodler's left hand was sliced off.
     "Damn it!! Plans sound so easy..." She slid to a stop and kept on firing with her remaining hand.
     Aero ran towards the under belly of the Host as it attacked. But just as he began his run, he felt vibrations right under his feet.
     He dove to the side as the worm host burst from the metal floor once again. It clamped its teeth as it came out and unintentionally beheaded the pterodacl-Host. Aero looked up as blood and pieces of metal rained down on him.
     The worm host danced up there like a snake lulled by arabian song, coughing and yelling with a deep man's voice, then its mid-section exploded in one brilliant flash, and the whole thing went up in flames.
     Aero saw a figure tumble down with the drying worm and land in the soggy mess that resulted, then the figure rolled out and away from the burning remains, mumbling prayer. It was Matsu. Drenched in guts and smoking slightly but otherwise alive.
     Aero came to his feet as the pterodactly Host's body finally gave way and toppled over. The boy Yuuki rolled out of its body. He moaned feebly and curled up.
     There was barely time to think as there was loud yelling and screeching, and the air filled with sounds of wings.
     "Aw hell..." Aero sighed and pulled out his last knife.
     The bat like shadows flitted across the semi-darkness then dissapeared in the distance.  They did not attack.
     "Now what does that mean?" Aero sheathed the knife and walked over to Doodler, who was cradling the stump of her hand.
     "Hey Captain we've got luck on our side... It's either Kaijin or the elevator... Looks like we're free to-"
His eyes widened. And Doodler stared in shock at her hand. As it grew back, bone by bone. And then it was covered in skin, until finally a new hand was formed.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on October 25, 2010, 04:07:40 AM
what the heck why is doodle regernating!

and when did she lose a hand O_o

im so confused and excited now...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on October 25, 2010, 06:25:33 AM
Is Doodler a super soldier created by the military to deal with these kinds of events? If not, she's one crazy lady to be using a broadsword in a zombie swarm.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 25, 2010, 09:47:19 AM
well that was awkward. interested to see where this little development goes.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 25, 2010, 01:19:01 PM
@ aero  XD i cleared up the stanza she lost her arm. It's just before the worm Host attacks a second time. Don't worry i'm relying on Kaijin's spoiler power to explain everything.

@ Litt yeah i know. It was kinda her weapon choice and i just said meh why not add a little fun to the situation. It's the same reason aero prefers not using guns.

@ Coryn it's going somewhere alright. I think the next Stage is where you find out what knocked you out.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on October 25, 2010, 04:26:52 PM
WOAH O_O

who knew I was so badass xD?

Nice chapter lego, cant wait to see how everyone else ends up ^^
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on October 25, 2010, 07:26:16 PM
who knew I was so badass xD?

that or you're about to mutate into a horrible monster.

*cocks shotgun inconspicuously*

<.<.....


Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on October 25, 2010, 10:50:20 PM
I died (or am as good as dead)...but who cares, Doodle can REGENERATE! That's so cool! XD
Now hopefully everyone else is okay...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on October 25, 2010, 11:08:09 PM
Bwahaha Ill spoil you all >: D...

Here have candy and videogames my mutated zombie children! ^w^

Lol very nice, cant wait to see what I'll have under my sleeves >: P
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on October 27, 2010, 08:34:40 AM
@ Matsu ah sorry i didn't write enough. You survived (for now). You're the 'figure' that came out of the exploded worm...

@ Monster great. Next chapter you'll see.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 01, 2010, 04:05:53 AM
And DONE. October 31 was a great day for inspiration. I've had a bad bout of Mind block. I was in a dark haze of boredom with everything, but yesterday i finished this project. It's not all reedited yet. But all i gotta do is copy and paste.


STAGE SUMMARY: Guess who appears? ... literally...

STAGE 8: Kaijin Pt. I

     “Um… ah… Er…” Aero stammered as they walked past the elevator.
     “…” Doodler remained silent.
     Matsu was pulling Yuuki along. He was unconscious.
     “You know… I’ve sort of got something to confess…” Matsu announced.
     Aero and Doodler looked at her. Matsu cleared her throat,
     “When the worm ate me it really did bite in the right place... I was sliced in half…”
     “…” Aero stared between the two of them.
     “Captain. What do you think?” He said carefully.
     Doodler looked at Aero, then to Matsu. “Well… Kaijin told you he sprayed this room with the Host virus… It looks… like we’re infected.”
     “The last time I checked hosts are ugly monsters.” Aero commented.
     “… There’s really no other explanation.” Doodler replied, “The last time i checked I wasn’t some sort of super soldier.”
     “Same here” Matsu sighed.
     “But what about that kid? And me?” Aero asked.
     “Well this kid may have been lucky, and you have no definite scars… You may be infected… go ahead and cut yourself if you want to know…” Doodler rubbed her forehead, “Let’s just… keep with the mission now.”
     “So what will it be?” Aero asked, looking between the elevator and the passageway, “Escape or Kaijin?”
     - he fainted, followed by Matsu, who crumpled in a heap over Yuuki.
...
     “?! What the-” Doodler began.
     Without time to process, Sai arrived on the scene with a flying kick. Doodler just barely ducked it and there was the sound of a wet smack and a grunt. Sai landed with a stance, his eyes shifting left to right.
     “Sai!? What are you-?”
     “Pay attention! It’s invisible!” Sai growled as he looked around, “and obviously a monster”
     “Where are the others?” Doodler looked around the darkness,
     “They’re dead.” Sai replied as he looked around, ever ready for action.
     “… … -look out behind you!” Doodler shouted as she raised her pistol. She had seen definite movement there.
     “Whoa whoa whoa Captain don’t shoot!” Coryn stepped into view, looking perfectly fine. Litt emerged as well.
     “Wh-what the?” Sai looked shocked, “You were both definitely…”
     Coryn and Litt replied, “Trust me, I know.”
     Doodler began to ask something. “And where’s ...”
     There was a whoosh of something slashing through the air. Doodler and Sai stepped aside whilst Coryn glared and stepped forward. He aimed and fired his shot gun with his right arm, even as his left arm was sliced off in a spray of blood.
     He cursed in pain as he grabbed at the wound and kneeled down. He looked up to see the result of his shot:
     The bunch of shotgun black pellets hung in the air. They shifted around on themselves and then a scientist with an unruly look and a tattered labcoat appeared. His face was destroyed, and he picked around it with a gloved hand, removing the pellets.
     Everyone watched as his face grew into a proper human shape, and the pellets spat out of the skin like bubbles rising from water.
     Kaijin finally sighed, “Well, this is getting boring…” He looked at Coryn, “… And annoying…”
Coryn grinned as his arm grew back.
     “So all of you are in the right mindset, huh? That’s impressive” He stepped towards the elevator and raised his hands. Black tentacles burst out from it and smashed through the shaft repeatedly with many slashes and dives, until finally the elevator shaft crumpled into metal. He turned and smiled.
     “Come with me, everyone.”
     Litt, Coryn and Doodler raised their guns to Kaijins head in reply.
     There was a rush of wind, three smacks, and all three were knocked out.
?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 01, 2010, 10:07:23 AM
and the plot thickens. nice chapter lego!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on November 01, 2010, 11:40:14 AM
man i wanna know if im a super soldier or not...

nice job lego =P
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 01, 2010, 12:59:34 PM
Thanks Coryn,  aero.

oh... and that's ... classified info, aero. :)
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on November 01, 2010, 03:32:57 PM
GAHH!! I still have no idea whats going on xD!

WHy am I suchj a badass, why is Kaijii appearing now?? SO many questions! so few chapters left!!!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 01, 2010, 04:46:05 PM
i'm just hoping we dont turn into crazy zombies at one point
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 01, 2010, 06:14:48 PM
Wait, so what happened to me?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 01, 2010, 08:10:56 PM
didnt you die some horrible horrible death?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 02, 2010, 11:45:19 AM
MEGA EPIC FAIL T-T. I knew something was wrong.

Yuuki is supposed to be Toasty. I switched between him and you. Dammit.

It was supposed to be like this: 1st car: Doodler, Matsu, Aero, Tostificer
                                                   2nd car: Sai, Coryn, Litt, Yuuki

That's a really bad mess up. I didn't forget you're character, i just majorly replaced him. Oh well i guess i'll just switch names in the beginning.

... This would be so much easier to understand in manga form.

ugh dammit this is such an epic blunder T-T
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on November 02, 2010, 06:38:50 PM
On the bright side, it wasn't since chapter one, so I wouldn't call it a mega epic fail. There are worse llD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: [aero] on November 02, 2010, 09:24:10 PM
O_o maybe that is the cause of a little confusion i was having...

hmmm...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 03, 2010, 04:21:59 PM
HUUUGE CHAPTER.

STAGE SUMMARY: The story behind the Host virus is explained by Kaijin. (Pay attention please.)


STAGE 9: Kaijin Pt.II

     They all woke up in a blue room. It was sphere-shaped and had walls, floors and a ceiling of blue metal. Small spherical lights hung along every curve of the room. In the centre of the sphere-room was a disjointed series of thin and tall cylinders filled with green liquid, with pipes crawling in and out of them. The floor of the room was covered in these pipes. At the very centre of the room, floating air, was Kaijin.
     He rested majestically on a glowing blue throne that floated above the cylinders, and on top of his head was a white light that floated peacefully, looking like an angelic halo.
When they woke, Aero, Coryn, Doodler, Matsu and Sai found themselves looking up at him. Yuuki and Litt were on the floor, trembling.
     “You all worked… amazingly…” Kaijin smiled down at his confused audience.
     “Enough of your madness, Kaijin.” Sai said, “You have a lot to answer for! I-”
     “BORING!” Kaijin yelled. The sound waves blasted everyone and they found themselves up against the opposite wall. All their eardrums burst with spurts of blood.
     Kaijin raised his hand and twisted it carefully, and before they could even attend to the pain in their ears, they were stuck to the wall with blue metal wrapping itself around them,
     “Now… can I have my monologue? … after your ears recover of course.”
     Sure enough, everyone regained their hearing as their ears tingled. All their eardrums repaired.
     Yuuki and Litt however, weren’t paying attention. Tentacles grew from Yuuki’s back, breaking through the metal, and Litt vomited green liquid,
     Kaijin shook his head to them, “Tsk, tsk tsk. You have the wrong mindset.”
     He snapped his fingers, then Litt and Yuuki exploded in brilliant gouts of blood, spraying the room.
     “Damn…” Coryn breathed.
     The others remained silent.
     “Now… you asked a question, and I’ll gladly answer. But mind you it’d take a long novel to actually tell you everything I’ve been up to.” He rubbed his chin, “It’d be a bestseller, no doubt.”
     Kaijin raised his hand and the white sphere floated down into his palm, “The Book of Eden!”
     He ‘unfolded’ the sphere, and it curled open like a flower, revealing a little black cube,
     “Ahem… Thousands of years ago, this thing landed on Earth, right about here.” Kaijin waved a hand carelessly around, “This entire bunker wasn’t dug up entirely by us. It was a huge blast crater. The ring of mountains that surround Kuromatsu are the ‘edges’ of the crater…
     'only ten years ago, a company looking for rare metals arrived here in what used to be a gigantic forest. It turned out the forest hid the massive crater, along with rocks here and there."
     "Authorities stepped in, then the government, and my own little band of scientists. Bla bla bla, intrigue, red tape, arguments, assassinations, some dude trying to spill the truth, tragedy, digging, and more digging, until finally, we found this little baby. The Book of Eden..."
     "Looks unimpressive, right? Well, this thing right here, contains around Three-hundred million DNA codes of various species, mostly bigger types.’ Kaijin pointed upwards, ‘a certain someone’s handbook to creating life.’ He chuckled.
     ‘Drums rolled, and there was a mad rush. I wish I could tell you everything, but really it’d take too long. Yeah well eventually we were convinced of It’s authenticity when we created four various extinct dinosaurs and some alien creature. Blab la bla, more boring discussions, and I found it: Psuedo-Dieus, what you guy’s know as the Host virus. It’s… simply… simply the greatest thing in the world.
     “I’m TIRED of this!’ Coryn yelled and he strained against the metal.
     ‘Silencio’ Kaijin flicked a hand and a bolt of lightning blasted Coryn, he lay limp against the wall as steam rose from his charred body. Slowly his burnt skin regenerated.
     Kaijin cleared his throat, “… when I discovered the Host virus I set about finding a way to control it, because this virus makes all your dreams come true. Almost too literally.” Kaijin leaned forward and clasped his hands together with an animated smile,
     “The deal is this: If you can’t beat the virus in you’re brain, it’ll turn you into your basic form: A bloodthirsty monster. However, if you have the right mindset, and can overpower the virus, then you’re in control, and following that any new power you want will appear in you’re body. This is the result of my long, long research.’
     ‘Okay, let me explain a bit more about Kuromatsu township, the Acadamy, the hospital, and here… We needed test subjects. This area was already cut off from civilization, and we smartly managed to bring a nearby village community into this area. We got them on clean diets, and watched from the shadows as they built up a home from themselves. Officially Kuromatsu was on the map, but in reality we made sure there weren’t enough outsiders coming around to disturb our peace. (There’s lot’s of unmarked graves around here…)
     ‘And now… this is ten years later. Kuromatsu township is complete, and so is this massive bunker. We built the hospital, and finally we got to test the Host virus.’
     ‘Before the tests, I slipped in some extra dose of the virus as it was tested. I got some five idiot friends of mine to stick around and watch the mayhem unfold, whilst I left and waited for results. Boom. A horror story, students stuck in a hospital running for their lives. Something out of a novel. A movie! A video game!”
Kaijin chuckled, “Beautiful…”
     He looked forwards, “Then I was arrested. Embarrasing how useless a human body is against a couple of bouncers with suits and sunglasses… The government was finally done with the whole Eden project. I was going to be the perfect scape goat (although technically I was guilty) and thenthis investigation began.”
     “You were all called in, and you know the rest from there… I was part of the investigation team simply on a consulting basis. But money talks louder than authority, you know? And this book too… I knew where it was in the bunker. It took only three phonecalls to get some scientist types and ex-soldier mercenaries to help me out.
     'When the time came I got you, you, that sniper kid (where is he anyway?) and hacker to escort me downstairs. Don’t ask me how the virus got out down here already, but it made a perfect opportunity for me to escape.’
     ‘I went through the bunker, and finally reached this research room… I locked myself in here and finalized my research... hoping to infect myself with the virus and beat it with my mind”
     He looked up thoughtfully, “Man, it was scary, when I infected myself… But I was hopeful when I saw the results on the battle field I made out there. Some of the soldiers and scientists gained basic control over the virus, and so I went on ahead and injected myself.”
      “Finally…” Kaijin floated down from the glowing chair, which disappeared, “I became this. A perfect mutant. So long as the chemicals exist in my body and so long as I have the book’s information, I can mutate into anything. I’ve boosted my brains abilities, I’ve given myself powers. Like a regular comic book hero…”
     Kaijin rubbed his chin, “Or maybe I’m a villain? I don’t know. I don’t care. Seriously dudes- THIS ROCKS! YEEHAW!”
He fist pumped and the room rumbled. There was a massive crashing sound and everything shook. The cylinders burst open and the green liquid spilt across the room, and finally it all stopped. Kaijin smiled and waved his hands, and the sphere room curled open like a flower to reveal a moonlit night.
     He had pulled the sphere up through the bunker to the surface.
     
     They all floated in the air on the small blocky ‘circle’ that used to be a sphere room. From up there a wide view of Kuromatsu and the ring of mountains beyond presented itself. Fires raged everywhere, and pillars of black smoke floated to the air. A battle had happened here also.
     There was the distant sound of gunfire, the screams Hosts, and the flapping of wings. Then an explosion, followed by more ghostly noises: Obviously a final struggle between hosts and humans.
      “Oops… I seem to have exposed the planet to the Host virus.” Kaijin looked over the edge, then flinched, “Oooh… Poor guy. No one deserves to get eaten like that.” He faced the others, “Now, here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to have a feast.”
     Kaijin’s body trembled like jelly, and he tore into two Kaijins. Each one had a lab coat and everything.
      “Don’t be surprised, clothes are made of chemicals.” He chuckled.
     The other Kaijin smiled and then exploded into black. A mass of tentacles rose from him and he grew. The floating circle went down drastically as this huge Kaijin put weight on it, until finally the circle crashed to the ground, pinned underneath a massive, black foot.
     Before the circle landed, Aero, Coryn, Doodler and Sai jumped off and landed on rocks and dirt. Their legs all fractured but quickly regenerated.
     They all looked up as the giant grew and grew, until finally a black, monster teeming with tentacles stood before them. Kaijin floated up beside it and whispered something in its ear. The monster beat its chest, King-kong style, and swooped down on the four.
     The four exchanged looks…
      They all sighed simultaneously: “Looks like its time for the finale."
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 03, 2010, 04:24:45 PM
Oh, so that's what you were doing. Will read soon.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on November 03, 2010, 05:59:02 PM
All of your asses are be kicked by me >: D  Lol  (the reference is quite obvious).
 
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 03, 2010, 06:00:50 PM
Haha, that's the spirit
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 03, 2010, 06:14:38 PM
Awesome chapter, although there's one thing that bothers me. If you're on a falling object, and you jump, you still have a lot of speed making you crash to the ground. It's simple:

S=o-j

In which S is the total speed, o the object speed (in this case the circle), and j the jumping power. Let's get an example.

If the object speed is 100 km/h (I dunno anything about miles), and the jumping power around 20, then you crash to the ground at the speed of 80 km/h. This only if it's actually possible to jump off the thing, meaning that in practice the people on the falling object should fall faster than the object itself, which is technically impossible. Especially because this one is driven by a huge foot.

Just sayin'.

Edit: Don't worry about switching me up with Yuuki. It means I didn't die exploding like they did. There's still hope right?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on November 03, 2010, 06:43:32 PM
Hah, I wasn't even given dialogue, I just blew up. :laughing11: I don't get to be in the finale, but at least this serves for a new twist on the zombie virus, pretty interesting too.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on November 03, 2010, 07:29:51 PM
The handbook of god...o.o Wow. Nice backstory on the town, too XD
@Litt: I'm sorry, I took up all the lines  :'(
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 04, 2010, 06:28:04 AM
@ Litt sorry about that :( and thanks. You'll be sure to be remembered. It's sorta sad since you Yuuki and Lirne already escaped the hospital crisis but sigh... evil does what evil does...

@ Matsu thanks and hmm... maybe i sorta did


now @ Toasty  I really don't see the foul i made. I know that formula well enough so here's where i avoided any inconsistencies:

1- Difficult to jump off of the falling platform.
*They are practically mutants right now so power and coordination isn't a problem. This also makes the landing speed considerably less. Besides, the giant didn't step on the platform.*

2- They'll basically crash to the ground.
*They're legs were fractured by the impact. Honestly i don't know if it's height or speed which caused this but either way i'm covered.*

Oh yeah and i don't use miles. I follow the metric system too. Why bother with others?



Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 04, 2010, 11:21:18 AM
toasty i think you need to work on your physics. what lego describes is possible. its the same principle behind jumping right before the elevator crashes into the ground. you have to have perfect timing. but it's possible

and nice chapter lego! cant wait to see the end
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on November 04, 2010, 04:20:43 PM
oooooo, awesome!! TIME FOR THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN!!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 04, 2010, 04:34:53 PM
@ Coryn and Lego:

You're both wrong. It isn't part of the TrollPhysics for nothing, it just doesn't work that way, for reasons I explained.

Edit:

(http://thegoodjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/elevator1.png)

There. And remember, content on /b/ is always, but always a lie. So is Troll Physics. These don't work.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 04, 2010, 05:02:57 PM
... I still don't know where i made the foul.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 04, 2010, 05:46:04 PM
See third frame: Jumping doesn't cancel out downward movement, only reduces it slightly. And that only if it's possible to jump at that moment, which can be hard if the object (in this case elevator) falls faster than you do (because it has more mass).
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 04, 2010, 07:58:06 PM
well toasty first of all everything falls at the same rate no matter what mass it has. and if you jump at the right time and reduce your momentum enough it is possible to make a deadly impact survivable. therefore you are incorrect.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on November 04, 2010, 11:44:50 PM
Also depends on how you jump and land. Not taking a side, but I'd like to say that if you just try to brace the landing by trying to land on your two feet, that'll end badly and probably worse than just some fractured legs. Just suggesting that they would roll due to common sense or something.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 05, 2010, 05:44:33 AM
well toasty first of all everything falls at the same rate no matter what mass it has. and if you jump at the right time and reduce your momentum enough it is possible to make a deadly impact survivable. therefore you are incorrect.

I'm sorry, but then how do you explain the many experiments with anti-gravity? They do that by letting an airplane fall at a certain speed, so that it falls that little bit faster than the people inside, making them float in the air. That wouldn't be possible if everything falls at the same rate.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on November 05, 2010, 06:30:53 AM
That's taking other things into consideration Toasty, like air resistance and such, but all things do technically fall at the same rate. The gravity constant in 9.8m/s2 which all things fall at in the vacuum, it's just that when there are other variables then the falling speed is affected. Also, since that anti-gravity experiment is an experiment they're probably just manipulating things to go that way to see the effects.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 05, 2010, 09:00:03 AM
Jumping doesn't cancel out downward movement, only reduces it slightly.

I repeat:
The floating circle went down drastically as this huge Kaijin put weight on it, until finally the circle crashed to the ground, pinned underneath a massive, black foot.
     Before the circle landed (they) jumped off and landed on rocks and dirt. Their legs all fractured but quickly regenerated.

went down drastically doesn't mean a complete free fall. It's a progressive thing, therefore it's pretty easy to 'jump off' the thing.

 If you recall the platform had some amount of levitation from Kaijin's control. Therefore you can't compare it to an elevator falling down a shaft... it's more like... stepping off a floating log? Not quite an accurate comparision but you get my point

finally just emphasizes my point that it didn't exactly fall down. It was pushed down gradually.

before before the platform could even gain its highest speed of downward motion, they jumped. An easy feat that even i could do. despite this however, they broke their legs therefore, i'm completely covered.

At the risk of sounding purely argumentative, why is it such a bother? Did anyone raise flags when Wrath from FMA hopped off falling debris? or when Shai-Long from Kung-fu panda did the same? It's fiction, and not really a professional one at that!

Take it easy! Otherwise i'll have to defend the science behind the Book of Eden backstory, and that'll be plain tiresome.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 05, 2010, 12:25:20 PM
Wait, Wrath did that? Ok.

It's up to you anyhow. Indeed it's fiction, and it's not like you have to change it or anything, I was just pointing out the facts. One thing though, if the platform was pinned under the huge foot, it could only add to the faling speed of the platform.

Also, since that anti-gravity experiment is an experiment they're probably just manipulating things to go that way to see the effects.

I could find you youtube vids including whole documentaries about this phenomenon. It works exactly the way I told you it did.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 05, 2010, 12:30:53 PM
toasty think about this. the people inside the plane are falling at the same rate as the plane which is why there is the zero-g effect. they get into the air not because the plane is leaving them behind but because they push up from the floor. and to cement this little fact if the plane was going faster then everyone inside it would be flat against the ceiling.

this is cause antigravity is only an illusion. what is actually experienced is free fall. but since everything falls at the same rate then its like there is no gravity. the same principle applies even at the ISS. if you dont believe me go ask your local physics teacher and have them explain it to you.

and i dont know what documentaries you've found but i think you're probably misunderstanding them.

Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 05, 2010, 12:47:17 PM
...Which is why it should be impossible for them to jump off the platform.

But let's get off the subject. It was a great chapter.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 06, 2010, 01:03:25 PM
O.o...you were just defending that things fall at a different rate. you cant just take what i said and bend it too your argument like that. the speed that something falls doesnt determine if they can jump off of something. and seriously my major is half physics based so dont argue with me in this area.

but moving on when is the next chapter due lego?

Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 06, 2010, 06:47:16 PM
Hours from now (ranging from 1 to 9). I was just retyping it. There were lots of holes. (It will only take longer if i fall asleep, which i am on the verge of doing.)
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 07, 2010, 02:21:11 PM
Done done done done posting at last! An abrupt end, i know, but there's bonus chapters to help a little. (I like to keep it mysterious.) It's been a blast! Now read and see how it ends!

STAGE SUMMARY: The finale

STAGE 10: Kuromastu Midnight Clash

     The giant had seemed to be speeding towards them at first, but now it looked pathetically slow. Especially to Sai’s perspective.
     He was the first to dodge by jumping far away to the side, before launching himself skywards to attack. The others followed suit moments after. They all felt muscles and tendons grow as they thought of this action. Instant mutation catering for their needs.
     They flew through the air, until they were level with the giant’s eyesight. Aero slashed its right eye with his knife, whilst Doodler kicked through the other. The two attackers entered the screaming monster’s eyes. Wreaking havoc in its body.
     Coryn and Sai continued their jump headed right for Kaijin.
     Whilst Coryn attacked with an open fist, Sai arrived with a whirling round-house kick. Kaijin whipped Coryns hand away and grabbed Sai by the face, then shoved him to the ground. Sai disappeared in an explosion of dust as he crashed into the ground.
     Coryn sped around Kaijin and grabbed him around the neck, only to be separated at the torso by a lashing tentacle that sprouted out of Kaijin. Coryn fell to the ground in a trail of blood and he groaned in pain as bone, nerve, then tissue regrew.
     “You had better do better than this.” Kaijin laughed.
     Then he frowned, because his giant duplicate was kneeling and trembling. It suddenly roared in pain and Doodler and Aero burst out of its stomach in a torrent of green, red and black guts and blood. The giant crashed to its side dead.
     “Hmmm.” Kaijin floated to ground level and put a hand to it. The giant wobbled, jelly-like, and disapeeared into Kaijin’s palm.
     He looked around with a thoughtful face, “Not bad.”
     Aero, Coryn and Doodler came to their feet. They faced Kajin in preparation.
     “You know, I’m really just playing with you guys. I’ve already accomplished my task. It’s game over. Why fight?”
     “It’s called revenge.” Matsu said behind Kaijin, and there was a loud meaty crack.
     Kaijin jumped a far distance, gasping and coughing, the side of his head pulverized- he had just barely dodged Matsu’s surprise attack. He shivered and trembled uncontrollably, the hit had clearly hurt him.
     “D-damn it. DAMN IT Y-YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!!” Kaijin roared.
     “Headshot’s mean game over for you as well, huh?” Coryn said.
     Kaijin growled, “I’m not looking forward to long conversations and tiresome battles. I’ve had enough of the sight of you.”
     He raised his hand.
     “Don’t give him a chance!” Doodler yelled as she ran forwards to attack. The others were already following suit, because they remembered what Kaijin did to Yuuki and Litt with that simple gesture.
     But they were too late.
     He snapped his fingers, and Matsu and Aero disappeared against Kaijin in fine waves of blood. Only their heads remained, and these rolled around at Kaijin’s feet.
     Doodler and Coryn arrived with their attacks, but Kaijin kicked them both away. Hard. They rolled in the dust, and Kaijin appeared over Doodler. He raised his hand over her,
     “K-kaijin you bastard.”
     “Captain AnimeDoodler.” He saluted, and snapped his fingers.
     Coryn appeared and kicked Kaijin’s wrist, fracturing it just as he snapped his fingers. The fingers pointed upwards, and Kaijin yelped in pain. He looked at Coryn with widened eyes, then he relaxed.
Coryn fell over lifeless, because half of his head along with his left shoulder had disappeared.
     “It’s over!” Kaijin sighed in relief and stepped away. He raised his hand to snap his fingers and finish Doodler, but the ground rumbled and Sai burst out carrying a white orb in his left. The Book. Along with him came out Tostificer, looking determined.
     “You forgot two things down there, Kaijin.” Sai announced and landed. Tostificer landed and, reloading his sniper rifle silently, he ran away from the general area, heading for high ground.
     Kaijin raised his eyebrows, “Told him to find a good sniping point for you?”
     “Yes.”
     Kaijin raised his hand towards Tostificer, “Too bad he won’t make it.”
     Sai raised his hand, “Uh uh uh… watch it Kaijin, I’m not planning on killing you instantly. I’d love to torture you.”
     “Bwahaha! You can’t have mastered this. It took me ages to come up with this mutation. Plus other factors, you can’t possibly-”
     Sai snapped his finger and Kaijin’s upraised hand exploded in flames and meat.
     “AARGH!” Kaijin grabbed the stump and stared at Sai as it grew back.
     “It’s not quite you’re method, but it’s something, and don’t be surprised. I got this book to help me.”
     “You can’t have read it that fast. Even if you read it, you can’t have understood it so instantly.”
     “The damage to your head has really slowed you down. I wished for it.”
     “He?” Kaijin smiled and roared in laughter, “You always were an interesting fellow. Insane, but interesting. Wished!? Bwahaha!”
     Sai shook his head and chuckled, “When I say ‘wishes’ all I mean is what you said: we can mutate into anything we want. I wished for this mutation. Want me to put it in more scientific terms?”
     Kaijin glared, “That’s true… but the catch is you need to know what you’re mutating into. My extensive knowledge allows me to gain such powers. That plus a long time studying the book allows me to mutate in such ways. That’s the edge that made me challenge all of you.”
     He waved his hands at Aero and Matsu’s heads, then Coryn’s body,
     “Everyone of you peope are grunts, soldiers. I knew the best you could all do is increase muscular power and some amount of brain functions e.t.c  Yes, some of you are smart, but none are geniuses.”
     “Well…” Sai smiled, “Guess who pulled off the Butterfly Assasination? (Though I hate that name)”
     Kaijin looked uneasy, “That’s a myth... and you act as if you did it...”
     Sai smiled.
     “T- the Butterfly Assasination?” Doodler came to her feet, shakily, “That was the one where an assassin used a butterfly to start off a chain reaction of random events to kill a President… that was you, Sai?”
     “That’s… impossible…” Kaijin said, “You’re good but… that was-”
     “‘Impossible’ say’s the man who can float things, explode things with the snap of a finger, and form a giant monster from his own body… You’ve really lost it Kaijin.” Sai laughed.
     “…”
     “Anyhow, I was already a genius, and this virus has given me two trump cards.”
     “Che.” Kaijin smiled and raised his hand,
     “Come to me!” His scream was like a banshees, and it tore across the dim landscape.
     The moon was on its way down, yet it was strangely at its brightest. It made it easy to see the thousands of bat shapes flitting through the air, the swarm of running humans coming from the village.
     They looked slow at first, but then finally they all blurred towards Kaijin’s location, and they entered him.
     Sai jumped over to Doodler and put a hand to her head,
     “Sai-what the- Aah!” She yelped in pain as her head heated up, then cooled down, and suddenly she knew how to explode things with her mind.
     “Might need firepower if things don’t go according to plan.)
     “Oh. Thanks.”
     Sai turned around and raised his hands. He made fists, slashed his hands, and the arriving hosts either exploded or fell in halves. There was an occasional roar of a sniper and more Hosts fell, but finally the rush ended, and most of them had entered Kaijin, and he roared with joy and blurred.
In seconds, the field was covered with hundreds upon hundreds of lab-coat wearing Kaijins.
     “This counts for the whole population of humans who came to Kuromatsu, minus exploded bodies.” They all announced in a chilling chorus.
     “Now, what can you do, against two thousand hands, about to snap?”
The Kaijins all stepped forward and raised both hands, frozen in what looked strangely like the step of some breakdance.
     They smiled shark teeth.
     “This is it! Mexican stand off! Can you beat all of us? No matter what ‘wish’ you come up with, nothing will beat us in time. Even if a nuke landed here this very moment, we will kill you before that… So… any last words?”
     “Yeah well…” Sai shrugged his shoulders, “It depends on whether Tostificer will really be able to bend a bullet.”
     “Huh?” The Kaijin’s asked, and Tostificer fired.
     “Trump card number two!” Sai shouted, “Mutant sniper who can fire unlimited ‘living’ ammunition, which has a mind of its own to kill!”
     The Kaijins all fell over dead.
     That’s what it looked like to a regular human, but it was quite a process-
     Tostificer, from wherever he was, aimed his hand and fired it off. It split formed into a bunch of bone-white bullets, which swooped down upon the assembly of a thousand Kaijins.
     They twisted and turned through their heads, guided by Tostificer’s inhuman mind, slicing spines or bursting brains.
     The bullets spread out like obedient wolves of a pack, twisting and always turning. None of the Kaijin’s even knew they were dead. But the original minds that once owned the bodies knew, and were mostly thankful for the release.
     The pack of bullets finally reached the last one just as it snapped his finger, but it was too late for him to do anything.
     Doodler sighed in relief, and Sai sat down. Tostificer rolled over and slept.
     All the duplicates were dead. All the Hosts were dead. Kaijin was dead.
     It was over.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 07, 2010, 02:31:39 PM
STAGE X: Chatroom

     There is…
     A black computer screen. Green words. A practical website, built for action, not beauty.

*… Communication secure… Login?*

     YES

*Please enter username and password*

     USERNAME: LITT
     PASSWORD: TROLLS-R-US

*… loading… authentication… complete…*

*Inside chat: Saihawkeye*

     Litt: YOU MIND TELLN ME WHY I’M ALIVE?
     Sai: You were resurrected.
     Litt: Well no ****
     Sai: I reconstructed you from scratch using your brain matter and the detailed medical reports the military had had on you. I did the same for Aero, Sken, Matsu and Yuuki… Though Yuuki and Sken and you will be unstable... I have no time to explain much more.
     Litt: …
     Sai: Do you have anything more to ask? We cannot use this connection forever. I only made it to make a basic explanation of the situation. You're the last, i've already answered the other's questions...
     Litt: Explain thn. Wt happened to that freak scientist? The people from my town? And what the hell am I supposed to do now!? Everything I know is gon...poof!
     Sai: Kaijin is dead. The people are all dead. I could not recover everyone for various reasons. You’ll receive another mail containing new identities, choose one. There’s also plenty of funds for you to have. Also, pay attention to the dietary restrictions. If you eat the wrong food… you’ll become a Host again.
     Litt: wtf?
    
Something popped up on the screen: *Trace detected… chat room will be breached within 40 seconds…”

     Sai: Thrs not much time. everything will be told to you through that mail. This is the last you’ll hear from any survivor in the incident. –don’t bother searching, and don’t screw up the instructions, otherwise we’ll hunt you down.
     Litt: …
     Sai: The good guy’s won, it’s the end. Be satisfied.

*…Saihawkeye left the chat…”
*…Connection lost…*

     “What was that?” Someone asked Litt, looking over his shoulder, “A word-based game?”
     “It’s nothing… (and frankly none of you're business)” Litt sighed and stood up, tearing up the paper that he used to find the site.
     “It was nothing at all…” He repeated.


STAGE XX:


*ENCRYPTION BROKEN*
***START MESSAGE***
TO: COMMANDER HIRATSUKA
RE: OPERATION SKELETON-CLOSET

     Commander, The Skeletons are buried,
     There is NO threat of infection to the wider public.
     There will be NO stories concerning the matter.
     All field personnel, including the extra help, is dead. All civilians, students e.t.c are dead.
     Except:
    
     Myself, Intelligence Officer Troy Burke
     20th Team Pilot Peter Burke (Debriefing at Base Alpha)
     Civilian Grunt Miyamoto (Relocated)
     School Student Iyame Matsuko (Relocated)
     School Student Jinsei Jarobe (Imprisoned for questioning)
     12th Team Trooper, Denise Makarov (Debriefing at Base Alpha)
And
     24th Team Scientist and Consultant, (Also Lead Scientist and Consultant of Operation Black Pine) Professor Lawrence P. Kaijin. (Debriefing at Base Delta)

     May i add, sir,
     This is a great man who has been through a lot. From what he tells us, even though he himself will not admit it, he is the savior of our nation, and of the entire operation. It is my sincere hope that you review the most-likely false charges against him, and give him his rightful recognition.
     I will bring further reports by the end of three months, as per regulations concerning ‘Black’ operations.
     Until then, Good bye.
              Intelligence Officer Burke. T

***END MESSAGE***

*MESSAGE ERASED*


Special Thanks: To MR as a whole, and to those who helped jumpstart this project. I really enjoyed this challenge.

Special Apologies: For missing deadlines, plot holes, and making things that don’t seem clear at all. I assure you everything was mapped out in my head, it’s just that bringing things on um… paper… was tougher than I expected.

Also if this was the worst piece of literature ever I apologize for polluting you're brain.


*Legomaestro logged off*
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 07, 2010, 02:32:50 PM
I am freaking badass. Thanks Lego. Oh, and from the moment I read Sai's spinning round-house kick, I was determined I had to draw this chapter no matter how long it would take me. Thanks for getting me on a quest.

Awesome chapter, although I'm not sure what's going to be revealed in the bonus chapters.

Edit: Lemme read this, then I'll give you my thoughts of the bonus chap. You Ninja'd me.

Edit edit: So yeah. There's gonna be a sequel, pretty much?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 07, 2010, 02:37:53 PM
Ninja's for the world!

haha thanks I really hope that project pulls through, even some illustrative pics of only some of the scenes would be cool... (but i wouldn't mind comic hehe)

and ur welcome
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 07, 2010, 02:40:17 PM
Grabbing pencil and paper now. It's gonna be epic.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Monsterful on November 07, 2010, 02:52:41 PM
: (  all bad guys have to fall I guess xD, it was very intense and cool lego. Living ammunition.. quite awesome.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 07, 2010, 03:49:18 PM
Thanks! :)

And i hope you didn't miss the fact that you survived. Stage XX mentions you as a survivor.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 07, 2010, 04:20:51 PM
I survived too, making me... Which one? The names confuse me.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on November 07, 2010, 05:54:20 PM
Great that we're alive and all, but the greatest question I have right now is, who the hell was behind me?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 07, 2010, 06:31:01 PM
i just want to know what "unstable" means. glad i got my savior's ending though. kinda sucks how i got my head exploded and all. but a sequel would be awesome.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: AnimeDoodler on November 07, 2010, 07:11:28 PM
Woot! awesome lego! Great read ^^
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: matsurinoaoi on November 07, 2010, 11:46:08 PM
Epic ending! You don't have to worry about it being the worst piece of literature, it was very fun to read XD
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 08, 2010, 02:58:58 AM
I survived too, making me... Which one? The names confuse me.

None of the Raiders were mentioned as survivors.

@ Litt some random person, i've edited it to look like that.

@ Coryn well yeah since you're brain cells were turnt to mush it was kinda hard to recover you're body AND wipe you of the virus so yeah... you're technically still a Host but if you follow certain instructions you're A Okay.

Sequel, you say? Interesting, but i've gotta rest my mind first. This was tedious at the end.

@ Doodler thanks! Glad you liked it.

@ Matsu haha, that's really good to hear. I'm glad i accomplished my main goal.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 08, 2010, 09:48:58 AM
well if you do plan to do a sequel and you ever feel like you've hit a wall with it come talk to me and i'm sure i can provide some assistance
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 08, 2010, 11:15:17 AM
That'd be a life saver. I'll definately take you up on that offer, if attempt it.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 08, 2010, 11:44:29 AM
i say do it. after all everybody loves the MR based stories.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Tostificer on November 08, 2010, 12:13:59 PM
Speaking of which, what happened to the Raiders story thing?
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 08, 2010, 12:58:56 PM
well that was litt. you'll have to ask him. hit up the topic or pm him though.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Account Disabled on November 08, 2010, 04:22:32 PM
I got bored.

Will it be zombies again? Cause I think there should definitely be a different theme if you're gonna do a sequel lego. Just a suggestion though.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 09, 2010, 03:35:20 PM
Well then i'll most likely go ahead with it. I'll ask in at the Discussion table when i'm up to it. Say... one week? Two? Or even less.

Yeah i think a different theme would be nice as well, but i'm not too sure as the other themes would have to focus on character more most-likely, and i aint good with that. The zombies made for good distractions!!
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coryn on November 09, 2010, 04:50:08 PM
well kajin could be doing other crazy *censored* and teh zombies could be a part of it. but not necisarily the whole issue
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on November 09, 2010, 05:13:39 PM
hmm... maybe i'll try from that angle. I'll just begin drafting basic ideas, then i'll show them to you to discuss and hammer some things out
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coach Fro on January 29, 2018, 12:01:19 PM
Okay so I finally got around to reading this and man I'm so happy that I did! This was a job well done, Lego. Lots of suspense and chest clenching moments. I'm also glad this continuation explained the reasoning behind the events of the original black pine. Really tied the whole thing together nicely. Also, badass Kajin was right: This really did feel like a video game.

However, I was still disappointed with your character's death. When I finished reading that part I said to myself, "Of course the black guy dies first. He always does!" Lol.

And with this finally checked off, I think I may have read every canon story written by you my good friend. Reading your work is certainly always a pleasure and I do hope to see more of it!

Side Note:

Spoiler
Psssst! Lego if you ever decide to do a sequel of this be sure to include ya boy ;)


Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on January 29, 2018, 06:06:30 PM
Damn, son. Don't you know zombies eat you when you dig up graves?

You deserve a medal for this, truly. That's some titan effort right there. Wait, definitely not telling you to do anything about it but did you already read Dystop? Because that's still part of my canon literature.

I feel super motivated to make more now. And hah! I loved that death scene man. It was hilarious. And haha! I didn't even know I was going for the black guy thing till you mentioned it. To be fair, a lot of people already bit it waaay before the raiders came in to check stuff out.

I wanted Black Pine to be video-game like on purpose. From the chapter titles to the speed to the convenient challenges the characters face in every 'level'.


Cheers again Frono!

Spoiler
Haha if. And that's a huuge if. If there's a sequel sure, I'll write you in the sequel of death and despair.
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: Coach Fro on January 31, 2018, 09:29:25 PM
I definitely deserve a special grave digger medal or something along those lines. I dug up a lot of old story topics these past few months, which isn't an easy task I might add. You gotta do the some hardcore digging to find some of this stuff. A good memory helps a lot as well.

And yes I did read the first Dystop already. I read it some years ago, maybe around the time when you were finishing the up the second one. I'm still mad I didn't bash any skulls in Dystop 2 by the way...
Title: Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
Post by: legomaestro on February 01, 2018, 07:44:25 AM
Oh gawd I'm losing braincells! How could I forget hahahaha.

And yeah I needed to keep it PG 13... So only stabbing and slashing and general blood allowed. No skull bashing.

It just occured to me writing a sequel to Black Pine would be impossible. Read The Science Division Raid Arc in Day of 1,000 Styles to see why haha. It's weird how Canon mutates like this.


Medal is going to be made, bro