MangaRaiders

Manga Writers => Manga Writer workshop => Topic started by: Jjmeri on August 05, 2018, 09:58:53 PM


------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Title: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Jjmeri on August 05, 2018, 09:58:53 PM
I have an idea,  I'm not sure if its been done before.  How bout we do a never ending story.  One person will start the story however they choose to and it is your job to continue it.  The rules are simple, 1. You must include the same characters as the person above you, 2. You must continue the story exactly where it left off but you can take it in any direction you choose, 3. as for genre you can really push your entry of the story into any genre you want,  I think it would be interesting to see a story go from comedy to horror :clapping: That's pretty much it.  Let the fun begin!
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coryn on August 05, 2018, 10:30:53 PM
It's been done, but that was a more specific idea, so the time is ripe for something fresh!

However as the idea man, I think it's only right that you give us the opening.  ;)
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: suuper-san on August 06, 2018, 08:49:21 AM
i think i might be up for this this time round, i need a boost in my writing :P
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Jjmeri on August 06, 2018, 06:32:13 PM
It's been done, but that was a more specific idea, so the time is ripe for something fresh!

However as the idea man, I think it's only right that you give us the opening.  ;)

I would start it myself but to be honest I'm a terrible writer lol
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coryn on August 06, 2018, 10:27:12 PM
That's exactly what these kinds of things are good for! You can never get good at something if you don't at least try to have some fun with it. We're not looking for Hemmingway here. Just give it a shot!
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: GreenTrap on August 07, 2018, 12:08:53 AM
Treat it as a fun exercise rather than a serious project. You'll get less starter stress for sure  :ninja:
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Jjmeri on August 08, 2018, 11:01:22 PM
Ok I'll give it a try!

Just like any other night, Byron was sitting atop his roof, smoking a cigarette watching the stars when his older brother appeared out of the dark. “What have I told you about smoking these things?" Kaleb asked as he took the cigarette from Byron's fingers and flicked it into the night sky. Byron let out a laugh which then turned into a harsh, violent cough. "Why should I fear death, in the end death is inevitable, and with the life that i've been forced to live I see death as nothing more than a reward," He coughed again. "You should understand that better than anyone." He grumbled with a sharp, raspy voice. Kaleb stared at his brother with concern before retorting, "No brother, you have it wrong, it is not death that I fear I just hate that disgusting Smell. "
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coryn on August 09, 2018, 01:56:50 PM
That's not too bad! You're cadence feels nice and natural, although you need to work on formatting. Starts a new paragraph when someone else starts talking, and watch out for run on sentences in your dialogue. There's a lot of commas that could stand to be periods.

-------------------------------------------------------

        Byron gave his brother a shove, and Kaleb's hands smacked into the rough shingles instinctually. They kept him from falling to the ground, and Kaleb silently thanked their inventor the high friction. "You really are going to kill me doing that one day!"
        Byron chuckled. "Now who's worried about dying?"
        "Both of us should be it seems..."
        Together the two stared out into the darkness. The town was barely big enough to show up on a map. Despite the electric lights, they could see the galaxy turning in the background, its actual rotation far too slow for the human mind to detect.
        Byron said. "We should probably head back inside. It's actually getting chilly tonight."
        Kaleb sighed as he rose to his feet. "Fall's coming early this year..."
       
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: JustHANO on August 09, 2018, 07:15:08 PM
Death had been the only thing on Byron mind lately, even passing living as a priority. He wanted so bad to meet him again. Byron remembered the aura that had come with him. It was only a few weeks since Bryon became this way, all because of his encounter with Death himself.
 The night of the crash was a fresh memory in his head. Byron woke up in the back seat, the smell of blood and exhaust filled his airway. Barely being able to make out the figure of the tall man, Byron felt uneasy. Fright overtook every other emotion as the cloaked creature, who he once thought was a first responder, leaned in close to the window of the trashed car. The being had barely any skin. More than half his face was bone.
"Who are you?"
"It's not your time to worry about such things."
"Please, I want to know... I need to know!"
Byron didn't understand why he said what he did or even why he wanted to prolong this encounter with such a terrifying being.
"Sometimes mommies get taken away. Sometimes puppies get taken away. Sometimes it's not their time to be taken, but when it is, I do the taking."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Extra points for anyone who can name the reference of Deaths quote.
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coryn on August 09, 2018, 10:38:56 PM
(I can't say for certain, but I'll go out on a limb and say Disc World)
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: suuper-san on August 10, 2018, 04:31:45 AM
apologies for mine in advance. Artist trying his best here :P
it was a lot harder than expected, maybe because I had to try and fit in with what was written by not me.
and also no idea for formatting and punctuation I tried my best :P

_____________________

Those words continued to ring on in his head, as clear as the time he first heard them, maybe even clearer. Lying in his bed, still unable to sleep, he started to wonder to himself.
"I'm gonna try and meet him again"
His comment was met with velvet silence.
"Not this again, Bryon”, came the eventual reply from across the room. Kaleb's voice was strained with concern, and drawled from being awoken from sleep.
He carried on, "I'm telling you, he's not real. I was there next to you, remember? Why didn't I see anything, huh?"
Byron shrugged. "I don't know!". Then, as if to reinforce it, shrugged even more exaggeratedly. Not that Kaleb could have seen it in the unlit room.
"Well you tell me how I DID see it then!"
"It's a HALLUCINATION! People in accidents have them all the time. You see your family, your pet, light at the end of a tunnel, or in your case, a grim reaper. It's your stressed mind playing tricks on you!"
"It wasn't like that, it was totally real! I clearly remember it!"
"I don't doubt that you believe that's what you saw, but I'm not buying it was real. And meeting Death? We've already talked about this 'idea' of yours. What you going to do, jump off the roof? I don’t even know how you climbed out onto the roof in the first place, you already have a foot in a cast! What else do you plan on breaking?"
"Nothing, well, I don’t know! I'm just thinking out loud"
"You've been thinking too much lately. Why don't you come back to work, give yourself something to take your mind off it?"
"Nah, I got a month off to recover"
"You mean I gave you a month, little brother! I didn't think you'd go all philosophical otherwise I would have forced you to come in. It's only the two of us you know. I've got no one to talk to there, and you've got nothing to do here"
"I just, don't feel like it"
"That's the laziness talking, not this Death guy. Get some sleep"
"I'm still serious you know"
Kaleb rolled over in his bed.
 "We'll talk tomorrow. Unlike someone I know, I have to earn money tomorrow", he muffled through his duvet.
"Fine, fine. Maybe I'll come, maybe"
"Great. Sleep!"
"k"
The silence took hold of them until the morning.

________________________

Edited for punctuation etc.

Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coryn on August 10, 2018, 07:44:18 AM
Punctuation and capitalization are definitely what you're missing there Suuper. Otherwise I think it would be looking pretty good!

Don't overlook the basics, even for a short piece like this. It's the 'workshop' section after all. You're still producing.
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: suuper-san on August 10, 2018, 08:06:11 AM
thanks, and duly noted. I changed what I noticed was out of place. incidentally its 400 words which is pretty amazing for me.
So much for thinking I had been careful :P
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Jjmeri on August 10, 2018, 09:57:31 AM
That's not too bad! You're cadence feels nice and natural, although you need to work on formatting. Starts a new paragraph when someone else starts talking, and watch out for run on sentences in your dialogue. There's a lot of commas that could stand to be periods.
       
Thanks I'm not all that good with grammar and such.
Aslo everyone thanks for joining in on the fun the story is progressing faster than I expected lol
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coryn on August 15, 2018, 03:14:28 PM
Son of a! I just wrote like two pages of stuff, but my phone glitched out and now it's all gone... :sadbye:

Oh, my hubris has gotten the better of me. Never write in the post window kids...
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: suuper-san on August 15, 2018, 04:02:18 PM
we've all had it happen to us before :(
I wouldn't trust my phone to store anything I type anyway on the best of days. even note taking apps can glitch out on you that one time when its important. It's like they know, you know?
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coryn on August 15, 2018, 04:29:31 PM
I actually use Google docs for a lot of stuff, but since that updates to the cloud every few seconds, it's not so heart breaking.

It was a good bit of writing too. I think I'll probably redo it when I'm not as angry.
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coach Fro on August 15, 2018, 07:49:43 PM
That's why I always copy my longer text frequently when I'm writing in the post window on my phone, and save it to a blank google doc just to be on the extra safe side. Can never be too safe. 
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: legomaestro on August 15, 2018, 09:36:14 PM
Always love stuff like this. Shall wait for ye to muster up the will to write up something again Coryn.

I just find it cool that nobody has suddenly added a mech crashing into the house or a zombie apocalpyse to the story. Stuff fitting pretty well so far. Also Byron is a cool name.
Title: Re: 1 for all, all for 1
Post by: Coryn on August 20, 2018, 04:08:00 PM
Alright, let's try this again. It's not as good as the first go, but all the pieces are there.



Kaleb had left for work early the next morning, so Byron had managed to avoid the promised discussion. Despite his short term relief, the fact that Byron was still missing work weighed on his mind. And so it was that he was quietly letting himself into the back of the family business.
        It was a small shop their father had started in his youth. They sold various bits and bobs to the townsfolk, and did no small amount of business in candy and soda. But their main occupation was that of pharmacists to the small town. It was often boring and menial work, but it paid the bills.
        As Byron made his way through the back of the shop, he contemplated the thing that was truly bothering him. When he had encountered Death, it wasn't the their macabre face that had shook Byron. It wasn't even the idea of seeing Death itself either. Byron was by no means religious, but life had primed him for seeing something. No, the thing that really scratched at the back of Byron's mind, was that Death looked...bored.
        He couldn't be sure of course. Death's mishappen face made that impossible. But that was still the word which always came to mind. Could the loss of a human soul really become so monotonous that it could no longer phase you? Had Death seen so much of themselves that they simply lost the ability to care? Had Death ever cared? It was haunting Byron's mind, but he pushed it aside as he hobbled out into the front of the shop.
        Kaleb had been absent mindedly filling out a crossword at the front counter, and he jumped as Byron suddenly appeared where he shouldn't have been. "Oh come on now! I thought you were staying home again?"
        Byron batted Kaleb up off of his stool with his cane. "I got bored. And it's not like I need two legs to run the counter. Go on, do inventory."
        Kaleb began making his way to the back as Byron settled down. He looked at his hobbled brother for a moment, and opened his mouth to say something. He hung there for a second, unsure of what to say, and then decided to leave it be.