MangaRaiders

Manga Writers => FanFics => Topic started by: Coryn on August 20, 2016, 04:39:03 PM


------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Title: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 20, 2016, 04:39:03 PM
Hello Bros and Brodettes, if you listen to the MR Happy Hour (which you should, it's great and amazing), then you would know that it is Bleach Month! To celebrate, we're doing a fan fiction reading on a special episode!

So here's the deal:
1. Write a short Bleach fanfic (keyword short. 1-5 pages)
2. Post it here, by next Saturday (the 27th).
3. Tune in and enjoy us doing our best voice acting for the story that you wrote!

Just remember to keep it clean. (No one wants to here Vacant narrate a sex scene). Keep it short, and get it in on time! We'll be here, eagerly awaiting your entries!

(Hell, if we get enough submissions, there could even be a prize)
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 26, 2016, 10:02:18 AM
So guys, how it going? Is anybody actually participating? If there are no entries, Vacant and I are just going to hit you with our own fan fics, so be ready for that. This will be the fate you let transpire.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Forlorn Serpent on August 26, 2016, 10:12:55 AM
I don't know how I missed this. Is a 5 page script okay or do you guys prefer actual text?
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Manimal on August 26, 2016, 11:23:20 AM
Spoiler
The sun beat down on Ichigo's house as the morning began to take form. The battle from the prior night had washed away, leaving only those who remained to continue from it's molten war path. In his room, where only a single crack of sunlight shone through the blinds of his window, the ginger haired boy was found on the floor, his black robe covering his body, locked in a state of sleep. Suddenly one beam of light became two as the door slowly creaked open. A fellow ginger haired girl peaked in, looking to the boy on the floor. "I-chi-go!" she called out in a high voice. The boy slowly rose up, his eyes creaking open as he saw the girl before him. 'What", he spoke in a deep tone. "Breakfast is ready!" the girl called in a cheerful stance. The body sat on the floor, his robe falling to reveal his purely naked body, abs shining in the brand new light from the doorway. "Got it". The girl tried to look away as his most magnificent form shone, the boy got up and put on a pair of pants. "Let's go". "Ya".

The two gingers walked into the kitchen. At the table sat a girl with short black hair. "Yo Ichigo", she smiled at her horrible and God awful rap. Ichigo grinned back like a wild animal who was happy and sat in front of her. 'Hi Rukia, wow that was sure a dun der tough battle" he laughed out. The ginger haired girl stood back as the two friends giggled with each other. She felt empty and left out, as if she was not needed anymore. But luckily for her, she knew a thing or two about Ichigo and his tastes.

Silently the ginger girl got to work, preparing a most divine and f*cking delicious desert. She took a tub of melty ice cream from the freezer and layed it down. Softly the ice melted from the sides as it traced the form of the carton. It's icy coat begging to be released. As she opened the lid she smiled, the delicious contents greeting her with a cold but loving breeze. She reached in with a scoop, gently relieving the ice cream from it's container. Sweet freedom. As Ichigo and Rukia continued to chat the morning away Orihime cried in the corner, scooping ice cream into her mouth. Although the tears where real, there was more purpose to the ice cream. She had carefully assembled a strawberry parfait for Ichigo, his very most favorite food. It had to be just right. She tried over and over, eating each failed attempted. Finally it was done.

"Ichigo I have a treat afro you!" "Bacon and eggs!" "No. Strawberry pafait". The girl layed down her creation. Ichigo looked at it confused, 'Where's the strawberry?" "Here!" the girl pointed to the ginger boy in front of her. The room went silent as it all soaked in. Ichigo nervously grinned and accepted the Sunday, "Okay". The room got tense, Orihime had to break it. "So Ichigo wanna listen to an album?" 'Sure." 'Okay...um, ah. Nevermind or In Utero?" Ichigo look to her and spoke "I think I'm in the mood for Bleach".



Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 26, 2016, 01:09:05 PM
I don't know how I missed this. Is a 5 page script okay or do you guys prefer actual text?

Script format is perfectly acceptable. Just as long as we can read it on air.



Also: if we get at least 3 entries, I do have a prize that a Bleach fan will appreciate. So do your best okay!

I'll also extend the deadline until we actually are ready to record the episode (early next week most likely) so that should give you the weekend to write.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Nairbons on August 26, 2016, 01:56:55 PM
(No one wants to here Vacant narrate a sex scene).

Don't kinkshame me. And also, I'll see what I can throw together in an evening with my very hazy recollection of the characters in Bleach.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Forlorn Serpent on August 26, 2016, 02:01:10 PM
I think I just wrote a pre script for a complete episode. Maybe you guys can read it as if it was an episode. If not, I'll still submit it and you guys find a way to use it in the future.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 26, 2016, 05:40:39 PM
If you think it's worth it. Like I said, you've got a few days yet to work now.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Forlorn Serpent on August 27, 2016, 12:28:47 PM
I don't know if it's worth it, but here it goes. I scanned the script since the format is lost if i just copy and past.

Read a Bleach Halloween Special!

This is my first ever FanFiction and most likely my last. Funny thing about this was that as soon as i told my brother to read a fanfiction, he was like "Nerd!"

Spoiler
(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0001_zpskgv20dxi.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0001_zpskgv20dxi.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0002_zps0vjchw1x.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0002_zps0vjchw1x.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0003_zpstfmr6tux.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0003_zpstfmr6tux.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0004_zpsw2nqc9fl.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0004_zpsw2nqc9fl.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0005_zpsifivgh4o.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0005_zpsifivgh4o.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0006_zps7ac7ixgu.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0006_zps7ac7ixgu.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0007_zpsotvbleeu.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0007_zpsotvbleeu.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0008_zpsapzxnrmg.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0008_zpsapzxnrmg.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0009_zpsslgt0spc.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0009_zpsslgt0spc.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0010_zpsslfayr3n.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0010_zpsslfayr3n.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0011_zps8pyg53uu.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0011_zps8pyg53uu.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0012_zpswkgnhiqa.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0012_zpswkgnhiqa.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0013_zpspk2oig17.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0013_zpspk2oig17.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0014_zpsctc0ropf.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0014_zpsctc0ropf.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0015_zps71men3yn.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0015_zps71men3yn.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0016_zpsehdkxwz9.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0016_zpsehdkxwz9.jpg.html)

(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0017_zpsqmoblmwh.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0017_zpsqmoblmwh.jpg.html)


(http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r660/forlornserpent/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0018_zpswtdvxd2t.jpg) (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/forlornserpent/media/Bleach%20Fanfic/Chapteronepage0018_zpswtdvxd2t.jpg.html)

Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: legomaestro on August 27, 2016, 05:44:09 PM
I fail! 2,500 words... Guh. Ah well, here it is.

This is a fanfiction that explains how Nel was able to make it out of Hueco Mundo when the Quincy attacked.

Spoiler
Red Narcissus


The silver half moon shone on the silvery sands of Hueco Mundo, where the only signs of life were crystalline trees, and the hollows that haunted the vast plains.

In a desert that stretched on for ages, there was one place that caught the eye: A massive dome surrounded by gigantic red cylinders. This was Las Noches, the palace where the espada resided.

Or at least, what was left of them.


Harribel Tier was walking down one of the many corridors of Las Noches. She had tried to ignore the presence behind her, but it was bothersome at this point.

„What are you doing here?“ She asked without turning around, and heard a small squeak of surprise from the outed stalker.

„Neliel?“  Harribel asked.

„Eh-eh ehh?“ Neliel Tu Odelschanck, better known as Nel peeked out from under the white stool she had been hiding under. It had done little to nothing to hide her diminutive form, as had the pillars, vases and various corners of Las Noches she had tried to hide behind as she stalked Harribel.

„Why are you here, Neliel?“ Harribel asked in a stern voice.

„Um… Nothing… Hiding?“

„You have the reiatsu of an espada, do you really think you can hide yourself?“

Nel rubbed the back of her head with a nervous grin, „Ehehehehe, but I‘ m not an espada.“

Harribel considered Nel for a moment, before turning around „Do what you like, but don‘ t follow me.“ She walked away.

Nel was overjoyed, „Th-thank you, Harri-chan!“ Nel jumped about in joy. But her glee was cut short as three looming shadows looked down on her.

Sweat ran down Nels‘ head as she turned to look at who it was.

„T-the Tres Bestias.“ What little colour Nel had in her face vanished.

The Tres Bestias were three fraccion directly under Harribels‘ control. Emiliou was a constantly angry arrancar with short hair. Cyan was a haughty looking type with long sleeves and long hair, constantly covering her mouth a she said something sarcastic, while the larger of the two and a sort of leader of sorts Franceska was larger and more balanced in her mannerisms – Which is not to say that she didn‘t get violent when she wanted to.

„What‘s this ex-espada trash doing here?“ Emilou said, bringing her face closer to Nels‘ as she glared.

„U-um… I was just playing-“

„Don‘t care, prepare to die!“ Emilou said as she drew her blade.

Cyan „So uncivilized. Why would you bother trying your weapon on someone like her?“

„Cyan you- Do you want me to cut you first?!“

„Don‘t take out your jealousy on me, monkey.“  Cyan responded cooly.

„Jealousy? Hah?! Why would I be jealous of her!“ Emilou pointed an accusing finger at the cowering Nel.

„Because in her real form, we both know she has bigger -“

Emilou swung her sword, with Cyan dancing away.

„Hey.“ Franceska said to the two of them.

„What?!“ Emilou and Cyan looked over from pummeling each other, only to notice Nel and two other arrancar slowly tiptoeing away. One was thin and had only a waist-cloth in the way of clothing, and the other had polka dot clothing with a gigantic face. They were Neliel‘s partners in crime, Pesche and Dondochaka.

„Get them!“

„Dondochaka! Your sacrifice shall not be forgotten!“ Pesche said as he saluted Dondochaka and carried Nel under his arm.

„Eh!? Sacrifice?!“  Dondochaka could only ask as he was left behind.

The Tres Bestias walked up to him, smilling evilly down at him.

„P-pescheee!“

His screams echoed through the hallways.


„Honestly.“ Said an arrancar that was patrolling Las Noches. „They act more like humans every day.“

This arrancar was one of many Exequias – an execution unit- that had over time regained fighting strength. After the battle in Karakura Town where the espadas were all but wiped out, they were the few along with a handful of other fraccion that survived and helped maintain the palace.

Being the highest ranking and only espada present other than the ever-lurking Nel, Harribel Tier was the defacto leader of Las Noches.

The arrancar found he was glad to have a purpose, then scoffed at himself,

„I am getting human like feelings as well, it seems.“ He said as he walked away.



Meanwhile Harribel Tier was at the top of the tower where she had once witnessed the battle between the human named Kurosaki Ichigo and Grimmjow Jagerjacques. Though her throne room was the same one that Aizen had occupied, she came to this place to study the places where the battles had once taken in the past.

Harribel could still sense the blood-lust, the fear, the spite, the lust, the joy and madness. All the traces of reiatsu told of these things, and Harribel could almost see the fights happen again as she watched. She breathed in the ambience.

But there were no physical traces of any battle. Even the roof that had been torn open during the battle between Kurosaki Ichigo and Uluqiorra had been long since repaired. Harribel had decided she might as well coral the few fraccion and hollow inside Las Noches to keep themselves useful.

For her, Aizen‘s betrayal had only been shameful in the fact that she had been too weak to even complete her battle, whether in death or in victory. It was a fundamental rule of the world of hollows – eat the strong or die. Eat the weak and fail forever.

She had no opponents to test her blade on, whether within Las Noches or in the planes of Hueco Mundo, but she could build a base and seek power in her own way, ready for the day when inevitability, battle would come to her.

This was the way of life as an Espada. It was no concrete answer, but one she had decided upon alone.

If there was anything that a hollow had, it was patience.

But Las Noches would be destroyed within that very hour.




The advent of the end was the appearance of many human-shaped shadows that pierced the atmosphere. The Exequias and various arrancar and fraccion looked up in the sky as several hundred human figures clad in pure white poured out of them.

Before anyone could properly react, hell was rained down upon them in the form of silvery-blue arrows. Arrancars perished screaming. The faster Exequias were able to survive a few moments, but were unprepared for the fact that they felt no trace of reiatsu from the assailants. They could only trust their eyes and noses, but even more fell before they could get used to it.

Harribel was about to draw her blade, when a larger shadow opened on the tower next to her.

A blonde man clad in white and a giant of a man in a black cloak with black hair and a large beard walked out of the nothingness as though they had every right to be here.

Harribel released a blast of reiatsu as she readied her blade for battle.

„Who are you?“ She asked in a cold voice.  Water spewed through her blade like a flood, swirling around her.

The larger man looked down at Harribel as though she were an insect.

„I am your end...“

Harribel saw his large hand move upwards.

„Harribel Tier.“

And then there was nothing.




On that day of the attack. A man feels the Quincy come.

At first he only senses that the arrancar are dying, that there is battle above the many layers of sand that he lived under, but then he realizes he is a bit wrong on that thought – the arrancar are not dying, they are vanishing.

He does not sense the slow fade of reiatsu that follows a perishing life form, but rather instant erasure.

It‘s something that does not sit well with him to the very core.

And when he finally realized what he was feeling, his blood did boil.

„Quincy.“ He rumbled as he rose, his heavy coat full of hollow masks clacking as he did so.

Suddenly, he was no longer the man in the darkness, living in a time of nothing but survival and death.

Suddenly, he had a duty that was for the moment more important than protecting the honour of his friends.

His zanpakutou resonated with this feeling.

His name?

He has not needed to know it for a very long time. In his long, long years of fighting he had lost more than he thought. He at least remembered the names of his friends who fell in battle.

That was right.

His name.

His name was Ashido Kido of the 10th Division of Sereitei. He was a shiningami.




Led by Kirge Opie, the Iacto Arme of The Quincy invading army made short work of The Exequias.

It would be embarrassing if not for the fact that the brutal ambush was well planned, and the
fighters with more experience than the most basic hollow could deal with.

As Quincy did not produce reiatsu of their own but rather absorbed it from the atmosphere, not only were they stronger in the reiatsu rich atmosphere of Hueco Mundo, they could move faster too.

The Quincy lit blue pillars of flame around Hueco Mundo that ensured the erasure of any undesired enemies. Some were already being captured, and Kirge Opie retreated from the front-lines, leaving the rest as simple clean up duty.

Harribel Tier had fallen in one fell swoop, and Las Noches was crushed.

A short blue haired Quincy member laughed in pride as she shot a hollow through the chest,

„They die well for freaks.“ She scoffed. Her subordinates laughed along.

Her ear piece crackled as a radio transmission came in. She frowned as she touched a finger to the radio.

„Sir! There‘s an Espada here! We need H- GAAAAH!“ The transmission cut off.

„What was that, Dita?“

The quincy scoffed, „Some idiot is in trouble. Espada, so be careful.“

„We‘re more than enough for those weaklings.“ Said the rest of her squad. Dita grinned,

„Yes, indeed we are.“


They all rushed the area where the call had originated from. It was a large hall with a very high ceiling. The room was held up by numerous red pillars as well.

The floor was covered in the bodies of countless Quincy soldiers.

„Where is Harribel!?“ Roared a girl in a torn green outfit. Neliel‘s cute self was long gone in her fury as she cut down everyone. The Tres Bestias and other Exequias were with her as well, fighting off whoever they could.

This group had already lost some members, and the only reason they were still in the fight was the absolute stopping power of Neliel‘s attacks. Dondochaka and Pesche made wild gestures as they pretended to fight.

„Get her!“ Dita ordered, firing arrows  at the hollows. Neliel got hit in the shoulder once, but then blocked the rest of the strikes.

The fray intensified.

Dita fell as Neliel used sonido to close the distance to her. She was looking to take out the leader of the squad. Bringing her sword down to stab Dita without mercy, Dita closed her eyes, only to feel the soft punch of a child‘s fist.

„Huh?“

Dita looked and saw that Nel was straddling her. She had lost her temporary transformation.

„What the hell is this?“ She grabbed Nel by her neck and stood up. The girl struggled, unable to break free of the iron grip.

„N-Nelll!“ Dondochaka wailed with worry.
 
„Oh what the hell! So useless! “ Emilou groaned. She was panting heavily. The Quincy numbers were overwhelming.

Triumphant, Dita was about to scream an order,

„Kill them al-“

A blade went through her chest from behind.

Dita could only look as she saw a hollow mask with red hair pouring out of it. A demon from out of nowhere.

„W-what the…“

„SQUAD CAPTAIN!“ A Quincy shouted in despair as he saw what the new comer did. The rest roared in anger as well, rushing the newcomer. As if his hollow mask was not bizarre enough, he had a coat embedded with several of the masks. Under it, the Quincy could see the heavily faded traces of traditional Shiningami wear.

The newcomer raised his blade and turned it.

„If there is anything that destroys the pride of the shiningami...“

They shot arrows at him. He held up a shield for his face, leaving his coat to absorb the rest of the attacks,

„Then it is the quincy, who desecrate the very laws of the world.“

He slashed his blade.


„Th-thank you.“ Nel said to the strange man before her. He had added to the pile of bodies around them, but more were sure to come. Pesche, Dondochaka, The Tres Bestias and two other injured Exequias were the only survivors.

„There is no need.“ The man said.

„You‘re shiningami.“ Franceska said, „But you smell like one of us too. Who are you?“

„Nobody.“ He said. He readied his blade,

„More are coming – There‘s also a presence beyond these few… I cannot fathom it. There is no winning this battle. I suggest you flee.“

„Peh, only a human coward would say that.“ Said Emilou before walking away,

Cyan nodded, „As expected of humans, but we...“

„Need to find Harribel.“ Finished Franceska, „Let‘s go!“

They headed off into a different direction, followed by The Exequias.

Nel looked after them with a worried expression on her face.

„Harribel...“ She said.

The man shook his head,  „You cannot fight as you are. Get out of here. Get some help. If you want to repay me, then make sure this invasion does not remain a secret, as they clearly intend it to be. “

Pesche walked up to the man and put a hand on his shoulder, then gave him a thumbs up,

„Good, Ruck!“

„...“

„Let‘s go, Nel. He is right.“ Pesche said to Nel, carrying her on his shoulders.

„O-Okay.“ She answered.

„Yosh! Dondochaka! Let‘s GO!“


And then the man was alone.
 

But not for long.

A man in a white outfit and with blonde hair walked into the room.

„Quincy.“ He said.

„You are… Like Kurosaki Ichigo. Interesting. Who are you?“

„Ashido Kido. You?“

The man drew his blade, „Jugram Haschwalt. His majesty ordered me to investigate your reiatsu. You… Are strong.“

Ashido did not answer, instead he raised his reiatsu and readied his blade,

„I cannot afford to waste time on you.“

The man named Haschwalt only looked at him, „This will not take any time at all.“

„Oh?“ Said Ashido. He grinned.

„Bankai.“


He lied in a pool of his own blood, looking up at a ceiling., his long path ended.

„...“ Haschwalt looked down at the fallen man for a moment. He had a shield made of reishi drawn beside him, and what used to be a hallway was completely destroyed. Haschwalt looked spotless.

He vanished both his weapons and turned to walk away, leaving Ashido there.

„Finally.“ He said. Haschwalt stopped for a moment in his tracks.

„Finally I can see the others.“ He whispered.

„...“ With that, Haschwalt left the room.

Ashido closed his eyes...




And opened them again in the dark.

He had healed.

The years of fighting the hollows and living nearby them had already changed him.

He sat up painfully and grabbed his zanpakutou.

"Huh." He smiled to himself.

It looked like he was still fated to live fighting in Hueco Mundo.

"If things are like this, I might as well make the most of it." He said.

He flickered and vanished.



The End

Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 29, 2016, 08:56:22 AM
Alright guys, we're recording this thing tonight! Probably around 6pm central time, so that will be the cutoff for entries. We need one more judge-able entry to warrant the prize giveaway. If no one does submit, don't worry so much. The prize will just go back on the loot table and you'll have a chance the next time we do a contest.

Good luck everyone!
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Nairbons on August 29, 2016, 12:43:00 PM
The hottest memes of 2004, repackaged just for you:

Spoiler
BLEACH: Repercussions of Evil

Ichigo Kurosaki waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were hollows in the clinic. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Rukia were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Ichigo was a soul reaper for fourteen days. When he was young he watched the ghosts and he said to dad "I want to be in the soul society daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HOLLOWS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the clinic of Karakura Town he knew there were Hollows.
"This is Rukia" the cell phone crackered. "You must fight the hollows!"
So Ichigo gotted his zanpakuto and sliced up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the hollows.
"I will bite at him" said the big hollow and he jumped with the teeth. Ichigo bankai'ed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the hollows" he shouted
The radio said "No, Ichigo. You are the hollows"
And then Ichigo was a vizard.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 29, 2016, 01:13:57 PM
I...*exasperated sigh* I guess we technically now have three entries. Read up Lego and Vacant! Tonight we're giving away a prize!
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Vacant on August 29, 2016, 06:57:46 PM
Here's one I whipped up in the last 30 mins.

Spoiler



                      "Woah!". He barely had time to duck out the way, as the burning beam of red energy passed through the space he had previously been occupying. The scorching heat singed his shihaksho, as well as part of the beard he'd been working on. He picked himself up off the ground, grunting with the after effects of colliding with the hard stone floor. The beam had sliced a hole in the white stone wall. Anger flared in his eyes as he located the source of the blast.

                      "Dammit Manimal! You almost hit me!" he yelled. The man he was speaking too adjusted his glasses sheepishly and released his grip on the guitar he was holding, allowing it to swing freely from his shoulder via the thin leather strap.

                      "Sorry man, still getting the hang of it and all". His hands already began to drift back to the fret of the instrument.

                      "Trust your Shikai to be a Guitar...." No1sey sighed.

                      "Well...We did get to choose our own Zanpakuto". He turned as the ground shook at the approach of the newcomer. Nairbons had appeared, but No1sey had to crane his neck up to see him, as his Shikai ability enlarged his size a hundred times his original size. For reasons unknown to him, Nair's Sword release also changed his attire. Gone was his shihaksho, only to be replaced by a pair of blue swimming trunks.
                       He had to admit, it was pretty cool using the Full Dive(TM) gear for the first time. Although he'd already traded in the Sword Art Online game that had come with it and was intending to get the latest Gundam Wing game. But after persistent nagging and constant messages from Vacant and the others, No1sey had finally relented and bought Bleach: Be a Mutha truckin' Soul Reaper...the game. After several failed attempts, they'd finally managed to get into a game altogether and had been roaming the Seireitei for the past few hours.

                      "Phew. It took a while but I managed it". The group turned as yet another person rounded the corner of the street. Coryn was entering, on top of some bizarre mechanical stead. He'd stopped off at the research and development bureau. The others gasped as he appeared.

                      "Holy crap! You went and became a Captain already?" bellowed Nairbons incredulously. He bent down to have a closer look and sure enough, a white captains Haori flapped in the wind, worn over Coryn's Shihaksho.

                      "Ple-please don't squat like that when you're wearing that!" said No1sey looking away.

                      "I did. Just beat Mayuri and took the science division for my own" Coryn answered. He then reached inside his Haori and pulled out a white and green striped bucket hat. Upon placing it on his head he clapped his hands together. "There's going to be a lot of modifications around here" he said omniously.

                      "Sureeee" No1sey said. He again had to duck away as another beam of energy fired out of the neck of Manimal's guitar. He seemed oblivious as he absently strummed his guitar, perched on a rock.

                      "Well, if you can make these even bigger, then I'm down" Nair called, flexing his biceps.

                      "Hey by the way, where's Sherbet, Vacant and Lego?" Coryn asked. Their was an uneasy silence for a moment.
                     
                      "Well. Vacant went to challenge Kyoraku again. Sherbet ended up in a drinking contest with most of Squad 11 and passed out. He's recovering in squad 4's barracks as we speak" replied  No1sey.

                      "And Lego?" Coryn pressed.

                      "Ermmmm...You don't wanna know" No1sey assured him.

                      "Head's up, we've got something incoming" Manimal advised, looking at the sky and shielding his eyes. They followed his gaze and saw what started as a short glint of light. It grew and became larger and moved faster. It was clear it was heading right for them. Manimal hopped off the rock just before the moment of impact. The object smashed into the rock with incredible force completely obliterating it and continued skidding across the paving stones, before coming to a rest after thudding into Nair's gigantic foot.

                      "Ow" the projectile said. Untangling himself from the heap he had just been, Vacant stood up uneasily. His clothing was torn and was nursing multiple injuries.
               
                      "Hey Vacant...Er..How did the fight go?" No1sey asked.

                      "It could've gone better" Vacant replied, wobbling slightly. Vacant eye's wandered over his comrades, before his eyebrows raised at the sight of Coryn. "Hey!!!" he cried pointing his finger at him. "What the hell!? How did you become a captain already!?".

                      "By being prepared" Coryn murmured shrugging his shoulders.

                      "Well that's no fair, I wanted to be the first one who made captain" Vacant said moodily. "Wait...Where's Lego!? Don't tell me he's trying to become a Captain too?!".

                      "Nah I wouldn't worry about that" No1sey laughed.

                     
                      Legomaestro was a lucky creature. He was so close to his goal. Almost there, but he couldn't rush himself, or else what he wished for so dearly would slip through his grasp. He trod as lightly as his paws allowed him too. He too had used his Shikai to change his form, his made him a green furred cat. His feline body allowed him to slip into smaller spaces that adult sized people couldn't, which was what he had taken advantage of now. He could smell bath soaps and perfumes on the mist that emanated from the bath house, as he tiptoed on top of the locker rooms.

                     "Oh mein gott!" he said under his breath, unable to contain himself. He heard the commotion outside, water splashing, ladies calling and laughing amongst themselves. He was so happy he'd paid for the DLC. Lego couldn't wait any longer he launched himself off the lockers, galloped through the beaded curtain doorway and dived into the bath.

                     "Rukia-chan!!! Rangiku-sama!!!" Lego cried in sweet bliss as he emerged from the hot water and opened his eyes. "......Uh!?". He wasn't greeted by the sight of the ladies of the Soul Society bathing. He could still hear them, although their bath was clearly divided from this one by the high bamboo fence. This bath was all but empty, save for one elderly man sporting a long snow white beard and equally long eyebrows.

                     "Well now...It's been a while since I've had company here" spoke the Captain Commander of the 13 court guard squads, Genryusei Yamamoto. "I hope you like your bath as hot as I do" he said, suddenly grasping his blade from the poolside and plunging it into the water. The bathwater bubbled and steam erupted from it, as the intense heat hit Lego's body. He remembered back to Sherbet telling him about the bath house. He'd said the ladies was on the left, so why weren't they here? Unless he'd got his directions all mixed up? Damn this Yamamoto, he'd ruined his ecchi fest and he could think of one word to call him.

                     "You Bastard!!"   

                     
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 29, 2016, 07:23:58 PM
Nice job everybody! We're about to start recording, so the polls are closed!

In the meantime, I'll post my own 'little' fan fic that I wrote.

THE CAPTAIN’S DILEMMA - A BLEACH FAN FICTION

Spoiler


CHAPTER 1
Dim sunlight came in through the windows of the 1st Squads’s meeting room. The Captain
Commander stood sullenly at the back of the room as the twelve lesser captains filed in. One eye
was closed in thought, and the other remained hidden behind a blue cloth which wrapped around
his head.
        “This whole thing reeks of bad timing.” He thought to himself. “I should have taken this
course from the very beginning.”
        The last to arrive was the recently minted Captain of the 11th Squad. He was tall and
dark skinned, with a large black afro masking his true height. An excellent fighter certainly,
however, his inability to adhere to the chain of command, and a disregard for tradition, had made
him an outcast among his fellow captains. More than that, he had insisted upon taking up the
name of “Kenpachi”, which had been in disuse for centuries thanks to the actions of its last
holder. It was a name those in the 11th Squad readily used, but was completely ignored by the
rest of the Gotei.
        “What are you bastards just standing around for? Let’s get this meeting in gear!” He
shouted while assuming his position.
His only response was a dignified silence from the other captains, and the banging of the
        Captain Commander’s hilt against the wooden floor.
        “That will be quite enough from you!”
        The ‘Kenpachi’ replied. “I just want to get back to my duties is all.”
        Sarcastic as it was, the Commander was satisfied, and relaxed somewhat before
beginning.
        “As you are all aware, ten days ago we received a report from West Rukongai of
disappearances taking place in the outer districts. The Lieutenant of the 10th Squad, along with
a contingent of Shinigami, were sent to investigate, but have since stopped reporting in. That was
two days ago. Subsequently, the reports have only intensified in number and scale.”
        He paused for a moment to let the captains process this information.
        “It was also asked that the Spiritual Wave Measurement Lab be on the lookout for any
strange readings from the area, however they are yet to detect anything unusual.”
        ‘Kenpachi’ scoffed across the aisle at the 12th Squad’s captain. Their stature was nearly
equal, however the pale skinned man showed little response to the action beneath his flowing
blond hair. Ignoring the action, the Captain Commander continued.
        “With this in mind, I have decided to send Captains Vacant and Sken to investigate these
rumors and recover our missing Shinigami, should they still be alive. Captain Lego is also to
accompany them, and is only to act as an observer.”
        Finally, Captain Commander Hasith addressed ‘Kenpachi’ directly. “After the incident
last month, it is a miracle that you still hold your rank. Observe your senior captains, and learn
from their example! And remember that you are still banned from combat of any sort, with the
exception of self-defense!”
        Lego picked his ear while replying. “Yeah, yeah! Like you haven’t told me enough
times!”
   “He should not have had to tell you once.” Replied Captain Sken of the 12th Squad,
who Lego had mocked earlier. “It should be common sense to even the lowliest Shinigami, that
one is not to obliterate three whole districts of Rukongai with and ill-advised bankai release.”
   “Like you would know!” The 11th Captain shouted back. “Awfully big words for a
Captain who tied his zanpakuto shut! What was the last time you even drew your poor sword?”
   Simon Vacant, 3rd Squad Captain, stepped out of the lineup just enough to direct
attention towards himself. “Come on lads, no need to get like this already, we haven’t even set
out yet. Save the fighting for the bad guys!”
   Lego looked like he was going to spit at his feet, but thought better of it at the last
second. “Quiet Vacant! I get enough lip from Martin, don’t need it from you as well.”
   The 4th Squad Captain spoke up to defend himself, unwilling to be dragged into an
argument he wanted no part of. “My name’s no’ Martin! And for the las’ time: I’ was healing
drought, not “left out rubbin’ alcohol”, as I recall you puttin’ it.”
   “Enough!” The Captain Commander’s sword came down with a sharp crack, bringing
order to the room. “I will not have a battle break out in these chambers! The three of you are to
leave immediately. Your Lieutenants have already been informed. Dismissed!”
   With one last crack of his sword the captains dispersed, leaving Captain Commander
Hasith alone with his thoughts.
   “If that wannabe Kenpachi doesn’t fix his ways soon, we may be in for a much bigger
crisis than a few missing Shinigami.”



Spoiler
CHAPTER 2

Even with the speed of a captain, it took nearly two days to reach the outskirts of West
Rukongai. Despite the rampant distrust for Shinigami, especially for those such as Lego, whose
recent actions had earned him special animosity, each captain had chosen to wear their official
haori. This had earned them more than a few insults as they traveled, however after crossing over
into the 70th District, there had been a marked shift in the atmosphere. Where the residents they
had passed earlier were still going about life as normal, the souls they found in each subsequent
district was quieter, timid, and by the time they reached District 76, entirely absent all together.
The three captains slowed to a walking pace upon arriving at the first ruin. What once
had surely been a normal village not long before, was now a smoldering heap of burnt out
buildings and cast aside goods.
   After spreading out, Vacant found himself prowling through one of the more intact
buildings. He was still within earshot of Coryn, who walked a mirror path along the street,
scanning objects with a device he had produced from within his kimono.
   “Have you found anything of interest Coryn?”
   The 12th Squad Captain slid the scanner into some unseen pocket before drifting closer
to the wreck.
   “Only that the fire was naturally set. Otherwise there should be some trace of the
arsonist’s reishi.”
   Vacant stroked the brown hairs of his beard. “Your scans didn’t detect anything before,
but I don’t feel anything either. Could this be an unrelated incident?”
   Shaking his head, Coryn replied. “I don’t think so. The coincidence would be too great.
Besides, this village was only destroyed about a week ago at most.”
   “If it was our target, then why is there no reishi remaining? Some sort of hollow that
manipulates others perhaps? Mind controls a soul to destroy their own village?”
   Coryn shrugged. “Or perhaps it wasn’t a hollow, but a normal soul.”
   The eyes of the other captain narrowed. “That wouldn’t explain the disappearance of the
Shinigami team.”
   “No, it wouldn’t, but at this time I don’t know what to make of the threat. There still isn’t
enough information. Our best course of action might simply be to lure our foe into the open.”
   Vacant chuckled quietly. “That sounds like something Lego would say. Which of course
is our other problem.
   Coryn stopped as Vacant exited the building. Together they turned their gaze through the
wreckage at the 11th Squad’s leader, who was idly kicking around bits of rubble farther down
the street. Vacant continued sarcastically.
“You almost get the sense he doesn’t want to be here. And I’m not sure I want to be out
here with him. I heard the only reason Hasith didn’t throw him in the Maggot’s Nest is because
he’d kill everyone else already down there.”
   “And it is against our policy to execute most offenders.”
   “Which means we just wait for him to what? Go rogue when we’re least prepared?”
   Coryn shot Lego once last glance before turning to Vacant. “If it comes to that, we still
have the advantage of numbers, as well as experience.”
   “You telling me you’ll actually draw that blade of yours?”
   They both looked at the zanpakuto protruding from Coryn’s haori. The sheath and guard
had been tied tightly together with a purple rope, such that it would be impossible for the blade
to slide out even an inch. Coryn quickly rearranged his robes to hide his sword.
   “Not if it can be helped. But not to worry, if ‘Kenpachi’ really does try something, I
won’t let you fight him alone.”
   After a sigh, Vacant winked at his fellow captain. “That’s not really what I asked, but I’ll
take it.”
   As if on cue, a massive wave of spiritual energy hit the pair from the direction of their
third companion. Looking up however, they could see that it wasn’t actually emanating from him
at all. In fact, the force crashing against them was from an unseen point much farther up the road.
At once sensing what his action would be, the two captains called out at Lego together, but to
little avail. The battle hungry captain was already running at full speed towards their unknown
enemy.

Spoiler

CHAPTER 3

After a short sprint down the road, Lego arrived at the base of a mountain path. The way forward
quickly disappeared among the winding rock passage, and he studied it for just long enough that
his fellow captains arrived behind him.
   “Glad to see you waited up!” Chimed Vacant. “That spiritual pressure has subsided some,
but it was definitely somewhere in there. We should go above, see if we can’t get the drop on
them.”
   Lego smiled to himself. “I have a better idea. You two stay here, and I blast through the
rock and take them on myself!”
   “Your punishment is still in effect, so you will do no such thing.” Said Coryn. “But there
are alternatives. I have downloaded a map of the terrain. About half way through the pass, there
is a large clearing, which I suspect is where that reishi we detected was coming from. Let us go.”
   Coryn leaped high into the air, setting himself on an arc which the other captains hoped
would lead them straight to the clearing.

   Farther within the pass, outside a worn down temple building into the cliff-face, a
Shinigami cut down a black clad foe with her zanpakuto. Breathing hard, and still with her sword
at the ready, she detected rapidly advancing spirit signatures. Expecting enemy reinforcements,
she swung her body around, raising an arm as she did.
   “Hado 31: Shakka-!”
   Her arm was jerked to the side by her wrist. Vacant stood before her, smiling and with
her palm pointed safely away from his face. The Shinigami’s face twisted from anger, to
surprise, and finally to relief.
   “Captain! What are you doing out here?”
   Vacant released her arm. “Oh you know, we just went out for a cheeky little walk, and
what do you know? We find you here in a spot of trouble!”
   “We?”
   It was only now that she noticed the other two captains that accompanied him. Lego was
sulking towards the back of the clearing, glaring at the temple in front of him. Coryn calmly
strode up to Vacant’s side.
   “Mahlua Milk, 10th Squad Lieutenant, correct?”
   Mahlua straightened up, doing her best to salute with a bleeding arm. “Yes Captain! I
was tasked with investigating the disappearances! All was quiet for the first few days, but we
were ambushed, and have been on the defensive for the last four days!”
   Vacant eyed the body before her. It had been a soul wearing simple white robes, and
wielded a sword, but not a zanpakuto.
   “And what about him?”
   Mahlua turned to look at the body as well. “One of our attackers. We’re not sure where
they came from, or what they’re motivations are.”
   Lego had made is way forward as well. “If they’re just normal souls, there should be no
reason they gave you even slight trouble.”
   “I can’t explain it Sir. But they all had more than enough spiritual power to be Shinigami.
I did not recognize any of them however. We manage to capture one for a short while, but he
only spouted nonsense during interrogation.”
   Coryn stroked his chin. “I suppose we’ll just have to see for ourselves. Tell me
Lieutenant, where was that wave of spiritual pressure coming from just a minute ago.”
   Mahlua pointed towards he temple with her zanpakuto. “Inside. There are two left, which
I believe were the leaders. They’re hold up tight inside the temple somewhere.”
   “Very good. Vacant and I shall go in and deal with them. Lego, please see to the
Lieutenants wounds the best you can. I can’t imagine you needing your supply of medicine
anytime soon.”
   Lego grunted in reply, but pulled out a small vile and tossed it to Mahlua.
   “I thought the point was for me to ‘learn from your actions’.”
   “Caring for the wounded. That’s lesson number 1. Now then.”
   Coryn turned towards the temple’s entrance with Vacant close behind. The darkness soon
enveloped them, and Mahlua was left to wait with the grumbling 11th Squad Captain.

Spoiler
CHAPTER 4

Upon passing through the temple’s threshold, the two captains realized that the building was far
larger than the exterior would suggest, stretching far back into the mountain. Above them they
noted an elevated walkway carved into the stone, and most importantly, the two men standing on
top of it. They wore white robes like the body outside, but instead of basic swords, wielded
something altogether different.
   “Those are asauchi! Where did they even get a pair?” Exclaimed Vacant.
   Coryn motioned to him, slowly circling to the right. “We can find out after we catch
them.”
   Noting the unease of the men, Coryn stopped and waved at them. “Sorry to just barge in
here like this, but we really need you to come with us.”
   “Go to hell!” Replied the man on the left.
   Vacant smirked. “Well that went well. Maybe next we should have them over for tea?”
   Rolling his eyes, Coryn raised an arm. “Hard way it is then. Bakudo 4: Hainawa!”
   A pair of golden robes burst from Coryn’s hand and raced toward the pair, but they shot
down connecting hallways, and the kido broke apart harmlessly on the stone wall.
   “Good job. Now they’re separated.” Said Vacant as he was already rushing to follow the
man on the left. Coryn went for the corridor on the right, but offered no comeback.

   After a short jog, Vacant found himself in an open cavern. Pale streams of light came in
from holes in the roof above them, but to his surprise, Vacant found his opponent had come to a
halt, and was facing him head on.
   “Don’t think just ‘cause you’re some fancy captain that you can stand against me!”
   “Look friend, there’s no need to do anything rash. Why don’t you just put down the
sword and come peacefully? You aren’t going to do much with an unformed zanpakuto now are
you?”
   The man laughed, and drew the sword. “Just watch me!”
   A vortex of reishi shot out from the soul, and blasted up to the roof of the cavern. Upon
dissipating, the sword was gone, replaced with a cestus on each of the man’s hands, three short
dagger-like blades protruding from the knuckles.
   “Well…” Cooed Vacant, “This just got a lot more interesting.”

   Coryn had found himself in a basin somewhere deeper in the valley. The passageway had
opened into it, and there was no obvious exit aside from straight up. His foe had just finished
awakening his zanpakuto, which had turned into an overly large scimitar, easily as long as its
wielder was talk.
   “So then, you are Shinigami after all. What squad do you belong to? Where did your
original zanpakuto go?”
   “Quiet!” Shouted the man. “You have no idea what’s going on here! The Gotei
abandoned us long ago, we will see it’s destruction!”
   Coryn raised an eyebrow, but otherwise dropped into fighting position. “That really is
some troubling news. I hate to tell you this though, but you’re quite a long way from the
Seireitei.”
   His only response was laughter. “You’re the ones being played! This is merely a sacrifice
for the greater dream! We thought we were down on our luck, just getting a lousy lieutenant sent
after us. Imagine our surprise when three captains came out here!”
   Surprise flashed across Coryn’s face, but he quickly hid it. “What?”
   “Just you wait, this is the end for the Shinigami. My name is Goro, remember it well, for
I will be the man who kills you!”

   The man Vacant had come to know was named ‘Michi’ lunged furiously at him before
Vacant had even had the chance to introduce himself in return. As such, he wasn’t quite sure
what the proper next step to take was.
   “That is some very poor etiquette.”
   As Michi came in for another barrage of attacks, Vacant calmly passed through them, and
smacked the man’s chest with an open palm. Michi was sent reeling back, and Vacant took an
over exaggerated gasp.
   “That’s really impressive friend! But you should really let your opponent introduce
themselves before attacking! It’s just good manners.”
   Michi’s eyes narrowed, and dropped into a low stance. “Fine then, tell me your name.”
   Vacant smiled. “Ah that’s much better. My name is Simon Vacant, Captain of Squad 3.
And you are actually a Shinigami are you not?”
   “That’s not really what you should be concerned about, considering I’m about to end
your life. Draw your sword Captain! Show me your power!”
   Bemusement drew across Vacant’s face. “Very well, if you insist. But I’ll tell you right
now, they don’t hand out these stylish haori for nothing.”
   Vacant reached down to draw his blade, and reishi began to swirl around his feet.
   “Reach out, Miezarute!”
   The blade was drawn in a flash, but like a magician pulling a card trick, Vacant’s sword
and sheath had disappeared in the motion. At first Michi believed that the captain had launched
the weapon at him, but when Vacant began staring around at the ground, he realized something
was amiss.
   “What are you...”
   “Sorry!” Replied Vacant. “I just seem to have misplaced my zanpakuto! This is really
embarrassing for a captain you know!”
   Vacant was now walking around the area, making a non-committal line towards the
Shinigami.
   “Could you must move aside? I think I saw it around here somewhere…”
   Vacant put his hand on Michi’s shoulder and pushed him gently to the side, but as he did,
Michi felt a great pain where the contact had been made. Leaping to the far side of the cavern, he
glanced down at his shoulder and to his horror, found it to be a bloody mess. A hand shaped hole
cut straight through his robes, and down into his flesh. It was as if a million tiny blades cut into
him, cleaving off bits of flesh as they went.
   “Oh! There it is!”
   The captains cheerful voice had caught him off guard. Vacant was standing with both
hands in the air, as if to reveal something to the lesser Shinigami.
   “What the hell? What kind of monster are you?!”
   Vacant’s smile turned to a face of disappointment. “Tell me Michi, have you ever heard
the tale of King Midas? It’s an old story from the world of the living. A king possesses the ability
to turn everything he touches to gold. At first it seems like a blessing, but it soon becomes his
undoing. The ability of my Miezarute is something like that. Except that instead of gold,
everything I touch…is simply destroyed.”
   Horrible realization dawned across Michi’s face, but it soon faded to determination. He
started flash stepping across the grotto, circling the captain and looking for a weakness.
   “Damn him! Even a captain shouldn’t have an ability that terrifying! But that means he
still has to come into very close range, and my blades will give me the advantage!”
   Michi sprung from Vacant’s blind spot, intent on plunging both bladed fists into his neck.
   “You lose, Gotei slave!”
   Just as the distance was closed, Vacant turned, casually waving his hand before him. In
an instant Michi found his left arm sailing across the room, fully detached at the elbow. His right
hand was about to strike, but the realization that he was magnificently outclassed had already hit.
Vacant’s smiled seemed suddenly much more sinister.
   “Good bout friend. Sorry there won’t be a rematch.”

Coryn immediately pegged his opponent for the slow, lumbering type, then again, he had
been wrong before.
   When Goro’s first attack came, it happened with surprising speed, and although it sailed
past him harmlessly, Coryn made a mental note to be more careful.
   “Fight like a man!” Shouted Goro, taking another great swing over his head. Coryn raised
an arm. “Perhaps you should redefine the term. Hado 1: Sho!”
   The great blade wavered from the impact, but Coryn was still forced to dodge to the left.
Before he was clear, Goro twisted the blade, sending a shower of rocks flying at the captain, and
followed it up with another wide slash. Coryn allowed the rocks to pummel him but blocked
sword with his right arm and a well-timed Bakudo spell. With Goro now in point blank range,
Coryn pointed his free hand directly at his opponent’s chest. “Hado 4: Byakurai.”
   Goro’s speed saved his life, but he was left with a burning hole through his right arm for
his trouble. The smell of burning flesh was not a pleasant one, even when the flesh in question
was technically an illusion. Coryn took a few steps back as the smell hit him, leaving Goro to
howl obscenities at him while clutching his wounded arm.
   “Bastard! Draw your sword already! Don’t tell me you only know those damn spells!”
   Coryn cocked his head. “Big guy, giant sword, dislike of Kido. I’ll wager you were
Squad 11?” Goro only spat at him in response. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
   Pulling aside his captain’s haori, Coryn displayed the bound zanpakuto at his waist. “As
you can see, I do not draw my blade lightly, in fact I take great pains not to do so.”
   This time Goro charged at him. “What kind of Shinigami are you then?!” The attack
came first from the left, and then the right. Coryn leaped and landed on top of the wide blade on
the third swing. “Hado 11: Tsuzuri Raiden.”
   A strong electric current poured from Coryn’s feet, through the blade, and into Goro’s
hands. The initial shock forced his right hand to release its grip, leaving the sword to smash into
the ground beneath the captain’s weight. Goro was carried with it, but soon found himself
careening back into the basin wall, propelled by an exploding ball of red flame.
   As Goro strained to raise his head from where he was embedded in the stone, he could
see Coryn standing onto of his zanpakuto, hopelessly out of reach. Struggling to free himself,
Goro watched as Coryn formed his hands into a distinct gesture.
   “You’ll all die Shinigami scum!”
   Coryn began to chant. “O Lord, mask of flesh and bone, all creation, flutter of wings…”
   The rock cracked around Goro as he strained against it. “You think you are so high and
mighty?! Sitting in your fortress?!”
   “Ye who bears the name of man, truth and temperance…”
Goro had freed one of his arms, if he could only get the other out as well. “Slaves! The
cycle of life doesn’t even need you!”
   “Upon this sinless wall of dreams unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws!”
   The rouge Shinigami was completely free of the rock, but before he could take three steps
towards the captain, Coryn finished his incantation. “Hado 33: Sokatsui!” A wave of blue flames
burst forward and engulfed Goro, silencing him. Coryn knew he had finished his opponent long
before the effects of the spell subsided, as the large zanpakuto he stood upon broke apart,
returning to it’s original, un-awakened form. Retrieving the weapon from the ground, Coryn
inspected it, memorizing every scratch and nick the blade had sustained. “A world without
Shinigami? That is not a world I wish to see.”


Spoiler
CHAPTER 5

Dark clouds greeted Coryn and Vacant as they emerged from the temple, each carrying the
empty asauchi of their defeated quarry. Mahlua was laid out on a rock slab at the bottom of the
cliff-side. Her wounds were bandaged with fresh linens from Lego’s field kit, but were closed off
in ugly knots, clear evidence of the 11th Squad Captain’s lack of skill. Her breaths were even
and deep, indicating she was resting relatively peacefully.
Looking across the path, the pair of captains spotted Lego, he was standing somewhat
patiently with a bored look on his face. Below his left food however, was a third soul who was
new to the scene, but was obviously badly wounded. Coryn struck out towards Lego. “What is
this all about? Did I not remind you that your punishment was still in effect?”
Rolling his eyes, Lego stepped off of the man, and give him a swift kick. In response the
soul grunted, but remain unconscious. “It was in self-defense, which I am allowed to respond to.
This guy tried to take us by surprise, for all the good it did him.”
   At this distance Coryn was able to tell that the man wore the same white clothing as their
opponents from earlier, however they had been covered with enough blood to obscure the fact.
“Did you get any information from him?”
   Lego spat on the ground before responding. “Yeah, I managed to learn a thing or two.
Sounds like these guys were just a diversion to split up our forces.”
   Approaching at a steadier pace, Vacant rejoined the other captains. “That matches up
with what we learned as well. Is there anything else?”
   “Just the little detail that there were a few other distraction groups as well. I guess they
were holding off until after we left. Try to make the problem seem worse.” Coryn nodded his
head. “So that just leaves one more question; when are they planning their main action?”
   “Good question. Let’s find out.” Lego gave the man another sharp kick, but this time it
was directly into his ribs. Shocked to consciousness, the rouge Shinigami shot up into a sitting
position, but was quickly forced back down by Lego’s foot. “Morning sunshine. We have a few
questions.”
   Vacant squatted down, getting right above the man’s face. “We’ve already dealt with
your friends inside the temple. There won’t be any help coming from that direction. And since
you’ve already revealed a few secrets so willingly, I’m going to assume you’ll divulge just a
little bit more. So tell me, Ex-shinigami, just what is going on here?”
   The man attempted to spit in Vacant’s face, but with what little energy he could muster,
the concoction of blood and spittle just landed back on his chin. “Screw you…”
Vacant smiled back. “Very pretty picture you make. Alright then, I’ll settle for a simpler
question. When?”
   At this the man began to laugh, despite the obvious pain it caused him. “That I can tell
you! And I’m happy to say that it’s already too late for you to make any difference. The plan is
finished tonight! I don’t care how fast you captains are; you can’t make it back to the Seireitei in
three hours!”
   This time it was Vacant that knocked the man back into unconsciousness. He stood
slowly, pacing his breaths, but was obviously troubled by the news. “If the Seireitei really is in
danger, then he’s right. There is no way for us to reach it by nightfall.”
   The cliff-wall exploded as Lego slammed his fist into it. “Damn it! We’ve been played
for fools! I should have never been sent on this mission! It would be one thing if you two
weaklings were sent off, but if there’s enemies in the Seireitei that need destroying, then I should
be the one to do it!”
   Coryn had remained calm, slowly stroking his chin in contemplation, but was broken out
of it when he heard Mahlua approaching him from the side. “I suppose you heard everything
Milk?”
   She blew past the question. “Is it true Captain? Can you three really not get back in
time?”
   Coryn looked towards the sun, which was now nearly obscured by the oncoming storm
clouds. Slowly he followed its path through the sky with his eyes. Back to the east, back towards
the Seireitei. “I may have a solution.” The other captains turned towards him, questioning looks
on their faces. “But…I can’t say with one-hundred percent certainty that it will work.”
   Vacant narrowed his eyes, furrowing his brow. “Just tell us what it is, and we will worry
about the risks later.”
   Shrugging, Coryn reached into his kimono and retrieved a small, disk shaped object. A
translucent sphere floated in the devices center, which contained what seemed to Vacant, a shard
of bone. Holding the object before him, Coryn began to explain. “This was a theoretical device I
found in the notes of my predecessor. I do not know why he abandoned his research on it.
Perhaps he lost interest, or more disturbingly: it became obsolete to him. But for whatever the
reason, it remained unconstructed until I rediscovered it.”
   Lego raised his voice just enough to show his annoyance. “Cut to the chase already!
What does it do?”
   Coryn ran his finger along the device, causing the symbols along its circumference to
light up. “It is designed to consume pieces of a hollow’s mask, and in doing so, use the spiritual
energy released to open a Garganta.”
   Vacant did his best not to let his mouth drop open. “But a Garganta only connects to
Hueco Mundo! What good would going there be?” The device now seemed to be fully charged,
and Coryn was drawing a black line against the open space between them and the temple with it.
   “That is where you are wrong. The sigils on the device allow the Garganta to be
redirected. The technology isn’t perfect however, and on occasion the Garganta will still deposit
you at a random location in Hueco Mundo.”
   This unnerved even Lego, who showed a small amount of surprise. “Hey…Just how
many times have you used this thing anyways?” Before Coryn could reply, reality warped and
split open before them. Space opened up like a pair of jagged teeth, revealing an infinitely deep
black cavity before them. Coryn took a step into the Garganta, and motioned for the others to do
the same. “Unfortunately, there is no way to know if you’ll end up where you want to until you
reach the other side. And even with this pathway, the fastest I expect to arrive will be in about
four hour’s time.”
   Mahlua stepped forward, inspecting the maw. “A full hour after the attack is supposed to
begin…”
   Lego roared at the sky, but stepped forward anyway. “Fine then! I’ve always wanted to
visit Hueco Mundo anyway! You bastards better not fall behind now! Milk, if you slow us down,
I won’t hesitate to make Vacant carry you. Let’s go!”

Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 29, 2016, 07:34:35 PM
Spoiler
CHAPTER 6

Seireitei was already burning when the Garganta opened in the sky above it. Mahlua was still on
her feet, but collapsed upon seeing the sight. “I can’t believe this… how did this even happen?”
   The rest of the captains stepped out as the Garganta closed. Coryn glanced around and
took note of the scene. “The Seiremon is already closed. If this attack came from the outside, the
damage wouldn’t have been nearly this bad.”
   “Agreed.” Chimed Vacant. “And considering that the perpetrators seem to be Shinigami,
I can only imagine that it’s an inside threat that we’re dealing with.”
   Lego was already bashing his fists together. “Who cares! Just feeling all that killing
intent in the air! Let’s get to it!”
   Coryn sighed but chuckled sensibly as a follow up. “Somehow I can’t imagine the
Captain Commander will be too offended if you happen to break your probation this time.”
   The captains suddenly found themselves confronted by a member of the Stealth Force.
The shinigami was clad head to toe in black, and her short zanpakuto was clearly covered in
blood. “Captains, we weren’t expecting you to return so soon! Please, there is no time for
explanations. My captain requested your presence as soon as he realized you were back!”
   Vacant smirked at the 2nd Squad member. “I’ll never figure out how that guy happens to
know exactly when people become available. First though, we have a Lieutenant here who could
use some medical attention.”
   “Sir, the Captain of Squad 4 is already on location!”
   Smiling, Vacant hoisted up the wounded Mahlua. “Maybe our luck is turning around
then. Stay safe kid.” Vacant flash stepped away with Lego and Coryn not far behind, leaving the
bewildered Stealth Squad member alone to wonder how they had appeared in the sky.

   Vacant touched down in a far corner of Squad 2’s campus. The area was densely wooded,
but only Lego and Mahlua seemed to be confused. “Oi, where are we? I’ve never seen this part
of Squad 2’s barracks.”
   “That’s because you haven’t been around long enough.” Coryn retorted. “They use this
area for training, among other things.”
   “Ehhh?” Moaned Lego, scratching at his head. “Other things like what?”
   The answer appeared before him as the trees thinned and they found themselves facing an
impossibly wide moat. A long bridge had extended across it at some point to a walled island at
its center, but the area had recently seen much destruction. Standing beside the bridge’s start
were two more white clad figures. The first was a man named Sherbet Lemon, who Lego had
insulted at the captains meeting two days previously. He wore a bored look on his face, and was
occasionally yawning. The second man was the captain of Squad 2. Known only by the moniker
‘Manimal’, no living soul reaper claimed to know what he really looked like, as none of them
had ever seen his face. He covered it at all times with a wooden kitsune mask, which he had
decorated with black and white designs. Instead of a zanpakuto, he carried an electric guitar that
he had somehow smuggled from the world of the living on his back at all times.
   Manimal was deep in a one sided conversation about some human musical group when
he first noticed the arrival of the other three captains, but quickly shifted gears to the task at
hand. “Yo guys! You got here really fast! I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
   “You should be surprised they’re here at all!” Shouted Sherbet, who was already
attending to Mahlua. While pouring something which smell suspiciously like sake down her
throat, he turned back up to his fellow captains. “If you haven’t gathered by now, it’s this guy’s
fault that we’re in this mess.”
   Manimal shrugged. “Yeah I guess so…Looks like some of the prisoners in the Nest
hatched some sort of plan to break out and stuff. I didn’t read the report but I guess they’re out
now?”
   Sherbet stood. “Pretty much every shinigami we locked up in there who had the mental
capacity to break out did. They even raided the Academy so they’re equipped with their
zanpakuto to boot.”
   “Uh-huh.” Continued Manimal. “I guess there were a handful of guys down there who
became the ringleaders. All of the other captains are busy dealing with their own problems, so
that leaves three of the bigwigs left to take out.”
   Sherbet took a drink from a flask he had produced from his kimono. “The three biggest
near we can tell. Don’t know about the other two, but the head honcho is some guy named
Takeshi Arihyoshi. Locked him up a while back according to the records. But definitely captain
class that one.”
   Sherbet tried to take another drink, but was interrupted by Lego. “So why exactly aren’t
either of you two out fighting then?”
   “Because…” Replied Sherbet, in between gulps. “My bankai ain’t worth *censored* in a fight.
And guitar hero over here because he has to make sure whoever is left down there doesn’t wise
up and try to make like a bird.” Sherbet turned away, but under his breath Vacant heard
something about how “It’s always the dumbasses you have to worry about most.”
   Manimal rubbed his mop of brown hair, and laughed a little to lighted the mood. “So do
you got all that big guy?”
   Lego scratched his afro. “I don’t really know what this whole prison thing is about…” He
broke out into a wide grin. “But I do get that you need me to kill the really tough guy!” Golden
reiatsu burst out from around his feet. “This is going to be good! You other two can have the
underlings!” Instead of flash-stepping away like a sensible shinigami, Lego launched himself
into the air with brute force, no doubt in the direction of the strongest reiatsu that he could lock
on to. Coryn and Vacant both shrugged at their fellow captains, before disappearing themselves.
Again, Vacant heard Sherbet muttering under his breath.

Spoiler
CHAPTER 7
Lego was the first to arrive at this destination. Above the execution grounds stood an older man,
who might have been in his fifties had he been a human. Long gray hair streaked down into his
back, tied into a loose ponytail. A scraggly beard covered his face, but it could not hide several
long scars which streaked along its surface. Lego smirked at the man. “I’ll take it you’re Takeshi
Arihyoshi. Nice robes you’ve got there. You better not have stolen those off of one of my men.”
   Takeshi turned towards Lego, a look of slight bemusement on his face. “Ah, I was
wondering when they were going to send someone after me. I had expected the Captain
Commander. But I suppose the dog will do.”
   “What was that?!” Lego howled.
   Now it was Takeshi’s turn to smile. “I know all about you, ‘Kenpachi’. In fact, we’ve
been keeping well in touch with the goings on of the Gotei 13. And you are nothing more than its
rabid dog, with a leash so tight its embarrassing to even call yourself a shinigami.”
   Lego had already pounced on the man, zanpakuto drawn. “Let me show you just what
kind of shinigami I am!”

   When Vacant arrived at the sourced of reiatsu he had detected, he was unsure of what to
expect, but quickly found himself wishing he had switched opponents with Coryn. “Oh you can’t
be serious…”
   Before him stood a hulking figure, easily as large as any of the gatekeepers of the
Seiremon. The great figure slowly turned, and to his horror, Vacant noticed that he was carrying
a zanpakuto large enough to match the giant’s size. The two met eyes, and Vacant managed a
casual wave before the sword crashed down upon him. Vacant flash stepped out of the way, but
was still pelted with flying debris. “You really are a big guy huh? What’s your name? I’m
Vacant by the way, of the 3rd Squad.”
   The giant stopped, for a moment. “My name is Brutus, ex-guardian of the Red Hollow
Gate.”
   “Oh…” Vacant came to a stop. “And why is it exactly that you were locked away?”
   Brutus seemed to stop to think for a moment. “They, feared me…”
   Vacant’s face betrayed his curiosity. “Feared you?”
   In response, Brutus pulled up his blade, and plunged it into the ground. “Crumble, Hasai-
Jishin!”
   
   Coryn had found himself out on the forested Shinigami Acadamy grounds. The reiatsu he
had detected was strong, yet had been surrounded by other signatures. Half way there however,
the rest of the reiatsus had disappeared, leaving only the original. Upon arrival, he realized why.
Before him stood a much younger shinigami with his blade drawn. Surrounding him were
downed trees and scorch marks. The ground had been so heavily burnt in some places that it had
destroyed all foliage, and left the each cracked and devoid of all moisture. The boy had been
inspecting the blast sites, but turned towards Coryn when he had touched down.
   “Ah, hello Captain Sken. I had hoped you would be the one they sent after me.”
   Coryn cocked an eyebrow. “Me? Might I inquire to how you even know my name? I
don’t suppose you get Seireitei Communication down in the Nest.”
   The boy laughed. His voice was light, but betrayed something sinister. “That’s true. We
had to be very careful in our research. But it was worth it. I dare say that you are my perfect
opponent.”
   Coryn opened his mouth to voice his next question, but was cut short when he realized
the boy was already behind him. A sharp pain in his shoulder also alerted him to the fact that the
boy had managed to land a hit as well. His haori was cut clean through, and the wound was very
shallow. But before Coryn could air his grievances on this fact, he found his body being flooded
with reishi, his own power growing at a rapid, but constant rate. Turning he found the boy,
standing calmly behind him. “You’re zanpakuto, it’s already released?”
   The boy smiled, and held up the perfectly normal looking blade. “Correct! My
zanpakuto’s true power has nothing to do with the physical shape. Instead, it just amplifies the
reiatsu of anything it cuts.”
   Coryn chuckled. “Then it’s not a very good idea to go cutting your opponents now is it?”
   The boy cocked his head. “Oh come now. I would have thought you’re smarter than that
Captain Sken. A shinigami and his reishi is just like a shishi-odoshi. Any one soul can only
contain so much, and like the bamboo, once it’s filled completely, it topples, releasing the
water.”
   Coryn suddenly realized what had happened to the boy’s soul reaper opponents, and
where the explosions had originated. “Those shinigami, they couldn’t release the built up power
fast enough.”
   “Exactly!” Exclaimed the boy. “I knew you would figure it out! Of course, the power
increases aren’t going to stop, so you’ll just have to keep hemorrhaging power until I release
you, or you reach your breaking point.”
   Coryn smiled. “Do you really think that a captain will have trouble with this? Our bodies
hold more reishi than ten shinigami put together. And we don’t have much problem releasing it.”
   The boy frowned at him. “Don’t be so quick to gloat. I haven’t told you the best part yet.
The power increase grows exponentially, so you have to waste more and more. You can try kido
spells, but for a captain for your level, they hardly have an impact. Really, the only way to
disgorge enough energy is through your zanpakuto.”
   Coryn glanced down at his bound sword. “Is this some sort of sick game then?”
   “Call it curiosity.” Replied the young shinigami. “Will you break your vow to save your
life? I want to see your bankai Captain. And incidentally, it is also the only way to save your
life.” He took a few steps back into the woods. “My name is Pippin Kogo, by the way. A
pleasure to meet you.”
   
   Lego and Takeshi were already well into their fight by the time he realized that was
anything was wrong, but by then he didn’t really care. Takeshi blocked a strike with surprising
force, and Lego was launched several dozen feet back. “Stand down Captain! This is not a battle
you can win! We have already won.”
   “Shut it!” Roared Lego, as he flew at Takeshi, zanpakuto over his head.
   Takeshi dropped down and lunged forward. “You’re full of openings!” They clashed,
Lego’s sword cut down into the larger man’s shoulder, but his own sword had pierced Lego’s
side. Wasting no time however, they broke apart and regrouped.
   Lego felt at his wound, and inspected the amount of blood pouring from it. “Just a flesh
wound. You’re pretty rusty Takeshi!”
   “I could say the same about you. Or perhaps you’re just unprepared for an opponent
stronger than you? A man who crushes ants will be killed by the boar.”
   “How about I show you just how powerful I really am!” Reishi burst from his body,
flying out in waves and pushing back the moonlit clouds. Lego pointed his sword at the moon,
and swung it in a quick circle around his body. “Strike down, Raiouoni!” A lightning bolt shot
down from the sky, blinding Takeshi and covering his body in light. Takeshi raised his blade to
defend himself, but instead found himself dodging to avoid a bolt of lightning which came all too
close to vaporizing his head. Chancing a glance back towards his open, Takeshi watch as a black
slash appeared through the haze of light, bisecting it and blasting the two halves away. Lego was
still, but his blade had elongated, and was wreathed in electricity. Electricity arced its way down
the blade, constantly shooting off as they reached the tip.
   Finally seeing that he was not in immediate danger, Takeshi stepped back down, and tried
to size up his opponent’s blade. “I see…For a captain of your reputation, I anticipated a far
flashier release.”
   Lego grinned back at him. “Really? I always thought it was a little too dramatic. My
squad doesn’t really go in for gimmicky weapons. However…” Lego brought up his blade,
pointing it at Takeshi. “In my case, we made a bit of an exception.”
   “Hah! Well then I hope you can show me your true power!” Takeshi grabbed the base of
his sword’s blade with his left hand. “Drip down ink upon the world, drown all the oceans with
blackness!” He drew his blade down, coating the blade from guard to tip in blood. “Kuroi-
Mikadzuike!” Black smoke poured from the guard of his zanpakuto, quickly enveloping him.
The smoke soon contracted, and seemed to harden around his arms and blade. Lego found his
enemy wearing dark metal armor covering his arms and shoulders, and that his zanpakuto had
transformed into a long scythe, made of the same material.
   “A shinigami with a scythe, how cliché. Please tell me that you have something fancier
up your sleeve.”
   Takeshi showed no emotion towards him. “I wouldn’t be so quick to judge, wild dog.”
   Lego was vaguely aware that he was blocking a swing from the scythe’s curved blade,
but the next thing he knew his back was turning the crossbeam of the gallows into dust. Reality
caught up to him as he landed on the precipice of the hill, forcing blood out of his mouth and
onto his chest. “What the hell?”
   Takeshi was already standing in front of him, and slowly took a few steps towards Lego.
“Sorry about that, I should have given you a little more warning.” He came to a halt. “My
zanpakuto is Kuroi-Mikadzuike. There’s nothing too special about it. It’s more of a hassle than
anything to be honest. Its power waxes and wanes with the moon, so that’s why we planned the
break out at sunset on the night of the full moon. So…” He raised the scythe above his head.
“Please hold still, I don’t want this to hurt any more than it has to.” Takeshi brought his blade
down, but was surprised to find it stop short. Below him Lego had raised his blade, and caught
the scythe by the very tip. Takeshi could now see clearly the blade’s side, and noticed a long
jagged line which ran its length. At the base however, he could see that the dark line was partly
filled with light, creeping up a few centimeters from the guard.
   “Let me tell you something good.” Said Lego. “But first…” Lego pushed back, forcing
Takeshi’s scythe back and into the air. With a single leap, he launched himself from the ground
and smashed his head into Takeshi’s face, who reeled backwards. “I don’t give a damn about
how your zanpakuto works!” With another slash aimed at his chest, he cut though his robes, but
only landed a superficial blow. “And I don’t care about your plan!” Takeshi avoided another
slash, and landed back beneath the gallows. “All I gathered from that is that you’re at your best
right now!”
   Lego thrust his sword forward and another bolt of lightning arced from it. Takeshi flash
stepped safely to the top of the now broken gallows. Lego thrust his blade out so Takeshi could
see the side. To his surprise, the glowing line had grown down the blade. “See this? That line on
my blade grows the longer I fight! I can’t activate my bankai until it’s full okay? So don’t die
until it’s ready!”
   Takeshi smiled down at him. “I think I can manage that. Now, show me why you deserve
to be called ‘Kenpachi’!”
   “Hahaha! Well then…” Lego exploded with reishi, blasting out a crater in the hill and
launching himself at Takeshi. “Let me show you, why I’m the strongest man in the Gotei 13!”

   Vacant pushed as much blood out of his eyes as he could. Brutus had proved to be a
much more powerful opponent than he had anticipated. His released zanpakuto had covered him
head to foot in rock, and he was charging through buildings as if they were paper. Vacant had
managed to stay well ahead of him, but the real danger was coming from the Seiremon itself.
   He hadn’t detected it initially, but there were now dozens of distinct energy signatures
surrounding the wall’s exterior. They had begun to move inwards, and were taking the wall with
them. Most importantly however, Vacant realized that they all shared the same reiatsu, that of the
giant chasing behind him.
   “So you’ve felt it then?! It’s the end of the Seireitei captain! My zanpakuto is the
strongest earth type there is! Even the Seiremon cannot withstand it!”
   Vacant spun and blocked a punch from Brutus. He managed to stop the push forward, but
he quickly realized that his Shikai wasn’t able to destroy the rock covering Brutus’s fist. “No,
it’s not that I’m not destroying it, it’s just that he’s replacing it at the same rate.” Vacant
disengaged, and shot up towards the man’s face. “Let’s see just how strong the rock around your
eyes is!”
   He shot towards the dark openings, but upon impact, he realized that eye-holes weren’t
all they seemed to be, and his hands smacked against a smooth crystal. “Diamonds?!” Vacant
thought to go for the seams between the gems and the rock, but was swatted off like an
overgrown fly. He burst through several buildings before finally coming to a halt in a warehouse
which promptly collapsed around him. Vacant found himself covered by a goodly amount of
rubble, but started clearing it off with his ability. Meanwhile, Brutus slowly made his way
towards the captain.
   “As the Seiremon advances, the shield it projects will also contract. Eventually the whole
of the Seireitei will be crush.”
   Vacant was nearly clear, but the giant was yet to stop his advance. “If you do that, you’ll
all be killed as well. Haven’t you even thought that far ahead?”
   Finally, Brutus stopped. “We have considered the outcome, but there is no man among us
who does not accept it. The Gotei 13 locked each of us away for being a danger. They stole our
lives long ago!”
   With the last of the rubble cleared away, Vacant casually brought himself to an upright
position. “That’s really too unfortunate. I don’t want to kill you Brutus, but I can’t let the
Seireitei be destroyed either. On my honor as a captain of the Gotei 13!” Vacant stood and threw
his arms out to each side. “BAN-” He snapped them back together, creating an extremely loud
clap that shot a wave of force strong enough to clear the destroyed building from around him and
send Brutus back several feet. “KAI!”
   Blue reishi spiral up around Vacant and grew into a great vortex which tossed even more
rubble into the atmosphere, some of which even disintegrated against the Seiremon Dome. Once
the reishi had dissipated though, Vacant had remained physically unchanged. His cheery
demeanor had vanished, and stood straight with an asserted look on his face. “Miezarute no
Funsai-mura. You’re zanpakuto is truly impressive Brutus. And I approve of your determination.
So, I shall use the whole of my right hand to destroy you.”
   At first Brutus stared on in disbelief, but then began to laugh heartily. He boasted.
“You’ll use your whole right hand?! Don’t think you can take me so lightly Captain! I will wipe
you out with just-!” He was cut short as he realized a great pressure was pushing down on him.
Brutus’s arms shot into the air, where they seemed to come into contact with something solid just
above his head. As they did though, the rock covering them shattered, and turned to dust. He
pulled them back and tried to resist with his shoulder. Here too the rock shattered, and now
Brutus found in horror as he began tearing into his back and hands. Brutus lowered his head as
far as he could, but could not escape pressure, or the destruction of his flesh. “What is this?!
What spell is this!?”
   “It’s not a spell. This is the power of my bankai. Be honored, Brutus of the Red Hollow
Gate! My bankai is not a thing that I take pleasure in, the fact that I use it now is only evidence
of the terribleness of your crime!”
   Brutus screamed something else at him, but it never reached Vacant’s ears. The sound
was drowned out as all of the surrounding buildings were consumed, as if being slowly fed into a
grinder. By the time the event was over, nothing but shaved earth remained for nearly a square
mile. Were some soul to witness the destruction from on high, they would see only a barren
landscape, in the shape of a right hand. Only Vacant remained among the desolation, taking even
breaths of the night air. “I do hope the other captains are faring well.”

   Coryn had been chasing the young Pippin for some time, firing off kido after kido, all the
while feeling the ever constant increase in his own reishi. “It looks like the Seiremon has stopped
advancing. That’s good, but still…” The boy was extremely fast, and had managed to avoid
every attack with ease. Coryn was beginning to feel frustrated, but remained unwilling to kill
what was essentially a child, shinigami or not. “Lego still hasn’t finished off their leader, and
this kid’s power is more than he says. The increase in reishi is getting exponentially greater.
Without the release of bankai, there’s no way a shinigami could withstand an extended fight.”
   “LET ME OUT.” The voice had come from Coryn’s own soul, deep and steady, but he
pushed it back down.
   “Do not get involved in this.”
   Pippin had come to a stop in front of him. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m already deeply
involved.”
   Coryn was about to correct the boy, but caught himself at the last minute. “There’s no
need to let him in on it.”
   He straightened his back, and did what he could to look composed. “Just wishful
thinking. There is no need for this battle Pippin Kogo. Your plan has failed, if you haven’t
noticed. The Seireitei will live to see another morning. Release your Shikai, and I can arrange for
you to be treated fairly.”
   Pippin sighed, but Coryn noted that his expression betrayed sadness. “You don’t get it
Captain. Each of us were prepared to die for our cause. There is no reason to back down now. As
for stopping my shikai, well, I’m afraid I simply don’t know how.”
   “What?!” For the first time in the battle, a small amount of fear had crept into Coryn’s
mind. “How could you not know?”
   Pippin shrugged at him. “It’s just not something I can do. Once a person is cut, I can’t
stop the process. Only after my opponent has overflowed, only then can I return my zanpakuto to
normal.”
   Coryn glanced down at his own sword for a moment, but soon turned his attention back
to the child. “I guess I’m running out of options. Sorry, Pippin Kogo.” He launched himself at
the boy, both arms in the air before him. “Hado 31: Shakkaho! Hado 48: Gaki Rekko!” Red fire
and blast of green energy shot forth in quick succession of each other. And Coryn pressed the
attack further. “Hado 32: Okasen! Modified Hado 4: Jugeki Byakurai! Hado 54: Haien!”
   “DRAW ME.”
   “Stay quiet!”
   Trees burst and the world around them caught fire. The growth of the reishi inside him
was becoming physically uncomfortable, and Coryn pushed harder. “Hado 58: Tenran! Hado 63:
Raikouhou!” His vision was starting to blur, and more and more of his spells flew wide.
   “THIS IS NOT HOW YOU WANT TO DIE.”
   “You aren’t involved in this decision!”
   “CORYN!”
   “No!”
   Coryn’s body felt like it was burning, from the tips of his fingers to the souls of his feet.
Waves of fire shot out from his heart, pulsing throughout his frame. “Hado 73: Soren Sokatsui!
Hado 88: Hiryu Gekizoku Shinten Raiho!” Coryn opened his eyes, only to realize they were
already wide open. The pain had become so severe that he could no longer feel his extremities.
“Hado 91: Senju Koten Taiho!”
   “THIS IS NOT HOW I WANT TO DIE...”
   The blast was massive, entirely off target, and did nothing to stem the tide of reishi within
his body. Coryn felt as if he were floating through nothingness, but soon found his feet touching
down on a hard, smooth surface. With a shock he realized that he could see again, and found
himself in a world that defied all logical explanation. The floor was white marble, and he stood
at the bottom of a massive room. Polished gold fittings and red velvet covered stairs extended
above him. The world was not unlike a grand lobby of some old hotel, extruded to infinitum,
forever rising to an unseen point.
   Coryn turned, and found himself face to face with a figure clad in white standing atop the
landing of a gilded staircase. Tears streamed down the face of the figure, but their eyes never
wavered from the visage of their shinigami. “CORYN…”
   The captain turned away in a futile attempt to hide his own shame. “He’s just a boy.”
   “SO WERE WE.”
   “I…” Coryn caught his own words, but knew they were communicated regardless. The
impossible room faded to black, and Coryn found himself alone. Lowering a hand to his side, he
grasped the hilt of his zanpakuto. “Ban...kai…”

   Lego and Takeshi both shot several feet to the side as the blast wave hit them. In the
distance they watched as pillar of pale reishi shot into the sky, and even tore a hole through the
Seiremon’s projected dome. For a moment their battle ceased, but in only a few seconds the
massive energy had subsided. Lego still stared on with disbelief. “What the hell was that?!” He
turned towards Takeshi for some sort of explanation, but found the older man seemed instead, to
be praying.
   “Goodbye Pippin, I wish you a speedy trip to the next life.” He turned towards Lego as
he finished. “I believe that leaves only you and I. My plan has failed, but I will not be imprisoned
again. You will have to kill me, Kenpachi.”
   Lego smiled at him, the first genuine smile he had expressed for a long time. “You, have
made me happier than I have been in a long time. Did you know that you’re the first one to call
me Kenpachi without a hint of sarcasm? Not even the men in my squad fully believe it.”
   Takeshi was taken aback by the gesture, but quickly relaxed. “After this battle, I believe
you have earned it, at least from me.”
   “Yeah,” Replied Lego, wiping blood from his lip. “You’ve given me a run for my money,
but most importantly.” He displayed his sword. I’m at 95%! Now, give me the battle of my life!”
   Lego rushed him, slashing wildly with his long blade. Takeshi replied in kind, and they
continued to trade blows all across Execution Hill. To Lego it felt as if neither were even pausing
to touch the ground, to him it was ecstasy, and he took note of every centimeter the glowing line
on his sword grew.
   “Now’s the time, Takeshi Arihyoshi!”
   Takeshi beamed at him. “Very well, Lego Kenpachi!”
   Lego jumped back into the air and roared animalistically, expunging his golden reishi to
the heavens. “BANKAI!”
   Below him, Execution Hill cracked, and while it remained upright, half of the great rock
dropped by several feet. Well above Lego few down onto Takeshi. His already extended
zanpakuto had grown even longer. Its guard and hilt had disappeared, leaving him only grasping
it by the tang. Coating Lego’s arms were metal gauntlets not unlike Takeshi’s, but neither
shinigami had time to ponder this fact. “Kaimetsu-tekina Mangekyo no Raiouoni!” Lego raised
the blade above his head for the final strike. “Akaraiouoni!”
   The top of Execution Hill turned from rock to fine sand, and from sand into glass. A
massive wave of lighting shot forth across the Seireitei, eventually smashing into the Seiremon
before finally dissipating. Lego found himself standing alone, bathed in the heat and light of the
semi-molten hilltop. Takeshi was gone, and once again Lego felt alone.
   “Now you know, why I am called ‘Kenpachi’.”

Spoiler
CHAPTER 8

Once again the captains of the Gotei 13 found themselves assembled before the Captain
Commander. In the days after the battle they had all submitted their reports on what would be
come to known as the ‘Night of Maggot’s Dance’.
   In the end, nearly one-hundred shinigami had lost their lives. The overall number of
casualties was much higher, though much lower than anticipated. Captain Sherbet made a motion
to increase funding for medical supplies, and Captain Manimal had suggested the shut-down of
the Maggot’s Nest program, in favor of less drastic, and more effective measures. Both motions
passed, however Captain Noisey’s request for a parade in Lieutenant’s Mahlua honor was
denied. Both because of the expense in doing so was un-warranted, and because it was agreed
that he was biased towards his own Lieutenant, so another Captain would have to make the
motion for it to even be considered.
   Third Squad was deemed to be responsible for the destruction of Captain Vacant’s
bankai, and that their funds would be garnished as necessary to repair the damage to 8th Squad’s
barracks. Captain Coryn had issued an apology as well to the Shinigami Academy, however the
younger captains present were unsure as to why. Captain Lego was included in this number, but
was more concerned with how the others were still refusing to refer to him as ‘Kenpachi’.
Although, he did take note that the purple cloth binding Coryn’s zanpakuto looked to be in better
condition than before, but he quickly dismissed it. Still, he was pleased when the Captain
Commander declared that he may once again participate in combat. Less pleased however, when
he was given a clear reminder, that zanpakuto release was allowed only with special permission
from the Commander himself.
   After several more hours of reports and discussion, the captains were at last released.
Each made their way back to their respective barracks. Some were still reliving the battle in their
minds, fondly remembering the fight. Some thought back on their actions with regret, others still
were simply exhausted, and looking forward to a quiet evening. They were united under one
emotion however: Pride. They had done their duty, and protected the Soul Society. For this was
the one truth that united all shinigami, and each took comfort in it.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on August 30, 2016, 09:20:07 AM
Well y'all, thank you for participating! I winner has been chosen and will be announced on the (hopefully next) Happy Hour!

We of course will also post the results here. So stay tuned!
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on September 08, 2016, 10:50:38 PM
Well then, the episode has been up an appropriately long time, so no spoilers to say it here now.

Congratulations Forlorn Serpent! You have won yourself a 'new' copy of Zombie Powder Volume 1!

*Confetti*

What I will need from you, is a name and mailing address. Strictly speaking, it doesn't have to be your own, if you're adverse to giving it out. I do of course promise that I will be the only one to ever see it, and that I will discard the information once I am done with it. Either way, I do need somewhere to ship it to. Please PM me your info/ any questions you may have.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Forlorn Serpent on September 08, 2016, 11:53:03 PM
Wow. I didn't even think I would win.  :blush: I'll pm my deats.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: legomaestro on February 26, 2017, 02:32:04 PM
Review for The Captain's Dilemma

Chapter 1

1. “What are you bastards just standing around for? Let’s get this meeting in gear!” He
shouted while assuming his position.
- Hahaha I can't believe I'm a Kenpachi.


2. His only response was a dignified silence from the other captains, and the banging of the Captain Commander’s hilt against the wooden floor.
- Actions described simultaneously tend to bleed off their impact. I could say I did a backflip off a cliff while taking a selfie and whooping in joy or: He did a backflip and took a selfie.  "WHOOO" He screamed.
Not sure if that makes sense. In this case you could jump directly to The Captain Commander's Reprimand.
e.g The Captain Commander slammed the hilt of his sword against the wooden floor, "That's quite enough from you! 11th Squad Captain!"


3.  “As you are all aware, ten days ago we received a report from West Rukongai of
disappearances taking place in the outer districts. The Lieutenant of the 10th Squad, along with
a contingent of Shinigami, were sent to investigate, but have since stopped reporting in. That was two days ago. Subsequently, the reports have only intensified in number and scale.”

- It's no big sin to say 'As you are aware' But there are other ways to have this done. You could say 'On the matter of the dissapearances in the outer districts..." And then explain as a narrator what he was on about.

- 'Subsequently, the reports have only intensified feels like a mouth full. Might be better to just cut out 'Subsequently' and just say 'The dissapearances have only increased' or 'The situation has only worsened: More dissapearances have been reported''


4.   He paused for a moment to let the captains process this information.
- You might be better served by a couple of reactions from the captains. Reading an LN, it seems actually useful to make random unattributed quotes from certain captains if they had anything to say, leaving the reader to guess who said what. In any case, it works as a nice basic sample of the audience. This can even work in scenes where thousands of humans are experiencing some epic event. Giving off three to five random shouts from the crowd doesn't represent everyone, but lets the reader have a feel for what's happening, or what mood the narrator wants to convey.


5. “It was also asked that the Spiritual Wave Measurement Lab be on the lookout for any
strange readings from the area, however they are yet to detect anything unusual.”
- consider 'The Spiritual Wave Measurement Lab, however, have not detected anything unusual'. It's assumed, just like the FBI would investigate a federal crime, that the SWM investigate such an occurence, so skip over the asking bit to cut down on words.


6. ‘Kenpachi’ scoffed across the aisle at the 12th Squad’s captain. Their stature was nearly
equal, however the pale skinned man showed little response to the action beneath his flowing
blond hair.

- It's not law, but it's useful to keep an eye out for adverbs when you can. Get rid of them and aim for sentences that are more direct in describing a situation. He ate his burger quickly sounds weeker than - 'His burger vanished in four bites.' The automatic requirement to find a creative way to describe a situation without an adverb makes your writing that much more full of life. So focus on killing the adverb, and your need to fill that hole will automatica...lly improve the writing.

It's just a tip,  not a rule, as you can see haha

- Also I see Coryn-Taichou!

7.“Come on lads, no need to get like this already, we haven’t even set
out yet. Save the fighting for the bad guys!”
- It seems ridiculously fitting to have MR members as captains. We have quite the mix of quirks that makes the voices seem all the more real haha. Would love to see this animated.

8. “My name’s no’ Martin! And for the las’ time: I’ was healing
drought, not “left out rubbin’ alcohol”, as I recall you puttin’ it.”
- The Scottsman is a healer hahahaha.

9. “If that wannabe Kenpachi doesn’t fix his ways soon, we may be in for a much bigger
crisis than a few missing Shinigami.”
- Haha for some reason I thought the Captain Commander was Kyoraku still hahahaha.


Chapter 2

1. Where the residents they had passed earlier were still going about life as normal, the souls they found in each subsequent district was quieter, timid, and by the time they reached District 76, entirely absent all together.
* were  more quiet, timid

2. At once sensing what his action would be, the two captains called out at Lego together, but to little avail. The battle hungry captain was already running at full speed towards their unknown enemy.

- It would've been better to have them shouting and/or cursing at him already heading towards the enemy. Or Lego making some sort of exclamation.

- Plenty of adverbs this chapter that could be turned into something else, so focus on getting rid of as many of those. Otherwise it flowed well enough.


Chapter 3

1. After a short sprint down the road, Lego arrived at the base of a mountain path. The way forward quickly disappeared among the winding rock passage, and he studied it for just long enough that his fellow captains arrived behind him.
- From the earlier chapter I didn't get a good geographical sense that the enemy was so far off. Perhaps more description on the scale of the mountains?


2. “Oh you know, we just went out for a cheeky little walk, and what do you know? We find you here in a spot of trouble!”

- Does Cheeky walk exist? 

- I had no indicator that a Lieutenant was still out there. Did she go alone? Because the number of captains was still 12 I didn't think any hard hitters were sent out just yet.


3. “Inside. There are two left, which I believe were the leaders. They’re hold up tight inside the temple somewhere.”
- If they were fighting for four days did they set up camp somewhere or was it a back to back battle? Were they fighting in the midst of the mountains with occasional clashes, eventually leading to the temple? Unless she's decieving the Captains, I can't imagine a situation that required this amount of time and yet looks like thiss.


4. Lego grunted in reply, but pulled out a small vile and tossed it to Mahlua.
- Vail

5. “Caring for the wounded. That’s lesson number 1. Now then.”
- In battle, you win or you die!


Chapter 4
1. Above them they noted an elevated walkway carved into the stone, and most importantly, the two men standing on top of it.
*They noted an elevated walkway carved in to stone, and more importantly, the two men standing on top of it.
-  They wore white robes like the body outside, but instead of basic swords, wielded
something altogether different.

2. “Those are asauchi! Where did they even get a pair?” Exclaimed Vacant.
* consider "Those are Asauchi!" Vacant exclaimed, "Where did they even get a pair?"

3.  After a short jog, Vacant found himself in an open cavern.
- For me jogging always implied a casual non-urgent sort of running. One does not jog on the field of battle, but run through it. Just my opinion though.

4.
Pale streams of light came in from holes in the roof above them, but to his surprise, Vacant found his opponent had come to a halt, and was facing him head on.
* Pale rays of light streamed in from the holes in the roof above them. To his surprise, Vacant found his opponent had come to a halt, and was facing him head on.

- I'm not even sure the lighting is relevant at the moment, because we were interested in where his opponent was. A paragraph after the light description, and if you have to use 'but' then at least show Vacant expecting his quarry to be long gone, otherwise there is no contradiction... Er if that makes sense.

5.  “Well…” Cooed Vacant, “This just got a lot more interesting.”
- Does this mean the guy has Bankai if he released his sword without a command?

6.  “That’s really impressive friend! But you should really let your opponent introduce
themselves before attacking! It’s just good manners.”
- Troll Vacant is trolling.

7. “Good bout friend. Sorry there won’t be a rematch.”
- That is a horrifying zanpakutou.

- In terms of Bleach fights, mythology and the real world are rarely referred to to describe abilities. Flashbacks yes, interesting philosophies - My favourite being Rose's Artistry - yes, but never a relationship to some myth. Unless the myth is in the Bleachverse itself. In this way, Kubo made the abilities of the Captains both an ideological challenge to the opponent and a chance to reveal their motivations and the like. Vacant seemed pretty calm and sarcastic, so it'd be interesting to hear something else than a comparision to King Midas. Ah yes, Unohana's Bankai release was also closely related to her in all ways - She learnt how to heal because it was both destructive, and she wanted to be able to fight longer.


8. “A world without Shinigami? That is not a world I wish to see.”
- Between him hiding his blade and this comment, this fight stood out more in terms of feeling like a Bleach fight. Great action too.


Chapter 5
1. “I suppose you heard everything Milk?”
- Milk hahaha

2.    Lego roared at the sky, but stepped forward anyway. “Fine then! I’ve always wanted to
visit Hueco Mundo anyway! You bastards better not fall behind now! Milk, if you slow us down,
I won’t hesitate to make Vacant carry you. Let’s go!”
- Ikuzo!!!



Chapter 6

1. “The Seiremon is already closed. If this attack came from the outside, the damage wouldn’t have been nearly this bad.”
- Man, I forgot about the Seiremon, and how epic it was to break into Soul Society.  Good times. Good times.

2. Vacant smirked at the 2nd Squad member. “I’ll never figure out how that guy happens to
know exactly when people become available. First though, we have a Lieutenant here who could use some medical attention.”
- Oh? Whos is this epic 2nd Squad Captain haha.

3. Instead of a zanpakuto, he carried an electric guitar that he had somehow smuggled from the world of the living on his back at all times.
- Manimal looks freaking epic.

4. Manimal shrugged. “Yeah I guess so…Looks like some of the prisoners in the Nest
hatched some sort of plan to break out and stuff. I didn’t read the report but I guess they’re out
now?”
- Haha sounds just like him.


Chapter 7
1. “You’re zanpakuto, it’s already released?”
* your

2.
   “Exactly!” Exclaimed the boy. “I knew you would figure it out! Of course, the power
increases aren’t going to stop, so you’ll just have to keep hemorrhaging power until I release
you, or you reach your breaking point.”
- Nice creative power and dialogue here.

3.  Vacant found himself covered by a goodly amount of rubble, but started clearing it off with his ability.
* ungodly amount of rubble

4. “Miezarute no Funsai-mura. You’re zanpakuto is truly impressive Brutus. And I approve of your determination. So, I shall use the whole of my right hand to destroy you.”
* your zanpakuto

5. “I do hope the other captains are faring well.”
- That is a terrifying bankai

6.  “Now you know, why I am called ‘Kenpachi’.”
- All the bankai's were terrifying.

- I'm wondering why Coryn made the vow though.



Chapter 8

1. Once again the captains of the Gotei 13 found themselves assembled before the Captain
Commander. In the days after the battle they had all submitted their reports on what would be
come to known as the ‘Night of Maggot’s Dance’.
- Interesting title, I wish the whole fan fic was named that.

2. Haha I imagine No1sey being like Isshin in his pride hahahaha.

3.  Third Squad was deemed to be responsible for the destruction of Captain Vacant’s
bankai, and that their funds would be garnished as necessary to repair the damage to 8th Squad’s barracks.
* caused by Captain Vacant's bankai

4. They were united under one emotion however: Pride. They had done their duty, and protected the Soul Society. For this was the one truth that united all shinigami, and each took comfort in it.

- Nice ending there.


General Thoughts

So, earlier on this than I intended, but I did what I could and took my time to read it. The action scenes do hold up despite you saying you've lost your touch. The main thing I'd say is adverbs are killing the vibe for a lot of descriptions. Simultaneous actions also make epic scenes or certain actions less important, and unless the character has long dialogue, there seems to be some iffy formatting. But in the end I'm nit-picking on stuff like these.
When it comes to your writing, I feel like it fits the genre and niche. Reading light novels, I know how fast paced they are to be read, and even seeing YAF I know that you can still enjoy prose like that.

If your aim is heavier, richer prose though 'like a real novel' although I loathe such a term, then sure, things will need to be different. You'll need to be willing to inject a narrative spin to your stories. Something like what you had here at the ending with the pride uniting the captains, and the emotional struggle Coryn had with releasing his bankai, but a bit more than that.

For one, you should read novels that just go off the reservation and are hilarious. Consider Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. You know that sort of wacky humour. There is actually some really good writing in that sort of humour.

Otherwise get your hands on any book  by Haruki Murakami and read it. I don't care how long it gathers dust on your shelf or how long it takes, but that's a writer that understands that deep narrative voice that takes you away and feels only like someone who is interested in relating a story, rather than trying to fit a niche of the anime manga or light novel world.

In the end, mileage is all that works, and what better way to get mileage than through fan fiction? Universe stories too are always a thing, but there's simply no way to develop a narrative voice without reading some new material, without writing some new material.

Don't underestimate poetry as well. You can be as public or private of such a thing as you want, but poetry with its rhyming and use of imagery is a great way to expand the mind when it comes to these sorts of things.
If you're more into a dryer, direct sort of writin gthen look into some hard sci fi authors like Greg Bear, Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke. Short story collections by any of these sorts of authors are a god-send when it comes to learning how to narrate a story. They have very ambigious shady characters that are more observers than living human beings, but they relate interesting concepts and can really grip you. Plus they're a faster read.

That's really all I can stretch out in the way of advice and critique. I don't know how helfpul it is, but it was a fun read nevertheless. Keep writing.

P.S

I wasn't sure but I dug through the old Bleach topic where we mentioned what our Zanpaktous were and found my abilities were exactly as described. Awesomesauce!!!! Thanks man!
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on February 26, 2017, 05:09:00 PM
*scratches furiously at head* adverbs adverbs adverbs. I swear they're my worst habit. I need to dig up that old website that points them out to you.

Thanks for digging into it Lego. Hopefully the next chapter I release will be a little more up to snuff.

And yeah, it took some digging, but I found that old topic alright.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: legomaestro on February 26, 2017, 05:14:22 PM
Ask and you shall recieve. Though it seems to have become mad and requires you to jump some paragraphs to let the top-most text show

http://www.hemingwayapp.com/

Yeah they kill me too to be honest, and they're not the word of gawd as far as it comes to fixing things, but it does make sense when you think about it.

There's going to be more releases on the Bleach Fanfic verse? Huh. Why the heck not. Might as well do it for some other manga too. I'd love to see what hijinks we'd be up to in the ninja world. And Hasith would definitely feel at home there.

(Guh. Adverb alert.)


Necromancy. It makes forums go round.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on February 26, 2017, 08:32:30 PM
Maybe man. Would love to get back to this little fan fic verse sometime. I'll put it in the back pocket for when I feel a little burned out on CS.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coach Fro on February 04, 2018, 07:53:59 PM
Man reading your fanfic Coryn (and the other members's fanfics too of course) really brought back a lot of nostalgic memories of watching Bleach during my younger years. It really makes me miss the old bleach, before all of the filler arcs and whatnot.

I wished we would've got to see Coryn's Bankai in action, but I'm cool with how his fight turned out. Speaking of fights, a lot of these fights were well written and really captured the essence of what a Bleach fight looks and feels like. And I have to say, Vacant's zanpaktou is definitely something nasty. Scary almost.

Great work like usual Coryn! Or should I say Captain Sken of the Gotei 13? ;)

Side Note:
Spoiler
Why did you ditch the "Sken" in your name? I've been wondering that for the longest now.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on February 04, 2018, 08:17:33 PM
Mainly, because new people would join and always address me as "Coryn Sken" until I corrected them, and that started wearing thin at some point. Plus it's just quicker to pick up.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: MahluaandMilk on March 07, 2018, 04:28:57 PM
Oh, man. Why didn't I know this was a thing? As the resident reincarnation of Soi Fon, I must...actually finish watching Bleach because I'm horrible with continuity and don't want to mess up my ideas about canon in a fanfic.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on March 07, 2018, 10:36:39 PM
Good luck on that. Where did you even leave off?
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: MahluaandMilk on March 08, 2018, 01:06:38 PM
Right after the Bount arc. Somewhere in the 80s or 90s range episode number.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on March 08, 2018, 01:50:39 PM
Oh good god, that's way early. I reiterate my "good luck" in that case.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coach Fro on March 08, 2018, 08:23:29 PM
The bount arc was so trash. If I had known what "Filler" was in anime when I was a kid, I would've skipped that arc entirely.

I re-watched the Ichigo vs Byakuya fight some weeks back. Real good stuff man. Really miss the early days of Bleach. Everything just felt so fun and exciting.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: MahluaandMilk on March 08, 2018, 09:22:03 PM
Hey, man, I actually liked the Bount arc. I know it's an unpopular opinion, but I can't help it.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on March 08, 2018, 10:12:47 PM
Yeah the Bount Arc had it's moments. Even if it was just campy vampire nonsense for the most part.
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: MahluaandMilk on March 09, 2018, 05:21:01 PM
Even if it was just campy vampire nonsense for the most part.

Don't tell me in the two months of my absence you've completely forgotten who I am...
Title: Re: MR Happy Hour Bleach FanFiction Episode!
Post by: Coryn on March 09, 2018, 11:03:36 PM
I haven't. That is what we in the business call a "subtle dig"