Manga Writers => Manga Creations => Discussions => Topic started by: MahluaandMilk on July 18, 2016, 09:51:52 PM


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Title: Ginger & Bergamot [DISCUSSION]
Post by: MahluaandMilk on July 18, 2016, 09:51:52 PM
Yes, I know it's technically a fanfic, (link to said titular fanfiction here) (,16605) but it was written with the intention of focusing a bit on a few things I feel that I need to expand on as a writer to improve. Just like doing gesture drawings and studying form and perspective from books by drawing them yourself, I, as we are well aware due to the Fanfiction? What Is It Good For? thread, find that fanfiction is an excellent way to expand on these little fundamentals of writing. Now, I'm opening myself up to any review style you feel will help me. Feel free to give me as little or as much feedback as possible, with only one exception.

Do not try to push the idea down simply because it is a fanfiction. That is my choice, and you don't have to like or appreciate it by any stretch, but do not try to fault me for it on a thread meant for constructive criticism. It is one method among many.

With that out of the way, things I am looking for in feedback pertain to these in particular:
>Pacing (Are things moving too quickly? Too slowly? What can I do to help this?)
>Pronoun/Name/other noun usage (I find it awkward to constantly use the character's name, so I tend to use certain descriptive factors as well as pronouns to discern, although while writing I feel like it comes out as more repetitive than it may be.)
>Setting and other descriptions (Am I setting the scene well? Am I giving too much detail, too little? What could be added/subtracted?)
>Grammar/Syntax and anything else you find.

I'd greatly appreciate the constructive criticism. I just hope that there are enough AA fans around here to know the characters and help me out in that regard. While on the subject of that, I'm gonna give a little shoutout and thank you to a friend of mine I call my sis, although she doesn't have an account on this site. She is known as InfamousHarlequin ( Archive Of Our Own (AO3), and y'all should totes spam her with kudos and comments and stuff if you're interested. She's helped a lot in making sure my characterization did well, as well as helped fine-tune a lot of my plot skeleton.