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Manga Writers => Develop Your Story => Topic started by: GingerStark on January 01, 2015, 01:02:42 PM


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Title: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on January 01, 2015, 01:02:42 PM
Hello friends! Normally I don’t use the development story section much but I sure could do with some help here with some of my works. This one is called Reapers, a dystopia/crime. I need some help with the plot  :hmm:

Some art I had for the story- Credit to MockinBird
Spoiler
(http://i1350.photobucket.com/albums/p773/tofsgraphics/ex4.png)

Here’s what I got so far...
Spoiler
Summary: In the not so distant future as the world falls into decline from pollution and overpopulation, social unrest reaches new levels and organised crime expands to take advantage of that. No more can the government be kind or understanding; thus the death penalty was reintroduced and the creation of the Reapers division, specially selected police officers with the legal ability to execute criminals on the spot.

However, the most recent addition to the division, Athena Streiss, is looking to make some changes to the Reapers public image. Haunted by her father’s unlawful execution, she wants to turn the Reapers into a more citizen-friendly service rather than a tool for fear. In such a bleak world however, is such an ideal even possible?

Spoiler
Setting: Welcome to South England where the year is 2070 and the world as we know it now has changed;

-Having recovered from a third world war and discovering a large oilfield off the Scottish Coast, the UK is powerful economic force in the world and a hot spot for business. Its technology is among the best and is currently running a surplus in budget.

-However, pollution is worse than ever. Most water sources are polluted, the countryside is beyond repair and the air is thick with dirt and smoke. Smog clouds are common and require citizens without protective clothing to remain inside or suffer severe health defects.

-The third world war saw unemployment eradicated... but with the war gone, it rose to high levels. Along with refugees and immigration from devastated countries, ghettos have sprung up and are a hotbed for crime.

-Pressure groups have resorted to extreme violence in protest to the government. This includes Eco-terrorists, human right protests and religious groups condemning new technology.


Spoiler
Plot: This is under-developed but so far I have the story focusing on the members of the Reaper’s Division through the eyes of newbie Athena Streiss and they’re dealing with current social issues, especially the most important one; the use of the death penalty.

For a first chapter, it’s mostly an introduction of the characters and the world they are in. Not so much focusing on a main story yet, but being more character driven; Athena’s father was a commander during the Third World War but executed by the government for undisclosed crimes. Athena felt that the entire system was unfair and joined the Reapers (After coming out top in her graduation in the police) in order to show that things can be done differently.

However, on her first job her team was tasked with protecting the opening of an oxygen-recycling plant which is threatened with destruction from an eco-terrorist organisation known as Gaia’s Knights. The terrorists attack but in a struggle with one, Athena accidentally kills the man despite him surrendering.
Now Athena is left conflicted over her views, whilst the team investigate Gaia’s Knights to prevent further attacks.

So that’s what I got so far. I do have several characters written out but they’d be a bit lengthy to describe at the moment. If anyone can help me with what I have so far, I’d be most grateful :D
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: liuxess on January 01, 2015, 01:48:25 PM
This seems pretty interesting,  and it should get to the reader's because I believe that every person had a immoral thought about bringing back death penalty
Se points I can give out from what you gave:
~Since a world war III occured,  you need to think about all high-tech weapons. Not scifi weapons but still much more advanced than ours,  cuz with the technology we have,  weapon upgrades during a war would boost ten times. So maybe war machines like from ironman would be possible in your story

~Will you base WWIII on the conflict between Russia amd the rest of the world,  especially Europe and USA?

~You should have the mc have a rival within the reapers- a guy or a girl that enjoy killing,  and that being the reason they joined the reapers
~What does church say about the death penalty? There could be a group of people within the church who are exterminating the reapers as aprotest against the death penalty.

~If you make a guy who kills for fun and the group within the Church,  the guy could defend the mc from the groupand inspire some romance.

That's all I have for now,  I'll try to make some more advices in the future
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on January 01, 2015, 02:08:58 PM
Thank you for your feedback liuxess :D

I do hope to serve the Death Penalty as an interesting topic of debate among readers, which should engage them more into the story  :hmm:
World War three would bring about technological advancement and a change in global politics, which will require a great deal of thought when possible  :-\

WWIII however will take place primarily in South America (Especially the Falkland Islands) and Europe (Which is fighting a civil war amongst itself)

A rival sounds like a good idea, I'll see if I can allocate that to any of the existing cast  :thumbsup: I wasn't going to focus much on religion in the story, but the Church is still something to consider.

Thanks for your suggestions, they have given me food for thought :D
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Aozora on January 02, 2015, 12:53:31 AM
I admire your efforts to create a story around a controversial topic as the death penalty. However, this will be a difficult endeavor in terms of originality. I believe several manga/comics have been made about the death penalty and executions in general, the most notable being Sukedachi 9 which was released recently. Sukedachi 9 has some striking similarities to your story, including a special group that carries out executions and a backdrop characterized by increased crime and violence. That is why with stories like this it is difficult to create a truly original and authentic story. But I'm sure with some subtle changes and alterations you will accomplish the task.

As for your plot, I think it is decent and interesting. There's not much that I can say at this point but once more has been revealed I can offer more feedback. The main thing I would really focus on though is showing how Athena becomes inspired to join the Reapers and reform the system. Because one would think that if someone's father was killed, that person would retaliate and try to abolish or eliminate the system that was responsible for his/her father's death. And so that is why you wanna show how Athena decided to tread a noble path rather than one of darkness. 
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on January 02, 2015, 07:17:16 AM
Hmmm, I didn't know it was a popular topic  :hmm: I just thought the Judge Dredd series was the only one. I guess that gives more motivation to try harder to be more original  :dance:

I guess it depends on what I have planned for an ending too though. Do I want Athena to accomplish her goal or realise that this time period requires a less humane approach? I suppose that means the plot needs some more thought since that's what is affecting the main character the most.
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: NO1SY on January 02, 2015, 10:43:53 AM
Hmmm so sounds to me like Psycho Pass a bit... Newbie coming in with different and naive views on how things could be done in a more moral way, and while she is right the rest of the world doesn't exactly fall in line. She also finds herself having to toughen up and accept some of the horrors when they happen before she can make a change and change people's minds.

Personally I prefer stories where the main character ends up in a setting that conflicts with their morals by no will of their own, because that promotes a scenario where the main character is changed by the world and develops as a result. Here you have the opportunity to have your world change as a result of your character but you have to avoid it feeling corny and scripted, which I think you are capable of. But again I'd rather see the MC develop than the world change.

Absolutely love the background and the setting and most of all the concept of the Reapers. People charged with maintaining order through executions - fantastic! It all sound wonderfully industrial, totalitarian and dire and I love it. Reminds me of the film "Equilibrium" :)

Your plot makes the reapers sound like a security squad though... Maybe try to shroud them in some mystery, play with imagery and make them a bit more ruthless than military? I like that they could inspire and have to quell rebellions and make anti-moral choices like executing the chold thieves that would starve if they didn't take that small rashion from that person that has two. It would work really well to make sure that readers know that the reapers are not good people but all in all good people are in short supply anyway.

I feel your weakest link is your MC and how she makes the story seem like a typical 'breaking the mold' type thing.
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on January 02, 2015, 11:06:56 AM
I just started watching Psycho Pass actually to inspire me :D But Judge Dredd was more my base, especially with the English setting

I was planning on going down the line where she is being changed rather than she makes the change. But then just as she's getting in the swing of things, a new government is elected and they try to abolish the death penalty, which starts causing trouble for the job.

Agreed though, the background and setting is what stands out the most I think :D Now I just need something good to go along with it...
Morality was one of my themes, and about how it might not even exist? The male protagonist Nicholas believes there is no such thing as good or bad, just stability; hence why he might be more comfortable with killing a criminal. Each Reaper has their own way about it, so to say.
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Vacant on January 02, 2015, 01:27:37 PM
Yeah, was going to say, it conjured up images akin to Psycho Pass to me. However, I think what would make a key difference is why they captured/killed people based on their mental state, this was primarily decided by their tech.
In your story, these would be judgement calls on the crimes committed by actual people, which would leave to some interesting conflicts of opinions.

I think that would come into play when deciding on what actually warranted the death penalty, some being more lenient than others and so on. The setting seems good for this kind of story, a near future dystopia of sorts.

I'm guessing theme wise its going to be Dark, Gritty, political, questioning morality and ethics...sounds right up your street :P

How big is the cast you're envisioning for it? Is it a small group the MC works with? Or do the people she goes about her business with change frequently?

Sounds like an interesting Idea though, I do enjoy this sort of theme  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on January 02, 2015, 06:11:49 PM
Indeed! Sometimes it's obvious, such as armed robbery or hostages. But when it's something like an unproved murderer running away from them, what do you do?

I did some research in England, surprisingly more people are in favour of it being reinstated than opposed. Of course the EU Human Rights forbid this at the moment. However, if the future was different such as England drifting away from the EU and more like the US, change could happen as well as public pressure if people fail to see justice being delivered to extreme criminals (And overpopulated prisons too).

It'll be dark and gritty of course, though you can some comedy and light hearted moments from the cast when they interact with each other.
I had some core characters envisioned from the start including;
-An elderly American who is looking forward to retirement. He provides historical context sometimes "Back in my day we did this..." and ect.
-An aloof war veteran who lost his individuality during service. He acts as the male protagonist and doesn't see things in a morality view.
-Their leader, a former lawyer who often directs the squad and helps maintain their public image, despite the stress it brings her.
I have others too but they're more drafts rather than tied heavily into the story line. I'll need help with them.

I'm glad you enjoy it so far :D Thanks for the feedback!
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: NO1SY on January 03, 2015, 07:07:07 AM
Wow that research is pretty cool! Did not know that... makes sense though... personally I feel rather impartial so long as trials are then conducted better so that less innocents are convicted.

I look forward to reading some chapter drafts for this :)
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on January 03, 2015, 10:31:34 AM
Hm hm, hmmmm  :hmm: Already creates opinion, see :D

I'll be sure to cook some up as soon as I can
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: MissChurro on January 04, 2015, 04:43:22 PM
Ooooh. This could be a very interesting story indeed! Good job so far! :clapping:
Are you going to post more about the characters soon? I'm interested to see them! :thumbsup:
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on January 05, 2015, 02:53:54 PM
Yes, I will post the characters soon. Got to get the world figured out first though  :hmm: And the main plot  :push:
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on March 10, 2015, 03:27:08 AM
Does anyone know which American state has the least strict gun laws?  :hmm:
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: swearzy on March 10, 2015, 09:12:20 AM
I think it is Arizona, but the progression recently on laws alot of states are removing restrictions.
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on March 10, 2015, 10:59:15 AM
Removing restrictions? As in making guns more accessible?
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: swearzy on March 10, 2015, 01:59:53 PM
Guns are accessible, just the way you are allowed to carry them. Concealed carry permits and stuff like that
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on March 10, 2015, 02:13:08 PM
I see I see  :hmm: Just needed the info because I wanted to split the USA into several factions for the story, and really wanted to have this group of Southern states who make their money off of gun manufacturing and ect. Forget about oil, lead is the new gold for these folks  8)
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: swearzy on March 10, 2015, 02:55:20 PM
Only places that are ridiculous are California, New York, Washing DC and a few more places. But they have higher crime rates than most states with lax laws because criminals with always think twice, "They guy looks like the type to pack heat, damn man forget about it"
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Crackhead Johny on March 10, 2015, 08:09:41 PM
As you are in the UK you know this immeadiatly sounds like Judge Dredd from British comic 2000 AD. Told from Hershey's(?) Anderson's (?) point of view? I do not know the comic that well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rVFi6qkPHE (I am the law).

now lets shred some stuff. I feel mean today so I'm putting on my mean pants, my mean hat, my mean clown nose, and my mean fright wig. Now.. time to be mean.


starting with the name "Reaper Division"
Could you get more cliche? "Death Patrol'? nope. "The Peacemakers" ugg.
Besides, you already know real world spin, the horrible people would get a nice friendly sounding name like Civilian Relations Dept, Loyalty and Patriotism Division,  Citizen Protection Agency. You give them a PR dept approved name and you can maybe get away with disillusioned citizens referring to them as "Reapers", "Reaper Squad" "Reaper Division", "Corpse Makers", "death bringers", "Violent Bob's Murder Patrol",  whatever. 

in 2070.. well oil is projected to run out in ~2040 and it will take 100 years for a substitute to show up so maybe not 2070? 30 years with no oil should have the pollution and population greatly reduced (pollution will spike in the first few years as people burn everything they can for warmth and will then greatly drop as 6 billion dead people quit polluting and the rains begin to clean the pollution out of the air and into the sea and soil)... Not to mention world wars will be impossible.

An oxygen recycling plant.. Umm, why? Because it sounded futuristic and advanced? If you need something to free O2 from sea water you have a dead planet as far as animals are concerned. I assume it is liberating O2 from sea water (not drinking water) and not trying to "recycle" it.

~Since a world war III occured,  you need to think about all high-tech weapons. Not scifi weapons but still much more advanced than ours,  cuz with the technology we have,  weapon upgrades during a war would boost ten times. So maybe war machines like from ironman would be possible in your story
Nope.nope nope.
Our main use of force is about the same as in Vietnam 50 years ago. When WW3 goes down, everything will be about the same. If you want teh US to have replaced its infantry with drones well that is a horror story of a different sort more akin to Screamers? (Peter Weller movie with autonomous killbots). The US spends almost all the military money on the planet. I think the UK is in 2nd place with 1/3 of the US's spending? or was it 1/5? The US gets the cool toys and the other side gets killed. In the future we will have soldiers there simply because robots make lousy heroes (this only happens when bots are cheaper than humans, and/or a corp gets tax payers to demand bots after pushing out sad news stories showing dead US troops).

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~You should have the mc have a rival within the reapers- a guy or a girl that enjoy killing,  and that being the reason they joined the reapers
2 issues:
1. horrifically cliche'
2. While those sort of people will be drawn to the job, the psych tests to keep people like that out of the street judges would be crazy hard to beat and then not getting reported (or executed by a fellow judge) if you beat the test, would also be stupid rough.
3. Rival for rookie.. Yeah. people don't really tend to have rivals in real life very often. Maybe a rival for a position and that is settled once one person gets the position. Generally a rival means competing for something. Seriously, who are your rivals?

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~What does church say about the death penalty? There could be a group of people within the church who are exterminating the reapers as a protest against the death penalty.
1. The church has been gleefully killing guilty and innocent alike for 2 thousand years, they are not turning against the death penalty when it is most popular.
2. In a starving post-ww3 world the mob AKA humanity loves killing those they perceive as guilty, the church always plays to the mob. Why do you think Matthew 6 is never talked about in church?
3. Going after people who can legally kill you is foolish at best and can't be done on a small scale. Full out insurrection would be required.

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~If you make a guy who kills for fun and the group within the Church,  the guy could defend the mc from the group and inspire some romance.
Just no. Please no.
Brannon Braga or Rick Berman might write that but not the rest of us.


Thank you for your feedback liuxess :D

I do hope to serve the Death Penalty as an interesting topic of debate among readers, which should engage them more into the story  :hmm:
World War three would bring about technological advancement and a change in global politics, which will require a great deal of thought when possible  :-\
Street judges will not get much debate about the right and wrong of the death penalty. This has already been demonstrated by Judge Dredd.

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WWIII however will take place primarily in South America (Especially the Falkland Islands) and Europe (Which is fighting a civil war amongst itself)
That is not a WW III. That is a bum fight that most of the world fails to care about after the first week of watching stuff go pop on TV.

Seriously, Europe fights and no one plays the "Lets call America" card? No one plays the "We used to be a BLOC nation and we could use some help, Borris" card? Not even when they are losing?
South America?? what is their motivation? Not enough feathers for Carnival?
The Falklands.. Um, didn't they get taken over by sheep or something in the 80s? Talk about least relevant place on earth.

How we will get WW3 is less pretty than that. People will keep breeding until the oil noticeably begins to run out. As the oil runs out food runs out, can't grow it or move it to cities. Hungry people make bad decisions.
When the oil seems to be running seriously short, the resource wars will begin (well they already have but they will get serious). The US will be big dog claiming all the oil it can. High populace countries of India and China will be desperate for oil (china less so due to currently investing in solar and researching thorium reactors. I believe India is also researching the reactors). Funny thing is most of the fuel claimed during the war will be used to fight the war. In the end most soldiers will not even make it home from wherever they went to go kill for oil. The US as it and everyone else will glass some other countries.
Starvation sets in around the world (cities getting hit the worst) first people start killing their neighbors for their food.. then they start killing their neighbors for food.

This sounds grim but on the bright side, scientists currently say that they should be able to come up with a working substitute for gas 100 years after it runs out (runs out is roughly 2040, I'm not sure if frakking has pushed that much).
So only around 6 billion people will die in the collapse.


Indeed! Sometimes it's obvious, such as armed robbery or hostages. But when it's something like an unproved murderer running away from them, what do you do?

I did some research in England, surprisingly more people are in favor of it being reinstated than opposed. Of course the EU Human Rights forbid this at the moment. However, if the future was different such as England drifting away from the EU and more like the US, change could happen as well as public pressure if people fail to see justice being delivered to extreme criminals (And overpopulated prisons too).

It'll be dark and gritty of course, though you can some comedy and light hearted moments from the cast when they interact with each other.
I had some core characters envisioned from the start including;
-An elderly American who is looking forward to retirement. He provides historical context sometimes "Back in my day we did this..." and ect.
Retire to the UK after WW 3? Not the Bahamas? Not a pacific island either, not even in a cabin near a prime fishing lake in the northern US. That guy must really love rain and boiled food.

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-An aloof war veteran who lost his individuality during service. He acts as the male protagonist and doesn't see things in a morality view.
This person does not exist. I know tons of veterans. none "Lose their personality due to the service". No one ever says "I must have left my personality in my other pants". Now if he got shot in the head in the service, a brain injury could explain that.

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-Their leader, a former lawyer who often directs the squad and helps maintain their public image, despite the stress it brings her.
Why would a lawyer give up years of school and a good paying job to become a street judge?


Does anyone know which American state has the least strict gun laws?  :hmm:
Many states are gun friendly AZ is one of the ones at the most free point. CA and MA are the least free.

Removing restrictions? As in making guns more accessible?
IN almost every state you can go buy one. in some there is a short waiting period on hand guns that can be bypassed by showing you carry permit or permit to buy.

I see I see  :hmm: Just needed the info because I wanted to split the USA into several factions for the story, and really wanted to have this group of Southern states who make their money off of gun manufacturing and ect. Forget about oil, lead is the new gold for these folks  8)
With CNC and 3D printed guns now.. Yeah, states will not be involved in gun manufacture as right now you can make an AR 15 in you house in a short amount of time (google CNC gunsmithing or printable guns).
States will make their money off of what they have always made it.. people via Taxes. A state going directly into business has more problems than you want to think about.
Also keep in mind that when writers split up the US they usually end up with something dumb. TX might one day leave and there are lots of states that America might want to get rid of but no large group wants to leave and quit being "Merikuns!".
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: NO1SY on March 10, 2015, 08:49:42 PM
Dude you should really put some of that in spoiler tags so that it's not such a freakin' huge wall of text...
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Dr.Striker on March 10, 2015, 09:10:20 PM
Whoa! That's a very good review Crackhead Johny!

I think there's more to cover, but I like seeing good effort in reviewing other people's work like this!  :clapping:

Seriously! I agree with everything you said about this! It's been a while since I didn't see somebody post an insightful review such as this! XD

Kudos to you buddy. I'd like to add more but I think this is at least sufficient for now,  great stuff, naturally, should not be neglected at all XD
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Aozora on March 10, 2015, 10:19:29 PM
I completely agree with Striker. I'm impressed by your breadth of knowledge on such a wide variety of topics...

Crackhead Johnny, I'd appreciate it if you could offer your thoughts on my work sometime.
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: swearzy on March 11, 2015, 02:42:26 AM
I wish my brain was smart D: I could never think of something that thorough
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on March 11, 2015, 03:59:42 AM
You know, after what I just read, you should consider changing your name to Steroids Johny because I can see you’ve put a lot of work into this!
Thanks for doing this, I’m aware that as a draft/concept, this has a long way to go and is in need of scrutiny. Furthermore, having spent 2 months away from this, I can agree that this needs a shake up.
Now, my reply to your points… (Apologies for not knowing how to use the quote tool)

Yes, inspired by Judge Dredd, but also Star Wars KOTOR and Raid Redemption. I like Judge Dredd that it’s a clever critique on not only Fascism, but also Thatcherism and Democracy.

I could have said cleaners :hmm: Reapers does work as a good slang insult though. Good suggestion there, though I have also got another group called PeaceKeepers XD

Actually, considering they found tons of oil under Australia (More than the middle east) that can lengthen the delay before the oil crisis. Who knows how much more oil is waiting underneath the earth…
But this is all speculation on our end. It’s very uncertain what’s going to happen with oil and future energy, which makes it all the more better for making up futuristic stories.

Oxygen recycling as in help convert the smog into something more breathable, you can tell I haven’t researched much into that area yet.

Either way, the WWIII won’t happen now. Originally it was going to be part of some fantasy element I was going to write, but that didn’t work out. As far as the background is concerned, it’s mostly empty.

You seemed to have replied to a lot of Liuxess’s feedback? Would you like me to comment on that or is it aimed more at him?

Ah, there can still be debate over death penalty on the spot. Especially if it’s a child with a gun. Also consider that the audience won’t all be in favour of death penalty.

The military does serve to de-individualise people, and if someone has an unbalanced mental state to begin with, it can cause permanent psychological damage which can alter their personality dramatically.

I see I see… I’ll dig into more research with gun law then. I was planning on something such as a military-industrial complex with one of the Southern factions, but it was just an idea to see if it’s workable.
--
Considering all that though, the direction I am going to go with is more like the Judge Dredd movie. Reapers (Name subject to change, ehehe) are there for missions in the urban landscape now, especially clearing out large tower-blocks (as big as those in Judge Dredd). I’ve only been thinking about it for a couple of days, but it feels more focused than the original concept. Either way, still a work in progress, so anything that teases my brain is welcome.

By the way, you should consider joining the Private Reviews thread on manga raiders; it could always do with more people onboard  :thumbsup:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,9013.0.html (http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,9013.0.html)

Thanks again for your time spent on this, it's good to see another perspective added to the mix  :hmm:
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Crackhead Johny on March 11, 2015, 12:19:45 PM
Actually, considering they found tons of oil under Australia (More than the middle east) that can lengthen the delay before the oil crisis. Who knows how much more oil is waiting underneath the earth…
But this is all speculation on our end. It’s very uncertain what’s going to happen with oil and future energy, which makes it all the more better for making up futuristic stories.
Last documentary I saw said that no new fields had been found in the last 30(?) years.
Either way people on the fields (OPEC) are motivated to lie about how much is there because they get to sell according to how much they says they are sitting on. Which in turn means when we run out, it will happen fast, and there will be surprise. If the US was smart they would ban selling our oil to foreign nations and just sit on our stuff until the world's runs out. But that would interfere with this quarter's profits.

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Oxygen recycling as in help convert the smog into something more breathable, you can tell I haven’t researched much into that area yet.
Gas masks filter garbage like smog out of the air. This is why they they are a mainstay of post apocalyptic movies or living in Beijing.

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Either way, the WWIII won’t happen now. Originally it was going to be part of some fantasy element I was going to write, but that didn’t work out. As far as the background is concerned, it’s mostly empty.
If not resource wars.
WW3 is just 1 nuke launch away. It would still have to be a limited exchange or you have no population to write a story about.
Will it be Iran and Israel who start it? If that happens we can get there before the resource wars.
Will it be religious fanatics wiping New York off the planet, with a Romanian garage sale nuke? (Vice's guide to life shows how to go buy one)

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Ah, there can still be debate over death penalty on the spot. Especially if it’s a child with a gun. Also consider that the audience won’t all be in favour of death penalty.
The thing is with Dreed no one debates that. everyone just thinks how cool Dredd is.
The other thing is that when you are over populated and under fed life gets very cheap. people do not even question child with a gun at that point. There are places in this world with child soldiers that demonstrate this. Sure the average person in the US may go "OMG Modern Warfare on the Kony playstation is children!", but locally the kids are just a threat and nothing to be pitied. The outrage is what happens far away in nations that have the privilege of being outraged.
In my own neighborhood a neighbor let me know that the police were searching for some 9 year old neighborhood kid who was going to murder another kid.
People though the gun he had was a toy until he dropped the mag and showed them it was real. Then they called the cops. This kid is already known to be a prolific vandal and thief. Sadly if he died in a shoot out with the cops I'd be fine with it as he will kill people eventually. The media would turn it into an outrage for the page views and advertising money that generates but in the end the shootout would save good people's lives.

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Considering all that though, the direction I am going to go with is more like the Judge Dredd movie. Reapers (Name subject to change, ehehe) are there for missions in the urban landscape now, especially clearing out large tower-blocks (as big as those in Judge Dredd). I’ve only been thinking about it for a couple of days, but it feels more focused than the original concept. Either way, still a work in progress, so anything that teases my brain is welcome.
I would steer away from this. What it sounds like is a fanfic of the movie (please tell me this is not destined to become slash).
What can you do so people will not read you work and say "Oh, you are just ripping off the Dredd movie!"? As Iconic as the comics are and as popular and well liked as the movie was it seems like a bad direction to go to create your own work. Kind of like trying to make Arachnid Man (it is about this nerd who gets bitten by a spider and that gives him super powers). Or to the point, if you paint the Statue of Liberty pink, no one thinks it is a whole new statue and claiming credit for creating it...


If it focuses mostly on clearing the large apartment buildings does this become a procedural drama type thing? It could go more character driven at that point and allow for more examination of the death penalty. It should be noted that the building was just the movie, Dredd deals with all kinds of different things.
I do think primarily clearing buildings would possibly make a fun board or video game (It has been done several times already) but would get boring and repetitive if made into a story.

Another thing, Eco-Terrorists were mentioned. These are a sad cliche' punching bag for bad writers, and have been for a long time.
Eco-T: Hahaha! I will now release my virus which will eat all the fossil fuel on the planet, thus saving the meerkats!
Derek Oil: But if you do that, no one can grow food, and the world will starve, and you will starve with them!
Eco-T: that is where you are wrong, I and my fellow ecoterrorists are cannibals, so we will be fine!
Helpless citizen: Oh god he looks hungry and he has a fork! Run!!!
Derek Oil: Not so fast Eco-T, I shall stop you with the power of clean coal!
/Derek Oil shoots out a huge cloud of black choking smoke, incapacitating Eco-T and killing his rabid meerkat sidekick.

Some corporations who advertise on TV, suggest these as bad guys because the Ecos want to stop things like pollution (yeah, a lot are complete nut bags, but they are a really sad bad guy when it comes to writing). Then other writers see this and copy it.

You are in the UK, you have already talked about the over population, how about fertility warriors as one of the bad guys?
What if the UK says that to be on the dole you and your kids must be sterilized (we will support you, you just can't make more people for us to support)? When your unemployed chavs want to keep breeding like rabbits and getting their check, the shopping riots will be like nothing compared to what they would do if that became law. What if everyone was kept sterile until a birth permit was approved?
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Crackhead Johny on March 11, 2015, 12:30:29 PM
Dude you should really put some of that in spoiler tags so that it's not such a freakin' huge wall of text...
Wall of text attack is my secret technique!
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: swearzy on March 11, 2015, 01:33:59 PM
Dude you should really put some of that in spoiler tags so that it's not such a freakin' huge wall of text...
Wall of text attack is my secret technique!

Ahhh nooo! I... I can't stop my self from getting lost in all this text!  *eyes dry out*
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Crackhead Johny on March 11, 2015, 01:50:13 PM
Dude you should really put some of that in spoiler tags so that it's not such a freakin' huge wall of text...
Wall of text attack is my secret technique!

Ahhh nooo! I... I can't stop my self from getting lost in all this text!  *eyes dry out*
Umm, neither anime, manga, or old kung fu movies really cover what to do once someone knows your secret technique..

Go back to sensei and get a new one? Go hipster and next time say "Wall of text attack is my pretty obscure, you probably haven't heard of it technique! eventually going with "Wall of text attack is my signature technique!"?
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Bazza on March 11, 2015, 02:33:42 PM
Johnny I think u need to chill out a bit, this is a manga/anime forum a hell of a lot of anime/manga is based off of impossible/unrealistic/borderline plagiarised concepts. Maybe it would help if u change ur name to pothead johnny or summin, I've heard that sometimes that kind of thing helps with the whole mean hat stuff :thumbsup:
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Crackhead Johny on March 11, 2015, 02:52:37 PM
Johnny I think u need to chill out a bit, this is a manga/anime forum a hell of a lot of anime/manga is based off of impossible/unrealistic/borderline plagiarised concepts. Maybe it would help if u change ur name to pothead johnny or summin, I've heard that sometimes that kind of thing helps with the whole mean hat stuff :thumbsup:
When anime's golden age was beginning to roll it was funny what anime was "borrowing" from the US. Golgo 13 was james bond, Dog Soldier was Rambo, Lily Cat was aliens/the thing, etc.
This has turned around and Hollywood is looking to borrow from Anime.

The thing here is that people are looking to improve and put out good work. They do not want to end up writing the next Star Trek and endlessly gluing cliche's together with no continuity (well OK, with the paycheck that would bring, many of us would crank out dreck for money).
They want to get to the point that even if there stuff never goes anywhere it is still better than what they see on TV.
We are not looking at how to create a story, we are looking at how to create a good story and then get feed back and improve it.
Starting with someone else's ideas is a bad start but certainly not unworkable. If they are just an inspiration it is easier.
Think of it like cooking and everyone's stories are ingredients. The more well known the story the stronger the flavor of the ingredient. You can sneak some cinnamon into your lasagne but you cannot make it out of 30% cinnamon and have it considered "good".

Now fanfic and slash depend on using someone else's universe and characters, so that doesn't really count.
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: swearzy on March 11, 2015, 02:55:06 PM
Thats the crack talking XD
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: NO1SY on March 11, 2015, 04:00:29 PM
You are in the UK, you have already talked about the over population, how about fertility warriors as one of the bad guys?
What if the UK says that to be on the dole you and your kids must be sterilized (we will support you, you just can't make more people for us to support)? When your unemployed chavs want to keep breeding like rabbits and getting their check, the shopping riots will be like nothing compared to what they would do if that became law. What if everyone was kept sterile until a birth permit was approved?

This was done in the TV show "Utopia"
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: Crackhead Johny on March 12, 2015, 11:48:19 AM
You are in the UK, you have already talked about the over population, how about fertility warriors as one of the bad guys?
What if the UK says that to be on the dole you and your kids must be sterilized (we will support you, you just can't make more people for us to support)? When your unemployed chavs want to keep breeding like rabbits and getting their check, the shopping riots will be like nothing compared to what they would do if that became law. What if everyone was kept sterile until a birth permit was approved?

This was done in the TV show "Utopia"
Was it a good show?
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: GingerStark on March 12, 2015, 01:42:27 PM
A lot seems to happen when you're away for a day  :hmm: Steriods Johny, you seem to be unleashing your spirit animal  ;)
Title: Re: 'Reapers'~~~Story Help
Post by: NO1SY on March 12, 2015, 06:07:17 PM
Was it a good show?

Well my brothers loved it... I only had time to watch a couple of episodes.