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Author Topic: TSUYU  (Read 3468 times)

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Offline Ryuzaki

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TSUYU
« on: December 30, 2013, 05:05:08 AM »
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« Last Edit: February 25, 2015, 07:05:41 PM by Ryuzaki »
Read my current manga: "Tsuyu Society" here!:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,12640.0.html

Read my other manga: "Tsuyu" here!: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,9933.0.html

Offline DXDEVIL13

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2013, 06:54:43 AM »
Nice work dude! Though a lot of your lines are scratchy you have to try to make your lines smoother.

Offline DBNext

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2013, 11:07:35 AM »
The art improvement from chapter to chapter is very significant. This is both a blessing and a curse.
It's great that you're getting better, but you're losing consistency along the way. I suggest, for the future ofcourse, to develop your skills before attempting to do a major project.
Aside from that, I like what I see.
Lines are a mess, and it's hard to see what's going on in some panels, but I'm sure if you give yourself more time, they'll work out.

Offline Manimal

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2013, 12:27:47 AM »
Good work. A few things though. I agree with the above posts that the lines where messy at some points and made it kind of hard to tell what was going on and who was in who in the fight from chapter 1. I thought the framing for all the panels was good, the format was good but...the panels themselves. I'll tell you this I'm a freak about this kind of stuff. I think you should work on making the panels more in line. I can tell you used a ruler for the panels but I think you maybe need to try to work on positioning the ruler better and making sure all the lines connect. The rows of panels didn't all line up and it looks a little off. At least to me because like I said I'm a freak about this.


Offline Lumaria

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2014, 05:18:05 PM »
personally, it was far too rushed. i didn't really grasp any of it. the characters act too brash and suddenly realizes it, but then some action comes in and thats where i'm even more lost.
Stop playing victim....you know what you did.

Offline KagePen

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2014, 06:35:46 PM »
Well done on your hard work. I can see a significant amount of influence from Kubo-sensei's art, this isn't bad though, the more reference you use the more you learn :santa: For my two cents, I suggest for you split your art and story of this manga for now, meaning: Practice your drawing separately and post it in art gallery for others to critique, and do storyboards(rough pencil doodles of proposed manga pages). Just show both to as much people as you can so you can improve.

Offline Ryuzaki

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2014, 11:17:10 AM »
@Everyone: Haha! Thank you!!

@DXDEVIL13: Okay, I'll try to make them smoother.

@DBNext: Lol, I've done quite a bit of manga before so this is just training for me.

@Manimal: Lolol, I'll try to make the panels more cleaner for the future works.

@Lorenx1: haha, yeah, I get that a lot, need to work on the pacing of the story.

@KagePen: Nice, spot-on on the part where Kubo-sensei is my inspiration. His work was the first one I referenced from so there re quite a bit of similarity in style. Hmm, though I don't use references now anymore. (Except when drawing difficult poses, I'll search up the internet for models)
 Splitting art and story for now..haha, no can do, mate.. cannot lose momentum on this one.

UPDATE: 4 more pages added to Chapter 3!!
Read my current manga: "Tsuyu Society" here!:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,12640.0.html

Read my other manga: "Tsuyu" here!: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,9933.0.html

Offline KagePen

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2014, 11:11:12 PM »
Finally read the whole thing and I really like it. But it's going to need a whole lotta' work to get it just righth :smile:

You can ignore what I said earlier about splitting the manga, can't remember why I even said that. Anyway, I have a few questions I'd like to ask you:

1. What is your reason for drawing manga? Is it your dream career?

2. Are you the sole author of this project or are there others collaborating with you?

3. What drives you to work hard?


Offline Ryuzaki

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2014, 07:22:23 AM »
1) Yep, it's my goal to become a mangaka in japan.

2) I'm the sole author of this project. I feature some characters created by friends as well.

3) Lol, this is easy. Because I find the upmost satisfaction in drawing manga. haha.
Read my current manga: "Tsuyu Society" here!:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,12640.0.html

Read my other manga: "Tsuyu" here!: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,9933.0.html

Offline KagePen

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2014, 07:54:41 AM »
I like your determination, maybe one day we'll be rivals ;)

Offline Ryuzaki

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2014, 06:36:27 PM »
Haha, we could be already.
Read my current manga: "Tsuyu Society" here!:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,12640.0.html

Read my other manga: "Tsuyu" here!: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,9933.0.html

Offline Synctual

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2014, 08:34:25 AM »
Ooh a rivalry.  Jk, nice manga you got goin on here, I would love to see more, but your art does need to improve. Although, it did improve from chapter to chapter making me wonder how good you'll be in the future! :thumbsup: The lines are scratchy, but that problem could easily be dealt with.

So far as the story, It all moved quite fast but maybe it's just me. :happy:

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2014, 02:16:26 PM »
I really enjoyed reading this! Nice piece of work, I'll be looking forward to more haha.

Offline Eva

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2014, 09:46:28 PM »
I really liked this! :D And I personally found the art amazing :D (but, as I'm not an artist, I'm floored by people with so much artistic talent.)

My main critique is that it felt really rushed. I had trouble following the beginning where he chased the dog and ran into a girl and that somehow made him a pervert, then she had some personal crisis as she told us her life story. So, I would just work on slowing it down and introducing the story a bit slower :)

Offline Ryuzaki

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Re: TSUYU
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2014, 10:11:50 PM »
@Everyone: Thank you for reading the manga! You guys are awesome!! :D

@SyncG4x: Yep, the lines will be scratchy for now until I switch to a G-pen to draw.

@legomaestro: Glad you enjoyed it

@Eva: Haha, thanks, I'm working on the speed of the story now.

Chapter 3 is updated with more pages!
« Last Edit: February 24, 2014, 09:13:15 AM by Ryuzaki »
Read my current manga: "Tsuyu Society" here!:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,12640.0.html

Read my other manga: "Tsuyu" here!: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,9933.0.html