Whether it was from the cool night breeze that caressed the candle-lit halls or her unabashed words so brazenly spoken before the guests of honor and her own father, her skin pricked like sharp needles. Avelina could only imagine what awaited her in the morning as she walked the empty hallways to her room.
Jarl Erik wasn't one to take insolence so lightly, and he was bound to deliver some act of retribution because of it. She could still hear the voice of her past self drowning inside her head, screaming and crying at her bedroom door as the keys rattled outside. There she would sit for days alone to herself, with no one to talk to, save for Frida, who would spare only a brief time to teach her studies at noon, and Elda, who brought food and cleaned her room every morning and night. If dying from boredom was real, Avelina surely rotted down to the bones. Her scant moments of human contact confined to mundane lessons and bare living essentials. Only the window gazing out to the front gate served as her outlet to the outside world.
Then again, her memory of her mother came once more. The last smile she gave as Avelina watched from afar in her bedroom. It was around that time that her father Erik began to lock Avelina up in her room. She would cause her usual bout of troubles as a little girl, and her father would always send for the servants to lock her up in her bedroom for days until Avelina knew the full extent of her actions. Rebel she would, refusing to answer when called or throwing a fit in her room, tearing up fabric or breaking furniture. Yet that only exacerbated Avelina's punishment and left Elda taking the brunt of Jarl Erik's fury as he shouted obscenities and insult towards the poor old woman, standing in submissive silence.
Aunt Frida always expressed some warmth with Avelina, as brief as their time together was during the lessons. It was lonely for Avelina, who could only spend her days within the four walls crammed inside her room. No friends to speak to or write of. Just a young girl and her imagination. But Avelina's imagination could only go so far when her room was stripped of any playthings to occupy her time with. No dolls or sticks or even books to read. Avelina suspected Frida must have known about her talking to herself, as Frida would every so often ask if Avelina had something to say. She would lie and say no, but if Frida pestered Avelina again, Runa was always the one she would bring up. Who else could it be? All the servants were barred from speaking to her during those times. Avelina dared not admit she had resorted to chatting with herself to keep her sanity. With Runa, they could presume it to be Avelina's grief over her mother instead of a child that's been driven mad in her isolation. No one would take her seriously otherwise, as though she had been possessed by a wicked spirit. With a relieved sigh, Frida would give Avelina a sweet honey treat to gnaw on and expressing herself as someone Avelina could confide in whenever the need arose before continuing their lessons.
Now with Avelina's shieldmaiden training under Eydis, she could frolic about in the world, free to explore as she pleased without worry for Jarl Erik's disapproval. He hadn't brought up the lock and key as he once did for Avelina's transgressions. Not since that fateful day when the clans of Demorea gathered by her side. Yet, Cairlann's arrival gave new reasons for Avelina's fears. The mobs that torched Demorea and attempted to storm Castle Finskalt mere days earlier kept Avelina shut within her chambers. The same people that once fought for her freedom and gave her purpose in life. She was imprisoned once more, yet not by the decree of a single man but by the very people Avelina cherished. She dreaded the sight of her beloved town burning in the night sky, a witness to tragedy beyond her control. If Runa was there, she would have kept everyone in line no matter the circumstances. Her father may be feared, but her mother was loved by all. So much so that the Huskarls, Demorea's greatest warriors, would gladly turn their shields over in her defense over their Jarl Erik. But Runa was no longer there.
Avelina scratched her hair in frustration.
"What are you doing getting yourself worked up?" she muttered. "You said what you wanted, so now you got to live with it. There's no use thinking about it too much."
"Hello?" A soft, high-pitched voice squeaked around the corner.
Avelina had never heard that voice before. She came around the hallway to see a little girl with long silvery-blonde braids standing outside her bedroom door. She was at least a full head shorter than Avelina and a timid one at that: the girl hid her face behind a cream-colored envelope as she stood in place.
"Hello there," Avelina waved, although it was futile of her to do so. The little girl couldn't see it through the parchment held up between them. "What are you doing here? Are you lost?"
"I-I'm... looking for Frey Ava... Avil..."
A silly grin stretched across her face. "Avelina?"
The girl nodded, braided hair bobbing up and down.
"That's me!" Avelina cried out in delight.
The girl dropped the letter down just enough for her sparkling emerald eyes to meet Avelina's but immediately squealed and hid behind the letter again.
"It's alright. I won't bite."
Avelina thought for a moment. The little girl was terribly shy of her for some reason. She certainly was too young to be a thrall in Jarl Erik's service. Perhaps she was one of their children?
"What's your name, little one?"
"M-Mioll," the girl stuttered.
"Like snow?"
She slowly nodded.
Avelina smiled. "It's a beautiful name, quite like your hair. I wish I had hair as bright as yours. Did you do your braids yourself?"
"Mama... did," Mioll answered, with a quiver of hesitation.
"You're blessed to have a mother braid your hair, Mioll. And so well too! Elda does mine," Avelina said, twirling around to show her.
"It's... nice," said Mioll, peeking out over the envelopment.
"Isn't it? But it takes so long to do! And I can't do it myself. I'd love to try something simple, but I'm not sure what style I'd want..." Avelina looked back at Mioll, hiding her flustered face back behind the envelope.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to ramble on like that. An old habit of mine, you see. I hope I'm not bothering you too much."
Mioll shook. "N-n-no, my Frey."
"Avelina. No need to be formal with me. My friends sometimes call me Avie. You can call me that if you like."
"Friends?"
"Yes, friends! We're friends now, right?"
Mioll's eyes wandered, seemingly contemplating Avelina's words as Avelina grinned back with her own starlight eyes. Hesitantly, the girl uttered.
"Yes... friends."
Avelina breathed a welcomed sigh of relief. "I'm so glad. I thought I was coming off a bit too forward there, suddenly asking you to be my friend. I hope I didn't frighten you or anything. You remind me a lot of how I used to be."
"Used to be...?"
Mioll's words caught Avelina off-guard. Only moments ago, Avelina swore she wouldn't think too hard on the past, but now the memories were flooding in again. The locked room, the agonizing wails, the towering shadows... No, Avelina wouldn't trick herself into thinking that again.
Avelina chuckled and instead turned her attention to the envelope. It had the wax seal of a bear's head, the sigil of Clan Signe. "Is that letter for me?"
Mioll bowed her stuck and stuck the envelope out to Avelina, keeping her eyes glued to the floor. Avelina graciously took the letter and petted the girl's little head. Too cute. Too innocent. She didn't need to know too much about Avelina. Not now.
"Thank you, Mioll. If you don't mind my asking, where do you live? I'd love to meet your mother sometime."
"Signeheim," said Mioll. She didn't stutter this time, a sign perhaps the girl was starting to warm up to Avelina. But Signeheim lent Avelina's attention.
"Signeheim? Your mother serves Hauld Halvor?"
Mioll nodded, her eyes glancing off to the side. The letter must be from Grandfather Halvor. It was very unusual for Halvor to send letters. He preferred speaking to people in person instead of picking words on expensive pieces of parchment. Hard to convey feelings in the written tongue, he once said. Yet lately, Halvor hadn't been around much, not since he rallied the clans to force Jarl Erik's oath to the shieldmaidens. In fact, Avelina hadn't seen him for weeks since the riots. What could he have to say now?
"He writes to me instead of coming here himself..." Avelina muttered, somewhat irked by her grandfather's absence as she gazed upon the letter's wax seal. "...if you were here, what would you say to my father?" She looked back to Mioll. "Give my kind regards to your mother and that I've received Hauld Halvor's letter when you get back. Thank you again for bringing this to me."
Mioll parted her mouth, uttering something soft and unintelligible. Avelina couldn't quite make out her words, so she leaned in closer to hear them. Instead, Mioll raised an open palm to Avelina.
"C-Coin... please," she mumbled, her face shimmering bright red.
Avelina paused. It took a few moments for her to comprehend what Mioll had asked for, instinctively reaching for a belt purse she didn't have. She let out a funny chuckle. "I must have left my purse inside. Would you mind waiting here for a bit?"
Like an eager puppy, Mioll bobbed her head in excitement. Avelina had caught the little girl's attention, as now Mioll watched her every move, from the key Avelina ruffled from her pocket to the bedroom door closing between them. Atop the dressing table near the window overlooking the front gate sat her plain leather purse, left there by the thralls earlier that noon. She went over to the table, catching a glimpse of the gatehouse as she passed by. By the time she opened the purse, Avelina had realized she'd seen someone familiar and doubled back to the window.
It was Berengar, waving at her with Brunflek by his side as he stood alongside the unamused gatekeepers with their burning torches in the dark starry night. Her body jumped out in joy at seeing him again after a long tiring day. She wanted very much to open the windows and call out to him, her hands already reaching for the latches, but stopped short of pushing them open. She could see rows of tents pitched side-by-side, filling nearly every inch of the courtyard. Soldiers sat around campfires, brewing stew or cooking skewers and quietly tending to their business as others slept around them. The Great Hall of Finskalt Keep couldn't fit the entire Cairlannder Army at one time, so the troops were catered to one lot at a time. They had already gotten their fill and were merely passing the time at this point.
Berengar raised a finger between his lips, signaling Avelina to keep quiet. Through the window, she reciprocated the gesture, and the two beamed smiles at one another until Berengar raised an open hand towards Avelina and tapped his palm with his other finger. He mouthed something to her, but Avelina couldn't quite figure out what he meant until she mouthed it herself.
"Letter," she muttered.
Yes, it had to be that. Berengar had taught her the guessing game when they first met. One would have a word to act out, and the other would have to guess what it was. Of course, no one could mouth the words. That would be cheating. But Berengar made it easy for Avelina as it was her first time playing it. She never knew about any party games then, or anyone to play with for that matter.
She pulled up the letter Mioll handed her earlier, and with a satisfied grin, Berengar nodded with approval. He waved her off, beckoning Avelina to move along. Mioll was still waiting at the door, and Avelina had yet to deliver her coin. With a tepid smirk, she waved farewell, and with a fist to his chest, Berengar saluted her, ending their mute conversation.
When Avelina returned to the door, Mioll had been humming a soft, soothing lullaby to herself. The little girl panicked and nearly jumped upon hearing the door creak open.
"F-Frey Avel...!"
"Just Avelina," Avelina corrected. "Didn't I tell you earlier we were friends?"
Mioll whimpered. "...sorry."
"No need to apologize! You were just startled. Here, I have something for you. Hold out your hand."
Mioll swallowed and held her delicate hands out in a tiny bowl. With a warm smile, Avelina raised her grip and released it upon the girl's eager palms. Mioll's eyes widened upon seeing two shining pieces of gold in her grasp, her mouth stretched open in awe, barely containing her emotions.
"T-Th-This is..." Mioll tried to utter.
"Gold?" said Avelina. "Yes, it's very pretty, isn't it?"
"This is too much," told Mioll.
Avelina was taken aback. It was the first coherent sentence she had spoken since they met. Not only that, but Mioll was turning down Avelina's gift. It could very well be the first time the little girl had held so much money in her modest hands. A single gold coin was enough to feed a family of four for several months. Many worked their entire lives to only make silver, a fact that bothered Avelina in her trips around town. She never grew up poor, but Avelina could understand the struggle to put food in one's belly or keep oneself warm in winters. Runa always told stories of how she grew up in Signeheim, a time before Erik was Jarl of Demroea, scolding Avelina whenever she refused to clean her plate.
At that moment, Avelina realized just how much it meant to be Jarl Erik's daughter, the daughter of the most powerful man in Demorea. She had servants, guards, a warm bed and baths, good food, the things many could only dream of in their lives. Yet, for a long time, Avelina felt just as powerless as them. But for what? What gave her the right to feel as troubled as they were? Here, Mioll stood fascinated by the two gold coins set upon her hands, and Avelina could only complain about her freedom. What good was it to be free if she was still chained to the realities of life? She didn't know Mioll's situation, and she could only ever imagine why Mioll would want to turn it down. But her imagination was enough for Avelina to picture just how much those two pieces of gold meant to Mioll. Truthfully, Avelina hated to admit to herself. She wouldn't have gone far had she not been the Jarl's daughter, and even if Avelina hated the terrible things her father had said or done, she still needed him.
Avelina wanted to change, yet she never asked herself why. The answer should have been clear: to help her people. But what did that mean to Avelina personally? Seeing Mioll's eyes light up and speak so confidently for a brief moment gave Avelina a mere glimpse of what she wanted. It was still a murky image, but she knew seeing people blooming with smiles brought great joy to her. Yet something was still missing. Was she becoming like her mother?
Avelina cupped Mioll's hands closed and pushed them back.
"Consider it a gift." Avelina winked. "To our newfound friendship. I do want to know how your mother braids your hair, however, so don't think that's for free!"
"Y-Yes, Frey... I-I mean, Avie!" Mioll stuttered with an awkward grin.
She quickly bowed before taking off into the long hallways. Avelina smiled and watched from her bedroom door as the little girl skipped away, humming her sweet little tune, a playful bounce in every step. For someone like Mioll, sweet and pure as she was, Avelina would give it her all to protect. But she needed the strength to do so. It had only been the first day since Avelina returned to training, but she needed to commit to it to see it happen. That meant another night of sneaking under darkness, awaking before the first song. Jarl Erik said he'd have someone accompany Avelina, but he never mentioned who. Regardless, Avelina had no intentions of waiting for that person. Eydis waited for no one. And she still needed to read the letter her grandfather Halvor sent.