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Author Topic: Guru  (Read 805 times)

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Offline Aozora

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Guru
« on: July 16, 2016, 09:07:00 PM »
GURU

Hellooooo everyone. Finally put up some writing after a long, long time. This is meant to be a one-shot/ short-story type of deal but I haven't planned it out yet so we'll have to see how it goes. Main influences for this are Kung Fu Panda, Kung Fu Hustle, and my own spiritual/religious beliefs so I really do like this project of mine because I get to combine philosophy with fiction which is kinda cool. Critique and feedback is more than welcome.


Synopsis:
During a time when the world was in turmoil, three kung fu masters emerged and brought peace to the world. However, the arrogance and vanity of these masters turned them against one another and soon had them competing against one another for power, might, and influence, once again leading to disharmony in the world. Fortunately, an elderly man known as Guru was able to show these masters the folly of their ways and have them unite, thereby once again bringing peace to the world. Returning to the current timeline, a mysterious man has suddenly attacked the school of one of the masters, demanding that he have a fight with the master. Who is he? What are his goals?

What I Have So Far:
Spoiler
"Quiet down now children!" Jed ordered. "The master has a story to tell."

Master Baji beamed at the energetic youths sitting cross-legged on the polished wooden floor. The gray of his hair and beard showed signs of age but his face glowed with a freshness and purity like that of the lush hills upon which his school was built. His was the largest among all the Three Masters and the only to accept and house young children - a fact in which he took immense pride. Though black as night, his eyes twinkled. He must have recounted this tale at least a thousand times, yet he could not withhold his excitement.

When the children had all settled, Jed walked to his master's side. "I think we're ready Master."

Baji simply smiled and nodded at his most loyal disciple whom he had entrusted with the arduous task of managing and caring for the children. And what a splendid job he had done thus far.

The attentive eyes and blank expressions of the children meant he should not delay any longer. The tale - which had been passed down by his master, and the master before him, and the countless masters that came before - would inspire a new generation of spiritual and virtuous Kung Fu masters. As long as it was delivered in such a way that it would resonate with the children, that is. Master Baji could only hope that he would not fail at this task.   

"Long ago," he began, "the world was in a time of great turmoil: corruption and greed ran amok, crime and unlawfulness was rampant, evil hid in every corner. When all hope seemed to be lost, three individuals with extraordinary gifts emerged to restore peace and order to the world. They were the First Masters, the original founders of Kung Fu! Earning the respect and esteem of many across the world, the Masters gained huge followings and established their own schools of Kung Fu. However, there was a problem. It is often said: Glory is a poison that can be taken in small doses but when taken in large quantities, it can be impossible to digest." What does this mean? It means that the fame and glory had poisoned their hearts. The Masters were vain and arrogant, each thinking he was the greatest man to ever grace the Earth. As such, they could never get along, always competing to see who was stronger, who had more disciples, whose vision and philosophy of kung fu was superior. The Masters cared not for maintaining harmony in the world but more for increasing their own power and might. And so disharmony rose again and began to consume the world in its clutches. It is then that one day a very interesting thing happened. Master Elf, one of the First Masters, was holding sparring matches in his dojo. Outsiders, in addition to his disciples, were allowed to partake in these matches. All were shocked to see a  bald, plump, elderly man enter the dojo. His face was so pristine and calm, just like the white robes he donned.

He said with such humility, 'I challenge Master Elf to a duel.'

Master Elf and all the others laughed at the old man. But when they saw his determination they became silent. Master Elf stood from his seat and said, 'O old man! Have you lost your mind? Do you know who I am? I am the great Master Elf! My fists can shatter mountains and my legs can move the seas! And you dare to challenge me? Do you think this is a joke?'

The old man simply smiled and said, 'Master Elf, it was never my intention to disgrace you. I have made my request with the utmost solemnity and sincerity."

At this, Master Elf became enraged. He said, 'Fine. I will teach you what a loose mouth will get you.' And so they battled. Let me tell you: No one could have been more shocked by the outcome than Master Elf himself. The utter shock and horror he felt upon realizing that he was on the floor, completely humiliated in front of all his disciples by the unimposing old man hovering over him was too much. He had no pain, no cuts or bruises, or broken bones, or anything of that nature. But for the first time in his life, he felt overwhelmed. 'Who are you?' he asked the old man.

The old man, who had been so humble and nonchalant in victory, smiled. 'I am merely a servant of those who seek peace and happiness in the world.'

Master Elf was in tears. He bowed at the old man's feet. 'I know who you are! You are Guru! The master of masters, the wisest of the wise, the king of kings! O Guru, please teach me what I have failed to learn!"

Guru quietly helped Master Elf to his feet and said, 'On the night of the nearest full moon, meet me at the Great Banyan Tree and I shall teach all that you wish to know.'

And with that, the old man disappeared into the mist of the cold, Spring day. Like this, Guru went to the other two Masters, defeated them, and told them to meet him at the same location.

On the night of the full moon, the Masters gathered at the Great Banyan Tree but upon seeing each other they immediately started arguing. It is only when Guru appeared that they stopped, bowed at his feet, and sat on the ground before him. They asked for the knowledge they lacked. Guru sat under the Great Banyan Tree in silence for a moment. He then said gently, 'Touch the other's feet.'

Guru's words came as a surprise to the Masters. They hesitated, neither one willing to take such an action. Then Guru said, 'You wished to learn but look now how you refuse to do what I say. Your stubbornness and arrogance has created deficiencies within you and in this world. You seek greatness. But tell me. What is greatness? It is not power, might, or following. It is peace within the heart. Until you put aside your differences, you will not find peace within your heart, and without peace within your heart, you cannot possibly help others find peace. So what will it be? Will you unite and help bring peace to the world or allow the world to suffer? What is your decision? My special fried rice is getting cold so I'll give you ten seconds.'

Almost instantaneously, the Masters began touching one another's feet as a sign of respect and reverence. They agreed to put aside their differences and help restore peace to the world. When they turned back to see Guru's reaction, he had vanished. However, they heard a voice. 'Whenever there is darkness and chaos in the world, I will be there to stop it, for Guru never leaves the Earth.' From that day forward, the Masters stopped fighting with one another and worked together to maintain peace and order in the world."

Master Baji had become so engrossed in the story that only after he finished did he realize almost every child had dozed off to sleep.

Noticing his master's disappointed expression, Jed attempted to console him. "Worry not Master. The children are still young. A few more years to mature is all they need."

Baji mustered a half-hearted smile. "Yes, perhaps you are right Jed."

Jed clapped loudly, waking the children with a jolt. "Come on now. Story time is over. Back to your quarters."

"Is it over" and "can we have snack time" were a few of the phrases Baji could discern amongst the children's chatter. The children's innocence brought a smile to his face and renewed his spirits. Jed was right. He would try again in a couple years after the children had grown. 

As Jed guided the children out, a young man, battered and bloody, stumbled into the room. Baji immediately stood from his seat and rushed to the aid of the man, who could barely stand. "What happened Jof?"

Jof grimaced in pain. "This man - he wanted to fight you. We refused and we tried to stop him but-" The man clenched his teeth in remorse. He was too ashamed to continue. "We were no match Master! I'm sorry!" he yelled through his tears.

Baji attempted to console his disciple. He turned to Jed. "Evacuate the children immediately! Get them as far away from here as possible!"

Jed dashed off to do as told.

Baji laid his disciple on the floor and put his hand on his shoulder. "You don't worry. Just rest now. I will take care of everything."

He got back to his feet, his expression full of resolve. He stormed out the room, walked to the edge of the grassy hill, and looked down below. The sight crushed his heart. The bodies of his disciples lay sprawled and scattered everywhere; in the middle of it all stood a masked man clad in all white. Baji raced down the stone steps to confront the man.

"Who are you?" he roared.

The man stared at Baji for a few moments, his eyes like sapphire daggers. And then came his cold, coarse voice. "I am Guru."   
 
« Last Edit: July 17, 2016, 01:56:38 AM by Aozora »
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Check out my stories here: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=12492.msg213349#msg213349

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Guru
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2016, 09:22:46 PM »
Not bad! I love the distinct feel of your storytelling. Never forget the comma before calling someone by name, however. There's a peaceful tone here, and your descriptions are poetic and yet not too long. I can see where this is going, in a way, and yet, this is a very good hook into your story. It gives just enough to make you want more. You've written it very well, again outside of a few instances of commas.

Offline Aozora

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Re: Guru
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2016, 10:07:58 PM »
Thank you Mahlua for the kind comments! The peaceful tone was what I was going for so I am glad that you were able to feel that mood.

Yes I got a bit lazy with the commas. I'll be sure to fix that :)
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Check out my stories here: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=12492.msg213349#msg213349

Offline MK

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Re: Guru
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2016, 06:10:54 AM »
It definitly looks like it is too long to be a one shot.  Something I suggest is adding more details on Guru defeating the other 2 masters.  You gave a scene of how Master Elf reacted when he was challenged but simply said "And with that, the old man disappeared into the mist of the cold, Spring day. Like this, Guru went to the other two Masters, defeated them, and told them to meet him at the same location."

I feel like we got to know Master Elf's personality but not the other 2 masters.

Also, welcome back to MR

Offline Aozora

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Re: Guru
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2016, 10:16:24 AM »
Haha thanks for the welcome back! I've been around but not much recently. Also I never properly thanked you for that sketch you did of Hikaru. I saw it - it was really nicely done! I plan to post it in WC's character tournament thread when introducing Hikaru if that is ok with you.
----

The story that Baji is telling the children is just the back story for the main story. So it'll go by quick when illustrated - all still shots, no action shots. For instance, starting from "long ago" to "world in its clutches" could be finished in 3-4 panels. At least that is what I had envisioned. I could be wrong though cause you definitely have more experience in this field lol. What do you think? Since this is just a back story I left out details about the other two masters and how Guru defeated Master Elf on purpose because then it would have become really long. How Master Elf was defeated is meant to be kept as a mystery/surprise to the reader.

For the current three masters though, I do plan on giving details about their fighting abilities and personalities. Thanks for the review Matsui
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Check out my stories here: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=12492.msg213349#msg213349

Offline Aozora

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Tribute to My Real Guru - Pramukh Swami Maharaj
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2016, 04:25:53 AM »
Hey guys, I'm not sure if many of you knew this but this story Guru is based off of a real person in my life - my guru, Pramukh Swami Maharaj. He passed away a little less than a month after I posted the story on August 13, 2016. He was a visionary, a leader, a social servant, a teacher, but most of all he was the single most guiding force in my life and the lives of countless others all over the world. Therefore, his passing has been tough to bear. If you wish to learn more about Pramukh Swami Maharaj and the type of individual he was, you may go to this website: http://pramukhswami.org/
« Last Edit: September 27, 2016, 09:22:23 PM by Aozora »
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Check out my stories here: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=12492.msg213349#msg213349