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Author Topic: Sherbet's Unfortunate Art Collection  (Read 2373 times)

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Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Sherbet's Unfortunate Art Collection
« on: March 29, 2016, 10:49:42 AM »
Figured I may as well start one of these. Hopefully uploading a lot more this week.

Deathless Project: Storyboard Drafts

Note: This is a very basic storyboard layout. I've left out character appearances, clothing, backgrounds and text. This will change with time.
     

Page 1 Script
Panel 1: A man runs round the corner and down the alley.

Mini Panel: Man #1 turns back.

Panel 2:  His pursuer (Man #2) turns the corner.

Panel 3: Man #2 stops. He is wearing a bandanna and is using a scarf to cover his face.
Man #1: What the hell are you doing?

Panel 4: The man, shouting at his pursuer.
Man #1: You saw for yourself, I'm one of you!
Man #1: All you're doing is risking exposure for us both! Let me help you!

Panel 5: A second pursuer's face, also covered and wearing a fedora
Man #3: That's funny.
Man #3: You think we're the same?

Panel 6: The man's shock at hearing a voice behind him.
Man #3: No.

Panel 7: Man #1 is surrounded by the two men. 
Man #3: We...
Man #3: Are going to be so much more.


Page 2 Script
Panel 1: Man in Fedora adjusts his hat.
Man #3: We'd like you to come with us quietly,
Man #3: Whether you do it by choice is of no concern to me.
 
Panel 2: Man is listening to Man in Fedora.
Man #3: It would make things much easier,
Man #3: but I'm guessing you're just like the last one.
Man #3: Stubborn...

Panel 3: Man #1 takes something from his belt.
Man #1: Heh...
 
Panel 4: The item appears to be a small metal handle.
Man #1: Guess I know what happened to Brock now...
 
Panel 5: It extends into a baton. The man takes a combat stance. 
Man #1: I have a few questions and you're going to answer them,
Man #1: Or you'll have more than my stubborn side to deal with.


Page 3 Script
Panel 1: Man #3 cocks an eyebrow.
Man #3: Well, you certainly don't lack confidence...

Panel 2: Man #1 hears a sound behind him, he turns.
Man #3: But Im afraid we're out of time for questions

Panel 3: Man #2 advances to attack, Man #1 prepares himself.
Man #3: Take him.

Panel 4: Man #1 raises his baton, ready to strike.
Man #1: Just try it!
 
Panel 5: Man #2's face.
Man #1: What are you meant to be, some kind of ninja?

Panel 6: Man #1 swings his baton, Man #2 ducks under it.
Man #1: Sorry, but I'm...?     
Man #2: Pathetic.

Panel 7: Man #2 strikes Man #1 in the stomach. Man #3 watches in the background.
Man #2: You don't deserve your title...
Man #1 (thought): He's fast...urk!

Panel 8: Man #1 coughs blood as he keels over.
Man #2: ..."Deathless."

« Last Edit: April 02, 2016, 08:32:34 AM by MisterSherBETLemon »

Offline Walter B

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2016, 10:53:44 AM »
Cool what is it about?

Seems like we have a fight coming up  ;)

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2016, 10:55:52 AM »
Is that a stun baton?

Like the figures actually. Would love to see explanation for the storyboard too though. Great to see Deathless is progressing!

Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2016, 12:04:17 PM »
Added script below them, first draft mind you. ;)

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2016, 01:50:57 PM »
Wait I'm confused because of the naming. They're two men in fedoras right? Or is it just 2 men? I think numbered labels like '#1' and '#2' would help.

Huh, I can't quite figure out who is who just yet even after knowing what you've been developing for the story. Will be looking forward to the others!

Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2016, 02:05:22 PM »
Haha just realized I mixed up some of the lines and who said them. One man with a fedora and one with a bandanna. The one with the bandanna has no lines here.

Edited it to fix that. ;)

Cool what is it about?

Seems like we have a fight coming up  ;)

It's an action/drama story about Immortals.

Offline Walter B

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2016, 03:25:46 PM »
The bandana guy is Grave by chance?

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Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2016, 03:32:18 PM »
Afraid not, there's a character in this that's similar to him in terms of personality but I'm holding onto the hope that someday Grave's original story will be a project I'm in the mood to work on again so no Grave in this story. :P

Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #8 on: March 29, 2016, 04:58:47 PM »
Page 3 is up. First time trying to construct a fight scene.

Offline Walter B

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #9 on: March 29, 2016, 05:04:35 PM »
The swing and dodge thing is very good and clear.  I think the panels below could be a bit more dynamic. I'm guessing the guy punched him in the belly but it is not so clear.

For this you could add some action lines to the ninja's arm and make the bandana guy arms kind of going toward his belly (if you get punched in the stomach your reaction is not to wave your arms like that, your arms would automatically go to your belly too)

Fight scenes are always awesome. Looking forward for more!!!
« Last Edit: March 29, 2016, 05:07:27 PM by Walter B »

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Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2016, 05:06:55 PM »
Yeah, I'm fine with the angle for it but the drawing could be improved. Had trouble getting the positioning on the arm right. Next part's going to be a b**ch to draw as there's more grappling now they're in close range haha.

Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #11 on: March 30, 2016, 06:09:06 PM »
So this is a recent sketch of Deathless protagonist Drake who makes his appearance within the next couple pages of storyboard that I'll be posting up.


Offline The SlamJam

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2016, 02:19:07 AM »
Edit: I'm an idiot.



Looks cool though! :)
« Last Edit: March 31, 2016, 02:31:43 AM by The SlamJam »

Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2016, 07:40:17 AM »
Didn't see your original post but I'm assuming the pre-April Fools is working a treat xD

Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: Sherbert's Unfortunate Art Collection
« Reply #14 on: March 31, 2016, 10:59:15 AM »

Deathless Page 4 Script
Panel 1: Man #1 with a hand around his throat
Panel 2: Man #3, watching the fight
Panel 3: Man #2 lifting Man #1 by the throat
Panel 4: Man #2 smashes Man #1 against the wall.
Panel 5: Man #2 holding Man #1 by the throat against the wall which has cracked. Man #3 has come closer to speak. The baton lays snapped on the ground.
Panel 6: Man #3 lowering his scarf
Panel 7: Man #1 opens an eye to look
Panel 8: Man #3, eyes concealed by the fedora, he grins
Panel 9: Man #1's eye widens in shock.

Will edit in dialogue later, about to head out for food.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2016, 11:01:16 AM by lego_maestro »