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Poll

What Was The Best Arc?

Aika Crisis
1 (50%)
War Cloud
0 (0%)
Dawn and Dusk
0 (0%)
Satori no Akuma
0 (0%)
Himushi Redemption
0 (0%)
Letting Go
0 (0%)
Inari Standoff
1 (50%)
The Corpse's Romance
0 (0%)
The End of Osamu Ashikaga
0 (0%)
Senkumo War Stories: Book of Blossoming
0 (0%)
Senkumo War Stories: Book of Betrayal
0 (0%)
Senkumo War Stories: Book of Revenge
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 2

Author Topic: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (Book of Revenge soon, comrades!)  (Read 184035 times)

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Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Death By Ex-Girlfriend (Book of Revenge soon, comrades!)
« on: February 12, 2016, 02:10:34 AM »
Hello and welcome to DEATH BY EX-GIRLFRIEND, where all your dreams and spare time come to die!

This is a very, very, VERY long story, making it seem like a daunting, herculean task to even get into it. But fear not, Raiders, I shall guide you in this post. Below is a short description, general synopsis of the story as a whole, arc-based synopses, and other information you'll want or need in order to get into the story. Please do enjoy.

If you want to review this story, you can either post an arc-by-arc review, or give your thoughts on the tale as a whole.



About Death by Ex-Girlfriend
Spoiler
Death by Ex-Girlfriend is a Romance/Harem series imbued with comedy, drama, and action. It may sound vain, but I'd like to believe that DbEG succeeds in areas where the common Harem doesn't; the characters. Of course, the girls involved are eccentric and colorful, but the MC has his own brand of personality and development. Being a very character-driven story, DbEG is divided into arcs rather than a continuous, arching plot line.

There are currently 10 arcs, two of them being side arcs. I'll walk you through them shortly.



General Synopsis/1st Arc Synopsis
Spoiler
Meet Osamu Ashikaga. He returns to Kyoto after 4 years away, expecting a short trip down memory lane...only to be kidnapped by one of his ex-girlfriends. But it's not just one, Osamu has several crazy dames vying for his heart, and sometimes his blood.

Despite the obsessive, psychotic, and sometimes violent behavior of his exes, the simple fact of the matter is that a web of love binds them all. As they all begin to live under the same roof, is it possible for Osamu to reconnect with his exes and rekindle the flames of painfully lost love? Death by Ex-Girlfriend is ultimately a story of how far Osamu and his crazy little family of exes are willing to go for themselves and for each other. This long story begins with the first arc, Aika Crisis.




In Aika Crisis, the star of the story is Aika Mihara, one of Osamu's exes. Things have changed dramatically in the 4 years Osamu has been away, including Aika's heart. How much anger, love, and misery can be bottled up in just 4 years? Enough to kill you.

Osamu and his not-so-sane exes try to save Aika's life before it can ever be in danger. But sometimes, love stops giving you things and begins taking them away, without mercy.


MR: Aika Crisis (1st Arc)
Medibang: Aika Crisis (1st Arc)








It's funny, it's crude, it's sexy, it's endearing. It's Death by Ex-Girlfriend.

2nd Arc: War Cloud
Spoiler
After having saved Aika Mihara's life in Aika Crisis, the story of Osamu Ashikaga continues in the new arc, War Cloud. This time, Osamu is reunited with yet another ex....who happens to be a WAR GODDESS?!

Tsukiakari Senkumo returns after many years apart from Osamu, hoping to rekindle a warm, lost love during the cold, bitter winter. However, Tsukiakari holds a terrible past within her, a bond of sorrow with Izanami, as well as a very uncertain near-future.

The winter is the season of love, and also of harsh lessons. Osamu must decide, more than ever, what is truly important to him.

MR:War Cloud (2nd Arc)
Medibang:War Cloud Part 1(2nd Arc)
War Cloud Part 2








(Make War, not Love)
(Give War a Chance)
(Peace is Over)


3rd Arc: Dawn and Dusk
Spoiler
Death by Ex-Girlfriend returns in a new arc, Dawn and Dusk.

Dawn and Dusk continues the tale of Osamu Ashikaga, his ex-girlfriends, and the many friends they've made along the way. In an embarrassing series of events, the Shoku Twins are separated, bringing about a countdown to the end of the world, and it's all the fault of Rei Goukan, a former classmate of Osamu and Isabella. However, that's not the only problem that presents itself to the group. Something terrible is happening inside of Isabella, something that will ultimately put an end to her life.

It is a tale of friendship, love, memories, and tragedy. Just as this happy family of former lovers and friends came together and grew together, there must also be a time when one leaves, and sometimes, there's nothing you can do to stop it.


MR:Dawn and Dusk (3rd Arc)
Medibang: Dawn and Dusk (3rd Arc)







Laughs and tears are promised in this heartfelt, 20-chapter addition to the Death by Ex-Girlfriends series.


4th Arc: Satori no Akuma
Spoiler
A young, dashing diabolical man named Satori approaches you, invites forces you to his extravagant mansion, dances as he shows you the corpses of your parents, and makes an ultimatum with you: Help me find the cure for my affliction, or die along with them.

In the 4th arc of Death by Ex-Girlfriends, that is exactly what Osamu Ashikaga and his band of wives must go through. Not only must they deal with a madman, but their dreaded task also forces him to face yet another goddess, one who is unable to stop cursing those she loves. She is the source of Satori's affliction, but also a person who is dear to Izanami. Just what is her name? What is her affiliation with Izanami? How can Osamu bring an end to this curse so everyone leave satisfied?


MR:Satori no Akuma (4th Arc)
Medibang: Satori no Akuma Part 1 (4th Arc)
Satori no Akuma Part 2





Come one, come all, the attractions are all set.


5th Arc(Side Arc):Himushi Redemption
Spoiler

Himushi Redemption is the 5th arc in the Death by Ex-Girlfriend series.

Taking place shortly his ordeal with Amatsutsuki, Osamu Ashikaga embarks on a peculiar adventure with his newfound pal Shinju Miyakawa, who receives a mysterious letter by one calling himself Total Occupying Forehead. The letter gives hints to clues to the sender's identity, what they want, and exactly where they want Shinju to go. Shinju is about to discover that two people she thought were dead are still very much alive.

A journey of rekindled friendship and bitter antagonism begins with this letter, and ends in blood and tears.

MR:Himushi Redemption
Medibang:Himushi Redemption (5th Arc)







6th Arc: Letting Go
Spoiler
Osamu Ashikaga finally catches a break and gets to spend most of his time absorbed in the daily shenanigans of his wives and new housemate Amatsutsuki Sentani. With all of his problems taken care of and a few babies on the way, life seems to finally be taking a kind turn for Osamu. However, trouble appears at Osamu's door. Literally.

In comes Rousoku Himawari, Osamu's ex from long ago, after he had left Kyoto. The gap in time between them makes it hard for them to reconnect like they did so many years ago, but that's the least of their problems. Rousoku has no memory of where exactly she was before she suddenly showed up in Kyoto, on Osamu's doorstep. Sensing a supernatural ailment that's blocking her memories, Osamu and the gang offer their help, but learn the awful truth behind Rousoku's sudden arrival in the process.

As such, Osamu and Rousoku are put at odds. Can they reconcile, or will they miss their final chance to be at peace with each other? At the same time, Yoko also receives a call from a person in her past; her mother. As Osamu deals with Rosouku, Yoko has to reconnect with her mother, in spite of their rough relationship throughout her childhood.

In the end, both parties will have to let go of something.


MR:Letting Go


7th Arc: Inari Standoff
Spoiler
With his heart burdened by the ordeal with Rousoku, fate was about to force Osamu into another tragic situation. The fox goddess Inari Ookami has been on the run, hunted by her fellow gods and their legions of exorcists for centuries. Now backed into a corner, she prepares to stand her ground and fight off her pursuers, knowing full well she may not make it.

Fate ultimately brings Inari Ookami and Osamu Ashikaga together during this time, both of them suffering from years of pain and heartache. Though the fox goddess is resentful of humans, she teams up with Osamu to fend off the pursuing exorcists, thus beginning the pivotal event that would be known as the Inari Standoff, putting Osamu at direct odds with Heaven itself.

This is a tale of tragedy, blood, and love. A tale of two people, one human, and one god, finding themselves in each other, and vowing to stay by each other until the end.

MR:Inari Standoff
Medibang:Inari Standoff (7th Arc)









8th Arc: The Corpse's Romance
Spoiler
7 Years after Inari Standoff, Osamu is forced into a very complicated situation. He is the most wanted man in all of Heaven, and he has no choice but to take refuge under a vampire's roof. That's right, a vampire.

Hima Chinagaregawa looks like a little girl, but she is a 100+ year old descendant of Count Dracula himself. This little girl just might agree to help Osamu, but only if she entertains him by sharing the story of his past, the story of how he first became suicidal.

Osamu wasn't always the brave, lady-magnet and protector we all currently know him to be. There was a time when, like you and I, Osamu was a just a normal, cowardly, scared, and fragile human. His original decision to leave Kyoto many years ago was one plagued by tragedy, depression, and an urge to escape certain suicide if he stayed.

The Corpse's Romance is a look into the future after Inari Standoff, and a bittersweet tale of the past, Osamu's decision to leave Kyoto.


MR:The Corpse's Romance
Medibang:The Corpse's Romance (8th Arc)







9th Arc: The End of Osamu
Spoiler
Osamu leads a relatively normal and relaxed life 7 years after the events of Inari Standoff. However, it seems Osamu's luck is returning as a deathly miasma. Only too late has Osamu realized he has been played, led to the slaughterhouse by Amaterasu. He must give his blood and his heart, two gifts from Inari, over to Amaterasu one day, and his children may be the ones who grow up to do the deed.

Because his involvement in the Inari Standoff made him and his family enemies of Heaven, Osamu will have to rely on a very unlikely kind of people to help him during the greatest and final crisis of his accursed life; the vampire queen Hima Chinagaregawa, and her vampirical nationalist partner, Annabel.

With the sands in his hourglass reaching their last grains, we begin The End of Osamu Ashikaga, the final tale of Osamu's long and eventful life.


MR:The End of Osamu
Medibang:The End of Osamu Part 1







10th Arc: Senkumo War Stories
Spoiler
Very long arc, longer than The End of Osamu Ashikaga, even! I'm running out of space here so I'll just link it. The arc is split into three parts or "books".

Book of Blossoming
Book of Betrayal
Book of Vengeance








Have you ever had your ex girlfriend try to kill you? Well, you're about to find out what that's like.  :hmm:

This may or may not turn into a thing.

Day 1: My Ex Girlfriend Called An Airstrike on My House

Spoiler
(To whom it may concern...)

(My name is Osamu Ashikaga. I don't know what time it is, and I don't know where I am. When I opened my eyes, I was tied to a chair in some abandoned bowling alley, and the only person there....was my ex girlfriend. She's honestly beautiful.)



*R O U G E*




(She had me falling in love with her blue eyes and red hair so many years ago. She was cold at first, but she'd always gave you this sweet look, like the kind of look your mother gives to you when she tucks you in for bed. However...these days...she's nothing but a rotten, violent psychopath!)


The sweaty and struggling Osamu bore wavy, shoulder length hair as black as night. He usually wore some sweatpants and a black thermal with a golden peace sign necklace. Osamu's wicked, devilish ex, Yoko Akiyama, emerged from the darkness with the scent of strawberry perfume, vexation, and vengeance around her. She pressed the heel of her stiletto against Osamu's chest and pointed her glimmering katana at his frightened face.

The only light in the room was an electric lantern she brought with her. Her raised leg meant that Osamu caught a glimpse of her panties, since she was wearing a skirt. She wore a denim vest and a white shirt with the kanji for "Love" printed on it, because certainly, someone who would kidnap another person knew what love was.

(There we go...those eyes again...)

Yoko: Now then, are you ready to talk?

Osamu: T-talk? Talk about what?!

Yoko: Oh, I don't know, maybe why the hell you decided to come back to town after what you did! Do you have a deathwish?! You do, don't you!

Osamu: Yoko, darling, please listen to me-

Yoko: Shut up.

Yoko slowly moved the sword down from Osamu's lips and to his chest, stopping at his groin. Lovingly, of course, because everything Yoko did was an act of love, no matter how insane it was.

Yoko: You're still as handsome as ever. It's too bad you're nothing but a filthy insect. Where would you like me to cut first? Your face? Your biceps? How about your-

Osamu: Don't cut me anywhere! I don't understand! Why do you hate me so much?!

Yoko stabbed the katana down into the ground. It stood perfectly still and upright without her holding it.

(That was almost my manhood!)

Yoko: Why?!?! Maybe because you suddenly moved away from Kyoto without saying anything to me!

Osamu: I never....oh wait!

(Damn this Hostage's Haze. I moved away from Kyoto for a few years and left her and all my other exes behind...I must really look like an asshole...)

Yoko: Oh? So you remember?

Osamu: Of course I do! But I left partly because all my exes are insane!

Yoko: What the hell did you just say?!

Yoko picked up the sword again, pressing deeper and deeper into Osamu's chest.

Yoko: We're crazy? Hahahaha! Crazy?! After dating you, there's no such thing as crazy! All of this is perfectly normal to me!

Osamu: This is exactly why I left!

Yoko: So then? Why did you come back?

Osamu: Because...I wanted to see someone...

Osamu turned his head away as he said that.

(What? Why doesn't she say something? Wait...is she crying?!)

Osamu looked up, and those sweet eyes that he remembered returned, adorned with tears of happiness. Yoko hugged Osamu, bringing both of them to the ground and knocking around a few of the bowling balls laying around.

Yoko: Osa, you sweetheart! You really did miss me all this time?

(I didn't mean you, damn it! But if I say that, she'll cut off something very important to me!)

Osamu: Uhh..well...

Yoko: I won't lie, I hated you for leaving all this time, but if you want to start over and turn a new leaf, I'd happily do it with you! I love you, Osamu!

(See this crap?! This is partly why I left!)

Yoko stood up, her skirt dangling over Osamu. In a moment that deserved to be filmed and preserved for all eternity, Yoko's hands traced up the skin her soft, milky thighs, lifting up the skirt. Her thumbs dug themselves underneath the waist straps of her pink and white striped panties. With a slight bend of her back, Yoko lifted one of her legs out from the confines of the underwear, followed by the other leg, and let her sacred, soft, slightly wet pair of panties fall onto Osamu's face. Oddly enough, Yoko's underwear had the sweet aroma of blooming flowers attached to it.

Osamu: Holy crap! What are you doing, Yoko?!

Yoko: Stripping! I want to make love, right here and now!

(Do you see why I left yet?!?)

Yoko took off her vest and lifted her shirt to reveal her pink, see-through bra adorned with ribbons at the top of the straps. Her underwear depicted the kanji for ocean, since the "Yo" in her name was written with the character.

Osamu: Yoko, wait, I'm not ready for th-

Yoko abruptly pressed her finger against Osamu's lips, silencing him as her tongue ran across her top lip.

Yoko: I want you to be rough with me tonight. Even if I tell you it hurts and beg you to stop, just keep going.

(M-maybe this situation isn't all that bad...)

Yoko pressed her finger past Osamu's lips and into his mouth, for reasons that surely only had to do with love.

(What is she doing?!)

She removed her finger and sucked on it, her face blushing at the taste.

Yoko: You're so delicious, love! I'm starting to get really hot now! Let's do it!

Osamu: Wait!

An explosion through the wall rocked the bowling alley and disrupted them. Osamu began to cough as smoke filled the bowling lanes as well as his lungs.

Osamu: Oh no, it's-

Yoko: "Her"...

A well armed squad of mercenaries stormed the bowling alley and pointed their guns and blidning, flashlights at Yoko, casting her shadow upon the dilapidated bowling lanes behind her. A rather familiar voice rang out from the smoke.

Voice: Well, well, well. Look who we have here. Yoko Akiyama and Osamu Ashikaga. My rival and my first love, both in one place. Perfect...

(No, why did she have to be here too?!)

Yoko: Damn it, and I made sure I wasn't followed!

Out from the smoke came Isabella Bailey, an American girl with long, blonde hair decorated with metal beads, blue eyes, and quite the nice rack. Her nails were each painted red, white and blue, in honor of her home country.

(Yoko, you're so stupid! You can't forget her father is a US general! She has connections to the US military and even more connections to mercenary groups across the globe!)

Yoko: How rude of you, Gaijin. We were just about to make love after four years apart.

Isabella: L-love?! Osamu, you cheating bastard!

Osamu: How is it cheating?! We already broke up!

Isabella: But I still love you, you dummy! How could you just leave like that?!

Yoko: Osamu loves me more. Your affection for him means nothing. Now scram, Gaijin.

Isabella: Don't...call me...GAIJIN!

Isabella pulled out a glorious, golden desert eagle and aimed it at Yoko. At the same time, Yoko grabbed her panties and katana off of the floor, pointing the latter at Isabella. The two were locked in a deadly, jealous standoff.



*I HAVE TO SAY*


*I'M ONLY SURPRISED IT

DIDN'T HAPPEN SOONER*





Yoko: So? What happens now? Are you really ready to die?

Isabella: Please, you crazy bitch. I'm the one with the gun here.

Osamu: Both of you, stop this immediately! This is cr-

(Wait a minute! This is the perfect time for me to get out of these ropes and escape! They might kill each other, but I can at least be free! Just gotta work these ropes off...)

Yoko cut the gun in half with her katana and kicked Isabella into the squad of mercenaries. She dashed back to Osamu, quickly cutting the ropes and taking his hand.

Isabella: Damn you! Kill them both!

As they ran out of the bowling alley and out into the empty, dark streets, they avoided the storm of bullets behind them that tore apart the walls and shattered the remaining glass of the abandoned building. They kept on running, refusing to even look back.

Osamu: I knew I should've just stayed home! This is all your fault, Yoko! Why did you have to kidnap me?!

Yoko: My fault?! What am I supposed to do against her?! She has too many connections! If anything, it's your fault for making your return so high-profile!

Osamu: What the hell do you mean?!

Yoko: I saw you posting photos on Twitter, you jerk!

(She stalks my social media?!)

Osamu: Argh! This is bull*censored*!

Yoko took Osamu into an alleyway, where they could hide from Isabella's army of mercenaries. Even if just for a moment, the darkness and silence of the alley offered them a sense of peace after all of that chaos.

(I can hardly catch my breath! I know we're in danger, but how can she run so fast!?)

Yoko: We lost them for now.

Yoko held up her pair of panties, remembering she still hadn't put them back on. Of course, any normal girl would recognize it if it felt a little too breezy between her legs, but for Yoko, it always felt like that when she longed for Osamu.

Yoko: Oh, did you want to have a lick before I put these back on?

Osamu: No, that's fine! Go ahead and put them back on!

Yoko: Okay then, don't complain later.

Osamu: Believe me, I won't!

(Hmm? Did someone just tap my back?)

Osamu turned around and saw yet another ghost from the past before his eyes.

(No...no no no no! This can't be happening!)

Out from the darkness of the alleyway came a beautiful girl with black hair, pale skin, and lips stricken with cyanosis. Indeed, she was dead. More specifically, she was the one and only Izanami, an actual, living goddess. She wore a summer dress with cherry blossoms on it, and her large, brilliant eyes were a bright red.

Yoko: You?! Coprse!

(Damn it, Yoko! Stop calling her Corpse! You know damn well who this goddess is!)

Izanami: Corpse? Why would you say something so hurtful?! What have I ever done to you?

Yoko: You are Izanami, after all.  I assume you're here because of Osamu as well?

Osamu: Hold on, since when do you two know each other?!

Yoko: It's a long story, Osamu.

Izanami hugged and held Osamu from behind, refusing to let him go as he resisted.

Izanami: I heard the noise up ahead and knew what Isabella was doing. The only thing that drives her crazy enough to use deadly force is Osamu! Why didn't you tell me you were back in town, Osamu?! Do you wanna come over to my place and watch movies? There's no hard feelings between you and me, I promise! You left without any warning, but I forgive you! Let's catch up and talk, okay?

Osamu: Listen, I've had the worst night so far!

Yoko: Osamu is coming home with me, and we are going to have rough sex until the break of dawn!

Osuma: Like hell we are! I just want to get home!

Those words echoed through Izanami's precious heart. Shebegan to cry and fell to Osamu's knees, hugging onto his leg as she looked back up at him with tears running down her cheeks.

Izanami: I-is that true, Osamu? Do you still love Yoko?

(Crap, if I say I don't she'll cut my balls off! If I say I do, Izanami will feel terrible! She did so much for me before I left, so I can't just hurt her feelings. What do I do?! Maybe I should just kill myself!)

Yoko pointed her sword at Osamu, her blue eyes shining fiercely in the darkness.

Osamu: What's that for?!

Yoko: Well, Osamu? You DO love me right? Tell her. Tell her how much you love your beautiful, precious darling, Yoko Akiyama. Tell her you love me, we're getting married soon, and we're going to have twenty-four babies.

Osamu: For god's sake, twenty-four?!? Are we starting a clan?!

Yoko: We're revitalizing the Akiyama and Ashikaga clans, to be precise.

Izanami: Well?! Who do you love?

(I'm dead either way!)

Voice: Let him go!

(You've got to be kidding me...Aika?!)

Aika stood just outside the alleyway, her long, brown, wavy hair flowing in the wind. She wore a floral t-shirt with a leather jacket over it, depicting thorn-covered roses and tiny hearts broken in half. Her brown eyes matched her hair, and her black, torn jeans matched the darkness of her jacket. The shirt was a little too short and didn't cover her pierced belly button. She was Rock n' Roll personified.

Yoko: Seriously?! You too? I'm gonna have to kill three harlots tonight.

Aika: Izanami, let him go! I still owe him a fist up the ass for breaking my heart!

Osamu: How does everyone know I even-

(Wait, Yoko said she saw me post pictures on the internet! Does that mean they all stalk my social media?!)

Yoko: You should really just throw all of your electronics in a river, Osamu.

Izanami: No way! Osamu wants to watch movies with me!

Yoko: He wants to make love to me and rebuild our relationship!

Aika: Shut the hell up!

In a bought of callous hatred and possible insanity, Aika threw live fireworks into the alleyway, and the fuse was almost completely burnt out.

Yoko: That...that crazy bitch...RUN!

Everyone ran out of the alleyway and back onto the street as the fireworks splashed inside the alleyway and flashed blue light all around, accompanied by explosive blooms and ear-ringing whistles. Once again, everyone stopped to catch their breath, unable to believe that the night could get any worse.

Osamu: Maybe I really should just stay with Yoko...

Izanami: Osa! I thought you loved ME!

Yoko: I don't like repeating myself, Corpse! He loves me!

Aika: I don't give a damn who he loves! He's dead! Osamu!

Osamu: Aika, baby, lets talk about this! There's a lot that none of you guys know!

Yoko: "Baby"?!

(I'm dead!)

Yoko: Oh, I see what's going on here. This Rock n' Roll whore is your mistress!

Osamu: How could you jump to such an insane conclusion?!

(Someone please just nuke this city!)

Aika started running towards Osamu with the intent to punch him, but...

Osamu: Aika, wait!

Aika: Don't tell me what t-

Aika fell face first on the pavement. She tripped on her shoelaces, of all things.




*SMOOTH MOVE*





Osamu: You were never good at tying your shoes...

Aika, with a bloody nose, started crying like a baby.

Aika: Don't look at me, I'm hideous!

Osamu: You were always a crybaby too. Here.

(Thank god I'm one of those assholes that always carries around a handkerchief.)

Aika: F-for me? Really?

Osamu: Come on, go ahead and use it.

Aika: Osamu...

Yoko: Keep staring at him lovingly like that, and I'll gouge your eyes out.

Aika: You don't scare me, bitch!

Izanami: I want a handkerchief too...

Isabella: Ah-hah! Found you!

(There she is again! And she brought her troops with her!)

Isabella: Oh, so it looks like all of the exes have come out of the woodworks! It's time to die, everyone! Are you ready, boys? Fire on my mark! One! Two! Three!

(So this is how I'm going to die, gunned down in the streets like some animal. Here I come, Death. Embrace me gently.)

Suddenly, one of the mercenaries' digital watches started beeping.

Isabella: What the hell is that?! That's not gunfire I'm hearing!

Merc: Alright, pack it up folks! This is all the time we got paid for. Have your father wire the money whenever he can.

The mercenaries all dispersed and headed back home, leaving Isabella by herself. It was a beautifully euphoric moment for Yoko, who erupted into taunting laughter as Isabella's face turned beet red.

Yoko: Oh look at that! Gaijin is all by her poor, lonesome self while I have my man and my blade! What are you going to do, Gaijin? Will you run and cry back to the United States of Crybaby Land?

Isabella: Damn you, Osamu! Why did you come back here?! You should've stayed gone!

Izanami: Don't talk that way about my eternal husband!

Osamu: Husband?!

Izanami: You don't want to get married?

Suddenly, the sound of a jet flying overhead roared through the sky. Isabella's phone rang in her pocket, and she hesitantly answered the sudden call.

Isabella: H-hello?

Fox 1-9: Isabella, this is Fox One Niner, target in sight and JDAM being released in 5, 4-

Isabella: Oh my god! Duck!

Osamu: What's happening?!

Yoko: Just duck!

Everyone huddled on the sidewalk together as a fighter jet released two JDAM's in the direction of Osamu's house. The explosion and subsequent tower of black smoke was visible from their position, rocking the entire neighborhood like Godzilla's footsteps.

(No way...that's in the direction of my house!)

Osamu: Izzy! Did you call an airstrike on my house?!

Isabella: I'm sorry! He came late!

Osamu: That's not the problem here!

Fox 1-9: Isabella, this is Fox One Niner, good effect on target. The building is completely destroyed. Returning to base, over and out.




*GOD BLESS AMERICA*




Yoko: See? You always mess everything up.

Isabella: Crap...

Osamu: Now I have nowhere to live...I'm homeless! I'll have to beg for money and dig for food in trash cans!

Yoko: Save your tears, my love. Tears do not belong on a man's face! Until Isabella can find you a new place, you can come live with me! It works out great, because now I can massage you to relieve you of your stress! You know, down there!

Osamu: I hate my life...

(I think...no way...I'm so angry...that I'm starting to lose consciousness...)

Osamu blacked out right then and there just from the sheer anger and stress of it all. The girls shrieked and huddled around him in the middle of the street, each of them wearing oddly angry expressions on their faces, as if they felt it was unfair Osamu was able to fall unconscious instead of being awake to comprehend their rage and psychotic love. Despite their attempts to keep him lucid, Osamu fell into a sleep-like darkness.

(That was her...the one I wanted to see. I mean, I wanted to make amends with all of them, but especially with her...with Aika. I wonder what she's been up to since I left. I wonder how she's been. I wonder...if it's too late to say that I'm sorry for her loss.)

When he awoke, he was in a bedroom, laying in a king-sized bed. A blue lava lamp on the table next to the bed provided a ghostly glow of ocean-colored light.

(What is this? Was it all just a bad dream? Did I die? Or...)

He turned to his right and saw a naked Yoko cuddling with him, half-asleep and softly breathing onto his chest.

(No no no no no! This can't be real! This is Yoko's place?!)

Yoko: Mmmm. Osamu, you beast. That felt so good.

(Dear god, was I molested while I was unconscious?!)

Osamu: Umm..did we...

Yoko: No "we". You were still knocked out. Stop talking now, we should sleep.

(I don't know whether to be aroused or to call the police...but I guess...this is how my first night back starts, huh? This is going to be one hell of a ride..)



*END OF THE FIRST DAY*


« Last Edit: December 04, 2019, 01:51:23 PM by OhGodHelpMe »

Offline Operative13

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2016, 02:23:32 AM »
What's this? A new piece from OGHM that I've yet to read about?  :hmm:

I guess it's time to brew some coffee 8)
“To give of oneself is the noblest of all acts.”

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Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2016, 05:35:19 AM »
I really don't know if I'll go anywhere with this concept  :clapping: Figured it wouldn't hurt to try though since 6 Cataclysms is consuming my life

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2016, 07:00:34 AM »
I'd say go for it! It's only been the first chapter and I'm already hooked!  :biggrin: All I can think of is how much of a yandere harem he's got himself into, which quite frankly you don't see much of around these parts ('cuz you know, the whole "kill everyone he looks at" mentality...  :sure: )
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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2016, 07:38:50 AM »
In that case, I think I'll continue with this one  :clapping:

Offline Manimal

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2016, 08:45:46 AM »
Oh God help me, OhGodHelpMe has another story! Ha ha, let's read.

Chapter 1
Spoiler

Yoko stood up, her skirt dangling over Osamu. She took off her panties and let them fall on Osamu's face.
- I'm beginning to understand your stories a lot more now.

Yoko took off her vest and lifted her shirt to reveal her bra. It wasn't taken off, and rested on her breasts. It was just so that her stomach could be bare. She had a belly button piercing depicting the kanji for ocean, since the "Yo" in her name was written with the kanji.


She removed her finger and sucked on it, her face blushing at the taste.
- and you lost me...ew.

An explosion through the wall rocked the bowling alley and disrupted them. Osamu began to cough as smoke filled the bowling lanes.
- Now it's getting wild!

Voice: Well, well, well. Look who we have here. Yoko Akiyama and Osamu Ashikaga. My rival and my first love, both in one place. Perfect...
- You are always gonna be my love! This is amusing.

Out from the smoke came Isabella Bailey, an American girl with blonde hair decorated with metal beads, blue eyes, and quite the nice rack. Her nails were each painted red, white and blue, in honor of her home country.
- Could an American girl in these stories ever not have blonde hair?

Isabella pulled out a desert eagle and pointed it at Yoko. At the same time, Yoko grabbed her panties and her katana, pointing the latter at Isabella.
- Now this is an epic showdown.

Out from the darkness of the alleyway came a beautiful girl with black hair, pale skin, and lips stricken with cyanosis. Indeed, she was dead. More specifically, she was a zombie. She wore a summer dress with cherry blossoms on it, and her eyes were a bright red.
- It gets even more crazy.

Yoko: Osamu is coming home with me, and we are going to have rough sex until the break of dawn!
- She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean...

Voice: Let him go!

(You've got to be kidding me...Aika?!)
-Oh no not another!

Osamu: Izzy! Did you call an airstrike on my house?!

Isabella: I'm sorry! He came late!
- Jeez...you make me Dizzy Miss Izzy...it doesn't work that way.

Osamu blacked out right then and there.
- Oh no.

(Dear god, was I molested while I was unconscious?!)

Osamu: Umm..did we...

Yoko: No "we". You were still knocked out. Stop talking now, we should sleep.
- Jeez dude.

So this was um, not a bad read. It was pretty entertaining and like Anzu it was pretty easy to read and keep focus on. Again you really went all out here with the raunchy stuff. Your set up is decent, introducing all the ex girlfriends at once, but it really seems like Yoko is the only option here after...you know raping Osamu! Imagine if the roles where flipped and Osamu kidnaps and rapes Yoko. That's just a strange observation from any kind of harem or  ecchi, not a mark against your story because I know exactly what you're going for here and you have pulled that off well. I don't have much to say in the way of critique, it was an amusing story and the set up was crazy so keep the yandere antics coming I suppose. Yoko is giving me Yuno vibes though and I don't like that personally.


Offline Manimal

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2016, 09:38:34 AM »
Actually I was thinking it might be fun to draw these characters. If you'd like that (keep in mind my art style!) could you give some more detailed description specifically on Yoko?

Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2016, 01:56:55 PM »
Do as you please, Manimal  :clapping:

Yoko Akiyama has:

-Strawberry-red hair, usually just has it down

-Peachy skin

-Ocean-blue eyes (Fits with her name!)

-Kanji for Ocean on her belly button piercing

-Wasn't included in this chapter, but her nails are painted blue (Yes, like the ocean)

-Has a host of different weapons at her place (this is a bit of a spoiler), like the katana, tanto, folding iron war fan, chakram, shuriken, kunai, and a bunch of other stuff any Yandere, murderous ex girlfriend would have

-Does boob size matter? They're pretty average, I imagine  :hmm:

-Despite her personality, she dresses like a sweet girly girl, hence the skirt in the first part. Skirts, spring dresses, frilly stuff.

That's all I've got on her for now  8) This story is a huge work-in-progress

Offline Manimal

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2016, 02:01:31 PM »
I pictured her with long black hair and straight bangs! But alright dude I will draw her and maybe some of the other characters. I'll post it in my gallery when I'm done (and if it works out...) so keep on eye out for that.

Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2016, 08:41:01 PM »
Oh my god, I don't know what I'm doing anymore  :(

Day 2: My Ex Girlfriend Shot Me With a Sniper Rifle

Spoiler
(Last night was my first night back in Kyoto. Despite all the trouble I got into in just that one night, it really did make me feel like home. Still, I hope I don't forget my purpose. There's someone here that I'm dying to see. Maybe I should take some time to get settled in, since Isabella called an airstrike on my house! Yeah, I guess that sounds alright. Okay, Osamu. Time to get up, big boy.)

Osamu woke up alone in Yoko's bed, his head throbbing from the events of the night before. The cool, morning sun radiated through Yoko's silky, red curtains, converting its light into a dreamy, crimson aura that gently veiled everything in the room.



*ROUGE*



(All things considered, Yoko's bed is really comfortable. I actually slept like a log...despite being molested...)

Osamu: Yoko? You out there?

Osamu opened the door and ventured out of the room. Only now did he realize how large Yoko's house was. It was certainly better than the little house he had...before it was blown up. He proceeded downstairs, fluffing out his frizzy bed hair, and landed right into the kitchen, where he could see Yoko preparing a meal. She kept her hair tied and wore her shirt from last night over and a pair of underwear.

(Oh baby, what a beautiful kitchen! Seasoning racks! Granite counter-tops! Polished wooden cabinets! Look at that knife collection, sharpened to perfection for clean, even cutting! Am I in kitchen utensil heaven?! Ooo! And look at that stainless steal fridge! It's spotless!)

Osamu: Umm, good morning.

Yoko smiled and turned her head around.

Yoko: Good morning, Osa! Sleep well?

Osamu: Yeah, I did actually. I...don't really remember you living in a house like this when we first went out...

Yoko: Yeah, well, a lot of things change in four years, right? My father passed away while you were gone, and he left my mother and I a lump sum of money.

(I missed something like that in my absence?)

Osamu: He passed?! I knew he was sick, but...I thought...

Yoko: Yeah, don't worry about it. I've already cried like a baby over it.

(Now I understand why she wanted to kill me at first.)

Osamu: So... you live here by yourself? Where did your mom go?

Yoko: I'm old enough to take care of myself, so we went our separate ways after Dad died. Last I heard, she moved somewhere in Hokkaido.

Osamu: Well, at least it's nice and peaceful there.

(I can't believe Yoko went through all of that after I left. Damn it, I should've at least said goodbye...)

Yoko: Did you want some food? I've got some cold somen here.

Osamu: Really? I'd love to, but I should really get going...

Yoko: Going?!

Her facade of politesse intanstly shattered as her uncontrollable, wild anger possessed her. Yoko threw her knife just past Osamu's cheek, striking it into the wall.

(Holy crap, is she strong!)

Yoko: Osamu...it is rude to refuse something your host wants to give you. It is especially rude to excuse yourself out of their home so carelessly. Where did your respect go?

Osamu: Whoops, you're right, Yoko! My bad! I was being stupid, yeah! You have my sincerest apologies! Please forgive me!

(God I hope she doesn't kill me!)

Yoko: Just so you know, the only way you will ever leave this place is with me. Either we go on dates, or our bloodied bodies are collected and bagged by a crime scene clean up crew!

(Totally not a psychopath...)

Yoko: Food's ready darling!

(I can't believe how quickly her personality changes...)

Osamu and Yoko sat together as the kitchen's center counter that doubled as a sort of dinner table, the former on the verge of soiling his pants.

(I wonder if I'll soil myself or sweat myself to death first....)

Yoko: Thank you for this meal.

Osamu: Thank you for this meal.

Osamu dug into the cold somen, served with an ice cube. It was a perfect dish for the summer heat, and not surprisingly, it tasted really good.

(I should've known. If she's been living by herself this whole time, her cooking is bound to be good. She really has changed since then)

Yoko let down her hair and smiled at Osamu.

Yoko: Is it good? I made it with all of my love for you.

Osamu: I-I-It's really good! As expected of someone as independent as you!

Yoko: Really?! Yes! I'm so happy! Let me know if you want seconds!

(Ah, the sun is so bright today. The sun looks so beautiful on her face. Especially that red dot. Wait, red dot?!?)

As those two lovebirds ate their breakfast togehter, a vengeful Isabella laid down on a nearby rooftop, armed with a hot pink Dragunov sniper rifle fitted with a laser sight attachment to its side, and stabilized with a bipod. Happiness, for her, was a warm gun. It was fair to say that Osamu was sweating bullets.

Osamu: Uhh, Yoko!

Yoko: Yes, love?

Osamu: Let's take a bath together!

(Of all things, why the hell did I just say that?!)

Yoko: A bath? Okay, can it wait until we're done eating?

(No good! If I don't hurry, Yoko will get shot!)

Osamu tackled Yoko onto the ground just before Isabella pulled the trigger and shattered the window with her shot. Yoko immediately knew that it was that accursed, blonde, snivelling, little harlot known as Isabella that threatened to ruin her morning with the love of her life.

Yoko: It's her again! That bitch! Trying to kill me in a bowling alley is one thing, but damaging private property is a whole different kind of offense, especially when my husband is with me!

(Is there some sort of marriage form I filled out while I was unconscious?!)

Isabella: Damn it! Why are you protecting her?

Yoko: Osa, thank you for protecting me, but I need you to move.

Osamu: What the hell are you going to do?

Yoko: I'm going to grab my weapons, and then I'm going to cut her legs and arms off. After that, I'll sew up the wounds to stop the bleeding and leave only a little opening in the sutures so I can hang her from my ceiling and laugh at her as she slowly dies from hunger, dehydration, or infection! Then I'll feed her corpse to the vultures!

Osamu: Absolutely none of that is happening!

(I've got to stop this!)

Osamu: Wait here!

Yoko: Osamu!

Osamu ran through the house and barged out the front door, hoping to find Isabella perched on one of the rooftops. As soon as he stepped out, a loud, explosive bang overwhelmed his ears. His body went numb, and he was brought to the ground.

(I don't understand...what is this?! Why did I suddenly fall?)

Osamu guided his trembling hand to his stomach, realizing he was exsanguinating through a bullet wound above his belly button.

(Oh god, no! Please no! I can't die like this! Damn it, Izzy!)

Isabella: Damn! I thought Yoko would be the one to step out!

(Izzy, you idiot! Don't you check your targets before you pull the trigger?!)

Yoko: Osamu!

Before Yoko could get to him, Izanami abruptly appeared out of a vortex in front of Osamu and immediately rushing to his side. Her beautiful, white kimono, adorned with cherry blossom patterns on the back, wrinkled and folded as she knelt by his side.

(Izanami? How did she..)

Izanami: Osamu! What happened?! I suddenly felt your life start to drain!

Osamu: You can feel that?!

Izanami: Of course I can! I'm the goddess of death! Kiss me!

Izanami held Osamu up and pressed her lips against his. The sight of their locked lips caused both Yoko and Isabella to stop in their tracks, petrified in awe and boiling anger.

(The bleeding ceased...and I can't feel pain anymore!)

Osamu was able to stand by himself. The hole through his shirt revealed a small part of his abdomen that was covered in dry blood, but the wound was perfectly healed.

Yoko: I.Za.Na.Mi!

Izanami: What? I just saved his life! It's Isabella that almost killed him!

Yoko stepped outside and stared at Isabella from the front of the house. She stood frozen on the nearby rooftop, blushing and crying as she hugged her hot pink Dragunov like a child.

Yoko: For once, I agree with you.

And so the afternoon came. Yoko and Izanami brought Isabella into the house, where she bowed as they scolded her. Osamu had just taken a shower and had to wear one of Yoko's shirts.

Izanami: What do you have to say for yourself?!

Isabella: I'm sorry! I thought it was you, Yoko!

Yoko's eye twitched in anger.

Yoko: It would be a real shame if you were to never come out of this house alive! Maybe we should start by ripping off your fingernails and plying out your teeth! Would you like that?! Maybe my crawlspace would make a nice grave for you!

Isabella: Y-you wouldn't!

Yoko suddenly grabbed Isabella by her cheeks and kissed her, deeply and profoundly, as if the two were in love. The seemingly random move left Izanami speechless.

Isabella: W-w-what the hell was that?!

Yoko: I can tell exactly what kind of person someone is by kissing them. Isabella Bailey, born in the state of California, loves sushi and hates veggie pizza, has a collection of Yaoi manga under her bed, prefers Maybelline to Covergirl, wears frilly panties just for the fun of it, perfectly memorized Hiragana and Katakana but still has no idea what kanji Osamu uses for his name, 18 years, 4 months, 28 days, 17 hours, and 4 minutes old, always breaks the yolk when she tries to make fried eggs, scared of insects, has a tough exterior but is really a dimwitted fool who uses too much force and realizes it too late, excellent at mathematics, especially in polynomials and complex equations, and dries with pink towels after taking a shower!




*SHOW OFF*




Izanami: A-amazing! You can seriously do that?!

Yoko: Well? Did I get that right?

Isabella: This is so embarrassing! Just kill me already!

Izanami: Not until you apologize to Osamu!

(I thought I heard noise downstairs. Turns out they invited her in so she can apologize. Lo and behold, Isabella now bows before me.)

Isabella: Osamu! I'm so sorry for sniping you in the stomach and calling an airstrike on your house! Just so you know, I had also arranged for a SEAL team to conduct an operation to kidnap you, but I cancelled that as well!

Osamu: Stop using your connections to burn down the order of this country!

Izanami: Please, as much as she's done, go easy on her. I can tell that she really does feel remorse for her actions.

Osamu: Fine. I forgive you, Isabella.

Yoko: Now that you've apologized, you can go home.

Isabella: Hah....about that...

(Oh man, here it comes...)

Isabella: See, I spent a lot more money than I should have on those military services, so...

Yoko: You racked up a large debt and now your life is in danger because you owe vicious mercenary groups money?

Isabella: Haha...yep...

Yoko: Yeah. Get out.

Isabella: You can't just kick me out on the street like a cat you don't want anymore!

Yoko: Of course I can. It's my house. Unless you'd be willing to lend me your spine to make a nice necklace out of, you have no value in this household.

Izanami: Now, now, Yoko. I know Isabella has done some horrible deeds today, but it's not right to turn away someone without a home. Besides, this could be an opportunity for her to pay back what she caused in damages.

Yoko: Hmm....Well, you did shoot my husband, and you also broke a window. Letting you go now would just be letting you off the hook...fine. You can stay here. But if you don't want to die, you will wash my back every time I bathe, you will handle the dishes and most of the housework, and for every time you so much as glance at Osamu...I will kill you. Slowly. With a spoon.

Isabella: F-fine...

Yoko: Oh, really? That's fine to you? My, my, don't tell me you LIKE to be abused.

Isabella: That's not true! I was just agreeing to the terms you witch!

(Actually, as her ex, I can tell you personally that it really is true. Isabella may be a brash girl, but that sense of power is really only due to the fact that her father is influential. Take that away, and she's just like most other girls.)

Osamu: Isabella, there are dishes to wash from the meal Yoko made earlier. You should go ahead and do them.

You could almost hear a water drop as Yoko's face blushed and her eyes widened. Almost...

Yoko: Osamu! That's so manly of you, telling a woman to piss off and do the dishes!

Isabella: O-okay! If you say so, Osa!

Isabella went right to work, leaving Osamu in the room with Yoko and Izanami.

Osamu: Izanami, there's something I want to ask you. In private.

Yoko: I'm not included?

(There are those sweet puppy eyes again...)

Osamu: Sorry, Yoko. Just wait outside for a bit.

Yoko: Fine. Only because I love you. Don't touch him while I'm gone.

Izanami: No promises.

(I see that rivalry isn't going away any time soon...)

Yoko left the room and shut the door.

Izanami: What is it?

Osamu: I came back to Kyoto, because there was someone I wanted to see.

Izanami: Hmm? Who?

Osamu: Aika's mom passed away shortly before I left, but I didn't get to burn any incense for her. I originally came here because I wanted to visit her grave and give my condolences to Aika. Maybe we could even be friends again. But then, I also learned that Yoko's father passed away after I left. I really did leave at a horrible time, didn't I? And I'm sure that you were lonely because of my absence. No offense, but it's not like you can just walk into any public establishment and be friends with anyone.

Izanami: No offense taken. If there's one thing that hasn't changed about you, it's that you're too sweet for your own good. You came all this way just to visit some graves and console a past love. That's noble, Osa.

Osamu: Thanks. I really needed that after the crazy things I've been through already.

Though Izanami looked like a dead girl, she still had an absolutely precious smile, one that made roses bloom in Osamu's chest.

Izanami: Ah, I see why you told me this. You want me to point you to the grave?

Osamu: Yeah, if you can do that for me, that would be great. You are the goddess of death and creation after all. It's getting late, so let's go out tomorrow and get it done. Is that okay?

Izanami: Works for me Osa!

Osamu: I appreciate it. You know, I really missed you too, Izanami. I'm sorry for just leaving so suddenly, especially after everything you did for me.

Izanami patted Osamu's head, her soft smile holding no grudges against him.

Izanami: You made the choice you felt was best for you. As someone who loves you, how can I argue against that? It's alright. You don't have to apologize.

(Doing this, even though they all tried to kill me....well, except for Izanami....)

The moon's light dominated the night sky asIsabella was given her own room. Osamu wanted to sleep in his own room and bed as well but...

Yoko: Sleep in your own bed? Sure, I can arrange that...if you want to wake up and find a knife plunged into your heart!

So, that was out of the question.

(Thankfully, there's no molestation this time. She's sleeping, but I really want to grab some mochi! Quietly, Osamu. Quietly!)

Osamu could be quite light on his feet, and was able to sneak out of the house by himself. The convenience store wasn't too far away. It'd be nice to grab some snacks and get a good walk in as well. However, on the way there, Osamu heard music coming from underneath the bridge built over the river. Following the tune that caressed his ears, he stepped off of the sidewalk and walked down the slope. When he got under the bridge, he saw Aika sitting on the grass, playing the guitar. She only had her cellphone flashlight to see.

(I see. When your mom passed, you did this to cope. I'm really sorry, Aika.)

Aika was always a mystifying woman, one that was so fascinating to watch because you could never truly decipher what was going on in her head. All you could do was wonder and dream, and so, people's perception of her was based on those dreamy falsehoods, like travelers disillusioned by a siren's song.

Osamu: Uhh, hey Aika.

Aika was startled by Osamu's appearance and set aside her guitar. No matter what, she always wore a leather jacket when she went out.

Aika: What do you want?

Osamu: Can I sit next to you?

Aika: What if I say no?

Osamu: I guess I won't mind. You don't have to if you don't want to.

Aika: Then go away. I don't ever want to see you again.

Osamu: I understand. I came because I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for your loss. I mean, I know it's 4 years late, but...I just hope you'll forgive me.

Aika: My loss? Oh...you mean her.

Osamu: That's right.

Aika: Why would you care? You left so easily and didn't say anything to anyone. Did you date anyone else in that time?

Osamu: I met a few girls, sure. It never quite worked out.

(I've already figured out by now that I'm no good with women, but Aika can be quite the hurdle)

Osamu: You still play guitar?

Aika hesitated for a moment.

Aika: Yeah.

Osamu: Get into any new genres?

Aika: Jazz and Classical.

Osamu: Wow, the complicated stuff, huh? How about singing?

Aika stood up as soon as the word "singing" came out of his mouth.

Aika: Y-you know that I'm no good at singing! I'm only good on guitar, piano, and the koto.

Osamu: Okay, okay. Fair enough. But I do hope to hear you sing some day, Aika. How about it?

Aika: It's not like I owe you any promises.

(Stubborn as always.)

Osamu: If I can't sit with you, can I sit behind you?

Aika: What a stupid question. Fine...but you have to sit 5 meters behind me.

(What kind of command is that?)

Osamu: Alright. I'll compromise.

Aika sat by the water, continuing her melancholy instrumental as Osamu sat on the grassy slope behind her. She never looked back at him, not even once.

After a short while, the music came to a stop, and Aika put aside her guitar. Osamu was unable to see that Aika had withdrawn a tightly folded piece of paper from her jacket. Slowly, with trembling hands and cloudy eyes, Aika unfolded that small piece of notebook paper, reading the only line written on it to herself.

"Confront Osamu".

Aika: I wonder...if I can cross this out now...

(She's still like that too, huh? Still hiding away whenever she's sad. She thinks I don't know that she's crying right now. I have to make everything right while I still can. Just hang on until tomorrow, Love Song. It may be too late, but I'm going to give my proper thanks to the both of you.)

Meanwhile, back at home...

Yoko: He's not here?! That sneaky little man-whore! I'll be sure to cut off his feet next time!

(If only I had known, that even when you try to make things right, there's always going to be that one girl who tries to kill you...)

End of Day 2

Sounds good Manimal! Bangs would probably look good on her, actually. I might work that into the story now that you mention it.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2017, 06:58:07 PM by OhGodHelpMe »

Offline Operative13

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2016, 12:43:52 AM »
Schiesse, it's only been a day and you already have the 2nd chapter out!?  :confused:

This gonna be 'gud  8)

I noticed you been giving days to these pieces. Are you perhaps planning to go a month's worth of this? Or perhaps... all 365 days~!  :dance:
“To give of oneself is the noblest of all acts.”

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Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2016, 02:30:45 AM »
Things progressed quite quickly and I'm making a one shot manga out of the 1st chapter with someone from here

Pretty cool for me since I literally only came up with this two nights ago and I didn't think anything would ever come of it  :clapping:

Offline HydroZephyr

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2016, 05:51:53 AM »
Dude the story is awesome. The first two days you put up are amazing~.
Honestly though Yandere FTW
Oh and good luck on the rest, cant wait for its completion  :clapping:
Aim high, otherwise what is the point in trying?

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2016, 04:16:24 PM »
Another story from oghm! I am so ready for this haha. Really enjoyed your last story, so will also definitely be reading this one.



Chapter 1
1. My name is Osamu Ashikaga. I don't know what time it is, and I don't know where I am. When I opened my eyes, I was tied to a chair in some abandoned bowling alley, and the only person there....was my ex girlfriend. She's quite the beauty if you ask me. She had me falling in love with her blue eyes and red hair years ago. She always gave you this sweet look, like the kind of look your mother gives to you. However...these days...she's nothing but a rotten, violent psychopath!)

- That's one hilarious and great beginning there. As always you're really good at putting the hooks in there.

2. Osamu's ex, Yoko Akiyama, pressed the heel of her stiletto against Osamu's chest and pointed a katana at his face. The only light in the room was an electric lantern she brought with her. Her raised leg meant that Osamu caught a glimpse of her panties, since she was wearing a skirt. She wore a denim vest and a white shirt with the kanji for "Love" printed on it.

- That scene fits so perfectly in my mind. I imagine an anime starting like this so clearly and I want it!

3. Yoko: You're still as handsome as ever. It's too bad you're nothing but a filthy insect. Where would you like me to cut first? Your face? Your biceps? How about your-

- Yes please!

- I mean not that last bit!

- I wish I had a yandere after me



4. Yoko: Osa, you sweetheart! You really did miss me all this time?

- Hahaha.

5. Yoko: Stripping! I want to make love, right here and now!

(Do you see why I left yet?!?)

- No. Shut up Osamu I'm busy reading a story here.

6. Yoko: I want you to be rough with me tonight. Even if I tell you it hurts and beg you to stop, just keep going.

(M-maybe this situation isn't all that bad...)

- You think!?

7. Out from the smoke came Isabella Bailey, an American girl with blonde hair decorated with metal beads, blue eyes, and quite the nice rack. Her nails were each painted red, white and blue, in honor of her home country.

- Haha, this story seems like something Gainax would come up with too. It's so random, but I don't care.

8. Yoko took Osamu into an alleyway, where they can hide from Isabella's army of mercenaries.

* they could

9. Yoko: Oh, did you want to have a lick before I put these back on?

- Eh.

10. Out from the darkness of the alleyway came a beautiful girl with black hair, pale skin, and lips stricken with cyanosis. Indeed, she was dead. More specifically, she was a zombie. She wore a summer dress with cherry blossoms on it, and her eyes were a bright red.


11.

Yoko: You?! *censored*ai!

- You what?

12. *Hint: *censored*ai means "Dead Body" in Japanese)*

- Ah

13. Izanami: I-is that true, Osamu: Do you still love Yoko?

- Poor Izanami

14. (Crap, if I say I don't she'll cut my balls off! If I say I do, Izanami will feel terrible! I really don't want a deity to be mad at me! What do I do?! Maybe I should just kill myself!)

- Wait calling her a goddess is not just a compliment? She's legitimately a goddess? Wow.

15. Yoko: Well, Osamu? You DO love me right? Tell her. Tell her you love me, we're getting married soon, and we're going to have 24 babies.

Osamu: For god's sake, 24?!? Are we starting a clan?!

- I laughed out loud at that one.

16.
Voice: Let him go!

(You've got to be kidding me...Aika?!)

- And they just keep on coming.

- Feels like a horrible hilarious reverse Scott Pilgrim. Such a great concept

17. Aika stood in the alleyway, her long, brown, wavy hair flowing in the wind. she wore a floral t-shirt with a leather jacket over it. Her brown eyes matched her hair, and her black, torn jeans matched her jacket. The shirt was a little too short and didn't cover her belly button.

- Aika is my waifu.  Currently competing with Yoko because Yoko is yandere and yandere is life.


18. Aika: Izanami, let him go! I still owe him a fist up the ass for breaking my heart!

- What.

19. Aika: I don't give a sh*t who he loves! He's dead! I'm gonna shove your head into your ass so hard it opens a supermassive black hole! Prepare to die, Osamu!

- I suppose the vulgarity thing is more the narrators' fault than the characters >...<. Like how Tarantino has gratious amounts of blood in his movies with little to no reason the same happens in yours! You're the Tarantino of vulgarity! I shall not comment on it again!


20.
Yoko: Keep staring at him lovingly like that, and I'll gouge your eyes out.

Aika: You don't scare me, bitch!

Izanami: I want a handkerchief too...

Isabella: Ah-hah! Found you!

(There she is again! And she brought her troops with her!)

- While the beginning and the introduction of the characters is hilarious, I feel something needs to happen next. The shenanigans can only go so long before the story stagnates.

21. (So this is how I'm going to die, gunned down in the streets like some animal. I always wished I'd die in a sea of mochi, or maybe in a sea of boobs. Here I come, Death. Embrace me gently.)

- I don't understand how mochi is any comparision to the other option...

22. Merc: Alright, pack it up folks! This is all the time we got paid for. Have your father wire the money whenever he can.

The mercenaries all dispersed and headed back home, leaving Isabella by herself.

- Hilarious. It's amazing that the mercs were willing to take on this job despite the actual things it concerns.

23.
Osamu: Husband?!

Izanami: You don't want to get married?

- Whoa, future tense marriage proposal. It's amazing how she can act like the one being wronged. She's asking 'you don't want to get married' as though it was already on the table!

24.
Osamu: Izzy! Did you call an airstrike on my house?!

Isabella: I'm sorry! He came late!

Osamu: That's not the problem here!

Fox 1-9: Isabella, this is Fox One Niner, good effect on target. The building is completely destroyed. Returning to base, over and out.

- Wow, just wow.

25. (Dear god, was I molested while I was unconscious?!)

Osamu: Umm..did we...

Yoko: No "we". You were still knocked out. Stop talking now, we should sleep.

(I don't know whether to be aroused or to call the police...but I guess...this is how my first night back starts, huh? This is going to be one hell of a ride..)

- Wow. Just wow. I have no words.



Chapter 2

1. Osamu: He passed?!

Yoko: Yeah, don't worry about it. I've already cried like a baby over it.

(Now I understand why she wanted to kill me at first)

- Wow.

2. Yoko: Did you want some food? I've got some cold somen here.

- don't even know what somen is haha.

3.
Yoko threw her knife just past Osamu's cheek, striking it into the wall.

(Holy crap, is she strong! Why did I say that?!)

- The yandere-ing begins. I was wondering how things were so peaceful for so long.

4. Yoko: Just so you know, the only way you will ever leave this place is with me. Either we go on dates, or our bloodied bodies are collected and bagged by a crime scene clean up crew!

(This is exactly why I left!)

- My word. My word.

5. Yoko: Food's ready darling!

(I can't believe how quickly her personality changes...)

- Because Yandere's are just so... Full of life! You're so lucky you bastard.

6. Yoko: Thank you for this meal.

Osamu: Thank you for this meal.

-  The tension  is Death Note level.


7.
Yoko: Yes, love?

Osamu: Let's take a bath together!

- My my my.


8. (Is there some sort of marriage form I filled in while I was unconscious?!)

- Izanami seems to think so.

9.
Yoko: I'm going to grab my weapons, and then I'm going to cut her legs and arms off. After that, I'll sew up the wounds to stop the bleeding and leave only a little opening in the sutures so I can hang her from my ceiling and laugh at her as she slowly dies from hunger, dehydration, or infection, and then I'll feed her corpse to the vultures!

Osamu: Absolutely none of that is happening!

- Wow. I wonder why the exes didn't attack eachother during his absence, or at least come to form some alliance or something.

10.
Before Yoko could get to him, Izanami appeared out of a vortex in front of Osamu and immediately rushed to his side. She was dressed in a beautiful white kimono with cherry blossom patterns on it.

- Supernatural being confirmed.

11.
Izanami: Osamu! What happened?! I suddenly felt your life start to drain!

Osamu: You can feel that?!

Izanami: Of course I can! I'm the goddess of death! Kiss me!

- Wow.

12.
Yoko grabbed Isabella by her cheeks and kissed her. The seemingly random move left Izanami speechless.

Isabella: W-w-what the hell was that?!

- Fanservice *nosebleed* Fanservice


13.

Yoko: I can tell exactly what kind of person someone is by kissing them. Isabella Bailey, born in the state of California, loves sushi and hates veggie pizza, has a collection of Yaoi manga under her bed, prefers Maybelline to Covergirl, wears frilly panties just for the fun of it, perfectly memorized Hiragana and Katakana but still has no idea what kanji Osamu uses for his name, 18 years, 4 months, 28 days, 17 hours, and 4 minutes old, always breaks the yolk when she tries to make fried egg, scared of insects, has a tough exterior but is really a dimwitted fool who uses too much force and realizes it too late, excellent at mathematics, especially in polynomials and complex equations, and dries with pink towels after taking a shower!

- What in the world!? That is some impressive stuff right there.

14. Isabella: Osamu! I'm so sorry for sniping you in the stomach and calling an airstrike on your house! Just so you know, I had also arranged for SEAL team to conduct an operation to kidnap you, but I cancelled that as well!

- Now Isabella is quite impressive. Anyone willing to go as far as that is worth something.

15. Osamu: Stop using your connections to burn down the order of this country!

Izanami: Being a god, I can tell that she really does feel remorse for her actions.

Osamu: Fine. I forgive you, Isabella.

- Man, how am I even accepting this character base. Serious props on this front.

16. Yoko: You racked up a large debt and now your life is in danger because you owe vicious mercenary groups money?

Isabella: Haha...yep...

- I knew it.

17. Yoko: Of course I can. It's my house. Unless you'd be willing to lend me your spine to make a nice necklace out of.

- Wow Yoko. Just wow.

18. Yoko: Oh, really? My, my, don't tell me you LIKE to be abused, my little submissive.

- my little submissive what?

19. (Actually, as her ex, I can tell you personally that it really is true. Isabella may be a brash girl, but that sense of power is really only due to the fact that her father is influential. Take that away, and she's just like most other girls.)

- I'm impressed in the first place at the dating base you have man. Teach me your skills, Osamu. A harem king if there ever was one.



20.
Izanami: No offense taken. If there's one thing that hasn't changed about you, it's that
you're too sweet for your own good. You came all this way just to visit some graves and console a past love. That's nole, Osa.

*noble

- I should say, the centers of harems are already on my blacklist by default. I expect a real flat character or someone depending on the colour of the girls in the harem, but Osamu seems really interesting. It's amazing how you can blend characters like this.

21. Though Izanami looked like a dead girl, she still has an absolutely precious smile.

- What the hell fetish are you trying to awaken in me darned narrator! I avoided that zombie anime for several reasons!

22.
Osamu: Yeah, if you can do that for me, that would be great. You are the goddess of death and creation after all. It's getting late, so let's go out tomorrow and get it done. Is that okay?

- Dude dated a goddess of death. There is no higher game than that.

23.
Yoko: Sleep in your own bed? Sure, I can arrange that...if you want to wake up and find a knife plunged into your heart!

So, that was out of the question.

- Wow, just wow.... I love Yandere! The commitment man! *cough* I mean how terrible. Crazy Yoko



24. (Thankfully, there's no molestation this time. She's sleeping, but I really want to grab some mochi! Quietly, Osamu. Quietly!)

- Dude really loves his mochi.

25. Aika was startled by Osamu's appearance and set aside her guitar. No matter what, she always wore a leather jacket when she went out.

- Aika chaaan

26. (I've already figured out by now that I'm no good with women, but Aika can be quite the hurdle)

- Define 'no good'

27.
Aika: Y-you know that I'm no good at singing! I'm only good on guitar, piano, and the koto.

- Hm, what is the koto.

28.
Aika: What a stupid question...fine...but you have to sit 5 meters behind me.

(What kind of command is that?)

Osamu: Alright. I'll compromise.

- Haha

29. (She's still like that too, huh? Still hiding away whenever she's sad. She thinks I don't know that she's crying right now. I have to make everything right while I still can. Just hang on until tomorrow, Love Song. It may be too late, but I'm going to give my proper thanks to the both of you.)

- Touching.

29.

Meanwhile, back at home...

Yoko: He's not here?! I'll cut his balls off with a dull blade!

(If only I had known, that even when you try to make things right, there's always going to be that one girl who tries to kill you...)

- Terrifying. A great juxtaposition
 

General Thoughts
What can I say? I must clap hands. You've done it again, and it's quite clear you're in your element with comedy and character building in stories. And don't think I don't see the pointers to music and food in here! It all works so well. What should be a cliche cast of characters actually turns out to be interesting in its own right. You strike such a good balance between the craziness and the meat of the story that I can't help but like it. Slapstick comedies always fall flat for me when they go on endlessly without any actual content to support them, but I already have so many questions that I'm hooked into the story. I mean, other than the immediate things that have happened there's the question of 'how did he meet all this girls and when? Were they always like this or did Osamu bring out the craziness in them?' So much potential for exploration here.

Really nicely done. There are some instances where present tense is used (Izanami smiling.) and well there's that thing which I promised I won't comment on again, but at least it's a bit toned down.


And you're having a one shot made from the first chapter? Awesome! That is well deserved methinks. In fact, this would work as a manga quite well. Honestly, it would be an anime I'd watch for sure too. [

Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2016, 04:49:30 PM »
Thanks for reading  :dance: I'm definitely gonna continue this one then. I expect it to be crazy, funny, and hopefully touching