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Author Topic: Artifact  (Read 3547 times)

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Offline Hope4Future

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Artifact
« on: December 22, 2015, 03:49:40 AM »
this is one of my current projects that I've been working on for a while and now I finally have the opportunity to start writing the chapters. this story takes place in the modern day world, after the one year anniversary of a strange phenomenon that caused a massive explosion in the sky. during that time, people have stumbled upon these strange relics that grant unique abilities to whoever wears/holds them; commonly known as 'Artifacts.'

Genres: action, (comedy), drama, (sci-fi), super power

Summary:
a college student, whose had lived a nearly perfect life, encounters a mysterious individual who saved him from being mugged by using a new ability not known to humanity. after discovering his strange ability, by using a gauntlet with silver material and a weird gem on it that the stranger referred to as an 'Artifact,' he later confronts the stranger and uses an Artifact of his own to defend him against another Artifact user. the two of them then work together and form a team that would collect these Artifacts in order to protect humanity. each Artifact, with its own individual power and abilities, grants the person whoever wields them certain supernatural powers as if it were their own abilities. nevertheless, several people who also use these Artifacts eventually become so greedy by their own power that they would crave more ... which may include some of our newly found heroes.


Characters: (may contain spoilers)
(some characters might not have names yet)

1) John (“Johnny”)
age: (20)
sex: male
role: primary protagonist. fights for justice.
personality traits: overconfident, sense of justice, practical
artifact: super strength - chest piece
additional facts: believes that the Artifacts would make himself, as well as his allies, into superheroes to fight crime.

2) Kalvin
age: (24?)
sex: male
role: primary protagonist. created a team of Artifact users to collect Artifacts as well as defeat his rivals; that also have Artifacts. fights for himself.
personality traits: stubborn, independent, fierce
artifact: rock manipulation - right gauntlet
additional facts: lived in the slums before Judgment Day. offend prefers to do things his own way.

3) Jessie
age: (23?)
sex: female
role: addition protagonist. fights to expose the governments corruption, who have been studying the Artifacts and their abilities, because she believes that they would use them as part of a conspiracy theory.
personality traits: impulsive, aggressive, independent
artifact: fire creation - right glove
additional facts: very commonly argues with Kalvin when he questions her judgment.

4) Melissa
age: (20)
sex: female
role: additional protagonist. John's girlfriend. mainly joined the team to protect him from any danger he might get into.
personality traits: shy, caring, fearful
artifact: force field - red ring (it does more but is mainly used to create force fields; it also creates blasts and waves of plasma)
additional facts: never actually fights throughout the series unless John was in some sort of danger (if so, only on occasions depending on the situation).

7) Daniel (“Danny”)
age: (?)
sex: male
role: primary antagonist.
personality traits: smart, manipulative, diplomatic
artifact: unknown
additional facts:

8 ) Nickname: Calypso (her real name is unknown)
age: (?)
sex: female
role: secondary antagonist. a fellow team member of Daniel's team; their spy.
personality traits: very secretive
artifact: camouflage/disguise - mask
additional facts: she has never once taken off her mask in public.

10) Serenity
age: (?)
sex: female
role: supporting antagonist. a fellow team member in Daniel's team.
personality traits: cold-hearted
artifact: ice creation - left glove
additional facts: constantly tries to prove to others how powerful she is. often attempts to get the fire glove as well to use their combined power; but since Jessie stole it first, she intends to kill her because of that alone.

11) Michael (“Mike”)
age: (?)
sex: male
role: supporting antagonist. a fellow team member in Daniel's team.
personality traits: ?
artifact: water manipulation - (left gauntlet)
additional facts: seeks revenge towards Kalvin.

12) William
age: (?)
sex: male
role: supporting antagonist. a fellow team member in Daniel's team.
personality traits: ?
artifact: electricity - shock collar
additional facts: ?


Artifact Summary:
they are a new form of technology that allows whoever wears or holds them to grant extraordinary powers and abilities, but this technology is far different than the technology currently existed. in this story, they were believed to be found at the slums after an event known as 'Judgment Day' occurred, that was caused by a strange explosion in the sky and falling debris, they were found amongst the debris with no origin of their existence. each Artifact is made out a strange silver metal that is not familiar with the current metals and with it contains a gem that holds their power. lastly, their metal shape changes to match the users size and fit perfectly.


I mainly need help coming up with new Artifact powers/abilities and other pieces (they are the objects made from the strange material that can be worn or held in order to wield their given abilities), if any new ideas besides the ones on the list below or even in addition to their current abilities I would greatly appreciate it. (Update: actually, i think i got enough power ideas for now, what i really need are ideas for the pieces; ex: glove, ring, staff, mirror, lantern, etc)

Artifact List of Powers and Pieces:
super strength - chest piece

rock manipulation - right gauntlet

fire creation - right glove

force field (w/ plasma involved; could use more examples though) - red ring

super speed - boots

flight - back piece (expands and transforms into silver wings)

absorbs energy like rays and similar sources (ex: fire, electricity, laser, etc.) and can destroy other Artifacts (Artifacts can only be destroyed by this and no other objects; its a strong metal that isn't like other metals) - sword

telekinesis - helmet

ice creation - left glove

time travel (only time, not space) - watch

grants and steals life source - green ring

invisibility, camouflage, and disguise - mask

electricity creation - neck piece/shock collar

resistance/impenetrable - shield (not even the sword can destroy this)

grow and shrinks self - full body armor suit

sonic/high frequency noise - mouth piece

absorbing and enhancing rage/anger - amulet/necklace

darkness; particularly absorbing peoples shadows and manipulating them in a form of cloudy darkness as well as making themselves stronger based on how much they absorb - cape/cloak

x-ray vision (could also detect powerful sources, including Artifacts) - glasses

controls people by absorbing their souls and using them to make the user more powerful - scythe

manipulate water - (left gauntlet)

predicting the future and past events - (globe?)

negation of energy sources within its blast range for a short time - a small sphere; slightly smaller baseball size

persuasion - book

laser - ?

love manipulation - ?

controlling and communicating with animals; possibly animal like characteristics (not planning on having any of those she-cat clichés but if so then only for a short time) - ?

illusion/hallucination - coin

manipulating metal; similar to the rock but less consistent - ?

teleportation - ?

intelligence - ?

duplication; creates copies of the user that will be weak depending on the number of copies - ?

energy transfer; converts energy and strength to another target by draining from themselves or gaining energy by draining from the target - (telescope?)

telepathy; mind reading and communication within the mind involving the user - ?

manipulate wind and air - ?

improved hearing - ?

improved sense of smell - ?

manipulate wood - ?

fear (enhancer or manipulator) - ?

sadness (enhancer) - ?

happiness (enhancer) - ?

(plant manipulation) - ?

(copying) - ?

(super agility) - ?

(causes objects to detonate by touch) - ?

(generates a blinding light) - ?

(transformation?) - ?

(improved taste?) - ?

(infinite chain) - chain (within a small cylinder)





Main Story
Chapter 1: First Impressions; Part 1
[Time: 3:49]
[Location: later referred to as the slums; in the center of the town]
[Day: March 31; later referred to as Judgment Day]
[it shows the town, where everyone there was attending to their normal routine. although the sky was mostly clear, the clouds soon became dark and the wind increased. more and more, as the clouds had gotten darker, the wind became very rapid. the people began to notice the strange weather as thunder erupted. suddenly, a loud explosion with a flash of light occurred, then more explosions erupted within the clouds but nobody could see where it was coming from. suddenly, a massive explosion went off in the sky that cleared the clouds instantly and left smoke in its place. soon after the explosion, large debris began to fall within the town and everyone scattered quickly to avoid getting hit. the debris landed on the buildings and the cars, as well as unsuspecting people running in the streets. one by one, the people within the town were being crushed by the debris. everybody scattered to find shelter to avoid getting it while others did not, which led to their demise. as several people ran toward the direction where the town statue was at, it was soon hit by a blast from the sky that emitted light on its impacted and left a large crater in its place. within the crater, there appeared to be a faint source of light in the center of the crater ... it was a silver sword, its blade was glowing]

[Exactly one year later after judgment day]

[Location: just outside of John's apartment complex]
[John exits his apartment holding a couple of boxes with his cell phone next to his head]

   John - "... hey, Melissa. I just wanted to make sure if we're still good for today at 7 ... yes, I know you should be reminding me, but I got it covered this time ... yes, I do ... I’m serious! Listen, it’s almost 3 ..."

[Looks at his watch as he's talking; time: 3:49 but changes to 3:50]

   John - "I already set the reservation at our usual place, I have no classes today, I have no last-minute appointments, plenty of gas ..."

[Gets to his car and attempts to unlock the car with his hands full]

   John - "I put my parents number straight to voice mail ... just in case ... and I even avoided eating lunch at that restaurant nearby my apartment ... well that wasn't a fun day for me either ... I’m still waiting from the dry cleaner about that, but I’ll pick it up when they call."

[Gets inside of his car after putting the boxes in the back seat]

   John - "All I have to do is run a few errands and I’ll be at your front door by 7."

[He puts the phone on speaker and starts the car]

   Melissa [speaking on the phone] - "are you sure you’re not going to forget?"

   John - "babe, come on, have some faith in me. I have 3 hours to get a few simple errands finished, I think I can manage."

   Melissa - "I don’t know ..."

   John - "I promise I’ll be there, no excuses."

   Melissa - "You promise?"

   John - "Yes. It’s literally impossible to screw up any more than I already do."

   Melissa - "Can you blame me for assuming? Every time we plan a nice night out something comes up and you have some ridiculous excuse for it."

[John drives around while looking for a parking spot nearby a jewelry store]

   John - "I got to go now, but I’ll see you tonight?"

   Melissa - "You promise you won’t forget?"

   John - "I promise, no more excuses."

   Melissa - "Love you ..."

   John - "Love you too"

[The call ends]

   John (says to himself) - "... no more excuses ..."

[after a while of driving, John parks the car in a parking section not too far from the jewelry store. he walks to the store but John notices somebody suspicious nearby the store; wearing scrappy clothes with a baseball cap covering his face]

   John - "(He’s not going to mug me is he?)"

[as he passes the stranger walking into the store, he looks up at John and John turns away in response which made John nervous. John continues to look at the stranger outside after entering the store]

[As he walks up to the counter, someone greets him]

   (Employee) - "Hello sir, what can I help you with today?"

[John turns to the employee]

   John - "Huh ... uh yes I’m looking for an engagement ring ..."

   (Employee) - "Right over here."

[John looks through their selection]

   John - "Do you have any suggestions perhaps? I’m not sure which one to choose."

[He thinks about it for a minute but then gets a good look at John and grins a little]

   (Employee) - "... I think I have just the ring for you."

[The employee goes to the back. John looks out the window and notices that the stranger was peeking in but quickly turns away. John starts to panic]

   John - "(Oh no! He is going to mug me!)"

   (Employee) - "Here you go."

[John looks at It. its appears to be a red diamond ring with a very noticeable silver coating on the piece]

   John - "Uh, its red ... why is the gem red? Is it supposed to be red?"

   (Employee) - "No, but that's what makes it so special ... don't you want to get something special?"

   John - "Hmmm, I suppose but this is an engagement ring, right?"

   (Employee) - "Yes, that’s definitely an engagement ring."

   John - "Hmm … alright, how much?

   (Employee) - "About ... $20,000."

   John - "20?! That’s a bit much isn't it?"

   (Employee) - "It was marked down by 60%."

   John - "Really?"

   (Employee) - "That’s what makes it so special."

   John - "(I can afford it ... barely. I really don’t see what’s so ‘special’ about it … but I don't see why not.) Alright, I’ll take it."

   (Employee) - "Very good sir."

   John - "Well, thank you."

   (Employee) - "No, thank you."

[John walks out of the store toward his car down the street. the stranger notices him pass by with a grin on his face. the stranger starts to walk in John's direction. John notices the strangers reflection following him]

   John - "(That’s right! I forgot about him, he's going to try to mug me.)"

[John passes the parking area where his car is at and keeps walking]

   John - "(I’ll have to escape without him noticing.)"

[John turns a corner into an alley then immediately runs away but bumps into somebody and falls down]

   John - "Damn it, get out-"

[The larger fellow turns to John holding a gun in his hand]

   (Stranger) - "don't move! G-give me your wallet!"

   John - "(Crap! Just my luck.) Alright, let’s just take it easy ..."

[John hands his wallet to the stranger, who looks through it quickly. he looks up at John]

   (Stranger) - "Is this it? Empty your pockets!"

   John - "What?"

   (Stranger) - "I’ll shoot you! I swear to god I will! Now empty your pockets!"

   John - "Ok, ok. (Don’t give up the ring damn it, I won’t be able to get my money back ... well, then again I might die-)"

   (Stranger) - "You there, don't move!"

   John - "I wasn't-"

   (Unknown) - "Move aside, kid."

[John slowly turns around and sees the stranger that was following him earlier, aka Kalvin]

   John - "(Oh crap! It’s him!)"

   (Stranger) - "Give me your wallet! I’ll shoot you too if you come any closer!"

[Kalvin lifts up his head and takes off his hat with his eyes glaring at the stranger]

   Kalvin - "... Am I supposed to be scared of you?"

   (Stranger) - "Don't test me! I will shoot you! Now empty your pockets!"

[The stranger notices Kalvin pulls out something of his own pocket slowly]

   (Stranger) - "Drop it! Don’t do anything stupid!"

   Kalvin - "What? This?"

[He reveals it being a small rock in his palm]

   Kalvin - "This is all I have."

[John looks at the rock in his hand in confusion]

   John - "(A rock? Why was he carrying a rock? What was he going to do with it?)"

[John then notices something shinning on Kalvin's right wrist, which is mostly covered up by his sleeve]

   Kalvin - "How about you drop that gun before somebody gets hurt."

   (Stranger) - "somebody will get hurt unless you do as I say! Now give me your-"

[Instantly, Kalvin levitated the rock and it hurled itself at the stranger's trigger finger and he dropped the gun while screaming in pain when the rock nearly crushed his finger]

   (Stranger) - "AAAHHHHH!!!"

[Kalvin then charges at him while pieces of rock/stone from the buildings and sidewalk start breaking off and collecting on Kalvin's right hand. the pieces then form together on his arm as a spike as he charges at him, he then slashes right through him in one swift strike; killing him instantly. John, after seeing the whole thing, panics a lot]

   John - "(what was that?! Did that seriously just happened? This guy is dangerous … I got to get out of here.) Umm, thanks for your help ... I’m just going to-"

[Kalvin turns to John]

   Kalvin - "Where do you think you’re going?"

[Kalvin glares at John and he panics. John then attempts to run away but then Kalvin slams his foot into the ground and a rock wall rose up right in front of John from the ground, then John turns to Kalvin while against the newly created wall. Kalvin takes out his glasses from his pocket with his other hand and hovers it over his eyes when looking at John]

   Kalvin - "Give me the ring."

   John [nervously says] - "(how did he know?) What ring?"

   Kalvin - "The one in your pocket ... the one you bought at the jewelry store."

[Kalvin puts the glasses back in his pocket]

   John - "(oh right, he followed you.) Oh, that ... well as much as I’d like to-"

   Kalvin - "you have 2 options: you can give me the ring and walk away ... or you refuse and die ... which is more important to you?"

[Kalvin walks closer to John. John takes out the ring from his pocket]

   John - "(Crap! I can't afford to buy a new ring but I can't just give in to his demands ... no matter how scary he looks.)"

[John looks at Kalvin's wrist again and notices that it has a similar silver like the ring does along with its own gem]

   John - "(Wait, is that how he did that weird rock trick? Does that mean this ring could also ...)"

[John then holds the ring near his finger, about to put it on]

   John - "Stop right there!"

[Kalvin pauses in confusion]

   John - "If you get any closer, I’ll put on this ring!"

   Kalvin [chuckling] - "What are you talking about?"

   John - "That thing on your wrist, that's what gives you those rock powers of yours doesn't it? If you really want this ring, it must have powers of its own … and if I were to wear it then I’ll be able to destroy you!"

[Kalvin thinks about what John said but then Kalvin smirks]

   Kalvin - "... Go ahead."

[Kalvin then dematerializes the rock spear on his right arm into rubble. John stands in confusion]

   John - "What?"

   Kalvin - "Go ahead, put it on. It does give you powers, just like this one does ..."

[Kalvin pointed to the object on his wrist]

   Kalvin - "but ... if you think that you could challenge me to a fight and expect me to be afraid of you, after you barely discovered their existence and have never used them before and expect to win in a fight against me, then I urge you ..."

[Kalvin then gives a crazy look in his eye as he says the next part]

   Kalvin - "Give me a reason to be afraid."

[John trembles in fear but he ignores Kalvin's warning and puts it on anyway]

   John - "You asked for it!"

[John then points it at Kalvin after he puts it on his right hand and attempts to stop him ... but nothing happens]

   John - "... huh?"

[John is confused and tries to activate it with no result]

   John - "Come on! Work damn it!"

   Kalvin [he sighs in disappointment] - "..."

[Kalvin then reluctantly grabs John by the neck with his right hand while pins John's right hand with his left against the wall he built]

   Kalvin - "You had me going for a minute there, I was expecting an epic fight but no, instead you had to raise my expectations for nothing."

[He removes the ring from John's hand and shows it to him]

   Kalvin - "This is called an Artifact."

[Kalvin then points to his wrist]

   Kalvin - "… and so is this. They each have different supernatural abilities and gives them to anyone who wears them ... but, you can't just put on an Artifact and expect it to work on its own will. You have to feel its power and you have to treat it as your own."

[Kalvin drops John on the ground. Kalvin then picks up John's wallet that the stranger dropped earlier]

   Kalvin - "Thanks for nothing, kid."

[Kalvin then walks away into the alley. John gets up catching his breath]

   John - "Give me back that ring you bastard! I paid $20,000 for that ring and I’m not leaving without it!"

[Kalvin stops and then laughs hysterically]

   Kalvin – “Hahaha! You actually paid that much for it?!

[Kalvin continues to laugh as John gets upset]

   Kalvin - "You know what ... keep your wallet, you’re going to need it more than me."

[Kalvin tosses John's wallet to him and keeps walking away]

   John - "Hey!"

[Kalvin then launches himself from the ground, using the earth beneath him, onto the roof of the nearest building]

   John - "Get back here!"

[John then climbs up the fire escape to the roof. John gets to the roof and sees Kalvin walking to the edge of the building. John runs to him]

   John - "Give me that ring!"

[He then launches himself onto the next building as John goes toward the edge]

   John - "This isn't over, I don't care what it takes, I will get that ring back!"

[Later on, John gets to his car and drives in Kalvin's direction]
[Time: 4:11; approximately]

[Meanwhile, outside the college campus at the football field; during practice]
[Time: 5:45]

[from the distance on top of a building nearby is an unknown female figure with binoculars, Calypso, looking closely at the football practice currently going on. then during practice one student charges and clears through 3 people in a row which she notices closely. unknown chatter is going on but Calypso then notices him talking to a cheerleader on the sidelines. then after he finished talking to the cheerleader, Calypso looks closely at her. then shows Calypso lowering the binoculars which shows the mask she's wearing that is also covered in silver. then her appearance changes to the form of the cheerleader]

[Later, after the practice in the boys’ locker room. the football player mentioned earlier is alone. someone then approaches]

   (Student) - "is someone there?"

   Calypso (disguised as the cheerleader) - "no, just me."

[He gets embarrassed]

   (Student) - "w-what are you doing here? This is the boys’ locker room."

   Calypso - "I know, I just thought I’d check up on you."

[Calypso then notices the silver chest piece leaning against the lockers nearby him; the super strength Artifact. she then points to it]

   Calypso - "What is that?"

   (Student) - "oh, that ... uh it’s ... extra padding."

   Calypso - "Really? Seems a bit thick for padding, isn't it?"

   (Student) - "well yea, but it is necessary."

   Calypso - "Do all of the players wear this?"

   (Student) - "um ... some do, not all."

   Calypso - "Um hmm, where did you get it from?"

   (Student) - "well the uh ... the coach gave it to me."

   Calypso - "Oh yea? Well where did he get it from?"

   (Student) - "I don't know."

   Calypso - "Well surely-"

   (Student) - "I said I don't know … he gave it to me and that’s all there is to it."

[Calypso gets upset and grabs a nearby towel without him noticing]

   Calypso - "I see ... thanks."

   (Student) - "for what?"

[Calypso's appearance returns to normal]

   Calypso - "... For making this so easy ..."

   (Student) - "what the-"

[Calypso whips him with the towel, wraps it around his neck, then slams his head against the lockers and finally knees him in the face]

   Calypso - "I saw you play out there and I got to say I’m a little disappointed."

[Calypso then picks up the armor and puts it on, then after putting it on the metal shape changes to match her size]

   Calypso - "... Even though you had super strength, you didn't bother to use its full potential ..."

[Calypso then grabs him by the throat and lifting him above her head]

   Calypso - "Now, this is how you use super strength."

[She then throws him through the lockers and breaking them one by one until he hits the wall. She changes her disguise to look like him as she exits the locker room]

[Later that night, Kalvin goes into a convenient store. while inside he uses the crumbled up money to buy a few items. after exiting the store, he then stops and looks around in the distance parking lot]

   Kalvin - "... come out from hiding, I know your there ...”

[Then someone appears from the darkness under the nearby lamp post]

   Daniel - "long time no see ... Kalvin."

   Kalvin - "Daniel."

[Kalvin drops his bags on the floor]

   Daniel - "I always wondered what happened to you after all this time ... you still struggling to survive in the cold."

   Kalvin - "Don’t mock me. What are you doing here?"

   Daniel - "oh, nothing really. I just thought I’d visit an old friend of mine ... just like the old days."

[Kalvin looks around the parking lot]

   Kalvin - "I’m sure you invited your other 'friends' too, didn't you?"

   Daniel - "nope, just me."

[Kalvin stares at Daniel]

   Kalvin - "You really think you can beat me ... by yourself?"

   Daniel - "Of course, I did last time."

   Kalvin - "This time is different ..."

[Kalvin takes off his jacket and starts assembling rock; surrounding both his arms, making them into spikes. then he slashes them together to sharpen them]

   Kalvin - "... and I won’t go easy on you either ..."

   Daniel - "I wouldn't expect you to."

   Kalvin - "(this must be a trap: no minions, no Artifacts ... he wouldn't be this foolish unless he had something up his sleeve.)"

[Kalvin charges at Daniel with the spikes and tries to slash them at him but Daniel keeps dodging his attacks one by one. then Kalvin hits Daniel's chest but when the spike hit, it broke on contact tearing the shirt in that section. Kalvin's stunned by how the attack didn't go through but Daniel then quickly grabs Kalvin with his right arm and holds him above the ground, choking him; Kalvin struggles to break free from his grip]

   Daniel - "I knew you'd hit me there ... right where the Artifact is at."

[Kalvin looks at the section he hit and sees the silver; the super strength armor. Daniel throws him across the parking lot rolling along the ground]

               Daniel - “… you could’ve easily went straight for the head but you didn’t … “

[Kalvin then gets up, dematerializes the rock on his arm, and recreates it into blunt chunks; solely used for hand-to-hand combat]

   Kalvin - "... I’m just warming up."

[Kalvin charges in again using his right hand to create a powerful punch but Daniel blocks the punch with his bare hands in full force. Kalvin stunned by the block uses his left hand for an up-close punch but Daniel blocks the second hit with his other hand with full force]

   Daniel - "... amateur."

[Daniel squeezes while breaking Kalvin's rock-like fists, head-buts him, and kicks him in the air but hits the lamp post and then hits the ground]

   Kalvin - "(I can't believe he keeps blocking my hits, nobody has ever blocked my punches like that before. I’m going to have to try an indirect route.)"

[Kalvin stands up and stretches his neck. then Kalvin slams his foot into the ground with full force which the ground in front him breaks apart and travels toward Daniel, like an earthquake. then it shoots up a rock-like stone from the ground in front of Daniel in full force but then Daniel blocks the stone from hitting him. Kalvin is even more surprised when Daniel blocked that attack. then Daniel pulls out the rock from the ground and tosses it toward Kalvin's direction but Kalvin stops it by levitating it then breaks it apart into smaller rocks. Kalvin then realizes that Daniel went in charging for a direct attack. Daniel punches Kalvin with full force and sends Kalvin flying. Kalvin hits a nearby van, which left a big dent on the side of the van, making him unable to move]

   Daniel - "You tried your best but you are still no match for me."

[Kalvin struggles to move]

   Kalvin - "I haven't given up yet! I can still-"

[Then they both hear a car door slam. they turn to it and noticed John walking toward them. John looks really angry as he approaches Kalvin]

   John - "You!"

   Kalvin - "Crap ..."

   John - "I’ve been looking for you all night just to get that ring back ..."

   Kalvin - "Kid, get out of here! Can’t you see what's going on?!"

   John - "I’m not going anywhere until I get that ring!"

[Daniel looking at Kalvin confused]

   Daniel - "Who is this?"

[John looks through Kalvin's bag he had left on the ground and finds the red ring]

   Kalvin - "Hey! Don’t go through my stuff like that!"

   John - "Shut up! I got what I need and you’re lucky that I don’t call the police on you! This is my property and you better not try to steal it again!"

[John walks toward his car but Daniel stops him when he realizes that he has an Artifact]

   Daniel - "Where are you going with that?"

   John - "Get out of my way!"

[John shoves Daniel but he gets upset and hits John, which knocks him to the ground]

   Daniel - "Who do you think you are to ignore me like that? I’m not letting you leave with that Artifact."

[John gets up and notices his nose is bleeding]

   John - "That really hurt ... are you that bastard’s friend?"

[John notices Daniel’s Artifact]

   John – “… with one of those … ‘Artifacts?’”

   Daniel - "I’m no friend of his ... but I do want that Artifact ..."

   John - "You’re in my way!"

   Kalvin - "Get out of here kid, he isn't someone you want to mess with."

[John turns to Kalvin]

   John - "I said shut up!"

   Daniel - "Just hand over the Artifact and keep moving, this doesn't concern you."

[John then turns to Daniel]

   John - "I don't care who you are or how you’re involved with him ... but I’m not giving you this Artifact!"

[John then puts on the ring and Daniel smirks. Kalvin notices this and attempts to get up]

   Kalvin - "Don’t be an idiot! You don't know how to use that!"

   Daniel - "Fine then ..."

[Daniel charges toward John for a punch. John looks determined]

   Kalvin - "(He’s screwed ...)"

[as Daniel comes close to hitting John, a force field suddenly appears and blocks his punch. Kalvin and Daniel are both surprised. then John repels the force field and releases a forceful blast that pushes Daniel and sends him flying in the air. Daniel then lands on top of a car roof not too far from where they're at. Kalvin is still surprised and John yells at Daniel]

   John - "Is that the best you got?!"

[Daniel attempts to get off the car but his appearance starts to fade. John and Kalvin are confused when they see him as his disguise disappears. Daniel's true identity is revealed as Calypso in disguise]

   Kalvin - "What the hell? Who are you?"

[Calypso gets off of the car but struggles to stand]

   Calypso - "I’m ... I’m your replacement. Daniel told me all about you and the things you did. Now ... now that I ... finally found you, I want to finish what Daniel started ... by killing you ...”

   John - "If you want to kill him then that’s fine by me, just leave me out of it."

   Calypso - "No, now I see that I don't have to just kill him ... I have to kill you too!"

[Calypso jumps toward John and intends to strike from above but then John's eyes start to glow red in rage. John creates a force field around Calypso and keeps it levitated in the air. Kalvin is curious about John's eyes glowing]

   Calypso - "what the-"

   John - "I. wont. Let you!"

[John begins to cause a lot of force from the outside the force field and causing it to shrink. the force field is sucking up all of the energy from the outside and causing it to collapse within itself. then John releases the force field’s energy in rage and causes a powerful blast from inside of the force field. Calypso then falls to the ground and the glow from John's eyes disappear. John then approaches Calypso and removes the super strength Artifact from her but then he notices her mask. as he reaches for it, she then wakes up and kicks John back. Calypso gets back on feet and ready to attack John again but then Kalvin causes an earthquake between them. Calypso spots Kalvin back on his feet and those both glare at each other until Calypso uses the mask to turn herself invisible while escaping. John gets up]

   John - "Where did she go?"

   Kalvin - "It doesn't matter, she's smart enough not to fight us today. Although I must say, I was impressed by how much you learned in a short time ..."

[John looks at his watch to check the time; time: 9:19. John's eyes aren't seen at this point]

   Kalvin - "... if you hadn't been here then-"

   John - "You ruined everything!"

[John then uses the ring to blast Kalvin and have him hit a nearby car]

   John - "I had one chance to make everything right but because of you it’s gone!"

[John then throws the chest piece at Kalvin but he misses]

   John - "Take your crap and stay out of my life!"

[John gets into his car and drives away. Kalvin collects his stuff and looks at the chest piece]

   Kalvin - "(those eyes ... I haven't seen something like that in a long time ... and after only learning about the Artifacts within a day too ... he just might have the potential I’ve been looking for ...)"

[Meanwhile, later that same night, Daniel & Calypso appear to be in mid-conversation]
[Location: inside Daniel's unknown headquarters, which appears to be abandoned]

   Daniel - "... You found him?"

   Calypso - "I was on my way back when I found him at a nearby convenient store. I attempted to defeat him-"

   Daniel - "You confronted him? Alone?"

   Calypso - "I had just gotten the super strength armor, I used it to fight him but he-"

   Daniel - "Where is it?"

   Calypso - "What?"

   Daniel - "the armor, where is it?"

   Calypso - "I lost it ..."

[Daniel turns away from Calypso]

   Daniel - "I told you that he was too powerful to-"

   Calypso - "Not from him."

[He turns back at Calypso]

   Calypso - "I nearly defeated him but someone else interfered."

   Daniel - "Someone else? ... Who would defend him?"

   Calypso - "It didn't seem like it but he did. He took the armor and I managed to get away."

   Daniel - "hmmm, we'll look into that later but now that your back I need you to infiltrate a government facility tomorrow, there's a rumor going around that they have been experimenting on some Artifacts. You will need to go undercover and meet with the head scientist, who should grant you access to the Artifacts. I’ve already set up the meeting, except this time, have Serenity go with you ... just in case."

   Calypso - "I don't need back-up."

   Daniel - "I insist."

   Calypso - "... As you wish."

[Calypso leaves the room then Daniel talks to himself]

   Daniel - "... and yet, he didn't take the mask ..."







in addition to the main story I may include additional content along the way, such as: a prologue to describe the events within the past year and bonus chapters that don't entirely involve the story but only as a comedy relief (several chapter ideas involving additional Artifact users that have no direct motive towards the main story).

Prologue - http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,15833.0.html

Bonus Chapters - coming soon

I would appreciate any and all suggestions to further improve the story.

« Last Edit: March 25, 2016, 09:25:05 PM by Hope4Future »

Offline Hope4Future

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2015, 03:58:54 AM »
didn't have enough room for Part 2, so here it is:

Chapter 2: First Impressions; Part 2
[The next day, April 1, during the morning or mid-day; unknown time]
[Location: Melissa's parents’ house]
[Someone knocks on the door and Melissa answers It. John is there]

   John - "..."

[Before he says anything Melissa immediately slams the door in his face, which didn't close all of the way]

   John - "Ow! ... ok, I deserved that."

   Melissa - "Where were you yesterday?! I was waiting all night!"

   John - "I’m sorry but ... something came up."

   Melissa - "Another excuse, big surprise ..."

   John - "It’s not like that."

   Melissa - "What is it this time?"

   John - "It’s ... complicated."

   Melissa - "Really? What’s so complicated about it? You found an opportunity to bail again, if you didn’t want to go then just tell me."

   John - "I know, I’m sorry. I really tried this time and of course I wanted to go."

   Melissa - "Then what was the reason?"

   John - "I ... got mugged ..."

   Melissa - "Get out."

   John - "What?"

   Melissa - "I said get out! I don’t want to hear another stupid excuse."

[Melissa pushes John out of the door]

   John - "It’s not an excuse! I-"

[Melissa slams the door in front of John. he then sighs and leaves. John goes to his car but is surprised to find Kalvin there waiting]

   John - "... I don't believe this ..."

[John approaches Kalvin and talks to him]

   John - "You have some nerve showing up after yesterday."

   Kalvin - "relax, I wanted to thank you for helping me."

   John - "I’m not giving you back that ring."

   Kalvin - "I wasn't going to ask for it."

   John - "Then what do you want?"

   Kalvin - "I’m trying to say I’m sorry and if I caused you any trouble-"

   John - "Yea, you did. Now how about you get away from my car so I can hit you with it."

[Kalvin moves away from the car as John gets in]

   Kalvin - "I’m serious, if you ever need anything: name it."

   John - "ok, how about you use one those things to turn back time and undo everything you did to me yesterday so that I wouldn't have gotten involved in that craziness."

[John closes the car door in front of Kalvin]

   Kalvin [says to himself] – “… if only it was that easy …”

[John tries to start his car]

   Kalvin - "You probably shouldn't keep that ring if you don’t want to get involved."

[John stops from starting his car and rolls down the window. John turns to Kalvin]

   John - "Why not?"

   Kalvin - "Because several people, including myself, and that woman with the mask will want it. You’re lucky I was there instead, they would've killed you for it."

   John - "... You didn't have to steal it."

   Kalvin - "I wasn't going to pay you for it if that’s what you were thinking."

   John - "Well I need to get my money back somehow."

   Kalvin - "From that jewelry store? There’s no way they would take it back."

   John - "I don't have a choice and I’m certainly not going to keep this if it'll get me killed."

   Kalvin - "If that’s what you want then how about I come with you."

   John - "Why?"

   Kalvin - "I’m really good at convincing people, it’s the least I could do."

   John - "You are pretty convincing ... alright, get in."

[Kalvin gets into John's car]

   John - "Just don't try to kill him over it ..."

   Kalvin - "I wasn't going to!"

[Later that day, John and Kalvin arrive at the jewelry store. they enter the store and they are greeted by the same employee]

   (Employee) - "good afternoon."

[John takes out the ring from his pocket]

   John - "Hi, I came here yesterday and bought this engagement ring from you ..."

   Kalvin [says under his breath] - "engagement ring?"

   (Employee) - "ah yes, I remember. How did it go?"

   John - "Well that’s why I’m here, it didn't work out. So I would like to get a refund for this."

   (Employee) - "well I’m sorry, but we can't give you a refund-"

   John - "But-"

   Kalvin - "If it was property of the store, right?"

   (Employee) - "Well yes, but-"

[Kalvin takes the ring from John and shows it to the employee. he speaks closely and discreetly to the employee]

   Kalvin - "This is not just a ring ... I think we both know that ... and since it didn't belong to the store, you were selling this to him ... illegally."

[The employee looks around and gets nervous]

   (Employee) - "I can't give him a refund and even if I could, I don't want that ring back ... it’s dangerous to hang on to these, there are murderers out there hunting people for these things."

   Kalvin - "How much did you hear about these 'murderers?’”

   (Employee) - "Not too much, but I don't want to take any chances."

   Kalvin – “Well sure, but if you keep it hidden, it would be nearly impossible for them to find it. Besides, wouldn't you want to get more than $20,000?"

   (Employee) - "What do you mean?"

   Kalvin - "These things are very rare and extremely powerful, you don't have to sell it like jewelry ... you can sell it as pure power. Potential clients would pay double or even triple that amount just to get their hands on something like this. But I’m going to make a deal with you: all you have to do is give this kid his money and I’ll give you this instead."

[Kalvin pulls out a different ring. it’s similar to the force field ring but the gem is flat and black with a swirl on it; its later referred to as the ring of life but its currently drained of its power]

   Kalvin [whispering] - "... He never has to know ..."

[The employee looks at John, who is waiting and looking around]

   (Employee) - "why would you give me that ring, why not the red ring?"

   Kalvin - "Personal preference, the kid can’t depart with it, but believe me this ring is anything but equal value. We got a deal?"

[The employee looks around discreetly again]

   (Employee) - "deal, just give me a minute."

[Kalvin turns to John]

   John - "Well?"

   Kalvin - "Luckily for you, you get to keep both the ring and your money."

   John - "What? But I-"

[The employee comes back with the money in an envelope]

   (Employee) - "Here."

[Kalvin takes it and looks inside the envelope to check then hands him the ring of life discreetly]

   (Employee) - "Now please, don't come back here again, I could get fired for doing this."

   Kalvin - "No problem, nice doing business with you."

[Kalvin walks out of the store and John follows him out. Kalvin hands John the envelope after they walk some distance from the store]

   Kalvin - "Here, now we’re even."

   John - "Wait, what happened? How did I get both the money and the ring?"

   Kalvin - "I gave him a different Artifact instead."

   John - "You didn't have to, I don't even want this."

   Kalvin - "Keep it, that Artifact was worthless anyway."

   John - "Really?"

   Kalvin - "Yea, no matter how much I tried it wouldn't do anything. So I figured it wasn't worth hanging on to. Once he figures it out for himself, it'll be too late."

   John - "Well, thanks. I guess I have no reason to keep this now."

[John hands the ring to Kalvin]

   John - "Here."

   Kalvin - "I’m serious, keep it."

   John - "Really? Why?"

   Kalvin - "Because you'll need it."

   John - "Well, thanks I-"

[John than suspects something]

   John - "What do you mean by that?"

   Kalvin - "... If you were to encounter another Artifact user of course."

   John - "What? No, I don’t want to fight anyone. Especially if it involves these things.”

   Kalvin - "Nonsense, you have great potential and with my help we-"

   John - "We? I don't want anything to do with this ... and I’m certainly not going to work with you!"

   Kalvin - "Why not? We could do great things if we put our minds to it."

   John - "I said no!"

[John throws the ring on the ground]

   John - "I don't want anything to do with this! I have a life to live and I won’t throw it away for some petty crimes. We’re even now, take your ring and just stay the hell away from me!"

[John walks away from Kalvin]

   Kalvin - "... petty crimes?!"

[John stops and turns to Kalvin]

   Kalvin - "Is that what you thought I was doing? Mindlessly robbing people and getting into fights? No, there is much more to this than that. I’m trying to save people from these things, something that is very dangerous if any of those psychopaths get it. If I don't, then the world will fall into chaos with only a single Artifact. That is what I’m trying to do ... and I need your help. Don’t you believe in something greater than yourself?"

[John stands there and thinks on it]

   John - "... You are helping people, right?"

   Kalvin - "I’m trying to."

[John approaches Kalvin]

   John - "... and collecting these 'Artifacts' is supposed to save them?"

   Kalvin - "You saw what that woman in the mask was capable of, right? That was just one of the many people that use these Artifacts for evil purposes."

[John ponders on it more]

   John - "... alright, I’ll do it ... if it’s for the good of the people then I’ll help."

[Kalvin smirks]

   Kalvin - "I knew you would see it my way eventually. My name is Kalvin by the way."

   John - "(although ...)" [John recalls what Kalvin told him earlier: "I’m really good at convincing people ..."] "(I just hope he meant what he said about helping people ...) John."

   Kalvin - "come on, I want to show you something."

[Kalvin starts walking a different direction than where John's car is at]

   John - "Hey! My car is this way."

[John follows Kalvin]

   Kalvin - "Leave it, we won’t need it where we're going."

   John - "Where are we going?"

   Kalvin - "I’ll tell you when we get there, you still need to know more about these Artifacts before you’re able to find them."

   John - "Ok. So what are these 'Artifacts?' I’ve never seen technology like this before."

   Kalvin - "I don't know."

   John - "you don't know?! How am I supposed to learn about them if you don't even know yourself?"

   Kalvin - "It’s hard to explain but I do know enough about them."

   John - "Ok, then how do they get their abilities?"

   Kalvin - "I don't know."

   John - "What metal are they made from?"

   Kalvin - "I don't know."

   John - "How many Artifacts are there?"

   Kalvin - "I don't know."

   John - "What do you know?"

   Kalvin - "There really isn't much to know about them in the first place. You wear them and they give you powers, what else is there to it?

   John - "I would like to know some of its aspects."

   Kalvin - "Ok then ... I believe that their abilities come from the gem, like the one on the ring, it is most likely to be the source that could harness such a power. Although, they are pretty strange aren't they?"

   John - "well yea, who ever invented these must have- ... who did invent these?"

   Kalvin - "I don't know but I doubt anyone invented something like this with the way our technology is."

   John - "That is true. I never imagined something like this would exist. They really are amazing ..."

   Kalvin - "I suppose ... but-"

[John looks at Kalvin but Kalvin notices something]

   Kalvin - "We’re almost there."

   John - "... if I knew we were going to walk this far I would've brought my car."

   Kalvin - "You don't want to do that, it would get stolen."

[John looks around. he notices the streets are abandoned and the buildings seem to be abandoned as well. everything else around them seems to be sabotaged]

   John - "Kalvin, where are we-"

   Kalvin - "We’re here! Welcome to ..."

[John and Kalvin look at the nearby town]

   Kalvin - "The slums!"

[its shows the town that was mentioned in the beginning on #1; one year after judgment day. the buildings nearby are destroyed and barely standing. many homeless live within the area and live in hand-made shelters. many shards and debris are still scattered around the area, as well as on buildings and cars. any building that was still standing was looted and cars were swiped clean of any remaining parts. lastly, in the center of the town is a giant crater where the town statue used to be at; it doesn’t have the sword there anymore]

   John - "Whoa. I-I can't believe it ... it’s real. I’ve only heard rumors about this place."

   Kalvin - "Approximately, one year from today, an unknown storm had occurred above this town. The storm was very rapid but it wasn't any normal storm. A large explosion occurred in the sky that later rained large debris that single handedly destroyed this town ... with barely any survivors."

[They roam around the area throughout the town]

   John - "I remember the storm, but didn't they repair the damages last year?"

   Kalvin - "Nope, they cleared away several debris but one day they just stopped working and nobody ever did anything about it since then."

   John - "Why is that? And how does this involve the Artifacts?"

   Kalvin - "Based on several rumors, that's when the government discovered the Artifacts existence and decided to put all their efforts towards studding them instead. They didn't have enough funding for both."

   John - "They choose to study Artifacts over cleaning the debris?"

   Kalvin - "turns out, the debris was the Artifacts."

   John - "Then that would mean ... the Artifacts fell from the sky ..."

   Kalvin - "Exactly."

   John - "Then what caused the explosion? Where did the debris come from?"

   Kalvin - "Nobody knows, it’s one of the many mysteries of the world."

   John - "Did the government do anything for these people?"

   Kalvin - "Nope, they turned their backs on this place and left them to fend for themselves."

   John - "I can't believe this ... any of this. To let these people suffer like this is inhumane, especially if it’s for their own benefit."

   Kalvin - "... Which is why we must take matters into our own hands. Every last Artifact needs to be confiscated. We have to take these for ourselves because not even the government has control over their own greed."

   John - "Does that mean we have to take Artifacts from the government too?"

   Kalvin - "perhaps, only if necessary ... but hopefully it won’t come to that."

   John - "So, if we confiscate all of the Artifacts, what do we do next?"

   Kalvin - "What do you mean?"

   John - "When we collect all of the Artifacts, what will we do with them?"

[Kalvin thinks about it]

   Kalvin - "... hmm, I never actually thought about it before ..."

   John - "Well then-"

[Kalvin backs away after looking around the corner. Kalvin stops John]

   John - "What-"

   Kalvin - "Wait, there’s somebody there."

[They see a homeless person looking through some debris]

   John - "So?"

   Kalvin - "He has an Artifact."

[John looks again and notices the homeless man's Artifact]

   John - "So?"

   Kalvin - "Do you want to deal with him or should I?"

   John - "You’re not saying we should steal it from him, are you?"

   Kalvin - "it’s not stealing if it didn't belong to them in the first place."

   John - "I’m not stealing from the homeless!"

   Kalvin - "Alright then, I’ll deal with him."

[Kalvin approaches the homeless man]

   John - "Hey, wait, that's not-"

[Kalvin speaks to the homeless person]

   Kalvin - "hey, you! Drop the Artifact before someone gets hurt!"

[He gets scared and attempts to run away but Kalvin creates a rock wall in from of him. he turns to Kalvin]

   Kalvin - "Don’t try anything stupid ..."

   (Homeless man) - "please, leave me alone! This is all I have left."

   Kalvin - "that's not true, you have two things: ... that Artifact and your life."

[John is surprised by Kalvin and runs up to him]

   John - "Kalvin, stop! What are you doing?!"

   Kalvin - "What does it look like?"

   John - "You don't have to scare people just to get the Artifacts."

   Kalvin - "Yes, I do. It’s for the greater good."

   John - "I know, but it doesn't mean you have to threaten them. They lost everything they have because of judgment day, don't you have any sympathy."

[Kalvin starts to get angry at John. the homeless man get more scared by the look in Kalvin's eyes]

   (Homeless man) - "ok, here."

[He drops the Artifact]

   (Homeless man) - "please, just leave me alone!"

[Kalvin then exhales and lowers the rock wall in front on the homeless person. he then runs for It. Kalvin approaches the Artifact on the floor as he passes John]

   Kalvin - "You wouldn't understand ..."

   John - "Why not? What is it about threatening people that I don't understand?!"

[Before Kalvin picks up the Artifact, he turns to John looking very upset]

   Kalvin - "have you truly learned nothing?! These people here had lost everything that day, with no remorse or sympathy from anyone, they have to live their lives knowing that what happened here can never be undone. Which is why they are more likely to retaliate when they find something rare and powerful as the Artifacts. They could easily take it upon themselves to destroy every other town just so those people would feel the same way that people like him did. This is how psychopaths are created and these Artifacts are the tools they use to get even with the rest of the world!

[John is surprised by Kalvin's words but Kalvin snaps out of it and continues what he meant to say while picking up the Artifact]

   Kalvin - "... So, that's why we need to be harsh on them. Come on, let’s keep going ..."

[Kalvin begins to continue walking as John stands there]

   John - "Kalvin ... are you homeless?"

[Kalvin then stops]

   Kalvin - "... This was my home town ..."

   John - "Why didn't you say anything?"

   Kalvin - "What does it matter? We aren't friends."

   John - "Well, no ... but we are teammates."

[Kalvin turns to John]

[After some time has passed, John and Kalvin are at John's apartment complex. John unlocks the door and enters the apartment]

   John - "... it’s not much, but its home."

   Kalvin [says quietly to John] - "... thanks ..."

   John - "No problem, what’s mine is yours ... except I’ll get you a different toothbrush and stuff."

   Kalvin - "No need, I’ll get my own."

[Kalvin notices several packed boxes]

   Kalvin - "Whose are these?"

   John - "that's my roommates stuff, which I was supposed to drop off yesterday at his new address before ... well, you know."

   Kalvin - "Why did he move out?"

   John - "I’m not sure why, he just told me he was leaving ... he seemed upset about something. Nevertheless, it’s your room now."

   Kalvin - "this is more than I’ve had in a while ..."

   John - "Where were you living before?"

   Kalvin - "After judgment day I had a few places to stay at but it didn't last long, more recently I just roam around the slums."

   John - "You were living on the streets? With no shelter?"

   Kalvin - "No, I did have my Artifact. I used it to create my own shelter where ever I go, that way I don't have to stay in one place and be protected at nighttime."

   John - "You didn't have any friends and family?"

[Kalvin got quiet but continued anyway]

   Kalvin - "... had ... but enough about me, I got something for you."

[Kalvin goes through his duffel bag and takes out the super strength Artifact that Calypso used]

   Kalvin - "You’re more than happy to keep the ring, but I figured you'd want to use something a little less feminine."

[Kalvin hands John the chest piece. John takes it but looks at it]

   John - "I suppose, but I don't think it'll fit me very well."

   Kalvin - "Trust me, it'll fit just fine."

[John puts on the chest piece. soon after the metal begins to liquefy and changes its shape to match his size. John is surprised when it happened]

   John - "Whoa ... what just happened?"

   Kalvin - "I forgot to mention, the Artifacts can change their shape to match the users size."

   John - "How is that even possible?"

   Kalvin - "I honestly don't know nor do I understand it but didn't notice that the ring had fit perfectly on you, not too tight or too loose?"

   John - "No, that never crossed my mind. This metal, it isn't built from any known metals isn't it?"

   Kalvin - "Nope."

   John - "these Artifacts are really strange ... it must be pretty easy to find them."

[Kalvin lies down on the nearby couch]

   Kalvin - "More or less, although you do realize we aren't going to be looking for the Artifacts themselves, right?"

   John - "Then what will we be looking for?"

   Kalvin - "The people who wear the Artifacts. Almost all of the known Artifacts have been collected by now, which will most likely have an owner if they aren't with the government ... or them."

   John - "Them? You mean like that woman with the mask?"

   Kalvin - "Yes."

   John - "What about that guy?"

   Kalvin - "What guy?"

   John - "The one she was disguised as ... did you know who he was?"

   Kalvin - "oh, him. Yes I know him, he's an old rival of mine, Daniel, he also collects Artifacts but for a different reason. He is not someone you'd want to mess with, nor his teammates, which now I’m certain that the woman in the mask is with his crew."

   John - "Do you know who else is working with him?"

   Kalvin - "I have a hunch but I’m not certain, he could have some new members ... or even an army ..."

   John - "I think your exaggerating a bit, there's no way he could have an army of Artifact users."

   Kalvin - "your right, it is nearly impossible to gather that many people ... but just remember one thing: it could take a single Artifact ... to rule the world; it just depends on the Artifact and its user."

   John - "that's a scary thought ... but we won’t let them, wont we?"

[Kalvin grins]

   Kalvin - "of course not."

[John's phone begins to ring, he notices Melissa it is calling him]

   John - "Excuse me for a moment ..."

[Kalvin notices John on the phone and is curious of who he is calling. John answers the phone]

   John - "Hey, look I’m sorry how things turned out-"

   Melissa (on phone) - "no, no that's not necessary, I was just upset about it. You said you were mugged and I should've been more sympathetic ... you were mugged weren't you?"

   John - "Yes, of course I was mugged ..."

[Kalvin looks at John and sits up on the couch]

   Melissa - "Oh, that’s good to hear ... I-I mean not the mugging but that you’re ok. So, what happened anyway?"

   John - "Well actually, there is more to it than just the mugging. You see I-"

[John then looks at Kalvin and he shakes his head to John. John then hesitates to respond to Melissa]

   John - "... Well, um ... listen, I’ll tell you about it some other time but I have to go right now. We’re still good, right?"

   Melissa - "Of course. Do you want to reschedule dinner sometime this week?"

   John - "Yes, I do. I’ll let you know when, bye."

   Melissa - "Bye."

[John hangs up the phone and turns to Kalvin but he quickly responds]

   Kalvin - "You can't tell her you know."

   John - "Why not?"

   Kalvin - "She can't be trusted."

   John - "How would you know? You’ve never met her."

   Kalvin - "I don't have to know her to know that she can't be trusted. The less people that know the better, otherwise we won’t be able to keep quiet of what we're doing."

   John - "It’s not like its illegal ..."

   Kalvin - "Is it? The government is trying to get these too, they could easily change the rules if they wanted to. Why does it matter to you anyway?"

   John - "well ... because ... we tell each other everything ..."

   Kalvin - "Really? Is this the same woman you originally bought an engagement ring for?"

   John - "Yes it is, I plan on marrying her."

   Kalvin - "... Now why would you do something stupid like that?"

   John - "Because I love her, that's why. What’s stupid about getting married?"

   Kalvin - "At your age it is, you’re still young, enjoy single life before settling down."

   John - "Forget it, I’m happy with her and you can’t talk me out of it. In fact: I still do intend on telling her about the Artifacts."

   Kalvin - "You can't and you won’t."

   John - "... and why is that?"

   Kalvin - "You care for her and want her to be safe, don’t you?"

   John - "Well, yea."

   Kalvin - "Wouldn’t she be safer not knowing about the Artifacts ... and not getting involved with them altogether? She could be in danger for simply carrying an Artifact or even being around us ... is that what you want?"

[John sighs in disappointment]

   John - "... I guess not, but I can't keep lying to her forever ..."

   Kalvin - "Trust me, it's for her own good."

   John - "Ugh, I hate it when you’re right ... I’m still getting married though, that hasn't changed at all."

[Kalvin lies back on the couch with his arms behind his head while looking at John]

   Kalvin - "whatever, but it's a mistake. (I remember when I used to be like that, all cocky and simple-minded. he reminds me of my younger self every time I look at him, I only wish I could help him more, but of course he'd be stubborn as well. when it comes down to it, I just hope he would see it from my point of view ...)


I do have Chapter 3 ready but I still need to edit it more, should be posted soon

btw - is there a limit on how many words there should be in each chapter?
  :notunderstand:
« Last Edit: February 05, 2016, 10:44:38 PM by Hope4Future »

Offline Hope4Future

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2016, 08:00:17 PM »
New Year, New Chapter!

here's Chapter 3 completed:


Chapter 3: Fire & Ice
[The next day, after #2. Unknown time]
[Location: outside an unknown apartment building]
[A girl, whose face isn’t shown, quickly enters her apartment. She locks the door behind her and closes the blinds while looking outside. She puts on her jacket with the hood up and starts packing up as much as possible into a backpack. Soon after, she exits the apartment and something is seen on her right hand that is silver; latter mentioned as the fire glove]

[Meanwhile, John and Kalvin are leaving John's apartment in mid-conversation]

   John - "... How will we know what they look like if they have different shapes?"

   Kalvin - "Trust me, you'll know when you see one."

   John - "You’re not giving me enough details to work with ..."

   Kalvin - "Then don't ask so many questions, use your instincts. So what's your deal with that girlfriend of yours?"

   John - "'My deal?' What are you talking about?"

   Kalvin - "What kind of deal is going on between you two?"

   John - "You mean besides a happy meaningful relationship?"

   Kalvin - "Yea, that can't be it."

   John - "You’ve never loved anyone have you?"

   Kalvin - "Eh, I guess not."

   John - "I don't believe you, you might try to act all tough on the outside but I bet  there's a part of you that wants what I have and just tries to-"

[Kalvin glares at John]

   Kalvin - "Is she real?"

   John - "What?! Yes she's real! Why would I lie about that?!"

   Kalvin - "I mean, it’s fine if you are. People do that-"

   John - "Don't turn this back at me! ... And she is real, so I don't feel the need to lie about it."

   Kalvin - "It’s ok if she's not real ..."

   John - "She is."

   Kalvin - "... Because I’m going to help you find yourself a real girl."

   John - "Alright, that's enough, I already regret mentioning it. Come on, let’s keep looking.  Where should we start?"

[Kalvin looking around then notices a girl wearing a jacket with the hood on, the one mentioned earlier, he then looks closely at her. Kalvin then points her out to John]

   Kalvin - "There, let’s follow her."

   John - "Does she have an Artifact?"

   Kalvin - "Huh? Oh, maybe."

   John - "'Maybe?' What about your instincts or-"

   Kalvin - "Let’s go!"

[they follow her, but they kept their distance]

   John - "Ok just so we understand each other, you’re not going to threaten her or try to kill her, are you?"

   Kalvin - "No, we're just going to talk."

   John - "Just talking, no killing?"

   Kalvin - "Yes. Do you really think so low of me?"

   John - "You’re not making it easy ..."

[she turns around slightly then goes into a nearby ally]

   John - "Do you think she saw us?"

   Kalvin - "Maybe, come on."

[John and Kalvin approach the same ally and find the girl there as well. She stops when she realizes it’s a dead end and stares at the wall with no sudden movement. John quickly turns to Kalvin]

   John - "Let me handle this, ok?"

   Kalvin - "Go ahead."

[John then turns to her. She begins to roll up her right jacket sleeve a little]

   John - "Excuse me, i-"

[She then turns around immediately and aims her right arm to them, revealing her Artifact; which Kalvin instantly notices. She then uses her left arm to support her right arm and the Artifact she has starts to light up with fire; they see her face]

   Jessie (aka: the girl in the hood) - "Stay away! I’m not giving it back!"

[Several hours earlier, that same day]
[Location: an unknown government facility; shows the empty lobby and closes in on the receptionist desk. Jessie is behind the desk typing up something on the computer, then sighs in boredom. She hears someone coming in and is surprised to see Mr.{no name or number yet; he's in charge of the facility*} as he approaches her desk]

   Jessie - "Mr.{*}? I thought you were on vacation?"

   Mr.{*} - "I ... got back early. I’m supposed to meet with Dr.{no name or number yet; main scientist*} today, is he here?"

   Jessie - "Uh yea, he’s in his office."

[He looks in the direction she was looking at]

   Jessie - "So, how was-"

   Mr.{*} - "I’m sorry but I have to get going, perhaps another time."

   Jessie - "Oh, ok."

[Mr.{*} walks down the hall that Jessie pointed to]

   Jessie - "(... He seems a lot calmer than usual ...)"

[The phone rings]

   Jessie - "Hello?"

   Mr.{*} (on phone) - "Hi Jessie, have you seen my assistant? I got a call from her about-"

   Jessie (confused) - "Who is this?"

   Mr.{*} (on phone) - "It’s me, Mr.{*} ..."

[Jessie is surprised then looks down the hall where 'Mr.{*}' went]

   Mr.{*} (on phone) - "My assistant told me I’m supposed to meet with Dr.{*} today but I thought I told her that I was on vacation ... I swear, if she messes up again-"

   Jessie - "When’s your wife's birthday?"

   Mr.{*} (on phone) - "Her birthday? Uh, i think it was sometime in June ... or maybe July ... aren't you suppose to remind me-"

   Jessie - "Sir, i just saw you walk in a few minutes ago. He’s with Dr.{*} now ... also, her birthday is in January ..."

   Mr.{*} (on phone) - "Oh no! Call security, lock up the building, and don’t let that impostor get to him! I’ll be there as soon as i can."

   Jessie - "Ok, but how did-"

[Mr.{*} hangs up the phone]

   Jessie - "(If that was him, then what's with the duplicate?)"

[Jessie goes to where the fake Mr.{*} went]

[Meanwhile, at Dr.{*}'s office with him inside. Someone knocks on his door and he answers it; which is the fake Mr.{*}]

   Dr.{*} - "Mr.{*}, what is this meeting regarding?"

   Fake Mr.{*} - "I just wanted to see how you were doing on your latest experiments."

   Dr.{*} - "It’s going very well, I’m currently working on the remaining three samples ..."

   Fake Mr.{*} - "Three samples? I thought there were more."

   Dr.{*} - "Yes, but we transferred the others to another facility ... don’t you remember?"

   Fake Mr.{*} - "... That's right, now I remember. It must have slipped my mind ... can I see them?"

   Dr.{*} - "Of course, i just need to get-"

[As Dr.{*} looks through his desk, two security guards walk into the office. The fake Mr.{*} seems nervous. Dr.{*} notices them walk in and turns to them]

   Dr.{*} - "Can i help you?"

   (Guard 2) - "We need to speak with Mr.{*} for a minute."

   Fake Mr.{*} - "What is this about?"

   (Guard 1) - "Please come with us."

[Fake Mr.{*} puts on brass knuckles on his left hand from his pocket without them noticing]

   Fake Mr.{*} - "Certainly ..."

[As he approaches them he immediately hits Guard 1 but then Guard 2 attempts to restrain him while Guard 1 gets back on his feet]

   Dr.{*} - "What are you-"

   (Guard 2) - "Get out of here it’s not safe!"

[Then fake Mr.{*} pushes back Guard 2 then Guard 1 grabs him from behind]

[Meanwhile, Jessie is running down the hall then sees someone approaching]

   Jessie - "Who are you? You’re not supposed to be in this area."

[Serenity appears]

   Serenity - "Don’t worry about me ..."

   Jessie - "This area is restricted."

[Jessie grabs Serenity's right arm, Serenity then gets upset while looking at Jessie. Serenity pulls her arm out and keeps walking]

   Serenity - "... You’re not supposed to be here either ..."

[As Serenity walks away, Jessie notices something on her left hand; latter mentioned as the ice glove Artifact. Jessie goes to where Serenity was at and when she turns at the corner she is surprised to see that several guards were frozen in place]

   Jessie - "What the hell?"

[Jessie then looks to where Serenity went and follows her]

[Meanwhile, inside Dr.{*}'s office: both guards pin down the fake Mr.{*}. Dr.{*} runs to the door and opens it but he finds Serenity on the other side. He steps back as Serenity walks into the office, she closes the door and freezes some of the wall on contact; Dr.{*} notices her Artifact]

   Serenity [sarcastically] - "I see you handled yourself well."

   Fake Mr.{*} - "Shut up and help me."

   Dr.{*} - "T-that's-"

   Serenity - "An Artifact, i know. That’s what we're looking for ... where are they?"

[Meanwhile, Jessie is approaching the office then, soon after, Dr.{*} walks out and closes the door behind him]

   Jessie - "Dr.{*}, you need to get out of here, there’s-"

   Dr.{*} - "I know, don’t worry they already took care of him."

[Jessie notices that he’s not wearing his glasses. He walks down the end of the hall to a sealed door. Jessie notices the windows in his office are fogged. She then suspects something but follows Dr.{*} in confusion]

   Jessie - "Where are you going?"

[He pulls out a key card of some sort and turns to the door]

   Dr.{*} - "I wanted to check on my lab ... in case something went missing."

   Jessie - "But the door is-"

[She thought about the fake Mr.{*} for a minute and started to suspect something]

   Jessie - "H-how is your wife doing ... in the hospital?"

[He turns to Jessie, a bit nervous]

   Dr.{*} - "... She's doing fine."

[He turns to the door]

   Jessie - "That’s good to hear."

[He unlocks the door but Jessie grabs a nearby fire extinguisher and hits him at the back of the head with it, knocking him to the ground; the camouflage wears off, it was Calypso disguised as Dr.{*} and Mr.{*} the whole time]

   Jessie - "... He doesn't have a wife."

[The door opens up. Jessie takes a peek inside then turns around and sees nobody in sight. She picks up the key card and walks in]

   Jessie - "Jackpot."

[She then closes the door behind her and it locks automatically. She looks around the lab and takes out her phone to start taking pictures of everything she sees]

   Jessie - "So is this what they've been hiding all this time? There must be something really important in here, especially if someone went through a lot of trouble to steal it ... what did they want?"

[Then Jessie notices on the table: three Artifacts (electricity shock collar, fire glove, and the infinite chain) each in a glass container. She approaches them but stares at the fire glove and removes the glass from it]

   Jessie - "This looks just like the one she was wearing ... I wonder what they do?"

[She picks up the glove and puts it on. Doing so, she looks at it closely on her arm]

   Jessie - "Whoa, this feels weird."

[Jessie then turns to the other Artifacts. She then picks up the glass covering another Artifact but the glass began to melt when she touched it. She drops it and the glass shatters on the floor. She looks at the glove as it lights up]

   Jessie - "What the hell?! What is this?"

[It shows controlled flames at her fingertips]

[Meanwhile, outside the lab: Calypso starts to get up and Serenity approaches her]

   Serenity - "What happened?!"

   Calypso - "Some girl knocked me out, she’s inside."

[Serenity tries to open the door]

   Serenity - "Where’s the key?"

   Calypso - "She must have token it with her. We have to get out of here, they already know we're here."

   Serenity - "I am not leaving until I get that glove."

[Serenity places her hands on the door and starts to freeze it]

[Meanwhile, inside the lab: Jessie notices that the door is starting to freeze from the outside]

   Jessie - "What the hell?!"

[She then recalls seeing someone with a similar glove, like the one she's wearing, then looks at her own. She then looks around for another exit]

   Jessie - "I can't stay here, where's the back door?"

[The door is entirely frozen and then Serenity creates a ram out of ice and starts to hit the door until it breaks]

   Jessie - "I wonder ..."

[Jessie aims for a nearby wall and tries to shoot fire at it. As Serenity nearly breaks the door open, both Calypso and Serenity hear a loud explosion from inside]

   Calypso - "Hurry up!"

[Serenity breaks the door open and rushes inside. Serenity spots Jessie who is about to jump out of the giant hole in the wall she made, Serenity notices that Jessie is wearing the fire glove. They both look at each other for a second but then Jessie escapes]

   Serenity - "Damn it!"

   Calypso - "Forget about her, let’s get the other Artifacts and go."

[They escape out of Jessie's exit]

   Serenity - "We can still catch her-"

   Calypso - "No, we're leaving!"

[Serenity is upset but listens to Calypso. They both escape]

[Time: present]
[Meanwhile, Jessie is pointing the fire glove at John and Kalvin, threatening to shoot them if they come any closer to her]

   Jessie - "... I mean it, stay back!"

   Kalvin - "Hey look at that! She did have an Artifact."

   John - "Are you serious?! You didn't even know if she had one?"

[Jessie stands there confused by their reactions]

   Kalvin - "Well she does ..."

   Jessie - "Didn't you hear me?! I told you to stay away from me!"

   John - "We’re not going to hurt you ..."

   Jessie - "Then why were you following me?!"

   John - "Because-"

   Kalvin - "Alright, everybody just calm down. We aren't after you, so you're more then welcome to leave ... but, not until we get that Artifact."

   Jessie - "'Artifact?'"

   Kalvin - "The thing on your hand ..."

   Jessie - "Forget it buddy, I’m not going to give this to scum like you."

   John - "'Scum?' what did we do?"

   Kalvin - "Let’s just take it easy ... nobody needs to get hurt ..."

[Kalvin approaches Jessie slowly]

   John - "(Uh oh, i see where this is going ...)"

   Jessie - "Hey!"

[Jessie aims the glove directly at Kalvin]

   Jessie - "I told you to back off!"

[Kalvin gets closer to Jessie with a stern look on his face]

   Jessie - "I said-"

[Kalvin grabs Jessie's arm quickly and points it in a different direction]

   Kalvin - "... I’m giving you a chance to-"

   John - "Kalvin”

[Kalvin, being annoyed by John, turns to him while holding Jessie's right arm]

   Kalvin - "What?!"

[Jessie uses her left arm to punch Kalvin in the stomach really hard. Jessie backs away from Kalvin as he cringes to the ground. John stands there in shock]

   John - "(It only took one punch?!)"

   Jessie - "I warned you! Now just walk away and leave me alone!"

   John - "We weren't trying to hurt you ..."

   Jessie - "I don't believe you. I won’t give this up to anyone!"

[Kalvin stands up]

   Kalvin - "Nevertheless, we want that Artifact ... either you give to us or we take it by force."

   John - "I said we'll do things my way."

   Kalvin - "Your way isn't working ... now we're doing it my way."

   Jessie - "I won’t give it you willingly."

[Kalvin begins to collect rock materials on his arms to form spears]

   Kalvin - "Fine by me."

   Jessie - "y-you have them too?"

   Kalvin - "... You had your chance ..."

   John - "Kalvin, wait!"

[Kalvin charges at Jessie but she quickly jumps against the nearby wall then launches herself with the fire glove to get a boost, Kalvin hits the wall instead. She lands on top of the nearby fire escape]

   John - "(Impressive, I’ve never seen anyone dodge an attack like that before.)

   Jessie - "You’ll have to do better than that."

[Kalvin getting angry as Jessie smiles]

   Kalvin - "Just watch me!"

[Kalvin uses the rock underneath him to launch himself on the fire escape but then Jessie leaps off then uses the fire to glide across to the other wall]

   Jessie - "Too slow!"

[Kalvin jumps to where Jessie is at but she then launches herself to each side the walls back and forth; making her way to the top of the building. Kalvin, holding on the wall, uses the rock materials to create handles on the wall to help him climb up. Kalvin begins to climb his way to the roof in order to keep up with Jessie]

   John - "Wait for me!"

[He attempts to jump and reach for the ladder on the fire escape but then it breaks off when he pulls on it, falling to the ground; because he's wearing the super strength Artifact, it broke on contact when he pulled on it]

   John - "Oh, right."

[He then runs into a nearby building and rushes to the elevator. He rapidly clicks on the 'up' button]

   John - "Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Ah, forget it."

[He then runs up the stairs as fast as he could]

[Meanwhile, on the roof of the building they were climbing to: Jessie lands on top of the roof and starts running then Kalvin climbs up on top of the roof soon after. Jessie runs to the edge of the roof and looks at the distance between the building they're on and the one across from it]

   Kalvin - "You can't keep this up. Your life isn't worth losing over an Artifact and you can run but you'll run out of roofs eventually."

[Jessie smirks and then turns to Kalvin]

   Jessie - "Who said i was running?"

[Jessie's Artifact starts to glow and she charges it up. She then releases a blast that fires at Kalvin like a rocket and burning everything in its path]

   Jessie - "... Was that too hot for you?"

[She is then shocked when the smoke clears. A rock wall stands in front of Kalvin, which then crumbles into pieces, he then walks toward Jessie]

   Kalvin - "This is your last chance: give me the glove."

[Kalvin gives a stern look which makes Jessie a little nervous. John breaks through the door of the stairway on the roof and is exhausted]

   John - "... T-there were ... a lot of stairs ... j-just give me ... give me a minute."

[John keep breathing heavily while Kalvin and Jessie just stare at him awkwardly]

   John - "... Ok ... ok, I’m good ..."

   Kalvin - "Anyway ... what’s it gonna be?"

[Jessie slowly backs away from Kalvin then bumps into John and he tries to stop her but she steps away from both of them nearby the edge of the roof]

   John - "You might want to be careful."

   Jessie - "Who are you guys working for? You’re clearly not from the government."

   John - "Who said we were?"

   Kalvin - "We aren't working with anybody, we just collect Artifacts."

   Jessie - "So did they ... are you with them?"

   John - "The government?"

   Jessie - "No, i don't know who they were but they had Artifacts as well."

   Kalvin - "Wait a minute ... what kind of Artifacts?"

   Jessie - "One of them was a glove like mine except it uses ice and the other was a mask-"

[John and Kalvin look at each other; John and Kalvin both realized it must have been Calypso]

   John - "You don't suppose-"

[Kalvin turns to Jessie]

   Kalvin - "Why were they after you?"

   Jessie - "They wanted this. They were trying to steal some Artifacts that belonged to the government, i was there and took one of them, they saw my face. Now I’m certain that both the government and those thieves are trying to hunt me down."

   Kalvin - "They must be with Daniel, he's someone i know that you wouldn't want to mess with, him and several others collect Artifacts like us."

   Jessie - "How do i know you’re not any different than them?"

   Kalvin - "You don't, but they don't give you a choice."

   John - "(It’s not like we gave her much of a choice either ...)"

   Jessie - "I’m giving this to anyone ... not even you. I can't let something like this fall into the wrong hands."

   John - "Please, we can help you. We encountered the person with the mask as well, we can work together-"

   Jessie - "Forget it! I don't need help from anyone, especially not from weirdos like yourselves!"

   Kalvin - "That’s not for you to decide is it?"

   Jessie - "Yes, it is!"

[Jessie uses her Artifact to launch herself over to the next rooftop and starts running away. Kalvin attempts to go after her but John stops him]

   John - "Don’t! She’s scared already, we shouldn't force her into a corner like that."

   Kalvin - "But-"

   John - "We’re supposed to help people, remember?"

   Kalvin - "... fine, but just for the record: if we didn't stop her now ... they will ... and I doubt she would get away from them ..."

[Meanwhile, around the same time: Daniel is talking to Calypso and Serenity]
[Location: unknown; their current hideout]
[Daniel is holding the two Artifacts that Calypso & Serenity took from the government facility]

   Daniel - "... Is this it? Was that all they had?"

[Daniel looks closely at each of them]

   Calypso - "They relocated the remaining somewhere else, I suppose they didn't want to leave them all in one place, but at least we got two of them."

   Serenity (says with a bitter attitude) - "... We could've gotten three ..."

[Calypso looks at Serenity and gets upset that she said that. Daniel puts down the Artifacts and turns to them]

   Daniel - "And why is that?"

   Serenity - "Some girl took it before us and i would've gotten her-"

[Calypso interrupts Serenity and turns to Daniel]

   Calypso - "Our cover was blown and we didn't have to time to chase her ..."

[Calypso turns to Serenity]

   Calypso - "... Our whole operation would've been at sake, which is more important than just another Artifact."

   Serenity - "It was my Artifact! I wouldn't have gone on that mission if you hadn't told me that it was there!"

   Calypso - "You-"

   Daniel - "That’s enough! You both had your reasons but it doesn't matter if we miss one Artifact or dozens, we still have a chance to get them back. We’ll find them all eventually ..."

   Calypso - "What about him? What if he gets them first?"

   Serenity - "Who?"

[Daniel gets angry but tries to keep his temper]

   Daniel - "He won’t be a problem ... in fact ..."

[Daniel turns to Calypso]

   Daniel - "I want you to start tracking him."

   Calypso - "Me? But what about-"

   Daniel - "Don’t worry about the government, we already know they have lots more and it would take forever to track each of them down. The real problem is Kalvin, find out where he's hiding at ... he must still be in the city."

   Serenity - "Kalvin's back?"

   Daniel - "Yes, which is why we must be more cautious when going outside."

   Serenity - "Does Mike know?"

   Daniel - "I’ll tell him personality when the time is right, I’m certain he will do something stupid."

   Serenity - "Whatever you say. I’m going out."

   Calypso - "Where are you going?"

   Serenity - "To look for Artifacts, whether i find it or not."

[Serenity exits. Calypso turns to Daniel]

   Calypso - "What about her?"

   Daniel - "It will be her own fault if she encounters him ... she's almost as reckless as Mike ..."

[Meanwhile, John and Kalvin continue their search]
[Time: unknown; sunset]

   Kalvin - "... I don't think we're going to find any Artifacts in this part of town, let’s just go home."

   John - "We might as well. It’s going to get dark soon."

   Kalvin - "Yea ... why did you let her get away?"

[John being annoyed from Kalvin]

   John - "... Not this again ..."

   Kalvin - "We were so close but no, you-"

   John - "Why are you still bugging me about this? Don’t you have any sympathy for others?

   Kalvin - "You can't be nice to everyone John, they won’t treat you the same."

   John - "You knew it as well as i did: she wasn't going to hurt us, she was just scared."

   Kalvin - "Nobody would be chasing her if she wasn't carrying that Artifact around ... why would she keep it?"

   John - "I don't know. Maybe the same reason we do?"

   Kalvin - "Yea, right."

   John - "Think about, maybe because of that, we just gained a new ally."

   Kalvin - "... Or a new enemy ..."

[Kalvin notices a store with a big hole in the entrance and broken windows]

   Kalvin - "Hey, look over there."

[John looks at the store as they get closer. Kalvin then notices the ice on the floor where the hole was at as they approach the entrance]

   John - "What do you think happened?"

   Kalvin - "See that ice, it has to be an Artifact user."

[They hear someone screaming inside the store]

   John - "Did you hear that?"

   Kalvin - "Come on."

[They run inside through the entrance. the whole inside was frozen with the shelves knocked over and a few people frozen solid. John and Kalvin spot Serenity within the center, nearby the back of the store after freezing someone who was carrying a shield; the resistance shield. John and Kalvin approach her but John stops Kalvin before getting any closer, which makes Kalvin turn to John]

   John - "So, what’s the plan?"

   Kalvin - "I think she's caused enough trouble for just a warning."

[Kalvin then calls out to Serenity, not realizing who she is]

   Kalvin - "Hey! If you want to save yourself from a beating then just give up the Artifact and walk away!"

   John - "You know she's a girl right?"

[Kalvin turns to John]

   Kalvin - "So?"

   John - "You seriously plan on fighting her?"

   Kalvin - "What? Did you think I’d make an exception?"

[Serenity smirks and turns to Kalvin]

   Serenity - "Well, I guess he was right after all ... welcome back, Kalvin."

[Kalvin is surprised while John is confused]

   Serenity - "I didn't think you'd show your face around here again after everything that happened."

   Kalvin - "... I never left in the first place."

[John turns to Kalvin]

   John - "Do you know her?"

   Kalvin - "She’s with Daniel and probably that woman with the mask too."

   Serenity - "How about you go run along unless you want to become a human Popsicle like this guy ... or do you intend to get in my way."

[Serenity shows off her glove, which John notices]

   John - "She also has a glove?"

[Both Kalvin and Serenity are surprised]

   Serenity - "’Also?'"

   Kalvin - "Idiot! Don’t just give away information like that!"

   Serenity - "You found her, didn't you?"

   John - "You will never find her!"

   Serenity - "I don't care about her, I want her Artifact. You have it, don't you?"

   John - "Well-"

[Kalvin gives John an angry look which makes him stop talking]

   Serenity - "Well then, I guess I'll have to force you to give up its location."

   Kalvin - "Good luck! There’s two of us and only one of you!"

   Serenity - "Oh really? Try."

[Kalvin slams his foot on the ice floor and breaks the ice underneath him then he used the rock from underneath and creates spears on both of his hands. He charges in for an attack, using his right arm first but Serenity creates an ice sword and uses it to block that attack. Kalvin then uses his left arm to strike while up-close but she grabs his arm and began to freeze the rock spear solid. She then breaks it off and uses that chunk of ice and hits Kalvin with it, shattering instantly. He steps back from her]

   Serenity - "Is that the best you got?"

[Kalvin gets angry, he charges in with his right spear straight toward her. She creates an ice shield on her left arm and attempts to block the attack, it pierces through the shield which barely hits her but it stops the attack. Then she creates an ice ram on her right arm and hits him in the chest with it that knocks him near where John is standing at. John is surprised and Serenity looks at John]

   Serenity - "What about you? Got any fighting spirit in you?"

   John - "(I guess I have to step in for him. I can't believe how quickly he got beaten by her. Luckily for me, it’s just ice ... and ice is breakable.)"

[John charges at Serenity with his right fist and Serenity attempts to slam into it using the ice ram but it breaks on contact, which surprises her. Then John attempts to hit her with his left fist but she blocks it with the ice shield, which also shatters, pushing her back a little]

   Serenity - "You’re tougher than I thought ..."

[John attempts to attack her but Serenity uses an ice beam to freeze the ground underneath him, which he slides on the floor and unable to balance himself on the ice]

   Serenity - "But only tougher ..."

[Serenity creates an ice sledgehammer and hits John. The sledgehammer shatters instantly when it hit John but it sent him flying back. He lands on the ground and Kalvin struggles to get up]

   Serenity - "Quite embarrassing, isn’t it? I was hoping for a challenge considering everything Daniel said and not to underestimate you, but I’m sure he would get a good laugh about how weak you've become."

   Kalvin - "You already think you've beaten me?"

[Kalvin stands up and looks at Serenity with a serious look]

   Kalvin - "After only getting a few lucky hits, you think that I would be defeated that easily? No, if you want a challenge then you got one."

[Serenity gets angry. Kalvin slams his foot on the ground again to break the ice nearby, he then levitates chunks of rock and throws them at Serenity. She creates and ice sword and slashes each chunk into pieces then, without realizing it, Kalvin charges in for an attack with his arms covered in blunt rock chunks; ideally used for hand-to-hand combat. As Kalvin closes in on the attack Serenity creates an ice shield to block the attack but the shield cracked and pushed her to the ground while still holding up the ice shield. Then Kalvin uses his left arm to hit her with an uppercut punch that breaks the shield and pushes her back but she lands on her feet and scratches the ice floor beneath her. Kalvin breaks apart the rock on his hands and charges at her with the rock following him. Serenity quickly freezes the ground, which would cause him to slip, but Kalvin jumps and while doing so: he uses the rock in the air to assemble on his feet and creating rock shoes that break the ice when he lands on the ice. Serenity is shock and Kalvin charging punches her with his bare hands and pushes her back. Then she creates and throws ice knives at Kalvin, which he instantly blocks it by creating a rock wall from the ground. She then charges at him, with an ice sword she then created, and slashes the wall in half which barely missed Kalvin. He then creates a rock blade on his arm (they're thinner and sharper than the spears) and went to attack her but she blocks it with her sword, then he creates another blade on his other arm, which she creates another ice sword to block the other attack. They both slash each of their weapons to attack and block each other’s attack until both of their weapons clash with the other, then they both push the other back. Serenity goes in for a directly attack but Kalvin breaks the sword with his right blade; she panics. Kalvin uses his left blade to hit her but she blocks it with her other sword then he recreates his right arm into a blunt chunk of rock and then hits her directly with it, which knocks her back to the floor and slides against the floor]

   Kalvin - "You’ve had enough yet?"

[John starts to get up the same time as Serenity does]

   Serenity - "Why ... why didn't you kill me? You could've stabbed me with that blade?"

   Kalvin - "That would be too easy, especially since you’re an ally of Daniel, I expected more from you."

[John approaches Kalvin and stands at his side]

   Serenity - "Don’t make light of me! I still have enough energy to defeat the both of you."

   John - "It’s over, you can barely stand."

   Serenity - "Oh yea? Well luckily for you ..."

[She begins to charge up an ice beam]

   Serenity - "I haven't run out of tricks yet."

[Kalvin then realizes that its similar to the blast Jessie did earlier, but with ice; which he wasn't prepared for]

   Kalvin - "Look o-"

[Serenity unleashes the beam which froze everything in their direction, including John and Kalvin. Serenity smiles with pride as she gets closer to Kalvin]

   Serenity - "I didn't disappoint did I? I not the same weakling you remember me as, I've grown much stronger since then ... maybe I'll become stronger than you someday. Although, I'm certain that with your strength it shouldn't take you more than a few minutes to break out of this, but ..."

[Serenity creates an ice sword and holds towards Kalvin's neck; Kalvin looks at Serenity while frozen]

   Serenity - "I doubt you'll get the chance to-"

[Serenity then notices a light coming from above. She looks up in confusion]

   Serenity - "Huh?"

[A sudden burst of fire slams in-between them and Serenity, which pushes her back. Serenity looks up where the blast came from and spots Jessie gliding down from the roof, using her Artifact, then landing in front of John and Kalvin; at this point the blast only broke off 1/3 of the ice on them, since it was an indirect hit]

   Jessie - "Was I interrupting something?"


Chapter 4 shouldn't take too long to write, although it might be at least a week or 2 until its finished; I only have time to work on these over the weekend.

I understand that this might be a lot to read but I'd like to get some input on how I'm doing with the story or if there is anything I could do to improve it.

« Last Edit: February 06, 2016, 02:04:54 AM by Hope4Future »

Offline Hope4Future

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2016, 10:05:26 PM »
Latest Update: I added more characters and their information at the top (I took out the 'Character Summaries' because I thought they were pointless and didn't describe the characters too much; I instead added 'Additional Facts'). I will update the list each time an addition character appears in the chapters.

Offline Walter B

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2016, 05:44:44 AM »
Quote
I mainly need help coming up with new artifact powers/abilities and other pieces

Torturing Scythe: This scythe's is blade is immaterial, meaning it can't be blocked and goes through the body normally without damaging the tissue. However, whoever is cut by this blade feels three times the pain it would feel from the injury, and the pain doesn't go away for as long as the scythe user remains within 50 meters of distance.


It would be cool as the weapon for some kid of sadistic witch who enjoys torturing her enemies. After being cut the enemy would feel tremendous pain from his gut being ripped open or his arm cut off, even if there is no actual body damage.

Seismic shoes: User can feel vibrations from the floor and get an idea of all people and objects present within a certain radius (think toph from avatar). Kicking the floor can create small quakes.

Black hole portal: Creates two small black holes that are connected. One can absorb any kind of projectiles (bullets, fire, ice shards, etc) and the other one reflects it back in any direction. If someone shots an energy beam for example the user makes a black hole that swallows the beam and it can redirect it back at the enemy. The black holes can't swallow people or body parts, just projectiles.

Pipe: A pipe that produces a huge amount of smoke if blown trough. Can be used as a smoke cover to escape or create a diversion somehow.

Jetpack: Self explanatory.

Extra arms. An extra pair of metallic arms with a lot of strength and power. Think Goro from mortal kombat.

Doctor syringe. A couple of special syringes used by a medical member of the team. Green and red one.

 The green one is a healing syringe. Anyone injected with it gets the equivalent of a week worth of medical treatment: Wounds start to heal, blood and nutrients are instantly replenished, etc. Gets you in good shape if you are injured basically.

The red one is the amphetamine syringe. Anyone injected with it gets a temporary strength, speed and stamina boost. It also gets really angry (goes berserk so to say). After a few minutes the strength goes away and the user crashes, leaving him super exhausted.   

Good luck with your stuff!!!!
« Last Edit: January 22, 2016, 06:06:51 AM by Walter B »

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2016, 10:41:21 PM »
torturing scythe: i like the concept idea with the scythe, being immaterial and all, but i'm not sure about its ability to make people feel the invisible injuries it deals. i do have an idea of a character to wield the scythe about halfway through the story, not a major role but he will make things interesting ... i can promise that much. *evil laugh*  :devil:

seismic shoes: that power matches up well with Kalvin's artifact (earth manipulation) but if the idea stands on its own well enough then i'll separate them into two different artifacts.

black hole portal: ah i see, the old "right back at you" kind of power. i'm just uncertain about two black holes being opened at the same time; i do like the idea though. i best see the black hole idea going with a bow and arrow.

pipe: of course! i'm surprised i didn't think of this myself. i'm certain i'll add this one to the list for those particular situations.

jetpack: hmm ... i do already have flight ... but i like the concept ... idk about it yet.

extra arms: can't go wrong with extra arms ... but i have no idea what kind of piece it should be.

doctor syringe: a fine piece but its abilities implied are very similar to a number of artifacts already on the list. also, the syringes itself kinda defeats the purpose of the artifacts; the point being you wear/hold them to gain their abilities instead of receiving them into their body, otherwise it wouldn't be transferable.



no doubt about it that you put a lot of thought towards it and given me some great ideas that you should see in the story. thank you for taking the time to help me.   ;D
« Last Edit: February 05, 2016, 03:50:48 AM by Hope4Future »

Offline Walter B

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2016, 08:32:29 AM »
Your are welcome :)

Just came up with another one: A boomerang. You throw it and it has a lot of kinetic energy so it hits very hard, and it always comes right back to you.

I read chapter one and I liked the fight scene between strong guy and rock guy very much (by the way those numbers like that made it a bit difficult to read IMO). You can write really cool fight scenes  ;).

I didn't find it very realistic that a guy who has never used an artifact would be able to beat an experienced artifact user like that, but is a minor thing. The typical "main character who is insanely talented for no reason" is very cliche in manga. 

I'm not sure what to think about the way you have your main character find the ring. If rock guy knew the artifact was in that store why didn't he just went in and bought it or took it from the jeweler. Why wait until some customer buys it and then try to steal it from him?

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2016, 02:18:37 PM »
A boomerang. You throw it and it has a lot of kinetic energy so it hits very hard, and it always comes right back to you.

very nice! and its own power speaks for itself too.  ;D

I read chapter one and I liked the fight scene between strong guy and rock guy very much (by the way those numbers like that made it a bit difficult to read IMO). You can write really cool fight scenes  ;).

yea, i'm terrible with names but i already had the story set up so i figured i'd deal with that later; i'm working on the names now and i even have some ideas, i'll post what i have so far soon .... lastly:  :dance:

I didn't find it very realistic that a guy who has never used an artifact would be able to beat an experienced artifact user like that, but is a minor thing. The typical "main character who is insanely talented for no reason" is very cliche in manga.

yea ... it wasn't my original intention but it ended up looking like a cliché. he's still a newbie at it, he just wasn't fully aware of what he was doing. (ex: when his eyes glowed, that's most likely gonna be a one time thing for him; at least until he's more experienced.)

I'm not sure what to think about the way you have your main character find the ring. If rock guy knew the artifact was in that store why didn't he just went in and bought it or took it from the jeweler. Why wait until some customer buys it and then try to steal it from him?

there were a lot of little reasons but that is true, it would've been easier if he had just stolen it from the store instead. i'll look into that and hopefully can make it work without any major changes to the story.



i'm glad you were able read some of the chapters. thanks again for your input!  ;D
« Last Edit: January 23, 2016, 07:54:23 PM by Hope4Future »

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2016, 09:11:45 PM »
I still have much more to do, but here it is: Chapter 4 ... sort of ...

I've been having some trouble with Chapter 4 (and Chapter 5, as far as planning it out) but I thought for now I'd post what I have finished and add in the rest later. let me know what you think ...

Chapter 4: The New Member (uncertain about the title)
{continuing from Chapter 3 ...}
[Location: inside an unknown store; the inside being entirely frozen with shelves knocked over and several people frozen solid]
[Shows Jessie in front of John & Kalvin still frozen but part of the ice was broken off while Serenity stood across from Jessie, still surprised to see her show up at the worst time. Serenity gets angry]

   Serenity - "You! You’re the one who stole that Artifact from me!"

   Jessie - "I didn't steal it from you ... I just stole it before you could."

   Serenity - "You fiend! Hand over that Artifact!"

   Jessie - "Make me."

[Serenity shoots an ice beam at Jessie but she dodges it and runs around Serenity while shooting fire balls at her. Serenity creates an ice shield which blocks most of them and nearly breaking the shield but then she blasts an ice beam in Jessie’s direction. Jessie blasts the ground below her and while in mid-air she shoots more fireballs, which Serenity blocks with the ice shield; soon after it breaks. Serenity then throws ice knives at Jessie but she dodges them by gliding past them. Jessie stops gliding and slides down the slanted shelf onto the floor to avoid getting hit by Serenity’s knifes. Jessie charges at Serenity using the Artifact to rocket herself forward but Serenity creates another ice shield which Jessie hits and cracks it on impact. Jessie follows it up with a fire blast unclose, which breaks the shield and pushing Serenity back. The ice around John and Kalvin is melting. Jessie charges in for an additional hit but Serenity creates an ice sword and slashes toward Jessie as she backs away from it. Jessie blocks it with the fire glove, since it’s made out of metal, then the sword begins to melt as she grinds past it and attempts to hit Serenity up-close. Just before Jessie attempts to hit Serenity, she creates an ice ram up-close and hits Jessie with it, which knocks her to the ground]

   Serenity - "Stupid girl! You can't match my power alone!"

[Serenity throws ice knives at Jessie but a rock wall comes out of the ground in front of Jessie and blocks the knives. Jessie and Serenity are both shocked, they see Kalvin broke out of the ice and stands nearby Jessie]

   Kalvin - "She isn’t alone, there’s three of us against yourself ... and I don't think you have the energy to keep going."

   Serenity - "(Crap, I just barely took care of him too. There’s no chance of me getting that glove now, I'll have to escape while i still can.)"

[Kalvin throws rock shards at Serenity, which she blocks with an ice shield she created but it broke instantly and some of the shards hit her. Then Jessie shoots a fire beam at Serenity, but she spots the resistance shield nearby and picks it up to block the blast. Serenity steps away from them as Kalvin throws more rock shards while Jessie shoots fireballs at her but she blocks their attacks with the resistance shield]

   Serenity - "Let’s do this again sometime."

[Serenity charges up an ice beam and creates a giant ice wall in front of her]

   Jessie - "I got it!"

[Jessie starts shooting a beam of fire at the wall but at this point John breaks free and charges past them toward the wall; which surprised Jessie. John crashes into the ice wall and then hits the back of the store wall as well, he looks around but there seems to be no sign of Serenity anywhere. Jessie look at Kalvin surprised]

   Jessie - "How did he do that?"

   Kalvin - "He also has an Artifact: super strength."

   Jessie - "Oh ..."

   John - "She’s gone."

   Kalvin - "It’s probably for the best, I didn't have much energy left anyway, but next time-"

   Jessie - "*ahem*"

[John and Kalvin turn to Jessie]

   Jessie - "Isn't anyone gonna thank me?"

   Kalvin - "'Thank you?' For what?"

   Jessie - "For saving your life, what else would I mean?"

   Kalvin - "Seriously? I did a lot of the work, you just showed up at the last minute and finished it."

   Jessie - "Yea, aka: the part where I saved your frozen ass!"

   John - "Why did you help us anyway?"

   Jessie - "Hmm, I don't know. I saw you guys needed help. I mean, you guys weren't trying to kill me and I didn't see any reason not to help out ... but really, I just wanted to be a part of the action."

   Kalvin - "I wouldn't consider us being even just yet."

   Jessie - "Oh, how so?"

   Kalvin - "You still haven't given us your artifact yet."

   Jessie - "I thought I told you the first time that I'm not giving this to you!"

   Kalvin - "Well if you think you can run away again-"

   Jessie - "Why would I? I'll fight you right here, right now."

[Kalvin cracks his knuckles]

   Kalvin - "I suppose I could spare a little energy to put you in your place."

   Jessie - "'A little?' That’s probably all you have left!"

   Kalvin - "That’s all I need!"

[As Kalvin and Jessie glare at each other, John comes to a sudden realization]

   John - "That’s it! She can join our team!"

[Kalvin and Jessie both look at John confused]

   Kalvin and Jessie - "Huh?"

   John - "Think about it, we can all be on the same team."

   Jessie - "'Team?'"

   Kalvin - "Excuse us for a minute ..."

[Kalvin drags John aside]

   Kalvin - "What are you doing?"

   John - "Collecting potential team members."

   Kalvin - "We can't just take her in with us!"

   John - "Why not?"

   Kalvin - "Because ... we don’t know her."

   John - "I don’t know you ..."

   Kalvin - "She could be dangerous ..."

   John - "So could you!"

   Kalvin - "Well ... I don’t trust her."

   John - "I don’t trust you either! How is she any different than you?"

[Jessie interrupts]

   Jessie - "What’s this about a team?"

[John & Kalvin turn to Jessie]

   Kalvin - "Do you mind?!"

   John - "We’re forming a team to collect Artifacts ..."

   Jessie - "Collecting Artifacts? Why?"

   Kalvin - "None of your business, that's why!"

   John - "To prevent people from using these things for evil purposes."

[Kalvin turns to John]

   Kalvin - "Whose side are you on?! It’s not your decision to make!"

   Jessie - "'Evil purposes' eh?"

   John - "What wrong with her joining? Isn’t it better if we get more people instead of just collecting their Artifacts? You saw her fight, she'd be perfect for the job."

   Kalvin - "That's-"

   Jessie - "I'll do it!"

   Kalvin - "What?!"

   John - "Awesome! You-"

   Kalvin - "Wait a minute, that’s not how this works! We need to settle this in a vote."

   Jessie - "Sorry, but two against one buddy."

   Kalvin - "Team members vote only."

   John - "So, if I'm for it, wouldn't that make it a tie?"

   Kalvin - "Then nothing happens."

   Jessie - "Oh come on! Stop being so childish!"

   John - "What did she ever do to you?"

   Kalvin - "Look John, we need to live by the rules-"

   John - "What rules?"

[Kalvin glares at John]

   Kalvin - "... The ones i just made up."

   Jessie - "Are you serious?!"

   Kalvin - "You aren't a member yet, so we have to go over some rules before-"

   Jessie - "'Yet?'"

[Kalvin is surprised by what he said. Jessie begins to smirk]

   Jessie - "Hmm, it sounds like it’s going to happen one way or the other, isn’t it?"

[John smiles. Kalvin is upset]

   Kalvin - "*sighs* ... Fine, but we live by my rules starting today!"

   Jessie - "Like what?"

   Kalvin - "Rule number 1: each person is issued only one Artifact, the rest go with the collection."

   John - "Collection?"

   Kalvin - "Rule number 2: collecting Artifacts is the number 1 priority, above all else."

   Jessie - "Seriously?"

   Kalvin - "Rule number 3: ... uh ..."

   John - "Could we just go home?"

   Kalvin - "... Alright."

   Jessie - "Um, where do you guys live at?"

   Kalvin - "None of your business."

   John - "Just a couple of blocks down the street."

   Kalvin - "Why would you tell her that?"

   John - "Because were team members ... how else would we meet?"

   Kalvin - "..."

   Jessie - "Um ... is it ok if i stay with you guys?"

   Kalvin - "No-"

   John - "Don’t you have a place to stay?"

   Jessie - "Yea, but I’m worry that, since the government must still be searching for me, that i might not be safe there."

   John - "Well-

   Kalvin - "Absolutely not-"

   John - "Will you stop it? My apartment, my rules."

[John turns to Jessie]

   John - "You can but i only have 2 bedrooms. I mean, i guess i could-"

   Jessie - "That’s fine, I’ll just sleep on the couch."

   John - "You sure?"

   Jessie - "Yea, i don’t want to be a bother ..."

   Kalvin - "Too late."

[John nudges Kalvin]

   John - "It’s no trouble at all."

   Jessie - "Thanks, I really appreciate it ... my name is Jessie by the way."

   John - "Nice to meet you, I’m John and this-"

[John points to Kalvin but he's leaning his head against the wall, face first, as he mumbles to himself]

   Kalvin - "..."

[John and Jessie stand there confused by his weird behavior]

   John - "... Very self-loathing person is Kalvin."

[They ignore Kalvin]

   John - "Do you need to pick up anything at your house?"

   Jessie - "No, not really. I got everything i need already. Plus, it wouldn't be safe to go back anyway."

   Kalvin - "... Speak for yourself ..."

[Kalvin moves away from the wall and approaches them]

   Jessie - "Are you going to be an ass about everything?"

   Kalvin - "Nothing personal, but this team of ours isn't just all fun and games, you'll have to work hard if you want to keep up with us."

[John glares at Kalvin, knowing how wrong he is]

   Jessie - "If you’re supposed to be the leader than it shouldn't be too hard for me to keep up if i can beat you."

   Kalvin - "First of all: i am the leader and secondly: I’m a lot stronger than I look."

   Jessie - "Your the leader? What about John?"

   John - "What about me?"

   Jessie - "I had just assumed you were the leader."

   Kalvin - "Don’t be ridiculous."

   John - "What’s that supposed to mean?"

   Kalvin - "You’re still new to the whole Artifact thing and i don't think you have what it takes."

[Kalvin then turns to Jessie]

   Kalvin - "And you, how long did it take for you to learn that Artifacts abilities?"

[Jessie being a little embarrassed but tries to hide it]

   Jessie - "...Today."

   Kalvin - "Exactly. Needless to say, I have more experience, strength, and knowledge than both of you combined. If you think I’m lying, then just try to take me down."

[Jessie steps forward but John stops her. John looks doubtful and Jessie continues to glare at Kalvin]

   Kalvin - "That’s what I thought."

[Jessie continues to look upset at Kalvin]

[Meanwhile, at Daniel's current hideout, Serenity is talking to Daniel, who was sitting down, with Calypso nearby. Serenity throws the shield to Daniel's feet]

   Serenity - "I had him ... I could've killed him if she didn't interfere!"

[Serenity then turns to Calypso]

   Serenity - "We should have dealt with her when we had the chance!"

   Calypso - "Do you not understand how dangerous that would've been while the government is chasing after us?! We escaped when we had the chance and I’m sick of you blaming me for what happened. I made a calculated choice and we-"

   Serenity - "We could've taken them down too, instead of just hiding!"

[Daniel stands up in rage]

   Daniel - "That’s enough! Please, just tell us what happened."

   Serenity - "I found the shield then Kalvin and some kid was with him-"

   Calypso - "What did he look like?"

   Serenity - "I don't have to-"

   Daniel - "Serenity! ... What did he look like?"

   Serenity - "Why does that matter?"

[Daniel points Calypso to Serenity]

   Daniel - "She also confronted someone who was defending Kalvin ... most likely the same person ..."

   Serenity - "He had super strength ..."

   Calypso (she whispered under her breath) - "Damn!"

   Daniel - "What about the girl? What was she using?"

   Serenity - "The fire glove that was at the research facility, we saw her there and she took it before us."

   Daniel - "And she helped him too?"

   Serenity - "I guess."

   Daniel - "Then this can't be a coincidence. If what your saying is true, then he must be getting allies to join his cause ... they might even be planning to attack us. For now on, we can't go alone and we can't let them track down our location either, otherwise everything we've worked so hard for would be all for nothing."

[Someone appears at the doorway]

   Mike - "... So, he’s back?"

[Calypso and Serenity are surprised as they look in that direction. Mike enters and approaches them]

   Daniel - "Mike-"

   Mike - "And nobody even bothered to tell me?"

[Mike looks around the room]

   Mike - "Well?!"

   Daniel - "The situation has changed, he has allies now ..."

   Mike - "So? Why does that matter to us? Aren’t we supposed to be fearless and powerful, then why are we avoiding him? Why don't we just attack him?"

   Daniel - "If we knew where he was then we would."

   Mike - "We don't need to find him ... we just have to lure him out of his cave."

[Mike walks to the exit]

   Daniel - "Where are you going?"

   Mike - "I’m going to finish this once and for all!"

   Daniel - "You can't! We need a pl-"

[Mike exits and slams the door behind him]

   Calypso - "Should we stop him?"

[Serenity turns to Calypso]

   Serenity - "... You could try, he's dangerous when he gets this angry ..."

   Daniel - "No, we'll just keep an eye on him ... if he wants to get killed than that's his problem but don't drag us down too ..."

[Daniel turns to Calypso]

   Daniel - "Get William for me ..."

[Meanwhile, just outside of John's apartment, John opens the door]

   John - "... Here we are, home sweet home."

[Jessie looks around]

   Jessie (she says to herself) - "Not bad ..."

[Kalvin already jumps onto the couch]

   Jessie - "Already making yourself at home I see ..."

   Kalvin - "Today was exhausting."

   John - "We barely did anything."

   Kalvin - "It was from all that walking around ... and barely any fights."

[Jessie looks at a picture frame with John and Melissa on it]

   Jessie - "Who is this?"

   John - "My girlfriend."

   Kalvin - "... Or so he says ..."

   John - "I’m not going over this again  ..."

   Kalvin - "It could be fake ..."

   John - "It’s not!"

   Jessie - "Does she live here too?"

   John - "Uh ... no."

   Jessie - "How come? ... I mean, you clearly have an extra bed that I doubt he brought here."

   Kalvin - "His was better ..."

   John - "Well, I mean ... that was the plan, especially since my old roommate left I would've but-"

   Kalvin - "You got anything to eat here?"

[Kalvin goes to the kitchen]

   John - "... Then he showed up ..."

   Jessie - "I see ... alright, so what is this team really about? Is there anything important I should know?"

[Jessie finds a chair and sits down. Kalvin shows up again with a plate of food and goes back to the couch]

   Kalvin - "Simple: do as I say, beat up anyone with Artifacts, save mankind."

   Jessie - "Ok, I’ll let the 'do as I say' thing slide, but I still don't understand why we have to fight other Artifact users."

   John - "Well, considering these things have a great amount of power and with only so many around, people become in desperate need of them. Our job is to take that away from them so that people wouldn't abuse its power."

   Jessie - "Makes sense, but what about the government?"

   Kalvin - "What do they have to do with this?"

   Jessie - "Well, the government is collecting these things too and for all we know they could be using their power for evil as well."

   Kalvin - "That doesn't really matter, the fact that they already put their efforts on it and ignored the people in the slums, they really couldn't do much worse than they already have."

   Jessie - "I know they did but-"

   Kalvin - "Also, the government itself doesn't care what happens to us because these things have been around for a year and they didn't do a damn thing to stop anyone from using them. If they don't, then we have to."

   Jessie - "Don’t you see? They could be the potential threat as well, they could get away with anything as it is, and with these Artifacts in their possession ... they can be far more dangerous."

   John - "It’s one thing to go after a few people with Artifacts but we can't fight the government on this."

   Jessie - "Why not? We now have the necessary tools to do so, if we just-"

[Kalvin stands up as he gets upset with Jessie]

   Kalvin - "look, I don't know how else to tell you this but it's out of our range. I would like them to do something about the slums but they won’t. Believe me, they don't care what happens to us, so we just have to fight our own battles. If you want to challenge the government then go ahead ... but you’re wasting your time."

[Jessie glares at Kalvin. he rolls his eyes in response]

   Kalvin - "Ugh, whatever ... I’m going out, I’ll be back in a couple of hours."

   John - "Do you want us to come with you?"

   Kalvin - "No, I’m fine on my own."

   John - "Well I could-"

[Kalvin whispers to John]

   Kalvin - "I need you to watch the Artifacts ... I don't trust her here alone. Got it?"

   John - "Oh, ok."

[Kalvin closes the door behind him. Jessie gets more upset]

   Jessie - "Screw him!"

[She stands up and starts pacing around]

   Jessie - "He shouldn't treat me like some stupid child!"

   John - "Look, he might not look the part but he means well."

   Jessie - "Oh yea? How much do really know about him?"

   John - "Well ... enough."

   Jessie - "I don't trust him ..."

   John - "(Sounds about right ...)"

   Jessie - "I mean, he's just so annoying. Treats everyone like they're nothing compared to him."

   John - "I’m sure he doesn't."

   Jessie - "How can you be so sure? Do you trust him?"

   John - "Um ..."

   Jessie - "That’s exactly what I’m talking about, we're supposed to be team members and I can't even get my foot in the door without him interfering. Did you see how he treats me?"

   John - "He doesn't know you ... in fact I don't know you either ... and you barely met us."

   Jessie - "I don't think there is anything else i need to know ... in fact, you’re different. You’re not like him, are you?"

   John - "Not really ..."

   Jessie - "Then why did you decide to work alongside him without knowing who he really is? Why would you get me involved as well?"

   John - "Because I see the good in people and you might have doubts, but I know you know how different he is compared to the woman with the ice glove ... otherwise, you wouldn't have joined ..."

   Jessie - "I suppose ... but that isn't enough information to separate the good from the bad. You can't just assume people are good on the inside just because they look like it on the outside."

   John - "Then what does that make you?"

[Jessie ponders on what John is saying, she then turns to John]

   Jessie - "I guess there's no point in denying it ... but if I must, then I won’t be taking orders from him ... and I suggest you do the same ..."

[Meanwhile, Kalvin walking down the street]
[Time: night; recently after the sunset]

   Kalvin - "(... Damn it John! Why did you have to tell Jessie about the team? ... And why the hell would you let her off with a warning in the first place! She’s too ... too ...)"

[Kalvin sighs as he looks around the area and sees nobody in sight. he continues to walk]

   Kalvin - "(what's the point, it's not like I was any different ... I mean, what wouldn't i have done to give the government a piece of my mind but that won’t accomplish anything. She still has a lot to learn ... so does John, he needs to know how dangerous people are and who can be trusted. He can be trusted, he's practically harmless ... which makes him the perfect protégé ... although-)"

[Kalvin suddenly stops in his tracks and turns around, he sees someone that was peeking from the alleyway but quickly vanished. Kalvin runs to the alleyway and again sees someone fleeing from him]

   Kalvin - "(Was that ...)"

[Kalvin continues to chase after the person]

[Meanwhile, John & Jessie still inside the apartment in mid-conversation. Jessie sits down at the couch, across from where John was at, with a glass of water in her hand]

   Jessie - "... So he lived in the slums, eh? To think him of all people would be more ... well, considerate."

[Jessie takes a sip of the water and then puts it down]

   John - "That’s what i don't understand either. Why do think that is?"

   Jessie - "I don't know, but to have several people wanting you dead ... he must have some demons."

   John - "You think so?"

   Jessie - "Of course, what else could he have done to deserve it? There’s no small reason behind it ..."

[Jessie turns away briefly but then looks at John directly]

   Jessie - "Tell me something: when we first met ... would he have tried to kill me?"

[John is surprised by her question. he thinks back when Kalvin nearly attacked Jessie before she rocketed away. he then remembers the first time John & Kalvin met, when he killed the person who was pointing a gun at them and also the homeless man who gave up the Artifact out of fear as John & Kalvin were arguing with each other. John ponders on this while still surprised but then straightens his expression with an answer]

   John - "Yes ... but only if he had to ..."

[Jessie became quiet by his answer]

   Jessie - "There you have it ..."

[John was a little confused by what she meant]

   Jessie - "If there are people who want him dead, then he must have been dangerous ..."

[John was surprised as they both went quiet]

[meanwhile, at a dam just outside of the city. Kalvin is on top of the dam, approaching the figure who isn't seen at this point. he stops and sees Mike as the mysterious figure, with his hands in his pockets carelessly. they both glared at each other while Mike has a mischievous smile on his face]

   Kalvin - "I knew it was you Mike. What do you want?"

   Mike - "’What do i want?’ You should know me better than that."

[Kalvin with a sudden plain look]

   Kalvin - "... You just want to kill me too? You all are just so full of it."

   Mike - "Maybe but this is my own will, none of them would be bold enough to fight you alone."

   Kalvin - "I guess, but seriously you guys need to learn from your mistakes ... I’ve changed and I’m stronger than ever. Not to mention that I easily defeated two of your allies without breaking a sweat."

   Mike - "That was different: they were weak and you had help ... but there's nobody else here, just you and me."

   Kalvin - "What’s made you so cocky?"

   Mike - "I too have gotten stronger ... and my Artifact is quite similar than-"

[Kalvin quickly breaks apart rock from beneath him and makes rock blades on both of his hands as he charges at Mike]

   Kalvin - "Then don't hold back!"

[as Kalvin charges toward Mike, who makes no attempt to respond to his actions but only with a plain look on his face, he then smirks. when he does, a wave came from the water behind the damn and just before Kalvin saw it, it hit Kalvin and nearly pushed him off the ledge of the damn but Kalvin uses his blades to scratch the ground to keep him from falling over. Kalvin looks back at the ledge where he would've fallen and turns back to Mike. Kalvin is surprised to see that streams of water were surrounding Mike as he smiles at Kalvin; while Mike's hands were still in his pockets]

   Mike - "That’s right ... you might be able to control the earth, but I control the seas 
..."

[At this point Mike rolls up his left sleeve to find his Artifact being a silver gauntlet; just like Kalvin's but on the opposite Arm. Kalvin is surprised by this realization as they both continue to stand-off against each other]


also, I've made a few changes ...

UPDATES:
- I've edited several conversations within Chapter 1, 2, and 3 (nothing major, just changed some of the words used); also, corrected some grammar and spelling errors (... just 'cause ...)
- I moved the beginning section of Ch.2 to the end of Ch.1 and the ending section of Ch.3 (involving Jessie) to the beginning of Ch.4
- I've shorten/taken out some unnecessary content in Ch.3 so it wont be too long


LATEST UPDATE: 1/30/2016
- finished Ch.4



I'll attempt to finish Chapter 4 another time and hopefully get to Chapter 5 soon ... until then, leave your thoughts below.  ;D

« Last Edit: February 06, 2016, 05:39:28 PM by Hope4Future »

Offline Hope4Future

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2016, 10:31:42 PM »
once again, here's the next chapter ... Chapter 5!

Chapter 5: Tempest
[Location: on top of a dam just outside of the city]
[Glaring at each other is Kalvin with rock blades while near the edge of the dam and Mike with streams of water hovering around him while showing off his Artifact on his left Arm. Mike lowers his hands as he looks around him with a smirk on his face]

   Mike - "Isn't it funny that we're here of all places: a giant stone of rock blocking against the constant waves behind it ... how long do you think this dam would hold against such a force?"

   Kalvin - "Enough with the clichés already! ... You led me here remember?"

[Mike's smirk quickly went away by that answer and was replaced with exhausted expression while glaring at Kalvin]

   Mike - "... You’re no fun ..."

[Then, with a change in mood, Mike directs his arm to Kalvin and a small stream of water shot at Kalvin like a spear but he leaned away to avoid getting hit by it. Kalvin dodged it but it still nearly hit his left arm and left a flesh wound as it passed. Kalvin quickly charged at Mike but he shot two more stream spears at Kalvin as he dodged them both. Mike lowers his hands and concentrates as the water arose and surrounds him like a tornado. Kalvin strikes his blade at the water tornado but struggled to get through as the tornado got stronger with more water. Kalvin's blade then breaks and he is tossed aside by the tornados force. Mike then evaporates the tornado around him and puts his hands back in his pockets carefree as he looks at Kalvin trying to get up again]

   Mike - "Is that all you got? This is starting to get boring."

   Kalvin - "... I’m just getting started!"

[Kalvin recreates another rock blade on his arms but then he just noticed more water surrounding Mike and then what appears to be four water tentacles ready to strike while pointing at Kalvin]

   Mike - "Well? I’m waiting ..."

[Kalvin gets angry and charges at Mike. He attempts to go straight to attack Mike but the water tentacles blocked his attacks. Kalvin then tries to cut through the tentacles but his blade just passed through it. He fights off the tentacles as much as possible while barely trying to strike at Mike, who stands with a bored look on his face. Eventually, one of the tentacles disarms Kalvin and then another strikes Kalvin which knocks him to the ground once more. Kalvin struggles to get up as Mike grins]

   Mike - "You always love to bark louder than your bite ... aren't you as strong as you say you are? ... And you said that you defeated my comrades without breaking a sweat? ... Then I shall treat you the same, by showing you my power without putting in any worthy effort into it ... but do you really stand a chance?"

   Kalvin - "I may talk big ... but your over confidence gets the best of you too, as if I’d put my full strength into a fight like this. Like you've been saying before: this dam is just like us but this wall isn't struggling to hold back the water ... it has complete control over it."

[Mike is surprised by his answer. Just then, Mike notices the ground starts to rumble and suddenly a small rock pillar arises from below him and strikes him right in the chin. Kalvin is then seen nearly charging at Mike with blunt chunks of rock on his arms and strikes Mike, which throws him across to the ground. Mike is surprised as he gets up]

   Mike - "(How is that possible?! ... No, no it was just a lucky shot ... but just in case ...)"

[Mike grins as he looks at Kalvin, who is standing there with a fierce look in his eyes]

   Mike - "You certainly do put up a good fight ..."

[Water surrounds Mike's arms into mini tornados and ready to strike at Kalvin]

   Mike - "But now it's time for the real fight begins."

   Kalvin - "It’s about time."

[They both charge at each other at the same time. They each deals punches to each other one after another. At one point, Kalvin is thrown aback while still standing but then Mike attempts to hit once again with the mini water tornados on his arms. Kalvin dodges both punches but is then hit by the third. Mike goes for another punch with his left arm but Kalvin counters it with his left arm by upper cutting Mike before it strikes. Soon after Mike uses the mini water tornado on his left arm and extends it, which punches Kalvin at the same time. They are both thrown aback and breathing heavily while glaring at each other as they regain their energy]

   Kalvin - "I’m surprised to see you actually fighting at my level for once ..."

   Mike - "I was always good at fighting, I’ve just been going easy on you the whole time."

   Kalvin - "Why is that?"

   Mike - "Because you weren't worth my time, you were still a child that needed to learn ... a few bruises is nothing compared to the scars you left on me- ... no, to all of us."

[Kalvin is upset by Mike's answer]

   Kalvin - "I never-"

   Mike - "Don’t make light of it! You knew exactly what you were doing from the very beginning and you played us all! Have you no sympathy?!"

   Kalvin - "..."

[Kalvin attempts to respond but remains silent]

   Mike - "Well?! Answer me!"

[Mike then uses the water on the floor and strikes at Kalvin from below like a crashing wave. Mike once again blasts him with more collected water as it hurtles Kalvin to the ground]

   Mike (as he repeats the process over and over again) - "Tell me! Tell me! Tell me damn it!"

[Mike then stops and continues to breathe heavily as Kalvin lies on the ground with no response. Mike then notices Kalvin suddenly spits out some water and gasps for air as he sits up from the ground. Kalvin looks at Mike with a fierce look on his eyes once more]

   Kalvin - "... You don't ... deserve it ..."

   Mike - "What? What is that supposed to mean?"

   Kalvin (as he stands up slowly) - "You don't deserve ... my sympathy. None of you do."

[Mike gets upset by his response as the water nearby him starts to levitate]

   Kalvin - "You don't deserve to act so hurt just because of a small part I played ... it was your own fault ... and the only thing you will accomplish by defeating me ... is denial."

[Mike becomes angry as even more collects around him, until finally ...]

   Mike - "Shut up!!!"

[The water then crashes rapidly at the sound of his voice as all of it collects around Mike in a fierce and deadly water tornado. Mike begins to be swept up by the water as he gives a fierce look at Kalvin then the tornado extends multiple larger water tentacles. Kalvin, staring at the large water tornado with the water tentacles and Mike in the center of it all, stands up tall and ready to strike with no rock on him]

   Mike - "If you don't drown then I will crush you in the depths by my own will! Now die!"

[One of Mike's water tentacles slams down where Kalvin is at but he quickly dodges it. Mike follows up by two more attacks by the water tentacles but Kalvin dodges those as well and gets swept up the water as it crashes]

   Mike - "Why won’t you just die?!"

[Another tentacle strikes at Kalvin and tosses him aside, but he looks up and dodges the following strike. Kalvin charges at Mike as he steers away from the attacks dealt to him]

   Mike - "You think you stand a chance?! Think again!"

[A water tentacles crashes down on Kalvin directly from above. Mike grins but as he moves the water tentacle that hit Kalvin, he is nowhere to be found]

   Mike - "What?! Where did you go?!"

[Beneath the floor, behind Mike's water tornado, launches Kalvin from the ground with blunt chunks of rock on his arms as he aims for Mike but he uses nearby water to smack Kalvin into the barrier of the tornado; Kalvin is not seen at this point. Mike looks around to find where he landed at but he was nowhere then Mike looks around inside the water tornado as he is still nowhere in sight. Mike continues to looks for him but suddenly, breaking through the tornado barrier, was Kalvin charging at Mike. Kalvin cries a fierce roar as Mike is seen surprised and Kalvin then tackles Mike, which they both launched out of the water tornado Mike made. While Kalvin was still holding on to Mike, they both were heading for the water behind the dam. While doing so, the water tornado collapsed as the water from it followed their direction behind them. They both dived into the water behind the dam with the collected water behind them shortly crashed on impact as well. Because of the blunt chunks of rock on Kalvin's arms, they both sink into the water as Kalvin continues to hold onto Mike. Kalvin then combines the two chunks into a single piece; locking Mike and forcing them both to sink into the water. Mike struggles to escape]

   Mike - "(Is he insane?! He’ll kill us both!)

[Mike tries to use the water to strike Kalvin constantly as they sink deeper and deeper but Kalvin resists. As Mike struggles even more, as he becomes more and more desperate to escape. But suddenly Mike's eyes lit up with sheer anger and by doing so, it surprises Kalvin]

   Mike - "AAHHHH!!!"

[Mike screams while drowning and the water starts to forcibly lift them both to the surface. They are both then launched out of the water and thrown to the ground, gasping for air. Kalvin starts to get up and looks at Mike while he coughs up water]

   Kalvin - "(Was that what I think it was?)"

[Kalvin remembers Mike's eyes lighting up just momentarily but then remembers when John's eyes lit up as well, after they first met]

   Kalvin - "(That must have been the same thing as before ... which also involved an Artifact ... what is this ability they were using? And how is it that they learned it before me?)"

[Kalvin approaches Mike, who is still coughing up water, but suddenly a bolt of lightning strikes the ground of where Kalvin was at and was electrocuted because of the puddle of water at his feet. Kalvin falls to the ground. Kalvin struggles to look up as notices a thuggish figure in a trench coat who approaches Mike. Kalvin recognized him instantly as William]

   William - "Come on Mike, we need to go."

[William puts his hand on Mike's back but he smacks it away in anger]

   Mike (as he stands up and then turns to Kalvin) - "No! I got this! I can still defeat him!"

[William stops him and Mike smacks his arm away again as he turn to William]

   William - "We don't have time. The police noticed a disturbance up here because of your water based performance. They’ll be here any minute, so we need to leave now. Let the police deal with him."

[Kalvin continues to look at them both will little strength as Mike gets upset. Mike looks at William]

   Mike - "Fine!"

[Mike then turns to Kalvin, who is still on the ground as he tries to get up]

   Mike - "This isn't over. We’ll just have to postpone your defeat for another day ... but just remember this, Kalvin: we're coming for you ... and your teammates!"

[Kalvin is suddenly surprised]

   Kalvin - "(Is he talking about John & Jessie?)

   William - "It’s time to-"

   Mike - "Yea, yea i know already ... geez ..."

[Mike then collects the water on the floor with some from behind the dam and uses it to carry them both off the ground; in the form of a half bubble. Mike then uses the water to travel as a flowing river; by reusing the water that past them to the front, in the form of a cycle. Kalvin begins to get up once again but police cars show up and just at the edge of the dam. Kalvin looks at the cars as the police officers exits their cars. One of them shouts at Kalvin]

   (Policeman 1) - "Hold it right there! We have you surrounded!"

[Then a helicopter light appears and flashes at Kalvin as he looks up at it]

   (Policeman 2) (Says quietly) - "Wasn't there something else up here?"

   (Policeman 3) (Says quietly) - "It was big-"

   (Policeman 1) (Shouting at Kalvin once again) - "Stay where you are and put your hands where I can see them!"

   Kalvin - "(Crap!)"

[Kalvin looks below the helicopter to where the ledge was at]

   Kalvin - "(Looks like I only got one choice ...)"

[Kalvin then suddenly gets up and runs to the edge of the dam]

   (Policeman 1) - "Hey! Stop him!"

[Kalvin then leaps off the edge and falls to the ground below, where some water was shown at the bottom. He then collects rock alongside the dam while falling and tries to create a rock shell to cushion the fall. By doing so, he then plunges into the water as the police officers looks below to search for him, but he was nowhere to be found]

[Meanwhile, back at John's apartment while John & Jessie were still talking to each other in the living room]

   John - "... Well I guess, but-"

[Suddenly, the front door swings open as John & Jessie quickly turn to that direction. They both see Kalvin walking in with wet clothes and dripping water on the floor]

   Jessie - "What happened to y-?"

   John - "What are you doing?! You’re getting water all over the floor!"

[Jessie glares at John as he rushes to get some towels]

   Jessie - "Really?"

[Kalvin closes the door and looks out the window briefly while John rushes with towels to wipe down the floors]

   Kalvin - "We’ve got a problem ..."

[Kalvin grabs one of John's towels and wipes his face with it]

   Jessie - "What do you mean?"

   Kalvin - "Daniel's group, they're coming for us."

[Jessie becomes alarmed as John gets off the floor and look at Kalvin]

   Kalvin - "They were only after me before but now they see you two as a threat as well."

   John - "Are you sure?"

   Kalvin - "Yes. Now we need to be more cautious than before, anyone of them could get us unsuspecting."

   Jessie - "How do you know all of this?"

   Kalvin - "I just fought off one of them."

   Jessie - "That ice bitch?"

   John - "The woman with the mask?"

   Kalvin - "Neither."

   Jessie - "Just how many of these thugs are there?"

   Kalvin - "I assume there's still five of them, including Daniel and the masked woman ... possibly more ..."

   John - "We don't even know what they look like ... and some of them might not know what we look like. How are we supposed to know avoid our enemy if we don't even know who they are?"

   Kalvin - "I don't know, but the least we could do is review what we do know ..."

[After some time has passed, Kalvin puts a piece of paper on the living room table as they all sit at that same table]

   Kalvin - "Alright, first off: there's Daniel ..."

[Kalvin writes down notes about Daniel on the paper]

   Kalvin - "And he is without a doubt, the leader of the whole operation."

[Kalvin turns to John]

   Kalvin - "John, he was the guy who that masked woman was disguising herself as.

   John - "Got it."

   Kalvin - "I don't know what Artifact he'd be using but knowing him ... it'll probably be the best of them all."

   Jessie - "It makes sense that the big boss would get the best, but we won’t be seeing him on the front lines anyway right?"

   Kalvin - "Correct. We’ll have to defeat the others before we get anywhere close to him. Next is the woman in the mask, who apparently has no name to go by for the time being, but her Artifact speaks for itself. It allows her to disguise herself as anyone and could even turn invisible."

[John turns to Jessie]

   John - "Kalvin and I met her the day before we met you."

   Jessie - "I know, I think I also encountered her the same day as that ice queen, also before meeting you guys."

   Kalvin - "Which brings us to our next target: Serenity-"

   Jessie - "Aka: that ice bitch."

[John & Kalvin glare at Jessie]

   Jessie - "What?"

   Kalvin - "Anyway ... she has a glove opposite to Jessie's, which can create ice based objects as well as freeze anything in her path."

   Jessie (as she cracks her knuckles with a grin on her face) - "I’m personally gonna deal with her."

   John - "What about teamwork?"

   Jessie - "Can’t you two deal with the others?"

   Kalvin - "I know how you feel toward fighting her but John's right, we can't fight them alone ... we'll have to work together ..."

   Jessie - "Does that have to include me working with you?"

   Kalvin - "Sadly, yes."

   Jessie (with a glaring look on her face) - "What's that supposed to mean?!"

[John gets between them]

   John - "H-how about we move on, ok?"

   Kalvin - "Very well ..."

[Jessie folds her arms in a fit]

   Kalvin - "Our next candidate is Mike: he uses a gauntlet, similar to mine but on the left arm, it allows him to manipulate water and-"

   John - "Water? Does that mean-"

   Kalvin - "Yes ... he was the one I was fighting and I hate to admit it but he may be the most powerful of them all."

[Jessie sits up in interest]

   Jessie - "Really? And you fought him alone?"

   John - "What happened?"

   Kalvin - "He lured me to the dam just outside of the city and because of it, he had a source of nearly infinate supply of water."

   John - "Whoa."

   Jessie - "Did you beat him?"

   Kalvin - "Not exactly, the police showed up and we both fled the area. I would've had him but William showed up before-"

   John - "Who’s William?"

   Kalvin - "Oh right, he's the fifth member, probably the least threatening but I did notice he had an Artifact as well. I don't know what it was but he used electricity against me as they made their escape."

   Jessie - "He’s the least threatening ... and yet he uses electricity?"

   Kalvin - "Beforehand he never really fought, everyone else usually did the fighting instead, but he might be a potential enemy if he's out in the open like he was before."

   Jessie - "Ok, five members ... against three of us ... does anyone else see a problem with this?"

   Kalvin - "I know the odds may not be in our favor but if we worked together like we did against Serenity then we could defeat each of them ... one at a time."

   Jessie - "Look, I don't think i need help when it comes to Serenity, I had her right where I wanted her before she escaped."

   Kalvin - "You know me and John had a part to play, don't you. We were the ones slowing her down before you showed up."

   Jessie - "So what? It’s not like I was struggling to beat her, I did just fine. Hell, if you could fight Mike, the toughest enemy, all by yourself then I think I’ll manage just fine."

   Kalvin - "I’ve told you before: I’m a lot stronger than I look, it wasn't easy to do what I did and I could've died because of it. We need to be a team."

   Jessie - "Ugh! If that's true then why did you decide to go searching by yourself and follow Mike in the first place? You knew exactly what you were doing and you’re no different than me trying to defeat Serenity."

   John - "Why do you even care in the first place?"

[John's question catches Jessie off guard]

   Jessie - "What?"

   John - "What does defeating Serenity have any benefit for you? You barely know her."

[Jessie stands there baffled as Kalvin raises an eyebrow to the question]

   Kalvin - "Yea, why is that?"

   Jessie (grudgingly says) - "Because ... she said that she wanted to have both of the gloves ... and I was curious about it ..."

   John - "What is her obsession for the fire glove anyway?

   Jessie - "She wanted to use both of them at the same time. She believes that it may hold a greater power by using both at the same time ... and I was curious about it ..."

   John - "Is that even possible? Both fire and ice?"

   Kalvin - "I’m not sure, I’ve never seen it done before ... in fact, several people can't handle using one Artifact because of how much energy it takes it up. It’s like running: you can run as fast as you can but if you use up too much energy, you won’t be able to keep going."

   John - "Is it ... draining energy from us?"

   Kalvin - "No, its abilities that were given and we need to be adapted to. It’s not that it’s draining from us but we use it as if it was a part of our DNA. Like us, we've been able to use our Artifacts because we are aware of its abilities and the more in sync we are with our given abilities the more-"

[Kalvin has a sudden flashback of when Mike's eyes lit up in rage. John & Jessie are thrown off by his mid-sentence]

   Jessie - "More what?"

   John - "Kalvin?"

[Kalvin then remembers when he and John first met: how John struggled to use the ring at first and then later that day his eyes glowing by defeating Calypso. Kalvin's eyes widen]

   Kalvin - "That’s it!"

[Kalvin stands up and slams on the table. Both John & Jessie are surprised by Kalvin's reaction]

   John - "AH!"

   Jessie - "What the hell?"

   Kalvin - "That’s it! That’s how he did it!"

   John - "What are you talking about?"

[Kalvin turns to John]

   Kalvin - "The eyes! Mike's eyes were glowing just like yours was, it was because you both became so in sync with your Artifacts that you were able to summon a greater extent to your abilities!"

   Jessie - "His eyes? Glowing?"

   John - "Kalvin, I still don't understand."

[Kalvin's joyful expression dimmed down when he realized John wasn’t aware of what he was talking about]

   Kalvin - "Don’t you remember? It happened when you defeated the masked woman, your eyes glowed as you used the ring. Remember?"

   Jessie - "Ring?"

[Jessie's expression was puzzled by what they were talking about]

   John - "It was all kind of hazy, I mean I remember using the ring but I don't know how I did it honestly. I guess it just happened on instinct."

[Kalvin's face was confused but he began to twitch a little]

   Kalvin - "... Instinct? ..."

[Kalvin immediately then grabs John and pulls him up out of his chair and forcible grabs him]

   Kalvin (looks at John with a fierce look in his eyes) - "What do you mean 'instinct?!' Didn't you know how to use that damn ring?!"

[Jessie get up and rushes to them as she tries to stop Kalvin]

   Jessie - "Get off of him!"

   John - "I-I-"

   Kalvin - "How are you supposed to be an Artifact user if you don't even know what you did?! What did you do?! How did your eyes glow?!"

[Jessie then punches Kalvin in the face without hesitation which releases John. Kalvin is shown looking away from them as he wipes his face. It became suddenly quiet as John is surprised and Jessie is upset]

   Kalvin - "... I’m sorry ..."

[John & Jessie were both surprised by Kalvin's apology]

   Jessie - "(Is he ... apologizing?)"

   Kalvin - "I lost control there and I took it out on you. I just ... I just really wanted to know, because it’s something that I couldn't even figure out ..."

[Kalvin turns to John & Jessie]

   Kalvin - "But I don't intend to let that get in the way ... we're gonna fight this, with the tools we have and sheer willpower ... together!"

[John & Jessie stand there confused]

   Jessie (with a hesitant tone in her voice) - "O-kay?"

   John - "I guess ..."

   Kalvin (with a sudden change in mood) - "That's what I’m talking about!"

[John & Jessie are even more puzzled than before]

   John - "Weren’t you gonna kill a minute ago?"

   Jessie - "I just punched you in the face ... what the hell is wrong with you?"

   Kalvin - "What? … What?!"

[It shows the outside of John's apartment as they continue the conversation]

   John - "... You really have a weird mood swing going on don't you? ..."

   Kalvin - "... Shut up ..."

   Jessie - "There it is again!"

   Kalvin - "I thought I said shut up!"

   Jessie - "Why don't you make me?!"

   John - "Easy guys, let’s not fight in the-"

   Kalvin - "I’d love to shut you up for good!"

   Jessie - "Go ahead and try, I’m not scared of you!"

[The sound of crashing furniture goes off]

   John - "Watch it!"

   Kalvin - "You missed!"

[More sounds of broken objects]

   John - "Careful!"

   Jessie – “John, get out of my way before-"

   John - "OWWW!"

   Jessie - "Oops ..."

[Meanwhile, at Daniel's unknown headquarters. Mike and William walk into the same room where Daniel is at. Daniel turns to them]

   Daniel - "Back so soon?"

   William (as he puts his hand on Mike) - "He was-"

[Mike nudges his hand away again in anger]

   Mike - "Will you stop doing that?!"

[Mike turns to Daniel]

   Mike - "Did you really have to get William to spy on me? I was doing just fine!"

   William - "The police showed up ..."

[Mike turns to William]

   Mike - "I could've dealt with them too!"

   Daniel - "So? ... You found Kalvin?"

[Mike turns back Daniel]

   Mike - "Of course I did, it was easy to lure him out."

   Daniel - "Where was his hideout at?"

   Mike - "Well ... he walking down the street ..."

   Daniel - "And you made no attempt to follow him, am I correct?"

   Mike - "..."

   Daniel - "That’s what I thought. This is why we're supposed to work together, so we can strategize on how to defeat our enemies ... but we need to know where they are to do so. Right?"

   Mike - "*sigh* ... it won’t happen again ..."

   Daniel - "That's better ... maybe Serenity could learn a thing or two from you ..."

   Mike - "How is she?"

[Daniel turns to Mike because of the question]

   Daniel - "Why do you ask?"

[Mike turns away embarrassed]

   Mike - "... No reason ..."

   Daniel - "Hmm ... so what happened? You fought him didn't you?"

   Mike (gloating with pride) - "Well I gave him my best but he couldn't even keep up with my simpler attacks, he wasn't-"

   William - "At least until-"

[Mike nudges William]

   Daniel - "Until what, Mike?"

   Mike - "Nothing."

   William - "You were struggling."

[Mike getting upset]

   Daniel (grins with a mocking voice) - "Oh? Does the big dog have trouble with his bites? Hmm?"

[Mike getting more upset]

   Mike - "Shut up! I gave it everything I got, he just cheated that’s all! He tried to drown us both but I-"

[Mike pauses under realization]

   Daniel - "You what?"

   Mike - "I uh ... I remember feeling this ... strange energy all of the sudden ... as if I ..."

[Mike looks at his Artifact closely]

   Mike - "As if I could've controlled the whole ocean ..."

[Daniel was puzzled at first but then his eyes widen under a sudden realization]

   William - "What are you t-"

   Daniel - "William!"

[Both Mike & William became surprised by the sudden change in mood]

   Daniel - "Leave the room, I wish to speak with Mike alone!"

   William (with a nervous tone of voice) - "Y-yes sir."

[William quickly exits the room. Mike notices William leaving but as he turns back to Daniel, he grabbed ahold of Mike's shoulders and looks at him dead in the eye. Mike became nervous by Daniel's reaction]

   Daniel - "What happened?! Tell me every last detail!"


honestly, I'm surprised how long it took for me to write this: about 5 - 7 hours. certainly a lot shorter than my usual time which is like, at least a whole days’ worth.

also, I just thought I'd mention that even though these past 5 chapters were all bundled within the same week, from here on out more time will past after each chapter ... it wasn't my original intention but it just sort of happened.

with that said, Chapter 6 should be on its way soon ... maybe not too soon but soon ... probably ...

LATEST UPDATE: 2/7/2016
- names have been submitted and entered into Chapters 1 - 5

if i miss any or make a mistake then please let me know; after going through all of that i might've made a mistake or 2

« Last Edit: February 07, 2016, 04:15:49 AM by Hope4Future »

Offline Kata_Misashi

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2016, 09:01:00 AM »
Yo, yo Hope! Gave chapter one a read and lemme tell ya... John is suicidal xD
But I guess love is a strong motivator!

Anyway, here is my brief review for the first chapter. I'll read the rest later. x3

Spoiler
Before I even begin, let me say that the story itself is very well put together. I can totally envision it as a show I'd watch. The pace, the plot (even though we don't know much about the artifacts atm), the characters. They pull me in. That's the name of the game, yeah?

Quote
[Looks at his watch as he's talking; time: 3:49 but changes to 3:50]

Ironic that 'Judgement Day' and the current time matches up. Is this what you were going for? Not a problem. Just curious.

Quote
[after a while of driving, John parks the car in a parking section not too far from the jewelry store. he walks to the store but John notices somebody suspicious nearby the store; wearing scrappy clothes with a baseball cap covering his face]

Later on we figure who this character is and all. Was just curious as to why he is just standing there unless he was planning on robbing the place. I mean... for him to assume that a random man was going to buy the gem he was after is kinda... hard to believe. Maybe its something explained in a later chapter.

I'm hooked. Need to finish reading the following chapters. Keep doing what you do Hope! :clapping:

Offline Hope4Future

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2016, 12:16:30 PM »
Yo, yo Hope! Gave chapter one a read and lemme tell ya... John is suicidal xD
But I guess love is a strong motivator!

Anyway, here is my brief review for the first chapter. I'll read the rest later. x3

Spoiler
Before I even begin, let me say that the story itself is very well put together. I can totally envision it as a show I'd watch. The pace, the plot (even though we don't know much about the artifacts atm), the characters. They pull me in. That's the name of the game, yeah?

Quote
[Looks at his watch as he's talking; time: 3:49 but changes to 3:50]

Ironic that 'Judgement Day' and the current time matches up. Is this what you were going for? Not a problem. Just curious.

Quote
[after a while of driving, John parks the car in a parking section not too far from the jewelry store. he walks to the store but John notices somebody suspicious nearby the store; wearing scrappy clothes with a baseball cap covering his face]

Later on we figure who this character is and all. Was just curious as to why he is just standing there unless he was planning on robbing the place. I mean... for him to assume that a random man was going to buy the gem he was after is kinda... hard to believe. Maybe its something explained in a later chapter.

I'm hooked. Need to finish reading the following chapters. Keep doing what you do Hope! :clapping:

i'm glad your enjoying it and yes John is pretty suicidal but he knew what was at stake.

don't worry, Kalvin actually explains a lot about the Artifacts to John in Chapter 2 (or at least that's the idea, idk if there's more questions you may have about them). btw, what do you mean by 'game' exactly?

yes, the timing between Judgment Day and the current time being exactly the same was planned, it wasn't at first but i thought it would be more fun this way. in fact: the reason i had the clock change from 3:49 to 3:50 at that moment was to symbolize the change after exactly 1 year ago as time moved forward from then on (a fun little Easter Egg there  ;D).

yes i know, Walter B also pointed out that Kalvin could just simply rob the store instead of the alternative, but i haven't figured out how i could make it more realistic  :push:   although, part of me recently thought: "maybe he was going to and was waiting for the right moment to do so." if i were to elaborate: he knew the person who carried the ring was inside, so maybe the idea would be to wait it out until that person leaves the store which he could then rob from him directly instead of getting caught in the store. but considering John bought it instead, that would save him the trouble. of course, under this scenario, i wouldn't be able to describe his actions during that time anyway ... but i'll see what i can do ... thoughts?

thanks again for reading my work, i honestly didn't expect anyone to during this time. and on top of that, getting someone hooked on it is a first for me  :dance:  enjoy!

Offline Walter B

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2016, 01:49:18 PM »
Quote
so maybe the idea would be to wait it out until that person leaves the store which he could then rob from him directly instead of getting caught in the store

The "not getting caught in the store thing" goes in the right direction. Maybe the store has a camera inside and he doesn't want the camera to get his face, much less reveal his artifacts powers and get them caught on video, so he needs to do something else.

The thing is you still have the original logic problem. What is he going to do? Wait every day outside the store until somebody buys the ring? What if the guy had simply bought another ring, or bought nothing at all? Is he going to hang around the store for weeks until somebody gets the ring?

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Offline Kata_Misashi

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2016, 01:59:38 PM »
How about just skip the whole 'John see's him before entering the shop' thing?

John instead notices Kalvin through the window after he buys the gem and then gets the bad feeling like he's going to get robbed.

From Kalvin's side, he was on his way inside till he notices that John bought it and choose it would be easier to take it from him.

It's all in the timing really. Kal already had a plan and when he saw John, the plan changed.

How's that? ;)

Offline Coryn

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Re: Artifact
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2016, 06:53:17 PM »
Oh nice you gave then names.

(I haven't given up on the review BTW. Just without a computer it's a little hard to write up a proper one and I don't have the kind of time I need to do it by phone)

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF