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Author Topic: SuperMom  (Read 751 times)

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Offline Aozora

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SuperMom
« on: July 07, 2015, 12:56:35 AM »
Another short story I've started working on, SuperMom! It's action, comedy, supernatural, and a little bit of slice-of-life thrown in there. It's about a mom...who's super. Ok no really it's about a mom with special superpowers who is overprotective of her son. Only got roughly 390 words so far - WIP.


SuperMom!

Oh how she hated it – the way she’d waltz into her house all giggly and oblivious to everything other than her son. And he was the same way. Whenever she was around, Jacob wouldn’t even look at her – his own mother – for crying out loud!

She needed to get her out of this house and away from Jacob pronto. Otherwise, it would only be a matter of time before he’d fall into the clutches of this deceptive seductress. Or perhaps, was it already too late? She’d better do something fast, she thought.

“Mom!”

The sound of her son’s voice startled her as she snapped back to reality.

Jacob stood in the kitchen visibly annoyed with her. “I called you like a hundred times,” he scoffed.

“Oh hon’, I’m sorry,” she smiled. “You know how I am…always thinking about something for no reason.”

She had been definitely thinking about something all right, thinking about that ditz who, from the corner of her eyes, she could now see was flashing her a smile, her stretched lips pink and glossy. It was blinding – all that sparkly, glittery nonsense around her mouth. Why’d Jacob have to become friends with her? Why not Molly from down the street? She was such a nice, well-mannered girl – nothing like this serpent dressed in a human guise. The temptress – she couldn’t even remember her name – waved hello to her after noticing she made eye contact. “Buzz off!” That’s what she wanted to say at least. But she restrained herself and just casually waved back.

 “Yeah, whatever.” Jacob shook his head, sighing. “Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that Rachel and I are going to be doing homework in my room. So please don’t…”

“Yes, yes, I know, I know.” She stuck out her hands in acquiescence. “I’ll try not to do anything to embarrass you,” she said in a playful tone. But she didn’t make any promises. No way was she going to do that.

“Alright cool,” he said with a tinge of distrust in his voice. As he turned to leave, he noted, “By the way, the meatloaf is burning.”

She immediately turned to the stove and switched off the flame, disappointed by the charred slab that lay smoking before her. Gosh darn it! That’s what she deserved for paying more attention to her self-proclaimed arch nemesis than to dinner, she supposed.
     
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Check out my stories here: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=12492.msg213349#msg213349

Offline MK

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Re: SuperMom
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2015, 06:01:43 AM »
That was pretty funny, definitely can see that being made into a short daily comic lol

Offline MisterSherbetLemon

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Re: SuperMom
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2015, 06:05:24 AM »
I'm curious to see where this goes. I can't tell if the mom really is a hero or if she's just delusional in a mid-life crisis haha! Look forward to reading more.

Offline Aozora

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Re: SuperMom
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2015, 10:51:37 AM »
Thanks guys! Glad you found it entertaining. I'll try to keep more coming.
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Check out my stories here: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=12492.msg213349#msg213349

Offline bossx5

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Re: SuperMom
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2015, 06:17:48 PM »
I would read this and I think mistersherbetlemon is on to something with her being delusional it would add to your comedy factor.

Offline IamKeria

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Re: SuperMom
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2015, 12:44:02 AM »
I am so going to like this. I started smiling at this part "She had been definitely thinking about something all right, thinking about that ditz who, from the corner of her eyes, she could now see was flashing her a smile, her stretched lips pink and glossy. It was blinding – all that sparkly, glittery nonsense around her mouth. Why’d Jacob have to become friends with her? Why not Molly from down the street? She was such a nice, well-mannered girl – nothing like this serpent dressed in a human guise. The temptress – she couldn’t even remember her name – waved hello to her after noticing she made eye contact. “Buzz off!” That’s what she wanted to say at least. But she restrained herself and just casually waved back." I have a feeling this is going to be very funny. Please make me laugh

Offline Synctual

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Re: SuperMom
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2015, 09:17:04 AM »
Haha, interesting and funny. I like it. Can't say much with what I've read but you gave off a great first impression. So cheers for making me laugh and I'll be back once you post some more SuperMom!

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