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Author Topic: Sync (Development)  (Read 1562 times)

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Offline Meeki

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Sync (Development)
« on: July 10, 2014, 07:31:50 PM »
Sync (Development)

Please note the chapters for the story are held here and discussion talks are here


Summary:
In a world where technology is advancing swiftly, Virtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games have taken off. In particular the most popular of that is Myth, a fantasy MMO with over 7 million players, where dreams and adventures await! However 3 friends, having gone through a bad experience with the game before, don't play. However their need for adventure is strong and so return Myth. What awaits them?

Now that you know the premise, its time to explain what we're going to do here. It's simple development! Ideas, plots, arcs, even characters. But most importantly of all ADVICE and CRITIQUE's on how to better improve my writing and whatnot. Thanks!!
« Last Edit: July 25, 2014, 05:11:29 PM by Meeki »
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Offline Rojas

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2014, 07:36:48 PM »
My only question is do you have anything written out yet? Or at least a plot line?

Offline Meeki

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2014, 08:42:12 PM »
Yeah I've got a general plotline and where I want to go with it I just wasn't sure if I should spoil it all now. As for actual writing I'm halfway through chapter 1 atm.
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Offline Lumaria

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2014, 04:03:43 PM »
Sounds very familiar with .hack, but most MMORPG-type are.

At least youhave soem good elements, but i'm wondering about the whole terrorist organization and if it fits.
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Offline Meeki

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2014, 08:19:08 PM »
Yeah I may just remove that to be honest, I'll just put it as a made up excuse for the happenings on.

But yeah as I've been constructing chapter 1 (still in progress albeit slow) I have got a question: since its technically gonna be actually real is there any point in me going in depth with game mechanics? Or should I do a synth and sorta try to combine the two in a way?
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Offline Lumaria

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2014, 03:58:49 AM »
Well i'll be interested in what comes out. i'm wondering what makes this MMO unique in its own right. As if itwas real, what would make it good?just something to separate it from other MMO-based stories.
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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2014, 07:28:10 PM »
Seems like a story with an adventurous vibe. I can imagine a lot of cool visuals from having a phone to power up. I wonder what tone the story would take though, dark and gritty or fun and light?

Offline Meeki

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2014, 09:35:02 PM »
After days of writing, rewriting, deleting eveerything and starting from scratch then writing again, I FINALLY got something coherent down for the first chater woop! Please note this is merely a shell and will edit it according to feedback and whatnot I get thank you!

Spoiler
Chapter 1 - Ducks and Dragons

Myth, a fantasy world of magic and mystery, filled with unique races, legendary creatures and Gods. Explore a land filled with dungeon-

“Boooooooring, skip”

Zane raised an eyebrow in annoyance and swiped across on his Smartphone, skipping the intro dialogue to Myth, the world’s currently most popular Mobile Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (or Triple MORPG as it was commonly abbreviated to). The screen faded out and the login screen popped up.

“Hey you guys we should try using our old logins”

Zane lifted his scruffy black haired head up to the familiar everyday afterschool scene of his friends Chase and Jared chilling in his room. Chase looked inquisitively at the other two, his hazel brown eyes repeating the question silently again. Absently he scratched his short brown hair and then rearranged himself on the bed into a cross legged position.

“Yeah sure why not, we don’t lose anything by it”

Jared voiced his agreement with a nod of his head, getting some of his long spiky blonde hair into his emerald green eyes. These two traits had earned Jared the fond nickname “Saiyan” from his other two friends due to them being the main features of super saiyans from their favourite show Dragon Ball Z. Hastily he brushed it out of the way and then leant back into the wheelie chair he was sitting on, his lanky frame seeming to meld effortlessly with the shape of the chair.

“Alrighty then let’s do this”

The three friends turned back to their phones and entered their details into the login screen.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Welcome to Myth”

The words disappeared and the world came into view.

“We’re in! And man these are some seriously updated graphics!”

Zane’s exclamation was met with grunts of agreement from the other two. Zane turned his attention back to the game. Looking around he noticed the landscape he was in was a barren one, with deep black craters pock marking the hard grey ground here and there. The sky above was a matching lifeless charcoal grey with not a cloud in sight. This scenery stretched on as far as the eye could see.

“Huh wonder what happened here”

Zane turned around to see a human with short spiky silver hair and glowing amber eyes. He was equipped with an arm guard on his left arm which was black with a golden shoulder plate adornment; on his right hand he only had a matching glove for his left. He wore a long armless coat of brilliant orange with a black underside, while underneath he had a simple plain orange t-shirt with black shorts going to his knees and a pair of black kung fu shoes on his feet.

“Wow that looks pretty cool Chase”

The two turned to face a tall fully armoured silver samurai with a long, thin katana blade in a sheath on his back. From under the back of his mask, which only showed the deep glow of blazing red eyes, flowed a long silver ponytail.

“Well I guess that’s Jared”

Zane took a moment to assess himself. Compared to the other two, what he was equipped with was far less glamorous; just a mere short hooded black silk robe top with gold embroidered stitching on the sleeve wrists, coupled with plain dark trousers and black shoes. However he took consolation in the fact it still looked somewhat impressive with his long dark blue hair and glowing violet eyes.

“Well seems like not much has changed from 5 years ago”

Snapped out of his reverie, Zane turned to Jared.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the HUD is literally exactly the same. There’s the usual red and blue hp and mana bar at the top left and shortcuts at the top right, with the menu options at the bottom; although there now appears to be symbols instead of words for each”

Zane glanced quickly at the bottom of his screen. From left to right it was: A body outline for Stats and Equipment, A book for Skills, A bag for Inventory, a scroll for Quests, shield and sword crest for Guild, a dragons head for Pets and a wrench and gear for settings. He simultaneously opened his stats, inventory and skills page.

“Well it seems our stats remained the same level and we appear to still have the items we had when we last logged. However it does appear our skills have been reset with only the basic moves left…and even some new ones!? I suggest you guys check yours out”

Heeding his advice Chase and Jared both opened their menus to verify their own conditions. Jared quickly scanned through his and instantly realised something.

“Well this is new…we have titles and before you ask, Stats page bros.”

Zane and Chase quickly flipped to their own stats pages. As if prepared beforehand the three said their titles aloud one by one starting with Chase and ending with Jared.

Limit Breaker Crash Legendary Hero

Chaos Mage Zerox Legendary Hero

Sword Saint Jiru Legendary Hero

As Jared finished speaking he trailed off into silence, each buried in thought with questions. A front and back title? Legendary Hero? And more importantly what does the bit at the front mean?

“AAAARGH too much to process”

Chase’s outburst was accompanied with him driving his gauntlet’d arm into the ground with a forceful punch, leaving a fist imprint into the hard ground.

“Yeah Chase is right let’s just play and figure it out as we go along, besides this is an MMO we could always ask someone somewhe-”

“GROAAARGH”

Jared’s suggestion was cut off by a loud roar from above. Looking up, there was a silhouette in the sky fast approaching them getting larger and more noticeable as it came closer. Suddenly Zane realised what it was.

“Guys I know what it is….DUCK!”

Without wasting any time all of them dived in 3 separate directions as the creature crashed into the spot where they had been standing, sending massive dust cloud billowing in its wake. With one flap of its mighty black scaly wings, the dust was cleared to reveal the enormous presence of an elder Dark dragon.

“Dude…..that is not a duck”


I myself have a few questions even with regards to a couple things. Firstly descriptions, I really am lacking in that department I feel and any advice pertaining to describing things and ways to do so subtly would be appreciated! Equally pacing: I sorta feel this is a slow start but I hopefully will speed up with subsequent chapters. Anyways as said before any and all advice, criticism etc to help me improve is welcome as I still got tons more to write haha thanks!
« Last Edit: July 19, 2014, 09:36:42 PM by Meeki »
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Offline Lumaria

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2014, 05:38:14 AM »
Describe everything you want us to see....you'res leaning toward "script" as the description and dialogue are very separate. so you're better off putting a script format.

this will force you to describe everything you want your reader to see visually (if you want it to be a manga).
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Offline Meeki

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2014, 08:10:54 AM »
Ah ok thanks for the advice, out of interest can you maybe link me to what would be a good example of this kind of script format. Thanks!
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Offline Lumaria

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Re: Sync (working title)
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2014, 09:57:59 AM »
i recommend "my" script format, only because its more organized, and because everything is labeled, it really forces people to add more description. You can look up my stories on the link in my signature.
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Offline Meeki

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Re: Sync
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2014, 12:34:19 PM »
Just a quick post to show this isn't dead haha. Anyways after experienting for a bit I plan to stick with prose rather than script tho I've found my experiences in trying script enlightening and helpful. In the meantime I've more or less fully decided where I want to go with this story and am planning on rewriting chap 1 again and posting it in a seperate topic. This topic will now be considered as the development side of things.A seperate discussion board will also be made. Thanks again for the help.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2014, 01:55:33 PM by Meeki »
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Offline Meeki

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Re: Sync (Development)
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2014, 08:17:46 PM »
So I have a general question hopefully someone can answer it but what would be a reasonable time ratio for a VRMMORPG? What I mean is how many days pass in game for every 24 hours that pass in real life?
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Offline Lumaria

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Re: Sync (Development)
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2014, 08:19:58 PM »
So I have a general question hopefully someone can answer it but what would be a reasonable time ratio for a VRMMORPG? What I mean is how many days pass in game for every 24 hours that pass in real life?

in an MMO i think they try to kep it close to real time while some have a whole day go by within an hour.
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Offline Meeki

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Re: Sync (Development)
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2014, 08:25:56 PM »
Hmm I see how does a ratio of 1:5 sound? So for every 24 hours 5 days in game go by
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